stuff will be late or will be posted tomorrow because i have difficulties to get that video

For the anon who asked if I had a tutorial on how I make gifs! I made one that covers just about everything about my gif-making process 💖 

A summary of things included in this tutorial:

How to rip videos from nearly everywhere

How to make a basic gif using videos

How to slow down a gif

How to color gifs

Stuff you need:

Windows 10 (for the built-in screen-recording program*) / Xbox Game Bar

Photoshop CS6 or higher

VLC Media Player

PC/laptop

*I like to use the Xbox game bar because it's straightforward and doesn't require any technical shit to make it work. It's plug and play! But if you don't have this, here are some alternatives:

OBS Studio - used for streaming and screen recording, free and open source! lots of tutorials on Youtube for beginners

VLC Media Player - all purpose media player and Youtube video-ripper, also free and open source

You’re gonna have to look elsewhere for OBS and VLC tutorials but they're not terribly hard to get used to. It's just gonna take a little extra work to make gifs that way.

I. Get a video of the thing you want to gif

High quality vids make high quality gifs so I like to source them directly from HD/Bluray digital copies as much as possible. This is how I do it 90% of the time:

1. Open the source video in my media player (I use VLC) 2. Open the Xbox Game Bar 3. Record a short clip from the source vid

I prefer to do this because it's easier to work on a short clip with a small file size in Photoshop. 

If I can't download the videos, I rely on screen-recording from wherever it's available (Youtube, Streamable, Twitter, Instagram, etc.). Any video that can play in a browser is fair game.

How to use the Xbox Game Bar to record your screen

you don't need a microsoft or xbox account to use it

can record videos from media players and almost any video that plays in a web browser (not sure if this works with Netflix on a browser though)

How to use VLC Media Player to rip videos directly from Youtube

doesn't always work but it allows you to find the exact address of a Youtube vid and save it on your PC like you would with pictures

most videos aren't high quality when ripped like this but when I got nothing else to rip from, I can't be choosy ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

II. Make a standard gif file

1. Open PS. Drag/drop your video in PS. The 'Timeline' window should appear on your workspace. If it doesn’t, go to Window > check 'Timeline' near the bottom of the menu

2. Make a new file with the usual tumblr dimensions (Width: 540px for 1 column posts/ 268-268px for 2/ 177-178-177px for 3, Height: up to you)

3. Drag and drop the vid in the new file then close the video file.

4. On your new file in the Timeline window, click on 'Create Video Timeline'

5. In the Layers window, right-click on the video layer and select 'Convert to Smart Object'

6. Resize the video.

7. You can move the start/end bars on the Timeline so it only includes the part of the clip you want to gif. Skip this step for now if you plan to change the speed of your gif.

8. Save your new file. You don't have to keep the PSD and source video in the same folder but I recommend you do.

III. Adjust the speed

1. Double click exactly on the thumbnail graphic of the video layer--not the layer name or the gray area around it! It should open a new window with 'Layer 1.psb' as the filename.

2. Right-click on this video's Timeline. It should show a small tab that allows you to change the speed of your gif. 60-70% gives it a noticeable slow-mo effect.

3. Since we slowed the clip down, we have to lengthen it. Drag the arrow at end of it all the way to the right until the you can't extend it further.

4. Press ctrl + s to save the changes in 'Layer 1.psb' and then close that window for now.

5. Go back to your main file (LALO 01.psd in my example) and adjust the length of the clip on this Timeline like you did on 'Layer 1.psb'.

6. Readjust the start/end bars on the Timeline so they line up with the part you want to gif.

III. Make it pretty

There is one effect that makes a gif instantly prettier and that is Smart Sharpen. Look for 'Filter' on the top menus. Click on the video layer, click on Filter > Sharpen > Smart Sharpen. 

If the scene you clipped is well-lit and if you are not doing anything fancy, this might be all you need to do. But if not, you can find every tool for color adjustment in the Layers window:

These are the ones I use often:

For adjusting brightness/contrast: Levels and Selective Color

For color correction: Color Balance, Selective Color, Photo Filter and Vibrance

For cleaning up artifacts and reducing noise in nighttime/dark scenes: I use Selective Color and turn up the black anywhere from +5 to +15

IV. Save the gif

I usually do a bunch of tweaks here and there before I save the final gif. I go back to adjust the speed, to recolor or change the length of the gif, whatever I feel needs retouching.

1. Press Alt + Shift + Ctrl + S all at the same time or click File > Export > Save For Web.

2. I use these settings:

3. Check that the file size doesn't exceed 10mb

4. Click ‘Save’. And we’re done!

Found Footage and the Juxtaposition of Hope & Despair in Tape 6

This is Phil at his most found footage: choppy, with static and shaky, awkwardly-angled camerawork. It ever offers an explanation for why it exists on film (perhaps on an unknown tape, as per the title) without an implicit vloggerish approach; it stands out from other weird!Phil vids in that. Phil establishes himself as tasked with recording a surprise party, which gives us a home video angle.

But functionally, the work of fragmented, apparently nonlinear storytelling we get from Tape 6 isn't so different from other weird!Phil vids like The Silver Button. I'm not well-versed in found footage film, but the nonlinear nature stands out to me as not typically how film works (unless some person or force is going back and forth and recording over pieces). So I'm thinking that it might be somewhat unusual to have found footage storytelling that is non-chronological in this way.

As soon as we get Phil's character and the basic situation, we also get a sense that the character doesn't really know what he's doing in terms of filming, and various found footagey elements are a result of technical difficulties and just his lack of skill. Just eight seconds in, he cuts out mid-sentence and comes back in mid-sentence, talking about it working. This sets up a sort of status quo for the format, without anything sinister going on. Our cameraman just wants to show us a Twister beach towel and celebrate Tim's birthday. But the next time it cuts out, we get some trademark weird!Phil voice distortion and the ominous contrast of "I don't think I want to play this game anymore."

The quick jumps between "normal" cheery Phil and Ominous Phil where something is Clearly Going On is classic weird!Phil. It's a thing he does often and well, and while in some vids he physically illustrates the difference with costume changes, face markings, or a different accent, here (as in some others) it's all in his performance. Here we get both Ominous Phil and what may be "normal" Phil, later on, not enjoying the "awesome" time he predicted, but crying and upset over Carl (not one of the generically named friends mentioned earlier). The contrast of Phil's hope and his darkness (even just in shots of him biting his own arm) is where the heart of this lives for me.

It's worth noting that Phil uses four fairly generic masculine names in Tape 6 (he does tend to use them, including the ones here, in other vids as well), and three of them seem to me to be implied to refer to the recipient of the surprise party. Initially, we're told that the surprise party is "for Jack." Then we hear that, "only Tim's party can have a Twister beach towel" and "when Sam walks in, we're all gonna jump out like, 'surprise!'" The effect of this is, I think, lightly disorienting; we can't quite get a handle on who occupies this world with our cameraman, and when he cries about "Carl," I'm not sure if this is a new person or another name for Jack/Sam/Tim. Anyway. Back to something that resembles chronology.

For the first half of the video, we don't have any sense of what went wrong or where the glimpses of voice-distortion Phil and or Phil's despair come from. But the surprise party setup does lead to it, albeit a little hazily: Phil (as Jack or Sam maybe? He seems to be playing at least two characters at this point, as we move into the voice-distorted temptor and the tempted) receives a tiny present. With instructions.

The words "surprise" and "instructions" are highlighted by their repetition in this section. (Earlier, this is perhaps foreshadowed by the repetition of “I can’t get it to stay”; like with the choppiness and static, it gets introduced innocuously as camera difficulties before it gains ominous undertones.) Later, we get similar repetition plus more voice distortion on "Open it," "No," and "I can't." The latter repeated words are the focal struggle in the video (and "no" is interesting because it's repeated both in refusal to open the box and earlier, as a generic expression of distress), and "surprise" is a concept that gets a lot of focus in the setup and is built to as a turning point, so "instructions" is the one that seems the least intuitive to me. The repetition here seems to stress the importance of the fact that Phil was warned, but the choice of the specific word "instructions" is also interesting; as opposed to a warning (which is how I would interpret the text on the box), he calls in "instructions," which implies that it's instructing him on how to do something. How to destroy the world, or how to save it? We don't know who wrote the instructions or why. ("Instructions" could also imply that someone is telling him what to do. But they don’t actually say to open the box or not, just what will happen if he does.)

"Opening this box marks the beginning of the end. If you open this box, the entire world will be destroyed." It's another scenario where the fate of the world is in his hands for no apparent reason, where a simple action could have apocalyptic consequences. In this case, he's explicitly warned of that. And in this one, he calls it out more directly than most: "That's a lot of responsibility." Where in vids like The Silver Button and Sebastian: Universe Defender, he stumbles into destructive situations fairly naively (even with a similarly explicit warning in Sebastian), here Phil says no. Several times. This feels more along the lines of The Basket to me, in terms of showing internal conflict and acknowledging responsibility (albeit here it seems foisted upon someone innocent rather than The Basket's deeper entanglement), but also in the way the opposing points of view gradually bleed into each other, so the dark and light of Phil seem to speak in one voice. And the last word before Phil opens the box is "no." The verbal opposition is still there, it just loses real meaning along with control over Phil's actions.

And there's our moment of truth, with new visual distortions, the presence of a toy creature, and a return to the biting we saw in a briefer clip earlier. This seems to me to be the time that clip was from, now earned with the opening of the box. Without the hat, wrapped in a sheet, is another Phil, looking disoriented and lost rather than feral. And now that we have a sort of explanation (such that it is in the world of weird!Phil) for what's gone wrong, we cut back from the chronological nightmare to our cheerful cameraman, getting ready for the surprise. He's beaming and waving to the camera as it cuts out for the final time.

The choice to bookend the video with the optimism, to give it a cyclical structure without any illusion that the story itself is cyclical (at least to me it's very clear that the ending takes place earlier and cameraman Phil is definitely not going to have a great party afterwards), really works for me. It brings it back to that heart in the contrast, in the hopeful expectations and the destructive reality. Phil's hope and positivity at the end mean something different than they did at the beginning, even though the situation being set up is the same. He doesn't know anything more than he did, but we do. And going back to that after the dark side feels like going home to a safe place that just... can't be safe again. It feels right, but also just wrong in a satisfying way that feels right.

Ahaha. Here I am again with sharing another vid of this same bloody song with meta pasted alongside it. It’s weird how so often my gut feelings over a show ended up hitting right on target. 

Like in some other vid comment I said that this song was practically Hyungbin/Soohyuk suffering song. In which few others also agree/had the same opinion and few others argued that it’s not. Since the song appeared in Jongbeom’s scene as well. But now after the drama was concluded and we saw the full picture, there should no longer be any doubts as to whom this song mostly represented. (Like you should watch this vid and look at the lyrics/translations of the lyrics and think about Hyungbin/Soohyuk’s plot throughout the series.)

That said, I might as well do a meta on Hyungbin/Soohyuk now. (Been meaning to do this for a while tbh.)

Since KBSdrama youtube tend to share clips of the current airing drama clips shortly after the episode air, I tend to check the channel out whenever I’m following any certain KBS dramas that I like. And because of that, I tend to read people’s comments as well. Bad habit. There’s something that bothered me a bit about how some people viewed Hyungbin/Soohyuk’s character. Like how they said Hyungbin was an incompetent policeman (for assuming Gong Jicheol the serial killer etc) and how Soohyuk was such a corrupt prosecutor (for having falsified evidence etc) and using that as the reason why they prefered Gong Jicheol/Cheon Jongbeom as their preferred character. While yeah, everyone is allowed to have their preferences I can’t help wanting to defend that Hyungbin/Soohyuk was not the kind of people they think they were.

I mean, how would you expect Hyungbin to figure out the real killer especially when the dude (Gong Inu) was technically ‘dead’ officially? And that time period... there’s still no DNA technology, at most people could test for blood types... as well as fingerprint analysis. And with the many conflicting details (different person who kills, different person to put on the socks on the victim, different(?) person that paints the portraits of the victims...) that didn’t quite make sense, how could Hyungbin figure out who was and wasn’t a suspect? It’s not like Hyungbin was some bigshot cop who had informants all over the place!

(Not to mention the whole how the hell Gong Inu manage to fake his death... but we gonna set that argument aside for now.) With all that already present, making Hyungbin’s investigation a bit problematic to figure out... isn’t it VERY troublesome when you have this kid Gong Jicheol trying to ‘fake’ a new victim, under the pretence of wanting to create a new brain-dead person who could later become a heart donor for Haeeun, by linking his murder to be a part of Gong Inu’s serial murder? Would that be Hyungbin’s fault that Gong Jicheol end up falsely accused for Gong Inu’s murder? While it’s true that Haeeun didn’t exactly see Jicheol murdered the woman, she was there when the woman screamed after being hit by Jicheol, and that salon had only ONE entrance and Jicheol was the only other person inside. What you gonna say about that? Gong Jicheol DID. STILL. MURDERED. A PERSON. And Haeeun ended up having testified for that... albeit under false accusation as it was assumed to be part of a serial murder when it was not.

And this guy also happened to have a big crush on Haeeun and have a habit of shadowing her night and day. And it also happened that Gong Inu was also aware of this crush... and you also have a very carefree Haeeun who still happily carrying around a YELLOW umbrella when a serial murder case with the victim’s being women WITH yellow umbrellas still unresolved. (Oh no... it got Dooly’s picture on it. No dear, IT DOES NOT MATTER!) Do you think, with all this being stacked on Hyungbin’s conscience, that dude will not be EXTRA wary and protective over his girlfriend who happened to have a weak heart and also happened to be the daughter of a couple he inadvertently led to their deaths because of a criminal that he had been chasing after? Do you think that guy will NOT be very frantic when he finds out the stalker that shadowed his gf happened to keep HER UMBRELLA at his home as well as being caught burning the actual keepsake of Gong Inu’s murders in the open??? How on earth would you think that Hyungbin would NOT see Gong Jicheol as a murder suspect? Heck, he was even MURDERED in order to have Gong Jicheol be blamed for his death!

HOW CAN YOU THINK HE WAS INCOMPETENT DETECTIVE WHEN HE’S JUST BEEN INVESTIGATING BASED ONLY ON THE INFORMATION THAT HE HAD AT PRESENT? Also about him initially refusing to have Haeeun testify against Jicheol. Oi, Haeeun had a weak heart. Do you think Hyungbin would want to risk endangering her wellbeing by having her testify at court just so he can get Jicheol jailed? After what happened to her parents?

When Gong Jicheol ran away and try to look for Haeeun, what did you think the first thing that came to his mind? Haeeun’s safety! And he had a reason to be worried. Gong Jicheol did attack the doctor who was checking on him! And we don’t even know if the doctor was only slightly injured or DEAD.

Also on Soohyuk. We were given a brief back story on how Soohyuk’s father ended up suiciding because he felt responsible, due to the fact that the criminal to whom he thought was repenting on their crimes ended up KILLING the witness who testified against them right after they were released from prison. How do you think that incident would’ve affected Soohyuk? As much as his late father had told him to believe in the good of people and that we should give chance for them to redeem themselves, after what happened to his father, do you think he’d trust the words of criminals that claimed to have turn a new leaf and regretted their crimes? Would he ever again trust the words of a criminal? Then, weigh all that to his reason for using unidentified remains and fabricating evidence to make sure all criminals get locked in jail and never again hurt anyone he cared about. Unlike Cheon Seoktae who did it mostly to rise in ranks, Soohyuk just want to keep criminals off the streets. Yes, while his methods may be too extreme... consider this. Can you always know for sure whether someone was innocent or guilty of a crime ESPECIALLY when you don’t have enough evidence/unable to find any evidence because the criminal hid it too well? If you somehow fail to convict a murderer and let them go free, how’d you feel if those criminal create even more victims? Wouldn’t all that guilt haunt you for life afterwards? Then tell me, if you can judge Kim Soohyuk and the people supporting his methods for doing what they did? (The drama DID hint on that tbh, like Dr. Yoo mentioned something about a past case... but we never got to hear about that because the drama sucks on the development of the crime plot.)

Also on the part when Soohyuk shot Jongbeom. That very scene that was almost a parallel between the earlier Hyungbin-Jicheol confrontation. On both situations Hyungbin and Soohyuk was in a state of alarm and panic over Haeeun/Sabin’s safely. And then you have Jicheol/Jongbeom being dodgy AF in between them. And afterwards, both of them made a sudden movement. You think anyone could think long before reacting to the situation? When even ONE SECOND could change between life or death, especially when Soohyuk thought Sabin was hurt (the blood spill from outside, her being tied up, Jongbeom holding a knife and hulking over her menacingly)? And all this could’ve been avoided had Jicheol/Jongbeom just stayed still and disarm himself and allow Hyungbin/Soohyuk to be at ease and be assured that Haeeun/Sabin was safe. Like Jicheol/Jongbeom argued that no one cared to listen to them but on the other hand they also did not bother to listen to others or trust them? So you cannot put all the blame solely on Hyung/Soohyuk for reacting to the situation as is because it’s either that or losing someone they loved. Soohyuk himself had said that the incident was also traumatic to him as well. Meaning he wasn’t also in the calmest state at that time!

Also, I ended up arguing with some other people who still insist that Soohyuk deserved his bad ending because Soohyuk needs to pay for his past sins... even more than Jicheol, and WTH was that LOGIC? As if Hyungbin wasn’t already paying for it by becoming Haeeun’s legal guardian as well as fiancee because of his guilty conscience for indirectly causing Haeeun’s parent’s death to the extent of him having symptoms similar to Haeeun's heart attacks, as well as him being content JUST by seeing Haeeun alive and well thus he ended up going to the extremes in order to protect her. HOW MUCH PUNISHMENT DID YOU WANT THAT POOR FICTIONAL PERSON CARRY?

*breathe*

This should be enough then for Hyungbin/Soohyuk meta. Anything else I’ll just be throwing it all out on my fics. Even if no one would unlikely be reading any of it because of how messed up this drama had been. I need to take a break at writing this. Cos all the anger that resurface while typing this made me feel sick again I need to get something to drink.

N7 Challenge 12 and 13 (Green and Militay)

Summary: What do you do when a lolita is being targeted? Apparently, the answer is make Commander Shepard crossdress. Fun fact, you can’t fit armor under a petticoat. The vids lied.

---

“Commander Shepard, are you in position yet? You should be getting close soon.

Honestly, Alistair wasn't sure how he got himself in these sorts of positions as he edged closer to what was probably the most unenjoyable mission he had ever been on. Well, he understood why people asked him to help prevent trouble; he was good at that sort of thing and had a track record for being a boy scout anyway.

He just didn't understand why he had to do it in a fucking dress... and why the hell was it mint green? He hated green.

---

“Do you ever read your fucking email? There was like a million in there.”

“Why are you even reading my email anyway? Don't you have something else to do?”

Dumb question, of course Bo read his email when he wasn't looking. Snooping was part of being a little sister. However, Alistair was still not too sure if it was part of the duties of being his XO. That all but convinced him she needed a favor and he wasn't going to like it.

Bo at the moment was at his door, looking as though this was important. However, if she was the one introducing the matter, then it couldn't involve the Alliance. That should tell him he should say no... but he would be a terrible CO if he ignored it.

Talk about a rock and a hard place...

At least she didn't completely bowl past him as she entered the room and sat at his desk  He had been a little busy making sure Saren was well situated, but so be it. Technically, it was her job as XO to bring up important matters.

“Yeah, like make sure a very good friend of mine doesn't die.” She tapped a few details. “Alright, you can go ahead. He's in the room.”

Yes, because it was his room. Why did he get the feeling this was going to be a nightmare?

A face appeared on the screen of his computer, prompting Alistair to step away from Saren's cage and close the lid. He dusted off his hands as he watched someone steady themselves. Then he briefly glanced over at Bo to make sure he wasn't being punked. Based on her body language, that was still a possibility.

“My thanks for being our go-between.” The person on screen was wearing... well... he wasn't sure. He wanted to say it was a dress, but the rest of the ensemble made his brain think otherwise. Then again, he wasn't exactly known for being up on fashion anyone, so maybe he ought to close his damn mouth. “Commander Shepard, I don't doubt you're wondering what's going on.”

Yes.

“Things have quieted down since you, Bo, and Archangel took out the trash on Omega. However, there are still some malcontents that make things difficult.”

He was using way too much energy keeping his eyebrows from leaving his face. “I don't doubt that. Is everything alright...”

He trailed off. “I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch your name.”

She smiled. “Bo did say you were polite, but she didn't mention what a gentleman you were. My name is Alice.”

Of course her name was Alice. Why wouldn't someone dressed like a living cake not be named Alice? But there was something about how thick she was laying it on that unfortunately activated his gender euphoria.

“Alice, then. You can call me Alistair for now.” He nodded his head. “You mentioned malcontents. Are we dealing with Blood Pack, Eclipse, Blue Suns, or some new outfit?”

She sighed, and again, laying it on a bit thick. “I'm afraid it's the Blue Suns. My father was at one point involved with them, and he racked up quite a bit of debt. I would rather he handle them himself, but they've set their sights on me. A friend of mine mentioned they would be by, and I worried for my safety. You know how they are, Alistair.”

Yes, Garrus' face was proof of that.

“Bo mentioned you were one of the Alliance's best defense biotics before the two of you became Spectres. If anyone can stop them, it's you.”

Ok, he knew when he was being buttered up. Any more, and he feared he might start sliding around the room. Whatever she needed, it was going to require something he definitely didn't want to do. That's why he shot Bo a blank look as she tried not too look too innocent.

“I can understand that, but why come to me like this? All you had to do was ask.”

She definitely looked a little nervous. “Well... there has been word one of their men will be around next week's circle. If someone were to take my place, with your abilities... I wouldn't be worried about them getting hurt.”

Alistair's eyebrows definitely left his face that time as he lost it. “Wait, are you suggesting...”

He look from Alice to Bo, and then back again. Sweat trickled down the back of his neck as reality set in as he put the pieces together for what they both wanted. No wonder they had been trying so hard to get him to say yes.

There was no way in hell.

Bo cut in before he could say no. “You're the only one who can pull this off, Al...”

“And why the hell is that?”

“You're the only one who can fit into the dress we have, Alice is your size and you both weigh about the same. Once you're in, they're not going to notice the difference. It'll only be a couple hours!”

He made a gesture towards himself. “I know I don't look like much, but I have a little more muscle than your friend here.”

After all, he was a space marine... they did go through boot camp after all. He might not be as strong as Bo, but he could do more than few push-ups without embarrassing himself. Sure, he was lean muscle... but it was still muscle!

“Don't worry, the petticoat and blouse can cover any of your muscular up. Add in the wig and makeup and I doubt your own crew would even recognize you.” Alice sounded almost amused. “Bo knows what to do.”

Oh, great...

Alistair scowled as he shook his head. “I'm not doing it. Get somebody else.”

“Nobody else in the Normandy can fit in the dress. You're the perfect size and weight, and you're biotic.” Bo was ticking reasons off her fingers. “And if you do it, I'll make sure you only have shifts with Garrus.”

…

Technically, as CO he could do that himself. But it wouldn't look good if he did. If someone else...

Fuck.

The Spectre grimaced as he ran a hand over his hair. “What kind of dress is it?”

Alice sighed in relief on screen. “I have just the coord for you. It's one of my first, but it's still in style. Bo, you know what to do!”

Oh, he was going to regret this...

---

“Hey, you look good as a brunette.”

“Shut the fuck up, Joker.”

Alistair's face was burning as he waited in the airlock to be let out into Omega. They had docked in a side area so nobody saw him walk out of the Normandy. After all, he was supposed to be undercover. Walking in with a Spectre ship was just asking for trouble.

So was what he was wearing...

“Relax, you're going to wrinkle it.” Bo was next to him, smoothing the skirt over the petticoat. “Just remember what we told you.”

He shot her a look as he resisted the urge to run screaming. “Don't worry, I spent 4 years pretending to be a girl. I'm an expert at it.”

Only... he had never worn anything like this. The skirt and shirt he was wearing were light green and brown, reminding him of mint chocolate chip ice cream only not tasting like toothpaste. There was too much lace and detail for his taste, but at least it wasn't a miniskirt. Even better, no heels. He would've died if they were heels.

And... well the shoes made him a little taller.

“You got this, Commander.” Joker was enjoying this way too much as Alistair adjusted the wig – brown, way too long and curly with a bow in it - “you got your gear?”

He shot the helmsman another look as he pulled his red Striker pistol out of the purse Bo had given him. “I've got spare clips in the purse.”

Unfortunately, no hard armor though. He had tried to fit a few pieces in under the skirt, but it had 'ruined the silhouette' or something like that. So he was mostly relying on his biotics and the shield he had built into his omni-tool. He was still wearing that, only it had been cute-fied with a new band to disguise it.

Luckily, he had disabled all photo taking capabilities on the Normandy before coming out. No way this was winding up in a tabloid.

Bo nodded as she made one final adjustment. “You got this.”

“I got something alright.” The airlock dinged, signaling he could leave. “Well... here goes nothing.”

And then he was on his own, walking down the plank with careful steps. At least this part of the docks was abandoned. Still, he sighed as he adjusted his gait to fit the skirt he was wearing. Something about petticoats rubbed him the wrong way...

Fuck. He was going to suck.

---

“We've been looking for you, Alice. You're a tough girl to find.”

Great... at least he didn't need to look too hard.

Alistair felt the sweat drip down the back of his neck as he felt the bricks dig into his back. There were two mercs in front of him, both wearing Blue Sun armor. They were grinning, and there was nothing fun about it. Not only that, they were packing heat – heavy pistols and rifles on their backs. Both were serious artillery.

And he... had a pistol in his purse.

He cleared his throat, trying to make his voice sound higher. “I have no idea who either of you two are.”

“Don't play cute.” The bigger one got closer. He smelled like stale booze, but it wasn't strong enough to make his eyes water. “We told you if you came around here there'd be trouble.”

Ah, nobody told him about that. He was going to need to chat with Alice about that later once these two were either dead or unconscious. Right then, he was leaning to the former as he tried to keep his calm around the two.

“Must be hard to run in skirts like that... maybe we should test it?” The smaller one was starting to unholster his gun – it wasn't quite heated up yet. “We'll give you to the count of three and maybe we won't shoot you too much.”

Ah, so they weren't going to torture him. Alice really fucked up. Luckily for her, she was somewhere else entirely. Him, not so much.

“Are you really going to shoot an unarmed woman?” He gripped his borrowed purse tighter. “What kind of men are you?”

Shitty Blue Suns, that's what. Why hadn't Garrus shot these two in the bridge assault?

The big one chuckled. “Pissed off ones owed a lot of money.”

Well, unlucky for them that his brain was his strongest weapon. Alistair hadn't wanted to do this, but if they were going to start shooting... well he wasn't about to let Alice's skirt get dirty. So it was time to get down to business.

“I'm going to give you both the chance to back down and leave me alone.”

They both laughed, but of course they did. After all, he was wearing a frilly dress and platform shoes. It wasn't like they could realize what the look in his eyes meant, or know that when he clenched his fist around the purse strap it was his trigger gesture. At least they figured it out when they both started hovering off the ground.

It wasn't his flashiest ability, but it got the job done.

“What the fuck?” The little one tried to grab for the ground, but he held him higher. “Shit, I can't get down!”

The big one tried to reach for his gun, but it floated out of his grasp and landed at Alistair's feet. The biotic instead reached into his purse and pulled out his Striker. A few seconds, and it was humming with a round.

“Now then... are we going to listen?”

They both paled as he checked the safety. “You are going to tell me who is bothering Alice. Then you're going to turn yourself in. Do we understand?”

He didn't get an answer, so the Spectre clicked the safety off. The ready meter was bright green now, indicating how many shots he had. The number was full, with more than enough to put the two of them down permanently. If he somehow missed 72 times, he had more rounds in his borrowed purse.

But he needed to save those for round two.

“Y-you're not Alice... who the fuck are you?”

He shot them a blank look. “A friend. Now, talk. I'm not going to ask a second time.”

Mostly because they were both fucking heavy and it was hard to focus with the quasi-corset he was wearing. Besides, anymore and someone might come around and see someone in a dress holding two mercs at their mercy. That would be bad for the Blue Suns, and his targets would be dead before he got the promise out of them.

He kind of needed that.

The big one had given up trying to reach the ground. “And if we don't?”

Alistair raised the pistol. “I have a pretty good rating for heavy pistols. Not the best, but I didn't fail. Do you want to see my training in action?”

Well, he hadn't failed at the very least... but it wasn't like he had aced the tests either. He'd never be an Archangel, but... he did alright. Definitely good enough to shoot someone at close quarters like that. Hopefully they didn't make him use it.

“I don't think she's kidding...” The little one looked as though he was about to piss himself. “I-It's our boss. His name's Gern. Big dude with a missing eye. Can't miss him!”

Excellent. He would know who to aim for.

The big one glared at his partner. “You idiot, he'll kill us both!”

“She'll kill us now if we don't!”

Well, actually Alistair had no plans to shoot anybody. When it came down to it, he wasn't fond of shooting fish in a barrel. More than that, he didn't want to get the dress dirty. After all, he had to give it back after. But for the moment, they could think what they wanted.

As long as they didn't piss themselves. Gross.

His favorite snitch was shivering now. “C-come on... let us go so we can start running. Gern's fucked up, a real hardass since Archangel cleared us out...”

“He sounds terrible. We'll have to have a talk after you two promise to leave Alice alone.” He aimed again. “Well?”

The quick promises came in a waterfall. It was like music to his ears as he stood there, waiting. Inwardly, Alistair sighed in relief as he clicked the safety back on. 72 was still glowing, reminding him what he had left.

Shit, that was close.

“Thank you gentlemen, pleasure doing business with you.” They both fell to the floor with a heavy thud as he returned the gun to his borrowed purse. “Well, get going then. I think there's a secondhand shop you can dump your armor in, should be enough to book passage off Omega if you're quick about it and ask the right price.”

In a flash, the goons were gone and off to start a new life. Alistair shook his head as he started tapping into his omni-tool. Now he had a name to go on. Lucky for him, Omega had really shitty data security and within minutes he had some details.

Now... time to go hunting. Hopefully Gern didn't run too fast. It was murder walking in these shoes, even if they were cute.

Coronation Part 1: New Year, New Mischief

Summary:

It's New Year's Day at the Tower and Fireteam Paralight, along with Cayde, are laughing over the events of the previous night. But when an excited Marcia drags them down to the Annex with seemingly no explanation, they can only wonder what in the name of the Traveller is going on?

Next Part: Here

It’s been a little over two months since Fireteam Paralight took on the horrors of the Moon with Eris Morn and Marcia Wyverk, and things have seemed to have gotten crazier since. From killing the Undying Mind in multiple timelines to saving the legend known as Saint-14 (and a fan-boy moment from Adam), Paralight have had their hands full. And as the three of them know all too well, they’ll only get crazier from here. But nothing could prepare them for what was to happen… It was New Year’s day on Earth. Even on a cold morning like this one, the courtyard was still fairly busy with Guardians either returning from twilight patrols or heading out for morning ones, while some were just stumbling out to get fresh air while recovering from hangovers caused by the night before. Rae leaned against the Tower railing as she looked out over the City. Rae was never one for alcohol, so she was fully sober the whole night and had the pleasure of remembering all of the…interesting events that played out. Her thoughts were interrupted by a yawn as a sleepy Cayde strolled up beside her, leaning back against the railing. “Good morning.”  Rae smiled. “Mornin’” Cayde mumbled as he stretched his arms. “Told ya not to stay up so late.” Rae chuckled as she shook her head. “And miss the entertainment? No way!” Cayde chuckled as he recalled the events of last night’s New Years party. “Did I miss anything?” Rae asked as she stood up straight. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. From what I heard, Blaze had Firefly record the whole thing and put together a compilation vid.” Cayde reassured, “Though I kinda feel bad for the massive headache that-” Cayde cut himself off as he spotted a very proud-looking Blaze and a tired-looking Adam approach them. “Ah! And here comes the star of last night!” Cayde laughed. “Ugh…what happened last night?” Adam groaned; hand pressed against his forehead. “You haven’t told him yet?” Rae enquired, turning to Blaze. “Figured I’d wait until I was with you guys to show off the finished product.” Blaze grinned as Firefly popped up beside her. “I got all the best bits and put them into a little video for all to enjoy!” Firefly chirped. “Wait…best bits? Best bits of what?” Adam asked, giving everyone confused glances as Stormbringer hovered beside him. “I’m sorry, Adam.” Stormbringer apologised, “I tried to stop them, but they wouldn’t listen.” “Back up.” Adam held up his hands, “What the hell happened last night?” “Well…” Rae began, “After midnight, Saint wanted to challenge people to a drinking contest. And you decided it’d be a great idea to take him up on the offer. He was fine, but…we found out you’re a serious lightweight.” “Oh no…” Adam’s face went noticeably pale, “Please tell me I didn’t do anything dumb.” “If ya didn’t, I wouldn’t have this compilation!” Firefly replied as she began to show the video. It featured Adam giggling at nearly every little thing, marching around while singing in Swedish, going around and telling all the Titan’s that they’re his best friend, including Zavala, Sloane, Shaxx and Saint, and even a clip of him going around with Storm displaying a picture of Petra while Adam told the others to ‘look at his lovely girlfriend’ and how ‘he’s the luckiest Guardian this side of the solar system’. Blaze, Cayde and Rae just chuckled as they watched Adam’s face get redder and redder before the compilation finally ended. “I gotta say, Adam.” Rae began, “You’re quite the extrovert when you’re drunk.” “Please tell me you haven’t shown that video to anyone.” Adam begged. “Nah, I didn’t show anyone.” Blaze grinned as Firefly disappeared. “Thank the Traveller…” Adam breathed a sigh of relief. “But I did send a copy to Petra.” Blaze snickered before running off. “BLAZE, I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!” Adam yelled as he took off after the laughing Hunter. “I don’t know who to feel bad for – Adam or Blaze.” Cayde chuckled “She asked for it, in fairness.” Rae shook her head, “Anyway, we should get to our posts before Zavala has our heads.” “Guardians. It does not matter that your head is practically exploding. Get out there and fight the Darkness. War. Poetry. Knitting.” Rae laughed at Cayde’s Zavala impression before suddenly stopping and covering her mouth. “What?” Cayde asked, confused. “As ‘amusing’ as your impressions are, Cayde, it’s time you got back to your post.” Cayde froze up upon hearing the familiar voice of the Titan Vanguard behind him. “A-aha! Right! See ya, Zavala!” Cayde grabbed Rae’s arm as he took off towards the Hanger, leaving Zavala shaking his head before heading to his own post. ——————————————————————— “Happy New Year, Amanda!” Rae greeted as she and Cayde entered the Hanger, Colonel fluttering over to Cayde before nestling in his arms. “Mornin’, you two. Happy New Year!” Amanda called from under the Sparrow she was working on. “Good morning, comrades.” Rae heard Saint call as he descended the steps of his ship. “Morning, Saint. All good after last night?” “Ha! Last night’s contest was child’s play. Although, I cannot say the same for Adam. How is he?” “He has two headaches.” Cayde replied, setting Colonel down on the ground before following Rae to Saint’s ship. “Two?” Saint asked, confused. “Yeah. One’s in his head an the other he’s chasing around the Tower.” “Ah yes! The little Hunter that was filming. Blaze, yes? Which reminds me, what is the name of the Hunter with the little mark under her eye? Black hair, scars on the cheek.” “You mean Marcia?” Rae asked. “Yes, that’s it. I saw her looking about the hanger earlier.” Saint replied, “She seemed excited about something.” “Uh oh…” Rae began, “When Marcia gets excited over something, that thing’s usually not something good.” “There you are!” Rae and Cayde jumped upon hearing Marcia’s voice echo through the hanger. Marcia rushed over to them from the hanger entrance with a beaming grin on her face, “You two. With me. Annex. Now!”, grabbed their arms and began dragging them away. “Okay, this is happening then!” Cayde exclaimed. “See ya, Saint!” Rae called as they were dragged out of the hanger. “Is it always like this here?” Saint asked. “Yup. Pretty much.” Amanda replied. ——————————————————————— “Hurry it up!” Marcia dragged Cayde and Rae down into the Annex. “Can you at least tell us what you’re up to?” Rae asked. “Nope. Not now. Not here. Too many ears. It’s bad enough I need Vanguard help for this, but I need as much help as possible.” Marcia replied, before shooting a glare at Cayde, “Plus, a certain someone still owes me for their stunt a few months back.” Marcia dragged them into Drifter’s room in the Annex where he was there with Adam and Blaze – the latter having a noticeable bruise on her forehead. “He caught ya?” Rae asked. “He caught me.” Blaze replied, “Worth it, though.” Rae rolled her eyes playfully as Marcia finally let go of her and Cayde. “So mind telling us what you’re up to now?” Adam asked. “She didn’t tell you guys either?” Cayde asked as he watched Marcia rush about the back of the room. “Nope.” Blaze shrugged, “We asked Drifter, but he hasn’t a clue either.” “All I know is that she’s been running ‘bout the solar system ‘investigating’, as she puts it, since you got back from the Moon.” Drifter replied, tossing a coin into the air, “When she got back last night, she began rushin’ about the Tower saying stuff like ‘I got it!’ and ‘How’d I not think of this?’” A small crash was heard from the corner of the room followed by a small “Ow!” from Marcia. “Hey, be careful back there, yeah? I like my mess where it is.” Drifter called behind him. “Sorry!” Marcia called back as she emerged from the corner with a rolled-up map, “Okay, so ya’ll know how I’ve been getting those power surges, yeah?” she began, “Well, I didn't get the answers I was looking for on the Moon. But I think I know where to take the next step...and I'm gonna need some good ol' Paralight backup!" Marcia unravelled the map, “This look familiar?” “Is that…the Dreadnaught?” Rae asked. “Is that one of my maps?” Cayde added. “It’s a COPY of one of your maps…that I stole…and then put back…so it’s technically borrowed. But that ain’t the point!” Marcia replied, “After we got back from the Moon, I came to the conclusion that while it wasn’t the Pyramid that was causing the surges, it was definitely the Darkness or something similar. So I travelled to different patrol zones to see if I could see if anywhere provoked a similar reaction. I got nothing, until I arrived on Titan. My surges began to act up again and that got me thinking ‘Okay, so it’s not the Hive…so does it have something to do with the orbit around Saturn?’. Then I looked up and noticed that I could see Saturn from there…and a certain ship still hanging out in its rings. That’s when I had a serious ‘Duh!’ moment. It’s the Dreadnaught! The ship of the Taken King himself! In fairness, I should’ve figured it out from the start.” “So what do you need us for?” Adam asked. “I wanna get up there and find answers.” Marcia began, “But I can’t go up there alone. It’s Taken central, for Light’s sake, and it’s still teeming with Hive and some Cabal stragglers. There’s no way I can take ‘em all on my own, even if I didn’t have unstable power surges to worry about. So I need some capable hands to watch my six. Drifter’s already offered to tag along, but I knew I’d need more on board. So I figured ‘Hey! I’m on good terms with Paralight! And Cayde owes me. So why not?’. So what do ya say?” “Yeah, no.” Rae replied as she turned to walk away. “That’s the spiri- wait, what!?” Marcia exclaimed as she darted in front of Rae, “Why not?!” “The Vanguard have prohibited patrols on the Dreadnaught since the Red War. And I’m not getting my Fireteam in trouble nor am I putting them in danger because you want to go on a suicide mission.” Rae replied sternly, “Besides, what are we getting out of it? I’m not putting my friends at risk if there’s no outcome for us.” Marcia sighed before her expression turned serious, “Okay. I’m going to tell you something, but it’s to remain in this room at all costs until this mission is over, yeah?” “I’m listening.” Rae raised an eyebrow. “I…have a hunch of what I might find up there. It’ll be one of two things. I don’t wanna say what outcome A is in case it turns out to be outcome B, which is I become fully Taken or lose all control of my powers or something. If outcome A happens, though, it could be a major turning point in this war. If outcome B happens…I need people I know can put me down if I lose myself…people I can trust. Which is why I need you to help me with this. Please.” Rae stared at Marcia for a moment. Marcia had a stern and serious expression on her face, but Rae could see in her eyes that it was masking the fear and desperation she felt inside. Rae turned to Cayde and the rest of her Fireteam. “We’re in if you are, Sunrae.” Cayde spoke. Rae sighed in defeat as she turned back to Marcia, “Alright. We’re in.” Marcia’s face lit up as she grinned, “Hell to the yeah! Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about! Get prepped up and meet me back here at 8am sharp tomorrow. We got a ship to storm!” Marcia darted out of the room while whooping in excitement. Rae sighed, "What did we get ourselves into...?" To Be Continued…

GIF TUTORIAL

i’m finally getting around to giving the people what they want!! i hit 2.5k like 3 weeks ago and asked you guys what you would like me to do in honour of that...the resounding answer was ‘gif tutorial’ !!!! 

so!! in true dnp fashion i’m merely here to give the people what they want and the people have demanded a gif tutorial, so here it is!

we’ll be learning to how to create this gif right here!

please keep in mind that this is how i make gifs!! everyone does things slightly differently and what i say and do may not match up with other people or your own personal style and that’s okay! editing is all about creative freedoms and you may use this as a basic starter so that you can branch into your own thing or you might really like how i do things and use the same methods. point is, it’s perfectly okay either way!!

right so!! let’s get the basic bullshit out of the way! i use ps cs6 but it’s basically all the same, so this should work perfectly fine no matter what ps you use. 

1. we’re firstly going to choose our video to gif. for this tutorial, i’ve chosen pinof 10! pick a moment you like and get the timestamps from when the moment starts and finishes. i usually get a second before and a second after to make sure i’ve got it all!!

2. we’re now going to copy the url of the video and go to clip converter. clip  converter basically is going to give us an mp4 version of our little timestamps so that we can put them into photoshop and make gifs from them! paste the url of the vid into clip converter and press enter once. once you’ve done that follow my settings and press start

(of course you can name it whatever you want and put whatever timestamps you want in!!)

once it’s done converting, it’ll give you a download of your mp4 clip, which you’ll click! 

3. now open your photoshop. go to file, import, video frames to layers, like shown and select your video

once you’ve done that, put these settings in and trim the clip to your liking (the little black place holder things trim the clip!) 

4. okay so!! we now have our gif imported and open on photoshop! we have to make it much smaller because right now it’s like...huge (that’s what she said hehehe)

simply click on image at the top of your computer and press ‘image size’, like shown

then make your settings like shown

5. so that’s done!! now, we have to change the pace of our gif to be a bit slower. i make my gifs real slow apparently but,,,,,personal preference man. click on the first frame of your gif and then scroll to the end of the frames of your gif. hold the shift button and click the last frame. this will select all your frames. press the little arrow thingy near the time of the frames. this will allow you to change the pace of your gif. press other and change the timing of the gif to whatever you want! i make my gifs like 0.07 normally but for this gif, i made it 0.09 because they’re moving so fast and it was giving me whiplash. anything under 0.1 is great!!

6. cropping time! you don’t have to crop your gif if you’d like, but mine is a little big for me, so i’m going to and show you how to do that! so basically press the cropping tool and put in the measurements you’d like, as i’ve done.

7. now we’re ready to convert our gif to the timeline method! select all your frames again, like before, as well as your layers. selecting your layers is the same as selecting your frames, so nothing new there, don’t worry! once everything is selected, press this lil guy.

once our gif is in the timeline method, right click your layers that should all be selected and turn them into a smart object, as shown!

8. righty-o! we’ve done all the boring, dumb shit! time to use an action to make our gif look a little nicer and sharper! i really can’t be assed showing you how to use an action in here because i suck and this is long as fuck as it is but!! i am nice enough to link you to a basic tutorial on how to use actions and how to download them! you can find that here! right so, i use a certain action on all my gifs and then edit it slightly, which i’ll show you! you can find a download for the action i use here !!! 

i play that action and now my gif looks much nicer! however, it’s not quite the way i like it, so i push the gaussian blur layer to the bottom and i adjust the strength of it to this!

9. i lied. now we’re up to the fun part!! colouring!! colouring is my best friend and i love her dearly!! technically you could stop now and save your gif and be done but....that’s boring as fuck!

right so, colouring really, truly is your own preference, loves. you can do whatever you like, you do NOT have to follow what i put here. this is simply the colouring i chose for this gif. i do literally whatever i feel like every time i make a gif, so it’s forever changing!

i gave a bit of thought to what kind of colouring i’d do in this tutorial. did i want to do something extra basic and like...no colour changing? did i want to do something wildly vibrant? and then i decided not to do either of those things! so today, i’m going to teach you how to create a soft, almost pastel blue/purple colouring for the ap room *cough* set *cough*!! 

firstly, here is the adjustment panel where all the tools you need for colouring reside !!

we’re firstly going to start with the boring crap,,,,,so i lied again....oops. firstly, we’re going to adjust the brightness, the levels and the curves. here are my setting for each, if you’d like to copy them!

here’s how the gif looks without all our colour layers!

10. and now all that crap is done, i promise it’s actually the fun stuff!! selective colour is where all the magic happens! i sometimes do two, three or even four selective colour layers, depending on just how heavy the colour changing is going to be in my gifs, as well as using hue/saturation, colour balance and gradient maps!!

firstly, we’ll start off with our first selective colour layer! here are my settings for it (sorry for all the pics rip)

once you’ve got all those sorted, onto a hue/saturation layer! this basically drastically changes the colours, if you’d like it to but it’s not quite as accurate or smooth as a selective colour layer, so i only really use it for small things or if the colour i’d like can be acchieved nicely with it. i didn’t change anything in the master setting, but here are my settings for the things i did change!

aaaaaaaand now we do another selective colour layer! i’ll just show you the layers i did change...everything else, leave as is!!

11. next is a few gradient maps and a layer of vibrance!! i promise, we’re almost done!! i add a bunch of probably unnecessary bullshit to my gifs but i like how it looks with all the extra stuff so!!! yeah!! make your first gradient map black and white, as shown and set the opacity to 10%

next step is to create a vibrance layer! when making a bright, colourful gif, i use about two or three vibrancy layers. i never EVER adjust the saturation, only the vibrancy. adjusting the saturation makes everything too heavy and it just looks kinda icky to me. the first layer, i normaly adjust the vibrancy to 100% and the rest being between like 20-50%, depending. i just thought i’d tell you guys because that’s vital if you’re making bright gifs! 

we however are not, so i only adjusted the vibrancy to +14%, leaving the saturation alone....nasty saturation !!!

aaaaaaaaaaaaand finally, we are up to our last adjustment layer!! it is yet another gradient map oops. this gradient map is a light golden colour and i downloaded it in a pack somewhere ages ago. i do not remember where and i know that photoshop’s default gradient maps don’t have something like it so if you’d like, you can definitely just skip this last layer!! it’s not vital, i just think it gives the gif a nice touch! 

for reference, the gradient map looks like this and i set it to 6% opacity!

12. that’s it!! the gif is complete! go to file, save for web and press on that! you might have to wait a little bit for it to load...photoshop is a really shit program sometimes, guys. once it loads you’ll see all these confusing settings. simply copy what i have here!

this is also the moment i realise my gif is over 3mb and go to fucking smack my head against a desk. tumblr basically has a thing against gif makers and will NOT allow gifs over 3mb to play once posted. this can be fixed though! i’ll show you how to shorten a gif right now because well...if you followed this tutorial, you’re stuck in the same boat as me and need to know how to fix it!!

so basically save your gif as is right now! now, we’re going to open the gif we just saved into photoshop. go to file, open and select your gif. it’ll open as a frame animation which is perfect! now, delete whatever frames from the start and end that you think you can live without. never delete frames from the middle because that’ll just disrupt the gif altogether. the less frames, the better!!

i got my gif down to 40 frames by deleting the first 15 frames of the gif and the last like 6 or so. now go back to ‘save for web’ and save this shorter gif as a whole new gif! this should be under 3mb. if it is not, go cancel the save and delete some more frames!

once that’s done....you’re done!!! congratulations!! you’ve made your very first gif, my dear!!!! here’s the finished labour of your hard work!! 

i hope i wasn’t too confusing and i hope you now have a sound understanding of how to make a gif! if you’d like me to make another tutorial on something specific related to gifmaking or even to do with edits and edit-making, just send me an ask and i’ll see what i can do for you! happy giffing, loves!!

Art Spotlight: Someone Like You by pearsonasnic​!

I love the story your video tells all on its own but also I'm excited for the fic too. but ahh!! you used the best clips at all the right moments and all the dialogue you included was so on point, i pretty much died every time anyone said anything at all. I love the text you used and the way you did the sound with the dialogue and the music was so perfect, and it sounded so clear and just dndnceks your technical skills are honestly THE MOST incredible. and those transitions!! ... Really, really well done, I'm kind of in awe of how you put this together, and I loved the song you chose, it fit so well. Lovely lovely lovely! ... Hey! I can't say how happy I am for this video. love your videos, all of them, they are my favourite. I know how much work there is behind a video, so I can easily imagine how hard you have work for this. But let me say that all of that work has been good rewarded by this result. I haven't read the associate story yet, but I'll do it as soon as possible. In the meantime let me congrat you and thank you. Amazing job as always! ... This video is amazing! I held off watching until I'd read the story since I never watched s7 of the show and wasn't sure how much of that factored in to the story. The story your video tells is riveting and tells a better love story than the show had the guts to ever attempt. You've put the clips together in a coherent way and the contrast between s7 Emma (and when sh'es with Hook) is stark! She looks like hell in those clips and much happier and healthier and just better in every way in all the others; says alot and your video only highlights the difference between those Emmas ... Very well put together. I'm amazed really. I love the sequence and the song is perfect. I love the I feel like a fraud and then she gives the ring back like that should have been cannon. Look at these two in love. This vid is everything ... Well my heart just burst into 10,000 pieces. That was exceptional!!! So beautiful. So smooth. Congratulations, your hard work paid off, this is some serious SwanQueen magic ... AHHH. i love this video!!! i’m always a sucker for fan videos (they make the heart really hurt) and this one was amazing!!! i love the song choice, and i love how i can clearly see the scenes in the gif through this video! i give you a lot of credit because i know i couldn’t even attempt to make a video like this! great job! <3 ... Ouch! Up until the end this video hurt! It was done very well, I noticed you tried to match to the song as well. This fic is gonna be angsty isn't it? Guh I can't wait. Good job on the video! I like the way you progressed the relationship as well as the "what's going on with Emma?" Line. ... This was wonderful. Beautifully edited, and great song choice! ... This is one of the best SQ videos of all time! You tell such a beautiful story using the most moving clips and a perfect song (which isn't too loud). Emma and Regina truly do belong together. .... OMG. THIS. IS. SO. AMAZING! Really brilliant editing! So stellar, so impressive. Simply stunning! The transitions are so beautiful, perfect shots! Massive kudos!!

Enjoyed this art? Be sure to give back and feed the artist! A happy, appreciated artist is one who’s going to be more motivated to gift us all with more of their beautiful work.

Fic: “Processing” [Claire/Isaac, post-Identity Pt 1 & 2]

Things are quiet for a while. They all need some time. Claire would give anything to make Ty’s nightmares stop, but she knows he’s healing. The counselor he’s been speaking to over the vid line is encouraging.

Claire’s own counselor, Marta, is a small woman with short cropped grey hair and warm brown eyes that crinkle up in beautiful laugh lines when she smiles. Claire went through two others before she found someone she could really talk to about the whole alien robot Romeo and Juliet angle of things.

The first two had jumped right in, assuming she would be traumatized by the devious Kaylon’s romantic manipulations. Claire felt humiliated and angry at the way they saw things: like she was some kind of dupe and Isaac a robo-Mata Hari, softening her up for information with his seductive wiles.

How could she admit to someone like that the reality of who had actually seduced whom? Or how she still felt for him?

Well, screw them and their prejudices. Whatever else he’d done, Isaac had given up everything to do the right thing in the end. She had no reason to be ashamed of loving someone like that.

Marta let her talk about it like it was any relationship that had hit a rough spot. That helped.

Meanwhile, Isaac himself had all but disappeared. He did his assigned tasks and then was gone before you could even start to talk. That was fine when no one wanted to talk to him, but as the weeks passed it started feeling--to Claire, at least--like he was a sorrowful ghost haunting their halls. Fading away before she could reach out.

Then he showed up one day, right in front of her desk, and said: “I have not been able to report my observations for five weeks and three days.”

Claire blinked at him.

“I hope my presence does not upset you, doctor,” he said. “I will leave if you wish.”

She’d missed his voice. Sighing, Claire shook her head. “No, that’s okay. But I need you to explain what you’re talking about. Is something wrong with your systems?”

She really needed to pick his brain about how he worked at some point, so she could be a doctor to him if he needed it, even if she couldn’t be anything else. She could still remember how much it hurt seeing him shut down, all the life and curiosity she loved turned off like a light. Unable to do anything for him. The one person on the Orville she couldn’t heal.

“Thank you, doctor,” he said. There was a long, warm moment when he just looked at her, seeming to soak her presence in. Then he spoke: “I am designed to take in observations, categorize and analyze them, and then send data packets back to my home world. This is the structure of my systems. It aids my own integration of data. I cannot continue sending these packets to your enemies, however. Is there anyone in the Union who would find my observations useful?”

As he spoke, the graceful little movements he usually made with his arms and head as he spoke stilled and his speech grew clipped, more rapid than usual.

Claire wondered if this was him getting upset.

“You have no one to send your data,” Claire said, testing the idea out. Poking around at it.

“Yes,” he said. “Optimally, my observations would be of use to their recipients. However, I believe even a storage archive would suffice.”

Were the Kaylon all part of each other in this way? Perhaps constant communication, giving and receiving data, was an essential part of what made Isaac’s experience of consciousness. Losing that could be like a human experiencing a brain injury: cut off from the healthy flow of neurons and synapses.

Claire heart ached for him. If that was true, perhaps he had wanted to die with the others, rather than be cut off from part of himself. It might have been a cruelty to bring him back.

Beneath the technical specifics, she could hear what he was saying in that way she always had of understanding him. He was saying I don’t have anyone to talk to.

What were her own long conversations with Marta but sharing “observations” to aid “data integration,” just for a human mind?

Claire stood: “If I’m understanding you correctly, this is a serious medical need. I’ll speak to the captain about getting you access to an archive to store and communicate with.” She walked around the desk, approaching him. “We’re going to take care of you, I promise.”

The rigidity of his posture eased, the little motions of his arms and curious cant of his head returning. “Thank you, doctor,” he said, in apparent relief. After a moment, he continued: “Is this part of the human practice of forgiveness we discussed? I have downloaded all available data on this custom but I have been unable to estimate our trajectory within it or the most likely outcomes.” He tilted his head, looking at her. “Are you aware that none of the available literature specifies a timeline for this custom?”

Oh, boy. How to explain?

“It’s not something you can really predict like that, Isaac.” Claire bit her lip and then tried out the comparison she’d just come up with: “We process our data too, you know? But there’s no standard time frame. Organic brains don’t work like that.”

“That seems remarkably inefficient,” he said in that blunt but not unkindly meant way of his.

Claire shrugged. “Take it up with Mother Nature.”

Isaac’s fingers twitched as he considered that. “You speak of the personification of natural selection on your planet.”

“Yep.”

“Unfortunately, I do not believe she is available to talk.”

Back when they were dating, a topic like this could become several long, pleasurable hours of conversation. Often ending up in bed and a different kind of intercourse. He was so curious and thoughtful. So engaged with everything. She found him wonderful to talk to. It was tempting, to sink back into the warmth of that. There was no one else whose companionship made her feel so happy.

But her organic data processing just wasn’t there yet.

“It’s my duty to take care of everyone on this vessel and we will make sure you have what you need, no matter what. I promise you that. But forgiveness is...” she reached out her hand, touched his forearm and then withdrew it, “it’s in progress. But I need time, all right?” She raised her hand, “And before you ask, no, I can’t tell you how much time exactly. I’ve just got to feel it out. I know it’s hard to wait.”

“Baring unforeseen damage to my systems, I will be functional for the rest of your natural lifespan. I have, as your people say, all the time in the world.” He extended his own hand shyly, brushing her arm with his fingertips and then withdrawing it just as quickly. “I am honored that you have chosen to engage in this custom with me, Claire.”

More than anything, Claire wanted to take him in her arms. Hug the life out of him. But her processing wasn’t quite ready for that, either. Instead she said: “There is no one I would rather engage in it with. Now, let’s go see about getting you a nice Union database to talk to, all right?

Vidding Linkspam July 19, 2019

Conventions/Challenges

 Connexions

Multi-Fandom Convention in Maryland is seeking vids for their vid show. Submit your vids by August 1

https://sites.google.com/view/connexions-south/programming/vid-show?authuser=0  

  Fall Equinox 2019 will be a costume party!

Theme will be:  Fictional sources in any format that are set in earlier eras than they were produced/released in -- e.g., costume / period / historical dramas and comedies.   Deadline for Signups:  July 21 - 28  https://equinox-exchange.dreamwidth.org/27045.html  

Convention Vid Show Question

I'm now getting a little worried... would submitting 3 premieres to fanworks con be considered a dick move? I don't wanna take time away from anyone, but I also really wanna show these vids to people.    https://findmeinthealps.dreamwidth.org/7949.html   

 VidUkon Eurovison 2019 Vid Show ....this year's Eurovision show listing showcasing European vidders & source and celebrating the diversity of the European vidding community across all platforms.  

https://amnisias.dreamwidth.org/59043.html

VidUKon 2019 Feedback Notes

It's been a little over a week since VidUKon, so it seems like a good time to post up some of the feedback notes from the final panel of the year and the end-of-con feedback session. First up: panel notes!   https://vidukon-cardiff.dreamwidth.org/39561.html

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________ MetaVidshow Discussion Post: Be Gay, Do CrimesVidUKon is a vidding convention held in the UK. This year they're trying something new - inviting people to watch one of the vid shows online and then comment.   The vidshow is "Be Gay, Do Crimes "   https://vidukon-cardiff.dreamwidth.org/39913.html

 Vidding Chatter July (vid_bingo)

What is your least favorite thing about vidding as a hobby?  What is your favorite thing?    https://vid-bingo.dreamwidth.org/4373.html

Vidding Chatter  June (vid_bingo)

Have you ever been to a vid or fan-focused convention? Which one? What was your experience like, etc?    https://vid-bingo.dreamwidth.org/3623.html  

 Vidding Chatter  May (vid_bingo)  

Are you a vidding plotter or a pantser?  If you use storyboards, how do you approach them? Are they vague or detailed, handwritten or a google doc?    https://vid-bingo.dreamwidth.org/3441.html  

  Fanvids- Vids that you think of every time you hear the song

https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/378261.html?thread=2216111765#cmt2216111765  

 Vid Me Closes (on building our own vidding platform)

This article is about why the site VidMe closed, but provides fascinating insights into the state of things; particularly hilarious TO ME are the "Insights for Newcomers," i.e. what they learned for people who want to try to do this: If you’re considering building your own video platform, here are a few suggestions....  https://cesperanza.dreamwidth.org/594255.html  

 YouTube Vidding Contest Strategy

Vidding strategy is not a thing I usually think about in those terms, but here we are. I entered a youtube vidding contest and the first round was scored and "The Engineer" finished tied for 13th out of 19 entries.   https://seekingferret.dreamwidth.org/307266.html  

 Vids With Dialogue

I hate, hate, hate all these vids with the dialogue left in.   

https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/374581.html?thread=2192738613#cmt2192738613  

  VidUKon Vidshow Discussion Post: 2009 Retrospective

This is a new thing we’re trying - we love talking about the vidshows at the con itself, but we think there’s scope for further discussion here on Dreamwidth, where folks who weren’t able to attend the con can get involved too. Anyone who’s interested is welcome to watch the show and join in! We’ll be running these posts roughly once a month, initially featuring shows from VidUKon 2019.  https://vidukon-cardiff.dreamwidth.org/39170.html

 FanVid Recs Thread: Special Request

Nonnies, please give me funny crack vid recs? Any fandom, any ship. I need something to laugh about today.  

https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/374457.html?thread=2190469817#cmt2190469817  

 Good Omens FanVid Takedowns

I've never understood how fanvids persist against takedowns at all, especially the popular ones.  

https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/374457.html?thread=2189939641#cmt2189939641  

 FFA FanVid Recs Thread

music vids, AMVs, edits, supercuts, mashups, etc. Ask for recs or just drop a link to something you like!  

https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/374060.html?thread=2189690924#cmt2189690924    

 Newbie: I'm a newcomer to vidding and wondered if I could have advice to learn the ropes.

If someone could help me learn the ropes that'd be lovely.   https://vidding.dreamwidth.org/395455.html  

 The evolution of #vidding trends be like

2012 - heavy colorings, catchy songs, crossfades, overlayers, texts 

2019 - almost to no coloring, clean cuts, minimal editing, trailer-ish instrumentals 

2020 - no coloring, no editing, no music, just play the damn episode would ya?  

https://twitter.com/anJaaXx/status/1139404158820220928  

 Do you ever have an amazing idea for a vid but lack the confidence to actually make it

cuz you’ve never done something like it before and don’t want to screw it up? Now try having that for like 4 different ideas...so frustrating #Vidding #VidderProblems    https://twitter.com/hollywoodgirl05/status/1137771341635964928    

You know the feeling when start project so inspired and then get to some part of song and you just can't move past it? For weeks... And then start to hate whole song and part of project you already finished. Yeah. #Vidding #Viddingproblems   https://twitter.com/TheMica993/status/1134759868605390848  

 Reading it made me think of lumi_nation and other fellow vidders who see & hear music as movement & color, hear color as music, and so on. There are many of us. We don’t often talk about it outside of con suites and panels, but we exist in our special little universes. #vidding   https://twitter.com/Bonibaru/status/1132780458494910464

 Vidding and/as Pedagogy Vids explore themes related to the source material(s) they remix and rework. In a vid, the juxtaposition of moving images and music, as well as careful sequencing, cutting, and pattern construction, work together to communicate the vidder’s messages.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/324065471_Vidding_andas_Pedagogy   

Vid Society: discord server dedicated to editing/vidding We are a friendly content creator-based community, mainly for video editors (but also for various other artists), with a passion for anything fandom and art related. Join our humble family and feel free to stay as long as you like!  

https://meeedeee.tumblr.com/post/186406012376/discord-server-dediacted-to-editingvidding  

Vidding Styles There is a difference between completely ripping off a style to the point it's just the same video with a different song and taking inspiration, then adding your own spin. While nobody has 'ownership' over a style.... I'm tired of seeing basically the same videos everywhere.  

https://twitter.com/xOurConnections/status/1150547423841771520  

 Current vidding status: 

Vid for which I have clipped that seemed fun: now seems silly and tropey. 

Vid I have most excellent song for is for a show I thought was ok, but for which I'd need to learn new vidding software. 

Vid I've pottered with for years now has corrupted files.  

https://twitter.com/BrokenMnemonic/status/1149750471156015106  

 Your favourite well-made music vid.... I am an old and don't listen to music radio, so in the last twenty years, my main way to discover music less than thirty or forty years old has been through very well-made fan videos. So please rec me yours with the appropriate link 

https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/373194.html?thread=2181417674#cmt2181417674  

  #viddingpetpeeves 

When someone vids ship and uses voiceovers or scenes related to the competing ship on that show. I just always think to myself Bro, that's off-limits" Is this super petty of me. Don't hate me. What are some of your pet peeves, #vidding community  

https://twitter.com/IATFirstGlanceI/status/1146041935074922496  

 VidRecs.com

#vidding friends, for the last couple of weeks I have been exploring (link: http://vidrecs.com) vidrecs.com! (Some of you may remember I mentioned it briefly at #vidukon.) It's very new but it looks as though it could be a really cool resource!  

https://twitter.com/llintrek/status/1144966906690134016    

I just posted my first #fanvid to #Instagram. 

It is an old VCR-era #Titanic vid #Titanicedit #fanedit #vidding (link: https://ift.tt/32FnCPR) instagram.com/p/BzKUNThjCZr/ https://twitter.com/morgandawn6/status/1143897561394110464 

  nothing has demotivated me from vidding more ...

...than youtube and twitter. lost channels on youtube 5 times and twice on here. i know i can unlist, but i don't like doing so. now i'm just waiting for july 27th so my strikes can clear off.

https://twitter.com/RuksarCreation/status/1148686654904983557  

 call me old fashioned but I am really not a fan of the youtube vidding trend..... of putting dialogue over the whole fucking thing. I can deal with a bit here and there but for a 3+ minute song?? I imagine you picked the song for a reason, let me hear the lyrics!!  

https://twitter.com/leanwellback/status/1140679467406376961   

 ...fanvideo styles getting more & more reduced, 

is it even fanvideo editing in some cases anymore....  i guess vidding is living on borrowed time anyway.    https://twitter.com/disasxter/status/1139406005723230208

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

 Technical 

VIDDING TECH: WHERE SHOULD I GO FOR HELP?

After a decade as a Mac vidder, I am about to buy my first Windows machine and start vidding on a PC.   https://laurashapiro.dreamwidth.org/382846.html Sharing Your Fanvids To Instagram

 Instagram limits the number of external links you can use in a post. Up until last year, they didn't  support longer vids or links to external websites, preferring to keep the material "in house." If you have a streaming vid on Youtube, Vimeo or your own website, you can still promote it on Instagram    https://morgandawn.dreamwidth.org/1667645.html

Mac Vid Encoding Vids on Mojave

LlamaEnc is not currently compatible with macOS Mojave.  

https://fanworks.dreamwidth.org/10195.html

 Request: Vid Tagging Assistance, Vid Streaming Alternatives  

Requesting assistance in tagging vids using Excel (2013/2016/2019). If you have Office 365 this would be ideal as we can collaborate in real time similar to what you see in those ads for Google docs co-authoring where you see the names of people typing as flags. Additionally, if you have ever wanted to get up to speed with Excel for work or to get work this could be one way of doing so while also watching and tagging vids. I teach Excel as well  

https://vidding.dreamwidth.org/394837.html

 Video Analysis Software

Any idea if any vidders have played with this (or related tools) yet? #fandom #vidding ML-powered automatic video editing app released recently   

https://twitter.com/arnicas/status/1143800870896832512 

  Quick question #vidding community

Is there any other way besides rewatching the source materiel a hundred times to connecting clips to the lyrics? Is there some sort of trick I'm missing?

https://twitter.com/IATFirstGlanceI/status/1139669286581092357  

  Vidding friends, I'm about to make the switch from Mac to PC vidding.My better half is building me a machine. What should I know? How much RAM/what kind of hard drive? Is there a solution for converting iTunes source? (feel free to DM me) Thank you!  

https://twitter.com/killabeezish/status/1145014452552515584   

  comments x-posted to morgandawn | comment there Anonymous commenting enabled or use OpenID to log in to comment.

Jan 13 Date Night - 90s Batman cartoon

Tarantulas, Soundwave, and Prowl hang out in the Tor and watch cartoons.

Prowl spends basically the whole night buried in as much tarantula fuzz as he can get.

Today araneamechanica 7:53 pm *the room tarantulas bridges soundwave into is decently small, broodily dim, and literally half-covered in web. like, walls and ceiling yes, but also think of a giant daybed made of web. tarantulas knows better than to use hammock-style stuff anymore, he wouldn't want prowl falling out, so this is more stable* *there are Questionable Snacks if anyone wants them, and a crate that was hastily dragged in as a table* NoodlesAtNight 7:54 pm *Soundwave has barely managed to thank Tarantulas with a ping before he's poking and prodding at the web couch-bed-thing. Oooh.* araneamechanica 7:54 pm *and there's tarantulas, nervously wringing his hands, watching soundwave inspect. how do host* verdigrisprowl 7:55 pm *Prowl's arriving with less Questionable Snacks. He's got a box of donuts from the same place as last time.* Hi. NoodlesAtNight 7:56 pm *He has found It. A Very Comfortable Spot. This is his now. Finders-keepers. He's claiming it and THEN getting snacks with his feelers. ... Including maybe plucking a donut from the box. Hmmm. Good.* araneamechanica 7:56 pm Hello, dear. Drin - *was about to ask drinks, but perks!!* You brought DONUTS! araneamechanica 7:57 pm *it almost distracts him enough that he doesn't jump prowl for a greeting hug, but nah, definitely greeting hug* verdigrisprowl 7:57 pm I did. *holds out the box for Taran—okay, for Soundwave, apparently. but after Soundwave, Tarantul—okay, hug first.* araneamechanica 7:58 pm You really didn't have to, you know. *nuzzlenuzzle* verdigrisprowl 7:58 pm I know. *he tries to nuzzle back without disturbing the donut box.* araneamechanica 7:58 pm *ok, pulling back, gotta be nice and not monopolize prowl right* verdigrisprowl 7:58 pm *... And a greeting ping for Soundwave.* *now, NOW, holds out the box for Tarantulas.* araneamechanica 7:59 pm Would anyone like a drink first? NoodlesAtNight 7:59 pm [[...What is there?]] araneamechanica 7:59 pm *untrustworthy laughter* araneamechanica 8:00 pm What grade? What additives? I can mix anything up, really *the hostess with the mostest* NoodlesAtNight 8:00 pm [[...On second thought, he's fine.]] *That laugh.* verdigrisprowl 8:00 pm Same. *for the same reason.* araneamechanica 8:01 pm As you wish. *pulls the donuts to the crate-table, pulls prowl into the webseat* *oh, gotta - zoop, there it is. got himself a cube from the other room via grappling thread* araneamechanica 8:02 pm (( does this mean u gonna make me choose when to start the vids cos i have no idea when verdigrisprowl 8:02 pm *automatically tenses. the seat. it's so /flexible./ it's not natural. Prowl climbs into Tarantulas's lap, which at least is solid.* NoodlesAtNight 8:03 pm ((nah i'm ready to go if y'all are)) verdigrisprowl 8:03 pm ((i'm ready)) NoodlesAtNight 8:03 pm *Will finally offer Prowl a bunt hello once Prowl is settled. He's sorry, but this is a comfortable spot and he didn't want to get up and give it up.* verdigrisprowl 8:03 pm *leans over, bunts, and puts his legs in Soundwave's lap.* NoodlesAtNight 8:03 pm ((u ready andi?)) araneamechanica 8:04 pm (( yop NoodlesAtNight 8:04 pm *Oh! Legs. Yes, he's quite content with these, thank you. You can tell by the feeler nuzzling the ankle.* araneamechanica 8:05 pm *good good. off to a pleasant start - and tara has his spider limbs sprawled out in soundwave's direction, with a wiggle suggesting contact if they aren't already in touch* araneamechanica 8:06 pm *the rest of the arms are squishing prowl oh so sweetly* NoodlesAtNight 8:06 pm *The other feeler will weave right up into those and clip on oh so gently. That leaves his hands free to munch, and munch he will.* [[Intriguing choice of police alt.]] verdigrisprowl 8:07 pm *Prowl's already got his fingers laced in Tarantulas's fuzz. oh yes. ohhh yes. that's the good shit.* araneamechanica 8:07 pm Blimps can be quite practical at times. verdigrisprowl 8:08 pm I've never known a blimp. araneamechanica 8:08 pm That's because they're NOT practical for heavier metal-based lifeforms, hyeh. verdigrisprowl 8:08 pm *ohhh yeah. fuzz fuzz fuzz.* verdigrisprowl 8:09 pm *fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz.* NoodlesAtNight 8:09 pm [[He imagines they are best for wide aerial monitoring. Not fast or mobile enough to make quick turns.]] verdigrisprowl 8:09 pm Was that Gym and his partner? NoodlesAtNight 8:10 pm [[Many years from when we are watching them, he thinks. One of them has grown face fur. Humans do that when they age.]] verdigrisprowl 8:10 pm I've seen that. Most tend to cut it off. NoodlesAtNight 8:11 pm [[It makes him look like the Minimus fellow.]] @T: [[You and Prowl?]] *Offers Tarantulas a somewhat sly smile.* verdigrisprowl 8:11 pm *... sits back. looks at Tarantulas.* *he's trying to imagine him with fur on his face.* araneamechanica 8:11 pm (( sorry i had to step away for a minute what araneamechanica 8:12 pm *was about to nibble on prowl's helm when he pulled back, aww. questioning visor?* NoodlesAtNight 8:12 pm ((two scientists snuck into a hallway to make out)) araneamechanica 8:13 pm (( for REALS verdigrisprowl 8:13 pm ... Hm. *settles back in. helm available for nibbling.* araneamechanica 8:13 pm @SW: [[Hyeheh, not technically speaking. The sentiment, sure.]] verdigrisprowl 8:14 pm *fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz* araneamechanica 8:15 pm *definitely more nibbles while prowl's fuzzing. gosh, now that prowl mentioned tara's alternate taking a chomp out of him, the idea sounds tempting...* verdigrisprowl 8:17 pm Well, this scientist looks guilty as all get out. araneamechanica 8:17 pm Don't we all, hyeheh. Oh! *the donuts!! lunges forward and grabs several* araneamechanica 8:18 pm How could I have /forgotten/. *nomnomnom* NoodlesAtNight 8:18 pm [[They're quite good. From the same place as the famous oil patties, he expects?]] verdigrisprowl 8:19 pm No, another place across town. ((ugh, the stink. burning plastic.)) araneamechanica 8:20 pm (( deeeelicious verdigrisprowl 8:20 pm ((lol)) araneamechanica 8:21 pm If... if the caped crusader is Batman, then does this make him Manbat? NoodlesAtNight 8:22 pm *Huffs and almost chokes on a snack* verdigrisprowl 8:22 pm ... He seems like the kind of guy you'd like to hang out with. araneamechanica 8:22 pm Oh PLEASE don't do that to your own lab, you'll regret the damage costs, sir - *snickering* NoodlesAtNight 8:22 pm *Scratches his chin.* [[...He looks better as a bat.]] araneamechanica 8:23 pm Quite frankly, I agree with you. verdigrisprowl 8:23 pm ... Is it the fangs? araneamechanica 8:23 pm *laughter through messy-donut mandibles* verdigrisprowl 8:24 pm *Prowl's taking that as a yes.* NoodlesAtNight 8:24 pm [[Partially. More that he thinks bats are almost as fascinating as octopuses.]] araneamechanica 8:25 pm Their physique is better-suited to your frame than cephalopods are, though. verdigrisprowl 8:25 pm Ah yes. Octopuses. ... The spiders of the deep. araneamechanica 8:25 pm *surprised snort* NoodlesAtNight 8:25 pm [[Though not /everything/ sharing their shape is worth his attention.]] *Thinking of Ratbat.* [[And why would you say th--]]

*Whips his head around to stare at Prowl* verdigrisprowl 8:25 pm *poker faces at Soundwave* NoodlesAtNight 8:26 pm *Just. Abruptly crumbles into a trembling mess.* verdigrisprowl 8:26 pm *beams* araneamechanica 8:27 pm *laughing as well, but -* You DO know there are sea spiders as well, yes? verdigrisprowl 8:28 pm ... I did not. NoodlesAtNight 8:28 pm [[Why? There aren't - there are no flies in the - the water.]] araneamechanica 8:30 pm They're not actually spiders; they're a separate class entirely. Still chelicerate arthropods though. araneamechanica 8:31 pm .....Why do they have six places at the table for two? NoodlesAtNight 8:31 pm [[Rich humans and mechs wasting f-funds.]] NoodlesAtNight 8:32 pm [[...And if there are already sea spiders, then]] *Trying to compose himself again. Deep vent.* [[Then that should make spiders the octopuses of the land.]] verdigrisprowl 8:32 pm *Prowl has no idea what chelicerate arthropods means and he loves it.* Wouldn't spiders be the sea spiders of the land? NoodlesAtNight 8:32 pm [[You are right. Nothing compares to an octopus.]] verdigrisprowl 8:33 pm *tries to think of a comparison. can't.* NoodlesAtNight 8:34 pm *Pleased smile. Munch munch.* araneamechanica 8:36 pm I wish I could debate this, but it really IS hard to tell which evolved first, between spiders and octopuses at least. araneamechanica 8:37 pm Let's call it convergent evolution and call it a day, shall we. verdigrisprowl 8:37 pm Don't trains have radio? Can't they be radioed and told to stop the train? NoodlesAtNight 8:38 pm [[Very well. A fine solution.]]

[[Perhaps the conductor was removed?]] araneamechanica 8:38 pm *shrugs, snags another donut and munches on it. he's not so much chomping anymore as he is nibbling nice little pieces, since he's not, uh. as hungry as before.* araneamechanica 8:39 pm (( MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE dun dun dunnnn That - that's a TELESCOPE, they don't DO that verdigrisprowl 8:39 pm Clearly it's a cannon disguised as a telescope. araneamechanica 8:40 pm Clearly - telescopes can't move and aim that quickly, not on Earth at least. *scoffing* verdigrisprowl 8:41 pm ... Why was THAT called "Operation: Cause & Effect"? araneamechanica 8:42 pm Mmmmaybe because it went "boom"? verdigrisprowl 8:42 pm Sure, there was a cause and an effect, but that can be said of... almost anything. verdigrisprowl 8:43 pm ... And why are they keeping their gags in their mouths? Nothing's holding them in place. araneamechanica 8:44 pm Fear, maybe? verdigrisprowl 8:44 pm They're not afraid to beg for help and shout insults whenever the laughing guy takes them out for a moment. verdigrisprowl 8:45 pm *you'd think Prowl would know the Joker's name. but no.* araneamechanica 8:45 pm (( HAH verdigrisprowl 8:45 pm *HUFF. bat pun.* NoodlesAtNight 8:46 pm *Was mildly distracted by a call from home; returns his full attention to the screen.* [[Unorthodox, but effective.]] NoodlesAtNight 8:48 pm [[The Joker really must be more careful around vats of hot liquids.]] araneamechanica 8:48 pm I get the impression he thinks himself invincible? In one sense or another. verdigrisprowl 8:48 pm Apparently. verdigrisprowl 8:49 pm *... fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz* araneamechanica 8:49 pm *humming and a bit of purring, how lovely* NoodlesAtNight 8:50 pm *Oh, OH. He's just gonna. Slooowly edge forward. Careful not to pull the spider limbs painfully or dislodge Prowl, of course.* araneamechanica 8:50 pm *soundwave can probably feel the vibrations through the silk even* araneamechanica 8:51 pm Hmm? *to the edging forward* NoodlesAtNight 8:51 pm *He can, and that surprises him. He might steal some to take with him and examine later. Could be useful for... things.* [[Nothing. Something he thought he saw.]] araneamechanica 8:51 pm Ah, hm. araneamechanica 8:53 pm *cackling* NoodlesAtNight 8:53 pm *Well, THAT is the exact opposite of Prowl.* araneamechanica 8:53 pm *YUP* *he forgets things sometimes* verdigrisprowl 8:53 pm *he sits up for a moment to glance at Soundwave; but then slouches back and buries his face in Tarantulas's chest.* araneamechanica 8:54 pm *petpet, keeps watching* verdigrisprowl 8:54 pm *he doesn't get to do this nearly often enough.* NoodlesAtNight 8:55 pm *Glances back at the pair of them and hums a few bland notes in approval. Seeing Prowl enjoy himself like that pleases him - and he's sure Tarantulas doesn't mind either.* araneamechanica 8:56 pm *certainly not. he spends far too much time alone in his lab for someone who adores cuddling this much* *plus, of course. happy prowl makes happy tarantulas, when permitted* NoodlesAtNight 8:57 pm *Water? Hm. He wonders if that would've worked on the mechs affected by him and the phobia shields. ... Probably not, unless poured into the machinery.* verdigrisprowl 8:57 pm *he's currently trying to figure out how to bury himself further in Tarantulas.* araneamechanica 8:58 pm *there are plenty of arms to snuggle down into* verdigrisprowl 8:59 pm *he's slowly melting* araneamechanica 9:01 pm *even tho he laughed at the spiders crawling on the person's body, tarantulas is still avoiding petting prowl's neck out of habit now. it's the back and doors that're getting attention apparently, helping pull prowl in and/or melt him* NoodlesAtNight 9:02 pm @P: [[...If you wish for more contact with Tarantulas, you could wrap your legs around him as well.]]

*Soundwave would mourn the loss of the legs, but he likes seeing Prowl happy more.* verdigrisprowl 9:03 pm @S «It's a difficult decision.» araneamechanica 9:04 pm *if they said something, maybe tarantulas could size up - then they'd have plenty of room for communal cuddles, hmm* *maybe not as much ROOM room though* verdigrisprowl 9:04 pm *but that would mean more tarantulas he can't make contact with.* araneamechanica 9:05 pm *does he have to have All the tarantulas* NoodlesAtNight 9:05 pm @P: [[He can - move down below. Withdraw his spines and lean against your lower back.]] verdigrisprowl 9:05 pm *Yes* NoodlesAtNight 9:05 pm ((uhhhh dailymotion what r u doin)) NoodlesAtNight 9:06 pm [[You are dangling from a blimp.]] araneamechanica 9:06 pm Whatever works to keep oneself on track, I suppose. verdigrisprowl 9:06 pm *he's doing WHAT now? Prowl stopped paying attention to the show* *he looks over his shoulder* araneamechanica 9:07 pm What's their fascination with dirigibles in Gotham? NoodlesAtNight 9:08 pm [[Perhaps they haven't got reliable helicopters yet.]] araneamechanica 9:09 pm I did see at least one... verdigrisprowl 9:09 pm They had a helicopter in the first episode, didn't they? NoodlesAtNight 9:09 pm *Tapping his chin.* [[Hmm. You may be right. Then he does not know. Cheaper maintenance?]] NoodlesAtNight 9:10 pm *Yep. He stands by his earlier statement. Humans look better as part bat.* verdigrisprowl 9:11 pm Possibly. I have no idea what the maintenance of dirigibles costs. None of the police departments I got close to on Earth used them. *Prowl is at a critical juncture.* verdigrisprowl 9:12 pm *if he relaxes any further, he won't be able to maintain his grip on Tarantulas's fuzz.* araneamechanica 9:12 pm *well then tarantulas shall just have to hold him tighter himself* NoodlesAtNight 9:15 pm [[....An impostor.]] verdigrisprowl 9:15 pm *ah, good, now his hands can keep themselves up. shoulders droop.* verdigrisprowl 9:16 pm *he has achieved Full Melt* araneamechanica 9:16 pm *nyaw, it's all tarantulas ever wanted. being able to support prowl in all capacities. how pure* *gotta get a nibble in every once in a while tho just to keep prowl awake* verdigrisprowl 9:17 pm *twitches just slightly under the nibbles* NoodlesAtNight 9:19 pm *Intrigued. Now how does that work?* araneamechanica 9:20 pm *organic magic* verdigrisprowl 9:24 pm That can't be healthy. NoodlesAtNight 9:24 pm [[...It certainly doesn't /look/ it.]] araneamechanica 9:25 pm For some species out there? Yes, but not on Earth at least. NoodlesAtNight 9:26 pm *Considers the super-relaxed state Prowl is in. Well, if he's not going to move, then--*

@P: [[He has finished his snacks and his hands are free. Would you like a leg rub?]] *He may not have fuzz, but maybe he can still add to it somehow?* [[What species /is/ that healthy for?]]

NoodlesAtNight 9:10 pm *Yep. He stands by his earlier statement. Humans look better as part bat.* verdigrisprowl 9:11 pm Possibly. I have no idea what the maintenance of dirigibles costs. None of the police departments I got close to on Earth used them. *Prowl is at a critical juncture.* verdigrisprowl 9:12 pm *if he relaxes any further, he won't be able to maintain his grip on Tarantulas's fuzz.* araneamechanica 9:12 pm *well then tarantulas shall just have to hold him tighter himself* NoodlesAtNight 9:15 pm [[....An impostor.]] verdigrisprowl 9:15 pm *ah, good, now his hands can keep themselves up. shoulders droop.* verdigrisprowl 9:16 pm *he has achieved Full Melt* araneamechanica 9:16 pm *nyaw, it's all tarantulas ever wanted. being able to support prowl in all capacities. how pure* *gotta get a nibble in every once in a while tho just to keep prowl awake* verdigrisprowl 9:17 pm *twitches just slightly under the nibbles* NoodlesAtNight 9:19 pm *Intrigued. Now how does that work?* araneamechanica 9:20 pm *organic magic* verdigrisprowl 9:24 pm That can't be healthy. NoodlesAtNight 9:24 pm [[...It certainly doesn't /look/ it.]] araneamechanica 9:25 pm For some species out there? Yes, but not on Earth at least. NoodlesAtNight 9:26 pm *Considers the super-relaxed state Prowl is in. Well, if he's not going to move, then--*

@P: [[He has finished his snacks and his hands are free. Would you like a leg rub?]] *He may not have fuzz, but maybe he can still add to it somehow?* [[What species /is/ that healthy for?]] araneamechanica 9:28 pm Half a dozen sentient life forms in the <insert name here> sector, that I know of. NoodlesAtNight 9:28 pm *Hm. That's an innovative way to transport a grounder. Perhaps he should look into something like that.* verdigrisprowl 9:28 pm *hmm. would that be relaxing or distracting?* @S «... Sure.» *if it's distracting, he can ask Soundwave to stop.* araneamechanica 9:28 pm (( too sleepy to Name, so sue meh verdigrisprowl 9:28 pm ((clearly the name is impossible to translate)) NoodlesAtNight 9:29 pm *Soundwave pings affirmation and sets to work. It'll be nice, mindless activity beneath the interest in the screen.* araneamechanica 9:30 pm Roughly speaking, they're... slime-based beings? That's probably the closest approximation. verdigrisprowl 9:30 pm And that's why torture doesn't work. NoodlesAtNight 9:30 pm [[So they have indeed got helicopters.]] araneamechanica 9:30 pm *nuzzles prowl's head and continues to hold him close & pet. allllll the pampering. what a good thing for him and soundwave to agree on* NoodlesAtNight 9:31 pm [[And yes, he expects the pain of dangling by one wrist from a clamp was far too much. He should have taken the human to a roof and questioned him there.]] araneamechanica 9:32 pm Batman may be vengeance, and he may be the night, but he isn't infallible, hyeh. (( is it ok if we pause here, or? something along those lines NoodlesAtNight 9:33 pm ((yep)) araneamechanica 9:33 pm (( we can either continue another night in the same d8 or ftb? NoodlesAtNight 9:33 pm ((up to you two)) verdigrisprowl 9:33 pm ((i say ftb)) araneamechanica 9:33 pm (( ayeaye verdigrisprowl 9:33 pm *and prowl... is drifting off to sleep* araneamechanica 9:33 pm (( sry for party poopin verdigrisprowl 9:33 pm ((ur good)) araneamechanica 9:34 pm *tarantulas isn't moving an inch so long as prowl's content* verdigrisprowl 9:34 pm *he is, at this moment, the most content bot in the universe* NoodlesAtNight 9:34 pm *Ahh. Now that's what he likes to see. A well-rested Prowl. Primus knows he could use more of it. ... Actually, they probably all could, but he's not about to fall asleep in Tarantulas' lab. He'll stay awake as long as he's here, just offering lazy watchfulness and/or attention as needed and wanted.*

1D Day, Hour One

God only knows what this hellscape will look like on December 18, so if I’m gonna recap each hour of 1D Day, I might as well do it now, eh?? 1D Day is a gift that none of us really deserved, and yeah, it has a ton of shitty moments, but much like X Factor itself, the true gem is Louis Tomlinson and how much he runs this entire show (and lbr, the band itself), Jesus, god, do I love him.

Anyway, 1D Day aired 7 hours of live content on November 23, 2013 to promote Midnight Memories, and yes, yes, we’ve all seen the gifsets, but like anything else with this band, it’s tremendously better in context. I watched this whole thing a couple of years ago, when I first got into this fandom, but I didn’t know all of the dynamics then, so it’s extra fascinating to me now. We’ve all binged worse shit than this that took way longer, and I promise you won’t regret an hour a night for a week--but if you’d rather read my hot take, here you go, under the cut! Note: these are really shitty screengrabs, and for that, I am truly sorry.

A horrible announcer introduces the D by saying they weigh in at a collective 792 pounds, and all I can wonder is does this mean they have daily weigh-ins, why is it that specific? This focus on their weight is just gross to me. C’mon, writers, you’re better than this (j/k, you aren’t).

The three-foot bubble between Louis and Harry is established pretty early on, with Harry doing the prettiest sitting in all the land before bolting to his feet immediately because Louis happened to walk by his couch. A very real question: Was this bubble a requirement that Ben Winston constantly whispers into their headpieces, or did sbb decide, hey, let’s make it obvious that we have to CONSTANTLY adjust where we stand, even if it’s two feet away because that’s not enough room for Jesus?

There are some truly hilarious guest “stars” to announce, the first being the giant video head of David Beckham, which pops up and immediately starts speaking, so we're already off to the races with a) fuckups and b) Louis’s annoyance at said fuckups.

Liam takes a good hard look at his future:

Harry isn’t allowed to gaze at Becks, he’s off by the listening booth, which is a giant red call box because they’re Briddish, pip pip, cheerio. Unrelated, but I low-key feel like Harry's coked up or else really taking the piss with all his “LIVE BANDDDDDDD,” JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!,” etc., not to mention how fast he’s speaking, the way he grinds on the guitarist’s lap while Louis fonds at the sky, and all the yelling with arms aloft.

The best part of the rundown of the guest “stars” (or breast stars, if you’re Niall) is that we’re only in the first 10 minutes, so everyone’s giving it a go, but then we get to Mr. Simon Cowell, and Niall claps five times to stony silence (me as Harry constantly staring at Louis from three feet away):

Piers Morgan comes out to describe the “grilling” he’s going to give them later, all angry—genuinely angry—that they’re trending on twitter because they keep saying that he smells. And they don’t stop, even here, they keep yelling, “What’s that smell? You stink, etc.,” and he’s such a dick that I want to bottle this moment and spritz it around my house daily.

This mild trash talking continues, with Piers promising “tears from Piers,” but Slytherin Niall pulls the fingernail out of his mouth, smiles that sneaky smile, and says, “Yeah, but this isn’t Piers Morgan Day, is it, this is 1D Day,” and I want a transcript because there’s so much talking, but all of it trashes Piers, and god, I love my sons.

Anyway, they keep winding Piers up (Piers: “I’m going to find out what you’re most embarrassed about,” Liam: “The way you smell,” Piers, genuinely in a rage: “Don’t say that”), and he keeps talking about how he’s interviewed heads of state, etc., the implication being that this is below him, but Niall counters that Oprah and Barbara Walters have, too, and they would have much preferred Oprah, to the point where Piers admits they couldn’t afford Oprah (lmaooooooo). 

We move on to Harry, spinning a twitter wheel that means they’ll follow whoever it lands on, which seems like a cute idea. I’m guessing it’s the official twitter handle?? I don’t know or actually care!

Louis can’t read the teleprompter, and he mutters later that it’s because it makes no sense rather than being too hard to actually see, but me as Niall, already yawning at the 25-minute mark (the bubble is preserved, though, whew):

I’m guessing Scott Mills is the “host” of this show because he comes out with a stick (??) and an agenda (Scott’s no Dermot…he has a face for radio, as they used to say back in the day). This whole section just features a lot of Harry and his pinned sleeves staring at Louis, and honestly relatable:

The next task is toilet paper roll stacking, with two judges from the Guinness Book of World Records on hand to see if this band of hyenas can beat the current world record and stack 28 (!!!!) rolls in 30 seconds. Two reasons to love Louis: he interrupts this idiocy to ask, “How did you two get into this, is this a full-time job you do every day?” (I was wondering the exact same thing), and this is his face for this challenge:

Sadly, they fail, and Harry’s the one who has to tell the judges, “Well, sorry for wasting your time!” with a cheery wave from the ladder. Uh oh, though, the bubble, we’re at two feet:

Much better!

This is still too close for Ben Winston’s comfort, so we split up the teams in what feels like a college course with a lot of money to run fake broadcasting drills. Zouis gets to report from the field, with some tweet rapping; the weather guy, sports guy, and lead broadcaster experience some technical difficulties, prompting Harry’s infamous, “SOMETHING’S GONE WRONG,” and we’re off to Poland:

For a production company that seems hell bent on “no homo,” there are lots of things that raise my brows, like this big “handsome” (Harry’s words) he-man who’s going to pull a “boohs” full of 1D fans over a line, so the boys have to guess how long it’s going to take him…by writing all over his mostly nude body (I’m the eye contact that Harry and Louis maintain during this):

Dude pulls the boohs successfully, so yay! Next up is Wrong Direction, the world’s worst lookalikes (HONESTLY, I’m embarrassed for everyone in this segment on Hollywood Blvd: the idiots who are “fooled” by this, the guys themselves and the low-key insult of it all, myself because this went on for way too long):

I’ll spare everyone the individual matchups because yike, but the real Wrong Direction comes to the studio, with all the guys dressed up like their matches, and the real D is polite, albeit mildly “wtf are we supposed to do about this” (me, too, Zayn). Points to Harry for at least trying to strike up some conversation: “Did you have foon, acting like us?” We’re supposed to vote for the best one on Google+ (lolololololol).

Scott takes two girls who look like they’re legit about to pass out into the red call box so they can be the first people to listen to the new album. While they listen to something none of us can hear, we get some VT (that’s “videotape,” god, I hate the whole lingo lesson we got earlier) of Spain and some fans, all of which feels like lengthy filler. I feel for the people Scott mentions as being asleep during this because there is a LOT of fill. Maybe make this shit shorter, just a suggestion!

Next up is Jamie Scott from his home somewhere in the middle of the night; he wrote most of Midnight Memories along with Louis and Liam, and he gives them an 8.5 in terms of how they did on a scale of 1-10 (and that’s AFTER Louis insults his pillows with the alphabet on them, “In case you forget”). There’s a lot of Lilo hand-shaking in celebration, and some enthusiastic clapping from Harry (a little too enthusiastic…I’m gonna imagine that someone tells him to tone it down in his earpiece because he looks around quite a bit):

A few things happen that don’t really interest me: the first listen of “Through the Dark” (this is skipped in the vid), a remote report from Radio Disney (Harry: “HOLLYWOODDDDDD!”) and a fan who wins the chance to come visit them later in the day, and then we’re back to Scott, who looks exhausted, and it’s only been 40 minutes.

All is not lost, because the next VT is the totally unnecessary yet extremely vital coverage of the D’s exercise regime. I’ve seen so many gifsets of hottttt and sweaty Lirry, but you haven’t lived until you’ve heard Niall’s American accent while he stretches: “Welcome to my workout dvd! I’ll be with you for the next 45 minutes to  give you the lowdown of how I stay in shape.” PLEASE @ NIALL, DO THIS.

I really WANT to be Harry and effortlessly pump out pushups, but in reality I’m Zouis, popping some robot dance moves and drinking Red Bull. The weird shorthand throughout this is that Liam is an animal (Ziam + a whip = fire), Harry’s into flirty sexercise, Niall wants an arse like Kim K’s, Zayn’s a slender boxer, and Louis…just fucks around? Missed opp for footie Louis.

The first performance is “Story of My Life,” and we’ve all seen it before, but godDAMN, Zayn sings like an angel. Lots of technical problems in the audio, prompting quite a few Louis/Harry hand gestures, but still, in spite of it all, they sound amazing individually and together.

Even local asshole Piers Morgan is impressed, as he comes out to tell them that they were surprisingly good, along with a bunch of other neg bullshit. This is another one of those segments that it pays to watch the whole clip of, and Jesus, do I want a transcript. They head over to the couches, and Piers points at Louis and says, “You have the most reason to be nervous,” but Louis’s like, “Yeah, but I’m not,” and wow, #goals.

Everyone gets a couch, and the upshot is that Piers is a terrible egoist who thinks he’s a fantastic interviewer, but he really isn’t…all the questions are shit, and these five eat him alive. Everything he asks falls flat, and it’s so masterfully, subversively handled, from Louis’s iconic “define girlfriends” (and the underappreciated attempt by Harry to define it for Piers later: “Like in primary school, if you hold hands with a girl and you're eight, is that a girlfriend?”) to the obsession with smells (Piers asking Niall, “Why do you always smell,” claiming it’s a fan’s question, and Niall answering that it’s because he had colic as a child, so can only fart; Piers asking Zayn, “Who stinks the worst,” and Zayn saying that they all smell quite good, actually) to Piers demanding to see Zayn’s tattoo and relentlessly attacking him for it being a gun (Louis keeps interjecting that it’s a watergun, but go off I guess, paraphrasing).

But the best is always Louis. “What’s the weirdest thing a girl has done to impress you?” “Tweeted Piers Morgan.” Later, he says pointblank to Piers, “You do stink.” But then…but THEN, it’s the Four interview 1.0, only instead of Ben trying to get Louis to deny gay rumors, it’s Piers, who does it twice: “What’s the one rumor you wouldn’t want to hear about yourself?” Louis’s answer: “That I’m not good at football.” “Are you good?” “No….I just wouldn’t want it confirmed.” Piers tries AGAIN: “What’s the worst thing you’ve had to read about yourself?” but Louis turns it around and says he hates reading about one of the other boys being dead (!).

Because he’s the worst, Piers takes it to the ladies and asks how many girlfriends they’ve had and how many times they’ve kissed a girl. Harry says he’s kissed 8 ladies (which prompts a good scoff out of Zayn), and everyone else says 5 or 6, 3 or 4, etc., with Louis declaring he’s only had one proper relationship (no genders mentioned), so maybe 2 (lmaooooo). Piers gets all excited that he’s kissed more girls than this hot boyband has, and I wanna say, you’re almost there, “friend”…keep working it through.

There’s more antics w/r/t Piers, like his poor 2YO daughter crying, and him trying to blame it on Harry Styles not answering her dad’s sex questions or stupid questions about embarrassing things they’ve caught the others doing, and yeah, I don’t think they’ll get into the big ot5 gang bang on live TV, but ask anyway, I guess?

The last person to suffer sitting next to Piers is Liam, and I love him always, but especially for saying, “How’s it going there, stinky?” when Piers takes a seat to ask him why he’s so sexy. Piers tries to “joke” that the sexy question is for him, but nobody says anything, and then he asks Liam AGAIN before admitting that it’s a shitty question, so then he asks about them all wearing tight jeans, and godddddd, why does anyone let him interview anyone?? 

The good news is that Piers can tell he lost, so as he tells them that he thinks they’re pretty okay, actually, but, “You’ve gotta stop calling me stinky,” and you know they never will.

Scott says it might feel like much longer, but it’s only been an hour, and Zayn’s lookalike won, so we can all rest easy. This hour closes with a review of the highlights, and it’s ham-fisted and awful. Shocking!!!!

I can’t do one of these every single day, but I’ll do hour two sometime soon! Hope you enjoyed this, @justlarried, lol!