#where’s god when i’m scared
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#persona 4 golden#mom come pick me up i'm scared#persona 4#yu narukami#yukiko amagi#yosuke hanamura#chie satonaka#kanji tatsumi#naoto shirogane#rise kujikawa#teddie#artist: @club3#shadows#roblox horror music#no you’re not me#*I’ll face myself battle plays*#biden’s america#where’s god when i’m scared#nightmare fuel#this is what happens if adachi wins#i am a shadow the true self#*thriller laugh sound effect*#rise stop simping yu for 5 minutes#I AM NOT YOUR SENPAI RISE#sorry for that rant#the gang on the loose nothin’ you can do you can try but why you know you’re gonna lose#haha i’m in danger#tvtropes.org/creepy-awesome#bugs when you lift up a rock#we are going to beat you to death
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When I finish my ghoap Christmas oneshot that I started way back in start December, and have been struggling with since, then it’s over for you fools 🎅
#maybe it will be done by next Christmas lol#god no I’m scared of jinxing it#it’s not even THAT long I’ve just constantly had to step away from it and start over#and I don’t even think it’s good 😭 but I want it done#and there are bits I like that I want to share so I need to finish this bitch#y’all better be ready to find some leftover Christmas cheer when I post it#we will pretend that it isn’t several months late 😀#they kill Santa and it’s funny and I don’t want to leave that forever in my wips#correction: they kill someone dressed as Santa but they take it very seriously#it has very much the same vibe as ‘Clue’ did and ppl enjoyed that one a lot#so I hope I’m just overly critical of myself and that this fic is actually alright#how did I write clue in one night????? where did that superpower go????#might share some snippets at some point idk#wispy update
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life is falling through my fingers more that usually
#i’ve been in a pretty much constant state of panic since january#and it’s gotten worse recently bc of 1. thesis writing (or lack thereof)#2. administrative problems at uni that i caused due to the constant state of anxiety and depression#like whyyyy do things like going to the uni office send me spiraling like nothing else#and i’ve been feeling weird and disconnected for a while now and nothing seems to interest me anymore#like i’m light headed in the worst way and i think if one thing goes badly i’ll genuinely fall down crying#and i can’t seem to do anything productive bc of the anxiety either#ok i checked usos. the administrative problem got more or less solved#oh thank god#i love depression loveee it love causing problems for myself that i later have to bother other people about bc i can’t solve them by myself#esp when you have to admit to them that mental illness is what caused them bc even when they’re sympathetic and nice about it i still feel#like such a pathetic idiot my god#also i’ve been thinking a lot abt how a pattern that repeats in my life is the lack of closure#from silly things to more serious ones#like how i didn’t attend my elementary school graduation nor the hs one#the first one bc of travelling and the second bc of covid#so i just closed my laptop and then went to pick up my diploma after matura results and that was it i never saw any of my teachers or#thanked them etc#and how all my friendships that died out were this kind of sudden drop like nothing happened but we just stopped talking one day and that#was it and idk where we stand#and how i seem to leave loose threads everywhere i go and i can’t tell if it’s just a coincidence or if i do that on purpose but#unconciously so as to not have to deal with things ending bc that scares me#i’ve never felt grounded in any moment and it’s so strange#also yeah yeah weird behaviour meant to save me from abandonment whatever#📓#niedziela wieczór i humor popsuty co mogę powiedzieć
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why is totk so scary fucking crazy hands the depths the stupid trees so many fucking caves in botw i would jump if a chuchu fell out of a tree unexpectedly i don’t think i can handle this
#totk#i’m having a fricken panic attack?#i cant do this cough cough hack?#i’m scared 😭 someone hold me#botw was scary but i also praised the game because it was tame and had no spiders#guardians are too robotic to be considered spiders#now everything is scary i’m really upset about the trees#and the fucking horriblin cave trolls LEAVE ME ALONE#i need like a 10 minute break every time i open a cave system#where would i be without fire shields god bless#how is link so courageous when i’m literally terrified#thank god for auto save you know this game better than i do#remember the worst thing that could happen is that i die
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Idk if I’m a boy or a girl anymore
#vent#vent in tags#or neither tbh#idk who I want to be#it’s just easier to detransition rn and then try again later in life when I think more#but also detransitioning publicly will raise my anxiety so much I’ll be in bed for weeks#everything hurts#I’m tired and I wanna draw#oh my GOD idk who I am#maybe I don’t belong here#i wish i didn’t exist#ignore all this just late night thoughts#whatever#I’m so scared#i wish i was normal#I want so much attention but the second i get it negative i wanna never leave my room again#but my room isnt safe either#no where is safe I wish I had more friends they distract me#I feel so selfish
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always get so pleasantly surprised when people really like my stuff i post :) love you all. whether you celebrate something or not around this time i wish you all the best <3
#i always first and foremost post for me if not otherwise stated on the post itself#and that is what i always have done and aspire to continue. but#it makes me happy to see so many likeminded people around me#sorry. i am getting sappy and emotional; today has been draining for reasons i do not know#i am very tired and it is late for me so i will try sleeping soon#i am glad to have found such a nice and large fandom in sonic. it has allowed me to try and be more approachable and friendly while still#being myself at my core interactions. this year has been strange and new and exciting so i figured i might as well try#and make some more friends. which i have; i am happy to say :’) i have always had a hard time socializing. and to find people willing#to understand the things i say even though it’s worded weirdly#and i’m happy so many can enjoy the art i post <3 it means a lot to me#especially when i feel as if i don’t do enough. i like many others have some. issues regarding worth and content but i am trying my best#and. am getting better at it 👍 i think i might be getting sick ergo the sappiness and long tags#but i don’t regret the things i say. i love you all followers mutual ppl i follow#there is so much space in my heart and i am not afraid to admit that i get attached easily and do not know where friendships begin.#but i. am willing to try and find out! if the gods are willing; hopefully a good new year for us all next week! and more commmunity and love#i hope you understand what i am trying to convey. ive been scared of being this open but if i am not then i will never know living#and loving <3 will still be posting obvs i am simply joyous rn! gonna sleep now :3
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It would genuinely be funny how many times I’ve come up with an idea or plan that by all accounts SHOULD fix most of my problems, at least eventually, only to have it inevitably thwarted.
#and by none other than ‘sending verification code to xxx-xxxx’#we’ve gotten to the point where I am just going Ha Ha Ha every single time cuz I can’t do anything else#I still haven’t fucking cried and at this point it’s like#wait hold the fuck up no one move#my phone is on#holy shot holy shit holy shit#I’m too scared to touch it cuz what if it turns off#god is toying with me fr .this is it#HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. IT FUCKING TURNED OFF AGAIN WHEN I PICKED IT UP#Oh my god I’ve got some fucking words for this situation I really truly do#what a beautiful sitcom moment.#the brief flash of my lockscreen really did give me a moment of hope#I should know better by now
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Just finished Cars On The Road and OFC I LOVED IT
IT WAS SO CUTE IM SQUEALING
#ofc the Lightning x Mater moments where adorable#don’t think I didn’t see how Lightning snuggled against Mater when he was scared at the hotel#also both of them where so autistic like omg#the way Lightning fixates on stuff so easily#how Mater has a tick when he’s extremely nervous#and Lightning getting anxious at the circus bc of the clowns#that was 1000% a sensory overload moment#ALSO CRUZ AND MATER BEING FAMILY NOW??? THATS AWESOME GOOD FOR THEM#those family reunions are gonna be very interesting#tfw your boyfriend’s sister gets married to your friend’s cousin#like oh my GOD this show is so great#ALSO MATER BEING THE BABY BROTHER I CANNOT#Mato was so great she’s so beautiful and funny#Mater being scared of her is hilarious and as someone who has siblings that I’m afraid of… mood.#also the fact that Mater comes from a rich family is VERY interesting and leaves a lot of potential for backstories#time to write more fanfiction and draw human!Mato#pixar cars on the road#Pixar cars
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This fight better be cool!!!
#I’m so tired of the story at this point that my only seritonin comes from when god serena shows up#this fight should be cool. I’m so scared Serena’s gonna get one shot again every time he’s here#but it should be neat#come on boys put up a good fight 🤞#also where did that one guy go#sai or something?#did he die and I just didn’t realize he died#i don’t really care what happens but I hope Serena and Jellal knock each other out#fairy tail 100 years quest#god serena#jellal fernandes
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do y’all remember 2 months ago when I mentioned that guy who found my IG after I got called to the stage at a concert and was trying to flirt with me while I was posting stories about being in love with Josh
well he left me alone aside from stalking my stories every week or so (even tho he unfollowed me) but after a solid 6 weeks with no communication in the DMs he just messaged me again
pleeeease move on bro 😭😭😭
#can I just have a normal man be attracted to me for once lmao#I take back all those times in high school when I said “I just want SOMEONE to like me” I TAKE IT BAAAACCCKKK#he’s going to the same concert as me again in a couple weeks too and I’m .. slightly scared 🥲 I’ll be with my friends thank God but still#needing a friends to lovers fake dating trope josh fic where he saves me from this guy lmao
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just watched evil dead… the 2013 one…. that was #crazy
#omtai post#and it’s not even the raimi ones.#i haven’t seen the originals and i’m scared#i was making up context for most of the film#i called the devil book the evil ed gein book#i saw a tumblrina say gerard way liked this movie and at certain parts i thought yeah i could see that#there were some parts where i was like🤭eheheheh#like when natalie was in the basement w mia#and some parts where i was just like#🫢#like the rest of the movie#GOD#john lennon: reads evil demon latin from the evil demon ed gein satan book#john lennon: why are we all being possessed rn#i forgot his name i’m just calling him john lennon#anyways.#good movie#enjoyed it#i’m gonna watch the ogs tomorrow#and then monday imma go see evil dead rise in cinema#if i still have my job ehehe#anyway#goodnight
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not to be dramatic but I literally feel like I’m going insane lol
#first of all I must acknowledge the percy of it all. I don’t know how many of you are reading those posts and honestly I’m not conveying#how I feel very well but I’m so deadly serious when I say I feel sick when I think about those books and not even in a bad way necessarily#just nauseous whatever. second most pressing issue is the whole “am I going to drop out transfer suck it up or kill myself”#okay I’m really not considering that last one I have to live to see dani in july but I haven’t the slightest clue what I’m gonna do next#year. on one hand I hope this school explodes on the other transferring sounds so unfun but back to the first hand I hate this city#and I hope it explodes to and I have nobody I know to live with off campus next year and tbh I would rather die than live w sarah suitemate#which brings us to sarah suitemate. how in the hell is my only friend in this god forsaken city like kind of subtly homophobic#In addition to kind of being a bad fucking person. like lol! yes ladies six months deep with no other friends and I Am that desperate#also it’s the very beginning of the quarter and I kind of hate all my classes. okay I know they just started and it’s very early to judge#but I already feel like I’m going crazy I preferred my other two quarters where I was eating literally 12 credits I was satisfied with that#I’m just scared and lonely can I say that outright is it embarrassing to admit that outright at 11am on tumblr#the only thing that gives me comfort genuinely is just repeating that “everything works out in the end” saying bc I really do believe that#even though I hope my closest friend within a reasonable radius of me drops dead and I’m directionless and I want to kill myself#whenever I think about the book I’m reading it will all be okay#anyways time to eat the pastry I got from the campus market is not a good time to tell you guys I didn’t eat breakfast or could you tell#carmen.txt
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#a lil personal update at a time when no one is online lol#got sick tuesday#drowsy cold sweats general body pain itchy throat and issues focusing#started feeling better thursday but still super tired and mushy brain#felt fine friday#but then the brain started working ~just fine~ so anxiety took over :))#couldn’t sleep two nights in a row#woke up saturday w like full body anxiety#last night i was scared of going to bed bc i thought i wouldn’t be able to sleep#(thank the GODS i did get a good nights sleep)#but i’m working today and i’m so happy i was able to get to work#am currently at the office waiting for my ride to today’s work place#and i’m cryyyying hahaha#i thought i had FINALLY landed a job that was secure and calm and a but more long term#but friday last week we had a meeting where the boss basically said there’s no money to keep ANY employees unless We Bring In The Cash#(no pressure :ppp)#and i guess… after this year of my previous work place shutting down (a youth center so the loss and grief was HUGE)#i’m basically just a wet spot on the floor#and i’m so tired#and on top of that so grateful to at least currently work for a wonderful organisation that does wonderful things#they’re just not fucking#equipped to be good employers#and i’m just so sad and tired
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#okay so idk where to talk about this cos I feel attention seeking for some reason if I tell people irl so I’m just gonna dump it here lmao#few days ago had genuinely the most fucking scariest experience of my life I was sitting at a taxi stand waiting for my dad to pick me up#it’s like almost pitch black around 8.30-9pm for some reason and this guy comes out of his car shouting at the driver and threw a bag down#I just kept my head down didn’t look up cos um ok man with anger issues I guess#he sits next to me and after a while I hear hi repeatedly and I realise he’s talking to me and I thought oh maybe he needs directions so#I look up and he starts asking personal questions and shit and asking for my number and I just become paralysed from fear idk#I answer all his questions idk why I was just really scared he’d get angry and there was no one around and when he asked for my number I#told him oh parents said I cant give out numbers to strangers and also I’m pretty young and I tell him I’m 15 hoping it’d deter him#and he just tells me he’s 20 and continues asking and saying he just wants to be friends and at that point I was really really#fuck idk I was just really scared and no one was around us and it’s pitch black and it’s so stupid I was trembling a bit but thank god my#dad came and I just dashed to the car I fuck it’s so stupid he didn’t do anything but shit#and now it’s dumb I’m scared to go back to that station like I know he won’t be there but fuck that was actually the worst experience of my#life I should’ve gotten up and walked away but idk why I froze up#delete later
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so fed up with living here.
if anyone wants $750/month and has room for two quiet adults and a senior cat lemme know 😩
#i fucking hate living in a place where i am triggered all the god damn time#bc psycho housemate just HAS to slam doors and walk around yelling at the top of his lungs when he’s pissed off#i got into the shower and i heard him open his door and then immediately upon seeing the bathroom door closed#SLAMMED his door as hard as he could#like great my two worst fucking triggers#he walked around the place just yelling for like 10 mins#and i feel like i’m trapped in our room after 6pm#and like i have to walk on eggshells#i fucking hate feeling like a kid again#i fucking hate feeling scared in the place i have to live#fuck#seriously we are quiet clean respectful and used to living in a single room#you’d never see or hear us basically#we don’t drink or party#fuck me we pay for a single room what a wholeass studio should cost#fuck my stupid baka life#found some jobs to apply for that are remote so fingers crossed#sigh#gonna apply for disability also#we’ll see what happens#it wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t such an aggressive manchild#he reminds me of my stepfather and honestly it just makes it all worse#i feel like a kid again#no wonder i always feel like i’m in trouble here
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tag drop part two .
#tag drop .#˖ ࣪ . 🦢 𓂅 ˚⋆ 🥀 ｡˚ ⋆ i’m still haunted by the thoughts inside my head ⌗ ooc .#˖ ࣪ . 🦢 𓂅 ˚⋆ 🥀 ｡˚ ⋆ don’t you know that lovers shouldn’t make you cry ⌗ open starter .#˖ ࣪ . 🦢 𓂅 ˚⋆ 🥀 ｡˚ ⋆ i still hear your voice tryna rip my world to pieces ⌗ playlist .#˖ ࣪ . 🦢 𓂅 ˚⋆ 🥀 ｡˚ ⋆ knees down at your altar ; my cowboy in a crown ⌗ promo .#˖ ࣪ . 🦢 𓂅 ˚⋆ 🥀 ｡˚ ⋆ where the real thing comes as often as the california rain ⌗ queue .#˖ ࣪ . 🦢 𓂅 ˚⋆ 🥀 ｡˚ ⋆ came here for the weekend but i haven’t left in years ⌗ save .#˖ ࣪ . 🦢 𓂅 ˚⋆ 🥀 ｡˚ ⋆ thank god our matching tattoos last for life ⌗ scrapbook .#˖ ࣪ . 🦢 𓂅 ˚⋆ 🥀 ｡˚ ⋆ you can tell her that you love her as long as it’s a lie ⌗ self promo .#˖ ࣪ . 🦢 𓂅 ˚⋆ 🥀 ｡˚ ⋆ i’ll scare the shit out of you like nothing else ever could ⌗ starter call .#˖ ࣪ . 🦢 𓂅 ˚⋆ 🥀 ｡˚ ⋆ if i drown myself deep in this holy water will it wash away my sins ⌗ threads .#˖ ࣪ . 🦢 𓂅 ˚⋆ 🥀 ｡˚ ⋆ beauty is a knife i’ve been holding by the blade ⌗ visage .#˖ ࣪ . 🦢 𓂅 ˚⋆ 🥀 ｡˚ ⋆ when i’m screaming like a siren in the middle of the night ⌗ wanted plot .
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