those 2011 pics remind me of hard the McLaren race suits used to fuck, I loved the vodafone era suits so much 🥹

YES AGREED!!! I love the Vodafone McLaren livery, literally peak!!!!!

Thank you for sending this ask bcs now I get to talk about 2011 in particular. There were these special Saturday race suits and they're all so pretty!!! Hugo Boss did a design competition to celebrate their partnership with McLaren and different artists made different designs for the Quali days. They're so beautiful 🥹🥹 Why can't they do anything fun like that now???? I digress, I went through all the Qualis and compiled pics of all of them!!

hi! I was hoping you could do a Bakugo, Midoriya, Todoroki and Kirishima (separate) with an s/o that has Tourettes, preferably they/them pronouns please. I hope you're having a good day <3

Of course! I was gonna take a break in the middle of my (unspoken) break aka me being lazy, but this request was so nice I- I had to 😔✋🏾 it was definitely the heart. It got me.

MHA BOYS WITH AN S/O THAT HAS TOURETTES

TW FOR ODD LOOKS AND STARES/BULLYING(ISH)

BAKUGO

Bakugo wasn’t really sure when he first met you about why your head was twitching or why you were repeating the sentences Aizawa had said sometimes, as he didn’t know you had tourettes. He never even spoke to you like the others did so you never had the chance to tell him until Kirishima did.

When you two started dating he started seeing patterns of when you would get to stressed and start jerking or spouting out random things you heard from youtube videos, he did his best to make sure you knew he was there for reassurance, whether it was a hand on your hand or just pure presence.

There were times when you would have ticcing fits and he would have to sit and rub your back and watch you, and in those times you realized he really was there for you.

He likes to do this thing where he rants on about things he doesn’t like to try and distract you- I’m not sure how he has so much he doesn’t like but every time it’s a new odd topic....sometimes it can literally be something like how he hates trees because when it’s fall he has to rake up the leaves and you have to say

“Bakugo they literally help you not die.” It really is a mystery sometimes how he’s so smart.

Sometimes you can be a bit upset with your tics. It’s not that you’re insecure or that you’re ashamed, but they’re difficult to deal with. The control that you could have isn’t there and that’s stressful in and of itself, and in those moments Bakugo realizes the best thing he can do for you - is make you understand that you are just like the rest of the class and the rest of the people in the world.

“Listen it doesn’t matter if you’re different because to me you’re still cool, you’re still funny, you’re still incredibly sarcastic and while I don’t enjoy that for the most part- you’re my extra regardless of whatever you feel. Get that bull out of your head.”

I mean, he wouldn’t date anybody less than the best.

MIDORIYA

Midoriya is the predictable character in the relationship. He researched about Tourettes and what he could do in times when you needed him, I mean he’s not perfect but he’d rather know something rather than nothing.

You tended to be the one who was more of a risk taker, and sometimes your tourettes got in the way of that- which could frustrate you to no end then causing harsher tics like hitting or yelling, and those were the times Midoriya tried to get anything too dangerous either out of your hands- or just out of the way so you didn’t get hurt, he was smart with it.

Other times he could be too much for you, almost treating you like a kid so you had to remind him that you know and understand precautions, but that you also want to live like everybody else and that is nothing short of your business.

You’re favorite activity with him was when he would help you study because he made it so fun for you. It could be hard to pay attention in class sometimes and do your work after school so Izuku would come over and assist you. He would make sure you guys took breaks and that you understood the topic at your own pace.

“Izuku can you like- give an example?”

“Well it’s just kind of- wait what is an example-“

In many situations Midoriya LOVED holding your hand, like he did it at any time, any place. It was something he thought wasn’t too much in public and it was reassuring for you both. When you’re tics got too much you could squeeze his hand, and other times when he wouls get anxious or something would happen he would squeeze yours. It was cute and handy!

There were instances when Midoriya definitely had his mistakes with your tics and how to deal with them but he was willing to take his time and learn because who would he be without his perfect person stayin’ by his side?

KIRISHIMA

Kirishima is probably the most sympathetic with your tics because he stay prepared for them. It’s never been like “Kirishima can you” but it’s always been more like ‘Kiri how do you always know’ and there’s never been an answer that he gave other than ‘I gotta stay ready for my lovely lover~’

Kirishima likes to do this thing where he goes “neck” after you have a rough day with your tics and with massage your neck for you or your back, depending on how your tics were. He likes takin’ care of you, and it’s not like he doesn’t know you can’t take care of yourself because hey, you didn’t get into 1-A by being a pushover.

Sometimes you’ve had times when people in school just aren’t all that accepting and Kirishima will clap back unprovoked.

“Sometimes I think about how sad you have to be to make fun of them and dang man, you got a therapist?”

Other times you’ll basically respond for him, like I said, you can DEFINITELY take care of yourself.

Whenever you’re in the car or on the bus on a trip in the case that you’ve gotten real excited (which is natural being around your boyfriends and your friends at the same time) he’ll play this playlist he made of your favorite songs and sing to distract you. Does he sing well? That wasn’t the question- but he does sing, only for you though because the other students keep dissing him.

He has a reflex of rubbing your back during free period or at lunch. I don’t think this is relevant but it’s something super adorable, and sometimes he just gives you his hand to look at and play with when you have anxiety as well to keep you calm.

Also irrelevant but other times he’ll facetime you before you guys go somewhere and ask what to wear because he wants to match with you, and it’s so cute because you could lie so hard and he’d believe everything you say.

You two are kinda a power couple like- you both can hold your own but also are such nice people, good job makin’ the rest of 1-A feel lonely guys.

TODOROKI

Todoroki is a simple guy. He doesn’t want to overcomplicate things for the most part because “why would I act like your guardian, if I’m literally your boyfriend” and that’s that.

He tends to try and keep you calm, as it’s something pretty simple for him, he knows a bunch of tactics for distractions or when those are obsolete, he’ll just sit there with you, and maybe rub your back or get a water bottle for when it’s done, he just never wants to do too much because he knows your capabilities, and he knows your limits.

He is also a large hand holder. Mostly because he doesn’t like the idea of PDA for the most part, and he doesn’t like leaving your side either, because you’re very comforting to him. It’s a given we all know he needs love and comfort please.

There have been times when people look at your because of your tics in public and Todoroki has had to give a little glare back because of the disrespect being blatantly put out. In rarer times you will both glare at the same time, those are the coolest moments of you as a couple.

Shoto doesn’t really care much for your tics only because he’d rather just make sure you’re ok then watch Avengers rather than treat you like a child if anything, and that’s because you told him first that you wanted a boyfriend not a babysitter (speakin’ facts) and at first he didn’t understand and he thought you didn’t want his help but soon understood otherwise.

Some cute things I like to think of are that he likes to put on your favorite songs when you’re anxious and try to dance for you. It’s not good- let’s start with that, because he’s kinda...stiff, but the attempt is absolutely adorable (and oh so funny).

Other things are he likes to call you cheesy nicknames when you’re cuddling because he likes your reactions everytime, because according to him, yeah he said it himself, you are very adorable when annoyed. Don’t @ me!

Overall he just loves spending time with you whenever he can, you’re truly a safe-haven for him.

EL FIN

-

Alright tourettes is a real thing y’all, so I didnt make this rainbows n cupcakes bc im sure that’s not always how it is.

If anything in this is offensive or too much for somebody I can take it down and re-do it! I’m not too sure how it is bc it feels kinda repetitive but we’ll see I guess, and thanks to the person who requested my day was fine thanks 😩✋🏾.

I also included some things I like to do (play with hands and listen to music) because i have anxiety and I known that can worsen tics and can also come with tics (a lot of ppl with tics have adhd, anxiety, or some sort of disorder along with it)

- SS <333333

of light and verse | jaebum

desc: you literally end up falling for the boy who sits at the back of your uber hard lit class. college!jaebum litmajor!jaebum. all the fluff. just super fluffy

word count: 1.913

requested by: @jaebums-sunshine​ [Jaebum college au/domestic au fluff!]

note: i wrote this at lit 4am but ummm my love as a lit major was too cute to pass up

oh my god ok COLLEGE JAEBUM

setting my heart on fire at the thought of my lit nerd headcanon for him

lets get into it!

so its freshman year and ur walking into your first lit class, a bit intimidated bc its like,, a course no first year dared to touch but u just wanted a cool sounding course so bad u jumped at the opportunity

its GREEK MYTHOLOGY!! who wud not hello

and ur excited until the professor opens her mouth

and ur blown away by how,,,,,,, interesting and riveting the whole thing is but shit is it going to be this hard throughout??

the first few classes involves you frantically taking notes and trying to keep up w the impossible pace this class is going

but theres this BOY

he sits right at the end while ur in front so u could pass him off as uninterested,,, taking the course for extra creds??? wrong

this BOY quips in between the lecture with the most fascinating comments, connecting the odyssey to so many modern works, to poetry and to music

and ur like,,, who made u,,,, how r u like this

ur kind of annoyed by how smart this boy is

its not like you dont get wtf is happening here, but how can he get it and SO MUCH MORE

and tbh ur kind of jealous but u didnt hear that from me. also he has the softest voice that creeps up behind u and makes ur body stir

wait what

so u work super hard

and like super hard, u finish all ur readings and do ur own research

but u still feel like its not enough

like idk who u think u are, u start living at the library

cup of tea in hand and a book in the other, it sounds optimal but the stress is lowkey making you lose ur mind

ur looking for a book in the aisles, a VERY specific one on sappho’s fragmented poems

and FINALLY u see it............on the top most shelf

ur 5′4″ self is SCREAMING

and u could ask for help but help is for losers

so u make the very intelligent decision to climb the shelves what?? no ones looking

ur almost there when

a hand

reaches at the same time as urs

u almost scream for real this time, shutting ur eyes real tight, letting go of ur meager hold on the shelf and falling back

like u have accepted ur death at this point

until???? wait??? you feel two hands around you and suddenly you’re not falling

“my god, are you okay??” how tf do i know this voice

you open your eyes to be met with the softest brown eyes, framed by these wire glasses

oh

its him

of c o u r s e

u literally dont know what to say until he laughs a little at you (an adorable, light noise that fills you up)

“this is probably not one of your greatest moments” ur cheeks are on FIRE

suddenly he notices his arms are still around u and he hastily places u on ur useless jelly feet

“were you going for the book on sappho? i didn’t know anyone else here knew it existed”

you’re about to stammer out a reply, not really ready to explain to the lit prodigy that ur trying to be at least half as insightful as him but he

squints at u

“wait, aren’t you in my lit class?? you are, aren’t you?”

he REMEMBERS ur invisible ass??? ok??? what doesnt this boy notice?????

u finally find your tongue, stammering out a “y-yeah, i was planning out my paper and needed a second reference”

wow is he lowkey impressed he stares at u for a bit

ur now hyperaware of ur messy bun and glasses, the old t shirt you’d tucked into mom jeans feeling so inadequate in front of him in his stylishly messed up hair n button up,,, how could someone be this pretty at 4pm on a sunday

“honestly, me too. but its okay, you can have this” 

he barely needs to reach up to get this book and ur like, looking at his shoulders as he faces away from u for a split second and man is he built

“are you sure???” you let out in an almost whisper “don’t you need this?”

“nah its okay i read it over the summer already” o yes of course

“i’m jaebum by the way” he smiles at you and ur stomach JUMPs

“i’m y/n” you try, and then blurt out “and also really sorry for this i’m like,, dumb as hell-”

“its no issue, y/n” his voice is HONEY as it says your name and you can feel urself turning redder

“i’ll see you in class then” hes gone as quickly as he arrived and ur still in shock because what the fuck

did that really happen or did u doze off after a caffeine crash again???

so the next day in class u walk in, heading towards your seat when  ur eye catches jaebum’s

and he gives u the BIGGEST SMILE

WHAT AN ANGEL

ur blushing furiously and manage a quick smile back

and thru/o ur so distracted bc u swear u feel his eyes on the back of ur neck but ur also too scared to look bc WOW WHY IS THIS BEAUTIFUL BOY STARING AT ME

so at the end of the class ur throwing all ur books into ur mess of a backpack when u hear a voice 

“so did you end up finishing the book”

its god jaebum, beanie hiding his tousled hair and trademark glasses on his nose

“no i still have some stuff to cover but its fine!! you can have it u want-”

“no, no i was going to suggest we do the paper together?”

is this ,,,, really happening

“i mean, sure” WHY ARE U AGREEING WHY DO U WANT TO DIE

“okay great! i’ll meet you in the library at 4?”

“okay see you then!!” u squeak out and dash

wtf was that

this man did not need ur help, he is a lit GOD

but ur there at 4, a little thankful for the heads up bc u managed to put some semblance of makeup on urself

and he walks in and ur heart is on fire again bc hes so pretty and he’s also so excited to do lit, lit makes this boy

u slowly ease into conversations w him, sappho being taken over by more personal deets

ok first of all, this boy has 5 cats

5

he shows u pictures of all of them, names and all, like a mom showing off her children

ur heart is so so full of this endearing boy

you keep meeting thru the rest of the week

on tuesday, he asks you ur favorite color

on wednesday, he convinces u to tell him ur favorite memory

on thursday, you tell him how vanilla ice cream is everything to you but u cant stand strawberry

on friday, he asks u for ur number

on saturday, he randomly texts you 6 pictures of his cat sitting on two legs

on saturday, you realize u have fallen for the boy at the back of ur lit class

u dont know what to do

this boy is so so dumb at heart but can also recite all of shakespeare’s sonnets by heart

like hes the cutest idiot u have ever seen

and ur falling super hard for him

ur friendship goes strong for a while

gradually u blush less frequently and get comfortable w him, going over to his place at times

the first time u go (for lit probably) he opens the door and ur greeted w the smell of disaster

like really it smells super bad

and hes frantic and panicky bc “i didn’t know how hard cooking was the tomato sauce is all burnt what did i do”

poor perfect boi is bad at cooking???

even surrounded w smoke and in a dirty apron he looks ADORABLE

and ur laughing and taking the saucepan off the stove for him, throwing his failure out and suggesting u just get some chinese

and he agrees w a sigh and ur like ur so dumb

and no ur definitely not trying to think abt how he wanted to cook for u

when u call him over u make spaghetti

red sauce

“wow so ur really out here triggering me like this”

“is it my fault ur an idiot sandwich”

“w o w”

he probably pouted and u probably made fun of it tho ur heart was crying 

so it goes on like this for a while

and ur always wondering ‘does this boy even like me like that’ bc he out here giving u so many signals but never making the move

like ur ass is never sure if he’s into u or just being nice

bc lets face it - im jaebum is the definition of nice

and its honestly getting kind of annoying

like pls tell me if u like me my heart cant take it much longer

u guys are at his, doing ur readings

you glance to the side and see jaebum reading intently, eyes flying over the words, relaxed and so sweet, a ray of light from the window falling on him and making his eyes radiate a dark brown

you dont even notice how long you’ve been staring until u hear his voice

“hello what r u doing”

fuck

“nothing! just,,,, you looked really pretty with the light falling on ur face. no i mean, look!! like, you’re pretty”

OK

WHAT

did u JUST 

SAY THAT

"not that that means you’re not pretty at other times!! i mean,,, you’re pretty all the time and its honestly really crazy” WHY ARE U STILL TALKING

hes just.... staring at u in wonder

and ur lik e wow this is it, this is when the ground acc swallows me up and i die

when his face breaks into this beautiful smile

“you think i’m pretty?”

his voice is so soft and pure

u r, on the other hand, about to collapse from embarrassment

and just nod and its like the day in the library all over

and he’s still smiling when he says “y/n, i think you’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen”

your stomach SWOOPS

IS THIS REAL LIFE

“i’ve wanted to say that for the longest time” he breathes and you notice just how close he is

“thats just,, i mean wow i didn’t know...” u manage to say

he leans in a little closer and his hands r burning a hole resting on ur thighs

the light is very brilliant as his head dips lower, breath on ur lips until he fills the gap between you

and im jaebum is kissing you

you barely remember to respond, but when you do, he leaves light kisses on ur lower lip, hand coming up to cup ur cheek 

ur entire body is on fire as he draws you closer, your hands going into his hair and feeling for the first time how soft it was 

wow u had really dreamed about this huh

he draws back a little bit, face incredibly close to yours and asks u “is this okay?”

,,,,,,,boi

“more than okay, this is perfect” you press him closer and all else is forgotten

send in requests!

kh3 comes out in a week (!!!!!) and i have some kh hottakes and kh3 predictions/wishes bc im emotional and ive been playing this series since i was 5 years old lmfao but feel free to chat w me about them!!!!!!!

i love xion just as much as the next person but why would they waste the BEST character theme and battle music on this tiny tiny character that showed up for 5 seconds compared to the series in total lol. 

if they dont confirm that riku and sora love each other as more than friends (even if they dont end up like, together) then im lowkey callin queerbaiting. is that a stretch? idk

i really want for the end of kh3 that some characters dont go home, and at least three of them stay back (rebuild the land of departures?) and become fulltime masters and take on kids to train

i want sora to GO HOME AND STAY HOME (for a while at least) at the end

i want kh3 to be the last real game (they can make spinoffs all they want idc but they should End It for good here)

i know this is the end of the xehanort saga but according to nomura, he said kh3 isnt the last of soras story but like..... why not. it should be tbh

kh would be more accessible if they just modeled it more after ff i think. it doesnt need to be dark or mature or anything but if they handled the crossover thing better i think a lot more people would be down for this series (even w the complicated plot)

speaking of, they have to clear up a million plot holes in kh3. was sora the only chosen one and then the keyblade just required more people later on? never explained. how can roxas be “saved” when sora is alive? makes no sense, based on everything dictated in kh2 and days

mickey should not be one of the 7. his role shouldve stayed super limited and mysterious like it was in kh1. his inclusion as a major character in kh2 and onward is..... awful lol. 

they shouldve introduced a new original character as one of the 7 and tied in khux at the same time (we know time travel is do-able bc idk young nort was able to do that)

i fully know this would make the plot more wild but if we tie in an original character from daybreak town, it would come full circle and make khux like, idk, worth it

i want the FORETELLERS TO COME BACK AND BE IMPORTANT TO KH3

also i need an explanation for why larxene and marluxia cant wield keyblades when they are nobodies of keyblade wielders..... like thats why roxas was unique right so... why squeenix

overall i think khux was a huge mistake but its so fun to play that i almost dont care anymore lmfao

aqua better be saved or im throwing the whole game in the trash lol

AQUA KAIRI BONDING MOMENTS TOO OH MY GOD

i want many more cutscenes explaining all the drama happening between ansem the wise and xehanort and the other apprentices. what was the lead up to xehanort going from seeing AtW as a father figure to then betraying him and stealing his research and identity? like throw me a bone here that shits interesting!!!!

pls no more drive form grinding for upgrades just to reach treasures and collectables (see: kh2.5 and the stickers, and the cavern of remembrance)

let me be clear, i love hidden dungeons that are challenging. just let me rely on leveling my base stats over relying on my drive form upgrades and abilities to finish these dungeons

mad that everyone got cool new outfits (except kairi sweet girl im so sorry they made u look younger than u did in the first game i hate it. u deserved better baby) but lea. lea is still in the black org coat and there better be an explanation for that at the very least (or they just did trailers w him in the black coat and he does get an outfit that they didnt want to spoil??? i highly doubt this but i can hope)

i caved in and watched the leaked kh3 intro and a few things: 1) it really doesnt spoil that much and if u want to watch it but ur scared, literally dont be its fine. 2) its good, but squeenix has REALLY lost its touch w intro movies nowadays. they cram every second w symbolism and they dont take their time to just.... show us something good. like i couldnt blink at all during this intro lmfao. its a little annoying but despite all that, its alright. 3) the first minute of face my fears is CHILLING, WIG-SNATCHING, LIKE UTADA IS A LYRICAL AND MUSICAL GENIUS, but then the rest of the song is objectively awful im sorry its true and im gonna say it

last hot take: i usually hate remasters and re-releases, but im glad squeenix released all the kh games on one platform eventually. that being said, kh1.5 and kh2.5 dont have shit on the original ps2 titles. i completely realize i sound like a bitter old man but i dont care, the original numbered titles are better on ps2.

KETTLE KATCHERZ FEEL FREE TO READ

under a read more due to length oops

suddenly overcome with love for my players. its a constant emotion but im feeling it so big right now. 

theyre just so invested in the world! and their characters! and theyre so kind!?! truly i think dnd brings out the best in people.

i gave them some kenku that are having trouble integrating with a community because of the language barrier and now my players are out of game diving into esl education to make a communication book to help them get basic ideas across.

it is an ongoing joke that they adopt every npc i give them and its not much of a joke bc no lie i think there are just as many npcs who travel with the party as there are actual pcs. actually i just counted there are exactly as many party npcs as there are pcs. three of those npcs are kind of just one npc who at one point shared a consciousness but are now separate(-ish) beings and one of those npcs is just a small horde of dust bunnies that occasionally either makes or cleans up messes so you could argue the numbers dont actually line up but it is still an absurd number of npcs to have adopted. i have to plan reasons npcs cant or dont want to go on adventures as one of the first character points i make otherwise their party would be triple its size. i am constantly forgetting how many npcs they have with them at all times but they Dont forget and make points to include them in conversations and decision making.

i just think dnd brings out the best in people!!!

also i lowkey hate making maps but maps are important for understanding the world so iv been doing research and shit and trying to get better at it but! my players literally help with that? not just in making it fun and rewarding but like literally help with the task of it? 

as in we just came from a city that one of my players spent a few years at so he drew a map of the city and wrote me out a Huge world building document about the city and its culture and like, climate and neighborhoods and what was important to his character while living there and everything! and another player gave me a six page document that included maps about the territory their character grew up in like, almost at the very beginning of our campaign! i havn’t even had a chance to use any of that information yet because they come from a very far away place! they dont care they Had Fun making me this big old document! and now we’re visiting a player’s childhood home and They’ve offered to make the map for the area! that would be three whole maps all player made!!! 

theyre just so invested and make things so easy on me!!! it is so easy to dm a group that is constantly focused on Working With the world and moving their characters forward!

and its a super homebrewed campaign partially bc i honestly think thats not only more fun but how dnd is Meant to be played, with some creativity and making shit up on the spot, but also my players are so good!!! about shit being homebrew!!! when something comes up we dont know the rules for or which rules dont exist for we work together to decide what happens!!! if someone knows a rule i dont they let me know and i can ask them what they think happens given the rules that do apply and we make decisions together on how it works with a focus on what makes the most compelling story! 

its just so truly OUR game!!! my beloved comrades!!!

Also like, its been off and on and we’ve taken breaks but we’ve been playing since March 2019? and people have added and left and like i said we’ve had to take breaks but in the end this is not a campaign i can imagine not being in anymore. i cannot imagine this campaign ending just because, like, there’s just so many of them who are so invested!!! and Im so invested! to be honest this campaign is one of the most fun and rewarding things in my life and one of my favorite things about it is how confident i am that it is going to be a constant in my life for a long time. like im really able to just Revel in this campaign and sink hours of work into weird bullshit and plan out arcs and enemies and friends and plot hooks and aesthetic bullshit i dont expect our party to meet for Quite a while because i just! i have no fear that this is going to end!

One of my players got a symbol from our campaign tattooed onto their flesh body? art that i made for dungeons and dragons? it will be on their human body for the rest of their life? and another got a tattoo that (partially) represents what this campaign means to them? another has told me they would love to get a campaign related tattoo with me someday? there is a tattoo in game that binds (most of) the pcs to each other and there has been talk about us getting that tattoo together?

i cannot think about this for too long or i go insane. i made some shapes on canva and spent the whole time wishing i had ms paint because ms paint is my level of art and these are designs that are being added to bodies because we have collectively installed so much emotion and meaning into them. 

i am losin gmy mind.

and like, iv already sunk lowkey a kind of unreasonable amount of time (esp for someone who just went back to school and has homework!) into making my kenku soundboard and mixtape but its been such a passion project already and the whole time iv been working on it iv had Zero fear of the reception because i Know and Trust that my players will think my first attempt at using garageband is sick as hell even if its kind of not because they are just crazy supportive and love our world like i cant even really call it my world its truly Our world and! we all love and contribute to it!!!???!!!

I just love my party so much!!!

i just!!! truly think!!! dnd brings out the best in people!!!

at the end of every session we do a rose/bud/thorn (thing we liked/thing we’re looking forward to/thing that could be improved or issue wed like to bring up) to check in with how the session went!!! we discuss things we didnt like and how wed change them!!! 

they challenge me Constantly not just in pushing my capabilities as a growing dm but they also speak up and challenge my decisions when they disagree! 

i jsut cannot get over how truly we are Working Together in all aspects to make this campaign what it is. 

i have a tendency to move dnd at a crawling pace where every hour of every day is meticulously role played. and they told me they didnt like that and now we work together to make things move faster! and it doesnt always work and we still dont move that fast but weve brainstormed several options and tried a few new things to make it easier for me to go faster!

PROBLEM SOLVING INSIDE AND OUTSIDE OF GAME

dnd! brings out! the best in people!

and also also also theres like, Multiple players who really hate using technology and sometimes esp video chatting. and most sessions currently people’s thorns have been tech issues/being on video. but wer still all (mostly) show up every session! we still submit to the mortifying ordeal of being seen/heard on discord!

some of my players have an accented character voice and i love them So So So Much for this and it makes me feel confident and comfortable enough to try my best at (when i remember to) doing character voices for npcs but we are not critical role and we are certainly not voice actors so none of our voices are very good or consistent! and my players with accents get self conscious about this pretty often but like!!! they are TRYING!!! they are GIVING IT THEIR ALL!!!

what more could anyone possibly ask of them?

multiple players have come to me concerned and looking for advice/help because they dont think theyre very good at role play/staying in character. we’ve got people who so dedicated theyre stepping Way outside their comfort zone and then turning around and apologizing for how far a walk it was??? they are giving it Their All and their biggest concern is how to give MORE?

i had a moment last session where i realized that our current arc is literally exactly the kind of arc i Dreamed of dming when i was first starting out. like, not to toot my own horn but its legitimately open world and they have a mystery that they need to get to know a small community and find out what everyone knows and put all the pieces together to figure out what happened. i used to scroll through dm forums Endlessly looking for Any advice on how to plan a good mystery and i didnt think id ever be at the point where i could actually pull a mystery Or an open world arc off. but like, here i am. its going pretty great so far.

also this current arc is one of the First i ever thought up for this campaign. obviously it’s changed and evolved a lot since original concept but like. just a Bit emotional over, ya know. finally getting here and having it be even better than i imagined. how far we’ve all come, in and out of game. the fact that my players had so much fun talking to my prize npc kenku whom i have been developing for literal years now and adore beyond reason that they are learning about esl studies to help them integrate into the coven they are trying to join.

DND! BRINGS OUT! THE BEST IN PEOPLE!

COLLABORATIVE STORYTELLING. WORKING TOGETHER TO CRAFT MEANING. LOVING AND SUPPORTING EACH OTHERS CREATIVE DECISIONS. MAKING DICK JOKES.

THIS IS WHAT DND IS ALL ABOUT BABY. 

im living the dream, the climax of my life 7/25/17

today was amazing. so liz slept over and it was the best. we vibe so well together and she is super pure and influential and real and just in my eyes a perfect human being to be around with. she likes jazz she plays instruments she paints- she’s very in tune with herself and everything around her. she painted me a beautiful portrait and love on a canvas i gave her. it is amazing. she wanted me to share my stories about my spiritual interactions with carlo so she can record it and she remembered i mentioned that there is a song i imagine playing when i see him in a field of grass, and she added the notes to it in the painting . she is just so great and influential and we experience and think much of the same things. i like being around her. lots of good music and laughing. she liked the songs i showed her. then i went home and was feeling poopy until i went outside and decided to write how i was feeling. i put anxiety and lack of confidence and just negativity then just didnt feel any better  so i decided to meditate and i did for like 20 /30 min. i went from lotus to just hanging my headd down while i sat. it helped tremendously . i felt three billion times better. i felt like my parents were the sun and moon. creation of all creation. they are the creators of every single thing in my life. they created me thus creating everything around and within me. my mom also symbolized the sun for me, and just recently i felt my father as the moon. i shared that with them and shared a lot with my mother. just after meditating i was so high on life. i thought about who this is it this is now i am experiencing this now and everything is good and life is good and this is real this is what I'm seeing now this is real life this where I'm at just realizing this is where i am right now everything here makes sense and is normal it was like i was reborned actually in a way bc everything seemed brand new and i was confused to what i was seeing!! it makes so much sense tho bc i was just in my head and i cleared it and now I'm seeing everything as it is and realizing I'm ever so grateful for this consciousness. sundown. sunset. i shared with my dad the day i missed my flight that i like sunsets, i feel my brother the most during them.and he shared it with my mom. he invited me to go inside and see a movie with them but i shared to him i like the nature and stuff more and it helps me feel better and that sunset just has a huge impact for me and my soul feels the need to be outside during its energy of the sun passing. and today when i was in my tummy mood or not a clear head i went outside and was just writing down how i felt and he saw and asked if i wanted to spend time with them inside and i was upset so i gave a little sass and said i cant the tv makes me depressed and it just drains my energy and i feel unproductive but I'm glad everything happened bc it happened for a reason and i feel great now and after that time to myself i was the best i can be with my parents i watched tv with them and cracked jokes and just had a lot of fun and t was all pure and sam sent me a song and it was amazing i felt the singers emotion and i just felt every emotion i felt throughout the song. everything just how it was. i was fast with my thoughts and feelings.and i helped my mom with cleaning and it was great- we shared alot and she said she was thinking of me today and is aid oo like what and she said what kind of advice to give me before i leave and said that she just wanted to tell me to keep doing what I'm doing with handling my emotions and being smart and spiritual and she tied that together bc she said she was thinking about all my growth and everything and also gave me the advice to do research in everything i want to do and to do it like she noticed i had a hard time sticking to being vegan and so she said to do research and find some motivation for it and to do that everything i wanna do she is just the best and sweetest i love her so much i love us literally i felt so pure with her after meditating like when i sat next to her on the couch i was kissing all over her face her cheeks her nose and her forehead a bunch of times it wa amazing I'm going to miss her so much but we shared how people become closer to their siblings after carlos funeral like gabe and koen and liz and manuel she opened that up to me but it was good after meditating i felt exactly aligned and myself and it was just enlightening and awakening moment then i told them about how i felt good bc i was not confident in most things especially planning things bc I'm anxious about not ppl having a good time bc it would b my fault but i finally did it and all my freidsn are going to pinballz and i picked up brendon and showed him so many cool songs like the mosquito by the doors and a lot of other cool ones and he said u know so many cool songs and how do u know so many and i told him that when i find an artist and song i like i just listen to their other albums and it grows and we got to pinball and it was just fun for me and him we got quarters and did the quarter machines bc the electronics were too expensive and it was so so so fun we played like 9 rounds and i lost each one but it was so fun and i felt so great playing an old 80s arcade machines game it was so simple there was ike 3 buttons i defiantly want to go back and play on those old pinball and 90s machine games t was so fun and then john kiersten sam and brennon showed up and sam looked so damn good god damn i couldn't take it in he wore khakis and a black shirt and vans and his hair looked good and his face looked beautiful as always and i tried not to express or show any of that in person so i kept my distance but overall it wa so funny with everyone and we went to kerbey lane a 24 hour diner and nit was so fun jorge was there too it was a grand ol time and when i was saying by to everyone it was so beautiful john picked me up two times and we hugged like four times and in front of his girlfriend it is so cool he can do that and brennon gave me a nice one and jorge smacked my ass after which i totally hated and took in account that he did that and to realize it made me uncomfortable and omg me and sams good bye will always be my favorite we hugged and he just said to let him know when I'm in town again and that we have dos ee each other again and it wa sa nice hug and i got in my car and he was getting in the seat and we looked at each other and i did the like post up pose like square lets fight and he got out of his seat in the car and opened my car door and i said okay lets do this and slapped his arm and he grabbed my head and gave me a long noogie and it made me laugh so much and when he was done i gave him a huge giant wedgie it was so funny he didnt seem too uncomfortable but god damn i pulled that underwear so high-up literally like half way up his torso and he texted me later saying he lost his watch trying to untuck the wedgie haha i love sam i just hope one day our time will come and we can be intimate together and i can wake up in a bed we slept together in and wake up to him playing piano and I'm naked in his bed like i just want to be so sweet and lovey to him he makes my legs when he looks at me and he just creates and turns something on in me and i like it i like his being he is a beautiful creation i want to treat him so well i want to paint for him i want to shower him in kisses and gifts and loves and songs i want to inspire him like he inspires me all these love songs i sing for him . i want to be able to share one day all the love songs i sing to him- they're so important , each one. they all bring me back to him. driving back i go to jaremys with brendon and we see élena and kevin aka my favorite ppl ever and elena opens the door and i see kevin and run to him and give him a big hug then elena sees us and i give her one but its unusual i went to him like out of my way to hug him but i hope he feels that like my love for him bc its so special and pure and just love like i love them so much and we all sat around the wooden floored apartment and sat on these psychedelic 70s couches and started tossing out of the air dumb jokes and elena looks at kevin and says you're just a totally different person with mary and laughs and says she's the same way bc we spent a few days togeth then she hung out with her friend and kept saying dumb jokes and they just didnt get it and she had to explain that she was with me and i got that too literally being with them i  feel more intone and grounded to myself bc I'm just my dumb self which makes me the same to other people i literally love my life and everyone here and now i have a flight in like 8 hours to colorado to see alea and road trip to san francisco and get dropped off and continue my life at the ashram and as a yogi and a farmer and pure and back to mediating and yoga and I'm going to practice so much music and have a kick ass job being ana astronomy tutor i am ever so grateful for this summer its been the best and i really hope i can feel this way again when i get back with the same exact people

semester 3.1 done!

god dang i survived it somehow sorry for late post, it took like a month to recover from the semester

i signed up for too much! as usual! i tried to do like hkn and tbp stuff on top of social chair and everything was a LOTTTTTT omgGGGGGG also taking all project classes seemed like a great idea bc i wouldnt have finals but um i really slept like <20 hours in 4 consecutive nights in the last week of the semester oof

anyways, let’s do classes (numbered is waht i thought would happen in the beginning, non-numbered is what i think at the end)

6.031 - software construction - uhhhhhh hahahahaha ok i already spent a lot of time on this class just yesterday and it was literally the first day of classes hahahahaahha oh no no, but actually kidding aside I think it’s going to be a very interesting class and the professor seemed really energetic, which is very important. Everyone says this class is a lot of work, and I can definitely agree, but also really valuable and good content, and I also am excited for that

post-semester: ok ahahhaha i did spend a lot of time on this class like erring on almost 40 hours a week at some points. it was deifnitely a very cool class though, and i can see myself taking a lot of those ideas out into the wild. but damn 40 hours a week, i really did not sleep this semester lmao

6.047 comp bio - the bio kid in me is excited, and the comp kid in me is scared of not knowing enough of the bio~~~~~~ It’s also my first upper level elective and it has an open research project as half of the class, so I’m guessing I’m gonna be the computational of the computation biology project in this case

post-semester: ok so there were a lot of cool concepts but the class also went at 1029382103x speed at all times. all of linear algebra was covered in half a class. all of it!!11!! the open research project ended up as the 4 consecutive nights of no sleep at the end of which i couldnt figure out what day it was, but alls well that ends well i suppose. for a first advanced elective, this class was a ride, but also a really great experience. i am, once again, reassured that it is literally possible to do any task in any amount of time.

21m.302 - harmony and counterpoint II - ok my professor seems really fun too! I’m excited. Also slightly concerned because I realized my 301 prof didnt really teach much relevant content in an organized format, and i was like “oh it’ll be fine” but now I’m like “o.O” is it going to be fine~~ But I’m super excited to get out of the I V I V I life and move to some more interesting compositions. It’s what I’m here for!

post-semester: it was fine! my professor was also really great. The class ended up being slightly more work than i thought it would be, but it involved a lot of composition writing, which is exactly what i signed up for. i ended up with a >120 measure long theme and variations string quartet (with nEoPolItaN chords), which is far more involved than the 16 bar theme i had last year. i’m thinking about taking some electronic music comp classes next semester (if i get in!)

GEL - so MIT has a leadership in engineering program, and I signed up for it, so the rest of my time will be spent in classes for this, which are mostly projects classes. I’m not too sure what’s happening for this because we just got the email to sign up for sections this morning, but it might be great, it might not be, but most of my friends have said it’s a good time.

post-semester: so this ended up being 3 parts - a design course, a theory course and a lab course. i ended up dropping the design course because i missed like half the classes and found way too many time conflicts between meetings the night lecture time. the theory and lab components were more interesting as well, so i finished those and ended up actually getting something out of it. We learned about negotiation, leadership styles, and communication techniques to name a few topics. but whoops looks like im dropping the program now because i’ve decided i’m gonna prioritize my health next semester!

so turns out i was doing pretty well using my time well and not sleeping super late up until a few imposter syndrome incidents and other bad spots in the semester. somehow i ended up not having much free time at all for relaxing/working out, so i’ve decided to drop a few things, starting with the GEL program. i had considering LA’ing next semester, but have decided against it. I’ll no longer have recruiting chaos, which saves me >4 hours a week. i’m hoping to use the time for sleep and working out mostly. hope for the best!