#why are these kids getting scarred from their parents man ToT
Note
OMG PLEASE MARRY ME IM SO FUCKING HAPPY YOU HAVE NO IDEA
okay, so for starters, this is what they look like:
This art is NOT mine btw, I made it using a picrew, but I did darken the colors using ibispaint
My oc’s name is Marcy, they’re nonbinary and use they/them pronouns
Marcy’s 16!
Marcy is the elemental master of darkness, meaning they basically have umbrakenesis!
Marcy meets the ninja during the tournament of elements
Marcy is a very quite yet observant person, but they also have the shittiest social cues EVER 😭
Poor thing is so dense? Oblivious? like, think season 1 Zane, that’s kinda how they act
Their also sooo oblivious, they can’t tell whether or not someone is genuinely complimenting/flirting with them (but that’s mostly cuz of trauma <3)
They have a monotone-ish voice, so people have a hard time telling if their joking or not, and most people don’t understand their humor anyways (same lol)
This motherfucker does NOT know the phrase “think before you speak”, what’s worst is that they’re the bluntest (is that even a word?) person ever
They don’t mean to say anything rude or hurtful on purpose, but they often tell their honest opinion without thinking, and comes off as rude most of the time
This fucker has such a big sweet tooth, like, they’ll devour an entire bag of candy within an entire day or two
OBSESSED with sci fi and tech, they will NOT shut up about how awesome Cyrus Borg is or how cool the latest ‘Starfarer’ comic was
The BIGGEST nerd ever, they LOVE fantasy and (as I’ve said before) SCI FI ‼️
They love music, and they love reading as well!
Marcy’s aesthetic is grunge/emo!
I really wanna ship them with one of the ninja I just don’t know who 😭
ON TO THE TRAUMATIC BACKSTORY
Trigger warners: abuse (mental and physical), violence, alcohol, etc
Marcy was able to first tap into their elemental power when they were really young, I’m talking like, around 5-6 years old
Well, once their father knew about this (whom of which was the previous elemental master of darkness) he decided to train them, wanting them to be the perfect elemental master
So, Marcy’s father would train them everyday, and was like, crazy strict and manipulative
Marcy’s mother couldn’t really do much due to their father manipulating and gaslighting her into thinking she and Marcy couldn’t survive without him, and stuff like that
Well, one day, after Marcy turned 14, their father got drunk and he got into a fight with their mother
Marcy observed the fight, until they realized that their father had raised his fist, preparing to strike their mother
Marcy was quick to rush in, using their training and fast reflexes to stop their father, which only made him even more angry
Grabbing a nearby empty beer bottle, Marcy’s father threw it directly at them, and ended up hitting them in the face with it
The force of the throw caused the bottle to shatter on impact, the glass shards cutting through Marcy’s skin (hence the scars on their face)
Out of pure fear and adrenaline, Marcy ran out the door as fast as possible, running through the streets of Ninjago, knowing they could never return back home, knowing that it was unsafe to do so
The backstory kinda sucks rn, I’m probably gonna change it up a little later on 😭
ANYWAYS THATS THE END OF MY RANT THANK YOU FOR READING ‼️‼️‼️
Eyo, umbrakinesis?? I'm curious on how different that is from the element of shadows :o
And we love a blunt royal. You can always trust em ToT. Feelings may get hurt but at least you get something real, yknow. And I dig their aesthetic choices mmm.
But why is their backstory so sad :( . And is their mom okay? Does the dad get his comeuppance?
(Ooh you could incorporate their powers on how they overpower their father, in the future or something. It would be fitting that the man who'd seek perfection from that power results in that very thing defeating him. Karma or something lmaoo)
#yeAsk#Tw abuse#Wait I just realized this is very reminiscent of todoroki from bnha#Mean father striving for perfection from their spawn?#Getting scarred from their parent?#why are these kids getting scarred from their parents man ToT#Oc share corner
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The cutest kick to the knee
When Red son finds himself in a tool store he runs into a three year old who kicks him in the knee. (The uncle monkie kid au timeline a)
It was a Tuesday afternoon as Red son found himself looking for a replacement wrench. Thus he was looking over the selection his preferred store had. He didn't want just any wrench it had to be sturdy, heaven forbid it snap like his old one had this morning.
Mother was fuming that he needed a new wrench which delayed father's release by a few hours. She relented when Red son asked if his own well being was worth father's release. She didn't want Red son to lose his arm. A few loose bolts was all it would take.
Now he was debating which of these wrenches were worth the price. Though mother wouldn't care ,he did. The tool should last as long as his last wrench had. It lasted at least thirty years given all it had to endure.
He was holding a particular brand of wrench when he heard feet behind him. He stepped to the side not paying much attention as he was reading the description on the casing. The demon probably should have been playing attention.
"Heys" the lil tot said as he tried to grab the big red head's attention. He needed the wrench the man was holding for his baba. He saved all his money to get it because Uncle Mk broke baba's other wrench. Baba was looking at the screw drivers so it was the perfect time to surprise him with a new wrench!
"heys!" He repeated yet the man wasn't listening to him. He needed that wrench! It was the last one of baba's brand. Why was this guy not listening?!
Red son didn't realize someone was trying to talk to him until he got a very sharp kick to his knee. Which caused him to yell out of shock and pain as he dropped to the floor. The wrench he had been holding hit the floor and he saw little hands hands grabbed it. A little boy was taking a wrench from him what the hell?
Adorable little tot with deep red hair and golden hazel eyes started booking it away from him. Red quickly got up and gave chase after the toddler. He shouldn't be taking things from adults. The little guy was fast thanks to that knee kick.
"Mengyao? Why are you running bubba?" A Carmel brunette asked as Red caught up to the boy. They picked up the tot and looked over to see Red then looked back at their son," What did you do?"
"he kicked me in the knee and took the wrench I was looking at" Red son said in a calm manner. He wasn't going to hell at the parent trying to figure out the situation.
"Mengyao we've talked about this you can't hurt people to get something you want! I don't care what auntie Mei says auntie Mei isn't your baba" the man softly scolded as he took the wrench and handed it back to Red son. Red catching the tinkering scars on the man's hands.
"buts you need a new wrench baba and I tried to ask but he's was ignoring me!" The toddler protested trying to get wrench back.
"I am so sorry sir. He's not super good with words yet." The man apologized as he kept the toddler on his hip," Mengyao apologize to this man for kicking him in the knee"
"but you needs the wrench baba!" The toddler said with a huff.
"I can order a new wrench sweetheart. He may need it more than I do and you were very mean kicking him" the man said as the toddler started to tear up. Aw he just wanted to help his baba. Red had ignored him unintentionally and red probably would have done the same at his age.
"if it means anything little one I am sorry I didn't hear you" Red said to the little boy who rubs his eyes.
"I sorry I kicked you in the knee. Baba wrench broken" Mengyao said as he started hiccuping and his baba kissed his forehead. It was pretty cute he was so determined to help his baba.
"again I'm sorry sir listen if you want a bowl of some of the best noodles in the city just go to pigsy's noodles and say Shanyao sent you or call me and I'll set it up for you" Shan said as he quickly wrote his number down and ripped it off his grocery list before handing it to Red son," I'm going to get him home it's clearly nap time"
"oh thank you. I hope you're able to get a new wrench" Red son said as he let Shan leave with his adorable little boy. He'd forget the name of the business later that afternoon when he chased the man's brother through the city.
#lego monkie kid#lego monkie kid au#monkie kid#lmk#lmk oc#the uncle monkie kid au#timeline a#qi shanyao#red son#shimmeringembers
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Final Nominations List
Sorry for the delay, but the number of nominations that came in last minute was overwhelming and I also had to create the voting form as I went. Here is the final list of nominations.
Nine creators have asked to be excluded from the awards, and one creators chose to limit their nominations, so if there’s someone you nominated that’s not on the list, that’s why. There was no shortlist. Every creation/creator that was nominated and wished to be part of the awards, was included.
There are an additional two questions on the voting form for you to kindly fill out - one of which is optional though.
1. THE ONE THAT MADE YOU GASP! — A story which had a plot twist you didn’t see coming. Something that caught you so off guard that you had to stop a minute and take a breath before devouring the rest. What’s the story for you?
5 Times Peter Parker Ignores Flash And 1 Time He Didn’t by Dorthea
A Beautiful Lie by Rayrox360
A Broken Promise by Hanjihyun
A Difference In Husbandry by Happy_Cloud
A Peter Parker Problem by Spagbol99
Archetype by Bean_Reads_Fanfic
Chaotic Peter Parker by Isnt_It_Pretty_To_Think_So
Cycle Through by Ambivalentangst
Ever In Your Favor by Iron_Spider
Every Fifteen Minutes by Matter_Of_Loyalty
Fallen Angel by Musicheart08
Figure-Out-Able by Aimaim94
Flying And Flips by Myglassesaredirty
Give Him The Life, That I Couldn't Give You by Superherotiger
Here Comes The Sun (Series) by Motherkarizma
Identity Theft by Kitcat992
If They Knew All About You by Mshermia
In The Dark Of The Night (Just Before Dawn) by Emily_F6
Inevitable by Annie_Walker
Irondad Ficlets by Ironxprince
Like Father, Like Son by An_Odd_Idea
Love Leaves A Memory No-One Can Steal by Ironmum
More Peril In Thine Eye by Iron_Spider
No Longer In Service by Starryknight09
Peter-Man - Oh, F*Ck - I Mean Spider-Man.by Orphan-Account
Proof Of Concept by Flurrbee
Serenity by Jolinarjackson
Shock Therapy by Solstice
Spidey Tot by Kevy_Grayce
Stab Me In The Back (I'll Catch You From Behind by Lansfics7
Stop, Look, Listen by Forthenightisdarkandfullofterror
The Case Of The Sinister Spider by Ironfamjam
The Third Option by Uncertainty_Principle
Through The Oblivion by Wayward_Avenger
Thunder And Attrition by Magniloquentchanteuse
Time Will Tell by Tonystarkissist
Unforeseen Circumstances by Jlmonroe1234
We're Here For You by O0citrusee0o
Worst Summer Vacation by Mysterycyclone
2. THE MULTI-CHAPTER YOU COULDN’T PUT DOWN — A story which kept you up all night or calling in sick for work so you were free to read. Who’s the culprit?
A Beautiful Lie by Rayrox360
A Difference In Husbandry by Happy_Cloud
A Parent Apparent by Happyaspie
A Peter Parker Problem by Spagbol99
A Right Hand Grip by Aebleskiver
A Sailor Went To Sea by by Yellowdistress
A Stark Contrast by Melodicrunes
Accepting The Tides by Emma_Anacortes
Acolyte by Macabre
Air I Breathe by Heartofcathedrals
All The Devils Are Here by Yellowdistress
All The Senseless Scars by Notapartytrick
And You’ll Blow Us All Away by Losingmymindtonight
Astronomy In Reverse by Pansley
Baby's Firsts by Mainstreamelectricalparade
Breathe, Then Repeat by Thesecretuchiha
Come My Darling, Homeward Bound by Iamirondad
Coming Home by Inkinmyheartandonthepage
Concentrated Capacity For Trouble And Love by Lemon_Meringue
Cycle Through by Ambivalent Angst
Ever In Your Favor by Iron—Spider
Every Beautiful Lie (Always Has An Ugly Truth by Da_Moose
Exploding Head Syndrome by Foolscapper
Five Times Tony And Peter Chaotically Cleaned by Ironmum
Found Family by Thedisneyoutsider
Free Like A Broken Heart by Notapartytrick
He’s My Kid by Jennylarner
Here To Help by Joyful_Soul_Collector
I Will Carry You (Always) by Thestarvingwriter
Identity Crisis by Kitcat992
If They All Knew About You by Mshermia
In Unlikely Places by Looneylizzie
Irondad Ficlets by Ironxprince
Just A Little Bit Longer by Mrs_T2019 (Allthehc2020)
Learn To Live Again, by Books_Entertain_The_Mind
Legacy by Docseuss
May Parker's Complete Guide On How To Raise Your Spiderling by Embarrassing_Myself
More Peril In Thine Eye by Iron—Spider
Mr. Parker Declined To Comment by Apisdn
Only For A Little While by Eccentric_Artist_221b
Pain Will Always Come Back To Haunt You by Kevy_Grayce
Permanence by Theexhaustedalchemist
Peter-Man - Oh, F*Ck - I Mean Spider-Man. by Orphan-Account
Petey And The Hermit by Eccentric_Artist_221b
Pieces Of Echoes by Geekymoviemom
Proof Spiderman Loves Clickbait by Mauvera
Rise From The Ashes; Just To See You Again by Mintstream
Silent Screams And Surprising Saviors by Normalisoverrated
Sins Of The Fathers by Geekymoviemom
Spider-Man: Avengers (And Midtown High) React by Gayplums
Stab Me In The Back (I'll Catch You From Behind) by Lansfics7
Stop, Look, Listen by Forthenightisdarkandfullofterror
The Darkest Hour Is Just Before The Dawn by Starryknight09
The Definition Of Family by Queen (Ramble)
The End Of Infinity by Friendlyneighborhoodfangirls
The Guardian by Emily_F6
The Haunted by Emily_F6
The Lost And Forgotten by Lizcraz
The Rattle Of Their Hearts by Iron_Spider
The Third Option by Uncertainty_Principle
Thunder And Attrition by Magniloquentchanteuse
Time Will Tell by by Rockinheaven
Transitions by Neuropsych
Turn Back The Clock (And I'll Try Again In The Morning) by Madasthesea
Wait, You're Spider-Man? by Fritokays
Wake Up And Smell The Coffee by by Bergen
We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve by Polaroid15
We Will Foresee Obstacles by Blackwatchandromeda (Avenris)
We're Gonna Have To Do This Together by Edibna,
With Great Care by Giggles96
You’re Killing Me Smalls by Phoenixhp5
3. THE ONE-SHOT THAT THAT HAD YOU HOOKED — Some writers can cram more greatness into less words than a 100k monster. What’s the one-shot that did it for you?
5 Times Peter Needed His Dad by Teaandtumblr
5 Times Peter Sleepwalked And The 1 Time He Pretended He Did by Losingmymindtonight
A Different Kind Of Surprise by Winterturtle
A Foreign Feeling by Imgoingtocrash & Savvysass
A Little Gray Area (Where I Can Keep You Safe) by Divineprojectzero
A Lot Can Happen In Approximately Two Years by Soverysesual
Ace Of Hearts by A_Matter_Of_Loyalty
Adventures In Babysitting by Victori
And If You Need A Friend, Then Please Just Say The Word by Frostysunflowers
Blessed Be The Boys Time Can’t Capture by Killerqueenwrites
Born Anew From Dust And Blood by Superherotiger
But I'm Stuck (On Cold Weather) by Parkstark
by Any Other Name by Emily_F6
Countless Ways To Say I Love You by Hopeless_Hope
Different Doesn’t Mean Wrong by Dorthea
Disappearing Bruises by Happyjuicyfruit
Everything I Wanna Say About You Is More Than Enough To Write A Novel by Magnetichearts
Familiar Faces by Happyaspie
First Wednesday Of March by Crowkag
Fitting In (Tiny Spaces) by Aloneintherain
For Good by Madelinedear
Give Hime The Life, That I Couldn’t Give You by Superherotiger
Guess How Much I Love You by Jack_Hunter
Hear You Me by Starryknight09
How To: Art by Aijato
I Can Hold The Weight Of Worlds (If That's What You Need) by Bluesweatshirt
I Did It All For You (So I Can’t Lose You Now) by Another_Introvert
I Didn’t Ask To Be In This Family by Webtrinsic
I Have A Nephew! by Zimnokurw
I Just Wanted To Protect You by Sunflowerspideyy
I Promise I'll Do Better by 221broadwayiron
I Promise You Kid, You're Safe Now by Bstarship
I Will Soften Every Edge by Losingmymindtonight
In My Heart There Was A Kind Of Fighting by Iron_Spider
It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year by Freyaatterton
Keeping Watch by Oreoluvr13
Let Sleeping Heroes Lie by Attackonomelas
Monkey See, Monkey Don't Do by Pokeydotes
Move Back Home Forever by Chasingflower
New Dream by Writerllofllworlds
Of Flying And Falling by Polaroid15,
Parallels by Kianisabitch
Peter-Man - Oh, F*Ck - I Mean Spider-Man. by Orphan_Account
Peter's Ghost And One (1) Obnoxious Orange Stone by Bean_Reads_Fanic
Petey And The Hermit by Eccentric_Artist_221b
Physics Class by Fictionalworldsareexquisite
Place In Your Heart by Potrix
Quantum Mechanics 5010 by Pipgraham
Quaranteens by Blueh
Retrograde by Madasthesea
Someone To Want Me by Fritokays
Something Here Will Eventually Have To Explode by Madasthesea
That's Not How You Act by Opal_Earrings
The Case Of The Missing Museum Bea-Storer by Ironmum
The Lightning Strike by Covo728
The Little Things by Crowkag
The Primary Reason Tony Stark Would Throw Down With An Anti-Vaxxer In The Street by Caraminha
The World Is Not Kind by Trickster88
There’s A Fine, Fine Line by Faerialchemist
Til The Fight Is Done by Jinxquickfoot
To Be Like You by Polaroid15
Turn Back The Clock (And I’ll Try Again In The Morning) by Madasthesea
Unauthorized Field Trip by Duskblue
Voices Carry by Ferretshark
Waste Not, Want Not by by Mttraspberrypie
What Do I Look Like To You, A Clearance Rack? by Peterstank
What You're Feeling Is Probably Normal by Finny3120
Who Saves The Hero by Camelotqueen
You Got Lost While Getting Older by Kuragay
You'll Always Get There First by Crowkag
4. THE BEST THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGES — A drabble (under 1k) can pack in all the goodness that you need in a coffee break read. What’s that story for you?
A Scene In Space by An_Odd_Idea
Adopted Cuddles by Madasthesea
Asthmatic Spider by by Inkinmyheartandonthepage
Buttering Me Up by Iron_Spider
Can’t Breathe (Unless You Are Here To Help Me) by Kyu_Writes
Carry Me by by Shitforbrains
Clint II by Captainstarspangled
Cramps by Thisrosehasanothername
Cuddle Bug by Marvelous_Writer
Dressing Up As A Hero by Madam_Sunflower
F.R.I.D.A.Y, When Did I Get A Son by iwritesometimes (Orphan_Account)
Food At Home by Aimaim94
Home Is Where The Heart Is by Wentrinsic
I Don’t Want To Rule My Own Country, I Just Want To Pass 10th Grade by by Andromath
I Feel A Filth In My Bones (Wash Off My Hands Til It's Gone) by Madasthesea
Insomniacs In The Dark by Littlemissagrifina
Irondad Cuddles by Lilacsoulw
Let The Mind Games Begin by Ironmum
Nice To Meet You, Peter by Loubuttons
Nothing Like A Fresh Cup Of Humiliation In The Morning by Madasthesea
Of Christmas Lights And Car Chases by Marvelous_Writer
Of Masks And Memories. by Littlemissagrafina
Outsider by Pinkeastereggs
Patterns by Nokurde
Place In Your Heart bypotrix
Quentin Knows Best by Undercover_Royalty
S.O.S. (Somehow Obtained Son) by Madasthesea
Safety Net by Baloobird
Sleeping At Last by Webtrinsic
Spider Cooties by The_Forgotten_Nobody
The Dangers Of Sleeping On The Upside Of The Bed by by Honorable_Mention
The One Where Peter Gets A Group Hug by Icylightning
The One Where Peter Loves John Mulaney by Subarucrosstrekxv
You’re Always My Kid by Cyn_Writes
5. THE BIODAD THAT TOUCHED YOUR HEART — Some of the greatest stories flip canon and make Tony Peter’s biological father. Be it baby Peter taking his first steps or Tony dealing with the fact his son is following in his superhero footsteps as Spider-Man, which is the one you loved most of all?
A Gift Of Blood by Theeclecticsoul
An Abstract Concept by Iron-Spider
Be Careful What You Wish For, You May Just Get It by Savana_Marlark
Blood And Iron by Aliciamirza
Built From Scraps by Peter Stank
Coming Home by by Inkinmyheartandonthepage
Congratulations, It's A Boy by Capiocapi
Happy Birthday - And Merry Christmas by Thequeenofwhump
Happy Hogan Never Forgets A Face by Jen27ny
Hardest Lessons (Softest Results) by Mainstreamelectricalparade
Hydra’s Not A Home (Series) by Tempestaurora
I Hold You Closer Than I Ever Knew I Could Do by Yourgaydad
I Love You More Than Anything by Iron_Spider
I Told You To Be Better(And You Became The Best) by Haru_K
If They Knew All About You by Mshermia
Let Me Pave The Path Until You Come Back (Series) by Elliahrose
Little Demons Like To Play by Raccooncati
Made Of Iron Born Of Fire (Series) by Savvysass & Imgoingtocrash
Made With Love by Madasthesea
Move Back Home Forever by Chasingflower
My Little Bambino by Maicaly
Premature Love by by Seeingthoughtsthroughwords
Pretty Maids All In A Row by Finny3120
Promotions Aren't Always A Good Thing by Agib
Rest Your Head Close To My Heart, Never To Part (Baby Of Mine) by 14million_Constellations
Return To Me, The One I Love So Endlessly by Superherotiger
Slow Down, Start Again From The Beginning by Cassiecasyl
So Many Things Left To Say (Series) by Sarcasmismyweapon
Sometimes Goodbye Is A Second Chance by Ardenskyeholmes221
Sound Logic by Aytheria
Spiderson by Emily_F6
Stars, Hide Your Fires by Yellowdistress.
The Circle Of Life by Lansfics7
The Gift by Uskblue
The Less Than Secret Life by Yellowdistress
The One Where Peter Is Related To Tony by Marvel_Cinematic_Universe_Fan
The Ties That Bind Us by Winterturtle
They Say Boys Don't Cry (But Your Dad Has Shed A Lot Of Tears) by Tempestaurora
Tomorrow And Tomorrow by Yellowdistress
Tony Stark Vs. Babies "R" Us by Mainstreamelectricalparade
Twist Of Fate by Karenninaaa
What We Are (Series) by Yellowdistress
What’s In A Name? by Geekymoviemom
You Are My Sunshine by Iamconstantine
6. THE ONE WITH THE FIELD TRIP — The field trip trope is one of the most popular in the fandom. What’s the story that you think pulls all the elements together to make it great?
A Different Take by Cyberwolfwrites
Academic Commitment by Underoosstark
Air Force by Pomegranateboy
Bullies, Interns, And Secret Things by Thecuriousclockwork
Constant Internal [Spider] Screaming: Semi-Connected Scenes From A Graduating Senior’s Life by Isadancurtisproduction
Everyday Superhero by Stoneage_Woman
Field Trip by Inkinmyheartandonthepage
Field Trip Flip by Happyaspie
Field Trip To Home, Joy by Every_Fandom_Trash
From Your Perspective, The World Is Flat by Blueh
I Don’t Want To Talk About It Anymore by Bees_And_Wasps
I. Am. Spider-Man by Lisa_Yo
It's Above My Clearance Level by Tsk
Living With Superheros? Not Cool by Groot_Is_God
Mr Stark Enough For You? (Another Field Trip Fic Bcs We Dont Have Enough) by Livinei
Ned Leeds And The Best Field Trip Ever by Aripotter
Neon Liar (Hiding In Plain Sight) by Isadancurtisproduction
No Reason To Go by Pokegeek151
One Fall Weekend by Marvelous_Writer
Open For All by Jointexisting
Patterns by Nokurde
Perhaps He's Not Missing Out After All by Notyocheese
Peter And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Field Trip by by Cazei
Peter-Man - Oh, F*Ck - I Mean Spider-Man by Orphan_Account
Peter's Disastrous Field Trip by Superfamilyfan
The Field Trip: Tony And Peter Reunion Edition. by Moreofareaderthanawriter
The Worthiness Of A Spider by Inkinmyheartandonthepage
Top Ten Anime Betrayals by Kernsing
Tower Of Donuts And Doubts by Platinumdollz
Who Is He? by Velarisstars
You're What? by Shewritesall
7. THE TIME AFTER TIME ONE — There’s some great time travel stories out there, but which is your favorite?
Be Careful What You Wish For, You May Just Get It by Savana_Marlark
Breathe, Then Repeat by by Thesecretuchiha
Don’t Look Back by Rowan_M
Every Beautiful Lie (Always Has An Ugly Truth) by Da_Moose
Hero by Lady_Oneder
I Have Time by Peterparkr
I’ve Learned To Lose You by Peterparkr
It’s Me, Remember? by Nanixerka
Like You'd Know How It Works by Mshermia
Oh, Take Me Back To The Start by Theregularwriter
Peter And Morgan's 40-Year-Long-Day by Thismarvelouslife
The End Is Just A New Beginning by Tytach
The Other Mr. Stark byjelly_Pies
The Rules Of Time Travel Do Not Apply To Peter Parker by Baby_Spidey
The Time Traveler’s Mentor by Iamirondad
Time To Pretend by Rowan_M
Time Will Tell by by Tonystarkissist
Turn Back The Clock (And I'll Try Again In The Morning) by Madasthesea
We Will Foresee Obstacles by Blackwatchandromeda (Avenris)
Whatever It Takes by Starryknight09
8. THE ONE WITH ALL THE OWIES — Another massively popular Irondad trope is hurt/comfort, and there’s some amazing stuff out there. Which is the one that you love most of all?
A Beautiful Lie by Rayrox360
A Day Off by Icylightning
A Difference In Husbandry by Happy_Cloud
A Different Take by Cyberwolfwrites
A Peter Parker Problem by Spagbol99
A Scare In The Stark Household by Marvelous_Writer
Air I Breathe by Heartofcathedrals
Apartment 43B by Ironfamjam
Atlas by Polaroid15
Be Weak by Fluencca
Before, After, And Beyond by Mainstreamelectricalparade
Broken by My Own Hand (Put Back Together by Yours) by Gwenoakley
Built From Scraps by Peterstank
But What Is Grief? by Odd_1
Casualty Of War by Wolfypuppypiles
Caught In A Lie by Krystalpomme
Contentiously Ambiable by Ktoon
Control by Wolfypuppypiles
Cycle Through by Ambivalentangst
Danger Pizza by Alice_In_Ink
Darkness Will Be Rewritten by Marveal
Didn’t Ask To Be In This Family by Webtrinsic
Dude, Do These Tacos Taste Funny To You? by First_Page
Faulty Lines Of Communication by Deancasdrodracohar
Five Times Peter Said "Sorry" To Tony Stark by Agentnerd
Follow The North Star Home by Fallingforbees
Foolish, Fragile Spine by Plnkblue
For Want Of A Dad (In Need Of A Son) by Ghostinthebau
Funeral by Mjscorner
Hammering Out The Dents by Webtrinsic
Held On As Tightly As You Held On To Me by Itsreallylaterightnow & Killerqueenwrites
If They Knew All About You by Mshermia
Lazarus, Come Forth by by Iron_Spider
Let Me Hold You Close, Until You Forget How Cruel The World Is by Maicaly
Lost Boy by Dorthea
Mercy by Wolfypuppypiles
More Peril In Thine Eye by Iron—Spider
Mr. Misunderstood by Parkrstark
Of Flying And Falling by Polaroid15
One In A Million by Inkinmyheartandonthepage
Outnumbered by Heartofcathedrals
Peaches by Peterparkr
Peppermint Allergy by Carpediem369
Peter's Ghost And One (1) Obnoxious Orange Stone by Bean_Reads_Fanic
Popsicle Protocol by Marvelousbutterfly & Thisisnotourlasthunt
Project Pride by Thesleepingowl
Seeing Without Sound by Astronomical_Alien
Shelter by Unluckyolive
Skewed Perspective by Itsallavengers
Sometimes It’s Easier To Just Swim Down by Mjscorner
Stab Me In The Back (I'll Catch You From Behind) by Lansfics7
Statistically Speaking by Foolscapper
Stop, Look, Listen by Forthenightisdarkandfullofterror
Stuck by Jelly-Pies
Tell Me What To Do by Krystalpomme
The Adventures Of Spidy-Son And Iron-Dad (Series) by Eva7673
The Darkest Hour Is Just Before The Dawn by Starryknight09
The Little Things by Crowkag
The Past Is Knocking On My Door by by Maicaly
The Room Where It Happens by Notapartytrick
The Third Option by Uncertainty_Principle
The World Is Not Kind by Trickster88
Thirteen Minutes by Solstice
To Build A Home by Ashleyparker2815
To Save A Life by Starryknight09
Too Much by Peterstark
Wandering Child (So Lost, So Helpless) by Almond_Blossoms
We All Chase After A Few Dying Stars by Losingmymindtonight
Weak Spot by Grilledcheesing
Weapons Never Weep by Mcsquishee
What I Have, I Give To You by: by Aatticsaltt
What If There Is No Tomorrow? by Iron_Spider
When My Body Won't Hold Me Anymore (Where Will I Go) by Madasthesea
You Better Watch Out by Ciaconnaa
You Got Lost While Getting Older by Kuragay
You’ll Always Get There First by Crowkag
Your Heart Changed (Mine Stayed The Same) by Loisselina (Loisselina)
Your Injuries Belong To Me by Duskblue
9. THE ONE THAT HURTS SO GOOD — We all like a bit of angst sometimes, so what’s the story that you wanted to hide from but you had to keep reading to get to the happy ending?
... And When You Can’t Crawl ... by Jolinarjackson & Shoyzzart
5 Times Tony Forgot Peter Was Just A Kid by Parkrstark
A Beautiful Lie by Rayrox360
A Difference In Husbandry by Happy_Cloud
A Peter Parker Problem by Spagbol99
Between How It Is And How It Should Be by Frostysunflowers
Built From Scraps by Peterstank
Can't Part The Sea, Can't Reach The Shore by Forensicleaf
Caught In A Lie by Krystalpomme
Cycle Through by Ambivalentangst
Dear God by Krystalpomme
Don't Worry About Me by Chvotic
Ever In Your Favor by Iron_Spider
Fifteen Years In The Making by Potts89
Goodbye Mr. Stark, Thanks For Trying by Jelly-Pies
Held On As Tightly As You Held On To Me by Itsreallylaterightnow & Killerqueenwrites
I Do Listen To You by Icylightning
I Need You (To Be Free) by Marveal
I Promise I'll Do Better by 221broadwayiron
I Promise You, I Literally Pledge by Iron_Spider
I Want Go by Chvotic
I Will Carry You (Always) by Thestarvingwriter
Identity Theft by Kitcat992
If They Knew All About You by Mshermia
If You Can't Catch A Breath (You Can Take The Oxygen Straight Out Of My Own Chest) by Losingmymindtonight
If You Listen You Can Hear The Ibis by Yellowdistress
Inevitable by Annie_Walker
Its Always The Little Things by Uncertainty_Principle
Jealous? by Chvotic
Let's Get On With Living (While We Can) by Almond_Blossoms
Love Leaves A Memory No-One Can Steal by Ironmum
May Parker's Complete Guide On How To Raise Your Spiderling by Embarrassing_Myself
More Peril In Thine Eye by Iron_Spider
Not So Friendly by Ramble_On
Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) by Myglassesaredirty
Of Drizzly Skies And Saltwater Taffy by Eccentric_Artist_221b
Of Flying And Falling by Polaroid15
Peter's Ghost And One (1) Obnoxious Orange Stone by The-Reverse-Mermaid
Please, Understand by Jipseebree
Protect by Watermeloness
Reviving Peter Parker by Yellowdistress
Stab Me In The Back (I'll Catch You From Behind) by Lansfics7
Standing On My Own Two Feet by Minigigi
Stop, Look, Listen by Forthenightisdarkandfullofterror
Stuck by Jelly-Pies
Sunlight by Ardenskyeholmes221
The Art Of Losing by Fluencca
The Darkest Hour Is Just Before The Dawn by Starryknight09
The Missing 92 Days by Yellowdistress
The Room Where It Happens by Notapartytrick
The Third Option by Uncertainty_Principle
The World Is Wide (But I Feel So Small) by Buckets_Of_Stars
Thunder And Attrition by Magniloquentchanteuse
To Fall (And Get Back Up) by J_J_Underscore
Turn Back The Clock (And I’ll Try Again In The Morning) by Madasthesea
We Forgot To Tell Peter by Inkinmyheartandonthepage
We Will Find Our Way Through The Dark by Ashleyparker2815
What You Were Then I Am Today (Series) by Madasthesea
When My Body Won't Hold Me Anymore (Where Will I Go) by Madasthesea
When Trauma Comes Knocking by Kevy_Grayce
10. THE ONE THAT SOOTHES THE PAIN — What’s The Story That You Go To When You Need A Pick-Me-Up After The Angst?
5 Times A Spider-Baby Got Dad Smooched by Buckets_Of_Stars
5 Times Peter Made Tony Laugh Out Loud by Grilledcheesing
5 Times Tony Calls Peter Baby by Madasthesea
5 Times Tony Stark Protected Penny Parker by Emily_F6
A Numb Road Forward by Whimsicalethnographies
A Stark Is Born by PS_Nothanks
All Good Things Come In Threes by Bergen
Be Careful What You Wish For, You May Just Get It by Savana_Marlark
Bedside Stories by Wildwaveswhist
Bitch Better Have My Money by Neicy286
Career Day: A Short Story by Shewritesall
Congratulations, It's A Boy Capiocapi
Cuddle Bug by Marvelous_Writer
Early Childhood Education by Thedisneyoutsider
Every Time by Aimaim94
Five Times Peter And Tony Chaotically Cleaned by Ironmum
For Want Of A Dad (In Need Of A Son) by Ghostinthebau
Ghost Of Christmas Past by by Ciaconnaa
Hardest Lessons (Softest Results) by Mainstreamelectricalparade
Him Before You by Icylightning
I Can Hold The Weight Of The Worlds (If That's What You Need) by Bluesweatshirt
Instant Kill Mode by Isnt_It_Pretty_To_Think_So
It’s Quiet Uptown by Sdottkrames
Keeping Watch by Oreoluvr13
Kids These Days by Isnt_It_Pretty_To_Think_So
Leave Me Where I Am (I'm Only Sleeping) by Hopeless_Hope
Let Me Tell You The Truth (I Can't Hide From You) by Lovesfrogs
Macho Macho Man by Iron_Spider
My Boy by Thisisnotourlasthunt
No More Lonely by Shewritesall
Nobody Understands Us And I Don't Understand It by Searchingforstars
Peter Revs His Engine by Punkybunny
Peter-Man - Oh, F*Ck - I Mean Spider-Man. by Orphan-Account
Petey And The Hermit by Eccentric_Artist_221b
Pick A Place To Lay Your Head by Bluesweatshirt
Proof Spider-Man Loves Clickbait by Mauvera
Research And Disaster by Blueh
Sensitive by Nhasablog
Storm by Parkerxheart
Superheroes Get Scared, Too by Little_But_Mighty
That's How You And I Will Be by Frostysunflowers
The Little Things by Crowkag
The Reinvention Of Tony Stark by Losingmymindtonight
The Road So Far by Nicolemoon8
The Sun's Starting To Rise (These Are Beautiful Times by Jelly-Pies
Titan's Lullaby by Starstepper
Too Pure For Your Own Good by An_Odd_Idea
Trapped In The Elevator by Riseuplikeglitterandgold & Mainstreamelectricalparade
What You're Feeling Is Probably Normal by Finny3120
Whatever It Takes by Starryknight90
Where You Never Would Have Looked by Jwriter819
With Great Care by Giggles96
You And Me Lying On The Tile Floor (Trying To Keep Cool) by Madasthesea
11. THE ONE WITHOUT A HOME TO GO TO — There’s some wonderful homeless Peter stories out there, so which is the one you were blown away by?
A Difference In Husbandry by Happy_Cloud
After The Landslide by Freyaatterton
Distracted by A Dime by Happyaspie
Home Is Where The Arc Is by Peer_Parker
Hope Is The Strongest Power by Sarayin
I Told You I Had Issues by Bergen
I’m Lost (I Feel So Very Found) by Cold_Nights_Summer_Days
In The End by Annie_Walker
Is It Too Much To Ask For Home That Lasts? Ft. Peter Parker by Wakandaforever2357
Living With Superheroes? Not Cool by Groot_Is_God
Make Way For Tomorrow by Hopeless_Hope
One Step Unto The Lonely Road (Has Scarred Me For Life) by Hopeless_Hope
Paradise by Last_Of_Her_Kind
Reintroducing Hope by Fernandidilly_Yo
Taking Leaps (And The Falls That Come With Them) by Kamomile_Tea
The Art Of Publicity by Xmypandabear
The Little Things (That I Miss) by Da_Moose
The Lost And Forgotten by Litcraz
The Third Option by Uncertainty_Principle
Thunder And Attrition by Magniloquentchanteuse
To Find A Home (Series) by Aceofstars16
To Have A Home by Doctorineandthreequarters
Unexpected (Everything I Never Knew I Wanted) by Moonchild2593
Unexpected Finds by Snarkymuch
Unwanted by Agib
12. THE ONE THAT’S A WHOLE NEW WORLD — There’s lots of imaginative AUs in Irondad fic. Whether it’s Steve and Tony as baseball players or Pepper being Peter’s mom, which one is your number one?
A Beautiful Lie by Rayrox360
A Guardian Among Us by Superherotiger
A Just An Honorable Hand by Friendlyneighborhoodirondad
A Little Monument Of Stones by Yellowdistress
A Long Way Forward by Rxcrcfllptrs
A Soul's Best Friend by Superherotiger
A Whole New World by Icylightning
Ain't My Blood; Still My Boys by Parkrstark
And The Band Played On by Bobee
Archetype by Bean_Reads_Fanfic
Blood On My Hands (Beast In My Heart) by Baloobird & Buckets_Of_Stars
Bouquet by Canonismybitch
Can’t Erase What I Wrote In Ink (Tell Me How Can I Change The Story) by Littlemissagrafina
Caring accommodations by Punyparker
Dear Fellow Traveler (Series) by Superherotiger
Engine 12 by Bethy_277
Ever In Your Favor by Iron_Spider
Have Patience, A Quick Wit, And A Gentle Heart by Ironfamjam
Hydra’s Not A Home (Series) by Tempestaurora
I Battle My Jerk Step-Dad by Andromath
I Will Carry You (Always) by Thestarvingwriter
In A Galaxy Far, Far Away (Series) by Madasthesea
It’s A New Life But Always The Same Love by Wisterispidey
Like Smoke by Adoraberry
Moulded Mind by Wingswithoutstrings
My Friends Are Ghosts by Firecracker121
Never Tear Us Apart by Imeanthatsprettysnazzy
No Matter What (You Keep Finding Something To Fight For) by Rejectedmarvel
No Matter Where You Are, I'll Be There For You by X_Writingn_X
Nothing Left To Lose by Notapartytrick
Oh, Bite Me by Nanixerka
Once Upon A Reality by Bean_Reads_Fanfic
Only For A Little While by Eccentric_Artist_221b
Petey And The Hermit by Eccentric_Artist_221b
Pilot by Cold_Nights_Summer_Days
Quantum Mechanics 5010 by Pipgraham
Return To Me, The One I Love So Endlessly by Superherotiger
Riding The Waves by Jwriter819
Sea Spider by Bean_Reads_Fanfic
Spidey Tot by Kevy_Grayce
The Boy Who Would Be King by Writerreadsstuff
The Day Peter’s Name Finished With Stark by Skyrocket25
The Phoenix Project by Geekymoviemom
The Princess Initiative by Sdottkrames
The Will Of The Force by Madasthesea
Though Everything Is A Miracle by Overtures
To Continue Being by Censored
Tony Built A Son (Series) by Footloose_Poets
Triple Axel, Triple Loop by Jointexisting
Until It Disappeared From Me by Ashleyparker2815
Unto The Breach by Melissabosquez
What I See In You I Hope You Find In Me by Frostysunflowers
What If We Never Were? by Ladylangst
What Occurred In Raychester Castle by Fictionart
What We Grow To Be by Killerqueenwrites
When I Am On Your Shoulders by Ladyblackwater
Where Life Begins And Love Never Ends by Kitkatwinchester
Why Can’t The Past Just Die? by Enchantingwriting
Written In Blue by Erica45 & Snarkymuch
You Got Lost While Getting Older by Kuragay
You Mispronounced Spider by Lliblo
13. THE TWEAKING THE SETTINGS ONE — There’s things we all wish we could change in canon — *cough* Endgame *cough* — so which canon divergence does it for you?
5 Times Peter Made Tony Laugh Out Loud by Grilledcheesing
Be Careful What You Wish For, You May Just Get It by Savana_Marlark
Beautiful Boy by Emily_Davison
Before, After, And Beyond by Mainstreamelectricalparade
Bittersweet by Kevy_Grayce
Breathe Again by Gwenoakley
Built From Scraps by Peterstank
Dear Mr. Fantasy by Iron_Spider
Every Breath Of Me by Doctornineandthreequarters
Exploding Head Syndrome by Foolscapper
Found Family by Thedisneyoutsider
Home by Patrochilles_Trash
I Did It All For You (So I Can’t Lose You Now) by Another_Introvert
I Will Restore All That Was Broken by Killerqueenwrites
I’ll Make This Feel Like Home by Ashleyparker2815
Idiot Billionaire Superhero Father by Killerqueenwrites
Invulnerable by Imgoingtocrash
Keeping Watch by Oreoluvr13
Like You'd Know How It Works by Mshermia
Living Proof by Arwenkenobi
M&M Paradise (Series) by Galaxythreads
May Parker's Complete Guide On How To Raise Your Spiderling by Embarrassing_Myself
Moulded Minds by Wingswithstrings
One In A Million by Inkinmyheartandonthepage
One Thing I’ll Never Know (Is How You Could Be A Ghost) by Gwenoakley
Peter-Man - Oh, F*Ck - I Mean Spider-Man by Orphan-Account
Peter's Ghost And One (1) Obnoxious Orange Stone by Bean_Reads_Fanfic
Pieces Of Echoes by Geekymoviemom
Stop, Look, Listen by Forthenightisdarkandfullofterror
The Battle by Oblossom
The Burning In My Bones by Happyjuicyfruit
The Crack In My Voice by Happyjuicyfruit
The End Of Infinity by Friendlyneighborhoodfangirls
The More You Say, The Less I Know by Forthenightisdarkandfullofterror
The Rattle Of Their Hearts by Iron_Spider
The Returned by Nicolemoon8
The Thrill Of Hope by Chasingflower
Titan's Lullaby by Starstepper
Up Came The Sun (Series) by Whimsicalethnographies
We Got Lucky by The_Muses_Summer_House
We Will Foresee Obstacles by Blackwatchandromeda (Avenris)
What If: Peter Had Been Injured In The Ferry Scene by Wolf5bane
What Makes A Family by Doctornineandthreequarters
What Was Missing Was You by Happyaspie
What Were The Words I Meant To Say Before You Left by Madasthesea
Whatever It Takes by Starryknight09
When Peter Forgot What Day It Was by Goldenambedo
When You Wake by Katierosefun
Where He Belongs by Asherkoyal
14. THE ONE YOU GO BACK TO AGAIN AND AGAIN — Some fics deserve a re-read or ten. What’s the story you go find yourself going back to?
5 Times Peter Fell, And Tony Caught Him. And The 1 Time Tony Didn’t by Eva7673
A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood by Ambivalentangst
A Difference In Husbandry by Happy_Cloud
A Guardian Among Us by Superherotiger
A Parent Apparent by Happyaspie
Age Regression Was Impossible... Right? by Chvotic
All The Devils Are Here by Yellowdistress
Am I Just A Shadow You Drew by Ironxprince
Apartment 43B by Ironfamjam
Archetype by Bean_Reads_Fanfic,
Baby's Firsts by Mainstreamelectricalparade
Back To Bed by Eccentric_Artist_221b
Beautiful Boy by Emily_Davison
Built From Scraps by Peterstank
Child’s Play by Spicyjarvis
Coming Home by Inkinmyheartandonthepage
Constant Internal [Spider] Screaming: Semi-Connected Scenes From A Graduating Senior’s Life by Isadancurtisproduction
Dreams Don’t Scare You (They Ain’t Big Enough) by Jumpfall
Ever In Your Favor by Iron—Spider
Family Is More Than Blood (It Is Light) by Moonchild2593
For Want Of A Dad (In Need Of A Son) by Ghostinthebau
Ghost Of Christmas Past by Ciaconnaa
Golden Boy by Sticksandinfinitystones
I Just Wanted To Protect You by Sunflowerspideyy
If They Knew All About You by Mshermia
I'm At One by Patrochilles_Trash
Into A White And Soundless Place by Weatheredlaw
Kangaroo Care by Tonystarkissist
Keeping Watch by Oreoluvr13
Lean On Me by Parkerxheart
Let This Moment Be The First Chapter by Ephemeralstark
Moulded Minds by Wingswithoutstrings
Move Back Home Forever by Chasingflower
Mr. Misunderstood by Parkrstark
Mutants by Sameuspegasus
My Boy by Thisisnotourlasthunt
Never Gonna Let You Down by Emily_F6
Patient #2252 by Thesoulofstrawberry
Peter-Man - Oh, F*Ck - I Mean Spider-Man. by Orphan-Account
Play by Losingmymindtonight
Project Pride by Thesleepingowl
Reviving A Spiderling by Eccentric_Artist_221b
Rules Are Made To Be Broken by Ironmum
Sins Of The Fathers by Geekymoviemom
Spider-Man: Avengers (And Midtown High) React by Gayplums
Stay With Me by Princelesstrashpanda
Superheroes Get Scared, Too by Little_But_Mighty
The Closest Thing He's Got by Grilledcheesing
The Darkest Hour Is Just Before The Dawn by Starryknight09
The Lost And Forgotten by Litcraz
The One Where Peter Gets A Group Hug by Icylightning
The One Where Peter Is Bucky’s Weakness by Jinxquickfoot
The Rise And Fall Of A Spider by Spidersoning
The Spider-Man Conspiracy by Tempestaurora
The Stars The Moon They Have All Been Blown Out (You Left Me In The Dark) by Madasthesea
The Third Option by Uncertainty_Principle
The World Is Not Kind by Trickster88
Things I Almost Remember by Icedaquarius
Tomorrow Is Another Day (Series) by Frostysunflowers
Trust Issues by Kianisabitch
Webcams And Webshooters (Series) by Losingmymindtonight
What You Were Then I Am Today (Series) by Madasthesea
When You Assume Wrong by Tentativetreason
With Great Care by Giggles96
You're Killing Me Smalls by Phoenixhp5
15. THE SERIES THAT SWEPT YOU AWAY — Some of us love to go on a long ride with a series, so which is the world of multiple stories that you binged or waited anxiously for each update?
A Hero's Journey by Annie_Walke
Another June Day by Skeeter_110
Autistic Peter Parker by Marvelousbutterfly
Chaotic Peter Parker by Isnt_It_Pretty_To_Think_So
Dear Peter Parker, What To Say To You by Littlemissagrafina
Family Business- Supernatural Au by Killerqueenwrites
Home by Glwilliams97
Hydra’s Not A Home by Tempestaurora
I Kill Peter Parker Once A Month Of 2021 by Dorthea
I Love You More Than Anything (Bio Dad Au) by Iron_Spider
Identity Saga by Kitcat992
In A Galaxy Far, Far Away by Madasthesea
Irondad NSAP by Chvotic
Kindred Spirits by Superherotiger
Learning To Parent by Bowtiez
Lights To Guide You Home by Jolinarjackson
Like You'd Know How It Works And What Comes After by Mshermia
Made Of Iron, Born Of Fire by Imgoingtocrash & Savvysass
Movie Aus by Imeanthatsprettysnazzy
Mr. Stark & His Kid by Writerstrash
Nice Work, Kid by Madasthesea
Once Upon An Adoption by Kevy_Grayce
Out Of Darkness by Starryknight09
Paint It Black Verse by Queen Of Crystallopia
Peter Parker: Future Hearts by Xseshatx
Pieces Of Echoes by Geekymoviemom
Single Parent Peter Parker by Prettymalfoy
Soul Stone Realm by Marvelmusicmystery
The New Normal by Baloobird
The Room Saga by Iamirondad
Tony Built A Son by Footloose_Poets
Tony Stark Is A Good Mentor by Happyaspie
Under Influence Writerstrash
Was That A Star Wars Reference, Dr. Stark? by Jen27ny
We Forgot Peter by Inkinmyheartandonthepage
Webcams And Webshooters by Losingmymindtonight
What Makes A Family by Doctornineandthreequarters
What You Were Then I Am Today by Madasthesea
Whumptober 2019 by Iron_Spider
16. THE IN-PROGRESS ADVENTURE — What’s the story that has you checking your email each day, hoping for an update?
(Un)Breakable by A_Matter_Of_Loyalty
A Beautiful Lie by Rayrox360
A Difference In Husbandry by Happy_Cloud
A Perfect Storm by Grilledcheesing
A Stark Contrast by Melodicrunes
Ain't My Blood; Still My Boys by Parkrstark
All The Stars Align by Ashleyparker2815
And The Band Played On by Bobee
Be Careful What You Wish For, You May Just Get It by Savana_Marlark
Beautiful Boy by Emily_Davison
Come Undone by Capiocapi
Contentiously Amiable by Ktoon
Dream In Colors Borrowed From The Sea by by Buckets_Of_Stars
Every Beautiful Lie (Always Has An Ugly Truth) by Da_Moose
Fifteen Years In The Making by Potts89
Fire With Fire by Agentianlegend
Found Family by Thedisneyoutsider
How Sharp by Uncertainty_Principle
How To Repair A Broken Heart by Influentialpineapple
If They Knew All About You by Mshermia
If You're Going Through Hell, Keep On Going by Baloobird
In Unlikely Places by Looneylizzie
Irondad And Spiderson (Series) by Inkinmyheartandonthepage
Is He Or Is He Not? by Omenthia_Arc
Lets Get On With Living (While We Can) by Almond_Blossoms
Lonely Generation by Prosperdemeter
Mr. Stark, Something Is Wrong by @Simping-For-Peggy
Not So Friendly by Ramble_On
Only Going Over Home by Eccentric_Artist_221b
Outnumbered by Heartofcathedrals
Permanence by Theexhaustedalchemist
Peter’s New Step-Brother by Bowtiez
Peter's Hitchhiking Guide To The Time Heist by Randomsketchez
Priorities by Jlmonroe1234
Return To Me, The One I Love So Endlessly by Superherotiger
Rewind by Losingmymindtonight
Ring Of Stones by An_Odd_Idea
Sleeping Through A Rogue Winter Storm by Pogokitten
Sound Logic by Aytheria
Spider-Man: Avengers (And Midtown High) React by Gayplums
Survivors Guilt by Ember_Darla And Marvel_Cinematic_Universe_Fan
Tech Of Nondestructive Yakking by Wabisabi
The Case Of The Missing Museum Bea-Storer by Ironmum
The Hero Of Our Own Story by Kingdomfaraway
The Many Adventures Of Iron Dad And Spider Son by Lbigreyhound13
This Warm Repair by Peterstank
Tune The Piano by Yellowdistress
Unforeseen Dangers by Starryknight09
Unto The Breach by Melissabosquez
Wanting To Be Better by Mz_Supermanfan
We Can't Have Faith For Everybody by Hale13
Webcams And Webshooters (Series) by Losingmymindtonight
What If We Never Were? by Ladylangst
What Occurred In Raychester Castle by Fictionart
What You Were Then I Am Today by Madasthesea
With Great Care by Giggles96
You Are My Sunshine by Iamconstantine
You Stay, I Go by Cinnamonrollstark
17. THE COMPLETE FIC THAT YOU CHERISH — Whether Or Not You’ve Got The Patience For An In-Progress Or Not, There’s A Wealth Of Complete Stories You Can Devour At Leisure Or All In One Coffee-Fuelled Binge. What’s Yours?
5 Times Peter Fell, And Tony Caught Him. And The 1 Time Tony Didn’t. by Eva7673
5 Wishes Peter Didn't Ask For And The 1 He Did by Alice_In_Ink
A Peter Parker Problem by Spagbol99
A Soul's Best Friend by Superherotiger
All Good Things Come In Threes by Bergen
Always Silent, Peter Darling by Lliblo
And You’ll Blow Us All Away by Losingmymingtonight
Because I Said So: Adventures In Parenting (With Commentary by Peter Parker) by Teamironmanforever
Come, My Darling, Homeward Bound by by Iamirondad
Coming Home by Inkinmyheartandonthepage
Darkness Will Be Rewritten by Marveal
Engine 12 by Bethy_277
Everybody's Fine by Fluencca
Everyday Superhero by Stoneage_Woman
Five Times David Didn't Understand What Was Going On With His Girlfriend's Nephew by Bumblie_Bee
Five Times Peter And Tony Chaotically Cleaned by Ironmum
Five Times Peter Was Tony’s Son And One Time Tony Was His Dad by Zojnks
Five Times Tony Stark Got To Be A Normal Dad by Captainstarsong
Good Publicity by Bergen
Heart Made Of Glass, My Mind Of Stone by Princessironspider
Hydra's Not A Home (Series) Bb Tempestaurora
I’m Here, Always by by Rosesandribbons
Identity Crisis by Kitcat992
Identity Theft by Kitcat992
If You’re Gonna Love Someone, Let It Be Me by Ianalystark & Scooter3scooter
Intern Spider by Emily_F6
Let In Light (At Christmas Time by Josywbu
Let Me Pave The Path Until You Come Back (Series) by Elliahrose
Man In A Can by Jinxquickfoot
On The Other Side Of The Door by Iron_Spider
One To Ten by Jolinarjackson
Only For A Little While by Eccentric_Artist_221b
Pupper Parker by Bean_Reads_Fanfic
Sins Of The Fathers by Geekymoviemom
Starlight, Star Bright by Mainstreamelectricalparade
Stars, Hide Your Fires by Yellowdistress
Stop, Look, Listen by Forthenightisdarkandfullofterror
The 5 Times Tony Stark Helped Peter Parker’s Reputation. (And The One Time Peter Helped His.) by Deductioniskey
The Darkest Hour Is Just Before The Dawn by Starryknight09
The Guardian by Emily_F6
The One Who Made It Out by Tiaylasglass
The Root Is Expectation by Yellowdistress
The Stars And The Moon They Have All Been Blown Out (You Have Left Me In The Dark) by Madasthesea
The Third Option by Uncertainty_Principle
Time Will Tell by Tonystarkissist
Too Pure For Your Own Good by An_Odd_Idea
We Are Family by Icylightning
What Do I Need? by Scooter3scooter
Your Heart Changed (Mine Stayed The Same) by Loisselina (Loisselina)
18. THE ONE THAT GAVE YOU ALL THE LOVE — We all love Irondad, but some stories come with bonus bonds that give us just as much. Do you have a Peter & Bucky, or a Peter & Steve working alongside which delivers all the found family goodness?
5 Times Happy Hogan Nearly Had A Heart Attack Because Of Peter Parker by Thespydersargon
Aiding And Abetting: A Peter Parker Saga by Floweryfran & Peterstank
Astronomy In Reverse by Pansley
Be Careful What You Wish For, You May Just Get It by Savana_Marlark
Between How It Is And How It Should Be by Frostysunflowers
Bits And Pieces by Killerqueenwrites
Brighten Up, Sunshine by Iron_Spider
Can You Hold Me by Ironpengu & Parkrstark
Flame On, Dream On by Marvelous_Writer
Give Him The Life, That I Couldn’t Give You by Superherotiger
I Have A Nephew! by Zimnokurw
It Must Be Nice (To Have Mrs. Potts On Your Side by Sdottkrames
It Takes A Village (To Make Sure You're Okay) by Baloobird
Keeping Watch by Oreoluvr13
Kingdom Come Undone by Killerqueenwrites
Let Me Pave The Path Until You Come Back (Series) by Elliahrose
Living With Superheros? Not Cool by Groot_Is_God
Love Changes One's Views by Elisaphoenix
May I Have This Dance? by Canonismybitch
More Peril In Thine Eye by Iron_Spider
Not by Blood by Dorthea
O Blessed Child (Series) by Orionlady
Parallels by Kianisabitch
Perfectly Parental by Bergen
Popsicle Protocol by Marvelousbutterfly & Thisisnotourlasthunt
Project: Get Bucky Barnes A Dog by Ruxian
Road Work Ahead by Toniwilder
Rules Are Made To Be Broken by Ironmum
Sea Of Expectations by Astro_Cat13
Something About This Kid by Eemolu
Stars In The City by Parkrstark
The Darkest Hour Is Just Before The Dawn by Starryknight09
The Definition Of Family by Queen (Ramble)
The Missing Lego Piece by Thedisneyoutsider
The Puzzle That Is Peter Parker by Neuropsyche
Thunder And Attrition by Magniloquentchanteuse
Timshel (Series) by Justanotherblond
Titles by Aimaim94
When In The Dark by Kevy_Grayce
Will You Be My Found Family? by Frostyqueen
Worst Summer Vacation by Mysterycyclone
19. THE PROLIFIC WRITER AWARD — Irondad has some amazingly prolific writers. Which are the ones you’ve subscribed to get at that fic-wonder goodness of 10 works or more?
14million_Constellations
Aimaim94
Aimaim94
Ashleyparker2815
Baloobird
Bean_Reads_Fanfic
Bergen
Bowtiez
Buckets_Of_Stars
Capstar98
Cold_Nights_Summer_Days
Doctornineandthreequarters
Duskblue
Eccentric_Artist_221b
Emily_Davison
Emily_F6
Fictionalworldsareexquisite
Floweryfran
Frostysunflowers
Grilledcheesing
Happyaspie
Hold_Our_Destiny
Iamalystark
Iamirondad
Icylightning
Imgoingtocrash
Inkinmyheartsandonthepage
Ironfamjam
Ironmum
Iron-Spider
Ironxprince
Isnt_It_Pretty_To_Think_So
Jelly_Pies
Jen27ny
Jolinarjackson
Joyful_Soul_Collector
Jwriter819
Killerqueenwritws
Kitkatwinchester
Littlemissagrafina
Losingmymindtonight
Madasthesea
Magicalyss
Maicaly
Mainstreamelectricalparade
Marvelous_Writer
Marvels_Blue_Phoenix
Mintstream
Motherkarizma
Mshermia
Myglassesaredirty
Nanixerka
O0citrusee0o
Parkrstark
Rosesandribbons
Sandyk
Scooter3scooter
Sdottkrames
Softdadironman
Starryknight09
Summerwolf
Superherotiger
Tempestaurora
Thedisneyoutsider
Thedumbestavenger
Turtle_Bean
Webtrinsic
Wisterispidey
Wolfypuppypiles
Xseshatx
Yellowdistress
20. THE NEWBIE — New writers are joining the fandom all the time. Who’s the newbie (posting for 12 months or less) that’s delivering the good stuff for you?
107thinfantry
Aijato
Anoddidea
Asherkoyal
Baymax_13
Bung
Canonismybitch
Carpediem369
Da_Moose
Dorthea
Eemolu
Emily_Davison
Fallingforbees
Forthenightisdarkandfullofterror
Freyaatterton
Fritokays
Frostyqueen
Imeanthatsprettysnazzy
Ironmum
Jinx_Frost
JinxQuickfoot
Just_Ppeachy
Kittybellestark
Krystalpomme
Lilacsoulw
Lost_lunar_wolf
Maicaly
Marvelousbutterfly
Mintstream
Omenthia_Arc
Patrochilles_Trash
Penny4yourThoughts
Peters
Peterspajamas
Polaroid15
Punkybunny
Revengewitch
Rosesandribbons
Silverdraconyx
Skiesbluetoday
Spagbol99
Sunflowerspideyy
Thedisneyoutsider
Theexhaustedalchemist
Theweirdpersonnextdoor
Thisisnotourlasthunt
Turtle_Bean
Winterturtle
Wolf5bane
21. THE OG — Who’s the writer that’s been around for a while (12 months or more) that keeps you captivated?
Aceofstars16
Aimaim94
Almond_Blossoms
Aloneintherain
Ashleyparker2815
Baloobird
Bean_Reads_Fanfic
Blueh
Bowtiez
Buckets_Of_Stars
Caraminha
Cold_Nights_Summer_Days
Doctornineandthreequarters
Duskblue
Eccentric_Artist_221b
Emily_F6
Evotter
Frostysunflowers
Geekymoviemom
Gremlinsr
Grilledcheesing
Happyaspie
Iamirondad
Imgoingtocrash
Inkinmyheartandonthepage
Iron_Spider
Ironfamjam
Isnt_It_Pretty_To_Think_So
Jelly_Pies
Jen27ny
Jolinarjackson
Karenninaaa
Kevy_Grayce
Killerqueenwrites
Little_But_Mighty
Losingmymindtonight
Madasthesea
Mainstreamelectricalparade
Marveal
Mshermia
Myglassesaredirty
Parkrstark
Rejectedmarvel
Scooter3scooter
Shoyzzart
Snarkymuch
Spooderboyandtincan
Starryknight09
Summerwolf
Superherotiger
Tempestaurora
Tonystarkissist
Trickster88
Webtrinsic
Wolfypuppypiles
Yellowdistress
22. THE WILD CARD STORY — The story that does (or doesn’t) fit into the above categories but you believe deserves the prize. Which one is that for you?
5 Times Peter Sleepwalked And The 1 Time He Pretended He Did by Losingmymindtonight
A Beautiful Lie by Rayrox360
A Different Kind Of Surprise by Winterturtle
A Fic Where Superior Iron Man Gets DECKED by Nanixerka
A Peter Parker Problem, by Spagbol99
Aliens Really Are Out To Get You Aren't They? by Some_Sort_Of_Trash
An Uncomfortable Issue by Summerartist
Bank Robber by Purplecat7
Born To Cherish by Ironfamjam
Camping Blues by Chvotic
Career Day by Superhusbands4ever (Potterwatch97)
Chickpea And Bleach Curry by S0lstice
Coming Home by Inkinmyheartandonthepage
Doing Good by Thestubb
Everyday Superhero by Stoneage_Woman
Father’s Day Troubles by Willienillieflys
Five Time Faculty Members Had To Call Peter's Emergency Contact + 1 Time He Shows Up Anyway by Kingdomfaraway
Five Times Tony And Peter Chaotically Cleaned by Ironmum
From Fraud To Father by Tonystarkissist
From Mr. Stark To Tony by 1minute
Glittering Green by Aimingarrows
Guess I’m Not Good Enough by Freyaatterton
I Can Hold The Weight Of Worlds (If That's What You Need) by Bluesweatshirt
I Exist In Two Places, Here And Where You Are by Mindshelter
I Will Soften Every Edge by Losingmymindtonight
I’m Not Telling Him. Period by Scooter3scooter
Iexist In Two Places, Here And Where You Are by Mindshelter
Inimitable by Ephemeralstark
Irondad NSAP (Series) by Chvotic
It's In The Job Description by Iron_Spider_Suit
Just A Normal Kid by Eye_Of_Purgatory
Kids Suck, But You're Great by Gymlily06
Long Gone | Marvel Au by Strangerlyparker
Nothing Wrong With Being Yourself by Kitkatwinchester
Play by Losingmymindtonight
Regards, Steve Rogers by Evotter
Research And Disaster by Blueh
Secret by Aimaim94
Somewhere Beyond The Sea by Andveryliterary_Theatricaltoo
Tall Skies by Black_Briar
Tech Of Non-Destructive Yakking by Wabisabi
The Case Of The Tyrannical Two by Ironfamjam
The Ghost Of Heroes by Enigmaris & Scarletnightfury
The Long Way Round by Undeerqueen
The Peter Parker Conspiracy by Tempestaurora
The Real Hero by Jilycslove
The Reinvention Of Tony Stark by Losingmymindtonight
The Right Call by Boleyn13
The Stark Family, by Tonystarkissist
Things That Make It Warm by Dredfulhapiness
This Ride Is A Wild One by Just_Ppeachy
Vouchsafe by Sagemb
We Are Family by Icylightning
What You're Feeling Is Probably Normal by Finny3120
Winterturtle by A Different Kind Of Suprise
Wrong Number Kid by Blackshadow030930
ART 1 — DIGITAL MEDIA - Who has those PhotoShop skills, who makes the best mood boards? We have some wonderful artists in the Irondad fandom, and we’re here to celebrate them. Who's your favorite artist?
@blackchessknight (Tumblr)
@broskepol (Tumblr)
@dakt37 (Tumblr)
@itsybitsyspiderling (Tumblr)
@kitcat992(Tumblr)
@monireh (Tumblr)
@spidey-art (Tumblr)
@steviesboy (Tumblr)
@superherotiger (Tumblr)
Ellarie.png (Instagram)
ART 2 — SKETCHES — Who has the skills with the original medium of art in sketches? Whose pencil can create the characters we love best?
@broskepol (Tumblr)
@dakt37 (Tumblr)
@dchanberry (Tumblr)
@monireh89 (Tumblr)
Ellarie.png (Instagram)
ART 3 — CARTOONS — Chibis, Manga, Anime, who can create the very best?
@akira-akatsuki (Tumblr)
@broskepol (Tumblr)
@maryo274 (Tumblr)
@mjscorner (Tumblr)
@yes-i-am-happyaspie (Tumblr)
Ellarie.png (Instagram)
Ironkrispies (Instagram)
ART 4 — FANVID — Some of the greatest creators are the ones that match the music to the mood, find the perfect scenes to make us laugh and cry. Who does that for you?
All My Life || Tony & Peter (Father/Son Au) By Akapotatogirl (YouTube)
Ellaire.Png (Instagram)
Emsxworld (YouTube)
Mblaqminoz (YouTube)
My Dad's A Hero To Me By Msmorganstark (YouTube)
Tony Stark & Peter Parker (Adoption Au) || Home By Andrea D (YouTube)
Tony Stark & Peter Parker | A Stark Family Au | Home By Ineffable Films (YouTube)
Tony Stark & Peter Parker | Ashes By Mythicalroyalty (YouTube)
You Are The Reason L Tony Stark & Peter Parker By Chocolala
ART 5 — BEST IRON FAMILY FANART — Who can create those feeling of Ironfam with their art? Who captures the characters we love in that iconic family.
@broskepol (Tumblr)
@moonestaly (Tumblr)
@peterokii (Tumblr)
@spidey_art (Tumblr)
@superherotiger (Tumblr)
Ellarie.png (Instagram)
ART 6 — MOST HEARTBREAKING FANART — Art can move us to tears. Who captures those moments and brings tears to your eyes?
@cottoncandyofterror (Tumblr)
@eccentric_artist_221b (Tumblr)
@spidey-art (Tumblr)
@superherotiger (Tumblr)
Artinggrace (Instagram)
Cozy Paint (Instagram)
Ellarie.png (Instagram)
ART 7 — BEST HURT/COMFORT — Who captures the pain of the moment best for you?
@broskepol (Tumblr)
@spidey-art (Tumblr)
@tonystarkissist (Tumblr)
I will always love you (no matter what...) by @monireh (Tumblr)
You Are The Reason by Chocolala (YouTube)
ART 8 — THE WILD CARD ART— The art that does (or doesn’t) fit into the above categories but you believe deserves the prize. Which one is that for you?
@cainternn (Tumblr)
@Iwritedumbshit (Tumblr)
@rhymewithrachel (Tumblr)
@superherotiger
Hannssm (Instagram)
#Irondad Creator Awards#irondad and spiderson#irondad#spider son#iron man#spider-man#tony stark#peter parker#art#fanart#writing#fanfic#fandom awards
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@travmsoldat // original
“A little one? No, no, of course it must be an even number. A pack of eight sounds like a fair deal to me, yes! Splendid,” he says, not at all picking up on Rapunzel’s stress. King Hubert is a good man, but goodness and insight are two very different things.
And just to rub salt on so fresh a wound, he waves the Lord Erluin and his wife over. They approach, sporting smiles that are hard to place on whether or not they were actually genuine.
“Your Majesty and… the Princess Rapunzel, is it? How nice of you to pay us a visit during such a happy tradition of ours. Your first volksfest with us I take it!”
“My dear, of course it must not be,” chimes Maria. “Her Highness does come by so very often, why, this must be her third—fourth! Perhaps fifth?”
“Friends already! Couldn’t have asked for a more marvelous turn of events. Now why don’t the lot of you make nice and I go off and search for some scrap of food—Haven’t eaten all day you know—”
—
Any proper Carolingian royal might have begun brandishing their titles now in a demand for respect, civility and subjugation. But not Phillip! Never Phillip. That whole speech would’ve certainly saved him from several thousand fights and scars, but maybe that’s why he’s never been for that type of thing, anyway. He did always love a good scrap.
Amused rather than annoyed, he blinks slow and softly, with an accommodating, quiet smile to match. His fingers recoil to rest once again on his heart.
“Where you are from, yes,” he says, and judging by a dialect he is now very well acquainted with, he can tell just where exactly that is. “Tell me, do you often visit foreign places to parade about the better practices of your country?” He pauses to let that idea slowly sear. “If that’s the case, might I suggest that travel might not be the hobby for you?”
His brows raise and he bites the inside of cheek. What is she prattling on about anyway? Didn’t he simply collide with a person and offer a kindness to make up for it? This stranger is just one shoulder tap away from insinuating that he implore her to sew a scarlet A upon her chest.
“Now let me assure you, my wife and I are confident enough in our bond that our merest interactions with the opposite sex doesn’t, in fact, send us spiraling into the depths of despair and jealousy. Where I come from,” he looks to all the frolic surrounding them, “we extend kindnesses and offers of friendship to more than the person whose ring matches ours. And not everything, yes even something as severe and full-of-stress as a dance, revolves around the pillar upon which that person stands. Awfully strange, I know.”
Eight? EIGHT? She must have heard that wrong. How could she raise eight kids and run a whole kingdom and empire? Just one sounded like a handful and if this child were to carry both her blood and Phillip’s she was sure whoever it was would be a beautiful, amazing, spectacular, handful. Even as adults the parents were troublesome. Imagine a tiny little tot with curly auburn locks and sun-kissed freckles possessing their father’s foolhardiness and her irrepressible tendencies. Now imagine EIGHT.
A hand comes to her chest and clutches the pretty gold necklace she’s worn since her first trip to this kingdom. The future is a long ways away. Just get through this announcement. Smile. Be nice. Don’t make yourself a target. Remember what they told you.
“Actually your husband won that wager. It is my first but I’m sure it won’t be my last.” The curl of her lip is forced but she knows that these two would never be able to tell the difference. There is a moment somewhere in between where the awkward pause stretches for them to respectfully send-off King Hubert and she half expects them to leave then too. When they don’t, her smile falters just a tad.
“Umm,” it takes her just a little time to recover her usual demeanor. She’s looking at this all wrong. This is be the perfect time to win a few people over to her side. The more people who look at her favorably, the easier this new stage in her life will be. “I heard that His Highness Prince Phillip had a hand in your marriage? He must have seen how lovely you two are together and instinctively knew you were meant for one another. Such strong instincts are a blessing for any future king to have, wouldn’t you agree?”
“It is awwwwfully strange.” She responds with a gumption only available to those who had been handed back their words but still believes the sky was green. It could just be that her thoughts on marriage had forever been ruined by her own experience or that she truly has become just like her mother in her later years as she had always feared. “From my experiences in my travels I’ve always been bombarded with rules for this and that. Kindness and friendship are fine to give and take so long as that is the only thing given and taken.”
She holds her unsteady ground and looks around at the jolly crowd. She had loved crowds before. The mingling smells of perfume and cologne and sounds of heavy skirts sweeping the dance floor became some of her fondest memories. A boy too, with deep hooded eyes and a smile so sad it never failed to make her heart skip. He had made the crowds worth navigating then and the music worth dancing to. Her brow wrinkles once more but this time it is not the prince’s actions that had been the cause but her own reminiscing. She hadn’t thought of her almost lover in so many years and yet she feels his presence everywhere now.
“I knew a man once that would disagree, perhaps his views on love have rubbed off on me more than I could ever dare to admit,” she holds one finger up in pause, “Nuhuh! I’ve not admit nothing to you. Let’s just part ways here. I think I saw flag colors I recognize and wish to be around something more familiar.”
Another twist of her heel and yet another pause still, “May your marriage be filled with the blessings of sun, your highness. Good day.” With that, she disappeared into the crowd.
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Toons For Our Times: The Loud House: Strife of The Party/ Kernel of Truth
Lana plans her and Lola’s party with copius amonts of dirt and garabage while Lola tries sabotaging it and I struggle to figure out which one we’re supposed to be rooting for exactly.
Meanwhile Lincoln and Co find an abandoned news room and attempt to start their own news show with the immediate threat of cancelation hanging over their heads. You know like most shows on nick. Also Rusty gets hurt a lot which automatically makes this a winner. News Team Assemble, under the cut.
Well this week was a mixed bag.. which granted could apply to this week as a whole but I meant it specifically for this episodes. Like last week one of them is a true classic that uses the series new status quo to create something intresting, and the other... is the worst episode i’ve reviwed so far. Yes not even one week and the show managed to go from having a boring episode to having a truly odious one. Both metaphorcially and literally as there’s a lot of grossout gags this time around. And unfortuantely since i’ts first in the pairing and the airing, I have to talk about it first. Pitter Patter, let’s get this over with.
Strife of the Party
I”m not exaggerating either. I admit I was hard on Schooled! and Family Bonding, but the former sitll had some good content and the latter was .. well it’s still a boring lazy retread with a bonkers ending, but I admitted to having seen worse. But “I’ve seen worse” is never the best defense. I’ll admit usually I avoided the worse episodes of the loud house. I haven’t seen some of the more infamous episodes of the show like “No Such Luck” or “Kings of the Con”.. because as just a viewer I could skip an episode if it sounded like toilet dinner. Sure i’ve still ran into them: “Study Muffin” was just eh when it aired but now both post me too and post chris savino being rightfully fired for being a harassing dickweasel thanks to said movement, it’s realy fucking creepy, has Lori at her worst (Actively trying to cheat on bobby), and .. I have no third thing. All we really got out of it was Lynn Sr’s obsession with the British. And “The Green House”’s reputation proceeds it and there’s a reason I couldn’t finish it. Point is i’ve been lucky to only step in a few cowpies in the field of this show, and now i’m watching it as it comes out i’m accepting the hard truth that with the show’s hit and miss quality, i’m going to have to go panning in shit creek some weeks if I want to find the nuggets of gold.
Now I will grant this episode doesn’t sound NEARLY as bad as “No Such Luck”.. but as opus would say....
Exactly my Pengy pal. Again not being worse than the worst episode of the show, still dosen’t make you a good episode. It just makes you marginally less terrible. It’s like saying Creed isn’t as bad as Nickelback. While tha’ts true they both still sound terrible, it’s just playing Creed isn’t a warcrime in some countries. And yes I just compared two episodes of a children’s show to bands my audience thankfully likely weren’t aware ever existed, I don’t care. If you haven’t left my blog running and screaming your either new here or tolerate me being an obscure weirdo.
Before we get in proper, I haven’t covered the twins yet so let’s do that quick. I haven’t really watched a ton of Lola and Lana’s episodes, their not bad characters htey just don’t intrest me much as i’ve seen their gimmicks a lot, but I will say lola’s slightly better and I will say I like Lana more when she’s doing animal antics instead of grossout. Not terirble characters and their acted well, just not my cup of tea is all. Okay enough stalling , pitter patter!
We open with Lola planning the twins upcoming birthday and talking to her stuffed animals which is cute and all.. before a POSSUM CHESTBURSTS OUT OF LOLA’S UNICORN DOLL.
The.. the fuck. Look i’m all for scaring the crap out of kids in children’s entertainment. I loved Courage the Cowardly dog as a kid and as a grown ass man writing about children’s entertainment. I love the lich from adventure time, i’m okay with scaring kids. But this is just.. a bit too realistic. Yes really. While doll that size probably can’t fit a possum it could sure fit something else and i’ve seen stuffed animals big enough for a posssum, so yeah.. this could actually happen to one of my nieces and that thought terrifies me. It happening to me also terrifies me but I’m a grown man not a small child who’d be scarred for life. Christ.
The episode does get better, for a second I didn’t bitch for a few paragraphs for nothing. Lana comes in, claims the demon possum, and tells Lola she’ll fix the doll. Uh Lana i’m not sure she wants it back.. you’d be better off burning it and setting the possum free in a republican center’s home where it belongs.
Anyways Lana has a good point, Lola’s been plannig their parties ‘since before they were born”.. literally as the image above shows which is just.. fucking amazing. I cannot belivie they got to go there and it’s glorious they did. I can’t think of many, if any, other chlidren’s cartoons that showed a fetus on screen so kudos.
But yeah that was the one good moment of the episode. Next our twins go to a party suply store where Lola, clearly knowing the host well because these kids have connections, has her stash all the poop colored stuff away... which backfires as lana instead goes to the garbage for party favors and decorations. It fails to get better: Next they go to a bakery where Lana makes her own literal garbage cake and then go to flips for entertainment i.e. a bull. NOw i’ll grant both stops have good bits: The cake store guy asks if Lana’s a cop when she asks for grime and Flip has them sign a waver for the bull. And the bull being lana’s idea of entertainment makes sense.. but overal it just comes off as gross and mean spirited. I mean yes Lola’s about to do some terrible stuff herself and yes Lola ouvershadowed lana.. but she dosen’t deserve this abuse and none of this is healthy or tolerbale for.. well anyone, and could get the Loud Parents in serious trouble, which also leaves the obvious plot hole of “why don’t they step in in either situation. “
The episode would’ve made more snese if Lana went to them to get them to let her host the party and their guilt over letting Lola always do it means they don't’ reign her in despite wanting to. Instead their just.. there at the end for a great bit we’ll get to. It’s always the bad episodes that paint the loud parents as terrible parents honestly. No Suck Luck had them cast their son out into the cold over nonsense, On Thin Ice had Lynn Sr decide forcing his children to embarass themselves was more important than teaching one of them that maybe sometimes you don’t always get to force your family to obey your whims for dumb reasons, and the april fools eps have Lynn Sr so terrified of pranking retribution instead of you know.. GROUNDING Luann for going full joker on their asses. IN most episodes their kind and reasonable but it’s always the bad ones where they instead make Homer Simpson look like a good parent.
But yeah my rant aside the episode COULD work if Lola, encouraged by one of her other siblings, Luann would be a good bet as she could easily slide into the party setting when appropriate without being too distracting, realizes she’s been selfish and tries to hold her tounge for lana’s sake. Maybe then she tries sabotage.. or better she DOSEN’T, but both of them realize something; Lola realizes she’s been doing this to lana their whole lives by forcing her into a party she doesn’t like so LOLA can be happy while Lana realizes she’s being no better. Hell even if Lola did complain, which is in character, this plot woudl still work. instead.. Lana is just as bad as Lola while Lola is still pretty terrible.
See the big problem is that NEITHER girl is likeable. As I’ve made clear Lana pushes a gross, dangerous party on her sister she clearly doesn’t like, and Lola, instead of trying tot alk to her parents or get Lana to tone it down.. tries to guide her to what she wants, then when that fails sabotages the party, makes it so Lana has nothing and gets her party. Both sides are being really bad, but instead of them realizing this, lana is treated as the one we should be sympathetic to when she gets mad when she finds out about Lola even though NEITHER of them are sympathetic or likeable and deserve to win 100%. But Lana does, lana gets her way, Lola apologizes and hte paradigm just shifts from one sibling being unhappy to another. We do get that one gag I talked about where when lola goes to make things right she has Lynn Sr stall and he pulls out a cowbell “You thought I wasn’t going to need this”. No bud, Rita HOPE you wouldn’t need this. There’s a difference. Thank god it’s the end.
Final Thoughts for Strife of the Party:
They should be obvious but to be clear this is hippo excrement. i’ts not funny, it makes both it’s leads look bad, the parents look worse by inaction and just isn’t pleasant ot watch. I do GET the show has a young audience, and they like grossout, I get i’m not the target demographic, so I probably would just be okay with a good version of this episode.. but even with that in mind both twins come off so unlikeable it’s just not fun to watch or to see Lana win as she didn’t feel like she earned it. It’s bad and it should feel bad, and i’ts the first truly odious episode i’ve had for weekly coverage. I’ve had okay or eh ones, but this one is truly bad and belongs in the pantheon of bad loud house episodes.. or at least in the honrable mentions. Good gravy this blew.
Kernel of Truth
Okay now we’ve panned the gold nugget out of the crap creek, we can get on with the GOOD episode this week. I was excited for this one.. I was excited for both actually, even not being a huge fan of the twins I liked the idea of a loud birthday but as we just saw,.. didn’t work out so good. But this one while I thought it would just be average, promised another lincrew shenanigan and I like most of those i’ve seen, and plus I knew it’d allow me to refrence anchorman a bunch so i was llike :Fuck it let’s go”.. and this one ended up being REALLY damn good and probably one of the best episodes with this group i’ve seen, right up there with “Be Stella My Heart.” I’ts good stuff. But before we get into it you probably noticed my ranting about girl jordan but turns out, while I haven’t watched that episode, she’s in the sand field trip episode from last season hanging out with stella so I have an answer to if they forgot abotu her, they didn’t they just need to use her more, and a new ship so i’m satisfied and I apologize for bitching about it. Next time i’ll just check the wiki and see before I bitch about something. ON with the review.
We open with our motely crew searching for a hidden Game Room rusty’s cousin claims exists, with Stellas as lookout and the guys.. er all in stacks that make it look like their doing a team up move from donkey kong country 2?
I mean I have been playing the game a lot since it came to switch online, seriously if you have the service go play it, but i’m not hte only one seeing this right? Right.
So yeah the kid stack fails and Zach doubts Rusty’s story.. because when has rusty ever been right.. well apparently just this one time, but we’ll get to that. They even checked the boiler room.
And then promptly vowed never to go back to the boiler room while Principal RAmierz just sighed at having to deal with a freddy kruger infestation again. They loose more children that way and the school board JUST got him out of the high school.
Liam also gets the line of the episodes when he calls the group “Fellas and Stellas” Which is just objectively amazing and needs to be used every time this group appares from now o.
Luckily= Stella noticed another closed door, this one taped off instead of just with a keep out sign and the Fellas and Stellas make their way inside and find themselves in.. a news room! But it’s nto a fox news room so it actually had news in it once and not Tucker Carlson, the answer to what happens to an 80′s or 90′s yuppie scumbag villian after they fail to get the orphange paved over for condos
Anyway, our heroes alll ohhh and all while Zach thinks this is where children are harvested. Nah Zach they just call them up on the pa system.
So everyone does what’s natural to them: Zach and Liam inspect the cameras, Stella looks at the old mic because she’s a natural for being an on camera personality and Rusty.. oggles an old group shot of the news team. You know I may not hate him with the hatred of a hundred suns, but he’s still objectively the worst. Zach gets mad at him over it because “That’s my mom”. Rusty defends himself by calling her hot and while th. no please god no dont’ talk about women like that you creepy little weatherbeaten Chucky doll that somehow became a real boy, or had dustin diamond transfer his soul into it befrore he died. Either is possible. The point is Ewww. The other point is while Rusty’s being his usual living proof of while he’ll die alone Zach has no right to get upset , AT FIRST because how the hell would Rusty know that’s hsi mom. You two have the combined braincell of a dead feret. Stella is the only one out of all 6 of you evenmy boy liam who has more than one brain cell. This argument is stupid and I hate you both, just settle things in the most humane way possible.. or at least THIS is what I consider the most humane way possible.
So while those two are being as stupid as expected, Lincoln suggets fixing the place and becoming the new school news crew. I mean they’d need new equipment since even if the stuff there still works’ it’s all worn out 80′s tech none of you know how to use but given their seen with a modern camera later int he episode, I assume they just sold this off and got new cameras. Even if the show flopped, more on that in a minute, the principal could still use those for other projects so it’s a win win. Stella Zhau agrees.. and FINALLY has a last name. Like holy shit i’ve been waiting a full season for this and it feels like that bit was JUST to give her a last name. Now they just need to do Liam but still, I needed this one more. Plus it also means we can now firmly say she’s chinese. Neat!
So after that blockbuster reveal Stella wonders where Rusty is, because fuck if I know, and they all find him continuing to oggle zach’s mom at their age....
Zach snatches it away and crumples up understandably annoyed. Rusty’s response is about what you’d expect.
So once Liam’s done throwing that calender into the school furnace, and saying hi to freddy as he passes the boiler on the way, our team heads to the principal to plead their case. They run into Meryl, the identical in personality, plot function and apperance outside of wearing pink instead of yellow to Cheryl, the receptionest at the elementary school who I really liked and it’s a clever way to keep the character at both schools and pays off the runnig gag of Cheryl asking liincoln or clyde who looks better her or her sister by having said sister show up and ask the same. Good stuff.
Meryl ends up agreeing to let them go see the wizard, I mean Principal Rameriz, because her soap is on. Also clyde’s a fan to his friends blank stares. Come on guys he watches romance movies, of course he’s going to love drama shows, even the non teen ones. I now imagine he joins the loud sisters on their riverdale nights. Riverdale the clusterfuck that has something for all of them: Teen drama and shirtless hunks for Lori and Leni, Music and scantly clad “teens’ of both genders and neither gender for Luna, something to laugh at for Luann who probably loves mst3king stuff, and violence for Lucy.. dosen’t seem like it’d be Lynn’s thing honestly but I rest my case. Also the rest of the sisters are too young but the parents figure Lucy’s desentised enough to violence and blind enough to sex to make an exception.
Now that fun headcanons out of the way our heroes pitch the principal whose skeptical, as the 80′s news show ended because it was boring, much like why that 80′s show ended. That and it was a bunch of 80′s pop culture refrences strung together. I do have a minor nitpick that it seems odd a school room would be in disuse for this long, but given the Principal has apparently spent years looking for aformetioned game room as we find out in the end, the school blueprints are apparnelty lost to the ages or if they exist are some sort of ancient treasure map buried beneath the school drawn in blood by an old witch. I mean this universe has cherry hating peach loving spies now, i’ not ruling anything out.
But our heroes beg them: Clyde has journalism experince on the school paper, Stella has the dedication and heart and Rusty .. thinks people need to see his face on camera. Rusty as far as we know your face functions like the vdieo from the ring and everyone in school is going to die 7 days after seeing it on film. That’s my theroy and i’m sticking to it. Thankfully everyone else is just as annoyed with him as me for once, and we get the glorious shot above of everyone just looking.. done with his antics and wondering why they keep him around. Finally for once I agree iwth the characters on something rusty related. Let’s show that agian.
Poetry. You can just feel the levels of “So done with this crap” seeping from every poor.. except for Poor Lincoln who just wishes his best friends and rusty woudl stop using him as furniture, and Liam whose covered but probably very much on team “Rusty Stop Being Yourself your blowing this for us”. They even have an action news pose.. which is botha dorable and breaks the principal’s bust of herself, so she relucntantly agrees to get them out of there. Plus as I said there’s really no loss for her here. If their sucessful the school gets a new elective, something to put on the tv’s every morning, a way to do announcments so she dosen’t have to, and free good publicity for her next bonus. If not.. then she has somehwere to store her new cameras she can use for other stuff, and come up with something else to do with the media lab. Either way she wins. Plus iwth phones and stuff noawaydays they only need the one new camera.
Okay before we move on confession time: I was on a school tv news show’s crew myself. Not in middle school, we werne’te that lucky but in high school we had video media, an elective where seniors edited news segments and what not for the school’s WhamTV program. I hope i’ts still around honestly. I started on a field crew doing stories but my awkardenss and a blow up at my partner where my awkward rage prone ass threatned him by accident, got me bumped to doing credits.. which I genuinely loved. I got to something fun, creative and unique, I was still part of hte intros every week, and I got plenty of time to goof off and watch videos. It’s how I found channel awesome and first got to watch atop the fourth wall since it wasn’t on youtube back then, back before you know, it turned out Doug was abusing all of them and younger me was just unaware of it. But it was still good times so this episode does feel a bit nostalgic for me.
But enough teary eyed reminciings of ten years ago, back to the plot. Our heroes air their newscast. It’s the Middle School Action News with with your Anchors Lincoln Loud and Clyde McBride, Stella Zhao in the field, Rusty Spokes on Sports for.. some reason, Cameraman Liam Wedon’tknowhislastname and Zach Gurdle somewhere out of the way. Middle School Action News, always on, always free.. no wiat tha’ts pluto. Middle School Action News, Taste the rainbow. Middle School Action News.. The Good Guys Always Win, Even in The 80′s. Yeah that’ll do!
But yeah while our heroes try their best, and to their credit this does feel like a middle school news show. The writers not our heroes. Anyways Lincoln and Clyde banter and we get our first segment Stella trying to interview mr. Bohlmer about his birthday.. which goes about as well as doing anything for him on ron swansons’ birthday.
Next we have Rusty on sports.. which I questioned when I first say this but as obonxious as Rusty can be.. yeah this is the best place to have him. Stella has the drive and the talent to be their field reporter, Clyde and Lincoln have a lifelong report that does well for the desk, Liam is nice and patient enough for camera work, and Zach is a paranoid weirdo so he probably has experince editing since thats where I assume where he is since htey ddon’t do weather and even if they did Liam’s just not the right shade of oblivoiusly nuts.
I do however at least get why they keep him around as Rusty needs someone to get fed up with him.. but as the above moment showed Clyde and Stella can do that easily, as can Lincoln, so he really has no functional purpose other than as a B-Grade dale gribble. ANd I know kids don’t know who that is but they frankly deserve better. Seriously Zach...
Okay getting back to the segement. For starters Rusty does a breath spray first.. but suprisingly despite interviewing a lady, specifically Lynn, he DOSEN’T hit on her and is actually professional and manages to get a quote despite her disintrest. LIke I know it’s the bare minimum but you’ve met rusty right? the Bare Minimum is hard for him to grasp. Earlier this episode he was oggling old pictures of his friends mom and saying he should take it as a compliment which, Hard No. So the fact hours later he’s talking to a woman without radiating creep after that is an achivment. For him and him alone mind you, most kids should know better. But still I may be hard on the kid, because DAMN is it fun and damn if he dosen’t give me plenty of joke fodder, but I will give him credit even if it’s the bare minmum. Good job rust you passed the very basic plateau of human decency.
Stella wraps things up with a look at the cafteria that’s about what you’d expect from a kids cartoon, shoe int he beans etc. Unfortuantley bean shoes, sportz and angry assholes aren’t enough to float the show and the principal is ready to can it. On hte bright side they have their first lawsuit from Mr. Bohlmer. I mean John Olvier idnd’t start getting sued by dickheads with no real case till he was 30, nicely done kids. And it’s not even why, it’s just boring and the kids aren’t enjoying it. So Stella, being again the one with her own brain cells here, proposes to let them find a big story, and Ramirez reluctantly but graciously agrees. And that’s why I like her so far. Don’t get me wrong having Steven Tobolowsky as principal was great, but I like Rameriz better: she’s smart, weary of the crap she puts up with and tough but fair.. which is a cliche btu fits here: She’ll be honest with her kids but will give them an honest chance and sees our news team really doees want this bad and her giving htem one more day to find something actally intresting is more than fair.
So our heroes spitball about what to do for news. LIam suggests alien because again he has about one character trait, so everyone tells him for hte last time no. I mean it isn’t much worse than his last suggestion.
So once agian it’s RUSTY who saves the day, bringing in beet snacks.. which he tries to get them not to stone him over over the fact the popcorn was all gone.. which okay 1) I get the show’s tring to be healthy so maybe ther’es not chips, but I have a hard time buying that there’s no Chez Its, snack packs or other goodies between “Popcorn’ and “something with beetz that only two men would eat” For the record those two men are Dwight Schrute, for obvious reasons, and this guy my boy Tony Chu.
I highly recommend this comic, Chew for the record, to anyone. Just.. anyone whose not a children it gets voilent, but it is sublime. We’re not here for that, but I thought i’d plug it. It also has a spinoff currently running, Chu, following his criminal sister. Also real good and dosen’t really spoil anything for hte main series thus far so you can hop in there instead. Either way your in for a ride.
Back on topic, while Rusty failed with snacks he actually brings up a good point: The popcorn isn’t just gone because it’s late in the school day, but because as the kids notice, it’s just missing in general despite the trucks arriving. They have their story and head out to investigate.
And suprisingly, unlike last week’s investigation they find something: A mysterious hooded figure bribing the driver for popcorn, and taking it off somewhere. They fail to catch her, as Rusty dives over her telling Liam to “Make sure you get this”.. he instead gets a shrub and video of him attacking a shrub. I’ts a good runner and shows the writers are leanring to use Rusty better.
They take the footage to the principal, who is impresssed, but states they need to find out who dun it for the story to be complete which is fair enough. They stalk out the nexxt delivery time later that night, but find the drivers have been switched and the mystery person has fled to canada. Rusty once again tries catching her and fall sin the water. Liam once again responds with a cheerful “Don’t worry rusty I got it”.. okay this dynamic is honestly better than him and Zach: Cheerful oblivious Liam and scheming dumbass rusty. Why isn’t THIS the “Those Two Guys” dynamic in the group, honestly.
Anyways Lincoln is dispondent the next day as iwth no leads, they have no programa nd prepares to do a spider-man no more with his anchorsuit.. which okay 1) you can use that for other things man. Peter Parker can’t really use a spider-man suit for anything but spider-manning but you can use that suit for dates and dances and stuff. and 2).. whya re he and the clyde the only ones with outfits? I mean.. it’s clear from this episode there will be more school news stories nad it just looks weird that they get to play dressup in suits but the rest of the crew isn’t. Liam at leat is working the camera and Zach is Zach but rusty and Stella are field reporters. Field reporters, while not always, usually get nice suits too guys.
ANyways Lincoln finds something in the garbage. And not his sister this time, as Lana oscar the grouched it up lat episode in sadness. Which to be fair will be her future career mark my words. At least I think that’s a career. Anyways, our heros find a ferry ticket meaning whoever fled to Canada is in the building. They trail some popcorn from the ticket to the locked door from earlier, which Rusty, finishing the rule of three, tries knocking it down hwile Liam gets it. Stella, again proving to be the real hero of this tale, uses her hair as a lockpick. Is.. is there anythign this child can’t do? She and Marcy should swap notes sometime damn.
And the culprit is MERYL! She was using the popcorn for insulation to get a quite room to herself and begs the kids not to tell which. is the weaker part of the episode> We don’t have the investment in Meryl we do in Cheryl, and she did you know.. steal school property.. or at least buy it off under the table. But the kids being the sweet kids they are understandably, schemes or not don’t want her to loose her job, and agree to not tell on her even if they loose their show. And to their creid and what keeps this from sinking the episode Meryl is genuinely greatful for this gesture, and gives them the scoop.
And as i’ve been mentioning turns out RUSTY WAS RIGHT. Yes Rusty. That Rusty. Was Right about something. The Game Room exists. They find it thorugh a hidden locker entrance and unlock it from the inside, with af lodo of viewers coming in. Granted at first I didn’t know why Meryl didn’t just use this room but then I thought “Oh yeah she’s a full grown adult and can’t fit in the entrance and i’m assuming it was locked from the other side to the rest of the school”. So the kids have a new hangout and as the principal joins them, they havea show! Turns out she’d been looking for this place for years.. and doesn’t turn it into something else. What a legend. She plays Air Hockey with Meryl, is there something going on there or are my shipping goggles acting up.. probably both. Anyways our heroes have genuine thanks, a fun new hangout at school, their own headquarters and their own news show. It’s a heck of a day but it’s no time to rest as Rusty tells them he has another tip and i’ts off... to pick up a broom to sweep up the gumball machine they knock over.. THEN they can go find the hot tub for the teachers lounge.
Final Thoughts:
OH me mow, this was a great one. For one the main complaint I had I mentioned at Schooled! of it not feeling like Lincoln’s friends were given enough personality sometimes? Gone enitrely. Everyone except Clyde and Zach get a moment and Clyde is still fully present and has gotten several focus episodes at this point, while Zach again should just leave already. But the rest of them? All on form. Stella continues to prove her competence, energy and adorability, Rusty is not only actually useful for once but was actually really funny his episode. The gag with Zach’s mom was actually pretty hilarious, my jabs at him aside, and the runner of him trying to do some epic stunt, telling Liam to film it and then humiliating himself while his pal cheerfully tells him he got it is just great and Lincoln’s Spider-Man no more moment with his suit was both said and kinda funny and I love him and Clyde’s reporter outfits. It’s why I wanted everyone to have them, especially since this will be a recurring theme and looks to be a fun one. It was fun, creative, and took me back a decade. It was a REALLY damn good one and I’m glad I watched this one first, a true highlight of the series and a true good sign that the season can, even with some hiccups, will apparnetly have some REALLY great episodes on average even with the weaker ones.
That’s it for this week... and somehow for loud house coverage as, for now, their doesn’t’t seem to be any new episodes in October, but that could change. Until then, follow this blog every Monday for regular ducktales coverage and come back in October for more loud house, more the Casagrandes and some spooky spooky fun Until then, Go team venture.
#The Loud House#Lincoln Loud#Lana Loud#Lola Loud#Clyde McBride#Stella Zhau#Liam#Zach Girdle#Rusty Spokes#Principal Rameriz#Meryl#Lynn Loud#Girl Jordan#Lynn Loud Sr#Rita Loud
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TodoDeku with a baby using prompt 10?
Guess who took this prompt and went way overboard with it? This dweeb! *points at self*
Also, Trigger Warning: Mentions/References to Experimentation on Children, Mentions/ References to Child Neglect/ Abuse.
Parenting was a strange, exciting event that, while Todoroki Shouto adored, occasionally left him grasping at straws.
His own upbringing had been anything but soft and comforting. There had been the brief moments of reprieve with his mother or older sister, but they were far and few between; especially after the scalding incident. As he grew up, however, he began to come out of his own shell and begin picking up the pieces from his shattered youth. He developed a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor that people seemed to enjoy. He went out of his way to bumble awkwardly through befriending people he admired, boasting a small but close social circle that his younger self had thought was only a dream.
And he fell helplessly in love with Midoriya Izuku, the man who started these changes in him, and the two had started a family together a few years after marrying.
He had been nervous but thrilled about the whole prospect. While his own experience with parenting was dark and scarring – literally – he felt good about how he and Izuku would manage. The two of them were a strong couple and were very vocal about their needs and wants. They had a great support system in their friends, Inko and All Might, Rei and Shouto’s siblings, and – to a much lesser and restricted extent – Endeavor. They had done their research into what options were available for them and then started on the grueling process of being approved through both means; the first being adoption, and the second being assisted by a medical professional with an accommodating Quirk. Due to reform acts in the justice system – and Shouto would forever be grateful for those changes, all things considered – the process was a bit more complex for Pros, and especially so for a married couple that were both Pros.
But, after a full fourteen months of paperwork, appointments, interviews and home evaluations, they received their approval letter. And then, a few months later, on November 12th, they brought home their son, Todoroki Satoshi.
Satoshi was born via the assistance of a Quirk user, meaning he was biologically related to Shouto and Izuku. Just based on appearance, his relation to the Todoroki family was clear; he had the crimson locks and steel toned eyes and pale complexion. His hair did, however, have that same natural curl that Izuku's did, making it a nightmare to tame as it grew longer. Aside from his appearance, though, as he got older, more of his behavior was also derived from his Papa. He had more confidence in him than either Shouto or Izuku had at his age but that was compounded by being incredibly emotional and a bit of a crybaby. Toshi was near as quick to tears as his Papa had been a long time ago, but a part of Shouto was grateful for it. He liked that he was comfortable enough with himself to be so vulnerable and transparent with his feelings.
And then, when he was just a few weeks shy of four, there had been the manifestation of his Quirk, which had been... Well, a shit show, to put it in the most honest of terms. They’d been over at the Todoroki estate so the kids could visit with their cousins, aunts, uncles and Rei, the little cluster of seven children running to and fro chasing a ball in the yard. Shouto had been pleased to watch his children get to play with their family, delighted by the excited squeals and shouts coming from them all. But then, after a few minutes, Satoshi had come running over, all watery eyes and choked wails about how his throat hurt and it was hard to breath, little fingers clawing at his neck as if that would soothe his pain. He and Izuku were immediately rushing to get him in his Papa’s arms for a leap to the nearest emergency room, when he suddenly squirmed and pushed away, putting a bit of distance between himself and Izuku, turned his head to the side and unleashed an impressive blast of fire from his mouth, scorching a large tree not too far off into nothing but smoldering kindling. He and Izuku had stared at the murdered tree before looking at each other and then down at their son, who had slumped back against his Papa’s chest with a small whine. “I thought I was gonna puke,” he mumbled sheepishly. They had nodded awkwardly, not sure how else to respond, before Shouto excused himself to get the little tot some water.
Rei had been the one with the most insight of how to help them manage his newfound abilities, citing how she had managed Touya and Shouto when their Quirks first presented and they hadn’t started training with Endeavor. She suggested some small game-like exercises that would help Satoshi figure out how to make the Quirk work when he wanted, as well as give him some insight to when his Quirk was activating and he couldn’t stop it. A few days later, Endeavor had approached Shouto with the information for a support tech group that specialized in making customized home materials - such as sheets and clothes and the like - for children still learning to manage their Quirks. “Let them know I advised you speak with them and they should offer you a discount,” he had said. And that was the end of it, much to Shouto’s surprised pleasure.
Furthermore, getting in touch with Izuku's father had been a huge help, too. Satoshi's fire-breathing Quirk was significantly stronger than the elder Midoriya's was, but it seemed the backlash was similar. Overextending the Quirk could lead to dehydration - which had been learned quickly, given how excitedly he'd shown his Quirk off initially - and, when pushed too far, had actually torn his throat up enough to make him cough up some blood. The bigger struggle with him was maintaining control of how far and large the blast was. Almost a year after the fact, Satoshi was still learning in regards to those aspects of it, but had made great strides in his ability to control when the fire was used. It had been a month since the last time his Quirk went unruly and almost set a fire while he was sleeping and that was no small accomplishment.
And then there was their daughter, who came home just a short while after Satoshi turned a year old.
She was found through work. Or, rather, Izuku found her as part of an investigation he was assigned to. Shouto didn't know the specifics since he wasn't one of the Pros on the mission, but he knew it was disgusting; something involving experimentation to see about accelerating the development process for Quirks. All 78 test subjects had been children - some as old as eleven and their daughter being the youngest at only three months old - and it had rattled his husband to the core, seeing the state they were all in and how they'd been treated leading up to the sting. For the next two weeks, Izuku went to the hospital every night to visit with the children, checking their progress and hoping for the best. Once Shouto found out why he was going, he would join him when he could.
It was through this he learned specifically of Girl 36, the label attached to the youngest victim.
Of the 78 children, only 23 ended up surviving the ordeal; and of that, only 7 were reunited with their biological families while the rest needed to be rehomed completely. Girl 36 turned out to be biologically related to two of the main villains involved in the whole experiment who were still at large. Neither side of the villains' families wanted her, though, seeing her as a reminder of where their bloodlines had gone wrong. Her fate had seemed further sealed when a doctor had told them outright that she, as the youngest, was least likely to make it much longer. "While she hasn't been subjected to as much experimentation as some of the others," he said patiently, "she is very young and very small. For an infant of her age to have been this mistreated and neglected, the odds of bouncing back may as well be negative digits. We'll keep doing all we can, but we're mostly just trying to make sure she is as comfortable as possible when the inevitable occurs."
And she had been so small, so fragile, appearing as if an odd look would be enough to break her, that Shouto couldn't blame the doctor for his assessment. He peered down at her, tucked away in a little incubator of sorts, hooked up to far too many machines, and saw her little eyes crack open. Pumpkin colored slivers stared up at he and Izuku, a small spark there, and he knew. He knew that even if no one else believed that she could pull through, that she was strong and she would beat those impossible odds. That night, Shouto suggested they apply to adopt her. Izuku had wept in joy, confessing he had wanted to ask but wasn't sure how to approach it, and they started the process the following morning. It took six weeks for things regarding the adoption to be finalized, and then five more after before she was medically cleared to be discharged, but it was all well worth it.
Her birth date was determined to be some time in early May, with the doctor deciding the tenth seemed like a good day, and she sat at six months old when she came home on November 24th. They had selected the name Momiji for her because with her red-brown hair and orange eyes she seemed to be the living embodiment of fall aesthetics. So, naming her after the leaves that fell in the season she came home in only made sense. It was a little difficult at first, balancing their work with two children under the ages of two and one who needed a bit of extra care and monitoring, but they figured it out and were happy. Toshi enjoyed having a little sister to play with and Momiji started to thrive under the watchful eyes of her new, loving family.
But Momiji was rather different than Satoshi as she got older. She was easily excitable and an absolute chatterbox and seemed to have boundless energy. Furthermore, despite how much she had needed to be monitored, she was already significantly more independent than her brother. Part of that, though, could have been a side effect of how early on her Quirk ended up presenting. She had just barely been two years old when it happened, and while not unheard of, had become rather uncommon. The doctor explained that this was most likely a side effect of the experimentation she’d been put through, as it was a recurring theme with some of the other younger children that had lived. It had happened while she was in the bath before bedtime, as she was squealing and happily splashing about while Izuku laughed at her antics. One minute, she was in the tub, and then she suddenly perked up, her giggles cutting off as she blinked. “Momi?” Izuku had asked, tilting his head at her.
She patted at her belly and looked up at him, as if that would answer the question, and then she was enveloped in a yellow-white mist of light. It was brief - less than three seconds, Izuku swore - but when it faded, Momiji was gone. In her room, however, where Shouto had been pulling out some clean pajamas for her, the mist-light appeared, and suddenly Momiji was there, sitting on her changing table and dripping water all over it. Shouto remembered the two of them gawking at each other for a full five seconds before she took in a little gasp and said, nonchalant as a toddler could be, “Oh, hi Daddy.”
Teleportation, it was deemed medically, but Izuku liked to call it Peek-A-Boo, given its sporadic nature.
They'd had to do quite a bit of research to better understand her Quirk; specifically in that they had to drudge up the files of her genetic donors, since Shouto refused to apply the word "parent" to villains like that. Their Quirks were called Locator and Mistafy respectively; one could pinpoint a person's exact coordinates with enough information about them, while the other could briefly transform their body into a faint mist to move around or past things. Learning the limitations of their powers helped give them more insight with Momiji's own Quirk. She didn't have a particularly large range and she was limited to places she knew the layout of to a certain extent, so they didn't have to worry about her poofing off the property, at least. There had been one scare, though, when she'd teleported herself into a small crawl space under the house, where she had apparently burrowed into during a few rounds of hide-and-seek before. She could poof from room to room when visiting Inko and All Might or Rei and Endeavor, what with her being familiar with their homes, but she couldn't just appear in a neighbor's home or something.
And that had been a huge relief, really. They'd had to start working on her Quirk early on to avoid her “peeking” - as they preferred to call it - herself somewhere she shouldn't, or somewhere dangerous like the time with the crawl space. They had done it using little games, just like they did with Toshi, and learned that she could also teleport small objects, as well as that overworking her Quirk would lead to fainting spells. She was also a quick study, picking up on the same ticks of her power that her parents had and taking their advice or warning very seriously. Despite being younger, she was better with her Quirk than Satoshi, having reached a point where she seemed to have near-flawless control of it. Her last incident of accidental peeking was nearly three months ago.
But her Quirk was also part of what had Shouto's mind working in overdrive. He had voiced his concern to Rei and Inko, but the pair of them had merely giggled about what a mother hen he was being, fretting over his little chick running the roost a bit more. It wasn't about that, though! It wasn't about her being able to brush her teeth on her own without needing to be asked, or getting herself drinks or anything trivial like that! Shouto was fine that Momiji and Satoshi were already showing differences in who they were growing to be. What he worried about was what the catalyst for her to be so self-reliant at her young age was. How much of her independence was just part of her personality, and how much of it was out of a perceived sense of necessity? Had the need to get a handle on her Quirk led to her feeling like she was obligated to be more responsible, more mature? Was she feeling the same way he felt growing up?
That was what scared him. That she was carrying far too much weight on her little shoulders.
The thought was still bothering him as he dragged himself home after a late night patrol. He knew that by the time he got home, Izuku and the kids would most likely already be in bed. It was a quarter past eleven by the time he came through the door. He made a beeline for the bedroom, being quiet as he did so, and took a quick shower. It was as he was finishing up her pre-bed route that he noticed a quiet rustling sound in the bedroom proper. He rinsed his mouth and poked his head out, flicking the light off as he did.
There was a small squeak of surprise and then the soft patter of footsteps rushing from the left side of the bed towards the door. For a moment, he almost thought it was Toshi, but the figure was a smidge too short. "Momiji," he called softly, resisting the urge to dart over and scoop her up. He kept telling himself to just let her do what she needed to do, to trust that she'd speak up if needed.
She paused in reaching for the door before letting out a whimper, charging at him, latching to his right leg, and started crying. He was stunned by the act for a second, his body wavering slightly. Normally when she wanted one of them, she'd use her Quirk to get to them faster. He shifted to pick her up and cradle her against him, tucking her into his right shoulder. He kept one arm looped under her legs while the other stroked her back, trying to soothe her some. The quiet rustle of covers caught his attention and he turned to see a groggy Izuku sitting up, rubbing one eye with the heel of a hand. The minute he realized what was going on, though, he was wide awake. "What happened?" he mouthed.
"I'm not sure," he mouthed back. He moved over to the bed, carefully slipping into his side while keeping her close. Once he was settled, Izuku moved closer so he could rest against Shouto’s left side and reach out to help soothe their little girl, the three of them all squished together. After a few moments of soft words and gentle reassurances, she settled down a little. Her tiny body still shuddered with each breath in, but her cries had quieted down and her tears had subsided to just small sniffles. “Feeling a little better?” he prompted.
“Mmhmm,” she mumbled, letting out another little sniffle.
Izuku reached over and gently wiped away the last few tears from her cheeks. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I had a bad d-dream,” she said, a hiccup causing her to stumble over the last word. She peeked her little eyes at them before tilting her head to nuzzle further into Shouto, hiding her face. “I kept peeking over and over and I didn’t know where I was and I couldn’t make it st-stop and it was s-su-super s-s-sc-ary!”
Shouto tilted his head to press a small kiss to the top of her head as she started to work herself up into another fit while Izuku started wiping away the new batch of tears. "Oh, Momi, it's okay. It's okay to have scary dreams," Izuku cooed softly.
"N-Nu-uh!" she protested, burrowing her face into Shouto.
Izuku let out a small sigh as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Oh, sweetie, everyone has scary dreams sometimes,"
"N-Not about their Q-Quirks!" she hiccupped, lifting her head to scowl at him. With the watery eyes and trembling lower lip, though, any attempt at intimidation was lost. "M-Mako-Kun doesn't g-get sc-scared of his Q-Quirk! A-And neither do Kaito or Reo or Isamu or Hibari!” The mention of Fuyumi’s kids was unsurprising, but the first one she mentioned did catch Shouto a bit off guard. Mako was the neighbor boy, a middle school student that occasionally walked Satoshi home and who helped his mom babysit them when neither Shouto or Izuku were going to be off of work on time or had anyone else available. His Quirk had something to do with generating poison and anti-venom, from what Shouto recalled, but he couldn't remember the specifics. Something to ask Izuku about later, since he'd most likely know.
"Well, Mako-Kun has had his Quirk a lot longer than you. I'm sure he was scared of it a little bit at first, too," Izuku chimed in softly, though he seemed a bit unsure of himself. Shouto knew that Izuku didn’t have any first hand experience with dealing with a Quirk at a young age, but they hadn’t discussed that fact with the kids yet. They were still only five and four, respectively, and they worried the pair would let the secret slip. They both knew that both kids tended to brag about who their dads were, after all.
Shouto hummed in agreement, carding a hand through her hair. “Papa’s right. Everyone's a little scared of their Quirk when they’re still learning about it. Why, I was afraid of my Quirk for a really long time,” he commented.
Momiji’s head snapped up lightning fast at that, looking at him like he’d just rocked the entire foundation of her world. “What? But you’re Daddy! A Hero! You’re not scared of nothing!” she squawked.
He laughed quietly, gently stroking her hair again to coax her to lie back down. “I wasn’t a Hero back then; I was little, like you. And even now, I might be a Hero, but there are still things I’m afraid of,” he mused.
“Like what?” she chirped, slowly settling back down, resting her chin on him and tilting her head so she could stare up at him.
“Well, I’m scared of something happening to you, or Papa, or Satoshi. I’m scared of not doing a good job as a Hero, or as a parent,” he admitted.
“And scorpions,” Izuku chimed in helpfully.
Shouto cast him a side glance before lightly pinched his belly in retaliation, causing the other to throw his face into a pillow with a muffled giggle. “Scorpions are icky!” Momiji agreed with a little shudder.
“Yes, they are,” he agreed, turning his attention back to her. “But back to the Quirk thing… I was very scared of my Quirk when I was around your age. I was always worried about hurting someone with it.”
“So what did you do?” she mumbled softly. “When you got scared?”
For a moment, he wasn’t sure what to tell her. He didn’t want to lie and pretend that he had parents that he could actively seek comfort from, but he also didn’t think that unpacking his childhood trauma on his daughter was responsible. His own childhood coping mechanisms also weren’t the best. But, he realized, there was something he could offer up. “Well, I would take a little break from using it,” It was a half truth at best, since he was pretty sure that ‘a little break’ didn’t extend to ‘nearly a decade of non-use’, but it was mostly true once he started actively using his fire. It had taken him time to get used to it and, sometimes, he’d struggle and get frustrated or scared. “I’d go do other things, like reading a book or studying notes, and just not really think about my Quirk until I felt ready.”
She hummed and nodded quietly, shifting to nuzzle closer to him again. “Mkay,” she said simply.
“Do you feel better, baby?” Izuku asked softly, resting his head against Shouto’s chest and getting himself comfortable.
“Mmhmm,” she hummed before opening her mouth wide in a yawn. She smacked her lips a bit and burrowed into Shouto, little hand curling in the fabric of his night shirt and her eyes sliding closed. “Can I sleep here?”
The pair of them exchanged amused looks. As if they were going to shoo the poor thing back to her room, especially when she was already so comfy and content. “Of course you can,” Shouto hummed, pressing another kiss to the top of her head.
“Love you, Daddy, Papa,” she yawned, eyes cracking open briefly as she flashed them a little smile before they fluttered closed again.
Shouto carefully curled his arm around her to keep her close while Izuku settled one of his hands on top of hers, thumb gently stroking the top. Once her breaths started to come in even, steady puffs, green eyes flashed upwards with affectionate exasperation. “This little girl, I swear. She just jumps from hysterical to dubious to exhausted like it’s nothing,” he chuckled.
“Well, she is our daughter. Emotional extremes are kind of our thing in this family,” he teased back, grin widening when Izuku whined and ducked his face into his shoulder. “And, I mean, I don’t blame her for being exhausted. Being scared can be very tiring.”
“Hmm,” Izuku agreed, turning his head to look at her again. She was completely peaceful now, little sleepy snores escaping her. “Do you think that part of it is because she doesn’t spend a whole lot of time with other kids her age? I mean, she has play dates with everyone elses kids when we can find the time, but the kids she sees the most often are bigger kids. Or perhaps it’s a matter of her Quirk being so different from the rest of the family and her friends? I mean, most of the other kids have more expansive Quirks that aren’t so directly tethered to their spatial awareness.”
“I’ll call Momo tomorrow and see what preschool program she and Kyoka are thinking about putting Shikako in. Perhaps being with a peer that she knows whose Quirk also has an element of unpredictability will help her feel comfortable. Or at least give her someone her own age that relates to help her feel better about it,” he commented. Shikako had been another of the rescued survivors from the same incident as Momiji, though she was a few months older. She had been living with a different family for the first six months after the incident, but then her Quirk presented. It turned out to be Projection; she could temporarily bring things she imagined to life. Because of how similar her Quirk seemed to work to Momo’s, she and Kyoka had immediately jumped to take her in when her first family admitted to not knowing how to manage her Quirk, happy to offer her a safe and loving home.
“You’re amazing,” Izuku said, leaning up to kiss him quickly before settling back down. Shouto smiled and relaxed into the bed, basking in the weight of his husband and daughter pressing down on him. There was going to be some phone calls to make in the morning and there was still work to be done, but he felt relieved to know their daughter wasn’t afraid to open up and seek comfort from them.
He held her a little tighter, though, just in case the lingering fears tried to disturb her again.
#crumbles grumbles#TodoDeku#my fics#TW: Child Abuse#TW: Child Neglect#TW: Experimentation#UGH I am WEAK for writing my ships with children!#And I have Too Many Feels about Shouto as a Daddy#Hence why this was kinda Shouto-centric
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Secret Spectres
Romano x America + first Halloween (as a couple)
Recipient: @whatever-aph
Characters: [America, Romano]
Notes: For the Secret Spectres with @hetaliawritersdiscord ! This was my first time writing for Romerica, and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Hope you like it too!
It was such a bummer that Halloween fell on a Wednesday this year.
Lovino didn’t agree with trick-or-treating (“How would the parents react when they see two grown-ass adults begging for candy, Alfred? Right on their doorstep?”), but he did agree to the costumes. Alfred was surprised when Lovino asked if there were any Halloween parties in the area that weren’t aimed towards to kids, and unfortunately, there weren’t any. All of the parties, if any, were on the weekends, and both of them agreed that dressing outside of Halloween would be weird.
They would just have to make do with their circumstances.
“I really don’t think our first Halloween together is such a special thing,” Lovino sighed, on the night of the 30th. They were on Alfred’s bed together, staring up at the ceiling. Alfred had his cute pumpkin pajamas on, while Lovino had relented when Alfred asked if he could wear those pajama pants with black cats.
“You don’t think so?” Alfred asked, and Lovino could just hear the smile in his voice.
Lovino shook his head. “The only difference between tomorrow and any other day is that we’ll be handing out candy to kids. Oh, and we’ll be in costume. That’s about it. We’ll still be going to work, and we’ll still be together.”
“Yeah, but that’s exactly it!” Alfred reached over to wrap his arms around Lovino’s waist, which earned him a surprised squawk. “We’ll be celebrating it together! And you’ll be making those sweets!”
Lovino huffed. “Only because I’m not eating cheap crap,” he mumbled, squeezing Alfred’s arms close to himself. Alfred grinned.
“Whatever you say, man,” he laughed, nuzzling a kiss between the crook of Lovino’s neck. And, despite himself, Lovino snorted and pinched Alfred at the side to get him back. From there, it quickly devolved into a cuddle-fight.
October 31st started out pretty boring, actually. They departed for their jobs -- Lovino at the daycare and Alfred at the high school gym -- and other than gaudy plastic pumpkins and pictures of spiders and cauldrons taped on the walls, it was a mostly regular workday for them. Lovino still had to pull two quarreling children apart (even though, in this situation, the little brat wanted to pull a kid’s tiara off), politely argue with parents (“No, ma’am, we don’t know if the caramel apples are gluten-free, yes, we promise not to feed any sort of candy to your child.”), and already wishing to get home by noon. Alfred, on the other hand, had to deal with a teen who wanted to do laps with a gorilla mask on and had to send them to the dean’s office to take care of. It wasn’t as if dealing with kids breaking dress code was anything new. This time was just... weird.
Lovino arrived home first. He always arrived home first at three, since that was when a majority of the parents picked up their little tots from the daycare (and he refused to stay until seven waiting for those parents that nearly forget to pick up their children, how in the world do they do that?). Only bothering to put an apron on top of his work clothes, he went straight into the kitchen to make the sweets.
Alfred arrived home an hour and a half later. It smelled so damn good. Lovino was hunched over the stovetop, stirring something with a large wooden spoon. Alfred wanted to surprise him with a hug, but he remembered the last time he did that when Lovino was handling something hot. (They were out making s’mores over a campfire with Alfred’s family, and when Alfred suddenly hugged Lovino, Lovino almost whacked him with his marshmallow -- which was on fire. it was a crazy night.)
So instead, he just announced his presence with small banter.
“Whatcha cooking now?” Alfred asked, peeking over Lovino’s shoulder. The chocolate chips were half-melted in the saucepan, Lovino deftly folding the chocolate over.
“I’m just melting chocolate,” Lovino mumbled, poking the saucepan. “Cupcakes finished baking, though. They’re over there.”
At that, Alfred perked up. “Really?” He glanced to the kitchen counter, and lo and behold, a tray of chocolate cupcakes were cooling on the metal rack. So that the source of the smell. He sneakily sidestepped and tried to pluck a cupcake from the rack.
“If you burn your fingers on that, I’m not taking you to the hospital.”
Alfred snorted. “They’re not that hot,” he insisted, but he backed away nonetheless. “Anything I can do to help you?”
Lovino shrugged, motioning towards the cabinet. “Sprinkles and white chocolate are in the cabinet.”
With a mock gasp, Alfred opened the wooden cabinet and grabbed the bag of white chocolate chips and various bottles of sprinkles. “You? A cooking connoisseur? Using the forbidden white chocolate?” He teased, placing the bag right beside his love.
Lovino rolled his eyes. “You’re the one who wanted mummy cupcakes.” He turned off the stovetop, then removed the saucepan. “Pour it into a bowl, please?”
They spent the rest of the afternoon decorating cupcakes into cutesy monsters, including bats, mummies, jack-o-lanterns, and even a rainbow zombie -- white chocolate with all the leftover sprinkles on top. The idea was Alfred’s, and Lovino honestly couldn’t believe the sprinkles would stick.
“It’s gonna be the tastiest one and you know it,” Alfred grinned, rubbing his hands with a napkin.
“With all that crap on it?” Lovino asked as he placed dishes into the sink. “... Yeah, probably.”
That earned him a messy kiss on the cheek, and Lovino half-heartedly complained about the chocolate Alfred hadn’t wiped from his mouth yet.
They had just finished cleaning the kitchen when the doorbell rang.
“... Craaaaap,” Alfred hissed. “We’re not in costume yet!”
Lovino leaned back to glance through the window. Already, there were three kids and a parent crowded around their door; one kid reached up to ring the doorbell again, but an older kid smacked the hand away.
“I’ll go give them candy,” Lovino sighed. “You go change in your costume.” With a quick kiss, Lovino ducked under Alfred to get the bowl.
“You’re the best!” Alfred sang as he bolted up the stairs, grin still on his face as he went into the bedroom.
Lovino only clicked his tongue as he grabbed the creepy ceramic bowl with the hand sticking out. Alfred apparently got it from a thrift store a while ago, and when he showed it to Lovino, Lovino could only stare.
“We can’t use that,” Lovino muttered at the time.
“Why not?” Alfred grinned, shaking the bowl so the hand tilted towards Lovino. “You scared of it~?”
Now, Lovino supposed it made a fine bowl, even with the weird lifelike hand. He grabbed the huge bag of assorted candies and dumped in half. The kids could get the crappy chocolate and caramels. They, on the other hand, were going to feast on quality treats.
No sooner did Lovino close the door behind him, the happy costumed kids stepping onto the sidewalk with their plastic bags a little fuller than before, Alfred emerged from the bathroom fully dressed.
“You think I look white enough?” Alfred asked, still rubbing white chalk on his face. It was a miracle his midnight blue Dracula suit wasn’t getting lighter in the process.
“White as a ghost,” Lovino said, climbing up the stairs to meet him. He fixed Alfred’s collar, then frowned at Alfred’s neck. “No blood this time?”
Alfred groaned. “I don’t want to scare the kids.”
“Oh, believe me, they’ve seen scarier.” The doorbell rang again as Lovino shifted the collar to a satisfactory position, and he sighed. “I’ll go change now.” He took another step, then turned behind him. “And I don’t want you touching the cupcakes with those chalky hands!”
Alfred just sent him a wide grin before greeting the door.
Lovino’s costume took longer. So long, in fact, that it was only after the third family that Lovino called Alfred up.
Alfred barely suppressed a snort. “Didn’t we agree on only two toilet paper rolls?”
Lovino rolled his eyes, wrapping more toilet paper around his arm. “I have to make sure it doesn’t rip, you jerk,” he huffed. “And plus, if I can pay for the toilet paper, I can use however much I want.”
Unlike Alfred’s simple chalk-to-the-face, Lovino went full out with an ashy-gray face and penned-in red scars. If Alfred didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought his boyfriend turned into a zombie-mummy.
“Anyways...” Lovino snapped Alfred out of his thoughts with a toilet paper roll shoved into his chest. “Could you wrap that around my chest? Please?”
Alfred complied, wrapping the paper around as Lovino stuck in as many pieces of medical tape as he could to secure it. The process, while time-consuming (and frustrating, especially when the tape itself ripped the paper), was easy enough. Soon, a mummy in tatters was stiffly walking out of the bathroom and down the stairs with bespectacled Dracula.
"You okay there?" Alfred laughed as Lovino tried to move his arms as little as possible. "Do you need help sitting down?" His smile only widened when Lovino sent an annoyed look his way.
They spent the night hanging out on the kitchen table eating cupcakes and answering the door to give away candy. The two of them commented on other kids' and sometimes parents' costumes behind their closed door, with mostly admiration for a child's costume and embarrassment for a grownup's. They received a few comments about their costumes, and they returned the favor with compliments of their own. It was a very relaxing night overall.
Soon enough, it was about nine o'clock, their refilled bowl whittling down to none and only two cupcakes left. Alfred's chalky face had diminished a bit, especially around the mouth area. Lovino had to pull off some of the toilet paper to get rid of stray frosting bits and sprinkles.
"We should do this next year," Alfred mused, taking Lovino's hand and squeezing.
Lovino squeezed back. "Mm. I suppose."
"Do bigger and better costumes. And hey, it'll be on a Thursday! More parties, probably!"
He only nodded, lacing Alfred's fingers into his own. "Spending time with you is enough," he muttered, resting his head on his hand. "I really liked spending the night with just you."
Alfred, miraculously, blushed through the chalk. It wasn't often Lovino got sappy.
"And I like making cupcakes too. They're fun." Lovino groaned, shifting in his seat. "Ugh, I wanna get out of this. I feel naked."
"Even with all that toilet paper?" Alfred teased, then helped Lovino up. "I feel over-dressed. This suit's gonna make me melt."
Lovino rolled his eyes. Their hands were still joined as they climbed up the stairs to the bedroom. "It was cold outside. You were fine. Me, on the other, hand, I almost froze my ass off--"
The bedroom door closed behind them, their light banter continuing through the night.
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Essul
Sleep is for the weak
Yet another mass of time traveling aus- much information redacted becuz I'm forgetful so this may be edited.
If the group somehow was traveling through Miamoorgyate, all cloaked in disguises and Sul manages to spot a little tot and spots the scales on her face and the style of her hair and the color of her eyes and is like "???...! That's Essie" in his head. And while watching, he realizes there's a woman holding this kid's hand as they walk. Essatha turns as Sul stops, watching as he impulsively moves forward. Essie reaches out to him and grabs his arm and reminds him firmly that they can't be messing with the past. And of course Sul understands this, but he reminds Essie, "We have an opportunity to save your mom." and he's confused. And with teary eyes, knowing they can't interfere, Essie just whispers "I know" as she watches her mom walking down the street, half bent over to hold smol her's hand.
In addition to the above: imagine Sul sneaking away from wherever the group is camping or staying nearby in the night and finding Essie's mom. And although she's frightened, demanding to know who he is and why he's following her, he offers his hands to her and heals her illness as she quizzically takes his offer. All he says is "Consider it a gift" and departs.
Option 1 for the above: Sul returns to the group. Everyone's in a panic. They turn to him, saying "Essatha just disappeared!" He's shocked. They're all frantically searching for her, explaining she literally just vanished before their eyes. Slowly, some of the group members start questioning who they were looking for as their memories of Essie begin to fade. Sul's last thoughts before her memory vanishes being one of hoping that doing this helped her somehow.
Opt 1 Bad Addition: Becuz Sul changed history, Sul is cursed as being the only one to remember Essie as the other group members forget. So when they finally return to their time, he goes out on a personal quest to find her. Oh by the way- in this case he finds out she was either murdered as well as her mom, kidnapped, or likewise, raised eventually by less than good individuals. Just- something bad. To make him feel bad. Doing a good deed doesn't always pay off. Or straight up Evil Essie due to circumstances in her life being different; scarred and missing an eye cliche.
Opt2: Just as Sul is about to heal Essie's mom, Essie shows up and fucking knocks into him so hard she startles him into nearly falling over. Essie's mom, panicked at this, flees. Essie then convinces Sul to follow her, despite his displeasure. He apologizes for upsetting her, and she's busy holding together her tattered mixed feelings as they leave town. Unfortunately, Essie's mom followed them, because there was something /familiar/ about that woman. So while Sul and Essie stop for Essie to scold him, her mom carrying a sleeping tot Essie in her mom comes up upon them. Essie panics and tells her to go, but Hepsiba her mum refuses. She hands Sul toddler Essie and tells him to hold her child as she walks over to Essie. Essie's openly sobbing now as her mom reaches out, gently cupping her face as she tears up now, and says, "I recognized those eyes. You're the most divine beauty I have ever laid eyes on." and then they're both hugging and Sul just- has a sleeping toddler in his arms. Cue eventually Essie and Hepsiba being done hugging and talking a bit to turn and see that toddler Essie has awoken and is now pulling on Sul's nostils, horns, climbing on him, lifting up his lip to poke at his canine teeth and he just mumbles to Essie's mum "You have a very curious child" while Adult Essie just flushes bright red. Haha awkward.
AU where the group fucks up trying to defeat an evil villain before he rises to power and mistakenly unleash a creature that tears through Sul's childhood home. They all just stare with shock staring at a child Sul crying, burned, his parents dead and house destroyed. The demigod of time they're with has to cut their Current Sul literally out of time so he doesn't just disappear then and there. Cue a lengthy press for time, trying to save Their Sul from vanishing while trying to change this new event from becoming the future. As they time jump, they have to deal with a slowly fading Sul. Slowly forgetting things, waking up with weird nightmares or visions of places he's never seen.
Opt1: While Sul and Essie are sleeping peacefully in bed, Essie wakes up to find Sul not waking up. She goes to fetch the others, and they realize none of them can wake him. The time traveler tries and he opens his eyes, but starts talking to someone they can't see. He can't seem to hear or see any of them. They're confused by the conversation as he speaks aloud, because they can only hear him. At one point he gasps in pain, blood seeping through his shirt from an unknown wound. Then another wound appears. They try healing him but it's not working for some reason. When Sul is released from his strange spell, he quickly tells everyone where to find the bad guy, and dies. They go to find the bad guy then, only to discover the bad guy's right-hand man is the Sulhadur from this universe, who is evil and convinced that helping this bad guy will save the world of all future suffering. He believes even if this event causes chaos and death, in the long run, it'll better the world so no one has to go through a horrible life of death, destruction, and bad shit.
With the above option, there's a thousand spin offs on if the group fights him, doesn't fight him, fights just the bad guy and knocks out this Evil Sul, whatever. It is agreed upon Essie would purposefully go Defensive solely upon this Sul and not fight him. She just finds she can't do it. She can't look at her Sul's face, even twisted in an evil hateful snarl, and think of hurting him.
It is revealed that Their Sul and Evil Sul were unable to co-exist in the same universe, and were trying to 'merge'. Therefore all of Sul's odd memories, his nightmares, etc were him being placed in the other Sul's body/head. Likewise, Evil Sul was sometimes very briefly within him. It was very disorientating for them both. Unfortunately, Evil Sul figured out what was happening after consoling his master and friends, so he was technically using this to his advantage to steal information from the group as they zeroed in on the bad guy group.
The group manages to win the day and end the bad guy's corruption. They're sent back to their original time, no problems, everyone's normal. If Sul is there or not depends on the au; there's a version where the demigod saved his soul and brought him back, there's one where he could not be brought back like the others and is now 'dead' or 'missing' from their world as through he didn't exist, and there's an au where he was 'reborn' from a younger version of himself.
In the 'reborn' variant, the group eventually goes to find Young Sul. They're all older than him by a number of years (he's probably in his late teens/early twenties- before becoming a paladin). He eventually quests as per usual to become a paladin, and funnily enough, the fates seem to align and bring him back into their lives at a bar years later.
Opt 2: Sul doesn't die, and when they get to the big bad, it's a Bad Fight because Their Sul is not as strong as Bad Sul, who started training younger in life and is a cheating, maniacal asshole. Least talked about au but there's a lot of bloodshed.
Opt 3: Their Sul dies, but the group does not beat the bad guys. They fail their objective, and are forced to remain in this new 'universe' they created- or at least, for now. They somehow managed to KO Evil Sul, and take him with them. Essie is Shook. This asswipe fucks with Essie's feelings too during the fight being like *smug face* "What's the matter you can't hurt me? You won't? Becuz I look like ur boyfran?"
Essie makes a Big Mistake being a heartbroken, selfish moron and wonders if she can 'fix' Evil Sul to be like Her Sul. She is stupid. We pity her.
The group accidently leaves her in charge of Evil Sul, who tricks her with her feelings acting like he can be like Their Sul. Sadly when Essie frees him of his bindings and whatever else, he continues playing her. Gently touching her face, acting sweet and genuine with warm eyes. Then it's Murder Time, and as Essie looks in his eyes and realizes this is not her Sweet Sul with soft eyes but Evil Boy and unreedemable as he gets snarky, he straight up slaughters her as the group is awakened by the sound of screaming.
On the plus side I guess, she somehow manages to end up in the same heaven as Their Sul and he flicks her in the head and tells her she just made a stupid move. Which is agreeable.
I'm forgetting a version in there I know I am. >:I Will think on it.
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I wonder what would happen if Dudley grew up in the wizarding world but still as a muggle? like kind of reverse AU where his parents are dead and he has to go to Lily for whatever reason? do you think he would become bitter like Petunia about magic?
Lily remembered her sister, how there had been a time she was curious and delighted about magic, before it slowly sank in that she could look and not touch.
The last thing Petunia had said to Lily before she died was a chilly goodbye, ending a holiday dinner where they’d had a shrieking row in the entryway. Petunia had said freak and Lily had hissed better than this, better than this being my whole fucking world, Tune, do you even see yourself, are you happy–
And now here was Dudley Vernon Dursley fussing himself to sleep as Lily walked the halls of the Godric’s Hollow house. His tiny soft hands with their tiny soft fingernails curled under her chin, the same way Harry always had.
She passed James, who was gently bouncing his way up the hall the opposite way. “I think he’s asleep,” James mouthed over Harry’s tousled head. His hair was the same mess, bent down to peer at his sleeping son.
Lily stopped where she stood, her nephew heavy on her chest, her husband smiling, her sister buried. “James,” she said. “How are we going to do this?”
“Oh,” he said. “Hey. Don’t you cry, you’ll start them off– unless you need to cry, I mean, you go ahead, hey, sweetheart, hey, it’s alright, you just let it out.” He stepped forward, shifting Harry gently to his other shoulder, and pressed his forehead to hers. “We tuck them in, okay, that’s what we do next. Then we go to our own bed, okay, and go to sleep, and when we wake up it’ll be a new day.”
“A new day,” she said. “Another day– James, that’s the– I’m so tired.”
“So let’s sleep. It’ll look better in the morning,” he said. “And if it doesn’t look better this morning, it’ll look better in the next one.”
“You promise?”
“Better than that. I’ll show you. Every day,” he said and kissed her cold forehead.
–
Dudley had not shown up on the Potters’ doorstep with the milk bottles. Lily had gotten a phone call from the landline she still had installed in Godric’s Hollow, about an accident, and she had gone down to the Muggle police station to identify the bodies.
The cupboard under the stairs was filled with spiders, broomsticks, and the sewing machine Lily’s mother had given her when she married James– that’s all. Dudley slept downstairs. Uncle Remus taught Dudley and Harry to knock out coded messages through the wall their rooms shared.
In the backyard, beside a rickety porch and an ambitious hedge, James taught them to fly– first on little tot brooms where their toes brushed the grass the whole time, then out of the barrels of practice brooms James used for lessons and coaching Little League Quidditch.
When the boys turned ten, five weeks apart, they both got shiny new Nimbuses on Dudley’s birthday (which came first), and a set of enchanted Quidditch balls on Harry’s, to share. The Bludgers were enchanted to be very kind but Dudley spent long afternoons whacking them far afield while Harry chased the Snitch at his back.
Harry had a scar on his forehead, like a jagged bit of lightning. Dudley had no scars– the car crash that had killed his parents hadn’t touched him where he sat strapped into a car seat in the back, chewing on a stuffed dinosaur toy.
Lily did not believe in lying to the children. She was bare years off being a child herself, and spare moments on the far side of a war. When Dudley asked about his parents, she told him there had been an accident. She pulled pictures off the shelf and wrote Petunia’s old university friends for more.
Photographs came by mailman, the images still and unnatural to Dudley’s eye. Every day he’d gone out to play, for years, he’d been waving at the picture near the back door of his aunt and uncle on their wedding day, and they waved back every time.
“She was very clever,” Lily said. “Your mom liked to know everything.”
“And my dad?”
“Vernon liked… cars?” James offered. “That’s the word, right, Lily?”
“I didn’t know him very well,” Lily said. “He liked drills, I think; he worked for a firm that made them, and he talked about that a lot.”
Dudley brushed his thumbs over the dull edges of the photos. When Lily went off to Auror headquarters the next morning for work, James bundled the boys up and took them on an impromptu invisible tour of Grunnings Drill Manufacturing Inc.
They tiptoed down halls and past water coolers and ringing fellytones. They held hands under the Cloak as they dodged around the machines on the manufacturing floor, thumping and pounding and whirring away loudly enough that Harry and Dudley could whisper to each other under the noise. An elevator took them all the way up to the top floor. Harry whistled cheerily and eerily along with the elevator music while the Muggles slowly edged toward the doors and pressed floor buttons lower than they’d originally wanted.
There were boxes and cabinets and folders and desks and staticky monitor screens full of numbers strewn in endless grids. “Merlin’s knuckles,” said Harry, who was seven and a half and rather proud of this expletive. “People can look at this all day, their whole lives, and not die?”
“Work is hard work,” said James.
“At least mum gets to curse things.”
“But my dad liked it?” Dudley said, peering at a white board that was bleeding enthusiastic marker. “There’s a lot of things, here. Maybe he liked knowing things, too.”
When the boys asked about the scar on Harry’s forehead, Lily and James looked at each other. “You know how sometimes we sit with Uncle Remus and talk about a war?” James said. “Or with Ms. Amelia or Mr. Mundungus.”
“Mr. Mundungus is kinda smelly,” Harry said helpfully.
“It’s not nice to say so though,” said James, and Lily made a face.
“Are we raising them to be nice?” Lily said.
“I’m trying,” said James.
“You talk about a war,” said Harry and shrugged. Dudley nodded.
“There was a very bad man, in those days,” said James.
“Voldemort,” said Lily, and James made a face.
“He was so scary a lot of people don’t like to say his name, even now,” said James. “And he was coming after us because we had been fighting against him, in the war. He came to the house and he tried to hurt you, Harry. But it didn’t work. It hurt him instead, and gave you that scar.”
“Is he going to come back?” said Dudley, who was paler than his normal pink.
“No one’s heard of him since then,” said Lily.
“Where were you?” said Harry, because all his life they had been right there.
“Oh,” said Lily, but her throat closed up.
“We were at Dudley’s mum and dad’s funeral,” said James. “Our friend– our friend Sirius was watching you two. The bad man, he came to the house. He. Well. I.”
“Sirius died,” said Lily, one hand squeezing James’s knee and the other reaching down to brush hair off Dudley’s forehead. “You lived, Harry, and Voldemort vanished. And that’s why sometimes people stare in the streets, baby.” James tweaked Harry’s collar absently.
–
Two days after they had buried Lily’s sister, the Potters had stood together in the first chills of November and buried James’s brother.
Sirius had been burned off the Black family tree years before. Lily and James had talked to his cousin Andromeda, to Remus, and then they had laid him to rest in the Potter family plot. At the wake, they’d told old jokes about squirrel breath, shedding, and man’s best friend. Remus had fallen asleep on their couch and stayed for a month.
–
It took a two hour row with HR for Lily to get two passes to the Ministry’s Bring Your Kid To Work Day.
“He’s a Muggle.”
“He’s not,” Lily snapped. “He’s family.”
She had to get permission, sign a million forms, and she also had to take the boys in early so that Dudley could get smothered in the spells that would keep the Anti-Muggle wards around the Ministry from activating on him. “If a Muggle stumbles in somehow, they just see a funny-smelling supply cabinet and turn back around,” Lily told Dudley. He nodded and dragged Harry off by the wrist to go look at the fountain.
The windows were pouring sunlight into the underground room– the maintenance workers had just gotten a win on their contract negotiations and had banished the grimy rain-spattered windows of the previous weeks. The light hit the falling water, the golden statues, and the small excitable crowd of Ministry dependents who were gathering in the atrium. Dudley was fishing about in the fountain for Knuts to toss back out again, elbow-deep, and Harry was laughing and coming up with weird wishes to make on them.
Lily hadn’t said son. She’d said family, and that was true enough, wasn’t it? She didn’t say son– she had a son, and she had a nephew, a ward, another child who came to her after nightmares and scraped knees. It was not less, it was just words.
Lily worried about stealing more things from Petunia. Tuney had shrieked at her, in ladies’ restrooms and suburban foyers, had hissed at her in grocery store aisles and family dinners, because Lily got everything. And now Lily had her son.
Lily could just imagine it– could just see Petunia’s face twisting and chin stabbing at the air. You could have anything, and you took my son– my son!
“You left him to me,” Lily whispered, but that wasn’t quite right. “You left,” she whispered, and that wasn’t quite right either, so she strode off toward the fountain to ask the boys if they wanted to go see the Auror spellwork ranges. Dudley’s sodden shirt sleeves dripped all over the Ministry floors. Harry’s hair fell down into his eyes and they both grinned bright enough to rival the spelled sunlight.
Keep Reading (Ao3)
When Harry was eleven years old, his Hogwarts letter came by owl. He’d been accidentally blowing windows open and lighting cauliflower on fire for years. James took Harry to go get his wand at Ollivanders, and Lily took Dudley to the Owl Emporium where he tried to convince her they should build an aviary in the backyard. They came home with a fat black cat who hissed at everyone. Dudley named him Spooks, and Lily called him Monster.
“Did you have to?” said James. “That is the meanest beast I’ve ever met, and I’ve known Remus unmedicated on full moons and a pubescent Sirius thwarted in love.”
Lily, who had ink on her cheek and a ballpoint pen stuck behind her ear, waved vaguely at the living room without looking up from her arrest report. Dudley was asleep in an armchair. The cat sprawled across his lap. Both its front paws were wrapped around Dudley’s arm as it cleaned his wrist with aggressive fondness.
“Alright,” said James. “Yeah, you had to.”
When Ginny Weasley ran shouting after the train carrying her littlest big brother away to his first year of school, her arms waving madly, her heart desperate to go along, there was a pudgy, pink-cheeked boy racing next to her. Ginny’s arms were little twigs compared to Dudley’s and they waved and waved, bumping elbows and giggling as their shouts grew competitively louder.
“Send me letters!”
“Send me a real Snitch!”
“Send me a hippogriff!”
“We’ll send you a toilet seat!” Fred hollered back over the rumble and shriek of the train, and Dudley giggled so hard he had to sit down.
“Hi,” she said. “I’m Ginny Weasley.”
“Dudley Dursley,” he said and took the hand she offered.
Every visible speck of her was freckly, her hair in a bushy red tail down her back. Dudley liked her immediately. “I’m so mad,” Ginny said cheerfully, while Dudley dusted off his backside. “I want on that train.”
Dudley didn’t say “me, too,” but he did bounce back to where their parents–his guardians–had clustered together to see if they could all get some ice cream.
It was the first year the boys wouldn’t be home together, getting homeschooled by James and taken on educational adventures. Harry wrote home about the Gryffindor Quidditch team, about trolls, feasts, and a Professor Snape. For the first, they shipped him his broom. For the last, Lily charged down to the school to yell at someone named Severus.
Dudley and James did homeschool most mornings, scribbling at the kitchen table or with James conjuring presentations and scrawling light into the air of the backyard. Dudley’s afternoons he split between Little League Quidditch practice or frowning over his homework either on the grass sidelines near one of James’s flying lessons or some spare spot in the Ministry. Sometimes he went on field trips with Uncle Remus, who tried very hard to get Dudley to call Harry’s dad Uncle Jimmy.
Lily had a bit of extra desk space in her cubicle, but her papers tended to spread everywhere, even when they weren’t flying enchanted memos. Dudley would sit in the cafe in the atrium (where people chewed on soggy sandwiches and burnt coffee), or in the spare keys room when Miss Higgins was on shift (her daughter was off at Hogwarts now, and she said she missed the company), or down in the dark quiet of the archives (on days when the noises felt noisier and the lights felt harsher and every time someone slurped a coffee just wrong Dudley wanted to hit something, but instead he had to read limericks).
On weekends (or particularly glorious weekdays), the Weasley’s battered family owl would swoop through the Potters’ open kitchen window because Ginny required a playmate.
She’d gone shy for a week after figuring out Dudley’s cousin was The Harry Potter, but his uncle’s spare brooms and Harry and Dudley’s set of Quaffle, Bludgers, and Snitch was really too much to resist. James would bring Dudley and their trunk of Quidditch supplies over and sit with Mrs. Weasley until their kids stumbled in, sweaty and beaming, looking for sweets and soft surfaces to collapse on.
If Dudley finished his homework early when he was at work with Lily, he’d help the cafe staff count the sacks of coffee beans in the pantry, or run spare keys places for Miss Higgins, or go down and lug file boxes around for Ms. Gorbachek, who ruled the archives with a steely squint and gravelly voice.
The day Mrs. Gorbachek let him do some sorting not just carrying he skipped all the way up the stairs to Lily’s desk to tell her. Lily wrapped her scarf around her neck, shaking her head. “Got your pop’s eye for boring detail, I guess,” Lily said.
But she smiled and kissed him on top of the head, so Dudley pushed out his chest proudly and said, “Yep.”
Harry came home that summer with stories of a third floor corridor, a magic stone, a man with two faces. Lily and James had worried little discussions in the kitchen and some talks with Harry about Common Sense and Not Dying Young.
They spent a good half the summer at the Burrow, or with redheads filling the Godric’s Hollow house with noise. Harry and Ron bumped elbows while Dudley circled and nibbled on his thumbnails, considering this new Best Friend of his cousin’s. “He’s alright?” he asked Ginny and Ginny shrugged.
“For a big brother,” she said. But then Harry turned their way so she went bright red and vanished to help her mother with the dishes.
Fred and George were loud, but alright. They taught Dudley some tricks with the Bludger that he absorbed with a furrowed brow. Percy seemed like he might be fun to talk about boring detail things with, but he didn’t seem to care about the Ministry archiving system when Dudley tried to bring it up.
Dudley also met Hermione Granger that summer, when she came to visit. She talked too fast and had more impressive hair than Lily even. “We fought off a mountain troll together,” said Harry. “And a three-headed dog!”
“What,” said Dudley. “Can we get one? Harry, ask your mum. AUNT LILY CAN WE GET A THREE HEADED DOG PLEASE.”
“I don’t think Monster would approve,” Lily said without looking up from her paperwork. James flipped pancakes on the stove while Hermione chattered happily at him about the culinary anthropology of the dish.
“Oh, yeah,” said Dudley, and went to go give Monster some head scritches in apology. The cat purred loud enough shake the walls and hissed when Harry came over to say hello.
–
It was a full moon, and with a bellyful of potion Remus was sleeping harmless on their hearth. Dudley had his head pillowed on Remus’s shaggy belly and Lily could hear her sister whispering freak.
Lily got a blanket to cover them, and then she sat in the crackling firelight and spoke to her ghosts.
I don’t know what you would have wanted, Petunia. I don’t know if you would’ve hated me for this, but you’re not here and we are.
Dudley has got me and James and Harry and Remus. He’s got a terrible monster cat that loves him to pieces. He can fly– and maybe you would have hated that I gave him a broomstick, but I saw you break your own heart, once, and I think it was my fault.
I would’ve made you flowers from leaves every morning, Tuney. I would’ve walked you up and down Diagon Alley every Sunday, looked in the windows, taught you how to feed the owls out of the palm of your hand. James would have snuck you into Hogwarts and we could have sat out by the lake and watched the water.
Would that have helped?
–
Ginny went off to Hogwarts, too, the next year. Dudley moped around for months, even though Mrs. Weasley had him and James over for tea on the regular. Ginny’s letters grew weird, and then stopped coming. Dudley figured it was probably something he had written. The government testers who came by now and then to check on his homeschooling said he was below grade level average for writing, but he was trying.
The homeschooled wizards on his youth Quidditch team said they had magical school authorities coming to test them (Dudley had Muggle ones), but James had registered Dudley with the Ministry as a squib (lacking other useful options) so they didn’t bother. Dudley was grateful about not having to go through two rounds of testing, but something still sat weird on his stomach about it all. The homeschooled squibs on Dudley’s team shrugged and said no one bothered to come grade them at all.
That year, they made it to the semi-finals before they got kicked out. Lily took afternoons out of office to see them play. She sat in the stands and thought look, Tuney.
Dudley noticed the Bludgers were getting cleverer, so he spent more time in the backyard after James helped him change the settings on his practice Bludger. The youth Cup that year went to a fierce little team from a cottage schoolhouse in one of the wizarding villages. James and Dudley watched the final match and talked smugly about how Harry was a better Seeker, and scornfully about their Beaters’ lacks of good form.
Harry came home for Christmas as always, with little packets for each of them. “There’s a Muggleborn photographer at school,” Harry said, as Dudley scrabbled with his gift’s wrapping paper. “This first-year. He’s been turning his Muggle photos into moving ones all year, so I asked him how. He made me sign some stuff.
The gift ripped open in Dudley’s lap and a book of photos fells open in his lap– moving pictures, like every picture he knew except (until now) the ones that held these two faces. Petunia and Vernon squinted up at their son and Dudley stared. Harry smiled.
At the end of the school year, Dudley learned why Ginny had gone quiet. Harry came home with stories again (Lily and James had more stressed conferences in the kitchen), and with a sinking stomach Dudley listened to him talk about basilisks and diaries and blood-red writing on the wall. There was a lot of stomach to sink. Even with weekly Quidditch and file boxes to lug about, Dudley was growing up and out. He had big meaty hands and a few spare hairs coming in on his chin, while Harry was still small and bony, grinning and shoving his hair out of his eyes.
Dudley tugged on James’s sleeve, after Harry’s welcome home dinner. "Can we go visit the Burrow tomorrow?”
“If they’re up for company,” James said.
Dudley brought all their Quidditch equipment– the balls, the bats, the brooms. Mrs. Weasley fussed around the kitchen, seeming unable to keep still. Ginny didn’t touch her tea but she could be tempted out by a good broom and a blue sky.
“You wanna talk about it?” said Dudley, when they were getting the Quaffle out of a tree it had gotten stuck in.
Ginny shifted laterally through the air, thighs clamped tight around the broom. The brisk breeze tossed the tree’s heavy limbs and threw her hair about. “No,” she said.
“I’m not very good at talking anyway,” he said.
“You’re fine, Duds.”
He came back all that summer, sometimes with Harry and sometimes without. They played Quidditch out in the orchard, or walked out to the edges of the fields, swordfighting with long stalks of grass, or Dudley studied at the Weasley kitchen table, trying to wrap his mind around subordinate clauses and bezoars.
There were no dementors at Hogwarts in Harry’s third year, but on a visit to his mother’s office he and Dudley got lost in the lowest courtroom levels– well, Dudley let Harry lead and grinningly watched him get lost. A pair of dementors were part of the escort of an Azkaban prisoner there for a deposition, and when Harry passed them by he dropped limp onto the floor. Cold sank ugly fingers into Dudley’s stomach, but he hauled his skinny cousin up by the armpits and ran for the stairs.
“I heard Uncle Sirius,” Harry said on the couch later, wrapped in blankets. Lily broke off another chocolate square for him and Dudley hovered. “When the dementors were– I heard the night he died, I think. Dudley crying, and Sirius cursing. He curses just like Mum.”
“He ought to,” Lily said. “I taught him everything he knew.”
She broke off a few more chocolate squares; one went to James. “I’ll go start dinner,” James said, but when Dudley went to follow, Lily wrapped a warm hand around his wrist.
“Sit with Harry, okay? Thank you, sweetheart.”
James went out flying that night, so late that Lily couldn’t wait up. When he came back to bed, his skin was cold from high, thin air but she wrapped herself all around him anyway. They slept in a tangle of long limbs and when they woke in the morning they were both warm.
Harry told his Uncle Remus the same story, leading up to asking about Patronus lessons at school. Remus said, “Yes, he did. Curse, you know,” and then asked Harry to come back later. He had to find a boggart for their lessons. He had to sit, quiet, and watch the trees shake outside the window.
Thirteen was the year when Lily gave Dudley his own sack of Floo powder and taught him how to use it. “It’s magical all by itself,” said Lily. “So you don’t have to be.”
Dudley nodded seriously. “Uncle James taught me about it’s occultochemical properties last year.”
“Leaving me to teach you the useful bits, of course,” Lily said (James, in the next room, laughed).
Even with Ginny at school, Dudley used his newfound Floo freedoms to go visit the Burrow. Mrs. Weasley patted his cheeks (survivable), offered him whatever food they had on hand (ideal), and showed him the photographs of dragons, tombs, and baklava that Charlie and Bill sent with their letters (excellent).
“Uncle James says my dad liked cars,” said Dudley around a mouthful of treacle. “Harry says you have one?”
“Oh, yes,” Molly said blackly, but Arthur beamed at Dudley as though unaware of the look his wife was giving him.
“Here, yes,” said Arthur. “Out in the shed, up, c'mon.”
“Finish your tea first!”
He and Harry coordinated to meet up in Hogsmeade during Hogwarts’s day trips there. They sampled their way through Honeydukes, poked through the joke shop, and threw snow balls in the streets. Harry went up the hill to roll his eyes at the Shrieking Shack with Ginny, Ron, and Hermione, but Dudley ducked out and waited for him in the Three Broomsticks instead, nursing a butterbeer and glaring at his homework.
Everyone always recognized Harry– when the kid knocked the doors open and stamped snow off his boots, Dudley could see strangers watching his cousin. The only people who recognized Dudley were the ones who sometimes brought signs to his Quidditch games that made James go tight around his mouth. Dudley spun his mug slowly on the wood, trying to watch it and not to watch Harry make his way through a sea of stares and smiles.
–
“Field trip,” said James. “Up, up, up and at ‘em, kiddo.”
Dudley pulled himself up to sitting, among his heavy blankets and soft comforter. “Wha?”
“There’s some friends of mine I’d like you to meet,” James said, stretching his grin and waggling his eyebrows in a way the boys had tried to mimic back as children. Harry could almost do it. Dudley wiggled his eyebrows now in pale approximation and James said, “Misters Moony, Padfoot, Wormtail, and Prongs.”
They went out to Hogsmeade, which Dudley knew rather well now. While James gave distracted storytelling and explanation Dudley gathered up all the fragments he was going to have to tell Harry later– “They came up with fancy nicknames for themselves, Harry, like dweebs,” he scripted in his head. “Also Uncle James can turn into a giant deer.”
They went down into the cellar of Honeydukes under the Invisibility Cloak and then down the long hidden passage to the school. “Are we supposed to be here?” said Dudley. The stones in the walls were getting bigger, like the castle knew it was important and wanted to let you know as you approached. He could feel the Anti-Anti-Muggle-ward-wards Aunt Lily had gotten for him shifting under new weight.
“What’s supposed to?” said James. “C'mon, pop quiz time. Let’s be responsible members of an educational system. When was Hogwarts founded?”
“Um, around 990 C.E. The castle was conjured and created, rather than built, and maintains a degree of personality and,” Dudley gulped, eyeing the shadows, “life.”
Every moment of life Dudley could remember had been lived in a magical world. He’d scrubbed at Molly Weasley’s kitchen counter while dishes washed themselves in the sink. He’d napped in the great black belly of the Ministry, where sometimes the walls whispered, where memos flew and wizards carried sparking boxes that were bigger on the inside and also full of dragons.
But he stepped out into Hogwarts and his heart almost stopped under the heavy velvet of the Cloak.
“I’ll show you how to break into the kitchens,” James said. “We can say hi to the House Elves, and then we’ll go surprise Harry on his free period.”
Dudley followed him silently down the hallways, past paintings and ghosts and suits of armor. He thought about Ginny on the train platform saying, “I’m so mad.” He thought about Ginny sleeping warm and high in the Gryffindor Tower now, which he had only read about. He wasn’t mad–he didn’t think he was mad–but his stomach rolled and rolled. He tried to swallow it down. He tried to smile when Harry startled out of his seat when they found him. He went home and practiced with his bat and the Bludger until it got dark.
–
In the late fall of Harry’s third year at Hogwarts, Auror Lily Potter came across a report of a sighting of a unregistered rat Animagus in Scotland. Between rookie trainings and other cases, she pored over the reports and Apparated out to conduct interviews. Ignoring proper protocol, she told her husband about it over Christmas dinner, when her son and that year’s Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher had come home to visit.
Peter had stood behind Sirius and Remus, the day Lily married James. He’d given a speech. She’d seen him tagging at James’s heels, always– back in the days when she’d hated them all; during the war when they’d all gotten quieter and quieter except for Sirius, who had started bursting and burning at the seams; and all those days between.
In the early spring, she found him. Peter was laid out in a meadow behind a little stone church, his eyes open to the sky. The body was unmarked. Lily stood in the cold morning air, breathing out curls of mist, and thought about what it meant to do the unforgivable.
When they came home from Petunia’s funeral, the doors of their house had been open to the night. Muggle children had been playing trick or treat at the unhidden houses on the street. They had come home, Lily tucked under James’s arm, to that door, to two twin wails pouring down the stairs. They were supposed to be hidden, supposed to be safe, supposed to be a secret kept in a friend’s pocket. They had hit the stairs at a run, wands out. Sirius had been laid out on the polka dot rug of the nursery, eyes open. The body had been unmarked. Two days after Lily buried her sister, James had buried his brother.
Lily called the scene in from the little meadow while the morning dew sank into the hems of her robes.
A few days later, she heard from Harry’s letters that Remus had been out sick for a week, locked up in his rooms, quiet, quiet, quiet, too sick to open the door to anyone. “Tell him to rest up,” she wrote, and let the Pettigrew case report slip beneath the other papers on her desk.
–
The Quidditch World Cup was a massive deal. Dudley’s Quidditch team kept nearly falling off their brooms from excitement at summer practice. Several of the kids showed up with their faces painted green all week long. Their Seeker and Seeker sub both showed up with red-painted faces soon after and when asked why just took turns repeating “Krum, Krum. Krum.”
The Weasleys and the Potters got nosebleed seats together, sharing a massive tent between themselves and Hermione. Either she had learned to speak slower, or Dudley was able to catch more of it. When she heard he’d been helping the Ministry archivists on odd afternoons, she dragged him off for an interrogation that turned gleeful on both sides.
But in the night, the Death Eaters came. James had been taking Dudley through wizarding history lessons for years, both modern and ancient. He recognized the sign that lit up the sky. He recognized the masks and hoods. They sent a family of unconscious Muggles spiraling through the air and Dudley stared up at them even as James dragged him through the crowd.
Dudley had been seeing Charlie’s postcards for ages at Mrs. Weasley’s table. He had heard about Norbert the illegal dragon baby from Harry, squashed under a blanket on the sofa during a summer rainstorm. So while his guardians had stressed conferences in the kitchen about the Triwizard tournament Harry was nominally too young to have even entered, Dudley sat petting Monster’s fur excitedly in the wrong direction because Mr. Weasley had said Charlie was coming to help with the first task.
When they met Charlie after the first task (Harry had outflown a dragon, Aunt Lily had cursed the air around her blue in the spectator stands, etc), he didn’t disappoint. “You’re Ginny’s friend!” he said and shook Dudley’s hand enthusiastically. “Want to meet some dragons?” He did, in fact.
I wish you could see how he’s grown up, Tune, Lily said while Dudley burned bacon at breakfast with Monster wailing distressed counterpoint at his feet.
I wish you were here, Lily said, watching Dudley wobble through the archive stacks with his arms piled high with file boxes, muttering shelving shorthand to himself. She passed Mrs. Gorbachek a set of returned files across the polished wood of her desk. I wish you had gotten to know him.
Lily oversaw autopsies and Quidditch matches, planned birthday parties and stings, stood in line at the butcher’s shop and at the stand in the courts on the lowest floor of the Ministry.
I wish you weren’t dead, Tune.
Dudley turned fourteen, and Harry did the same five weeks later. They baked him a big squishy molasses cake and sent it up to Hogwarts by stasis spell and owl. For Dudley they made a big chocolate cake and had it for breakfast for a week.
I wish, I wish, I wish.
That year, Dudley’s Quidditch team took second in the national league. Harry got third in the second Triwizard task, while Dudley and the Potters and the Weasleys all watched from shore. Dudley watched Lily and James hug Harry, ruffle his hair, call him brave– he tried not to, but he watched, and the hugs looked just the same as when he had landed on the green field, gripping his bat, knowing he’d fought his hardest. He punched Harry lightly in the arm and said, “Who knew you could swim.”
Dudley dreamed of the World Cup, the green light twisting in the sky, a Muggle woman’s floral print dress and her slack face a lethal distance from the ground
When he woke sweaty and wheezing under the blanket Ms. Gorbachek had quilted for him, he padded out to make himself some warm milk. He told himself Aunt Lily didn’t wear floral dresses, and she wasn’t a Muggle anyway. Monster circled his ankles and he told himself that Uncle James was asleep upstairs, and he’d been right at Dudley’s elbow all through that panicked, crushed rush back to the Portkey. He sipped his hot milk and thought about those circling, limp bodies, and the hate marching and singing below. He thought it wasn’t them, it couldn’t have been them. He thought but it could’ve been me, and then he went back to bed with Monster grumbling at his heels.
When Harry came back that summer, he was quieter. Dudley found him in the kitchen some nights, when he padded out to make hot milk. Harry nibbled at the giant pile of chocolate Uncle Remus had carted over at the start of June, and Dudley made two mugs of milk. Dudley asked who Cedric was, because the wall between their rooms was thin. If they sat long enough and quiet enough, Monster would even come out and rub up against Harry’s shins.
With the next year came Dolores Umbridge.
Lily went up the the school to shout, and James went to give Harry some chocolate and also the Invisibility Cloak and the Map. And then they both went up to the Ministry to shout some more, and Dudley went down to the archive level to read about eighty years of educational policies. Ginny wrote him scathing letters about Professor Toadface and gave vague indifferent mentions to the detentions and punishments. Harry wrote about Quidditch, no matter what questions Dudley sent his way. Dudley sent back first aid kits that Miss Higgins at the spare keys room helped him put together, and gingersnaps Remus helped him bake. Lily had already gotten a restraining order from Rita Skeeter during the Tournament the previous year, or she’d have camped outside her office. As it was, she just sent weekly Howlers.
The night Harry dreamed of Uncle Remus writhing in the Department of Mysteries, the night they left Umbridge to the centaurs and Grawp, the night the beating heart of the DA flew thestrals over London, the night one of the last two Marauders died, Dudley slept well.
The hedge outside the window tapped familiarly on the glass. He didn’t wake when Kingsley Shacklebolt’s Patronus woke Lily and James, when they activated the wards over the house, or when their Apparations cracked the silence of the night. He rolled over in his heavy blankets and Monster paced the boundaries of his room, glaring at shadows.
Lily and James brought Harry home. He’d go back to Hogwarts in a week to finish out the remains of the year, but when Dudley woke up sandy-eyed in the morning his cousin was out on the sofa, wrapped up in a quilt, with Monster purring uproariously in his skinny lap. James and Lily were in the kitchen, bent over the empty table. Silence sat heavy in the air. They were all still in pajamas, but James had dirt on his knees as though he’d fallen.
“What happened?” said Dudley. The syllables dropped off his tongue like pebbles and he wished he was better at this, whatever this was.
They buried Remus in the same dirt as Sirius, the Potter family plot. It was an empty casket, but it was the thought that counted, surely.
You horrendous, angry boys, thought Lily to her ghosts. Sirius, you loved James too much to like me, until I fought my way in. You selfish, arrogant prick, that was never your call, but you figured it out eventually.
We don’t laugh as much, with you gone. We try, but you’re not here. You lost boy, you brave, brave man, you died for my children, thank you. But that had been so long ago.
Remus, she thought, and squeezed James’s hand so hard it must hurt. Remus, I don’t know how we’re going to do this without you.
James squeezed back and they ached there, in the cold, until the sun had almost gone. Then they went home. Harry and Dudley knocked out good nights on their shared bedroom wall in a way they hadn’t in years. Lily and James slept in a tangled pile, once they got to sleep at all. They woke up warm but it didn’t mean much. They stayed wrapped up in each other until they heard their children banging about downstairs.
Harry burnt the bacon, and Dudley burnt the toast, and James tasted the tea with exaggerated trepidation. “Even we can’t burn water,” Harry said.
“But I have so much faith in you, my son,” James said.
Harry had been quiet the previous summer, but this summer he was angry. It was less quiet. James turned the settings on the Bludger up as high as they would go and sent Harry out back with Dudley’s bat to work things out.
When Dudley went with Lily to the Ministry next, he didn’t head straight down to the archives after he left her at her desk, which was creaking under the weight of documents. He took the stairs slowly, past the squawking and smells of the magical creatures division, the Quidditch posters on the next floor, the flying memos and the swelling roll of workplace chatter.
The fountain in the atrium was flowing clean, over the gilded statues of witch, wizard, and creature. Dudley walked by it and got a doughy brownie from the dinky little cafe. Over midnights and warm milk, Harry had told him about Remus, about cold intent crawling in through his veins, about a voice behind his eyes that had twisted him all over this floor.
Chewing on his brownie, Dudley climbed down further, to the Department of Mysteries. Its operatives came down to the archives, sometimes, to pick up old dusty fileboxes and only sometimes to bring them back. He stood outside their unobtrusive doors and thought about sleeping sound in his bed. He thought about his family in dirty pajamas on a morning that should have been unremarkable. He thought about pebbles falling from his tongue, the ripples they made, and then he took the elevator to the archive room and buried the rest of his day into something that made sense.
James broke down crying over a bowl of Remus’s gingersnap dough. Dudley broke his nose in Quidditch practice and Harry healed it up with a spell he’d learned from his mother. Lily got a commendation from the Auror’s Office and Harry went back to school.
James had tea with Molly while Arthur and Dudley fiddled with the Ford Angola. Dudley fell asleep at the table, narrowly missing a plateful of spaghetti, and Lily heard her sister whisper you got everything.
Lily got up and took the dishes to the sink. She turned on the hot water and watched the steam rise. There were spells for this, but she had grown up burying her hands in scalding water and suds.
I buried you, she told her ghosts. I loved you and I screamed at you and I buried you and I raised your child. I took him in, and I buried you.
She woke Dudley gently and pointed him toward bed. James wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her temple.
Go away, Petunia, she thought. Go to sleep. Leave me be. I’m not strong enough to think of all the ways you might have hated me for this.
I buried my sister. I buried my brothers. My sons are here, and that is where I need to live.
She pressed her cheek into James’s sleeping shoulder that night and told herself, you’re alive, you’re alive, you’re alive.
Harry wrote home about Horcruxes and Lily marched down to Hogwarts to have some Words with Dumbledore. Severus Snape, now the DADA teacher, tried to catch her attention in the hallways, but she snapped, “I hear you made Neville Longbottom cry in class again, Sev. Bad form,” and kept walking.
She came home with balled fists and told James, “We’ve got some extracurriculars. Dudley, baby, you might have to do some more independent study this year.”
“Mrs. Gorbachek wants to re-do the east archives into a new organizational scheme,” Dudley said. “It’s gonna be a lot of my time anyway.”
Lily and James had a quiet conference in the kitchen, talking about snakes and cups and lockets. Dudley spent the next afternoon with Miss Higgins, putting together new first aid kits. Lily worked the very barest number of hours for the Aurors– “Grief,” she told them, batting damp eyelashes, when they asked after her performance– and Dudley spent a lot of nights alone in the house. The ward spells buzzed at the windows and he and Monster sat up late, waiting for a pair of cracks to sound in the back yard.
They got the news of Harry and Ginny’s new joint romantic adventure by owl post– several owls. Ron wrote, and Hermione, and Fred and George though they weren’t even in Hogwarts anymore, and a weird little snide note from Snape that Lily threw away. Harry and Ginny wrote, too, of course, and Dudley sat and chewed his cereal and thought. He was pretty sure someone was owed a protective older-brother-style speech here, but he wasn’t sure who.
Dudley had never met the Hogwarts headmaster, but Harry came home gaunt after Dumbledore died. Dudley pried the story out of him over warm milk and excess chocolate, in the quiet before noisy dawns. “Hm,” said Dudley finally. “I think you’ve seen enough people die in front of you, goodness gracious,” Dudley said, and Harry choked on a laugh.
Dudley pushed some more chocolate at him. “I always wanted to go to Hogwarts,” he said. “I wanted to be– like you. Not just,” he hesitated, “looking in, I guess.”
“Duds, I’m sorry,” said Harry. “I–”
Dudley crinkled the candy wrapper. “Not your fault. I figured that one out– I’m not dumb.”
“I know you’re not.”
“And anyway,” said Dudley. “Your life kind of sucks. So I’m okay being me, I guess.”
Lily sent in her resignation before the fading Ministry could fire her, or fall. They boarded up Godric’s Hollow and went to Grimmauld Place, which Sirius had left to Remus, and which Remus had left to them.
The Weasleys came, and some of James’s fellow homeschooling families, the remains of the Order of the Phoenix and half the DA.
Lily and Harry had a terrible row in a dusty sitting room, shaking cobwebs from the rafters, when Harry told her he was going after the last Horcruxes. Molly straightened couch cushions and made little approving noises whenever Lily said something effective. Dudley bumped elbows with James, and they all listened to the shouting.
“I’m seventeen–”
“I’m a trained fucking Auror, and I am scared of what may come to us, and you are a schoolkid. I’m not sending you out to–”
“How old were you?” Harry demanded. Lily threw her hands up in the air.
“There’s only so much loss I can take,” said James, very softly, and that shut them both up for a short moment.
“I’m sorry, dad,” said Harry, sounding like he might need to catch his breath. “But I’m in this fight, whether you can take it or not.”
“Harry–”
“We’re all in this,” said Dudley and the room went quiet again.
“Dudley,” Molly said, wringing her skirts. “But you’re a– well, dear–”
“I’m a Potter,” he said. “Or close enough,” he said and Lily’s face crumpled briefly. “I can’t sit this out.”
“Yes, you can, baby,” said Lily.
Dudley shook his head. All his words felt like stones and he didn’t know how to spit them out without bruising someone. “I won’t,” he said.
“Me, either,” said Ginny, and that set off a whole other round of shouting.
When Bill and Fleur’s wedding was broken up by bad news, Harry grabbed Hermione who grabbed Ron. Fred grabbed George who grabbed Ginny who grabbed Dudley, and the world puckered around them.
Dudley threw up in the bushes beside the little road they’d Apparated onto. Fred pat his back and said, “Us Beaters better stick together, eh?” George conjured him a wet cloth to clean his face and Ginny stood ready for a fight.
“Oh calm down, tiny,” Fred said, flicking at a strand of her hair. “Like we’re going to try to stop you. C'mon, Lee’s got a scheme.”
Lily and James had gotten the sword and the cup from Bellatrix’s vault the previous year. Dumbledore had destroyed the ring, and Harry had unknowingly gotten to the diary when he was twelve years old (When Lily had heard more details of that night and that fight, from Dumbledore, she had nearly lit his old beard on fire).
While Dudley flew secrets, objects, and personnel among the operative of Lee Jordan’s radio, Harry, Hermione, and Ron broke into Dolores Umbridge’s office in the Ministry. Miss Higgins from the spare key desk got them in, and out, a tarnished locket tight in Hermione’s fist.
Ron listened for Fred and George’s voices on the radio, during those long cold days. Harry listened for Dudley, who brought reports and news back from his flights. He went out armed with a Beater’s bat, normally paired up with Viktor Krum, who’d come over from the continent, and Ginny.
When they discovered the diadem was in Hogwarts, Hermione sent out the call. Dudley grabbed Krum and Ginny, Fred and George and Lee, and went for the passage in Honeydukes’s cellar that James had shown him once.
Ron and Hermione got the basilisk fangs from the Chamber. Dudley swung his bat while Ginny sniped from over his shoulder, like they’d been doing all year. Neville reached into a Hat, and pulled out a sword, and killed a snake.
When the fighting died down there were bodies, and Dudley knew them mostly from letters– Lavender, who Ginny had penned so many jokes about during the Ron Debacle. Colin, who had showed Harry how to make Muggle photos move.
But as they stepped back into the Great Hall, where the living gathered, where the injured were laid out, where the bodies were laid out– Dudley felt Ginny go still.
Molly Weasley was crying, and Dudley thought he would have liked to go his whole life without having to see her face crumple and break like that. “Fred,” said Ginny, and she had been still like this all summer after her first year and Dudley hadn’t known what to do then either. Ginny moved across the floor to her brother’s body and Dudley stood by the edge of the milling room, trying to remember how to breathe.
He tried to guess the names that went to the faces around him. He looked at the long tables that had been shoved up against the walls– Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Ravenclaw. Harry had gotten his letters and packages here in this room, eaten his eggs, and studied last minutes for tests, written Dudley exasperated notes about Ron and Hermione fighting again– and there Harry was now, in the battered street clothes he’d arrived in, slipping out a side door.
Dudley gathered up all he could of his breath, his wits, and followed. He caught him a few turns down a small corridor, following his cousin’s hunched shoulders and quick steps as they moved away from the light.
“Where are you going?” said Dudley, too loud, and Harry stopped. When he turned around he shrugged, a little helpless with it.
“Just because you go doesn’t mean they’ll let us be,” Dudley said. “Do you really think you can kill him alone?”
“I know I can’t,” said Harry.
“Then why,” said Dudley, but he didn’t know how to finish the sentence.
Harry told him about Horcruxes, and Snape dying, and the ugly things that lived in him–that would die in him. “Remember how you said my life kind of sucks?”
Dudley thought about being nine years old in the back yard with a brand new set of Quidditch equipment. Harry had taken off after the Snitch, and Dudley had wrapped his plump fingers around a Beater’s bat and guarded his back.
“I have to, Duds.”
Dudley wanted to put milk on the stove to heat. He wanted to get the quilt from the back of the chair and put Monster in Harry’s lap. He wanted to be home with the hedge tapping at the window.
He wanted this to be just another midnight talk, Harry telling stories he’d already won, enemies he’d already escaped, his cousin woken up from nightmares that haunted him but left him breathing– Harry could gasp, or cry, or break out some of Lily’s curses, be a smug brat, be cagey and stare out windows, make Dudley worry like hell, that was alright, but he needed to be breathing. He needed to wake up and pad out to the kitchen so Dudley could give him warm milk and find the chocolate in the cabinet.
“I could go with you,” said Dudley.
“No, you can’t,” said Harry.
Dudley dug his thick fingers into his thicker arms.
Harry took a shaky breath and said, “Tell Ginny I’m sorry, okay? Take care of mum and dad.”
Dudley nodded. Harry hugged him tight around the neck for just one moment and then he was gone.
Dudley went back through the corridors, their fallen rubble and askew doorways. He had his bat, and his eyes open, but no one was there.
He had come here at thirteen, though back passages, invisible. When he had stepped out onto this stone, his heart had almost stopped beating. It was massive and magical, big and beautiful and brave, and not for him. He had known that at thirteen, and he knew it now. He thought maybe that made him angry. He didn’t want to be angry. He wanted to be home.
He wasn’t supposed to be here, but he was here. He was here, and Harry was walking out to die, and that wasn’t supposed to be, either. Ginny wasn’t supposed to be holding onto her mother’s elbow, every freckle stark on her pale face. Fred wasn’t supposed to be lying on the cold floor at their feet, sightless eyes looking up, but he was.
He wondered if he should wait, to tell Ginny that Harry was sorry. He wondered if he should have gone after him anyway. A beater’s bat. A meat shield. A distraction.
Lily looked up from where she’d been bent to speak with Percy. He didn’t know what she saw, but she said, “Where’s your cousin? Dudley? Where’s Harry?”
James heard the tone in her voice and turned toward them, straightening.
“He’s a Horcrux,” said Dudley. “He had to.”
“That’s not a where,” said Lily but her breath was stopping in her chest. “Dudley. I– did he leave? Did you see him leave?”
Dudley nodded. “He went,” he managed. He thought he might be crying.
James sat down where he stood. Lily went for the doors of the Great Hall but by the time she hit the courtyard they were already coming. Dudley stumbled in her wake, feeling too big, feeling so very small in his skin.
Hagrid carried Harry’s body in his arms and Voldemort was smiling.
You-Know-Who might have been sneering something about chosen, about thrice-defied, but no one heard him over Lily’s shriek. Later Dudley would realize she’d said, “Not my son,” but in the moment all he saw was the green streak out of her wand.
What is unforgivable?
Voldemort slumped to the ground, a heap of dead flesh, and Lily clung to Dudley’s arm to stay standing.
The rest of the gathered crowd broke free of the silence, then. Curses flew, multi-hued and shouted, and Dudley stood in the middle of it with his aunt weeping on his shoulder. He twisted his hands in the back of her robe. Around them, light flew and people fell and cried out, and Dudley pressed his face into the top of Lily’s head. “It’s done,” he wanted to say, but he was choking on it. It was done. A man was dead, but so was Harry. They’d bury him with Remus, with Sirius, and they’d go back to a quieter house.
“Mum!”
Dudley lifted his head. His cousin stood, swimming in his blurred vision. The fight was dying down beyond him, the Death Eaters fleeing. James was striding towards them.
“Hey,” said Harry. “It’s okay. Mum.”
James thudded into Harry without even quite stopping, lifting him up and wrapping his arms around him. Lily had lifted her head. Dudley wasn’t sure which of them was holding the other one up, so he took a stumbling step forward, dragging her with him. Harry reached out–James wasn’t letting go any time soon–and pulled them in, and the Potters stood there for a long time, holding on, holding tight.
After they let go, after the cleanup, after Harry kissed Ginny but before he washed all the dirt off his face, they went out to the Lake.
“Is there really a giant squid in it?” said Dudley.
“Almost ate James once,” said Lily, and patted the grass next to her for Dudley to sit.
Harry sat down slowly, like he’d forgotten what grass felt like, like he hadn’t expected to get this again– to sit with his family and to look out at dark water. Dudley tried to watch the lake, but mostly he just watched Harry.
He’d tell Dudley, later, over hot milk long after midnight, about talking to the faded conjurings of Remus and Sirius in the forest. He’d tell him about a train station and Dudley would say, “I would have been so angry if you didn’t come back.”
But for that moment, no one said anything. James wrapped his arms around Lily’s shoulders and kissed her gently on the temple. The trees shook in a quiet wind. The grass was soft under them. They sat, and watched the light on the water.
And Lily heard her sister whisper you got everything.
A breeze blew down, through the castle, over the grass, out across the Lake and past the four figures sitting at its shore.
Maybe I did, thought Lily, because she could still feel James’s arm warm around her, could hear Dudley breathing and Harry picking strands of grass to fiddle with. But I won’t apologize for it. Not to you.
You’re dead, Petunia, and he’s here. He needs a mother and you’re not here. I am. I will be here for them, as long as I can.
Did you hate magic for all the reasons you said, Tune? Because it was weird and gross and ugly and freakish. Or did you hate it because you couldn’t touch it? Because if you had let yourself love it, you’d have hurt forever.
You were bitter and angry and I missed you so much. Why couldn’t you listen? Why didn’t you try– try harder? Didn’t you love me enough not to hate me? Why did you lock this all away, and was it enough, what you had left? Were you happy– He’s happy, Tune.
Lily opened her eyes. There was light on the water, and ripples from a quiet wind, and her heart was aching. Her hands were warm, and held.
I gave him everything I could. Your son. He will always be yours, Tuney, but he has grown in my house. And maybe it wasn’t enough, what we tried to do, what we tried to be, but we love him, and he loves us, Tuney.
I didn’t steal anything from you. I gave it. I would’ve given you everything I had, if you had just let me. I gave him everything I had. That is what you do, when a little boy comes into your life with nothing but himself. You give him a home.
I didn’t steal anything. He gave it, because he’s got a heart big enough to level mountains. I like to think you would’ve known that, if you’d lived, if you’d known him. This isn’t a fight, it’s a family.
What would you think of me, now, Tune? What would you have done, if it was my son?
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