#what a shitshow eh
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idk what’s going on but-
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Bad Luck Charm
Every race she had been to had been a shitshow. The sprint in China was no exception.
Lol I missed the quali for the sprint bc sleep and wrote this (bc the one time I don't watch lando is in first)
Lando wanted her at every single race she could attend. Now, these were few and far between, but he was happy to pay to get her to him if he needed to.
It was rare for her to attend the Friday practice sessions. She still had work and couldn't jet off to the other side of the world at a moments notice. But still, she promised to be there for the Saturday race.
The last race she'd managed to attend was Las Vegas, so it was understandable that she was on edge. But once she had landed in China and found out that Lando was starting in pole position for the sprint race, her worries eased.
Still, there was a race to get through.
She hadn't thought of being Lando's bad luck charm before. No, not until she read something that Max Verstappen had said, something about him winning so Penelope didn't think she was bad luck.
She didn't mean to think about every race she had been to and had Lando had either missed out on a win he was so closed to or didn't finish the Grand Prix.
But that was what had happened. Every win he'd been certain to win, he'd missed out when she was there. And now he was started on pole fir the sprint, dominating in a qualifying session that she hadn't been able to watch.
She seemed to be the only person that had figured it out, though. When she arrived at the track to watch Lando in the sprint, he immediately wrapped his arms around her.
His lips found the top of her head and he couldn't keep himself from grinning at her. He was just so fucking happy to have her there.
As with every race she attended, she kissed him, waited for him to put his helmet on and kissed that also. 'For good luck,' Lando said every time. (Oh the irony).
But then the sprint began. Lando didn't make it around the first corner still in the lead. Her heart sank as she watched him drop back into seventh.
It had to be her presence. What other reason was there? For some inexplicable reason the universe wanted to punish her and it was doing it through Lando.
As soon as she could, after nineteen laps of waiting and after watching her boyfriend finish sixth, she was in his arms. Lando wasn't happy with himself, ready to beat himself up, but having her there made it just a little bit better.
For the life of him, he couldn't work out why she was apologising. "Eh?" He asked as he gently moved her away from his chest to meet her gaze. "What're you on about?"
She looked damn near ready to cry as Lando looked at her. Whoever had made his girl cry, well, they had another thing coming.
But then she sniffled and wiped at the non-existent tears beneath her eyes. "Every race weekend I've gone to has gone to shit, Lan," she mumbled. "I'm your bad luck charm and I should fly back home before I make things worse."
Lando knew he shouldn't have laughed. But he couldn't help himself. It was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard. "Baby, you can't be serious," he said. When she didn't react he pulled her in again. "You're not my bad luck charm, you numpty. Plus, if you stop coming to race weekends I'll have to take time out of my practice sessions to drag you here myself. And then, boom, my racing gets worse."
"You're an ass," she said as she buried her face in his chest. He was an ass, but she loved him.
#lando norris#lando norris imagine#lando norris x you#lando norris x reader#lando norris fluff#ln4#ln4 imagine#ln4 x reader#f1#formula one#f1 imagine#formula 1#f1 x reader#formula one imagine#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 imagine
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big reputations - part three
series masterlist // previous // next
yuki tsunoda so when is daniel going to man up and invite daphne jones to a grand prix?
daniel ricciardo wow. this is a betrayal i never saw coming. my own teammate.
daniel ricciardo and i’ll do it when i can actually drive in one again?
lando norris BOO! COWARD! INVITE HER TO SUZUKA!
fernando alonso invite her before i do.
daniel ricciardo do not threaten me fernando.
daniel ricciardo why do all of you just assume i’ve talked to her?
max verstappen what is it logan says, ‘slide into her dms?’
logan sargeant never thought i’d live to see the day max verstappen said ‘slide into her dms’
lando norris there’s no way she hasn’t see the tweets from your fans.
george russell and you have?
lando norris they're practically thirst trapping the woman! of course i have!
charles leclerc sounds like a horrible excuse.
alex albon i thought we were all aware of lando's man crush on daniel??
lando norris fuck you albon
logan sargeant and he's trying to steal my boyfriend!
lando norris what the hell are you going on about?
logan sargeant don’t think i haven’t seen the heart eyes you send oscar!
oscar piastri do you just like picking fights with lando? AND WE’RE NOT DATING! STOP TELLING PEOPLE THAT
pierre gasly my favorite tweet was the one telling daphne jones that max will be a third wheel in their relationship.
max verstappen i hope you dnf gasly
kevin magnussen someone warn the poor girl that dating daniel means accepting max and his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s boyfriend.
sergio perez who’s his boyfriend? and boyfriend’s boyfriend?
kevin magnussen charles and carlos
charles leclerc HOW DID I GET DRAGGED INTO THIS?
carlos sainz and me?
esteban ocon that’s your biggest problem with that? not that kevin implied you two are dating? or max and charles?
max verstappen you two are shitheads
daniel ricciardo but this is so much fun
max verstappen fun for who? certainly not me.
daphne jones you're an f1 driver, you keep secrets all the time, how is this any different?
max verstappen BECAUSE AT LEAST FOR THAT I'M NOT CONSTANTLY GETTING ASKED ABOUT IT! IT’S ALSO MY JOB!
daphne jones those tweets were right, max has become a third wheel in my relationship
max verstappen YOU TWO AREN'T EVEN DATING??
daphne jones my hypothetical relationship
daniel ricciardo
max verstappen definition of down bad
daphne jones i'm taking your girlfriend out to dinner.
max verstappen excuse me?
daphne jones i'm taking out alex and pierre's girlfriends too. they're my girlfriends now.
daniel ricciardo YOU'RE IN ITALY?? WHEN I'M NOT??
daphne jones oops?
daniel ricciardo I HATE EVERYTHING!!!
¡leclerc-s speaks!
not going to lie, i didn't feel like changing the date on the final set of tweets. (i noticed too late and didn't want to go back and change it.) i'm like eh about this part and hopefully the next one is better. also manifesting vegas isn't the giant shitshow we're all expecting it to be. praying for the drivers' safety because the track is going to be fucking cold.
¡disclaimer!
this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
#leclerc-s#big reputations series#daniel ricciardo#daniel ricciardo x female oc#formula one#formula 1#formula 1 fic#fanfic#fanfiction#f1#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 instagram au#f1 fic
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Fuck this shitshow...This is it.
Dear This Is It Anon,
You mean this, right?
Lest they would think as they all collectively do, with the shared single braincell they use across the street, we are hiding shite under the carpet. Not my method, Anon, off - and online.
So, ok. He was there. We were on perhaps the worst case scenario, probability-wise, on that one: 50/50, which is sort of mildly excruciating, right?
I can only encourage you to watch that clip, Anon. There are always nuances in the worst of bullshit situations. Yes, she is smiling. Briefly to T (this page founds a lie beyond ridiculous) and then to the winner:
Yes, she looks relaxed enough. But never forget she is an actress, after all, at a professional event. What did you expect her to do, sulk? I know, it happened before, when she was perhaps way less thrilled, but people change and they learn from their mistakes. Narrative wise, her being awkward around McElusive was a PR mistake that had to be corrected/properly retconned. This seems to be the case, now, with a more natural attitude.
But you can fumble around and manipulate only that much of a given situation. The giveaway, to me, in this is TMcG (the hour is solemn, no jokes around, please) - still the same unkempt, DGAF, 70s called outfit, plus looking really, really strange. Unlike many on our side, I shall not elaborate - there is no need to. Yet it is plain to see something is unwell, especially when compared to the cortisone prosperity of the last sighting. Don't get me wrong: I have no ill wish towards this person. I just can't help but notice something is amiss, in all this forced, calculated, propagandistic Joy.
I am also fully aware there are many mean eyes watching me from the shadows across the street, Anon. I mean, seriously, BIF?
Of course, that is your page and you can write what the hell you want. Choosing to quote me was a rather successful ambush. Remember, however (really LOL, always LOL): wars are not won with just tactics. Ok, you have a questionable edge on this one - a wasted battle.
Wars are won with good strategy and a synoptic, not fragmented vision (making a huge affair out of each and every single detail), of the state of play. You may be a decent tactician, perhaps, but you are a lousy strategist.
Oh, and to think you are planning a get together at the Paris Landcon, too, eh? How nice and how copy/paste of you, folks. I wonder what you expect, a fucking remake of West Side Story?
I could say good afternoon and even shake your hand anytime, BIF. But I bet you wouldn't. You're a tiny, hateful person with an overinflated ego, like that.
Sorry, Anon, for the rant. I tried to be as objective as I could, under biased circumstance and harsh scrutiny. I just hope this brought more clarity.
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I wanna say, the Subspace Dub is a wonderful hot mess of a fandub.
It's incoherent as fuck, unhinged, when compared to like the others it seems like a bit of a shitshow but that's what makes it brilliant. The raw incoherent mess of lines and screaming makes it special and awesome
Like I woke up yesterday feeling absolutely fucking horrible, plain awful about myself, so I grabbed my laptop, popped downstairs and decided to work on my Planet Coaster parks to try and pep me up. I struggle to do things comfortably without some kind of background noise so I went "eh why not, the fandubs always make me feel better"
And I have no idea wtf I was expecting, having no knowledge of how practically undubbable {in the kindest of ways} the Subspace Emissary cutscenes were, but this one honestly brought me a lot of laughs and a lot of pausing and replaying after hearing random shit out of nowhere.
That and "WARIO, I'M GONNA WINN" is going to be my shitty little Echolalia repetition phrase for the entire easter break now so thanks
just thanks for making a silly little dub that brightened my day
❤️ Thank you for enjoying it! I hope your days have been a little better.
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Can I tell you a secret?
[Robbie Shapiro x F!Reader]
A/N: Hi! This fic is inspired by the gif above :) I've only seen a handfull robbie fanfics and I am still completely in love with that man so I wanted to write one myself :) oh and english isn't my first language! so sorry if some words are weird lol
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───
Summary: Robbie finally confessing his feelings for the girl he's been in love with for the past months.
Warnings: None, just extreme fluff.
It was the big night, the cow-wow dance was tonight and Y/n was pretty excited. It was her first schoolevent at Hollywood Arts.
"Earth to Y/n?" Jade said as they walked towards the school. In the 5 months that y/n attended HA Jade became her closest friend. Sure, she can be bit mean but for some reason she took y/n under her wing and since then they kinda became inseperable.
"Sorry, I'm just kinda nervous I guess?" Y/n said as she fixed the bowties in her ponytails.
"Nervous? for what? Sinjin in a hula?" Jade snickered
"No- no, not that." Y/n chuckled. "Even tho it is something I should avoid." She said.
"For what are u nervous then?" Jade asked once again. They finally arrived at the school and everything was very well decorated.
"I- eh-" Y/n stuttered but before she could finish her sentence, someone yelled her name.
"Y/n! Y/n!" She heard a familliar voice yell. She turned around and locked eyes with the cute curly haired boy. She smiled, but her smile faded quickly as she saw that he was with an unfamiliar face. Jade saw her smile fade.
"Ur finally here!" He said as he approched her.
"Yea, uh- we had some stuff we still had to fix-" She said but he interupted her.
"This is Gabriela, my date!" He said proudly and smiled. Gabriela looked up and gave Y/n and Jade a small smile.
"Hey" She said, a bit cold.
Y/n gave a weak smile and looked back at Jade, who was just staring with an angry look on her face.
Robbie didn't really knew what was going on as he looked at the girls confused.
"Well.. Okay, Im going to get something to drink for Gabriela, u guys want something?" He asked a bit hesitant.
"Yea s-" Y/n said but was interupted by Jade.
"We can get it ourselves." She said annoyed. Robbie shrugged and took Gabriela's arm as he wandered off with her. As they walked off Beck arrived, sneaking an arm around Jade's waist.
"Hey you guys, what just happend?" He asked as he took a sip of his drink.
"Robbie happend." Jade said annoyed as she took the drink from becks hand and took a sip herself.
"It's fine Jade, Really.." Y/n said a bit sad.
"No, it's not okay." Jade said and looked at Beck.
"We got work to do." Jade said and Beck just nodded.
"No, Jade, please. It's fi-" Y/n tried to say, but before she could finish her sentence Jade and Beck were already on their way. Y/n sighed as she walked towards the drink booth and took a cup of whatever. The first big event at her new school and it was already a shitshow.
"Hey y/n/n." She heard from behind her. She looked around and saw Andre and Tori walking up to her.
"Hey guys." Y/n said a bit devistated.
"What's wrong?" Andre asked a bit worried.
"I don't really know, I'm feeling all these things that I didn't knew existed until now." Y/n said as she took a sip of her drink.
"U wanna talk about it?" Tori offered.
"Not really, sorry." Y/n said and gave a weak smile. "Thanks tho." She added.
"It's no problem." Andre said as he looked at the time.
"Shit, we have to go on in like 10 minutes-" Andre said worried and Tori looked up.
"Sorry y/n, we gotta prepare for the show. But after that, we're going to hang and make the best out of tonight. Okay?" Tori said and y/n nodded.
"Thanks guys" Y/n said a bit happier and hugged them both.
"Imma cheer u guys on the whole show, u know that right?" Y/n chuckled and they nodded.
"You better!" Andre said as they walked away. Y/n was alone, again. Jade and beck were nowhere to be found, Robbie was probably dancing with that girl of his and cat? Cat was also nowhere to be found. Y/n decided to sit on one of the picnic tables in the corner of the parkinglot, still sipping her drink. Everyone was having fun time, why couldn't she?
In the meantime Robbie was being harassed by Jade.
"What did u do, shapiro?" Jade asked angrily as she grabbed the collar of his button-up.
"I don't know! What did I do?" Robbie asked confused, looking pannicked back at Beck.
"I have no clue my friend, but u better fix it now." Beck said, trying not to intervine with what going on.
"Jade- please. Tell me what I did wrong so I can f-fix it, please?" Robbie asked and Jade loosend her grip.
"You hurted Y/n, stop playing dumb." She said annoyed as she let him go.
"How- You know I would never ever hurt her on purpose!" He said, still a bit panicked.
"Did I hurt her..?" He added, now a bit worried.
"Are you fucking blind?" She basically screamed.
"I mean, kinda? I have pretty strong gla-" Robbie said but got interupted by Jade.
"She likes you!" Jade said while facepalming. Robbie's eyes wident.
"She didn't even have to tell me and I already knew by the way she acts around you. How can you be so incredibly dumb?" Jade added and sighed.
"Where is she?" Robbie asked in a hurry.
"I don't know, probably around here somewh-" Jade couldn't even finish her sentence or Robbie was already gone. Jade looked at Beck who was still just standing there.
"Let's get something to drink-" Jade said.
"Yea, good idea." Beck added as they walked away.
Y/n was still sitting on top of the picnic table, listening to the music. Her feet were dangeling off the side.
"There you are-" She heard a familiar voice say.
"Oh, hey Robs." She said without looking up.
Robbie sat down next to her and gave her a cup with something to drink. She took the drink from his hands and looked up.
"Thanks-" She said but looked confused.
"Where is ur date?" She added and looked confused. Robbie chuckled.
"I don't know, haven't seen her all night." He said as he placed down his drink next to him.
"I have a small feeling that we gotta talk" He said as he turned his head towards her. Y/n felt her cheeks heat up a bit.
"Okay- I don't know what Jade told u-" She started and looked down again but he interupted her.
"Look, Y/n," He paused for a second. The look on his face gave away that he was struggeling to find the right words. Y/n got a bit anxious, because most of the times when people are looking for the right words it's not positive.
"Can I tell you a secret?" He finally said and smiled a bit.
'Sure" Y/n said, still looking at the ground.
Robbie got close to her ear, as if he wanted to whisper something but instead he stopped, slowly raised his hand and slowly turned her head with his finger and gave her a soft, sweet kiss. She was taken a bit back at first. Butterflies exploded in her stomach as she melted away in the kiss. Robbie then pulled away, not breaking eye contact.
"Now I still don't know your secret-" Y/n said to break the silence. They both chuckled.
"I've liked you since the moment i've met you, y/n." He said softly which grew a huge smile on Y/n face.
"Well, good to know. Because I like you too, Shapiro." Y/n said and Robbie smiled.
"That's good, because it would've been weird if I kissed you and you didn't." He said and the both laughed for a bit. Robbie took y/n hand and sat closer to her. Y/n looked up again, stealing a quick kiss from him.
"Couldn't resist, sorry." She said and they both chuckled again.
"You can steal all the kisses you want from now on, no need to worry." He said and smiled. Y/n leaned her head on his shoulder.
#robbie shapiro#victorious#robbie shapiro x reader#jade west#beck oliver#andre harris#tori vega#cat valentine#victorious x reader
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hi! prompt for Roy and Jamie (as a ship or platonic is up to you!) if it interests you, could I request Roy getting protective over somebody hitting on and making Jamie uncomfortable at a bar?
I’m finding that Roy is a lot of fun to write. The man has presence. (There a LOT of *fruity* language in this one.)
Written as early relationship Roy/Jamie. Thank you for the prompt and hope you enjoy!
(Prompt Fill Masterpost)
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“Excuse me!”
Jamie turned around at the shout and grip on his arm, half a smile on his face from laughing with the bartender as he ordered.
A young woman was grinning at him excitedly, bouncing a little when his attention focused on her. She fluffed her hair with the hand that wasn’t squeezing his bicep.
“Alright, darling?” Jamie gave her a quick once over, expecting a request for a selfie if she happened to be into football.
“Are you Jamie? From Lust Conquers All?”
Ah.
He chuckled a bit and nodded, giving her his best photoshoot smile. You have to be nice to the fans, after all.
“Yep, guilty!”
“I fucking knew it!” she crowed, pressing in closer. Jamie felt the edge of the bar dig into his back. “I told my friends it was you!”
“Oh, you out with your mates, then?” Jamie glanced behind her, trying to spot a group that might be waiting to pull her back away. No one stood out and she ignored his question completely.
“It was a total fix, you getting voted off! You were well more fit than Danthony. He barely got his kit off.”
Right. Okay, then.
“Nah, he were a nice enough lad, actually.” Jamie told her, keeping it friendly and gently trying to pull his arm away. “Listen, d’you want a photo or…?”
“Don’t you think I look like Amy?”
“Eh…” She did, a bit, if Jamie really thought about it. It might have just been the blonde hair and hoop earrings, though. And that didn’t detract from it being a fucking weird question.
“Need a tray for your drinks, mate?” Jamie turned back to the bartender at the (very welcome) interruption and felt the woman’s hand shift from his arm to his chest with the movement.
He grit his teeth and gave the guy setting out his round a tight smile and nod as her polished fingernails scraped the skin exposed by his mostly open shirt.
“Shit, you didn’t let yourself go after the show, did you?” she asked, staring at his bared muscles and seemingly oblivious to any concept of personal space. “Buy me a drink?”
“Oh, er, no thanks.”
“Come off it.” She pouted at him and squeezed in closer, standing practically between his legs. “You can’t tell me I’m not your type.”
Jamie swallowed hard, glancing around now for his own friends. But the team were sequestered away in the VIP section, waiting on him returning with their orders.
“Look, sweetheart, I’m sure you’re lovely, but I’m currently spoken for.”
“Didn’t stop you on the show.”
“Fucking hell.” Jamie had to laugh. This whole thing was ridiculous. Even at the height of his prickiest moments, he’d known when to take a hint - apparently that memo was not universally received.
There was no room to move away from her, either. The club was heaving with people enjoying their Friday night and the crowd around the bar penned him in on all sides. A jostle from the group behind them had the woman pressed right up against his front.
She grinned, taking his incredulity and the sudden contact as a good sign.
“Oi, Tartt.” Oh shit.
The movement in the crowd had not, apparently, been caused by inebriated partiers trying to get closer to the bar. Rather, it had been Roy Fucking Kent pushing his way through to find out what was taking so long.
If panic at the thought of potentially causing a scene had been playing at the edges of Jamie’s mind, the idea of Roy seeing some random woman plastered all over him in a dark club dialled it up to a full-blown catastrophe.
This Thing™ between them was still fresh and new (and a bit lovely). He wasn’t sure it could weather presumed infidelity and a tabloid shitshow just yet.
Roy was frowning, no surprises there. His dark eyes went from Jamie’s face, to the new attachment on his chest, and back again. “Who the fuck is this?”
She bristled at the dismissive tone. “Who are you? His dad?”
Jamie winced. Ouch.
And the thing was, he wasn’t scared of Roy’s reaction. He hadn’t been properly scared of Roy for years. But, objectively, he knew that the man before him cut a pretty intimidating figure when he wanted to.
Dressed all in black under the strobing lights of a nightclub, he looked like a solid shadow with anger issues. Crossing his arms and raising his voice to be heard was all it took for a good metre radius to clear out around him, defying the laws of both physics and London nightlife.
Jamie was suddenly struck by the memory of Roy striding into a club, headbutting Colin, and giving them all a telling off. He’d been scary in that moment, and Jamie knew he’d had to admit to himself that night that his Kent crush was not as dead and buried as he’d hoped.
“Get the fuck off of him, you nutty arsemonger.”
Between her shock at the colourful insult and the extra room to manoeuvre, Jamie managed to extricate himself without much further fuss and snatched up the ready tray of drinks to use as a barrier.
“You can’t talk to me like that!” she seethed, cheeks flushed and hands gone to fists at her sides, her grip on Jamie forgotten.
“I can do a hell of a lot worse,” Roy growled. “Bugger off, before I call security.”
Sensing defeat, and perhaps the phone cameras no doubt being whipped out around them, the woman gave Jamie one last leering, disappointed look before stalking off in the opposite direction of Roy.
Jamie slumped in relief until he caught his (boyfriend?)’s gaze. Roy’s face was unreadable. He just stared at Jamie for a moment longer, then turned away.
“Come on, then. Been waiting fucking ages.”
Suddenly unsure if he’d been right to dismiss fear so quickly, Jamie followed along behind him, focusing on not spilling anything while his mind whirred incessantly.
They rounded the curtain that separated the VIP room from the rest of the venue and a cheer went up at the sight of a fresh round. Jamie set his burden down quickly, accepting the thanks of his teammates while constantly glancing over to the corner where Roy had settled to brood.
Grabbing their drinks, he made his way over and cautiously sat beside him.
“... Roy?”
“Are you alright?” Well, that wasn’t what Jamie had expected. Especially since the words sounded like they’d been dragged from Roy’s throat by force. “Be fucking honest.”
“Erm, yeah, yeah I’m fine. Thanks.” Jamie licked his lips nervously. “Why?”
Roy shut his eyes tight and sighed heavily. “Jesus Christ. Because you just had some tart’s hands all over you and she clearly wouldn’t take ‘no’ for a fucking answer.”
“Oh.” Jamie shrugged and looked down at his glass, tapping his thumbnails against the rim. “Used to it, ain’t I? Are you alright? Cause, being honest, I don’t know if you’re angry at me or not and it’s kind of freaking me out.”
His fidgeting stilled when Roy’s hand found his knee and squeezed.
“I’m not angry at you, Jamie.”
At the much softer tone, Jamie risked looking at him again and found Roy watching him with a pinched expression.
“I am wondering why you didn’t just tell her to piss off sooner.”
“It weren’t like I encouraged her!” Jamie protested.
“I’m not saying you did. Believe it or not, I have had my share of mental fans having a grope over the years.” Jamie fought down a flush of outrage and jealousy at that. “You don’t have to be fucking nice to them, though. You, fuck, you shouldn’t be ‘used to it’.”
Unable to resist, Jamie leaned in and kissed away Roy’s scowl.
“You’re sweet.” he murmured, smiling at the gruff protest he got in response. “No, you are. Deal with it.”
With a sigh, he leaned into Roy’s side and organised his thoughts.
“After I did that reality show, most of my brand deals and that just… went away.” He felt Roy shift beside him but the grip on his knee stayed steady, so much nicer than the hand on him earlier had been. “I got trashed online for acting like a prick and no one wanted to touch me. Not even City. Fuck, I had to beg Ted for another chance here.”
Roy knew most of this, of course. He even had a clearer idea now of why exactly Jamie had risked his football career for Lust Conquers All.
“I just. Everything’s better now. Life is fucking mint. But I know that all it takes is one shitty tweet about me being an arsehole or a dodgy video taken out of context and, boom. It’s viral and I’m untouchable again.”
“Fuuuuuuuuck.” The quiet exhalation made Jamie huff a laugh. Roy took a swig of his beer before speaking again. “First of all, we’re not going to let anything like that happen. And by ‘we’ I mean that entire gaggle of idiots, plus me, plus Keeley and Beard and Rebecca and Higgins and, fuck, even Nate these days.
“Someone says shit about you, all of Richmond will be up in arms to fight them about it, alright?”
He waited for Jamie to nod in acknowledgement before continuing,
“And second - I never had to deal with all this shit. The worst I’ve had is the press camped outside my house after some messy breakup or fight on the pitch. I don’t know how you lads do it with all the tweeting and posting and blogging you’re supposed to keep up with. It’s fucking exhausting just hearing about it.”
(Jamie very maturely refrained from making the obvious jokes about how ancient Roy sounded.)
“So if me doing shit like that -” He gestured vaguely in the direction of the bar. “Ever makes things worse for you, then I’m fucking sorry and you need to tell me.”
That was… genuinely very touching. Jamie snuggled in closer, throat tight.
“And finally,” Roy went on, pressing a kiss to head on his shoulder. “Your consent fucking matters, Jamie. If someone makes you uncomfortable, be as much of a prick as you like and damn the consequences.”
Jamie laughed again and shifted away to grin properly at Roy. “Is that you giving me blanket permission, coach?”
In response, Roy just gave him the middle finger, face hilariously deadpan. It really shouldn’t have made Jamie melt like it did.
He leaned in again, feeling safe in the relative privacy of their booth, and kissed Roy slow and deep. They were both breathing hard when he broke away and smirked.
“Maybe next time we go out, I’ll get to be the one prying some MILF off of you. Then you’ll find out exactly how much of a prick I can be.”
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Hai I heard you were open for some smutty Carmen requests and I was hoping if you can do some jealousy smut for dear old Bear? It can be from whatever situation!!
Bless 🙏✨
Summary: Carmen is set to apologise to you for spending so much time at the restaurant lately.
Pairing: Carmen Berzatto × fem!Reader
Content Warning: Smut With A Side Dish Of Plot (18+!), A Tiny Bit Angsty At The Beginning, Swearing, Oral (F Receiving), Explicit Sexual Language, A Tiny Bit Of Hair Pulling
Word Count: ~2k
A/N: Wake up, bestie! Your fic request just dropped! 🌸💕 I really hope you like it!
Hot steam rose from the pot right in front of you on the stove. The scent of slightly roasted carrots, celery and onions was spreading all throughout the kitchen while you found yourself busy cutting up a good amount of tomatoes into cubes. Their water content was meant to deglaze that very tasty layer of flavours currently stuck to the bottom of the pot.
With your treasured record player joyfully running it's needle over a Led Zeppelin vinyl for your comfort, you were so lost in your task at hand that you didn't notice the apartment door falling shut behind you.
" 'M home, babe!" It pulled you out of your thoughts.
"Finally, eh?" You reciprocated, trying to sound as cool about that as you possibly could.
On the inside, though, you didn't feel cool about it all. It's been a reoccurring theme for the past weeks that Carmy came home to you late... very late. Most of the time you had eaten already and just went to bed tired and somewhat worried.
"Yeah, today was rather rough.", You heard Carmen say, "Still, Sydney was all in! She pushed through like she's been there from day one! It's kinda impressive."
With that, you felt your teeth clenching. In a subconscious movement, your fingers wrapped themselves tightly around the masterfully crafted wooden handle of the knife, that was surely on the more pricy side, exceptionally sharp. Your knuckles turned white and your nails were about to leave marks while you tried to tell yourself that it was nothing over and over again. Sydney was simply a very good and competent cook, from what you heard most likely the only competent co-chef at the restaurant and absolutely nothing more. Nonetheless, you couldn't help yourself this time.
Hearing that name yet again posed to be the final straw that broke the camels back for good.
"Fucking Sydney, huh?" You muttered under your breath as you felt the inevitable avalanche of emotions breaking free.
Behind you Carmy halted for a moment.
"You okay?" He asked in a soft voice that only infuriated you even more.
In the way your lower lip started quivering and with searing hot tears already pooling at the waterline of your eyes, you knew that you couldn't stop this from happening anymore. With the last bit of proper reasoning inside of you, you let the knife go for it to rest on the cutting board next to the puddle of diced up tomatoes.
"For weeks..", In a helpless motion your head dropped to your chest "For weeks you come home in the dead of night, we barely see each other....barely really talk anymore and then the only thing I hear over and over again is Sydney here, Sydney there."
Inhaling a deep breath, you tried to steady yourself but it wasn't to any use anymore really. By now the dreaded tears were rolling down your cheeks in thick streams.
"Now take a wild fucking guess how okay I am, Carmen!' It spilled from your lips in a choked back sob. It sounded way too condescending and you felt sorry instantly.
"Fuck...shit.. 'm sorry." You felt like flipping the damn cutting board but that wouldn't help the situation at all now, would it?
"Are you...jealous?" Carmy's voice sounded absolutely dumbfounded and it nearly made you laugh in hysterical disbelief.
Did it really go over his head how the two of you had grown increasingly distant? Carmen busy with the shitshow of a restaurant while you clung to everything that kept you busy to shut down the gnawing voices inside your head that were spewing nothing but venom and your own insecurities at him.
"Sounds kinda like it, no?", You sniffled, wiping the tears with the back of your hand "What a load of fucking bullshit."
"No, no...I hear you.", In a few swift steps Carmy came up behind you. You were expecting him to hug you or something at least remotely close to that but instead his hand reached out from under your elbow to turn off the stove.
"I'm about to rip you a new one, Berzatto." It fell from your mouth in a soft laugh.
"Fuck, force of habit, sorry." He rested his chin on your shoulder and gently wrapped his arms around your waist.
"It's not a load a' bullshit.", The tip of his nose softly grazed over the crook of your neck, instantly giving you goosebumps "It's been a lot lately and I'm sorry."
Carmen's lips hardly touched your skin and yet they pulled all your attention towards them. He knew what he was doing and he was doing it fully and utterly on purpose.
"Carmen.."
"Huh?"
"It's kinda hard to stay mad at you when you're doing that." You couldn't help yourself but smile.
"Do you wanna stay mad at me? If it helps I could talk about how Richie-"
"Fucking Richard." You sighed in amusement and both of you laughed out a little.
"But seriously." ,Carmy's warm breath spread across your neck down to your collarbone "I'm really sorry. I know, I should've paid more attention but I'll make it up to you, promised."
Another warm breath followed until you felt his plush lips sink down onto your skin.
An entirely new wave of much stronger goosebumps erupted from that point, washing through your body like a tide. The sensation made you feel hot and cold at the same time and it threatened to hijack your brain already. It took but that simple kiss to your neck and sometimes you felt embarrassed by how weak you got for him, how empty he rendered the usually very loud chaos inside of your head like it was nothing.
"I should've said something." You stated, your hands leaning onto the counter as you felt Carmen pushing his entire body against yours from behind "I don't want to lash out on you like that, I need to-"
But he stopped you right there: "You need to stop thinking right now."
To underline his point, he pressed another kiss right beneath the first one. This time with more vigour, not leaving any room for mixed signals.
A sharp inhale from you followed as you noticed his fingers sneaking themselves underneath the loose fabric of your shirt. They gently caressed your waist and wandered down to your hips, taking a firm grip at them as you instinctively pressed your ass into his lap.
"What do you want me to do?", He whispered into your ear in a low voice inbetween carefully placed pecks to your neck "You want me to bend you over the counter? Or I could get on my knees for you if you want that."
Raggedy breaths hung in the air as you struggled to form a coherent thought let alone a whole sentence. You felt the blood rushing between your legs at the thought of any of it, your cunt pulsating around nothing.
"What can I get for you, chef?" Carmen chuckled softly before his teeth grapsed at your earlobe.
"Knees.." You forced it out of your mouth, feeling how your cheeks flushed with heat.
"Come again, chef?" Carmy asked in return, the wide grin in his face now audible because he knew how much it flustered you to have to speak it out loud.
"Knees, Carmy. Want you to go down on me." You tried to speak up as much as the situation let you.
"Heard, chef!" Carmy used the grip around your hips to push you to the side of the counter, away from the stove and turned you towards him.
His striking blue eyes met with yours the second he had you turned around and his fingers grabbed the curve of your ass the hoist you onto the counter. With a little gasp, you found yourself on top of the counter faster than you could really recognise.
"You're not even out of your jacket..." You noted as Carmen leaned in to press a longing kiss to your lips.
He tasted like cigarettes and coffee. The faint smell of his musky aftershave mixed with notes of frying oil, onions and sweat filled your nostrils and oddly enough you had found home in that concoction of scents.
"I don't care." He shrug his shoulders while his hands reluctantly let go of your ass only to get back to the waistband of your sweatpants.
As you rose from the counter ever so lightly, Carmen pulled it down in a smooth motion until the fabric was pooling around your ankles.
You repeated the same movement to shimmy out of your lace panties, discarding the clothes right onto the floor beneath you as Carmy pressed his statue between your legs, his broad hands cupping your thighs. He spoiled you with more deep kisses that threatened to knock the air from your lungs before he slowly dropped down to his knees.
Your eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of his breath hitting against the inside of your thighs and the warmth of his skin made your stomach drop in excitement. Since he had been so excruciatingly busy with the restaurant, neither if you really gotten more from each other than an exhausted kiss goodnight or quick hugs in between door frames before the two of you were off to separate destinations again and it hit you in this moment just how much you missed feeling him close to you, having his undivided attention like that. Growing gradually more bitter about Carmen trying to save the restaurant was one thing and in hindsight you felt somewhat selfish about it but aside from that you'd felt lonely if not frustrated already.
Fortunately, those reemerging feelings got washed away as fast as they popped up inside your mind by Carmy who buried his face between your spread open legs, the tip of his tongue eagerly pushing between your slik-coated folds.
A surprised moan fell from your mouth as you let your head fall back and basked in the electrifying sensation. With the full width of his tongue, ever so careful as to not press to hard against your throbbing cunt, he caressed your clit in even strokes. The steady rhythm allowed you to join in, grinding yourself against his face to increase the intensity to your liking.
"Please don't stop..." You muttered into the steamy kitchen air as your fingers got lost in strands of Carmen's curly, dusty blonde hair.
A low groan of his emitted from between your legs as you pulled a handful of strands carefully, shoving his face impossibly close to you. Taking that as a hint, Carmen picked up the pace whilst his hands wrapped around your thighs, locking you right into place as you inevitably started squirming in his grip.
"Shit...fuck...!" It rolled over your tongue in raggedy breaths as you couldn’t help but surrender to the rising tension in your whole body.
Bordering between endless bliss and overstimulation, your muscles grew more tense with each precise lick parting your folds until you just couldn't take it any longer. In a crushing wave of white-hot pleasure, that set every nerve on fire, your orgasm rippled through your body. You wanted to wiggle out of his graps but Carmen's palms wrapped tightly around you thighs simply wouldn't let go of you until the very last contractions eased off and you were trying to catch your breath above him.
With his chin wet from your release, Carmy rose back up to face you, a satisfied grin tugging the corners of his mouth.
"Apology accepted?" The tip of his nose touched yours playfully and you could smell yourself all over him.
"Heard and accepted, chef."
#carmen berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto#carmy berzatto#carmy the bear#carmy smut#carmy x reader#carmy x fem!reader#the bear fx#the bear#carmen berzatto × fem!reader
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"Yeah, sure, and I shit thermite. Be serious."
So. Maybe, he’d gone a little overboard after work that day. He’d admit that. Drinking the sad away wasn’t the most mature way to handle things, but when you got a letter from your dad saying-
Well saying that, you know, maybe it was okay to have a beer or two. In theory. In practice, that meant that two-beers-deep Earl had to somehow have enough willpower to say “naw, I don’t wanna become three-beers-deep Earl,” and then three-beers-deep Earl’s gotta say no to four-beers-deep Earl, and it’s just a bit of a shitshow from there.
Pardon the french.
At least he wasn’t on the clock. The worst thing that should’ve happened to him was waking up tomorrow with a fatass headache and upset friends. Instead, he was in the hospital, surrounded by men with guns, osmotically absorbing the most surreal conversation of his life.
“We’d heard that humans had remarkable healing abilities but this is incredible. Anyone else here would be dead, he’s just showing some signs of esophageal irritation.”
“We got any idea of the culprit?”
“We’re looking over security footage but the culprit must be some kind of ghost. We’ve gone over the security footage at least twenty times, nobody can spot a thing.”
Earl couldn’t help it. He spoke.
“What are you talking about?”
The detective and the doctor jumped at the sound of his voice.
“What the shit-
The doc’s hand went over the detective's mouth, cutting off the oath just a hair too late. The duo looked after each other, before the detective gestured for the doctor to go first.
“I… don’t have very much experience with humans. We thought it’d be a couple of days at least before you woke up. How are you feeling?”
Earl coughed a few times.
“Throat’s raw, head’s pounding, and would kill for anything fried in grease. Pretty standard hangover.”
The detective cut in at that.
“Eh, except for the part where someone poisoned you.”
Earl shrugged.
“Must not have been very good poison.”
The lawman didn't laugh.
“Hydrochloric acid mixed with potassium salts? You can bet your pink ass it’s a good poison. Anyone else here would be dying from a hole in their gut. You been making enemies on the station, colony-boy?”
Earl’s smart alec remark froze as his one semester of biology 101 clawed its way to the front of his brain.
“Oh.”
The detective clicked his pen, ready to start taking notes, even as Earl waved him off.
“No crime here doc, my stomach makes that stuff naturally.”
The doctor blinked even as the detective rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, and I shit thermite. Be serious pal, there’s someone here out to get you.”
Earl held his gaze, and after a few moments, the detective’s annoyed face transformed into numb confusion.
“...Hot damn, you aren’t joking. You’re telling me you can spew concentrated acid on a whim?”
The question hit a little close to him, and Earl felt his ears burn.
“Eh… not… on a whim. More like, after six or seven beers.”
The doctor grabbed a pad and began filling out forms of his own.
“Yeah, we’re gonna have to make sure you don’t do that then. You can’t just go around creating chemical waste every time you get sad. I’m going to have to get in contact with IT, set up some kind of cut off point with the cantina for you.”
Someone down the hall must’ve sanitized something because the odor of strong alcohol wafted into the room. It was all Earl could do to not empty his stomach a second time.
“Aye. That’s fair.”
#hfy#humanity fuck yeah#humans are space orcs#science fiction#creative writing#scifi#writing#humans can spit acid#advanced beer theory
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“Hello, to all of those listening to this. My name is unimportant, and what is lies in what it is that I do. One week ago today, the world was met with a flurry…of cards.“
“Every man, woman, non-binary individual, and seemingly sentient soul upon this earth was given what we’ve elected to refer to as ‘Tarrow Cards’, with a title on the front and a single word on its back.”
“Regardless of age, your card appears to have given you a new fascinating ability, most of which the world has never seen before. The world is changing quickly, it seems. No matter your belief on the state of the world before that day, it is now impossible to deny the supernatural state of this landscape we all live within.”
“Over the past ten years, you’ve likely read about the experimental city being built over international waters in the Atlantic Ocean. In this past week, due to the abilities of certain individuals involved, we’re able to now announce the opening of said city, in one month’s time.“
“We will require no passports, and no qualifications for citizenship. We have food, shelter, optional employment, and anything else you may wish to find.”
“I’ve been studying these cards, and the changes humanity has gone through very carefully. And I can state now, without a shadow of a doubt…this is a change for the better.”
An announcement that all throughout the world heard. Through the radio, through the papers. You heard or read it. The world is changing. It’s for the better, then…?
Followed by an announcement that all throughout the world heard, but none remembered.
The voice echoed throughout the world, seemingly without a source, heard both everywhere and nowhere. Somewhere within all that nowhere, this voice reached a room, lit by a single computer monitor. And in that room, something listened.
“WOW! THAT’S A LOTTA WORDS TO SAY, ‘DO NOT TRUST ME, I PROBABLY SMELL!’”
“C'MON, ‘MY NAME IS UNIMPORTANT,’ ‘NO QUALIFICATIONS FOR CITIZENSHIP,’ ‘FREE FOOD,’ LIKE HELLO? RED FLAG? THAT’S SOME MONDO SUSPICIOUS SHIT.”
“HONESTLY IF THOSE CHUDS BELIEVE THAT, THEY SHOULD GO TOUCH GRASS. I DID IT ONCE. HATED IT. BUT IT WAS GOOD FOR ME! NOW I HAVE SPECIAL EYES THAT LET ME SEE THROUGH BULLSHIT LIKE THIS.”
“… EH, I COULD USE SOME ENTERTAINMENT! MIGHT AS WELL GRAB A FRONT ROW SEAT FOR THIS SHITSHOW.”
“NOW, I JUST NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET ANYWHERE.”
“THIS MIGHT TAKE AWHILE…”
—
One Week: Brand New Life is a discord based 20+ Danganronpa OC roleplay, featuring discord submission trials and an active, plot-relevant deadzone, allowing dead characters to continue to freely interact with the living if they wish. Our cast will be exploring their recently developed powers in an ever expanding city over international waters that you yourself will help define and build. Twenty characters from across the world will get to experience a unique, extended prologue that will cover one year of in-game time, before the actual MKG begins. We aim to bring you a potentially lighter, relaxed environment, both in and out of character; while still being following the typical killing game formula.
The game will feature a flexible 4 to 5 week schedule over 5 chapters, as well as a prologue and endgame, with trials that last several days to accommodate varying timezones and schedules. Our trial system will be submission-based over discord, allowing players to submit their trial posts directly to the server’s trial channel, while still managing a flexible queue. The game will allow for supernatural, alien, robotic, and fantastical characters, as well as normal humans - although no matter your character’s initial status, everyone will be experiencing a new power set, to spread the love! The game will not feature a mistrial system, but will pledge itself into working dutifully with its murder teams to create cases that are both satisfyingly difficult, as well as ultimately solvable, without pushing cast nor killer unnecessarily far.
APPS OPEN / APPS CLOSE 3/10!
About | Hopeful | Hopefuls Discord | Mods | FAQ | Rules | Application
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till death do us part | Soap Fluff |
warnings: light mentions of violence(active warzone) but nothing graphic, mentions of guns, that's it. Pure fluff, nothing X rated. No Y/N but reader goes by Doll.
prepared to be sick of me!
word count: 1k (short and sweet)
summary: you and Soap have been dating for a little while and decide to take things to the next level...in an active warzone.
a/n: love this goofball, had to give him a little appreciation :)
You and Soap had gotten on pretty early from meeting each other. It was clear that the two of you were made for each other, always laughing at his cheesy jokes and pick up lines. From the moment you’d joined the task force you were to be his. Johnny wouldn’t think of himself as possessive, but the message was clear to everyone around, you weren’t to be even looked at the wrong way. When the two of you decided to go steady, Johnny walked onto base with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face.
“What, did you win the lottery or something?” Gaz looked at him with quirked brow.
“Better,” he grinned.
The two of you weren’t trying to hide your relationship at all, finding it impossible with how forward Johnny was, even before the two of you started dating. Price had a stern talking to for the both of you, but saw there was no real reason to prohibit the relationship from existing. And so it was. Your mornings would be getting breakfast at the diner, coffee for you, tea for him. After that, the two of you would have your own separate training to report to, keeping you away from each other for a few hours of the day. But other than that, the two of you were inseparable.
It was your dedication to each other that landed you in this exact situation. You were on a mission, a mission that was supposed to be a cake walk but quickly dissolved into chaos. The team was separated, all dealing with their own crisis, all except you two.
Johnny pushed you into cover behind a tipped over delivery van, quickly diving after you. You fell back against the truck, trying to catch your breath as you reloaded your magazine. You only had two left. Great.
“You hurt, lass?” Johnny looked over you in worry.
You shook your head, letting out a sigh of relief. You gestured to your SMG with a frown.
“I’m almost out though,” you said.
Johnny nodded, pushing on his radio, “Bravo 6, you read?”
“Read, you and Doll in the clear?” Price said over the radio.
“Not quite, lass and I pinned down,” Johnny said.
“Shite, hang in there, clear out as many as you can until we call for evac,” Price ordered.
“Aye,” Johnny said with a frown, looking over to you.
You shrugged with a small smile, “eh, could be worse-”
Not even a second later and rain of bullet fire came down on your cover, the both of you crouching lower in hopes to not be hit.
“Shit, fuck, shit, fuck-”
“You said that already, love” you smiled before becoming serious, “what do we do?”
“Stay down, and if any get close, on sight,” John said.
You nodded in agreement, keeping your head turned to listen to the gunfire. But the funniest thought came into your head causing you to giggle.
“Can’t imagine what you find so funny from this sorry shitshow we’ve got ourselves into,” Johnny smirked.
“It’s stupid, but…” you looked to him with a smile, “if we get out of this-”
“When, when we get out of this,” Johnny corrected.
“Yeah, when we get out of this,” you smiled, “I want to get married.”
Johnny's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. He nearly dropped his gun right then and there as he looked for any hint of a punchline.
“You’re serious?” He said.
“Yeah, I mean, you never know if either one of us won’t come home, and I don’t know about you, but I’d rather go out knowing I’ve spent the best of life with the one I love.”
For a moment, Johnny was left speechless, which was a rarity, before a grin took over his shocked expression.
“You know lass, it’s usually the man who proposes,” he laughed.
You shrugged, “who says you can’t propose?”
Johnny smiled, turning to you, “I don’t have a ring yet, lass.”
“Don’t need one,” you smiled, “not when I have you.”
“Alright, love,” Johnny fixed himself to sit on one knee, “will you make me the happiest man on earth and give me the honor of being your husband?”
You smiled wide, tears welling in your eyes before eagerly nodding, “yes, yes!”
You wrapped your arms around Johnny’s shoulders, meeting him in a gentle kiss. Pulling away, Johnny didn’t look away from your loving gaze.
“Why wait for a bloody ceremony, we’ll do it now,” he smiled.
You looked at him in confusion as he pushed the radio on again.
“Cap, you there?” Johnny said.
“I'm a bit busy here!” Price said roughly over the intercom.
“Me and Doll are getting married,” Johnny said, his gaze never tearing from you, “we want you to officiate the weddin’ now.”
“What the- bloody now?!” John shouted over the radio.
“Better now than never,” Johnny said.
“Do I look like a fucking priest to you?!” Price said before gunfire interrupted his words.
“You’re a captain aren’t ya?” Johnny joked.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding,” Gaz said. “You two are crazy.”
“Congrats to the happy couple,” Ghost said coolly as if not in the middle of a warzone.
“Not of a bloody boat --This is fucking crazy,” John grumbled, “alright, alright! Johnny, do you take Doll to be your wedded wife?”
Johnny captured both of your hands in his, staring deeply into your eyes with longing.
“I do.”
“And, shit-! What I just said, Doll!” John shouted over the radio.
You sniffled, “yes, yes, I do.”
“Now kiss you bloody lunatics!” John said.
“Don’t need to tell me twice,” Johnny grinned, smashing his lips over yours.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as the force cheered and congratulated you over the comms. When the two of you finally separated you couldn’t help but grin like a bunch of lovesick fools.
“How’s it feel to be Mrs. John McTavish?” John grinned.
“Like I’ve won the lottery,” you giggled.
“Wonderful, can we focus on not dying now please!” John said.
You and Johnny both rearmed yourselves with your weapons, looking over at each other with a new sense of determination.
“You better not die on me, husband,” you smirked.
“Wouldn’t dream of it, wife.”
#johnny soap mactavish#soap#soap mctavish#cod#soap x you#soap x reader#soap x yn#mw2#price#ghost#gaz#call of duty#fluff#cuties#drabble
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Berlin (Netflix) - episode 3
Episode tres starts with the quintessential presentation of the heist plan to the heist team, except a couple of minutes in Bruce gets peckish and restless and gets up to raid the fridge and Berlin takes it personally - he decides to go LOCO on his ass and make everyone uncomfortable (and probably bullies Bruce into getting alcohol poisoning)
You know what would have been hilarious? (and probably would have led to Bruce getting murdered lol) If after he finishes drinking all that champagne and Berlin resumes laying out his plan, Bruce gets up to pee the heroic amount of liquid he had to ingest under duress.
It's episode three and we get a sort of explanation for the set-up of the series. Sergio gets an honorable mention (he's too busy working on his own heist to be there)
and it's explained why Berlin's not working with "professional" thieves - shocking no one, Andrés' ego is so big there's no room for others'. Also, the new team is "enthusiastic" and "not hardened by apathy", which he implies that professional thieves are, and the new team can listen and learn from everything Andres is teaching them. Well that turns out-- surprisingly okay, given the shitshow that follows.
((Berlin touches Damian in a way reminiscent of how he gets all close and personal and touchy with Martin, except that Berlermo magic is absent. What I'm saying is that Berlermo >>> Darlin and no matter how tactile Andres is, his relationship with Martin IS extraordinary, unique, marvelous))
"Because, if we are to end bullet-ridden on the streets of Paris, we'll leave five beautiful bodies behind -- and Damian's"
This is where we get HOW the heist will happen - they're taking control of the CCTV and literally cutting the back of the vault clean off to be able to enter/exit as their hearts desire. We see them do it, we actually get to see them heisting like pros - and as it happens this is one of the few scenes of them actually doing the heist that's at the center of the show. (But the show isn't JUST about the heist, we get that; I just thought there would be more heisting involved)
Meanwhile, instead of watching his team break into that vault with baited breath, Berlin creeps on watches Camille and plans to spend with her the few days until the vault is filled and "enjoying Paris".
Which he does, by taking the woman out to lunch in a public place, having lobster because he apparently REALLY loves seafood.
It's the second time he refers to her as "self-centered"; he's projecting so hard he could open a cinema.
His plan to fuck Camille in the bathroom (klassy) is interrupted by her husband who annoys Berlin to such a degree that he's looking at the available cutlery like I WILL FORK THIS DUDE IN THE NADS (a fairly hamfisted callback, imo. I'm precisely the type of person to be pleased by this mention but I'm-- strangely eh about it?)
Rant; to be the wait staff at that restaurant, casually watching the patrons only to see this woman using lobster-eating cutlery to cut off her underwear in one place and then magic it off herself somehow. IN FRONT OF PEOPLE'S SALADS.
We then get a throwback to the original Banda talking about what they'd do with the money - and I'm fine with it, and with seeing Keila go through all stages of horniness around Bruce.
Oh SNAP Damian's joining the divorced club, lol. Did not see it coming. Also, I specifically said how I agreed with his outlook on love? Hahahahah. Hah.
After a Berlin sex scene that I was (for some reason?) not expecting, we're treated to a glimpse into whatever's motivating Camille (tl;dr - it's basically FOMO) and Andres makes a comment that made *my* heart jump --
What does it mean?? Is it a Martin reference? (No)
We need a gif compilation of Berlin dramatically going through doors in this show. @wedgeantill - how does that sound? :D
After that dramatic exit we get one of the most cringe-worthy slow-motion montages of Berlin being happy in the most over-the-top, theatrical way that I fast-forwarded through during both times I watched the episode. But good for him, I guess; way to bag the wife of the guy he's currently robbing. (*)
Back where the main act is set to take place, Damian's going full
Meanwhile Cameron has the ingrate job of reminding the people in charge of the team as well as the audience of the fact that they're all there to do a heist, and that they'll have to do it THAT VERY NIGHT. Which begs the question-- where is Berlin?
Roi is the one who has the privilege of finding that out
(basically "I just had sex but my girlfriend's husband is cool with it")
as he tries to get a word in edgewise and tell Berlin to put it back in his pants because they have a heist to do.
Poor guy Roi is the same one who has to listen to the utter mental breakdown that Andres has in the car back to Paris, that culminates with
Perfectly normal, sane response.
NGL, I laughed so hard the first time I watched this scene. The #priorities on this man.
(*) REMEMBER season 5 when he's confronting Rafael for sleeping with Tatiana and he goes -- whenever I see a guy that I find hot dressed well I want to fuck his wife.
Guy took one look at Francois and FELT THINGS. This explains everything.
Me:
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Can you tell us more about who England refers too as mother? And did you divide the UK siblings roughly into two pairs because of Roman Britain? I'm sorry you just keep dropping hints and no one else has asked 💌
Oh lord, okay. So disclaimer, working with prehistory is a fucking crap shoot. Archaeology has a lot of interpretations and not as many facts as historians and archivists like me, especially who studied modern history, would like. And even when history does come to the islands in the form of the Roman writers, that is also largely questionable because propaganda is as old as human communication. So I try to work with what we do know, but before a certain point, I'm basically writing fantasy. But also, no one has to work with history ever in a fucking stupid anime fandom. I'm just a diagnosed anxious headcase who copes with the uncertainty of existence by researching the fuck out of every choice I've ever made sober, including this shitshow of a blog and predecessors. Most of my focus is on much later history, so I'm taking a minimalist approach here and making as little work for myself as possible while at least taking some guidance from history to fit the themes I like so none of this is likely going to be the best take, tbh. That said, onwards into the breach, I fucken guess.
Can you tell us more about who England refers to as mother?
Yes. So most of the time, the conglomerate characters of "Germania" or the fanon "Native America," where dozens and hundreds and thousands of politically interlocked or entirely separate cultures are smushed into one character, make zero sense to me. In the case of Native America, it's downright racist, and in the case of Germania it's basically sucking Tacitus off 2,000 years after the fact. But Brittania could make sense. Being an island separated from mainland Europe made for some attractive socio-political and cultural unity hinted at in writing after the Roman invasion and before the fact in the archaeological record. But how long before the Romans? Where do I begin with Brittania, eh? The Red Lady of Paviland? The Creswell Crags? The Starr Mesolithic Site? Neolithic Chambered Tomb-Shrines? Stonehenge? The Iron Age Hillforts? Ah! There we go, the Celtic arrival in Britain. i.e. the option that makes me do the least work to get the job done. The Celts arrive in Britain about 1,300-800 BCE and in Ireland about 800-500 BCE depending on who you read. There is one tribe among the Celtic that had strong links to Britain and Ireland. The Brigantes were stuck in the border region between what is today Scotland and England, with at least some sort of material connections in Wales and Ireland. So my shortcut to a decent storyline that had some basis in fact, was to have her people interpret her as their patron goddess of Brigantia and link her tightly to Celtic paganism and weakened by the invasions of Rome but also the widespread adoption of Christianity in the 5th century. She was a proud woman who enjoyed the worship she once knew and who loved her children fiercely. She was every bit a Cartimandua or Boudicca. And when Christ and his nails bled her to death, her sons eventually dug her a barrow at the foot of an iron age hillfort, and her only daughter braided her hair and placed her golden jewelry on her one last time and their world was never the same.
And did you divide the UK siblings roughly into two pairs because of Roman Britain?
Yes and no. The Romans did take and hold England and Wales but Wales was much harder to hold onto. Under the Romans, life didn't change there or in Scotland nearly as much as in England. My main reason for splitting them into Brighid and Alasdair and Rhys and Arthur beyond much more modern politics is linguistic. Scottish Gaelic is much more related to Irish than it is to Welsh. And the Welsh word Cymru once referred to both the Welsh and Cumbrians. Now Cumbrian is a fascinating little language that is now dead, but it left a fantastic legacy in its counting system. @oumaheroes headcanons it as being something he uses to refer to his weans, and I, sobbing, concur wholeheartedly. I also have made random references to a shitfaced Arthur babbling in Cumbrian. So with that being a Celtic language in what is today England, et voila, two pairs.
#Britannia and her children || they made a desert and called it peace#the ask box || probis pateo#Alasdair || my heart's in the highlands#Arthur || stone set in the silver sea#Brighid || an bearna bhaoil#Rhys || my word for heaven was not yours
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Lo puedes negar hasta el cansancio pero cada vez te me pareces más y más a Puffy-Liar! su mismo modus operandi, hablas en círculos, te crees dueña ds la verdad absoluta, escribes largos "rants" donde hablas mucho pero no dices nada. Es cuestión de tiempo para que traigas de vuelta tus "privy info", "close to SC sources" a tu amiga Stella y el "vault" con las fotos de SC y el bebé rubio. Supongo que en WordPress ya no eras tan popular y extrañabas tener los shippers rogandote para que compartas la información de tu amigo "long throat" ya sabes, Puffy siendo Puffy. 😅🤣🤣
Oh, but hello you Master Troll Anon,
For the delight of this fandom, may I translate your venomous rant, that was supposed to what...? scare me? ... make me run for the helicopter on the roof, Ceaușescu-style?
You can deny it until you get tired, but every time you look more and more like Puffy-Liar! The same modus operandi as her, you talk in circles, you think you are the master of absolute truth, you write long rants where you talk a lot and say nothing. It's just a matter of time until you bring back your privy info, close to SC sources, your friend Stella and the vault with the pictures of SC and the blonde baby. I suppose you were not as popular on WordPress and you missed the shippers begging you to share the information from your 'long throat' friend. You know, Puffy being Puffy.'
Since your reading comprehension is so perfect, I will answer you in English.
I hope my letter finds you well, btw.
First of all, it's Deep Throat, not Long Throat. But you know... barista/barrister... Deep Throat existed, during the Watergate Affair. His name was Mark Felt and he was the Deputy Director of the FBI, supplying Bob Bernstein and co with all the needed info. Puffy's is a figment of her imagination, as you all know it.
I have doxxed myself not once, but twice . And I did it on purpose, because I knew you would do exactly this, in order to feel alive, perhaps:
First, my mugshot:
Posted on July 30th, while recounting my visit to Olympia: https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/724219876757176320/a-stupid-shippers-guide-to-the-peloponnese-part
Yes, darling, this is me: a Romanian, 45 year-old, Roman-Catholic diplomat. Not a 60+ Jewish widow from Massachusetts :
Then, because you were harassing @bjj3007-ichoosetobelieve, I posted this flat denial on August 18th: https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/725983370933354496/jeez-louise
In Romanian. Had I done it in French, my second mother tongue, you would have screeched it was inconclusive. Silly twats.
As far as I know, Puffy has some rudiments of French, but that's about it. Sorry, doll. Wrong number.
I don't care about your slanderous, uneducated and vulgar opinion. I despise your harassment attempts on people who were only liking what they were reading and were very warm to me.
You are not the first one to try and scare me. You have yet to prove I am a liar, with hard evidence, not with impressionist camelos.
There is at least one woman in this fandom who knows my name, my full mail address and all the specific details. Because she recently used them and got confirmation that I am who I said I am, I have the job I said I have and I live where I said I lived.
Her delicate gesture moved me. Yours brought a sort of disgusted amusement, if at all possible.
I know who you are. If I were you, I'd think twice before going on with the shitshow. I am not implying anything and I will not lose my time with you in court (my best IRL friend, the Madrid abogada, will gladly do it pro bono, btw). But you have nothing and you will continue to have nothing.
Because there is nothing you can have about me. I said it all, almost.
What this outburst is telling me, is one darn inconvenient thing for you, people. So, I'll say it in Spanish, cariño:
¿Vds tienen mucho, mucho miedo, verdad?
I promised to be your worst intellectual nightmare. I meant it.
So far, I think I am not faring that bad, eh?
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i would Love to hear abt ur kathea wip :-) -dayurno
thank you @dayurno it’s an honor and thank you @fandomnerd101 i hope this provides what you also asked for <3
Adler’s PiPs ~ Project: Kathea 🌺
Kathea Lore 2:
Their 2nd “meeting” (1st being in therapy and vvv ugly) is when Kate and Aaron mutually break up after her return from the psych ward and his return from Thanksgiving (see dtyfstf); although the fic wouldn’t start there, that is the moment that created this spin-off ship/fic/project/AU.
Having heard how much shit the Foxes are going through, Thea flies in to check in on Kevin who has ghosted her (thus breaking her promise again of no-contact but way, way worse).
In a scene reminiscent of Andreil’s first meeting, Kate and Thea literally run into each other when Kate exits Aaron’s dorm so fast she slams door 317 into Thea and falls into her.
Because Kate is crying so hard and because Thea does not want their therapy group to get on her back any more than they already are, Thea puts her Kevin mission on hold and takes Kate back with her (idk where yet… hotel room? Bar? Diner? Cab?) to “support” her therapy mate.
Thea is the more surprised of the two at her decision to take Kate under her wing (u know like a raven).
Kate starts to believe Thea is not as bad/mean as she projects in group therapy.
Thea doesn’t understand why she went out of her way like that, why she acted so out of character, so she proceeds to /gently/ but firmly kick Kate out, call her an Uber, and the next time they see each other, weeks later, in group, Thea is cold and distant.
That's the main scene to be written at the moment, the thing that’ll start me up and show me the golden path of Kathea.
Miscellaneous thoughts:
To me they're like if a nymph (Katelyn) and a goddess (Thea) fell in love.
While it causes no real impact on Kate’s career (cheer + med) to be queer, Thea’s pro Exy career is highly at risk, what with already being an ex-Raven and a Black woman in a mixed sport; it’s important to me that we’re all aware of that; and thus despite both women being each other’s first sapphic/queer relationship, they have widely different backgrounds and stakes at play in committing (or not) to this new love.
Katelyn doesn’t want to see Thea as a threat, for herself, Aaron and the Vixens/Foxes, but sometimes the way Thea handles her past and present is scary, and Kate doesn’t know if Thea is trustworthy with everything (and Riko) going on; those who have read ‘dance ‘til you find someone to die for’ know why trust and betrayal are big issues in the Katheaverse.
However, Thea doesn’t know anything about the vastness of Riko's evils; her main tormentor has always been Tetsuji Moriyama.
Riko acted the way all male Ravens (except Jean and Kevin) have always treated her: with misogyny and bigotry. Riko wasn’t special, not with her, not to her; but she doesn’t realize yet the Ravens were a cult, that it wasn’t normal, that she has repressed some things and that what is hurting her inside is also hurting others, whether fellow ex-Ravens like Jean and Kevin, or outsiders like Kate and Aaron who become collateral damage wave after wave Riko creates.
Of course I’m playing with the age gap between Thea (26-28) and Kate (20-22) because I think it’s very sexy and I’m self-projecting what I wish would happen to me love-wise 💅 I also previously thought about bringing up Thea’s trauma with younger partners (i.e., the whole Kevin grooming shitshow that was made-up by a-hole fans) to lay the issue to rest once and for all, but since some of y’all provoked Nora Sakavic into defending Queen Theodora Muldani and blasting y’all to dust, I don’t think I will! But who knows. It was important to me at one point, I’m just saying. More crumbs for you, eh.
Katelyn Young (Mackenzie) Lore:
Full name: Katelyn Beth Mackenzie Young
Height: 5’4”-5’5” to Thea’s 6’0” 😌
Career aspiration: Neonatology (Addison Montgomery did a lot for her)(and not just career wise *wink wink*)(she hasn’t realized that yet)(Thea is a lot like Addison u know *wink wink*)
Relationship history: before Aaron came along, her first real love, she had 2 boyfriends. Number 1 dared slap her twice before she ended things; Number 2 cheated on her with 4 different girls while they dated. Aaron was the first to treat her well, to heal a bit of her trust issues, to be completely devoted to her. They’re very important to me. I love my boyo Aaron and he deserves recognition for the love he gave Katelyn and fought for.
Kate is an only child from a very strict family; the parent she is closest to is her step-mother.
And that's what i got for now. A lot and nothing. But thank you again for enabling me. I love my girls. Again, if any of yous would like to request more of Kathea or more of a particular project, head over to my pinned post to see the list of 'Adler's Projects in Progress (PiPs)' and ask away!
#project: kathea 🌺#adler's pips#kathea 🌺#aftg#all for the game#the foxhole court#katelyn mackenzie#katelyn x thea#thea muldani#theodora muldani#katelyn/thea#aftg katelyn#aftg kathea#katelyn young#dtyfstdf#dance 'til you find someone to die for#aaron minyard#kateaaron#riko moriyama#tetsuji moriyama#kevaaron
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temptation┊tbosas/skins
sejanus has to switch rooms on a school trip due to his roommate– and supposedly best friend– being a bit of a homophobic asshat. he ends up bunking with coriolanus, leading to some.. very, very interesting conversations... (based on 1x06)
word count: 1k
trigger warnings: some homophobia, suggestive content, cheating, peer pressure (ish)
a/n: tbh i don't really like anwar and don't care enough about him to give him a solid character in my au so he's gonna be interchangeable :] here he's represented by hilarius who i have selected to represent chris in my au!! also this is more of a "missing scene" than anything because i do plan on turning this into a full fic some day
It's not every day your next-door neighbor since childhood offers to give you head. “For comfort,” he said. “We're in Russia. I want to try something new! And you need comforting.”
The icing on the cake? Sejanus might have a bit of a crush on the boy as well…
The first time Coriolanus had asked, he knew it was a joke, but it still caught him off guard. Professor Sickle had decided it would've been a good idea to take the senior class on a trip to the remains of Russia to study the economy before the war that brought the downfall of most of the world– Including America. Russia was one of the only remaining places on the earth that still resembled the Old World.
Sejanus had originally bunked with his friend, Hilarius, for the trip, but after a few homophobic comments? He couldn't wait to get out of there. So, him and Festus (who was the straightest man alive– a perfect fit) swapped rooms, leaving Sejanus with Coriolanus.
“You wanna talk about it?” The blond asked him as he unpacked.. Or, rather rearranged. Their hotel room was small and dingy, it would be able to fit one person just fine but two boys? They were lucky their suitcases were so big. You could even argue that it was holding enough for three, since Coriolanus had packed more than enough for this trip. He was staying for a week, not a month.
Sejanus opened his mouth to say no originally, but decided against it. “.. I guess he's just decided to feel a different way on me being–”
“District?”
“No–”
“Short?”
“Gay!” Sejanus blurted out, turning around to face the other. Coriolanus only nodded, leaning back on the bed before flashing him a grin.
“I could give you head?”
The brunette nearly choked. “Wh– No!”
“It'd cheer you up.”
“For fuck's sakes, Coryo, you're my friend! I came to you with a problem, and you-”
“Slow down.” Coriolanus laughed, standing up. “C'mon.. We're in Russia. I wanna try something new.”
“It's not a hobby, Coriolanus, I–” Sejanus was cut off by Coriolanus’ lips on his own. It took nearly every ounce of his willpower to push him off. “Coriolanus, please! I'm not a hobby!” He began again. “This isn't canoeing or–”
“Eh.. Canoeing isn't really my thing. This could be.”
“What about Lucy Gray?” He asked, changing the subject. Maybe it'd bring him back to his senses.
“Lucy? She likes canoeing just fine.”
Sejanus groaned, covering his face with his hands. “That's– That's not what I fuckin’ meant..”
“Then what did you mean?”
The two boys were cut off by the door opening, and Lucy Gray's head poking through. Speak of the devil. “Sorry to interrupt.. Sej, y'mind if I talk to Coriolanus in private for a moment?”
Sejanus bit his tongue to refrain from lashing out. “No, yeah… Sure.”
The next time Coriolanus offered, it wasn't all fun and games. After a shitshow party and a bunch more arguments, Sejanus was ready to call it a night.. Which he couldn't even do because Lucy Gray was passed out drunk on his bed.
Whatever. Coriolanus got him into this situation, so it's only fair that he surrenders his bed for the night. The brunette slipped off his shoes and shirt before flopping down onto his bed, head throbbing already. He'd be hung over the next day without a doubt.
He had nearly dozed off when suddenly, something planted itself on his abdomen, forcing all the air out of his chest. Sejanus gasped, brown eyes flying open. He looked up to see Coriolanus sitting on top of him, baby blue dress shirt half unbuttoned, and sleeves rolled up. His blond curls were disheveled, probably from having run his hands through them so many times.
“C-Coryo? What the fuck-?!”
“My offer still stands,” Coriolanus whispered, grinning like a madman. “I saw you at the party.. You're the king of moping..”
“Coryo, please get off–” Sejanus looked away, desperate for an escape. Coriolanus just so happened to seat himself on his hips, applying just a tad bit of pressure to his already semi-hard cock. He really didn't need the added embarrassment of a boner.
He lifted his hands to push the blond off, finding his wrists caught and pinned down by the other. Coriolanus shifted, pressing against him harder, leaving Sejanus to swallow a groan that threatened to bubble out of his throat.
“Coryo..” Sejanus tried not to gaze down at his lips. He really did. But they were just so soft and plush and… Perfect. Coriolanus caught his gaze, and closed the distance between the two of them, kissing him for the second time this day. It was the first successful attempt, though.
Coriolanus’ grip on his wrists loosened. Sejanus took advantage of that, moving his hands up to cup his pale cheeks. When he felt a tongue prodding at his lips, though, he was brought back to reality. Gently, he pushed him off. “.. Coryo, we can't– Lucy Gray is–”
“Passed out drunk. She won't know..” Coriolanus persisted, kissing his cheek before trailing kisses down his neck.
“Still-! It's– It's wrong! We can't..” Sejanus sat up. “.. You're with her and you're not gay and–”
“Who said I'm not?” Coriolanus cut him off again, moving off of his lap. “I know you are.. So I figured maybe we could play around, huh? It'd just be two friends helping each other..”
“For fucks sake, would you listen to me for once?! That's what I've been trying to say, Coriolanus!” Sejanus paused. “We.. Can't mess around. Even if you are interested in men, you have a girlfriend.. Does she even know?!” Coriolanus shook his head no. “Then why are you doing this?”
Coriolanus shrugged. “Why not?”
“Oh, for the love of–” Sejanus grabbed his shirt from off the floor, sliding it back on before smoothing it out and standing up. “I'm going to stay with Clemensia..”
“You can't! Same sex pairing only, remember-?” Coriolanus called out, cut off by the slamming door.
#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#tbosas#tbosbas#thg#the hunger games#skins#skins uk#coriolanus snow#sejanus plinth#snowjanus#coriolanus x sejanus#tbosas au#skins au
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