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Weekly Reflection and Crystal Cleansing Ritual

Introduction In the serene stillness of January, as we embrace the new year with anticipation and hope, Zwenaelle Crystal invites you to partake in a sacred tradition of reflection and rejuvenation. This week, we culminate our journey of personal growth with a focus on renewal, using our beloved crystalline allies. Join us as we explore the transformative power of crystals through personal…

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Ditch the Resolutions: 2024 is the Year of Fun

Welcome to the year where we say goodbye to the cliché resolutions and hello to a commitment to fun! Why make lists of things to change when you can make time for enjoyment? Let’s dive into the world of fun with a laid-back attitude and discover 25 awesome activities, ranging from free to splurge-worthy, that will turn your year into an unforgettable adventure. The past few years have SUCKED! I…

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Dear future self... March 6, 2023

I was really excited to write this weekend and then I woke up quite grumpy today. I was really tired, I feel like I haven’t been sleeping the best even though I slept in Sunday morning as we went to the later Church Service. Work today pissed me off. Rod is driving me nuts, payables is overbearing and after a frustrating day Dillion just topped it all off. The ignorance he has is so frustrating. He knew exactly what he was getting into when he signed the lease, we all agreed that regardless, we were all splitting the utilities 3 ways. It didn’t matter if I were to go on holiday for 2 or more weeks, or he be working for two weeks, or Cody be house sitting for two weeks. You pay or portion because everything is split. Now to come back and tell me that it’s not fair that he’s paying for March utilities when he’s the one that is breaking the lease, he’s the one who put us in a position of having to find someone ASAP which fine, yes someone’s taking over when he said he’d be out by but it’s not my problem that he’s not coming back this month to “use the utilities”. For fuck sakes we signed an agreement, everything split. If eh wanted to be out by Febraury 28th he should have just arranged that and had Bob move in March 1st so he was paying. But for him to literally throw a fit that it’s not right that he’s paying and then go on to say how he’s paying more rent... like are you fucking kidding me? Because you have the master and ensuite, no shit you pay more when you wanted it that way. Not to mention that I pay the pet fee and I clean up after his fucking dog, I look after his dog when he leaves her for over 24 hours at a time, I clean up after him, I always arrange for his damn room to be clean before he’s home, I clean his fucking bed sheets, I clean the mess he leaves every single time he’s here, all I do is fucking help this shit head. Pick him up from the airport when he didn’t get on his flight, help him with every thing he constantly begs for help on, fills out his fire arms renewal forms, pick up his mail like for fuck sake what the fuck do I get in return? I get nothing. I maybe get taken out for Sushi for all the shit that I do for him yet he does absolute fuck all for me in return ever, for anything. He’s the most self centered man. This last time around, Cody really explained things better on how he is and no one is ever impressed with him. All he does is look out for himself and fuck everyone else around him. No offence but no fucking wonder he has no friends, because all he does is take. & then he has the audacity to be an asshole and say cry me a river. Fuck that. Fuck that friendship it’s over. I was so angry when I got home today. I’ve cooled down now but seriously I want nothing to do with him. I don’t care, I’m done. I’m literally done helping that kid, he doesn’t deserve all the shit that I do for him.  Anyways. Rant over. The rest of last week was good. I finally had a few down days where I just watched shows and stuck to myself. I needed that time. The last few weeks have been so insanely busy with back to back things that I felt like any downtime that I had, I just shut down and didn’t want to talk to anyone, just needed space. I feel a bit more refreshed now though. Recap of last week - Wednesday went to Jeremiah’s for a movie night with Steven, Amanda and Christian which was good. Thursday Jeremiah came over with Theo so he could check out the place and feel comfortable. Nova and him played so well, it was so nice to see how quick she took to him so that was really great. Went to a sushi place called Nupo with Sasha & her friend which was really nice. It was a fancy place, food was amazing. It was good company, I enjoy them and we had a good time. Probably not a regular hang out vibe I think but nice to get together every few weeks with her.  Saturday morning I decided to go out to Cochran for a walk and then ended up going out to Canmore for a good part of the day. Nova’s leg has been sore lately and she’s been limping off and on so I didn’t want to push it but she acted like nothing was wrong so I scooted to Canmore because it was so nice out. Went over to Grassi Lakes for once, it was cool cause I stopped to take a photo & a girl was just sitting down staring out & I struck up convo with her. Ended up sitting and chatting with her for probably 15-20 minutes which was really nice and we swapped IG’s as she’s from Toronto but has a big love for the mountains. Saturday night Jeremiah invited me for beers at Marda Loop Brewing with some of his English friends which was also a good night. Had fun and good conversation, good laughs. Sunday went to the late church service, as always it was so good. Worship keeps getting me in the feels. Came home & Jeremiah dropped Theo off for a few hours, took them to the park and they had a lot of fun, they did really well. I know Nova get’s this pack mentality that she has to protect whatever dog she’s with but she also is so much more out going, she actually will go run and follow the dog she’s with and visit with other dogs so it’s nice to see. I do love her more than anything. Went over to Ambers sunday night for a games night. She’s got such a cute place with her BF and I finally got to meet Evee. I love those dogs, they’re so sweet. & love that girl. They made dinner and we played Settlers with her brother & his GF, it was really such a nice night. It was a great week really. I feel like I’ve been having so much more of those now this year and it’s nice. I mean, I got in my head the other night about Jeremiah. After Saturday night I got into thinking & wondering if he’s just inviting me out because he feels bad that I’m watching Theo for nothing & that’s his “return” is inviting me out. Idk. I want to think that’s my anxiety and my lack of confidence. Again I know none of these are dates, I really don’t think he thinks of me like that anyways but saturday night was really just me, him and this english girl & guy so I mean I know he doesn’t have to invite me to any of these things, let alone out side of hanging with Steven because that’s how we originally got to know each other but he has continued inviting me out so it’s nice. I know he has a lot of friends so really it’s just nice to meet new people and slowly build community. Anyways. I’m tired and I have to be up early as Theo’s coming over tomorrow again for the day so it’ll be a busy day. I continue to look forward to this month and next as friendships keep unfolding and as I continue to not turn down opportunity. It’ll be interesting to see where I am in 6 months from now. Glad I have this space for writing. It really does help me gather and let out my thoughts. I remember re-reading last years post and it really was full of emotion. I wrote some frustrated, angry messages about Richardt & men (mostly because their stupid duh) but some sad about missing my brother but had some good happy moments too. It’s nice to be able to write that all out and be able to later reflect on it. Will I feel like I overreacted by next week, a month, 6 months from now with this Dillon thing? Idk. I guess we’ll see, but as of right now that bridge is burned and in my eyes there’s not really any friendship left. Mostly because there wasn’t really much of a friendship before except a one sided giver & taker.

Thus the whale-line folds the whole boat in its complicated coils, twisting and writhing around it in almost every direction. All the oarsmen are involved in its perilous contortions...

Me: Wow, this chapter is actually really interesting

But why say more? All men live enveloped in whale-lines. All are born with halters round their necks; but it is only when caught in the swift, sudden turn of death, that mortals realize the silent, subtle, ever-present perils of life.

Me: *breaks down sobbing*

My idea of an old photograph. A friend from school long lost in time. Using warm filters to try and make the photo look more aged.

Anyway, I hope everyone likes it. I know it isn't all flashy but it doesn't always have to be, right?

Good luck -Rei

It's incredible how Frankenstein immediately presented the difference between two styles of knowledge approach when Victor met his two professors.

With professor Krempe, Victor repeats the same mistake of ignoring his words, just like he did with his father's words. Even if Krempe is in the right as a professor to call out that Victor had spent his childhood studying already disproved knowledge, he forgot an important part of being a teacher. To make your students seek the knowledge themselves after you gave them the basics. Of course it's not professor Krempe's fault that Victor spent three days in his room doing nothing, but I do think that he could have worded his suggestions a little bit better. Just a little bit.

Yet, with professor Waldman Victor finally found the thing that he was yearning for. The validation that even if all of the authors and the knowledge that he spent studying in his little youth could not be applied to modern science, they were still important in this pillar of discovery, and their knowledge was not forgotten.

It was really delightful to read how professor Waldman made Victor fall in love with science again. From what it is described to be an amazing lecture of the history of chemistry, to the suggestions that he gives Victor at the end of the chapter. This professor managed to turn around Victor's disgust of modern science to new curiosity with a stern lecture and a few kind words, a feat that only a good professor can do.

It's remarkable to see what directions can do regarding in how to apply knowledge. And it is also very welcome to hear how we simply can't ignore ancient knowledge just because in the present their discoveries are now obsolete. Yes, all of the authors that Victor read were pseudo science who had no basis in real evidence, and at the same time they were the foundation of chemistry. Professor Waldman understands that without the small ambitions of knowledge of the past, we would not have the feats of the present.

Then he proceeds to give Victor an excellent practice of this knowledge in his laboratory, and gives him a list of books that he needs, while telling him that he can't neglect other branches of science if he wants to achieve his goals. No wonder Victor felt so happy at the end of this chapter, he finally found the direction that he needed so badly to dive into what he calls his future destiny.

There's also an interesting tension in this chapter between the huge geological timescales that come into play when talking about fossils, and the biblical references that are used to describe the whale's age ("antediluvian", "pre-adamite", "Methuselah seems a school-boy"). From what I can tell, Young Earth Creationism wasn't really a thing until the 20th century, so talking about the Tertiary period (66-2.6 million years ago) isn't necessarily in conflict with a Christian worldview, but the continual emphasis on how much older the whale is than even the earliest parts of the Bible seems to imply a sort of dismissal of the biblical view of history as being too limited. Look at this line in particular:

"I am horror-struck at this antemosaic, unsourced existence of the unspeakable terrors of the whale, which, having been before all time, must needs exist after all humane ages are over."

Another way to say "unsourced" might be "uncreated" - this line could be read to imply that even the creation story of Genesis can't capture the whale's full history, as it claims a single starting point for something whose beginnings are beyond human comprehension.

Daily November crying sessions start today

Of modern standers-of-mast-heads we have but a lifeless set; mere stone, iron, and bronze men; who, though well capable of facing out a stiff gale, are still entirely incompetent to the business of singing out upon discovering any strange sight.

i keep saying it but ishmael is so funny!! it’s exactly my humour, and it’s strangely comforting to know that melville could pinpoint it some 170 years ago

..

i'm planning next week's picnic like if one thing goes wrong i'll be publicly beheaded. i'm locked in to such an absurd degree.

Dear future self... February 27, 2023

Last week was actually pretty chill. I think I needed it though from the last few weeks being back to back busy, I needed to just rest. I found i needed more than one day too. I met Jeremiah at the dog park on Tuesday so Nova & Theo could meet, which they did well but it was absolutely freezing out. I hope I can watch Theo though, he’s such a sweet pup. Meliss came over Wednesday and we ordered in and watched Love is Blind. Dillon is now moved out basically, he’s paying for next month rent and coming back for the final things so that’s a change now having someone actually living here full time. It will be an adjustment since I’ve had it pretty good these last 6 months. I was going to go to the adults night on Friday but I ended up deciding not to, I went to steven & Amanda’s instead which was nice. Hung out, played Shrek 2 and worked on a puzzle. I’m thoroughly enjoying puzzles now which is wild. Even a year ago me would never have guessed, but I’m actually feeling a sense of joy when finding pieces and seeing it come together. Odd but I think I might start getting some puzzles once I get a new coffee table and somewhere to set it up. It’s just really relaxing and nice (even though it stimulates the brain) while watching a show. Saturday day I didn’t do much, I went for a good walk and to the park which ended up being an hour & a half and Nova was amazing. She did so well with the small pups and so well with all the dogs. It honestly warms my heart so much when I watch her start to play and when she genuinely is having fun. Then went to Alvin’s Jazz Club Saturday night with Jeremiah for Jason’s birthday. That actually was really great. I feel stupid not dressing up and really wish I had, but overall it was such a fun time. Even though there was two tables, the two girls were super nice that we sat with and then when the other couple came whom Amanda grew up with, I connected with them so well, he’s a Pastor. It was honestly just so good and felt so amazing to be around Christian people and my age. Not like the young adults night where I felt like they were a bit younger but this group was so good and so genuine. Jason was fun and it was nice to be part of his birthday celebration. I had some good chats with him too about relationships and life and freedom. I mean, I’m not sure how Jeremiah felt. I absolutely did not take it as a date, his roommate was supposed to come with us as well but she backed out last minute. Idk, it’s funny how Steven & Amanda both asked like “are you sure it’s not a date” & that he tends to like girls easily but has high standards that he never dates. I mean, honestly I felt honored that he asked me to join when it was a tight group going, so it was really sweet but I definitely don’t take that out of context, I know I wasn’t acting as a date for it. It was just genuinely a good evening. I felt like I kept the conversation going with him, I mean I enjoy his company for sure, he’s a really nice guy & I’ll be honest his Aussie accent gets me but I’m happy where I’m at. As much as I get those missings for having a companion & partner, I really don’t want to date. I’ve literally never been happier in my life & more content. & challenged of course. So if God were to bring someone in my life I honestly would just hope that he just brings them as a good friend that I can build into & later have that blossom into something. I don’t feel as though I want to go on any dating apps again. I really would love to build friendships & then have something come of that in Gods timing. Sunday was good, church was really great. We’re going to Genesis and man does the pastor ever just break it down so well. I listened to last weeks session that I missed & I really didn’t fully understand why God wiped the earth with the flood & Noahs Ark & he just explained it so well that I actually have an understanding now. It’s amazing. & worship just moves me every time. I pull back tears every time, I just really feel that’s where I connect with God the most & sometimes I just can’t even comprehend the love he has for me when  When I listen to the lyrics. It’s beautiful & scary all at the same time. Mom sat us by the one guy I’ve been eyeing up in church the last few weeks haha. Always mom being the connector… she’s funny. I was way too shy & he was talking to the person beside him so I didn’t get a chance to even introduce myself but man he’s a babe & I think I could see him fighting off tears through the message so I mean that’s great. Maybe in a couple weeks or months from now or next year when I read back on this in a year from now I’ll be laughing but he’s tall, has a curly head of hair, nice smile & eyes, great style & he had a beard before but he shaved it this time. Last night (still being Sunday) I went to a Cake Night at Brewhouse where I decorated a cake, comic style. It was really fun, I definitely would have had more fun if I was with someone but I’m happy that I had the confidence to still go alone & i mingled a bit with the table beside me. Im happy to be still going to things even if it’s alone & being confident in that. I asked Amanda if she’ll come with me to one because I think she would & I think it would really be a great bonding time for both of us so I hope I can plan that soon with her. I really do want to build with her on a more personal & deeper level. Anyways, I’m tired & feel like I’ve said everything. Works been good but I’m getting a little nervous on workload on both ends. I’ve switched it up so I’m in okotoks Monday, Wednesday & Fridays as I have meetings to be in with Ed tues, wed, thurs but with Patrick being laid off and us taking on the whole profile of founders, I’m nervous. I know Ed reassured me that I’m doing so much & he pays me for the peace of mind, but I feel like there’s so much more to do and that’s being missed & I worry I’m not doing enough. I would be really bored if I didn’t still help Danny out. Like today I got two messages from Ed all day, one being a sign in code so I could do something on the GSU website & one email, that’s it. Which I mean I’m not complaining I just wish I was more help or if I had enough knowledge to unload more work for him. Anyways, we’ll see how it goes over time. I really do love what I do & I am really happy I made this choice. Definitely life changing even though people on the outside still look & see me working two jobs hahah. Doesn’t look like much has changed but my mindset is absolutely changed. Yes I still have frustrating days in okotoks, but I leave it there. I come home & I forget I even work there. I don’t think about anything, I don’t stress about the payables, it’s not my job. I actually have that huge weight off my shoulders, it’s 100% a different mindset & feeling of where I’m at with work. Im really happy.

i'll never get over the bit where sidurgu says he asked why fray was also learning conjury and he said something to the effect of "when you are falling apart who will be there to make you whole again"