#we would start from scratch!!
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after two years i finally draw the favorite
#my art#still learning honestly. idk how to explain it but some medias youre so fixated on and obsessed with u instantly want to draw everyone#for me dunmeshi has always been the opposite. series and characters i enjoy sm i cannot bring myself to pick up a pencil#for some reason. it got a lot worse once the anime started airing idk. simply forcing myself to get some of my energy out. in a way#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#thistle#dunmeshi thistle#thistle dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#>_< series i was into since late 2021. yet u wouldnt know that unless u follow my side twitter account. sowwy ig#i do this with a lot of franchises honestly. cannot bring myself to draw even if i think abt the characters constantly. ie skip to loafer#u will nvr catch me calling this guy sissel sorry. save that name for Mr. Ghost Trick. another thing i. also. dnt talk abt. which i adore#i need to get better at talking abt and expressing myself for the things that i enjoy. ive been wanting to draw laios for a good#while too but im scared. for some reason. u-u should nvr let a white man do that to me honestly.#for now i'll thistle tho. maybe we will get kabru namari or mithrun next from me >_< i have to talk myself into it#i think the closest way i can explain why i cannot bring myself to draw for some series is that i dnt want to mess up somehow#like 'ilu so much [character] what if i cnt draw u the way u deserve even tho i love u sm what if its not enough.' <- leaves it to sm1 else#tbh [scratches head] i prefer the version with less coloring ^-^ but i realize the one thats more colored would get more eyes on it... hm
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hey does anyone wanna bounce bellhands/they all went to pirate school together ideas with me? im trying to figure out the missing pieces of my personal set up and it might be easier with someone else!
#if youve never spoken to me before please be aware i will type a whole paragraph in response to one (1) sentence#but if ur down for that! please.#ive got like. the start and the end and a couple bits in the middle fleshed out but it doesn't f l o w#this is the problem with trying to condense more than a years of ideas into one cohesive narrative. i usually swap and change things as#and when it suits so im like. i don't know what i need in this#its just for my silly little tumblr post but#i would appreciate it <3#i can send you what ive wrote and we can go from there or we can start from scratch bouncing ideas or u can just ask me questions#or something to help fill in gaps idk whatever works for u! what ive got is like. a fuckin mess honestly its ramblings and half finished#thoughts and just. its. a complete state and thats not even touching on whats missing (like. anything that matters in the middle basically)#nyxtalks#ofmd#bellhands#sam bellamy#izzy hands#israel hands#if you're unfamiliar with the concept: its Hornigold era stuff; jack + ed + izzy + sam all sailing under him and learning the ropes togethe#im not trying to go into too many details; just the underlying structure that is what I think of when i think of them#its probably not something anyone else cares about but i think i need it for some of the more fun 'what if Izzy went with sam' posts#i realised if i wanted to say what the divergence point was i Needed to establish all this lol#'oh yeah its when izzy chooses sam after the mutiny despite their argument' NYX WHAT ARGUMENT. you need to tell us what u mean
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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman
part one | part two
#toronto maple leafs#HELLO EVERYBODY THIS HAS BEEN MONTHS!!! MONTHS IN THE MAKING BECAUSE i AM UNHINGED AND NEEDED THE PRECISE PICTURES THAT I KNEW I WOULD GET#like. seventy five percent of this has been done since the first time i posted this and while it has gotten better with time because#my narratives simply got more complex and there's so much of this that is For Me but don't worry i will explain but aLSO goddamn mitch coul#you have gotten married any later in the year. also willy you truly disappointed me by not getting an absurd haircut this year (now that#i've said this he's going to debut it on instagram like. tomorrow. but anyway that meant y'all got to enjoy my neuroses of#Loving Tyler Bertuzzi who is a goddamn leaf. the joys of having to wait to post this (was not a leaf at the time i started it) and anyway i#have at length i think had the breakdown about tyler in pigtails girl dad & how i got a bob & then tyler copied me which was rude. that's m#gender. ANYWAY starting from the top we got sheldon keefe documentation which was really just the personal decision that i wanted all the#coaching staff to be the markers in the poem/the bold & also at the TIME keefe hadn't re-signed &we thought it might be everybody out w/kyl#anyway the title of the scrap of an old lover's flannel is literally 'u think this is about sheldon & kyle NO it's about timothy liljegren'#bc. liljegren was on the marlies winning cup team & has had a contentious relationship w/keefe ever since & was healthy scratched in playof#& the narrative is sooooo. also at one point for the ryan o'reilly i was going to edit the stlb out of his grandma's shirt or cover it w/th#childhood dreams line but THEN i found the gio snapped stick one which was too perfect for 'crumbling copy' the ryan o'reilly To Me is so.#ur insane in ways u did not think for that one. like. how soft her hands were. his grandma you guys. he grew up a leafs fan. if he ever get#to lift the cup with her again i will lose my shit. the cup run a movie i remember nothing--OKAY the spezz one i knew i needed him stresse#but also i believe in the spezz/kyle narrative so. it comes up later don't worry ALSO SPEZZ FOLLOWING HIM TO PITT CAME AFTER I MADE THIS bu#the muzz tea one makes me a little sensy bc muzz was out with an injury for most of this season & it was a really scary spinal one & so yea#& then the simmer one just straight up makes me cry bc i love him so much & the work that he does for anti-racism in hockey means so much &#if you have that video open & watch it i promise you will cry i do every time it's so beautiful he had to be on comforted by beauty & sammy#boy is on the a man who doesn't know me because EYE remember the caps goalie tandems. baby lilya. the mo one is a little funny bc it is#solely due to wade's thread about mo rielly the coal miner homestead husband. that's why he moves to omaha also i think it suits him (quiet#OK NOW OLD MEN IN LOVE NARRATIVE this one's in contention for my fave bc it's spezz coping w/retirement fundamental meaningless of existenc#u heard abt tyler already that's for me the minchy picture was just too good i had found it earlier & i spent SO LONG looking for an empty#leafs rink picture for bathtub i have some cool construction photos but i wanted the melting ice ones (thought about tahoe lol) & the sprin#one i manip'd a lot bc i needed a spring picture bc playoffs clinch in spring & that one fit so coincidentally perfect bc it's 7 straight#seasons 7 guys so. :) & i KNEW i swore to god they did more milk advertising i knew i was gonna do this one from the minute i saw the poem#the milk patch & it took a hot minute BUT I FOUND THIS ONE this one's for funsies. AND THE PIC I WAITED SO FUCKING LONG FOR this is actuall#from kerf's wedding but i was like i know on god mitch is getting married this summer & that's about to be the drunkest shenanigans wedding#i'm waiting for the pics. & then i was BLESSED with this one which is beautiful & perfect & LOOK AT THEM. anyway the last one is bc
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My fear is that DC makes Bernard such a beautiful well written character that mixs his old asshole personality with his newer tamed personality and people start actively liking him because he is own person with his own hopes and dreams and then fans want more of this Bernard only to be met with a shitty shell of a character and starting back at square one by forcing him just to be Tim’s love interest
this too actually
#a well written bernard... but at what cost?#sometimes the more popular a character is.... the worse they get treated by both the fandom and the editors#bernard getting popular and then the fandom flattens him into one personality trait? im literally quaking#a good writer other than fitzmartin gets their hands on bernard and we finally get a well rounded character?#and then more people start coming for bernard#and then they see this and they fuckin idk reboot the universe again#and now we have to start over from scratch#if real life had fear toxin i think that's what i would see#he's already only 'tim's bf' to them#every bit of character info on him is like inferred#or from like throwaway lines#like when he's patching up tim in tdr3 and tim goes 'but you're okay now right?' and bear says 'some days'#or the holy grail of bear info tdr7#and then a little bit of urban legends 4#all of the rr run from way back then is like a good starting point for bear but like he was 16 and the worst thing that ever happened to hi#at that point was his parents being shitty and when we meet him again he's like 20/21#so i don't really enjoy it when people say he's lost his flavor or whatever because he's clearly been through some shit in the last 5 years#but like tdr7 when bear tell tim to 'have a great piss!' that was fitzmartin briefly being possesed by the real bernard dowd for a sec#these tags are getting too long#dc#bernard dowd#tim drake#timbern#asks
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#;ooc#ooc#X.IANZHOU L.UOFU DONE; P.ENACONY NOW#/havent been writting at all bc rl stuff and speedrunning s.tar r.ail#SO I CAN MEET- 3 other beloveds;#also bc im gonna make a h.sr b.log so im absorbing all (<- i say this as i barely understand the gist)#;delete later#considering i started like;; last week; i think i got here pretty fast-ish#or well i dunno how it would be in comparison to starting from scratch on g.enshin; last stop should be like;; i.nazuma in terms of#timeline? like if u only concentrated on world story quests only#but also my god when i think back; someone would have to lit pay me to replay all of g.enshin's story#SO MANY TIMES I HAD TO LOOK UP ON YT HOW TO SOLVE PUZZLES AAAAAA#im having spiritual DMG whenever i think about it#here it was much more mmmmm; easy to flow- like it didnt feel so tedious#like i didnt need to do 48975489758 character and npc quests to advance the story#so im so glad about that; and the auto farm option + skip already seen dialogues after losing and retrying again is -chef kiss-#whenever i remember that story with the kitsune lady in i.nazuma i get chills i didn't like it at all i caNNOT#i remember how much i struggled fighting that s.amurai my characters could NOT beat him#or the w.atatsumi island one that we lit never got to see again; or the one with the smoke island GODDDDDD#AND HERE THEY GAVE US... trial j.ing yuan god bless
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1930′s au. Placed into deep cover as a married couple by rival revolutionary cells, agitators Cassian Andor and Jyn Erso use their central Texas farmhouse as a waystation for the rebellion, running messages, sheltering fugitives, and employing their particular pasts to secure funding. Yet trouble brews that may shake the duo from their carefully constructed veneer of normalcy, not least Cassian’s increasing interest in stepping out from the shadows to recruit local work manager Kino Loy into the rebellion itself.
heavily inspired by damnation (2016) and fx’s the americans
#rebelcaptain#rebelcaptain au#cassian andor#jyn erso#look i would want to do sooo much reading here SO SO fucking much especially with applying many of the themes andor explores to the real wor#ld. but this idea. it lives in my mind#i think the whole idea here of like saw and luthen have placed them to be as /undercover/ as possible don't attract notice#but cassian's interested in locals in town like kino and shara baez being potential labour leaders and it's like. maybe we can't hide foreve#r and the local community is where revolution begins?#also important to me this draws heavilyyyy from fx the americans but unlike that: jyn and cassian really like each other#saw and luthen just set them up but these guys? unexpectedly get along great#i do think there's a long form tension plot here with the two of them have at least a few children and luthen being like. time to start#recruiting into the rebellion! time to start making them agents for this cause and the greater tension that causes#very paige jennings vibes you know#anyway. many thoughts on nationality immigration parenthood and diaspora that the americans fx had and i kind of want to...#scratch at
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patron saint of being hot
and a lot of skill and really interesting anecdotes about your life and having professors that give me second hand anxiety bc they seem kinda awful and mean. But mainly just being hot
ty! admittedly my professors are not that bad, ive only had one bad professor that was more incompetent that awful. if you want another anecdote, ill tell you about the only teacher i truly despise to this day (on the tags, cuz its a very dark story)
ask gamerino
#i retook that course with a different professor and passed expectacularly. now for the horrendous teacher#on this story we have vomiting injuries and attempted suicide so watch out#in my last two years of our highschool equivalent i had PE with a teacher that loved to play favorites#if u were on a sport team you were immediately given special treatment and as you might already tell i wasnt. i hate ball sports#i loved exercising but i dreaded PE because of her#i have a condition that made my periods incredibly painful and meself anemic so those weeks were hellish#even though i was a good student she would NEVER let me sit out the navette test. even with a doctors note#i would do my best and then literally go vomit and pass out in the bathroom cuz if i did it on the court i would be berated#that wasnt enough to earn my absolute hatred tho. we now move to the worst day of my life to this day#it was just getting to school from lunch (we could go home and have it there) and i had PE#when i get a text#it was my best friend being cryptic thanking me for being a friend and saying goodbyes#he was going to commit suicide#i absolutely lost my shit as one does and went on a rampage#i couldnt get in contact with anyone (his ex stepdad was abusive and isolated his family) and they didnt let me get out of school#i was desperate and my friends were trying to help me but i didnt know what to do. i called my mom and she called his school and then i just#sat and waited with a friend. while the other classmates did the navette test#the minutes passed. i got message from my bffs number and it was his mom telling me she found him just in time#i broke then. i started sobbing and screaming and scratching my arms and my friend held me and tried to keep me from hurting myself#some other classmates came concerned and tried to help#then the teacher came. she just looked at one of the volleyball girlies who shrugged#she didnt ask if i was ok or if i needed to call someone or go somewhere. she just asked if i planning to do the test#i said no and she left and i kept crying#when i felt stable enough i went to see what had happened and she just failed me. i couldnt give the test any other day and that was that#she simply didnt care#i had to calm myself down while writing this. its no use getting emotional over a teacher that didnt care#but i hate her. she made the worst day of my life worse and she doesnt know and doesnt care#that memory fuels me to never surrender to indifference and make the pain in this world worse#my bff got help he needed after that and our bond is stronger than ever. he never pulled something like that again#thats the story! not gonna tag this babes
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Shenzi: *tells him the truth about Scar*
Cheezi: Okay, I think we made a mistake.
Shenzi: *asks him to join her clan so they can be safe*
Cheezi: how dare.
#ooc#Sorry this really made me laugh because#that really bothered him the most and it’s funny to me#I know Kat said once that Ed does not want to freak Cheezi out#so I can imagine Ed took it slowly with Cheezi especially after Cheezi found out who he is#and likely let him approach on his own accord#no asking to join him in the backlands because he has a clan#and from the vague information he got Cheezi is happy so just let him be there but they will visit each other#and then Shenzi for understandable reasons was worried and asks him to join her clan for safety and Cheezi‘s over here like#a bit late for that isn’t it????#you think you can just show up and bring our clan out of order???#you ain’t got no idea what we have been through together we ain’t throwing away all that and start from scratch#and like it would have been the same had Ed tried to do that when they first met#he is still coming to terms with it all and everything has been so complicated lately#and I’m sorry but that interaction makes me laugh#i love it#listen Shenzi is totally valid because of her experiences with Scar#and she wants them to be safe which is understandable#but Cheezi is over here like ….that fear cannot come from just getting blamed and now I am even more worried#i just find it hilarious that his mind got stuck on the 'hey join my clan’ part because he is over here like#SLOWLY PLEASE#and she says no rush but he’s here like ….hm. idk what to think anymore I need some space#I don’t know why I find that interaction hilarious
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Do you find it weird Leela for some reason doesn't trust Brax in the newer gallifreys even though she has no reason to distrust him 🤔
Tbh it's one of those small things that kinda ruin the consistency between s1-6 and further audios for me. Like the only weird thing Brax did is appearing from out of nowhere but he didn't do anything to ot3 to ruin their trust (until Soldier Obscura at least). Like Narvin not trusting Brax is valid, they are not besties. Romana and Leela, however, seemed to trust Brax more before. Mb it's just an Enemy Lines issue tho 🤔
#me being me#gallifrey audios#idk idk there are many small things in post-s6 that kinda scratches me the wrong way and Brax's case is one of those#we don't count war room i think war room is 1) less like a typical gallifrey series#2) has a dynamic that I would expect from the characters#mb I'm nitpicking tho#its just weird because Leela explicitly says she trusts Brax in s2 or s3 I think#and Brax is pretty much the only person who treats her equally from the start#(I mean even Romana calls her savage and kinda laughs off her instincts a bit and the change in that is a part of her character arc etc etc#but idk seems like Brax is the person Leela and Romana shouldn't have issues trusting#or...mb i should relisten to the series again
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back on my talking in the tags bullshit like it's 2015 🫡
#i am feeling very Ack lately because i have abt ten months left to pay off my stupid ass student debt#which is exciting! i'm ready to go back to school!#but i have noooo idea what i'm going back for and i feel like i need to start firming up a decision so i can kind of get my ducks on a row#but like. girl. it's HARD#i have approximately 5/8 of an elementary education degree#and in an ideal world i would just finish it and become a teacher. boom done. i love teaching i LOVE it!!! i really do!!!#and i'm fucking good at it!!!#but we do not live in an ideal world. lol. i love being a teacher in theory but the reality of becoming a teacher in america#at this current moment.#where im essentially putting myself in the middle of a culture war where i am being casted as a criminal for Being Visibly GNC in front of#people's children. is not really ideal!!!!#and nkt to mention the gun violence and the fact that increasingly parents think they know better than teachers what should b taught and#TERRIBLLE pay a d tons of extra work w no administrative support#it just sounds. nkt great. to be honest.#but like.. what else do i do. i like the idea of mass comm w a production focus but i worry that i'll get disillusioned or dislike it once#it's what i Do...#and i could go back for the science-y stuff i wanted to do as a teenager and that sounds awesome but also#i think i am too dumb. lol. and i would be starting completely from scratch because all my science credits are like#Biology For People Who Just Need A Credit. yknow#and starting over wouldn't be the worst thing in the long run but it's so fucking daunting#i've already dropped out twice 😝🫶 i kinda just wanna finish it all in one fell swoop yknow#ANYWAYYYY. i have time i have so much time actually [shaking and crying and throwing up]
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Messy TR 276 notes (they’re not really connected to each other until they are)
Can we talk about how in Mikey’s first emotional moment in the series after August 3rd he went off to a private corner of the hospital to let out all his feelings about Draken where no one would see, and now he’s openly bawling in front of everybody
It’ll actually be interesting to see what if anything happens around Inupi and Koko bc as far as we know, the fire had nothing to do with all of the Mikey or Kisaki stuff, so it could still happen exactly as it did and affect them both the same way. Though I’d really like for both siblings to be alive, I don’t really want it at the cost of Inupi and Koko having a good relationship of some kind. Something something bait and switch where we think Koko’s on a date with Akane from behind but we see the front and it’s actually Inupi with long hair, just like how he mistook them that night except this time HE knows and WE don’t
These are connected to each other:
I doubt it so much but like imagine if the leap actually brought everyone who was at the fight back to the past too. Everyone who explicitly doesn’t recognize Takemichi eventually so far, are people who were already dead as of the leap point (Sanzu didn’t really seem to imply if he does or doesn’t, and Mikey does say his nickname after a moment). But that way all their growth and experiences so far would be carried with them, but they get a second chance to live and avoid all the bad things that happened, while still holding on to who those things made them as people. Mikey not having his fall bc he knows it could happen avoids 30% of the bad shit, Takemichi maybe letting Kisaki save Hina instead of him keeps him from becoming a monumental and murderous douchebag which solves 60% of the other problems. (Last 10% is like, Izana being abandoned, the Inui fire, etc, which seem to be unrelated) So Takemichi may lose her heart, but will protect her life. How would he manage to timeleap everybody? Fuck if I know. Power of love or something. Or the how doesn’t matter, just that it happened.
Of course this means important meetings between people who got brought back and people who didn’t could still happen bc the ones who came back need to meet them again. Chifuyu needs Baji, Mitsuya needs Draken, you get the idea.
Takeomi is the only one of his siblings who doesn’t know and is comically out of the loop, letting Sanzu and Senju bond. Taiju maybe sucks slightly less bc he’s already learned his lesson and Yuzuha never knows that level of trauma. Draken and Emma meet and fall in love over again. Mikey seeks out Izana and insists the Sanos make him family, he brings Kakucho, it’s a mess at first but they get there eventually. And so on.
Maybe a chance for a Time Capsule 2, Electric Boogaloo?
#tokyo Revengers spoilers#tr 276 spoilers#Tokyo Revengers#Baji and Draken were always going to be Good anyway#they can start from scratch it’s fine#(I’m telling myself this)#this isn’t a theory btw I really don’t think it’s what’s happening here#I just think it would satisfy me the most given what we have#I can deal with a bittersweet ending though. none of it was for nothing if we got here in the end#takemichi deserves the world and he will do his best to share it with everyone
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tonight is my last night sleeping in my bed. possibly for the rest of my life. and my last time in my room possibly for the rest of my life. and i want to just get a good night’s sleep to be ready for a long day tomorrow but it’s really not working out like that.
#my family is still up in the air maybe selling this house within the next month#in which case i will never be in this room ever again. otherwise i will be back for the holidays so there’s still a month of this bedroom#if we sell the house in the spring instead (only rational option there’s no way we can empty it in time)#especially since i will not be in this house whatsoever until after that sell date. my mom all by herself can’t empty it all#anyway i’m struggling a bit. saying goodbye to my home of 14 years????#i’ve been through a lot in this place and most of it is bad memories but like. every good memory i have is from here too….#and everyone i know irl is staying local i’m the only one who’s leaving. one irl friend is going to the same school as me but we had a fight#within the past month and i don’t think we’re ever going to recover because she just kind of never treated me like a person#so i’m starting from scratch and it’s really.. like fuck i want to get out of here but i’m also not at all ready to actually leave#i’m just going to miss all the stupid little things so much. even my online memories are tied to this place#like the woods down the street where my deer friends live and the ditch i fell into back in the day and all the places i’ve gotten lost#and they’ll be right here waiting for me and i’m SO excited for college i am but why does it have to feel so sudden????#i dont know how anyone does it.. and all my friends are going to colleges in their hometown so i don’t even have anyone to compare with#i found out today that if we keep the house through the winter my mom is planning on using my room as a guest room and office. and of course#that makes sense and everything but now i have the most crushing guilt for not cleaning it up well enough. i thought it would be okay and#i’d just have to deal with it when i come back and i didn’t know she wanted to use it and she’s going to box up all of my things without me#and i feel guilty that i didn’t do that and i feel scared and upset because it’s my things and my room i don’t want it to change#i’m just really anxious and sad and scared and i don’t know what to do. school is going to be good but none of this feels real or normal#and i just feel sick and scared and i don’t know what to do. waking up at 8am and leaving at 9am and moving in at 2pm and that will be it#my mom and sister are staying for a couple days and that will be good i hope. i dont know i feel so conflicted about everything#and i’m tired and sick and angry and overwhelmed and i just want to take a week off and come back alive again#and i guess that’s what i’m about to do.. after i move in there’s eight days before college starts and all i’ll be doing is moving in#(and welcome week activities. and a lot of sleeping. but hopefully i’m gonna get a rollator through a loan program and that will help a lot)#anyway here’s what’s going on. i’m going to maybe try to sleep i guess. but if anyone has advice or encouragement about moving to college..#now is the time i really need it. it’s just so strange and conflicted and everyone i know has been telling me i just need to get out of here#and myself included i really want to get out of here. but how can i start anew when everyone i’ve loved is shattered. and what have you#think i have to listen to that song for long enough to remember how badly i want to leave….#i’m just really not feeling well. i’m angry that i never got to have the childhood i deserved#because now i’m leaving and that means it’s officially over…. i’m just really not feeling well. i think i’m running out of tags….#i hope you all are well. i’ll be around in the morning maybe.. i’m not sure. hope everyone has a good night
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huehuehe 70h playtime gone because there is a corrupted save file and for the love of god I don't know how to fix it
#i try to load my save game and the game crashes#i start a new game and everything is working fine#i cant believe i legit paid money for a ps5 biggest mistake 0/10 would recommend#did everything i could do like even reset the ps5 and everything#but a real alex simply restarts the game and does the painstakingly journey of reaching level 95 from scratch#i was legit in the last chapter of the game couldn't be more than like three chapters max left ajdhskdhjs#im kind of giving up on everything as we speak
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people on twt are like. so genuinely mad about tyson being put on waivers (esp when they think rossi should be sent down instead) and my thing is just that. we weren't using him right. right? like he was good in the pre-season and when he's allowed to exist in a scoring role rather than a checking one, which dean isn't giving him (because, despite the state of our team generally at the moment, scoring forwards aren't supposed to be where our issues are) so waiving him/sending him somewhere else will at least give him the chance to get that? you know? he could go somewhere where he (a) gets to play consistently and (b) plays to his own strengths rather than what people keep deciding he should be doing.
#esp after that article where he was like. its been rlly hard being scratched all the time i'd rather him go somewhere he can actually#Do Well. yk ?#but for real ppl keep going WHY DONT WE SEND ROSSI DOWN INSTEAD which. i mean. im not sure about#like. just bc he's not immediately exploded or is another kirill right away doesnt mean hes like . useless#bc (a) his development has been seriously fucked by covid#and (b) not everyone does that ! its actually a lot rarer that people come in and immediately start scoring every which way !#he's not a 'draft bust' this is his first season and he's still getting used to it shut ur fuck up#my favourite stat to throw at that is joe thornton who went 1st overall and had 3 goals in his rookie season. 7 points TOTAL.#sometimes it takes people a minute ! and thats fine ! and normal !#and we're not in a WE NEED TO BE CONTENDERS RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY state. like it would be NICE. I GUESS. but we don't HAVE to be#(and . we're not . )#the point of this kind of got away from me . the point was : i think moving tyson is the right thing to do for him.#for us .... if we were using him properly like in the pre-season ? sure. keep him. but we weren't. so. there's no point in keeping him. :/#m#im not tagging this bc even on here those people scare me . if u see this u see this . ur welcome
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playing A3 on the JPN server is reminding me of the old time tradition of “bullying Tsuzuru Friday”, i miss it so much. the important celebrations we tend to forget....
#it's SO FUNNY TO ME bc gold trophy is really the hardest mat to come by#like i'm starting from scratch again so i still need all the mats#and i have to work on the weekend for the yuzo cards until i feel safe enough there#but the trophy's grind was always so specific bc we were always all running out of trophy#i remember on EN i had every single other mat capped to the max#but i kept running out of trophy#so at some point every other day of the week i would just grind on normal plays to get less mats#(and more cards of characters to sell off bc i was running so low on coins)#but friday was such an important day like wake UP it's time to bully Tsuzuru!!!#and now that i have to do all of the grinding seriously i still see Tsuzuru Friday and smile because ah yes#the most undying tradition there is#ichatalks about a3
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tbh snooping on my ex doesnt even hurt bc of him directly atp- im glad he's getting better and happier. what hurts is seeing ppl who claimed that no matter what they'd be there for us both who chose him bc he played victim so well
#like these ppl literally would be like omg we need to get to know each otehr better#and then when i would try to spend quality time with them he would insert himself or 'suddenly' have a crisis#and i would have to do damage control#to the point i snapped#and the first 2 times i snapped were angry and violent (suicide attempt and kicking him out almost 1y apart) i wont deny it#but like i immediately became the bad guy#nevermind all the shit he did to me! they immediately believed him cause he's a poor little white guy who is easy to infantilize#honestly this is the msot ive talked abt this here cause im STILL scared of him seeing my accts#i dont even think he'd do much atp but like the fact that i had to erase my ENTIRE online self to get away from him fully#cause the first time i didnt and he made Multiple accts to get me back#and preyed on the fact im a little gullible and was suffering from extreme paranoia#and its like..... ALL that is just scratching the surface!#there was so much mental fuckery and pain caused by this dude#not to mention the sheer number of times he'd try to kill himself in front of me so i could be responsible for his death#literally from when we met there was 7 attempts/ODs where he REPEATED that it was my fault#as early as when we first met he started doing that and i felt so responsible#like i do not deny homeboy was suffering in his own ways but the way he projected his pain on to#me has caused so much gd damn damage#adn the fact that when i had to LITERALLY run from him after the last one to the point i was thinking of moving across the country when#i left#and these ppl STILL shut me out after i refused to "just try talking to him bc he didnt mean it liek that#like what the fuck else does throwing a bottle at someone;s head and swallowing pills right outside their door after screaming at them bc#they had to either move into their dads or be on the street cause they couldnt trust the 'secured' housing after being homeless for a 1.5yr#bc he kept pawning ppls shit and stealing items from bedrooms and they couldnt handle being on the street AGAIN bc they were always#the fall guy#like what else is that situation supposed to mean!#what is it supposed to mean when someone who claimed to love you causes mental and physical harm to you when you try to explain#that you are TIRED of cleaning up their messes cause their messes ahve isolated you#that you need to live at home so u could actually finish ur degree even if home isnt much better cause at least its constant shelter to fin#the degree that he's been depending on u for and pressuring you to finish so u can get a job bc he was incapable of being sober for more
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