#why am i always writing at 2 am
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a very small engiespy moment...
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 engineer#tf2 spy#engiespy#what do you guys call this ship idk i am out of the loop#yea it does say 9/11 that's my hc since it's his meet the team vid upload date LOL#this is so old i used to write so extra messy lol#i feel like i literally always have a reason for x thing but i cant for the life of me remember why i picked 1925 tho...#some tags are confused ...blnd means blonde lol
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Honestly? I think Aisha had a crush on Taylor, and it makes her character so much more fun too. Her first meeting she gets to tease her a bunch and then the next time they meet she sees that Taylor is incredibly brutal and idk. I think she's weird enough that that would make a spark for her. Obviously Taylor barely noticed Aisha, and ends up dating her brother, so I think this crush withered a bit and likely made her kinda bitter as a whole, in large part because Aisha hurts a lot when people she wants to notice her don't. She thinks she's over it when Taylor leaves, she's been hurt enough already, and then Taylor comes back and oh no she is not over it at all and so she flirts with her a few times through Gold Morning, and she has an actual emotional moment with Taylor where she tells her it's ok to feel things, and she gave up on the crush but maybe she can still be important enough for Taylor to notice and not dismiss.
And then Taylor is barely Taylor, and Aisha is following her through portal after portal, watching as the fun-to-tease dumbass that made her heart flutter becomes more and more unhinged. Taylor is unraveling at the seams, and she's doing it all alone, even surrounded by thousands of capes for her army she's so alone. Except for Aisha. Taylor doesn't even know Aisha is there, she's never noticed her anyway, but she's alone and she's breaking down and she's still the woman Alec teased her about liking all those years ago. So Aisha does all she can to soothe her even as she stops being her, she sings soothing melodies, fixes Taylor's hair, gently rubs her back. So many things Taylor would never let happen, but that she needs to have. And then the golden man dies, and everyone is surrounding Taylor and wondering what to do with her, and she's going to attack them, and Aisha finally lets her power down and Taylor notices her for once. The joy from that hardly makes up for having her free will stolen and a knife put in her mouth as a threat, and if Aisha could move she'd let out a bitter laugh about how fitting it is that this was the time Taylor noticed her.
And then Taylor is gone. She's not coming back this time. And despite Aisha's best efforts, she can't quite move on from the crush just like she can't move on from Alec's friendship. So she does what she wishes people would do for her, she makes sure Taylor is remembered. She confronts Shadow Stalker and lets her know just how much Taylor mattered, because all those people afraid of Khepri and wanting to forget her didn't see her as tears streamed down her face and blood dried on her skin and her posture slumped like a corpse. They didn't see how human she was, how much she sacrificed. But Aisha did. Aisha saw the girl that she had fun teasing in the apartment slowly disappear. She saw someone so determined that they left their mind behind for the greater good. She saw Taylor at her lowest, and she was the only one who really saw her. She'll never get over seeing the hollow shell of Taylor Hebert breaking down as she sings to her, she'll never forget her. So she has to make sure other people don't forget her. It's her love language, and sometimes it feels like no one else speaks it.
#worm#parahumans#aisha laborn#imp#taylor hebert#skitter#her thing with Alec always felt platonic soulmates to me#idk why I wrote this and I don't think it makes sense it's 2:30 am lol#but yeah aisha having a crush makes her whole life worse#it fits in a lot of situations in canon too#so yeah#3 for 3 female undersiders love Taylor#gah I wanna write Taylor / Aisha post gold morning
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THE BEST OF SHENKO 1/?
The end of the world has a way of reminding you of all the things you forgot to say do.
Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#kaidan alenko#sophie shepard#EDI#shenko#fshenko#mass effect#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#OTP: you're real enough for me#i learned i am physically incapable of creating less than like 20 gifs at a time#but shenko stonks are up right now!!#gif’ing my favorite bisexuals gives me joy 🥹#even though ME2 is dry as shit for shenko content like it’s literally the sahara desert#like a whole ass 10 minutes max of cutscenes between shep and kaidan like come on#like 2 minutes in the prologue and like 8 minutes of cutscenes on horizon#and then an email and looking at the picture in your cabin before the suicide mission#i'm so sorry y'all ME2 shenko canon is absolute shit (besides kaidan being rightfully angry on horizon) which is why we ✨ignore it✨ 🥰#but i rant about ME2 VS treatment too much so i will not write another essay about it in the tags#i will say the EDI line isn't the exact quote from the game but i think about it a lot tbf#same with the quote i borrowed from anderson too lmao (which is also a tiny bit paraphrased)#i just love EDI asking shep for relationship advice when you get to follow shep and kaidan's relationship/struggles across 3 games#and anderson's quote about all the things you forgot to do in relation kahlee to is just *chef's kiss* when you think about shenko#like whether it starts in ME1 or ME3 shenko has some really fantastic moments across the series#two characters with strong morals who realize that they're falling in love and literally start to become each other's strength??#their soft place to land?? their support when they need it?? shenko will always have my heart#also the shenko quotes you get are the most fire thing in the world#you're real enough for me?? you make me feel human?? i want to be your strength- your soft place to land?? shenko you will always be famous#I FORGOT IM GONNA FIGHT LIKE HELL FOR THE CHANCE TO HOLD YOU AGAIN TOO LIKE??#but i’ll stop ranting now bc i do that wayyy to much in my tags lol. have a good day wherever you are! <3
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Could John start hurting himself in trial 3?
TW FOR SELF HARM
So I’ve got a lot of theories for trial 3 and stuff but this is the one I want to talk about first since it was the one that stuck out to me most yet I haven’t seen people talking about the possibility
I actually wrote about this theory quite a while ago which I’ll just link to but I definitely do think it’s very likely but hasn’t been discussed much.
For a brief summary of the post I made it’s a theory on how John may have self harming desires but doesn’t physically hurt himself as he’s afraid of hurting Mikoto. Basically it’s how the reason why Mikoto’s clothes are so tattered is because John has been ripping them apart in another way to harm himself but not physically hurt Mikoto. Heck, there’s very clearly bite marks on the clothes so I highly doubt it was from the fight with Kotoko. And as well as just ripping his clothing it probably explained the breakdowns John is said to have at night especially in that one minigram where Es heard on it and there was a lot of crashing sounds and stuff breaking, even ripping sounds which definitely matches with what I was saying. So John does all of this in a method to self harm as a stress reliever but not physically harm Mikoto.
So here’s the trial 3 theory. As of recently Mikoto has stopped denying John’s existence as everything he’s seen in heard it’s just too much for him to deny anymore. And instead of that he’s began to hate John so much and blame him for every bad thing that’s happened, even going as far to blame him for what happened to Mahiru even though it was very clearly Kotoko’s fault. And with John, he loves Mikoto. Dedicates his entire existence to him and despite all the constant trauma and suffering he’s endured the only thing that keeps him going is the possibility that Mikoto will love him and praise him for saving him.
“Hey now, I saved you, right? So why in the hell are you crying?
Cling to me, hoist me up as your "savior", stand up and sing out your gratitude, that'd be good.”
Judging by these lyrics, it seems John is somewhat aware that Mikoto is denying his help but still wants to believe it. Even Neoplasm he says how Mikoto’s entrusting him with his heart, which can either be he doesn’t fully know about the hatred or is denying it. But what I’m really worried about is how much Mikoto loathes John in trial 3 and what he could do.
As I said earlier John dedicates his existence to Mikoto and I couldn’t explain how John may feel after he would realise his hatred for Mikoto aside from his entire existence being denied. I already discussed this in another theory but for John to so deeply love Mikoto and dedicates everything to protecting him and only holding on with the possibility of approval and being told he did a good job, only to be met with unimaginable hatred from the person who he idealises as someone who could never hate anyone must be devastating on so many levels for John and… you can tell where I’m getting at here.
So what would happen next? Could perhaps John feel so betrayed by Mikoto that he could go to actually physically hurting himself out of conflicting feelings around Mikoto? Loving him like that but feeling so betrayed and hurt that he just tries not to care about Mikoto any more and harms himself out of both previously established coping mechanisms and spite?
It’s hard to tell here, as John is one of those characters who it’s very hard to predict what would happen next so who knows what he might do. I just believe this may be the most likely based off things that have been implied and established.
And just to address a potential elephant in the room is I highly doubt John would disappear in trial 3. That’s not how it works, and just because Mikoto may not be Guilty any more doesn’t mean he would be relieved from all stress so John definitely would still have his purpose. And I think it’s most likely why John claimed that he would disappear was that he believed Es hated him and wanted him gone, so he claimed that he would disappear if Mikoto were to be voted Innocent as a way to sway Es to that verdict. And there are lines such as “I’ll play dead even if I’m alive right?” And “can’t get rid of me now” that definitely imply that he will stay or perhaps pretend to go dormant which perhaps would be interesting as we’ve seen him masking as Mikoto in the minigrams before so it would be interesting if he does that in trial 3 perhaps. And side note even though this is kinda cheating theory wise but it would be stupid to remove John from the story like that so uhhh.
#milgram#mikoto kayano#John kayano#john milgram#tw sh#tw self destruction#I just wanna say I’m sorry for bringing up such a dark subject matter like this in a theory sense#It’s just when writing about the darker themes in milgram I always get scared I’ll offend someone by how I talk about it so sorry#But trial 3 is certainly gonna be crazy#This theory is one I’ve had for a while and thus easier to write but I’ve got a lot planned#Like it definitely seems like how in trial 2 kotoko was the main antagonist/one causing conflict and it definitely seems#That in trial 3 amane will fufill that role#Which I mean I am uhh really exited about that because Amane’s my favorite and I love character who fuck up everything#But from everything we’ve seen the whole thing with fuuta and Shidou she’s going to be the one starting the whole chain of events#And there’s definitely a lot of theories on people who could suffer or be injured because of everything#Definitely Haruka but that would be from himself#But from the amane thing potentially Shidou if she or fuuta attacks him#Maybe mahiru if Shidou can’t treat her if she’s injured which could be really bad I’m actually very worried for her#And fuuta if he goes too far deep into the ideology and actually takes off his eyepatch but that’s kinda hard to predict#And as I said it’s definitely likely that mikoto would be hurt but at the hands of “himself” rather#And with kotoko I have absolutely no clue how she would react to the guilty verdict but that unpredictably makes it more exiting#I’ll have to talk about kotoko and the others in a separate theory because it’s so complicated but aughahhan hiatus brain no#And kinda off topic with the mood that I’ve kinda set with this post#But looking and analysing the lyrics of meme and double for this post#I found it pretty funny how John is actually really affectionate when referring to mikoto#Like of course the “snuggle together and say good night” lyric which is funny because how that does not fit John normally but does make sen#And in double he uses words such as basically “welcoming home” mikoto and in those freeze frames whispers of good morning#Which one again is really funny as edgy boy misanthrope John has said almost uwu fanfiction stuff canonically#But it totally makes sense to his character which makes it all the more funnier but kinda fucked up as from what I’ve said in the post#Why am I talking about something funny like this? Maybe I’m just too worried about talking about dark subject matters I’m sorry
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honestly it doesn't bug me that Jerry Seinfeld is bad at acting because the other main cast of Seinfeld are so good, Jerry's acting becomes a joke in and of itself.
#The three of them maintain the emotional immersion#Jerry's incredibly one-note acting is amusing but its not enough to overpower the costars and make the show feel fake#yknow???#Anyway. Jerry can do like. 2 emotions convincingly#mild social discomfort and mild amusement#legit his amused+disapproving reaction to his friends' bullshit usually (Elaine or George) is when the character feels most real#that and when he is trying to hide some mid / insulting opinion from a gf#On an in-universe note; it's VERY funny to imagine that Jerry is just an incredibly odd man#Always reacting as if amused on some level; speaks in a highpitch monotone whenever upset#Gives delightful autism vibes tbh#A guy who struggles with / cant do neurotypical emotional expression#He learned to be funny in order to be accepted socially (even turned it into a profit!)#but the catch is that this comedy-oriented mask is the only form of external emotional expression he knows how to do#'why arent you taking this seriously' 'istg i AM i just communocate exclusively thru jokes regardless of how i feel. yeah its a whole thing'#seinfeld#oh no she's writing headcanons abt the silly show#jerry seinfeld#my words#seinfeld thoughts
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Maccready did not need the sadboy deadwife backstory at all but in my mind the idea of his wife being the same lucy from little lamplight is like kind of genius actually. They're both around the same age and got out of lamplight around a simmilar time and the idea of them finding comfort in being the only thing familliar to the other in a huge wasteland thats unkind to everybody is like. DO YOU GET ME. AND THE FACT THAT FROM THE AGES OF 16 (when they left lamplight) TO 22 THEY MANAGED TO SOMEHOW HAVE A KID WHO MANAGED TO GROW OLD ENOUGH TO PLAY IN A BACKYARD BY HIMSELF (im guessing atleast like 2-3 years old i doubt he was unattended but the way maccready says it its like yeah he was just playing one second and suddenly hes randomly sick idk tangent over back to my main point) BEFORE LUCY EVENTUALLY DIES (brutally. Thems the DC for you) AND MACCREADY GOES TO THE COMMONWEALTH WHERE HE'D HAVE TO BE SITUATED FOR ATLEAST A YEAR FOR THE TIMELINE TO MAKE SENSE IS FUCKING INSANE. AND I KNOW ITS JUST BAD BETHESDA PLANNING/WRITING BUT ALSO THEM BEING RAISED IN A COLONY OF STRICTLY CHILDREN BASICALLY AND THEN ACCIDENTALLY HAVING A KID PRETTY MUCH FRESH OUT OF THE CAVES ITS LIKE. IT MAKES SENSE. Dumbasses do not know what sex ed is!!!!! Like everything in maccreadys backstory can literally be explained by the fact that he and his wife were raised in a fucking cave by OTHER CHILDREN and are NOT NORMAL. Maccready is dark and broody because he lived like 40 years worth of emotional trauma in half a decade. Lucy being from lamplight also connects fo4 maccready to fo3 maccready better than if it was just some random girl cuz maccready could be literally any other bastard with a dead wife but if Lucy is also from lamplight then its ALSO AN NPC YOU MEET AND TALK TO AND KNOW IN FO3!!!!!!! Yeah it fucking sucks that they had to resort to the dead wife trope for the 7th time in fallout 4 alone but it really shows just how brutal DC was and gives mac leverage to like connect with the sosu cuz THEY JUST LIKE ME FR LIKE YOU KNOW???????? In reality his backstory is fucking stupid but in my mind i modified it and now it rocks. I want to give lucy depth. I want to make a million stupid headcanons about her from how she was the only person stubborn enough to keep up with maccready to how anxious she was about leaving lamplight before maccready promised they'd go together (you know to help her feel better not because he thinks of her as a friend or likes her or anything b-baka). Todd doesnt understand my vision
#fallout#i dont want to tag this anymore i dont know why i went so unhinged over this specific topic.#its 2 am#i just. shakes my fists at the sky i love overanalyzing insignificant shit especially in fallout 4#fo4 writing infuriates me cuz its not always bad but when it is it hits so fucking hard and has so many plot holes#still mad about the game being like yeah kellog lived over 100 yrs with some technology we made for especially for him once and never again#like idk. is this anything.
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~
#delete later#another journal entry 📝 for the void#i have not been sleeping well for the past 2 wks 😵💫 i always wake up like clockwork after 5-6 hrs which feels like not nearly enough#i feel like i've done everything there is to do (consistent exercise + consistent sleep times + earplugs + weighted blanket + no caffeine)#last night i took melatonin too but no... same problem staying asleep 😭#ahh whatever. i'm just frustrated that it has to be this way :(#anyways in an act of spite i reread like the 4 wips that have been sitting in my drafts from the past few weeks#i think something that will never cease to surprise me about writing is that more effort/time doesn't necessarily translate to better#results; i suppose that's the case with all kinds of art but#it does feel somewhat unintuitive. one of my fav professors in uni said to not dismiss those 'lightning in a bottle' moments (in art) as#blind luck... but to instead analyze the circumstances and iterate on recreating them. and i think one of my artist friends who i deeply#respect said something similar (wrt artistic rituals/setup). i have too many thoughts on writing and on my own creative processes and#weaknesses to fit into any number of tags here. :') that said...#*shakes ch2 draft* after everything i did and all the hours i spent WHY are you still so bad?!!! D: i am baffled and frustrated.#and why do i prefer this other [redacted] draft which i hammered out with utterly no regard towards the quality??#anyways. back to the drawing board i guess T.T
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I love creating sims in my head, write their backstories for gameplay and when it comes to opening the game and creating them I don't want to ;-;
#why am I like this#they're also 2 MALE sims#means pain because my male sims take so long to create#i never like them#creating female sims is much easier for me ;-;#i'm bored at work and began to write their looks and stories in my notes#and i'm always like#yeah TOMORROW before work i'll open my game and create them!#and what do I do...not opening the game#i'm always like aaah it takes so long to find the cc I like and spending hours is cas is not worth it#I don't wanna waste my little free time before work ;-;#them I'm playing bg3 lol#but maybe on the weekend#at least it's my plan to open sims again and play a bit#annie.txt
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Ash how is the fated watching going rn?? You’re braver than most
godd wampus im fucking THRIVING right now. this campaign sucks so bad it's genuinely unwatchable at times and I think that's the appeal to me <3 they spent like 10 minutes just describing and figuring out how the money system works and literally none of them sound like they've ever played dnd before and i don't think it will ever pass the bechdel test once the entire campaign even with velrissa trying her hardest but it goes crazy anyway
br'aad is my favorite character by a lot right now,, he's my FREAKK i love him and his idiot swagger so much. he's supposed to be charismatic but he sucks so bad at it everyone hates him but sticks around with him anyway. he's a warlock and his patron stops time and gives him insight on things/danger to come and kicked off the main plot in the sickest sequence I've ever seen. also his gayboy ass really did walk so every other gayboy slimecicle character could run !! they were so right !! and the party spent the first and second session hating everything he said and did . Took them sooooo long to be normal about him but they got it eventually when mountain (MY MAANNNNNN) defended him. Also he says everything with ^_^ . Just outloud you can hear it in his voice
for the rest I think the only other character that's talking enough to form an opinion on is taxi. and that opinion is STRONGLY a good one o(-( ! his banter with br'aad is so fun they're the only characters that feel Real and In The World so far and I love it so much. the names bit where br'aad kept getting his name wrong and calling him "saxi" and whenever he corrected him br'aad would just go "I know saxi. Nice to meet you im br'aad!" actually had me in tears at a certain point they're the only ones that have gotten me to laugh fr fr so far
sadly velrissa mountain and sylnan just Don't Fucking Talk so i don't have any real concrete opinions on them yet other than "hmm. Interesting ^_^" velrissa and her necromancy stuff is so neat so far I hope we get to see it in action soon instead of just small mentions here and there. same with the dynamic between sylnan and br'aad I NEEED to see more snockers scenes like their sibling scamming bullshit seems so cool I can't wait for them to emotionally rip my heart out through my throat. I can feel it coming
honestly the main appeal of it all is the characters and the characters alone. them slowly becoming friends and trusting each other will fuck with my brain permanently. I already cheered out loud when they so much as INSINUATED that they could stand br'aad and his charisma and they don't actually hate being around each other like that made me so happy. their meeting makes no sense but that's okay the Shenanigans with the solid snake box and br'aad trying and failing to stealth was so fun and "nice forearms, and a nicer staff!" and the little weirdo gremlin goblin following them around they're all very scared of and creeped out by (except for br'aad. he is strongly sexually attracted to goblins. this is canon and brought up over and over again) all make up for it. the story really doesn't matter to me here at all ^_^ all i care about are the characters being happy and traveling together and that's what makes the campaign enjoyable for me
#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#we have mail :]#if this makes no sense sorry its 2:30 am#cayden's dms are getting the brunt of my liveblogs otherwise inwould just be transcribing whole episodes on here#every time a character talks my ears perk up like a dog and i get excited. i feeeeeel the fixation forming#why cant i stay hyperfixated on good campaigns and media man why is it always shit that ended a long time ago#and sucks soooososo bad#as im writing this im finishing episode 2 so ill take a break for the night i think then start again tomorrow morning ^_^#WHICH I AM SETTING AN ALARM FOR SO I WAKE UP AT A NORMAL HOUR. I FORGOT TO DO THAT THIS MORNING LMAO#anyway thank you for letting me just Talk because this fucking campaign has me FUCKEDDDD UP#i love them so much... i am deeply invested in br'aaxi and i Get It Now#currently taxi has a whole girlfriend but its okay shes said like 2 lines and thats it because again. Never passing the bechdel test#wait okay episode 3 started they are doing a real and proper intro where they explain what characters they play#for the First Time#this is so cool woag
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i fucking hate this gane
throws up tears
#sophie’s idle chatter#i just finished chapter 5 meaning the end of season one and its safe to say this game has destroyed me in a million different ways#some of which being my emotions and my bank#what the fuck was the entirety of chap 5….. lunar games i cannot do this u have actually made me cry so much why did u have to make the#writing so so good and all the characters so compelling in their own way 😭#im abt to start chap 6 where we can unlock yuye and jihans routes from this chap onwards#sighs im not emotionally ready for this bc seeing glimpses of the bad ending illustrations in the archive makes me wanna jump out my window#and then after i unlock all their routes theres still season 2 thats locked…#hwal and eunhan…. throwing up …….. shitting tears …… banging my fists against the wall ….. punching air …….#fuck#at least this game is the kind with ads to replenish bc im used to these kinds of games#stares at lord of heroes and all their reward ads 🧍♀️#anyway my bank is always open for this game rven if it forces me through emotional trauma#baek jihan my beloved…. my love…… my life…… ourgh#AND SUYEON WAILS I LOVE U#man the devs have me in a chokehold for their amazing lore and writing…#anyway its 2 am and my eyes are puffy and my nose is stuffy and i should sleep but what is sleep when u have been emotionally damaged 🫡
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I was thinking about this the other day and wondering why it’s become so much less fun to write for BNHA and I think it’s because… I’ve written too much?
Like being a one-off author was fine and fun and novel and people were so cool and supportive, but now I’ve got multiple long fics and people have started treating me like someone that “creates content” rather than someone who is writing for fun. And I’ve shot myself in the foot by continuing to write long-fic and putting my heart and soul into them and it’s like never enough, people just expect more and more and more and I want to keep giving and keep doing better but no matter what I write it’s just not ENOUGH
And like… this started a little after I finished Zero Sum Game but like… people have started forming “opinions” that they share openly about “me” - I can’t stand going into fandom space and seeing people say they can’t read anything I write, or they don’t like me as an author, openly ranking my works, saying xyz is overrated or mention me by name in shipping discourse or send me hate mail or update requests or just straight up telling me they’re not going to read what I write anymore… and these people don’t know me!!! I’m just an empty space to them!!! Just a machine that pumps out thousands on thousands of words to just look at an forget about instantly!!!!!!!!
Where do people get off honestly. Is it like this everywhere or is it just BNHA? Is it because it’s so popular that the community has broken down completely? Sincerely what the fuck how can anyone treat writers like this…
#literally got a comment like yesterday saying ‘I’m so disappointed this hasn’t been updated in a year! I need it’#…fuck you actually?#I realize fics take 1-2 days to read#but all of this has taken hundreds of hours and YEARS to write#but sorry I don’t have the specific thing that you want to readily consume I guess#I am! not! a! content! creator!#nobody pays me! I get nothing out of this! why are people treating me like not a person!#and it’s just more and more frustrating seeing other writers mention stuff like this too#I realize I’m just venting now but whatever#like i feel like I built something over the past few years that I’m so proud of#but sometimes I want to burn it ALL to the ground#it’s not that deep#it’s just… I put too much of myself into this#which honestly is mostly my own fault#ANYWAY. that’s a big part as to why I’m jumping ship for now#I’d rather have fun and write whatever and have no one give a shit#than to give my heart and soul to a community that chews me up and spits me out#…. sorry I’m being so dramatic#the amazing wonderful kind people that have stayed around for these 3.5 years who still say kind words to me I love you so much#as always the negativity is the vast minority but that’s what hits the hardest I guess#I mean honestly I don’t care and will continue to write and do whatever I want#but wanted to reflect on my frustrations and make sense of it#.
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…
#i'm always gonna work at my own pace but i've been sooo slow with writing!!#like the last cmi update's gonna be 2 months old soon lol and i am so excited for cmi11 but oh my gosh it's been so hard bc im like#'is that scene boring? too dramatic?? worth it all??' bc i want this chapter to be p e r f e c t so im worried of not doing it justice and#then my brain goes so blank!!!#worried about*#like the plot has my heart so i wanna do my best!! which is why it still might take a lil bit to finish and drop it#let's see! i don't wanna rush this one.. but i do also feel so badddd :')#i promise im gonna work extra hard on it n when it comes it's gonna be worth it !! or at least i hope so!!#i really hope you guys like it a lot :') don't let it flop LMAO!! 🙈 but fr cmi11 means a lot to me so any interaction is 🥺#the comfort is crazy in this one rlly rlly <33 so pls wait for me <3 sorry again <3 ily and ill do my best <333#fic: colour me in#might delete AHHH LOL
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ShiSaku Week: Day 4
The kingdom of konoha was one with many legends. From a boy who is a half Kitsune that protected the village from within the woods, to a Naga who promised power only to steal your boy and wear it as if it was their own.
Of course no once believed these legends. In fact, many of them where to to either scare the kids from misbehaving, keep them out if the woods, or to be a simple bedtime story. Nothing more than that. In other words, they were not real.
However, when a girl just shy of 16, was being chased by her villagers, she had to find reassure in those stories as she ran into the depths of the woods.
The deeper she went the farther their yells became, until they had stopped completely.
No one really dared to venture too deep into these woods. Especially, when one legends told of the flora moving on it's own and of fae who loved to torment humans.
Bow that her pursuers had stopped chasing her, she slowed down to walk. The animals of night where the only ones who kept her company with their sounds during her stroll.
At least that's what she thought.
If only she was aware of the red eyes watching her from above. The man followed swiftly and silently. He did not want to suddenly appear before her while her adrenaline was bearly coming down.
When she came to water fall, Sakura knelt down next to the pool, cupping her hands so that she could gather some water to drink.
The water was cool, and it quenched her thirst from all the running earlier.
Taking her time, Sakura was her arms trying to keep the scratches from the branches clean. Then she splashed some on her face. She didn't care that some of stray hairs from her pony got wet. All she wanted was to somewhat calm her racing thoughts. In fact, what she needed right now was a plan.
Ever since Ami, one of her school bullies removed the scarf, hiding her unnatural pink locks; she was deemed a witch. It also didn't help that she was proficient in medical practices. Sakura knew that rather than helping her during her trial, it would only be used against her. Witchcraft is what they would call it.
As you can guess, it was very uncommon, (more like unnatural) for a woman to know such knowledge in Konoha.
That was why she had to run into the forest. Had she stayed to fave trial; prove herself innocent she'd only be burned at the stake.
Tears began to slip down her face and into the watch. The stress and reality of her situation was beginning to get to her.
"Humans," a male's voice said from above.
Sakura shot up onto her feet. Looking up into the trees all around her.
"Whenever I encounter your kind, you're all either screaming or crying. Is that really all you beings know how to do," the voice said, boorishly.
"From the way you speak, it almost makes me thing you don't consider yourself human," she said, with her guard up.
His laughter echoed from all directions of the forest.
"So, you can talk back," he said, with amusement, "but how would you know if I'm human or not? Everyone knows of the legends that surround this forest."
Sakura glared at the tree tops, knowing full well he was trying to scare her. Well, it was going to take more than his silly mind games to scare her.
"Well, that's all they are. Legends. Things that guardians tell their wards to get them to behave. Now, if you're done playing your games; why don't you come out of the shadows and face me," Sakura yelled.
"That's big talk coming from a girl who was running from her own kind."
The voice this time came from behind her.
Whipping around to face the man, Sakura could help but hold her breath. Before her was a man with dark curly haired, and red eyes. The only things keeping him modest was the armor like material around his shoulders, and some very worn pants. However, what really caught her eye were the giant black wings.
"Breathe human," he said, with a smirk.
'Right. Breathing. Breathing is good,' Sakura thought, letting out the air from her lungs.
He eyed her as she slowly began to breathe in and out.
Shisui found her green eyes mesmerizing, but her pastel pink hair was something he found uncommon with her kind. In fact, it reminded him of a fae he once knew, but that was centuries ago.
He began to circle the girl. He couldn't help but question the practicality of herclothing as he lifted the first layer of her dress. This of course caused her to swat his hand away.
'She's quite brazen. I wonder how long she can keep that up,' he thought before asking, "What do the call you?"
Sakura now knowing the legends were true, went through ever one that her father told her to identify the being before her. "Ethereal beauty, wings, playful, and going by that smirk, very flirtatious.... Ah! I got it,' she thought, as she eyed his every move.
"Flora," she replied.
"Flora," he said, testing the name, " You know, somehow I don't believe that's you're name."
He rose an eyebrow and crossed his arms. He wanted her name. Since she managed to pique his interests.
"I know what you are. You must take me for a fool to give you any sort of power over me," she challenged.
It is advised to never catch the interest of a fae. Especially those belonging to the dark fae.
He got withing her personal space, he cornered her to the edge of the pool.
'What a horrible time to not know how to swim,' she thought, holding his gaze. She refused to show weakness in front of the fae. Especially now that they are centimeters away from eachother's face.
"Then what am I,' he questioned, giving her a smile while giving her a glimpse of his fangs.
Narrowing her eyes she didn't answer. She didn't want to be caught up in his games.
"Shisui," he said.
"What?"
"My name. I think it's only a fair exchange for your real name."
"Nice try, but I'm not falling for it."
"And here I was going to offer my help," he said, with fake disappointment as he stepped back.
"And how would you be able to help me," she questioned, rolling her eyes.
"Don't you really think you can survive here in the forest alone? By now, you ought to consider that all the legends are true. I'll be honest, I am kinder to your kind compared to everything else in this forest," he said leaning against a tree.
Sakura's hands become fists. She really wanted to hit something. Well, more like she wanted to hit Shisui. She hated that he knew full well that he knew that she couldn't survive in the forest alone. That he knew she'd need someone like him to help her.
Looking down at the grass, she said, "Sakura. My name is Sakura."
If anything his smirk seemed to turn into a smile. That smile dispire it looking sweet, held some wickedness. She belonged to him now.
"See? That wasn't so hard," Shisui said, lifting a hand into the tree.
Sakura watched as she broke a small branch. From his hands came a shimmering gold like mist. It covered the branch, and small white flowers began to bloom from it.
He beckoned her her over, before placing the branch in her hands.
"A peace offering."
"Thank you," she whispered.
The next morning the villagers of konoha went out in search for the girl.
The forest was different during the day. It was more forgiving; less alive.
The only traces of the pink haired girl they found were strands of her pink hair by the pool of the waterfall and pieces of her dress in the trees.
Sakura haruno became one of the many legends told to the villages' young for generations to come.
@shisakuweek
#shisakuweek2023#shisaku#sakura haruno#fae shisui uchiha#@shisakuweek#have mercy on me as this was written at 2 almost 3 am#don't know why I'm always writing at this time#either way have mercy on me#i do my best to catch every mistake but i can't always catch them all#especially when I'm tiered#shisaku week day 4#“I know what you are.”
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seems like my heart does nothing but break lately
#oh my god dont read the tags. it breaks for everyone :( but on a more personal level#for my gf whos sinking deeper into something n i cant even help bc im a wreck myself but i am so so scared to lose her#still havent even been able to book a psych appointment n i rlly dont know where to go with all these ..em*tions#Guys i rlly dont understand one thing. how come one random freak whos in ur life at some point can derail a whole person like eons later#jeopardise their whole future just by crossing some lines for funz i really dont understand this#not fair not fair at all this is evil#and becasue u got unlucky someone wanted to be disgusting u have to carry the consequences#i rly still cant even say it i still cant even write it#i dont even know how . irl the only perosn i told in some capacity#is dealing with her own trauma and i hate that jsut being understanding is not enoughlike#Wow Lmao Its just Funny How it Shapes You. & U Can Never bury it forever becuz it will always catch up to you😂😂😂😂😂😂#AND THE PAST CAN NEVER BE ERASED 😃😃😁😁😂😂😂🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔪🔪#at least my gf has been taking steps to deal with it for.3 yrs and i just never even#LOL i feel like such a coward but the sh*me and the g**lt associated with the Thing..r so overwhelming i cant even admit it#what would i even do at the psych appointment like straight up what am i gonna say Lol#hai iam here to process something i dont actually remember probably becasue i was a child but imnot sure. n id rather#kms than tell u how i know 😂. So thats also why my heart breaks. for that little girl who was a ball of shame i guess and no matter#how much i cognitively.like rationally know its not my fault the ball of shame n guilt is still there#n it swallows me every time i vaguely start 2 think about acknowledging the Th*ng#or whatever. And thats just my end of the deal but my gf has it worse genuinely bc she remembers everything n still has to see the freak#n it went on for yrs n her family doesnt know n heres the worst thing hes a beloved family member a sweet boy with struggles of his own#well i hope he walks into traffic for doing what he did to her
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imo one of the biggest challenges of writing an AU is trying to make the setting/characters feel lived-in. with canon, you already know those people and places exist outside the scope of whatever’s going on, but in AUs it’s very easy to end up with locations that autopopulate when you need them or characters that show up as cameos for the sake of checking every box.
#i think i’ve spent more time making sure all the intricate worldbuilding for this fic fits SEAMLESSLY together#than actually writing at this point. which is why i am behind#90% of this isn’t making it into the final fic#just like always lmao#anyway yeah new massive one shot is in the works. surprise?#it’s zolu because of course it’s zolu#i’ve got about 20k done and just started on act 2 last night#it will. not be done by the deadline i originally set for myself. specifically because of the worldbuilding. yikes#albatross is kind of a different beast at this point so i’m setting it aside temporarily until this is finished#ah rip i wish you could edit tags on mobile. oh well lmao#gyro.odt
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Sleepy Hollow creators, y’all will never know peace and I’m so serious!
That’s my supervillain origin story okay
#They did Abbie & Ichabod so dirty.#They did Abbie/Nicole Beharie straight FILTHY.#This show’s first 2-3 seasons were some of the best in television EVER.#Fantasy. Historical Fiction. Horror. Mythology. It had EVERYTHING.#It had Orlando Jones. Clancy Brown. John Noble. *screams*😫#Fyck yeah#I'm forever bitter about what they did to her.#I will also jump in and give props. When she gives that “double blink” whew!! It’s time she gets the lives#and paychecks#she deserves#i could write an essay oh how dirty they did her character on sleepy hollow.#That’s how pissed I am#I’ll never forgive sleepy hollow for what they did to her character#I’m still mad about it#Always remember#never forgive.#Forever on sight for them.#I’m still mad they fucked that show up so hard.#They had two leads with amazing chemistry so they…separated them? What?#That's why i celebrate Sleepy Hollow cancellation date every fucking year#it’s what they deserve
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