#well see I guess hahaha
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I thought I was getting better with my “equating academic success with worth” issue.
Fast forward to right now when I just got done with an awards ceremony and didn’t place highest in two of the classes I took and am now super anxious and breathing is getting a little tricky (no worries im genuinely fine)
Like bro, it’s not that deep and my brain doesn’t care about grades so WHY this much of a reaction to something so dumb?
#I’m looking forward to next school year#I’ll be homeschooling for the first time#so then I literally won’t have any competition#and maybe will care less about grades#hopefully#I want to stop caring#well see I guess hahaha#sorry this was kind of venty#this isn’t for reassurance or anything#it’s just very annoying and dumb#academics#school#awards
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2009 Singapore Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso
#my eyes are just lazer focused on where his race suit is unzipped 🫠 he looks sooooo good in these#i wish theyd bring back this style of post race presser bcs my god imy heart skips a beat every time drivers make eye contact w the camera#i think the last race i watched where nando was on the podium was literally fucking canada 23#so i am very very please and happy and delighted to see him finally again#BUT I AM SHRIEKING AT THE FACT THAT HE DEDICATED HIS PODIUM TO FLAVIO AT HOME#FLAVIO WHO IS AT HOME BECAUSE HE WAS LITERALLY JUST PERMANENTLY BANNED FROM F1#AND HE DOES THIS PRACTICALLY ON THE ANNIVERSARY OF CRASHGATE WHICH WAS JUST PENALIZED A WK AGOO#NANNDDOOOOOOO WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS???? MENACE BEHAVIOR!!!!!!!! WAR CRIMINAL!!!!!!!#not included here but he was late to the cooldown room even tho he was the first one to get to parc ferme#and i realized its because he went to get a coke hahaha#i guess thats his drink of choice when dehydrated bcs thats what he was drinking at malaysia 2005 when it was also humid/hot#also i prefer the blue/yellow renault livery obv but i think the yellow/orange one is underrated#renaults liveries and color palletes from this era imo are just very clean and nice looking and work very well together#fernando alonso#fa14#formula 1#f1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#2009 singapore gp
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And with kindness leads to greatness
Patroclus is a kind man, written in between his words of doubt and low self esteem. The way he treats women he encounters with care and empathy speaks volumes then the words he utters.
His mother, everly so writtenly as meek and homely seemed to shine in his eyes as the sandy beaches of his home. As though, supposedly to dispise her from his father's lament. He remembers her simpleness like the warmth of the fading sky. Drifting and disappearing. But as the strings of her lyre, she is there only existing.
When Deidameia got pregnant with Achilles and learned that he will never ever love her, she was angry, disappointed and thrown away. She was promised of the boy and so she gave. And out of sheer destruction of a heart break, she agonizingly seeked comfort from Patroclus and demanded to lay with her so she could even by a small margin feel the soul of Achilles mending her broken heart. Cause as Patroclus quoted he is half of Achilles soul.
She's a victim in all of this as much as she tries to stand between the two lovers. And Patroclus understands this. Bedding her too but out of sympathy and kindness that she wanted to feel.
He was so human that when Briseis was turned into a prize of war, he urged his lover to take her and save her from being soiled by Agamemnon. He befriended her, clothed her, and taught her the way of the greeks. And as more prizes come, if by means possible, he wished for Achilles to take them from the humiliation to come.
In return for his selflessness, he was loved by the girl. Even offering him a child she could bare, knowing full well that she wont be the apple of his eye. But Patroclus could not dirty her like that. He knew she deserved better.
Thetis, on the other hand, had loathed him since the beginning. Yet she unknowingly seeked comfort from his memories of her lost child. Never to truly knowing the boy she had given birth to but only from the words of his lover. Patroclus was at her mercy, begging to reunite with his lover and yet instead of hating her even until death, he sang her Achilles' song.
And with the last hymns of his memory, she obliged writing his name beside her child's. The only motherly thing she had ever done.
Patroclus was the best of the Myrmidons for his sheer kindness alone. The cowardice that was bestowed by his true father was a lie but the name 'Patroclus' that meant glory of the father was true. Chiron is proud of his child. He honored him, using the knowledge he had bestowed and saved dozens of lives of hardened greek soldiers. Memorizing their names and each of their stories like his father did. Although, unlike them, he did not fight with swords and spears, he fought with his empathy in hand.
And the boy he had accidentally killed as a prince? It was not an act of cowardice of his confession, it was atonement. Acceptance of what he had done. Unlike those other kings and princes, he took the punishment as one should supposed to.
And that is why Achilles loved him. And that's why Achilles died when he did. Because he is the mortal half of his supposed to be godhood.
He is his other half, as the poet say.
#the song of achilles#song of achilles#patroclus#patrochilles#achilles#tsoa#thetis#briseis#writing analysis#idk I pulled this out of my ass but Patroclus treats women really well unlike the other greek characters#when he saved briseis through achilles I just felt so amazed by his actions#as someone who has been assaulted the huge relief I had when he did that#and when he bedded deidameia because she wanted it after her hysteria didnt feel forced or anything in some sense#it was just out of pure sympathy really although#I guess its also cheating but then again it is a diff culture at that time too lol#i just see it as a symbolism of his actions ngl#pls dont fight me hahaha I am too tender#I just want to give Patroclus some credit with how low he sees himself
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Just finished my first playthrough of BG3. Romanced Lae'zel, but ending up turning into an Illithid because the idea of making Orpheus or Karlach do it didn't sit well with me (or my character).
I told Lae'zel to leave with Orpheus in the end (I heard she wouldn't stay with a ghaik anyway, which she's valid for, but also, it doesn't feel right to ask her to stay when I know how much her people mean to her). And like-
Her face before she flies off---
She looks so heartbroken and sad.
#emmodii rambles#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate series#lae'zel#spoilers#i don't regret my choices and i do love a good angsty story. but at the same time... OOF.#may you find a new source of joy in the astral realm my queen :'(#for anyone curious- i played a githyanki which i heard is the only race that can fly off with her or something?#but well. again- didn't quite fit my character to have someone else turn instead pfffft#ALSO HE'S A CLERIC OF ILMATER AND A REDEEMED DARK URGE. self-sacrifice is kiNDA TO BE EXPECTED HAHAHA.#anyway- do give romancing lae'zel a shot guys. she may be a hardass at first but it's really because she cares a lot#also slightly off-topic but as a dark urge gith... durge grew up in a city so like. wonder how out of place they woulda felt with the#other githyankis anyway. i think i read somewhere that a gith durge realises they don't really feel connected to creches and stuff#which is interesting and makes me curious about how exactly they were made. cuz they have the traits and knowledge of the race but didn't#grow up with them. i guess the easiest answer would be 'god magic shenanigans' but STILL.#trust me to overthink things hahaha XD#if anyone's curious what happened to my guy in the end--- we followed wyll and karlach to avernus hahaha#what are the devils gonna do? steal the soul we don't have?? TRY IT BITCH#of course i did reload multiple times to have my character kill himself. because that was another option that felt possible for his charact#...and also because i wanted to see how companions would react to it. krewfjewlkrjewklrjewl- although the narration for durge suicide#is also quite interesting! of course maybe that's just me being mentally ill eff (/lh) but having a kill that isn't going to murder daddy?#gives a redeemed durge some control and a final say at last. which is still sad but a nice way to tie up their death methinks#ANYWAY- time to go find a way to convert him into a full-on OC. elves and dwarves are one thing but giths are blatantly dnd so i'mma have#to figure that out for my own story lore and universe--- some kinda new species? humanify him? or convert to another existing general speci#hmm hmm hmmmmmmmmmm-
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how are we feeling about the new netflix adaptation of avatar??!!!!!!!!!!!! the zuko casting eats and swolzai is so cool to see actually translated well (although we will see how they treat the characters in this)
HEYYYYYYOOOOO!
The only thing I’m really looking forward to from the live action is being able to gossip about it with my mutuals. I don’t really have any other opinion, I mean… it looks cool! (Sokkas hair & zukos scar bother me but ehhhh what can I do?) But I’m an animation junky, I love my anime and my cartoons (bobs burgers beloved) so I don't particularly care for the “real people actors” taking over my cartoons but I’m totally chill about it honestly.
I will ABSOLUTELY be watching it and probably will form a more solid opinion after I actually watch the show.
#Omg I had to message a friend and ask who sowlozai was hahaha#I was like ummmm I don’t know this person#& they had to hold my hand and walk my old ass through it#But yeah! I guess I’m just not the kind of person who jumps to criticism#I mean don’t get me wrong I love a good gossip sesh#Don’t tempt me with a good time haha#I see a lot of effort being put into it so I want to give everyone who worked really hard to bring this show to life a chance#I can’t just tear apart all their hard work from a few photos and a couple trailers#I know it won’t be close to the original but it might be good#I heard the one piece live action was good#Idk I’m watching one piece currently so I haven’t seen the live action but ahhh luffy is so awesome haha#Again this show could be a dumpster fire but can it be worse than the first live action movie….? I think not#*points at friend who actually likes the live action movie* HAHAHA I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE#poor dads still waiting for book two hahaha#Sorry sorry I love you don’t be mad <3#Ok well COME SCREAM AT ME WHEN YOU WATCH IT AND ILL YELL BACK!!!!!!!#& yeah they had no business making ozai look that offical… damn it live action CUT IT OUT#& im sorry but iroh is the most iroh looking iroh i could have imagined and i giggle every time i see him#But i will take jabs that Netflix threw all that money at the show and still always sunny did a burn scar on cricket 10000x better than zuk#Left eye paint job (i know it’s mean but i doubt anyone would have stopped watching if they would had added a little more realism to that…)#(They didn’t have to shave his brow but put some of that effect glue shit on it and plaster that sucker down#ONE EYE BROW ZUKO!!!!!!!!!!!! )#& sokkas jet black hair with his front poof is just …. Damn it I think it’s actually stupidly canon for them to fuck up sokkas character#THIS MUCH - but again… maybe he’ll pull it off idk I JUST DONT KNOW#The girls are perfect & fuck it when azula picked up a bow#The first thing I thought was that fucking Annie song#“Anything you can do I can do better I can do anything better than you”#Zuko works tirelessly to master his weapon#Azula picks up a bow and laughs ‘silly zuzu weapons as child’s play’ *proceeds to hit a bullseye with no effort*#BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT
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“What If…Venom Had Bonded to She-Hulk?” What If…? Venom (Vol. 1/2024), #1.
Writer: Jeremy Holt; Penciler and Inker: Jesús Hervás; Colorist: Ceci de la Cruz; Letterer: Ariana Maher
#Marvel#Marvel comics#What If…? Venom#Moon Knight comics#Moon Knight#Venom#let’s get this bread#latest release#heck yeah I see that crescent moon blade#if….handled well a Moon Knight + Venom combo could be really interesting#what we have so far hasn’t completely dashed my hopes so !!! fingers crossed I guess!#(also feels like the first time in a while I’ve credited a letterer besides Cory Petit the man has a truly prodigious body of work hahaha)
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🫥
#Nevermore#Nevermore Webtoon#Webtoon#I… what#Ok first off the Deans#Nice to see them they’re always fun#Except when they make fun of me for doing exACTLY WHAT THEY SAID#LIKE BRUH YOU PUT THE BELL THERE IMMA RING IT#I swear I thought they were going to single out Annabel and she was going to get her smart girl status broken#But no it was Prospero#Oh well uh hahaha we have some things to talk about with him don’t we hhahaahah#Oh well take your merits and go#now sPEAKING OF MERITS#THAT BOARD NEVER GAVE ME SO MUCH ANXIETY#SO FIRST OFF LIKE GET ROASTED MONTRESOR#AND WILL (sorta)#WHATEVER ADA YOU WERE OKAY#I’M SO SORRY MORELLA I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU TRIED TO KEEP YOUR STATUS BUT I GUESS YOU’RE NOT IN THE NEGATIVES#AND. UM.#DUKE?!?!?!?!?!?#“Whenever a student perishes in this way#their name will be immediately removed from the roster#AND YOU’LL NO LONGER SEE THEM ON THE MERIT BOARD”#EP. 46 IF YOU’RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION#WHERE IS HE WHO DID THINGS TO HIM I DON’T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE WAS IS MONTRESOR WAS IT THE DEANS AAAAAAA#🇫🇷🇫🇷🇫🇷 WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUU#ok anyway#Why Dreamland? Like why? Unless Duke is there I’m skepticalllllll#I just got out of a pocket dimension now you want me to go in another one like c’mon guys#*Lenore voice* Don’t worry Pluto sweetie I want to find Duke as much as you do but these IDIOTS—
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Does anyone else hate writing the beginning of fics??
Like I know where I want the story to go, sometimes I even know where I want it to start, but trying to figure out how to open it?? Introduce the scene??
I just feel this pressure that it needs to have a good hook (thanks school-essay writing for that one) that HAS to catch the attention RIGHT away.
Maybe this is just me but it's my least favourite part of writing ;-;
#waterfalltalks#not snz#just complaining <3#sometimes!! i do know what i want!!#but most of the time im just sitting there like... uh... these characters are in a situation... i guess...#reading other fics all you people start them SO well#but i always feel like im either doing WAY too much or not enough#anyways im just complaining over here feel free to ignore this hahaha~#just ~writing burn out things~#i use the word anyways too much in my tags ive just noticed that#id say i'll use it less but i know i wont <3 im a roomba brain person <3#im always jumping from one thought to another to another to anoth-#ANYWAYS (sadjiolgkm) I will end this little vent session here~ apologies hahaha~#gonna start a trend where people send in intros and then you build a story to finish it#easy solution~ (im kidding... exceptmaybeI'mnot guess we'll see-)
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oh they fr had bitchnasty sex after this
#tomgreg#I CANT BREATHE HAHAHAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa oh wow. ohhhhhhh wow. oh wow. hahahahahaaaaaaaaaa wow.#GREG REALLY SAID: YOU WANNA FUCK ME SO BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID.#the way tom goes OHHHhhhh at greg getting bold is Exactly the same tone me and my gf use with each other. just. you know. for reference.#BUT GREG'S LITTLE HEAD GESTURE BEFORE HE SAID PROVE IT LIKE HE REALLY MEANS IT?????? I GOTTA GO#also i'm sorry but they both read so fucking gay to me like so gay. esp greg in this moment. his line for comfry is so like.#it's so. like you just wouldn't do that. i think. if you were straight. I DONT KNOW I JUST FEEL A KINDRED SPIRIT IN HIM I GUESS.#''she seems like a nice.... person'' GIRL WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT AND THE PAUSE BEFORE PERSON I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.#i know what you both are.#like. fuck what else can i say about this scene. they're insane i guess????#oh btw i know for a fact tom thinks greg is the most beautiful weird ass creature he's ever seen#like you know a sea creature that's kinda weird that you'd find at the bottom of the ocean that you see in an aquarium#and you're like wow!! that's odd! but.... so beautiful#like that's greg to tom. yet he's like SHES SO PRETTY AND YOU'RE SO GROSS HAHAHA#like. i see what you're doing you fucking avocado you're like oh don't bother going after her bc you're sweet and she might actually say yes#she might like you for what i like you for and y'all might hook up and i can't be having that!!!#like he's so transparent lmfao.#how do i know tom thinks greg is beautiful?? well who else do you say would be fit to take over from your beautiful wife if she died#ALSO tom is just surprised that greg bit back he's not even like. angry? idk i feel like if anyone else said that they'd be#family guy on the floor pose#about shiv being out of his league i mean#HE EVEN LOOKED AT GREGS MOUTH WHEN HE DID THAT LMFAOOO HE THOUGHT THAT WAS HOT#GOD I HATE HIM HAHAaaaaaaahh#AND AFTER GREG SAYS PROVE IT IT JUST CUTS OFF?!??! DID YALL GO FUCK IN THE BATHROOM IM MDDDWDWKDW#ALSO IF YOU LOOK AT PREV POST/WHAT HAPPENED PREVIOUSLY. THEY TOUCHED EACH OTHER LIGHTLY DIDNT EVEN HUG.#and as i said it felt sort of like ''i don't wanna spoil your outfit we can do that later anyway when we fuck raw''#then you get this. and the cut off. so like. come on what the fuck am i supposed to think. just ignore it??#ALSO sorry. sorry. BUT TOMS FACE DURING IT ALL HES LIKE 20 YEARS YOUNGER!!!!!!! AAARRAHgh#ALSO!!!! sorry. sorry. sorry. but why are the colours the bisexual flag in the bg. why. for what reason.#tom keeps looking at gregs mouth all throughout talking about how he fucks. so fuck him. prove it pussy.
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just finished Bridgerton s1 👁️👄👁️
#spoiler-ish thoughts in the tags. well kinda spoilers I guess hahaha but hey:#simon and daphne low-key soooooo toxic wtfffff#but heh it was an entertaining ride#I’m glad s2 seems to be focusing on the siblings#because Eloise and Anthony are very compelling characters#also hot take but I wish they had not revealed lady whistledown’s identity at the end#it would have been cool if she was still a mystery in s2 but I guess they want the drama of it#oh well I look forward to seeing s2 unfold#rain rambles
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Still normal don’t even worry about it (Patreon)
#Doodles#ADHD#I was Very nice to my fixation - when it was fixated on the thing I wanted it to be lol#Honestly I wasn't even that mean about the two (2!!) other things it wanted to brain-focus on#Mad about it but in that dopamine way lol#''Can we please get dopamine from this thing and not those other things? Please'' ''Lol''#That is not an answer!#It is honestly still really interesting data :0#I've still never successfully forced a fixation but this is at least the second time I've continued a falling fixation#I wonder what the through-line is hahaha <knows the through-line#I was actually very resistant to fixating on the other things because my pride got in the way again lol#To the point where I didn't even write them down until recently pffft yeah that's how that works#''If I don't write them down then they don't count'' Uh Huh#Even if there are Some similarities to the last time I forcefully refixated there are still enough differences to make for interesting data#Like how the last time I had three in conflict did Not go well it was very rough on my brain - but this time was nice :D#Probably helps that the two-pair were kinda-sort from the same source so really I guess it Could be argued that it was just two in conflict#But I'm not counting it that way and since it's my brain and I make the rules that's what matters lol#The next set is one of the fixations you all saw the TV Guide for this week it's fine lol#The other - it's another video game but hmmm I might see about making fanart if/when I actually get to play it myself#It's very silly so I'm gonna hold onto it for a bit longer haha
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those 2011 pics remind me of hard the McLaren race suits used to fuck, I loved the vodafone era suits so much 🥹
YES AGREED!!! I love the Vodafone McLaren livery, literally peak!!!!!
Thank you for sending this ask bcs now I get to talk about 2011 in particular. There were these special Saturday race suits and they're all so pretty!!! Hugo Boss did a design competition to celebrate their partnership with McLaren and different artists made different designs for the Quali days. They're so beautiful 🥹🥹 Why can't they do anything fun like that now???? I digress, I went through all the Qualis and compiled pics of all of them!!
#which is your guys' fav?#mine would prob have to be Hungary. Japan. India. Malaysia.#i think all the Asian ones are soooooo cool with all the colors and animal motifs!!#anyways so right anon!!! vodafone mclaren was peak livery and designs!!! chrome/red >>>>>>>>> papaya#anyways hahaha prob not what you expected my reply to be#but this has been stuck in my brain for a while#i remember seeing the Hungary one at some point and thinking it was incredibly beautiful but having no idea the context behind it#and your ask made me finally go to research it#this was super fun to research bcs i didnt realize there was so many!!! literally 18 different racesuits.....so fucking sick.....#im obsessed with race overalls in general like theyre just so cool to me so to see all these different ones is just unbelievebly sick to me#one day ill make a post abt race suit details that make me feral(e.g. when suits used to have race belts & the FIA badge on the neck)#ive downloaded a lot of 2011 pics bcs of sebson but never rly thought any deeper abt why there were so many race suit varieties#the hungary one won the contest(very rightfully) so Jense wore it for the Brazil GP in entirety!!#i also think the Germany won as well bcs Lewis was wearing it for the Brazil gp? but im super biased towards the hungarian one haha#f1 lore??? i guess????? idk if this is obscure or not! obscure to me at least!! i mean that boss yt vid has only 2k views lmao#f1#formula 1#lewis hamilton#jenson button#mclaren#vodafone mclaren#formula oe#we do a little bit of f1#catie.asks.#f1 lore
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Someone on the discord server I’m in seems to have me blocked for no reason I can recall… like idk that’s totally their prerogative if they find me unpleasant or annoying or whatever and I’m not gonna make a fuss about it but also. What did I do :(
#it just makes it so awkward and makes me feel bad when they join in on convos in channels I frequent#it’s like ‘oh ok I guess I’ll leave then’ hahaha#and it seems like this person is pretty well liked within the server so it’s like [shrug emoji]#this could blow up and break bad at any moment but for the meantime I’ve blocked them back since they obvi don’t want to see me lmao#and seeing them just makes me anxious#I know it’s just my rsd being triggered like hell but that’ll get better once I’m back on my full medication schedule#methylphenidate shortage my beloathed
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i mean i don't know what i was expecting but freminet's gameplay animations actually disappointed me immensely LMAO
#genshin leaks#they put all the animation budget into lyney going :P#freminet's in game model also really emphasized how boring i think his design is esp after seeing his concept art#like i get they wanted to go the penguin/diver route but they could have leaned into it more they didn't have to be so BORING about it </3#well i guess i can officially go back to not caring much for the 4.0 characters HAHAHA#so far none of the fontaine cast is really hitting but as per usual hopefully gameplay animations and story will sell them for me#this does not apply to arlecchino i will do anything for that woman#0.txt
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What if Comet C/2022 E3 (ZTF) was a glowy celestial cat falling towards earth 🥹✨☄
Remember tonight the comet will be the closest it has been to earth in millions of years, the last time she passed Earth woolly mammoths were alive, so take a break, go outside, and look up at the sky!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart to @tamberella for posting that one glowy animals tutorial reel 💖 and for her brush packs (used some of the old fur brushes here). I'm going to probably go crazy with these
#animal illustration#cat illustration#my art#artists on tumblr#yes i am in a very starry magical celestial phase so what#i tried to see the comet last night but couldn't but i still slept well knowing i tried hahaha#maybe i did see it and didn't know which one it was#they say she has a green tail but i am not sure if the green is seeable with the naked eye or only with a nice telescope#which i don't have#anyways yes hello i am back!! I will try to post here more often!!#Sorry i guess trying to keep up with instagram is taking all of my energy#but u can follow me there!!#@/ pewpewpewart
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so many new silent hill projects (*/ω＼*)
#i know they won’t be able to capture what made sh2 so special BUT#from the trailer i’ve seen it seems like they’re trying to keep with that very flat affect in the acting and i think that’s awesome#it’s also literally identical to sh2 original from what i’ve seen as well#ugh <3333333333333#i’m rly interested in townfall tho#i don’t even care if the game isn’t good#the aesthetics alone are worth it#and anything that uses tech to it’s creepy advantage is always a plus for me#like i love the use of static in the original sh2#i actually wrote about it and it’s function in one of my final papers hahaha#because one of the dead space games (ds 2 i think) does the same with with static signalling uhhhh what’s her name isaac’s girlfriend#anyway#super excited for all of this i don’t even care if it’s awful#silent hill is half aesthetic/atmosphere anyway#my boyfriend & one of his brothers & i were talking about that actually the day it released#like the day the announcement released#saying if they can get the atmosphere of sh2 right then they’re halfway there#what i’m particularly worried about is this advanced technology taking away the charm of sh2#like the fact that the graphics are so;;;; not bad but mediocre or old school i guess??? just adds to its charm a LOT#but with all that being said it’ll also be so awesome to actually SEE the town in gorgeous graphics#super excited to see my sexy man pyramid head in all his HD glory ugh <33333 YES daddy!!!!!!#clari clatters#omg#clari CHATTERS#i’m leaving clatters tho that’s so funny
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