Ah, I see Twitter is being ablest again with trying to insist disabled characters shouldn't be in fantasy stories.

You are Expendable

You are a hard working individual Pride yourself on your work You show up early and stay late You never miss a meeting or an email “We are lucky to have you, You are such a great asset to the team. With everything you do, to show our gratitude We will fire you without question.” You work hard every day Put your heart and soul into the job You encourage your coworkers, teammates Take that overtime and bust your ass You don’t sleep, you think of what You can do better tomorrow Yet you are expendable. Your job does not need you You will be replaced by the end of the day. Your job does not value you, You are a commodity that can be replaced. Your skill is teachable, Your knowledge is common. The truth is you are expendable And they’ll replace you for their financial gain.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I should have known from the 1st day of training my job as a claim associate for a Big Name National Insurance Company that I would regret my decision to apply.

I should have known when within two days of training I was pulled to the side and written up. For my neighbor talking to me.

I should have known.

So this is all on me, I know, but I thought that this company would treat me right and it was only these two bitter old employees who were about to retire.

I was wrong. I was so wrong.

the first year was amazing! I met new friends, I was great at my job, I had the best manager in the world! I was surprised that I could like working in Insurance. I was being talked to about advancement, different areas of the company I would excel at, and the right path to follow to achieve my goals.

Then She came along. Covid hit, we were all sent home, and a brand new manager took over my team. I didn’t think much of it, because honestly? She seemed fine. She was new to managing, but not new to the job. My biggest critique then had just been how much time she seemed to take off. She was NEVER there. Every other day she was taking a partial day. She took long weekends, took weeks off at a time. It was weird to say the least. 

But then the snippy emails came. The bitchy remarks.

My team suffered GREATLY. We went from being one of the top performing teams to suddenly being at the bottom. And all of these Outliers Reports that we had never heard of started becoming this huge deal.

Literally never heard of these reports, and then one week we were all on them. And it was a BIG DEAL (TM). Then we were getting in trouble for being in the wrong call states (the call states we have been told to be in for specific situations since we were trained were suddenly the wrong call states).

All of this I was willing to just deal with. But then...

Then my mom got sick. I got a call from my father at around 1 or 2PM Thursday, November 19, 2020. My mom was going to the ER because they thought she was having a stroke. I told my boss I couldn’t be at work and left for the day. Found out that it was a tumor, possibly cancer. Within 2 weeks she was in surgery to remove the mass and we found out it was Glioblastoma. The worst brain cancer.

And my friends and family kept asking “Is your work understanding? Being accommodating?” And I couldn’t say they were. They were the complete opposite of understanding.

I fought for a while to make them understand and to just ask for simple accommodations only to be met with “If you can’t do your job then go home.”

Below is a letter I wrote to HR.

“To whom it may concern,

My name is ______, and I work as a claims representative in the Auto Property Claims, Express. I am writing to you today to bring up some issues I have recently run into with the way Express is run, and I would like to discuss these with you and hopefully find a solution so if someone else is ever in my position, they are treated better.

Specifically, I would like to discuss how I was treated when I found out my mother was diagnosed with brain cancer.

I received a call on my first break on Thursday, November 19th, from my father. He told me that my mother was on her way to the ER. I immediately IM’d my manager, *blacked out*, and requested to leave, as my father cannot take care of my mother alone since he is blind. She simply said that she logged me out, and I did not think anything of her short reply.

I came back to work on Monday, November 23rd, because I had no more PTO, despite still waiting for my mother’s MRIs to come back with the official diagnosis. She was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor on her brain.  I could not afford to take time off (and also welcomed a distraction), but knew I would not be much help on phones, so I asked for tasks and waited 40 minutes for a response.  However, She simply stated that it wasn't possible for me to do other tasks - that either I could answer calls and talk to customers while in crisis and crying or miss work and not get paid.

I understand there are rules and managers cannot change our schedules on a whim; however, it felt crass that she would not even discuss an alternative. In the past I know that myself and others have been given courtesy during extreme circumstances, so I had spoken with another team manager about it, and he told me he would speak with Jessica for me.

Right before close, however, I received a very snippy IM from Her stating the following: “Just so you know, I had spoken with my boss, *blocked*, about this. And she said we couldn’t do that. And you were logged out for 40 minutes earlier today so I took the liberty of changing your T2 for that as an Unscheduled PTO.”

Those 40 minutes were while I was waiting for her response and trying to get myself together after learning horribly devastating news. I also felt very attacked and that if I were to do anything that she did not like from now on that she would retaliate against me. I still feel as though she will retaliate against me just because I went to another manager with an issue that she did not appear to care about at all. 

She has also consistently been lacking in manager experience, as well. The most prominent example of this is that she will not (or possibly does not know how to) help with personal development, either within the company nor in my current job position. When she brings up any areas where I could do better, she simply tells me “do better,” and when I ask for advice on how to go about doing so because I feel as though I am doing all I can she simply tells me again “do better." I can provide examples if you would like.

I attempted to speak about this with HR, but they simply asked why I was upset that my manager was asking me to do my job. I felt isolated afterwards, and felt as though Big National Insurance Company in general does not care about their employees in the least. Our motto is Remarkable. But my experience during this tragic time of learning that my mother might not just have brain cancer, but may never regain control or strength of her left side (her dominant side) ever again, coupled with the fact that my father only went blind 3 years ago so I now have 2 disabled parents whom I may need to start taking care of on a regular basis, has been anything but remarkable

I was told to get CIGNA to look into ADA accommodations. However, I needed the accommodation immediately, and CIGNA can take weeks, if not months, to get established. In that moment I needed to know that I could do my job while also helping my family through this horribly difficult time, and I was told to jump through hoops like a circus animal and maybe I would still have a job after, but probably would not be paid for the time off. I could apply for the Employee Grant, but that’s not a guarantee, and I have to apply for it after I’ve already lost the pay. As I’m living paycheck to paycheck right now, that would mean I would probably be facing eviction by the time I would receive any assistance. 

Accommodations were simply thrown out the window and when my friends ask how I’m doing and if my job is being understanding, I cannot say that they are. Between the points system, which punishes you for being ill or having to care for family, and my boss’s cold, indifferent, and unsympathetic attitude towards me, I feel as though I am literally just a number, an expendable employee who is simply there to be a robot. 

As I stated at the beginning of this email, I would love the chance to discuss this with you to find a solution. So if anyone else is ever put in this position, they are treated with dignity, respect, and sympathy, rather than cold, unfeeling retaliation and robotic responses. So future employees do not have to jump through hoops in order to have simple and understandable accommodations made as they work on getting the rest lined up.

You can reach me at this email, my personal email *blocked*, or through text or calls at my cell number *blocked*. 

Thank you for your time and I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

*my name*

We had a lovely conversation with my boss, her boss, and a new HR rep. But did anything change? No. If anything, I started getting micromanaged even more.

There is so much more to the story than this, but I - I just don’t have the time or energy to type it up.

Maybe I will another day.

But in conclusion - I should have known. Shame on me for allowing myself to be fooled.

On Shiro and Adam...

So in light of the mixed reception of Season 7, I wanted to make a longer post about Shiro and Adam -- specifically what kind of role Adam played in Shiro’s life both as his partner and after his death. I think people are understandably hurt at the news of Adam dying, and I think that’s leading to a lot of misplaced anger and hatred. At its extreme, I’m seeing a lot of accusations about queerbaiting and perpetuating the “Bury Your Gays” trope. I want to speak on all of this, but as a quick prologue to this post, I want to say this: 

Queer representation does not always equal having a queer relationship on screen. Sometimes the best queer representation can be seeing yourself in a single character and connecting not just to their sexuality, but also to their journey as a queer character. This is what Shiro is for us. Our queer rep -- our gay, asian, disabled, mentally ill representation that overcame all of the trials he suffered and thrived as a character this season. 

Adam was a part of Shiro’s past, and their relationship helped define Shiro’s experiences in the present. Adam’s death is a huge blow, but to call it a “Bury Your Gays” trope suggests that his death was a useless, pointless plot point that accomplished nothing other than to make Shiro miserable. 

I don’t think that could be further from the truth. Adam’s death held purpose, and I also believe Adam’s death served as a sobering moment for Shiro that allowed him to reflect on their time together and come through with a greater understanding of what love and family truly means. 

(wc: 2.0k words) 

The Significance of a Failing Relationship 

I think it’s important to remember that Adam and Shiro’s relationship was one that was doomed to fail -- Adam and Shiro had conflicting priorities that led to more than just the one fight we were privy to in Shiro’s flashback. The reason we got a look at their relationship wasn’t just to show us that Shiro was gay and in a relationship. It was to give us a look at Shiro’s motivations and shortcomings, something that we never really had a clear sense of before this moment. 

It’s alluded that Shiro has some sort of chronic degenerative disease that is  causing his muscles to atrophy and is set to severely shorten his life. Going out into space, which puts a strain on the body even if you’re a healthy person, is a definite death sentence for Shiro -- at the very least, it’s going to cut short the good years that Shiro has left. The good years that Adam was hoping to spend with Shiro. 

Adam very clearly wants to take advantage of Shiro’s healthy years and spend it with the man that he loves. Shiro would rather risk his health and his life going into space and doing what he loves rather than spend it on Earth with Adam. Both very valid perspectives, just ones that aren’t compatible. Shiro cared more about being a pilot and exploring space than maintaining his relationship. It was more worth it to die in the line of duty rather than play it safe.

Shiro’s disease gave him a very one-track state of mind -- you have a limited amount of time left, so you better haul ass and accomplish everything you wanted to before that end comes. Everything else comes second, including your relationships. It might even mean your death. It might mean you’ll never see the people you care about again. But it’s worth the risk. 

Adam told Shiro that things were over if Shiro went on that Kerberos mission, and he went anyway. He ended a very good, very long relationship because he cared more about accomplishing his personal goals over maintaining that. It’s not a bad or a wrong decision, Shiro has a right to live his life the way he wants to. But the ramifications of this decision end up coming back full circle when Shiro comes home and realizes that it was Adam who died in the line of duty and left his partner too soon. 

What Adam’s Death Meant 

Never forget: Adam was a soldier. He was a fighter pilot. Part of being a fighter pilot was accepting that his job was inherently dangerous. Going on missions always left the possibility of death and Adam knew this. He decided to devote his life to training to become a fighter pilot anyway. 

Adam didn’t believe in dying uselessly. Shiro risking his life on the Kerberos mission was upsetting to Adam because it was entirely preventable. But Adam isn’t a stranger to risking his life for a cause that matters. And that’s essentially how Adam died -- fighting for a very clear purpose, one that he accepted the moment he enlisted in the Garrison. He doesn’t even hesitate when he’s told to go in for the attack, and neither do any of his teammates. It’s an immediate acceptance of duty. 

His death is hard to watch. We as the viewers know that they’re not going to make it. Their weapons aren’t strong enough and there are too many Galra. It was a bad call made by his CO, but Adam was part of the first wave of Garrison fighters not just because he was one of the best. It’s because he was willing to risk his life for a greater cause. In this case, it was protecting his planet. He died nobly and he died heroically along with hundreds of other brave Garrison soldiers. 

The battle that took place on Earth created innumerable casualties. So many people aside from Adam died fighting -- queer soldiers, soldiers of color, disabled soldiers, mentally ill soldiers, so many demographics of people that didn’t and never deserve to die. But that was a large theme in this season: sacrifice and loss. Even though Earth lost a lot of good soldiers during this face off, their sacrifices weren’t meaningless. They all contributed towards Earth’s liberation. Adam was a part of that. 

The “Bury Your Gays” trope is based on the useless, pointless deaths of LGBTQ+ characters in order to meaninglessly deprive queer characters of happy endings. Adam’s death wasn’t torture porn. It was tragic, but it was meaningful. He died for a purpose, a purpose that he understood and fully accepted. Nothing about that is meaningless. In fact, part of the point of the last few episodes of the season was to understand that everyone who lost their life died for a reason and would continue to live on in the hearts of those who continue to endure. 

And, lo and behold, Shiro is the one who delivers a speech saying exactly that. 

The Story of Shiro’s Endurance 

There are a lot of people who are frustrated that, as the one gay man in our main cast, Shiro is the character who has suffered the most. I don’t mean to take validity away from that complaint. But I do think the fact that Shiro being queer and enduring in spite of this suffering is very meaningful. 

As queer folks, we are often forced to survive in spite of outside forces that continuously attempt to oppress us and threaten our lives. We endure through impossibly bleak situations -- oppression, ignorance, prejudice, and violence. Many of us lose our lives because of this suffering. Many more of us depend on the strength we find in ourselves and the support of those around us to live in spite of all of that. Shiro represents that survival. 

Shiro was abducted, imprisoned, controlled, killed, cloned, scarred, and tortured all throughout these seven seasons. But he’s still here! He’s alive! As of this season, he’s no longer dying of a degenerative disease, he has control over his body, he got a new arm, and he was the Captain of the man made ship that battled the Galra and saved Earth. He’s come such a long way in spite of his struggles. Part of that was because of his own strength and his own perseverance, but he also needed those he loved and cared for in order to succeed. Without the support of Keith and the rest of the paladins, Shiro would’ve succumbed to his circumstances. 

I think Shiro learned something very valuable over the course of the series. Teamwork is important, but it’s also important to hold those you care about close. Value those you love and those you care about. Don’t let them go. Don’t forget them. You need them in your weakest moments. These are the people who will help you go on. Voltron’s emphasis on found families, on love, and on support are all things that we as queer people depend on in order to survive. That’s not a coincidence especially because it’s these same forces that keep Shiro alive. 

Adam’s death was a very sobering moment for Shiro. Because suddenly, he was the one that had to feel the pain of losing someone he loved too soon without getting the chance to say goodbye. Shiro was the one who had to say, “I wish we could’ve had more time.” I don’t think Shiro regrets his choices, but I do think he regrets the way he left things with Adam. I think he regrets making Adam think that he cared more about himself than his relationship with Adam. I think Shiro from this moment on is never going to forget how important his found family and friends are. 

That’s why it’s so poetic that Shiro was the one who delivered the eulogy at the end of the season. 

“Today is a solemn day. Today we look back at the lives that have been lost, and the sacrifices that have been made here on Earth and across the universe. There isn’t one of us here today who hasn’t experienced the tragedy of losing someone close. It truly feels like a light has gone out in our lives, and the sun itself couldn’t reignite it. But that light, that fire, has not gone out completely. It is fueled within each of us by the memories and the love of those we lost. And now we most move forward in their names and shine that light onto a new path for future generations. Today is a solemn day, but it is also a day of hope. Earth is now stronger than ever, and it stands as a beacon of light to help guide those fighting against tyranny and oppression. From here we will spread peace, and together we will hold strong as the defenders of the universe.” 

The fact that a queer, mentally ill, disabled person of color who has suffered immensely gave that speech to a crowd full of people who have also suffered and experienced loss is so inspiring. Because Shiro, by all calculations, shouldn’t have survived this long. He had so many cards stacked against him. But he’s alive. And he’s a beacon of hope for so many. Despite his loss, he’s here and he’s going to continue surviving. 

Adam didn’t die for no reason. Adam was one of those brave soldiers whose brave sacrifice has served as a beacon of light to keep everyone going. Adam’s death inspires Shiro to keep enduring. In the macro sense, Shiro is an inspiration to all queer folk watching this show and tells us all that despite our struggles, despite our circumstances, and despite our loss and suffering, we have the ability to solider on. 

What Shiro and Adam Mean As Queer Representation 

I want everyone to know that it’s okay to be upset that Shiro suffered. It’s okay to be upset that Adam died. But I also want everyone to know that this doesn’t make Voltron a homophobic or problematic show. I think the narrative they created around Shiro’s character -- his past, his struggles, his relationships, his loss -- is a truly beautiful message to send to everyone who is queer and seeing themselves in Shiro. 

Voltron doesn’t shy away from dark themes like death, war, and suffering. Voltron understands that these are unfortunate realities in all of our lives, even in the lives of the dorky, fun-loving paladins we have followed up until now. These same paladins understand sacrifice -- they understand the value of their lives and are willing to sacrifice them for a noble cause. They understand danger, accept death, and continue to soldier on anyway. That’s the lesson we are meant to walk away with, and that’s the lesson we are meant to draw strength from. 

Adam was a beautiful gay character who understood the value of life and nobly sacrificed it for the sake of saving millions of lives. Shiro is also a beautifully constructed character and a wonderful example of a gay man who is able to inspire hope in the hearts of all the other queer fans of this show who hold him in such high regard. 

None of this is useless or pointless. None of this is malicious. Everything about this is meant to send us a positive message. This is the result of impeccable writing and storytelling and I think that both of these men are able to serve as inspirations for all of us. Voltron did a wonderful job with them. Their story is one to be remembered. 

Neuralgia/ADA/GOP-On-The-Run

Cycle 7, Day 19

First of all, next week’s my “week off,” which is usually just a blood-draw, however, because it also marks Dad’s birthday, which he’s intimated is supposed to be A Party of Special Magnificence, so I’ll be in the greater SoCal area during my “off week,” and, with my brother at hand in a festive mood, there’s a chance I won’t come to my senses until November. So, unless something goes spectacularly wrong at next week’s blood-draw, there’s a chance I’ll only update/write about random goings-on, or Dad’s giant, dragon-shaped firework (that isn’t a euphemism, I’ve been explicit that I want to see wizards, halflings, the whole deal).

Today, however, I’d like to draw some attention to my own physical disabilities (such as they are), why large chunks of the country aren’t ADA-compliant (I don’t even mean in a paved sense), and your very corrupt, local congressman, if you’re from a rural area (almost guaranteed).

So, even though I am automatically, federally-qualified as disabled (look it up under “compassionate allowances”). However, 80% of applicants eventually get disability coverage because - here’s a shocker - when people can’t do their jobs or survive normally, that tends to be noticeable, unless you have an extremely advanced neurodegenerative disease (in which case, you get to be president). And when I applied for disability, no one was, shall I say, directly unpleasant, but I got the very distinct impression that everyone would rather be doing something else. It wasn’t until I actually wrote my own condition down and told the social security rep to call their boss and give them that diagnosis that I got a bit of an attitude change. So, most disabled folks tend to be somewhat sensitive about it, because it is a pain in the ass (sometimes literally) and society is very much stacked against us. I actually wouldn’t even have given it much thought unless I had to fill out and file paperwork on it. Again, be kind and patient (that’s the general message), and don’t assume. I prefer to be called “crippled,” because I feel that word accurately captures both what happened to me, and and how it’s effected me.

To that, I also get passing privilege, because I can walk (though steep stairs and long sprints are out), and you’d only tell my left side is off if you were familiar with me. So, a neurologically-mangling injury usually occurs in one of two ways, externally (or externally-derived), which is usually what you associate with disabled vets, or internally (either due to clot, stroke, or cancer/tumor).. In the former type, you’d see nerve damage below the injury point. In the latter type, it’s a little harder. Everything in the brain is integrated - physically -  it’s a little harder to keep track of the higher-order, Wile E. Coyote (Super Genius) functions, especially since you develop new neural pathways throughout your life. But, just for the physical functions, damage to the brain occurs on the opposite side of the body, and it’s a half-body thing (most of my left-side is unreliable in the right circumstances, but for day-to-day use, it’s just the lower leg and lower arm). And these can be anything from noticeable motor impairments to, in my case, “diminished sensation.” Again, I’m just speaking for myself, but neuralgia - the reduced/lost sensations and/or pain of nerve damage - is a killer for folks like me. In my own case, if you’ve ever had minor oral surgery or a filling where the dentist got a little careless injecting the novocaine, you’ll be familiar with the numbness issue. Your muscles worked just fine, but without sensation, it’s hard to orient them enough to get them to work. That’s a rather extreme example, and it’s not terribly accurate for me, but it’ll give you an idea of what I’m talking about. Again, unless you know me, it’s kind of hard to spot me (I only hobble on inclines). Unless you knew I’d been trained as a pianist for a number of years when I was much younger, you’d have a tough time guessing my left hand has trouble with buttons. And, fortunately, the legal definition of disabilities isn’t limited to “patient is mostly-functional, but severely reduced by previous-standards.” (I also really do spend an hour or two in the gym every day, if only because I want a body capable of absorbing and metabolizing every last damned drop of marizomib they can pump into me)(which, come to it, is probably some sort of admission of addiction). I am, however, going to start referring to my left arm as “my Grendel arm,” because, if I’m attacked by Vikings, I intend to let that side take the damage (again, it won’t be as painful because of that “reduced sensation” problem I run into when I’m very tired)(and, hopefully, when I’m on fire and being attacked by Norsemen seeking retribution for

Speaking of legal issues, now’s a good time as any to point out that vast swathes of the country are near-impossible to live in if you’re, let’s say, medically-compromised. Now, I realize that I’m a very special, special-needs patient/citizen in that my existence is dependent on technology that’s beyond the ragged, bleeding edge of most hospitals - most states, as it turns out. But that’s going to be true of just being able to access decent care in most places, even for something relatively simple, like the heart disease currently building up in the Boomers. And I bring that up because, in most places, your elected federal officials are actually working against your best interest. Frequently with your consent. And these are, in my experience, always in rural districts. The party of your representative isn’t an issue, I’d bet; the issue is whether you live in a zip code with a population density closer to Los Angeles, or Maine. Americans (or, health-industry lobbyists) made a hullabaloo about Obamacare (or, as it’s formally known, the Affordable Care Act - the ACA). However, for people like me, it did help knock down things that will kill Grandma and Granpa, like lifetime limits (I’ve reached and exceeded those probably ten years ago), and - this is big - prior conditions. These are both weasel terms used by insurance companies to reduce patient numbers. Again that wasn’t a major issue for me until an orange-haired idiot came into office, promising to change all that. At the time - these were in the intertumor years - I was living in Utah. Here’s an important thing to understand when someone is actively working to undermine your life expectancy; they’re not going to be honest about it. And, in my experience, elected officials from rural areas tend to have more in common with Boss Hogg than they do Mr. Smith, but that could be because the first Congressman I met “representing” me was Jerry Lewis (that was his nom de guerre)(but not his real name)(also not his real hair), who was almost hilariously sleazy, and consistently plagued by corruption accusations. Which, uh, I think, describes almost all of the Congressmen who represented that district. So, you can imagine my complete lack of interest at being pushed and prodded and shoved in front of a congressional underling at the sitting Congressman’s office (this was Chris Stewart - or his local office, BTW).

We will ignore the odd decorating decision to include a large photo of a bomber with an explosion on it - I guess it’d been made by a constituent. We were met by - as expected - an office underling. The hiring and firing and promoting of office staff in small districts is usually pretty sordid. That’s not some sort of slanderous accusation; all professional politicians are legally prohibited from directly employing their companies or family members. Most, like Ron Paul, figure out a workaround until those pesky Congressional Ethics reports come out. The assistant in front of us assured us - in the wake of GOP populism that’d swung in just a few weeks earlier, that the Congressman didn’t like his job, only did it because no one else was stepping up, and was all in favor of term limits and revolving door policies - basically, the sort of pep-talk I always look for in the medical industry when looking for a well-qualified specialist (”Yeah, he’s great at his job, but he dislikes it and is only waiting for an opportunity to get out.”). The assistant was not the Congressman’s chief adviser on health care (I can only assume that was some wildly unqualified lobbyist from Pfizer, but that’s pure speculation). You know what really sends out a message of professionalism and receptiveness to constituent needs? When a constituent calls to schedule an appointment to voice concerns regarding health legislation, and the person qualified to answer such things isn’t in the office. Anyway, even though the assistant didn’t have any answers to most of my questions, he assured us that the congressman didn’t want to cut anyone’s insurance, but thought that a free market - the standard BS filler that comes from someone who has never been thrown out of a hospital (yes, this happens, folks, it made headlines in Baltimore a few years ago). Upon later checking, the assistant had actually actively lied about both issues, based on the Congressman’s actual voting record. Again, I don’t think he’s alone, I just think rural Congressman who coast on for a career based on name recognition aren’t used to an informed, angry public making proper inquiries. At least have the guts to tell me it’s more immediately profitable to kill me than to keep me alive; we’ll have to agree to disagree, but I get it. To make a long story short, because of Utah’s combination of hilariously inadequate insurance coverage for people like me, and my stubborn refusal to settle for less-than-best when seeing neurology specialists, I’m no longer a constituent. Thank you, sir, you ran me off your land, kudos. But I’m certainly not alone. Again, the Boomers are at an age where they’re going to be dropping dead of heart disease, cancer, etc. That’s not some dire, emo warning, either, it’s just that they’re all in their 60′s or above, and, until 2013, almost half of the US was either uninsured or disastrously uninsured. I think the HMO system will last two dozen cases of wheeling grandma and grandpa into the cold street before it comes to an end. But what the hell do I know? I’m just a sick person who’s had to learn insane amounts.about the health insurance industry and pharmaceutical companies to make it this far.