#why would you ever kiss me?
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its now december 3rd. all i need is a sweater
#i still remember#3rd of december#me in your sweater#you said it looked better on me than it did you#only if you knew#how much i liked you#and i watched your eyes as she walks by#what a sight for sore eyes#brighter than the blue skies#she’s got you mesmerized#while i die#why would you ever kiss me?#im not even half as pretty#you gave her sweater#it’s just polyester#but you like her better#i wish i were heather
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Mike flirting with El: Pizza box goggles! Vomit green socks! :D (this is cute don't get me wrong)
Mike flirting with Will: You're the love of my life
#byler dynamic#stranger things#it's so funny because what#im so silly laugh at my jokes#adorable great why i love platonic elmike#vs#you're the best thing to ever happen to me would you kiss me if i asked i mean uh as friends#*best friends tho#byler#byler correct quotes
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thinking about imogen and laudna, telepathy, and the modifying ordeal of being loved unconditionally again
#imodna#imogen temult#laudna#critical role#my posts#reposting my twitter stuff on here#being with someone who has telepathy and can theoretically read your mind at any and every moment#would be incredibly vulnerable and scary#which is what makes ‘i’ve heard everything inside of you. you’re not a bad person.’ the most soul-crushingly romantic imodna line for me#imogen knows every part of laudna and she loves it all#and that’s why as soon as imogen says that laudna kisses her again#because her words aren’t a metaphor or an exaggeration#they’re the truest affirmation laudna could ever get#anyway :) i’m clearly very normal about this :)
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"Found out"
set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i hate having a strong cinematic image in your mind for months..working hours on it..& at the end looking you have to be like “Sure. :/"#i'm especially unsatisfied with the beginning and the end and how i can't get eyebrows to work as i want#but i dont care any more... this is probably the comic that has given me the most trouble ever i just dont care#i barely even care whatsoever if anyone even sees this..Ugh..but at least i can move on to the next era now#i'm just annoyed i cant get out good enough my image of qifrey flinching bc he thinks oru will hit him but then he is not hit#i feel like sensei will do something along these lines. i want to see what she will do.#there are also other variations i have in my mind. i just want to know#i just don't want it to happen with qifrey on his deathbed or something. but it possibly will. I DONT EVEN KNOW.#i have another very cinematic image in my mind for something sort of along those lines which i will do soon. it never ends...#btw after this is probably my fics. yeah.... i think it has to be my fics. jasmine sort of goes along these lines#i need that space for dialogue. look - i'm a writer. this is HARD for me. so i am really glad i had the space and freedom of words#to process all the feelings. but i tried to get something out in a quick visual space too. <- me defending myself to myself at cai court#anyway going along the lines of 'Jasmine' - they talk this out and argue and cry and oru pushes the hat at him and tells him#why not just erase every memory i have of you then. That would be easier for us all wouldn't it?#they kiss and sob and kiss and lie outside in the flowers for many hours in that one. and then there's 'Deep End' where it turns out#way way way way more time and words is needed for this actually and that's upsetting for everyone.#the destruction of the hat is certainly another path to take. Can you make this work without that hat going up in flames?#something you have always had and have been clinging to will have to be destroyed. You have to lose something now. This is the crux qifrey#I CANT GET IT OUT IN ONE COMIC!!! I CANT DRAW IT OUT!!!! I NEEDED THOSE FICS!!!! PRAISE WORDS!!!! whatever im going to have dinner now
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does any other demiromantic (or arosepc doesnt rlly matter) feel like. extremely awful when they experience romantic attraction or is that just me.
#spacie spoinks#bruh#like. while im experiencing it i wish so badly that i wasnt 😭#i feel disgusted. is this what romantic repulsion is???#cuz like ill be experiencing all the lovey dovey stuff yk#''ooohb i wanna kiss dem oooh what if we help hands'' romantic crap but its like. anxiety inducing#like it feels awful??? is this normally how it feels?? i dont like it.#it like. doesnt feel right or natural and im assuming its b/c i just like?? barely feel it ever?? and thats why???#strange as hell.#i recently felt romantic attraction 2 someone (it has been 2 or 3 years since i last felt it) and it came on really strong for like#a week and that was like the worst week of my life#i couldnt think abt anything else but them like it wasnt even like. fantasies or anything just like.#the concept of them. my brain would just be like ''hey remember this guy''#I LIKE COULDNT SLEEP#HOW DO YOU PPL ENJOY THIS????#me; clutching my head for ~a week: AUUUGH!! THE PERSON!!! THE PERSON!!!!!#im so serious this is how it feels w/springtrap. hes like a blight on my psyche#the feelings have faded mostly i think. i think im normal abt them again (thank god)#its so strange. i think a romantic relationship would be fun but then i start feeling the feelings and its. awful.#so horrid#also like. im considering that maybe the relationship i would like some day isnt romantic but a qpr#idk. ive never been in any kind of serious relationship (never wanted 2 and have never been approached for it)#sometjing 2 think abt i guess?#anybeans. i tire.#hope i never experience that again#ik that like in 2-3 years ill be like: ''man. idk what past spacie was talking abt. would be nice 2 feel romantic attraction again''#NO SPACIE IT WONT!!! REMEMBER!!!!!! REMEMBER WHAT YOU WENT THRU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship
#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it#it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper#provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the#interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after#50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked#his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it#he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has#his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever#but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how#we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe#cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna#back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed#practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence#we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one#who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted#to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say#goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa#the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding#his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.
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everyone: i wonder what ninas cooking tonight
everyone: *opens the lid*
everyone: wHAT THE FUCK WHY IS IT SO SPICY???
#KLHDSDKLHDSKKHDSLS#nina speaks#classic#You Just Got Nina'd!#i'll write something cute i promise#i just like to have fun and create chaos#the scene before the kiss scene#thats actually the second part of it#was actually kind of nice#the boys can be a little nice as a treat before i put stan up against a wall i guess i'm a benevolent dictator <333#everyone was aghast#like why are we getting this only fans content for FREE#they could not do that people would die#jers on insta live reading peoples thirsty ass comments like ew guys have ya ever thought about idk gettin down on ur knees and prayin#evERYONE LIKE IM ON MY KNEES JERSEY PICK ME CHOOSE ME#HEEEELPPP#jersey vc Pathetic
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Let's see if I learn from yesterday and save a draft or copy before posting in case tumblr eats it. (I'm having to save and edit and post over and over because I've already tried a couple times with pics.)
Part whatever number we're on for Lems self inflicted heart wrenching rumbelle posts.
She's still hopeful here. Like maybe he just misunderstood me! Maybe he thinks I'm lying about it working.
He said he was the beast, now he's just acting like it. Whether he's acting for his benefit or hers he doesn't know.
The mindless beast that snarls and bites.
She's starting to realize that he isn't joking. He is very serious. She realizes in this moment she hurt him even if it was an accident. And she wants to fix it. True love can fix anything! True love's kiss can break any curse.
Right?
You can kind of see here that his mask is slipping. He's already regretting screaming at her and putting on this beastly show.
Now he's really slapping that mask on his face and going full force with the act.
They say I'm a beast? Let me show you what a snarling monstrous beast I can be.
There has to be that small sliver of faith he still has in her that she wouldnt team up with the queen to fuck him over. But he's so guarded and in such disbelief that he doesnt believe it.
This is the first time she really recoils from his touch, from his words (least that I've seen) the first time she's been truly scared of him.
This last look of thinly veiled sorrow and heartbreak. He thought she was truly genuine, and she's conspiring with the queen, he should've known all along.
If you dont see a problem it doesnt exist. If I lock these thoughts away they cant hurt me.
But they already are.
#Last episode we left off with rumple “finger guns” stiltskin finding out belle had an inkling about true love's kiss breaking the spell#belle's at first like cmon silly rumple you can trust me! would i lie to you?#welcome to the consequences of your own actions#it's called therapy rumple everyone can benefit from it including the Dark One#he's like a kid who gets asked out as a joke all through adolescence#and then as an adult they think everyone showing interest it too like har har 🙄#to be fair i would be scared too if someone was screaming in my face and shaking me#that's his point#fear him#for who could ever learn to love a beast?#Shes still so confused and upset. She loves him#and she knows#she KNOWS#that he loves her#but why act like this?#rumbelle#ouat rumple#belle#belle x rumple#belle french#rumplestiltskin#1x12#skin deep#ouat#once upon a time
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you hold a pups face in your hands and you give them a little smooch on their forehead and you realize that actually maybe everything will be okay just so long as there are still pups to give litle smooches to
#if uou even care#not even kidding was just brought to actual tears giving my dog a kiss even tho he was just begging for my mac and cheese sgfdgshaj#hes just so cyte 😭#babyboy do you have any idea how cute you are!!!!!!!!!#doyou have any idea how loved and cherished you are!!!!!!!!!! do you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and Yes i would kill for you but im very sorry i dont think its a good idea for me to give you all this cheese baby JSDHFGDF#i dont think you can handle all that. skill issue#sorry dont listen to me its not even that late idk why im so delirious KJSDHFG#txt#omg shut up hes SO cute its actually criminal. will i ever love anything or anyone as much as i love this stinkin idiot#god i hate you denvr. youre my favorite thing in the world
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um guys........ i think u need to understand i'm going fucking insane over this picture
#LMAO??? WHAT THE FUCK ?? LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FAVCT????????????????????????#you see the man on the right on your screen is probably the greatest man to have ever lived in my eyes#also known as riccardo patrese#i mean look at him!!! and his suit and tie and waistcoat???#BABY BOY YOU LOOK AMAZING!!#actually breath taking stuff right there i mean full rights to him for looking that good#and dear god he looks so good#and other guy is walter rohrl whom i don't really care for. nice to see him there though :)#because wherever there is walter there is usually his codriver christian geistdörfer#who just so happens to be the second greatest man to have ever lived in my eyes#christian is this little beam of joy. i love looking at him. he has such a kind face.#like the sort of face you would feel safe asking for directions if you needed to#whcih would be fantastic considering that is like literally hiss job#ANYWAY#the faact that walter and riccardo are together meant that riccardo and christian probably have met and like shook hands or something???#DO YOU UNDERSTAND THEN WHY I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#lord if there is a picture with those two i will literally go to grave crying tears of joy. maybe that is all a girl ever wants.#god i can't get over how much excitement this picture causes me. there is so much hope in the world!!!!!!!!!#also patrese................................. again. i think we should have kissed at least. utterly unfair.
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One day I will learn, that just because the bottle is low, does not mean I need to finish off the bottle.
#imma be so fuckin hungover tomorrow#someone should kiss me#and i moght be either asexual or aromantic or both which like woo thats funny to only me for so many trauma reasons#i love#im so drunk#i too drunk#i stated typing thos at 12:30#imma smoke pot after i post this#if your reqding my tags hi i love you. why are you reading this though like im a schizo bipolar depreased trans girl im unhinged in the tags#i need to stop drinking by myself#if think im an alcoholic as well if it wasnt for the fact that i can genuinely stop when ever i want but idkmaybe that changes?#at this point im just typing to annoy myself cause i think its funny to annoy other people and itd be hypothetical to not annoy myself#im ramblimg in the tags and honestly its your fault for still reading this#trans thought time#i wish i was born with a pussy but i do like having a cock and there is a possibility im genderfluid and fuck me that sucks if true#like how do you transition if your genderfluid? like i kinda want a cock and pussy and i know thats an actual option#but is it the right option?#i hate being trans but not knowing what kinda trans maybe ill hit where im at with my gender and just say tranny#cause i already say faggot for my sexuality instead of anything specific maybe i should just say tranny#this is probably what a therapist is for but idk if i can justify paying for this instead of saving money to buy a hoise#america sucks#capitalism sucks#love is such a bullshit thing#how can i be in love with some ane be in love with someone. being in love is nothing but selfish but also you have to be selfish for youryou#like i know that doesn't make sense sense but it makes sense to me and i also know its wrong#maybe i should give up and spend money on a therapist#i love my freinds and would sacrifice myself for them literally#12:51 and i have one more short tag to add#i hope you didnt read this far cause even in a drunk state this tag is embarrassing and im sorry you know me irl im sorry this is rambly+ugh#but if you dead read all the tags <3 i love yoh and would die for you
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wow that PBH cover of heather by conan gray sure got me feeling several different kinds of insane
#asto speaks#a. its a really nice song!! like i definitely had it saved at one point#either heather or astronomy. maybe both#b. his voice... ough#c. the caption is 'if ivan sings a pop song' and uh. i mean just look at the lyrics#'why would you ever kiss me? im not even half as pretty' sir. what are you doing#alnst#aughh
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Okay but count your blessings. I COULD tell you how “Heather” by Conan Gray is such a Hamratio song. It could always be worse.
#why would you ever kiss me…….I’m not even half as pretty#hamlet#horatio#hamratio#I WISH I WAS HEATHER <- except he wishes he was ophelia
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today was ok good great bad 😭 rant in tags lets try to be normal abt this
#it's not tuscan leather， but they do smell like mint and cherries and a fireplace. they kissed me#all over my back， and my hand， and my shoulders. i only ever kissed them on the lips. i only ever kiss them#when i'm about to leave them at the station gates. some red-eyed bloodhound cancelled their own plans and i laughed with them like a friend#i asked if they want me to bring them a hot water bottle or painkillers or a pair of lungs for them to eat.#the person in front of me has 4 lungs and 2 hearts and a brown leather coat and those bright radiance-incarnate kind of eyes.#you know the kind i mean. their hands are diligent with the pen. they say that i'm an angel and i'm right and i decide#the truths-in-all-possible-worlds. they say they only perceive the parts of me that i'd like perceived. they say all the right things.#the dog doesn't mind at all. the next station is edgeware road again. the dog says don't come over baby. its all slurred and deep and#shallow. returns a falsum. i really like you， baby. let's just be nothing， baby. i can't comprehend that anyone was raised unhappy.#she has free gaza painted on the back of her designer jacket， and she says she can't believe people suffer. there's something wrong with me#baby， why else would i turn down two perfect girls? she broke my nose， baby. ye zendegie dige ashaghet misham azize delam.#she might be a rich bitch but i only lived in kensington， baby. sunshine says they can't have kids because they plan to be#an enemy of many states. i offered to meet them but i look up and i notice the blonde streaks in their hair moving in the light.#i tell sunshine i'll never sleep with them. they want me in such a kind way it almost hurts.#they say we have a lot to teach other. i put the dog down again. my friend is wrapped around me. my friend walks me to the station.#i kiss them goodbye at the gates.
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A romantic "heather" kind of situation hurts. But a platonic one hits different. You see your soulmate, the light of your life choosing another person right in front of you. It pierces your heart, even it was once.
#heather#conan gray#mini rambles#mini shitposts#instead of “why would you ever kiss me”#its “why would you ever choose me”#can you tell im sad?
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hi i just want to say i reallllyyy love your smalletho superhero au on ao3 it's amazing and aughhhh im so so insane about it and i cant sayy anyyythinggg to my friends cause ofc theyre twitter people and i have to be insane about your fic alone *sad face*
i love love love the amount of taylor swift titles btw
(also id go insane if you name a fic after false god or i can see you lyrics just a thought hehe)
awwww thank u so much omg! i lovelovelove naming things after songs i love (which is why there's so much taylor and olivia rodrigo LOL) and omg ive been thinking about lyrics from i can see you for a while now actually!!
#“and we kept everything professional” is the one i was thinking of#and i'm not going to say who it's about yet#but you could probably guess#actually maybe not. you'd have to really put your mind to it#it's not a pairing we've seen much of yet in the series#but i'm so excited for them to make an appearance!!!!!#and oh gosh i'm looking at the lyrics now#why does this fit the au so well?????#“they keep watchful eyes on us” desertduo anyone???#“you can see me as a secret mission” DESERTDUO. ANYONE.#it's not so related to the desertduo You Guys Have Seen yet but their backstory.... i'm sorry it's so them SOOO THEM#“what would you do if they never found us out” guys. oh guys come ON!#“then we kiss and you know i won't ever tell” SHUT UP OMG. SHUT UP SO BOAT BOYS SOOOO BOAT BOYS CODED#anon ihy for this bc now i have to add so many more lyrics to my “potential song titles” list#(slash j)#bfop au#my asks
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