#whyyy im not doing my work but this instead ugh
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the original painting has nothing in common with this show but whatever . this image just appeared in my mind i couldnt control myself
#plus i miss this fail family okay#original is the reluctant bride by auguste toulmouche#whyyy im not doing my work but this instead ugh#artists on tumblr#fanart#succession#succession fanart#logan roy#kendall roy#roman roy#shiv roy#siobhan roy#roy siblings#roy family#art#artist#interior drawing#illustration#🦦
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Bad Batch 1x01 spoilers
I've never done something like this before, but I figured I'd start. Reactions to the first episode of The Bad Batch. (This ended up being a lot longer than I intended, but whatever)
Spoilers under the cut
Red logo burning away starts strong
Yay narrator dude!!
Feels like clones wars
Animated rots scenes!!
And what grevious did after the rots beginning
HOLY SHIT DEPA!!!!!
And caleb right???
And we're in
Omg who voiced young caleb bc it sounds a lot like fpj but aged down and he def doesn't sound like the 14 I know he was when this happened
I like how we started out on familiar characters but not ahsoka or anyone from tcw. We started w young kanan and his master and we know what happened to them and all but if anyone watching hasn't seen rebels they wouldn't be lost as to who caleb and depa are, they'd just assume they're random jedi in o66
Good ol droid screaming as it falls off a cliff
Wow. Them.
I love crosshair
And wrecker
And tech
And echo
And hunter
B1's are so dumb
Lmao the salt from hunter
I feel like depas forehead pearls are a bit unrealistically large but I have no cultural standpoint to really know so...
Caleb's voice is too deep in the same way that jack frost from rotg's voice doesn't match his character model
Ah wrecker not really knowing what she means and echo, the one who has been trained to deal w people and hung out w ani and obi is just like 'thanks general'
Obes kenobes mention
Why is echo so pale
Depa and caleb feel a little too pale too tbh I wonder if it's the lighting or the whitewashing
Wow caleb is a lot like ezra, I can see why kanan wanted to train him lol
Is this what separates caleb and depa, leading to her telling him to run??? Do I need to read dume???
Oh no
Noooooooooo
Bb didn't get the order!
Oh caleb nooooo! Nooooooo they didn't receive that order, they can help you!!!
And he's gone
Oh I need an au where caleb stayed with bb and they helped him after depa died
Hunter sounds so much like rex it's weird like ik they're supposed to sound the same but it feels like wrecker is replacing rex or something. Even tho ik rex's story is over for the time being
Crosshair, no! Don't shoot at him! He's baby
Oh no did crosshair get o66???? It didn't seem to trigger anything in any of the rest of them, but is crosshair close enough to 'reg' for it to have triggered???
😭😭good soldiers follow orders
"sure thing, boss" "hey hunter got a sitch"
Crosshair acting sus
Oh I love watching padawans fight, they're so good!!
I hope that hit to the tree did a lil cognitive recalibration for crosshair, he was acting crazy
Caleb looks so scared!! He just watched his master get gunned down by his friends and now strange clones are trying to kill him/confusing him
Oh caleb
Oh no crosshair don't try to kill him!! Hunters trying to help!
Also hunter doesn't sound as much like rex w the helmet off, but it's weird bc most of the clones are distinguishable by voice even w helmets on. I guess it's the 'im in charge' voice
Star wars if caleb had gone w the bb
Oh hunter u sly dog lying to crosshair so he doesn't go after him. U gotta figure out why crosshair responded to o66 and no one else in ur unit did
Oh crosshair knows he's been lied to
I will always love coming-out-of-hyperspace shots
Ooh kamino, always nice this time of year
Echo is done w wrecker
Why hasn't crosshair taken his helmet off yet, lil bit sus
They better get his chip out on kamino, I don't wanna deal w this
Oof hunter
Oh who’s that, giving me cloud city vibes
Extreme cloud city vibes wow
Never realized how many clones are just on kamino
Coruscant guard?!?! FOX?!?!
The vibes here, omg
‘The war is over’ wow
Oh no who was that
A female jedi, doesn’t appear to be shaak, couldn’t see any montrals but never know, we don’t officially know how or where she died
Ok wow none of the bb has their helmets on except for crosshair, who got the order. The regs around kamino all have their helmets on. That scene in victory and death when ahsoka took rex’s helmet off-
And crosshair, he’s actins strange too
Oh tech, do u guys get bullied by regs a lot??
I love their barracks
Lol he finally took his helmet off only to stick a toothpick in his mouth, can he get anymore cliched?
Wrecker is seeming a lot more infantilized than he was in the s7 eps...
Yeah crosshair’s being sus
Ooh, he shifted his toothpick
Lmao ‘what programming’
Well documented my ass
Tech’s speech patterns are so stiff and robotic, it’s like he has to remind himself to talk in basic instead of binary or some shit
Tech throwing shade at crosshair
I can’t quite tell if we’re supposed to like crosshair at this point
Lmao we been knew
Oop ‘more machine than man’ the vader parallels are serving folks
Understatement.
Ugh sheev
Crusty ass bitch
Straight from rots wow
Who is the mystery child and why does he look mandalorian
Ooh he gone
Oh no, the beninning of the empire
Cheering?? Why?!?
That imperial march fade in tho
Thank you echo
Oh shit mystery child is female
Omega, I would not have guessed the pronunciation of your name by reading it wow
She def seems mandalorian
Ugh kaminoans
Oh the kaminoan pronounced it as it usually is, huh.
Omega’s character model def seems more masculine than female, I now headcanon her as trans
Ugh tarkin, I hate that crusty bitch
Empire politics ugh
I love how much shade is being thrown at tarkin and his stormtrooper proposal lmao
Why do all these clones have the standard haircut?? ik them boys like their variety, even if these boys are still under o66′s programming
Wrecker you’re being extremely loud
They’re all being loud in the mess, why
They remember, kid
Lol child
Oh my sweet summer children
The dad instinct was clearly passed genetically from jango lol all these clones got it
Why are background characters so mean? What about it, shiny? Why is ur hair regulation, reg??
The Sad Batchn omg the slander
Lol the food fight I’ve read about in the fics, its finally happening!
Is she.... australian??
The over-animation of character movements in this is reminding me of the looser style of rebels, as opposed to the more clunky style of tcw
Lmao he’s still got food on him
Food fight!!
‘Not again’???!!! Echo!! Wdym not again?! Food fights have happened before?!?? Wait. W bb or w torrent, bc I can see torrent having food fights on the resolute-
Crosshair’s just eating his food until someone messes
I like how echo still has his kamas
Oh no echo!!
Oh echo’s trauma, he doesn’t trust medical droids! Where’s kix when u need him, huh?
Lol, comically long name for a robot trope is alive and well, huh
Lmao the droid lowers his voice like ik this is a perceived bad thing, but I will not tolerate this slander, boys u need to get off kamino
‘The shock’ lmao whyyy
Lmao tech!!
Oh, echo recognized tarkin from the citadel!
‘When you blew up’ lmao
Oh they make me sad
Aaaaah fox!
Man the domino squad nostalgia
Those droids look cool
This is a neat scene, I like seeing them in action
Wrecker reminding me of hevy, but he’s got the training and success to back it up
Live fire???? No!!
Ugh I hate tarkin
Oh no wtecker
Did he just get shot!???!
Oh no crosshair, be careful!
Tarkin’s trying to kill them!!!
Lol wrecker I love you
Echo using his mech hand as a weapon, truly an arc
Now I wanna see what happened on felucia
I like how tech’s just sitting on the droid’s shoulders
And hunter just had a knife
These boys, I love them
Oh no tech bby
Hot damn that was cool
Wrecher things so too lmao
Tarkin’s like “why didn’t that work??’
Oh new baby clones
No tf they could not, they would never serve the empire and those bitches
I love that they have a window apartment lol
Ugh tarkin u shifty
They all stand at attention, only after glaring at tarkin
Oh no onderon
I hate tarkin, he’s a bitch
How quickly could bitch lord and darth sad have replaced the armory on kamino??
Crosshair still acting sus
Neither does echo, kid
No.
I like omega.
Crosshair, with the sassy hand on the hip-
What does that even mean?? Or elude to??
Lmao tech messing w wrecker, they rlly r bros
Its prob the vegetation
Oh, I missed onderon, but not this much
Lol the put-upon sigh
Its clearly saw and his rebels
Saw! Looking sharp, what’s w the hair....
That’s a very geometric beard, saw
They didn’t kill any jedi!
That’s not what happened, tech
‘The clones’ bitch that was rex and ahsoka, check urself
Aw, I’ve always like the design of imperial probe droids
Thank you, echo
It seems like crosshair’s o66 programming and his mutation are warring w his morals
Lmao the shade
I knew she was an enhanced clone!
Oh, so she is (at least on paper) trans! She’s a clone of jango, and yet she’s female! That must be her modification, but it makes me wonder why
Lol *flicks toothpick*
Aw, they have a picture of themselves! Recent-ish, too, its got echo!
Oh no, AZI!
The difference between them arriving earlier and now, the lack of escort...
Creepy how they had to open the hanger door themselves
Oh no! Everyone!
The coruscant guard, I wish they had gotten better
Tarkin u dramatic bitch
‘The brig’ this ain’t some tallship
Lol echo that shade
Their blacks are different from the ones seen in the past
Crosshair, stop being a bitch
Oh, I don’t like that phrase!! And the fact that crosshair screamed it in echo’s face makes me uneasy. Did rex fill echo in on why fives died?? I hope so...
Crosshair, ur chip hurting??
This child, I like her.
No! Don’t hit hunter!
No crosshair!!!!
I dislike this immensly
So they do still have inhibitor chips!
Tarkin you monster
Oh poor crosshair
ihatethisihatethisihatethis
Lol tech I love you
Wrecker you sweet pea
Lol that’s adorable
I love how they form a “wall” its so suspicious
He was about to say that, omega
Aaww, echo protective boi
Wrecker shut up tf
That was cool
Sneaky bois
This reminds me of rex and ahsoka sneaking around in v&d
Echo runs so stupid
Oh no they winter soldier’d him!
If he says who the hell is crosshar, I will lose my shit
Yes, he has. They took it from him.
The toothpick
I wonder how they’re gonna get crosshair back to normal
Not good that they nabbed the sniper
Oh, crosshair shot him in the same place he got hit during training!
Ooh, a kaminoan on their side!
I hope omega doesn’t die
Poor trigger etiquette, crosshair
Wonder if omega has any speciality training
They’re just gonna leave him there!?!?!?!?!
Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!
Omega reminds me of young boba
Oh, so its in her dna
Go back for crosshair!!
Holy fucking shit that was amazing! I didn’t expect it to be that long, but I’m not complaining! This ended up being a lot longer than I anticipated, but I don’t feel like cutting anything out, so sorry for the long post but at least I put it under a cut.
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ok im fucking mad about big brother tonight ill hide it under a read more but open if you want some fucking deranged reality tv talk
GODDDDDDDDDD FUCK THIS. i was already so fucking pissed about tiffany leaving even though its been built up to all week im still like. GOD. she is LITERALLY THE ONE WHO CARRIED EVERYONE LEFT TO THIS POINT IT WAS LITERALLY ALL HER..........LIKE IM SICK OF IT IM FUCKING. UGH. her winning was THE most satisfying outcome for this season and it got snuffed out because what ? because she was selfish once ? like GOD thats the worst fucking part of it fucking. xavier derek kyland all up in her shit about making a selfish move once when theyve spent ALL GAME being selfish.........xavier will literally still be complaining about her winning that hoh when its THREE WEEKS LATER and she JUST GOT ELIMINATED.....and he says it as if he doesnt make it painfully obvious he wanted to be able to betray the co to keep alyssa safe for his own personal game like literally nobody will say a word and he’ll be like “yeah it was just so hard cutting alyssa i was so sad i didn’t wanna do it but you know the cause is good not as good as having alyssa would be though” like GODDD THE HYPOCRISY OF IT ALL.............tiffany will sacrifice her entire game and break her back dragging these guys to the end and they just shit all over her discredit her and send her packing the first chance they get
and then to top it all off....HANNAH LEAVING TOO RIGHT AFTER. GOD. JUST A TWISTED LITTLE GAME GOD IS PLAYING WITH US ISNT IT.....AND SENT OUT BY AZAH NONETHELESS LIKE THATS WHAT MAKES IT REALLY FUCKING STING LIKE. AZAHHHHHH. YOU LITERALLY KNOW THE GUYS ARE WORKING AGAINST YOU. YOU ARE LITERALLY GUARANTEED TO LEAVE NEXT BECAUSE OF THIS MOVE. WHY DID YOU DO THIS. LIKE. GODDD. i wish i could understand what she was thinking cutting hannah like WHYYY would you just hand the entire game to these three guys who do not deserve it WHY!!!!!!! if hannah was still here then theyd be gunning for her and youd get a guaranteed seat in the final 3 but instead you just went okay let me give these guys who do nothing but disrespect my game and call me useless to my face exactly what they want so that they can have an easier time evicting me next like COME ONNNN. AND GODDD hannah looked so fucking defeated during it too i literally felt so bad for her she deserved. sooo much fucking better than this. god. god. i hate it here
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A/n:
I just want you guys to know a little bit about this story before reading it.
Y/n means your name, so every time I put y/n you should think of YOUR name.
A/n means author note, that means that I'm going comment on something or idk.
Warnings: just some snake bite,blood mention, throwing up, cursing (nothing too explicit) but I promise that this chapter is going to be funny!
And that's all enjoy my first fanfic ever!
Word count: 2,515
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This morning we got a pretty interesting case, it wasn't a bad case but we needed to do something about it.
So the boss (Steve) decided that Danno, him and I should go to the jungle to look for this prisoner (or I should say ex prisoner) and Chin and Konno were going to look in the house of this guy and search for evidence in how he escaped prison.
It was a really hot day out, so I decided to bring some biker shorts and a white basic shirt, and Danno decided to call me out on it.
-y/n?- he said my name first to get my attention while we were walking in the jungle looking for this guy
-Yeah?- I said
-Why did you brought shorts?, you know that in the jungle there is a lot of insects and you are going to get a lot of insects bites- He said in that little tone that he has.
-Look who is talking about clothes, the person that is wearing some tight pants and a tie in Hawaii- I responded to his unnecessary comment. All of the 5-0 team always tries to protect me, they treat me like a child, maybe because I started working with them since I was 19, but now I'm 23! They still see me like the little girl that cries every time she gets shouted at. Well maybe sometimes I still cry but that is not the point!
-Are you responding to me? Y/n you know that I only said that because I don't want you telling us after we get back that you got a lot of insects bites and start to complain about that- he said that like I wouldn't know that he just said it because ALL of them see me as their "daughter", that's a little bit gross, the only daughter he has is little Gracy, I love her btw.
-Sure,whatever Danno- I said while we kept walking.
-Guys stop talking and come over here, I think this is a shoe print of someone, maybe the guy we're looking for?- said Steve while making a hand movement for us to come.
Danno jogged fast to where Steve was, I wasn't in the mood for jogging or running so I just tried to catch up walking up there. Steve and Danno were like 18 meters away from me when I suddenly felt something in my ankle, I turned around and saw a snake BITING ME!! I started to scream so hard that I think maybe Chin and Konno heard it. Danny and Steve turned around and saw what was happening.
-Y/N RUN OVER HERE!!- Steve told me, well screamed at me.
I started to remember something I saw on the Internet, and instead of running towards them I went directly to the snake again and made it bite me again close to the bite before that. This time I screamed even more, and it hurt and burned so bad!! After that the snake ran away, I couldn't take the pain anymore and I fell on the dirt. Steve and Danno came running to me and Steve carried me bridal style ( if you don't know how that is look it up) and they brought me to a gigantic rock that was there and sat me down.
-What where you thinking y/n?- Danny shouted at you- you didn't just let that snake bite you not only 1 time but 2 times!!! Are you fucking crazy?
-I don't fucking know!!- I shouted back at him in pain.
-Hey hey hey, what have we told you about cursing?- Steve said while examining the bites.
-He just fucking cursed too! You know what right now I don't even want to talk about it, A FUCKING SNAKE BIT THE FUCK OUT OF ME.
Both of them looked at me concerned.
-Ok lets go from step to step, why did you let a snake bite you 2 times?- Steve asked me trying to keep me calm.
-I-I-I saw in an article that when a snake bites you, in the hospital they inject you the same poison that the snake bit into you, so I thought maybe if I let the snake bite me twice....
Before I could end my sentence Danny cut me off- You will be cured right?, where did you saw that again? BECAUSE THAT ISNT REAL Y/N!!! WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING!!!
-Ok ok let's try to calm down- said Steve while thinking of something- I went to the navy SEAL and I ACTUALLY know how to slow the process of the poison. The first thing is to- he said while grabbing my ankle- is to suck the poison out- and without letting me to even say a word he started to suck my ankle ( I know that it may sound weird).
It hurts so bad and felt so weird that I almost punched him in the face so that he could stop, but fortunately he stopped before I could do anything.
-Ok how does it feel now?- said Steve with hope that my wound will feel better.
-It hurts just a little less than before, but it burns like a bitch.
-When you get better be prepared to get scolded- said Danny.I just rolled my eyes at his comment,
-Steve we should head to the car so we can go to the hospital- Danny said while trying to make me stand up.
-The car is a little bit far from here and if we go now I don't know if we could make it before she....-Steve was about to say when Danny cut him off- ok so what should we do next?
Steve looked worried and it looked like he didn't want to say it- what Steve?!- Danny repeated himself
-Ok y/n just know that we need to do this so we can make it to the hospital ok?- I nodded getting a little bit nervous about what he was going to say- YOU need to pee into the bite- Danno and I looked at each other shocked and nervous.
-Haha yeah right, you know Steve right now I'm not really in the mood for jokes, can you just say it please- I said a little bit annoyed that he was making jokes in this moment.
- Im not joking y/n, you need to do this if you want to make it to the hospital, Danno and I are going to look away ok? You just do that and tell us when you are done.
-Nononono I'm not going to pee myself!! I prefer to die
-The last time you peed yourself was yesterday y/n, don't act like it was 100 years ago- Danno said jokingly
-Look y/n if you don't do it, then, we are going to do it to save your life.
-NOOOO, ok ok please look the other way and cover your ears- I said with a shaky voice, I can't believe that ME A 23 YEAR OLD is going to pee herself, I haven't pee myself since I was like 6.
Then I proceeded to do my business but I didn't get the bites, they were in my ankle so I couldn't reach.
-Ok you can turn around now- I said a little disappointed on my self.
-You did it?- Said Steve
-I'm not going to tell you that- I said feeling embarrassed- So how are we supposed to know ?- Danny said
-Ugh ok, I couldn't, my ankle is too far away.
-You just had to direct it!!- Steve said
-HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PEE IN MY ANKLE,?!?!- I said getting frustrated- you know what I don't even know why I'm saying this in front of you guys
- Ok plan B- Steve said thinking- Danno go pee in her ankle
-WHAT!?!?- we both said
-Oh hell no, Steve I already told you that I wasn't going to pee myself and now I did it, but if somebody else pees in me- I said and then gaged- I'm literally killing myself and dying in embarrassment.
-Do you have a better idea?- Steve said. I denied with my head angrily- Ok then Danno go ahead
- Why me tho?- Danno said going to my direction
-Because you are always my plan B- Said Steve with a smirk in his face. How could he be smiling while all of this is happening
-Please I plead to you, DO NOT PEE ANYWHERE ELSE- I said while turning my head the other way and covering my ears praying that it was all just a bad dream, really bad dream.
After 3 minutes passed and you felt nothing you started to get impatient, not only you but also Steve.
-Danno are you over yet?- Steve was the first to speak
-I can't do it!- said Danno-
-yes you can just do it!- said Steve trying to encourage him
-No literally I can't! I went to the bathroom before we came here and I haven't drank water since, and also you guys are making me feel nervous.
-YOU ARE NERVOUS? How do you think I feel ?!? Am I really going to die like this? Nobody is going to beat my record of the worst dead.
-You are not going to die! I will do it, it's the last plan I've got- said Steve changing places with Danno
-Nonono, now I'm NOT doing this, Danno was ok but you? YOU? I'm not letting this happen- I said while trying to get up
Then Steve grabbed me by my arm and putted me down- You are not going anywhere, we really need you to live, and if this is the only option we are going to do it.
-I'm not going to die because of the bites, I'm going to die of embarrassment, please tell me this is just a horrible nightmare, just wake me up please- I said not knowing what to do
-Look the other way and cover you ears now- Steve said, well he ordered me
-I'm going to cry, I'm literally going to start crying, WHY MEEEE WHYYY?- I said while doing what he ordered
-Don't cry, in a couple of months you are not even going to remember this- Danno said
After that happened I felt horrible, literally I felt horrible, I started to get dizzy and got nauseous.
-Guys I'm not feeling that well.
- Cmon it wasn't that bad, like Danno said you aren't even going to remember it- Steve said while trying to get me up.
- No literally I think I'm going to th-th-throw u...- before I could say it Steve quickly picked me up and putted me near a tree. Danno was grabbing my hair and Steve was grabbing me.
After I finally stopped throwing up Steve started to talk- Now we really need to hurry up and get to the car.
-I agree- Danno said while helping Steve to carry me.
Steve started to carry me bride style again but this time he was walking fast, Danny was in front of us running.
-Am I heavy?- I said so exhausted
-Mmm it feels like I'm carrying 3 pillows- Steve managed to say while almost running
-If you get tired you can give her to me Steve- Danno said
-No it's ok, she really feels like carrying pillows.
-Talking about pillows, I'm going to close my... my... my eyes for a little bit ok?- I said so sleepy
-Hey Hey y/n nonono you can't sleep, stay with us ok? What did you do today?- steve asked me so I wouldn't fall asleep
-Mmmm today I got up..... got some cereal.....then my annoying boss called me-Steve and Danno laughed at this comment-I went to my office.....pretended like I did something while waiting for a case
-Oh so you always pretend to be busy?
-Mmm yeah-Steve laughed again
-Then I came to the jungle and Danno started to scold me for wearing some biker shorts......and he was right a snake bit me....you peed on me.... and I'm going to sleep now.
-Nononoo we are here! We arrived to the car y/n- Danno said while helping Steve to get me in the car. Then they both got in and Steve started to drive as fast as he could.
-I'm going to call Chin and Konno and tell them what happened and that they need to go to the Jungle instead of us- said Danny while pressing buttons in his phone. Steve just nodded
While Danno was telling chin the situation Steve tried to make a conversation with me so I wouldn't fall asleep
After Danno was done talking, they were almost arriving to the hospital.
-I-I-I...-I started to say
-What ? What's wrong princess?- said Steve worried and Danno turned around to see if I was doing ok
-I-I'm never going to forget that you peed on me Steve, I will die with embarrassment-I said making both of them to laugh
-You are actually not going to die because we just arrived to the hospital, stay with us y/n-said Danno while opening his door
Steve carried me to the hospital and the doctors came running to me, they got me a room and they started to cure the bites.
After a few hours all of the team of 5-o was here with me in the hospital, my bites had some bandages around it and the doctor said that I will be good.
-Ptss Danno, Steve- I said to them
-Yeah?
-I just wanted to say that please don't EVER tell somebody the part that you guys tried and peed on me, if someone knows except for the three of us, I don't care who told it, I'm going to kill both of you and then myself- I said warning them
-Is that a threat?- Steve said laughing
-You can't say that to your superiors!!- Danny said laughing to
-And besides that, thank you guys so much for helping me and saving my life, I love you both so much!- I said while hugging them
-We love you too- Steve said
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A/n:
Well definitely was a weird one! I hope you guys liked the story, I'm open for any suggestions or requests and please if you don't understand something or see a gramar mistake don't be afraid to tell me! I really want to improve.
I hope you have a nice night/day.
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I can’t stand this city. I’ leaving i dont care what it takes. I can’t grow here. i’m tired of being awarded for beig mediocre. this city is so small anything i do that makes me stad out is rewarded when i know taken out of the context of this place i’d be looked over. If i stay any longer i’ll make this city a coffin. I can;’t do it.if i really want to step intoa new way of life i can’t stay stagnent here collecting accolaes for being basic!!!!! when i was putting up posters i met a porti rican i was shook iw as like wtf are you doing here lmaoo like run dont stay here and we had a long chat about the city and he looked at me and said ‘whata re you doing here’ and i wanted to cry T_T ause what am i doing here but being comfortable. i was almost blinded and almost settled. noooooo like whyyyy did i let that almost happen. Its funny cause i was praying last week asking for help from god because something didnt feel right and like almost broke down asking for help and just as i was gonna settle i met thiserson (whose name is angel lmao) that reminds me about where i trying to go.im rdy to leave this palce has sevred me enough. I finally got my head on the right path, i feel mroe free and myself. my depression has dwindled so much and even when i get down like yesterday i pick myself upliterally in a heartbeat. I’ve learned how to take control of my life here, express myself, and though ive made so many mistakes i’m learning. not as fast as i like but every month i can feel myself getting back to the core of who i am. honestly, reflecting back i really do owe so much to jesus. he’s been the like uhh beacon? sure yeah like the ebacon for where i neeed to b ehading. I staretd being motivated out of spite (lmao) but now im motivated so i can meet who i am in the future. i know me at my best is a goal i can reach. but i can’t stay here if i want to be that person. i’ve been feeling so disconnected with everyyone its like this city has been pushing me away and i’m ready to go. i won’t let it consume my time and energy anymore. my uncle has laready agreed to let me stay at his palce while i get used to syracuse and i know even though it will be hard (!!!) and diffcult (!!!!) and i’ll probably be a mess once i get there nand have to adjust but i need it. i need change and i need to push myself even more. fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk lmao a year can change you so much. i really really really want to thank the universe for letting me meet jesus and spending so much time with him. i hate how this ast week and the rest of the month is keeping me so busy and in a weird mental place. but now i know that the way ive been feeling is not permenant and i can shake it off at any time. i miss him so much and im getting really emotional this week which prob means i’m close to my period again T_T orrrrr ive been thiking its actually me finally expressing how im feeling and not supressing it. though i get emotional i can still take a step back and realize its okay to express how im feeling as long as im not taking it out on oters. but now i really gotta work on my patience. if i had have been more patient yesterday i would have had more time to spend with daddy instead of passig out AGAIN T_T T_T T_T i was so and when i woke up at 3am like wtfffff whyyy ugh once i save up, buy these computer parts and finish the last weeks of this job its time to really get tf out of here. I miss him :c life really has been dull without him and i keep being such a mess everytime we talk cause i’m trying to contain my emtoions and its not working ugh lmao anyway im gonna be sappy and apologize for how ive been and hopefully he understands cx
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