tblueger - Tumblr blog

tblueger · 26 minutes

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Girl what

#the fact that this WORKED is blowing my mind.#stars

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tblueger · 19 hours

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the thing about that kid is like okay sure i’ll play along with you and i’ll pretend every hit he’s ever laid is totally clean and any injuries were just freak incidents of bad luck because he’s so tall and he would never want to hurt anyone and his team is definitely not encouraging him to hurt anyone. okay? everything i’m about to say is taking all of that in consideration in good faith. if these are the results of good, clean hits, and they’re legal, then the nhl needs to change its rules about hits. i don’t care if someone is 6’7. if they can’t finish a hit without direct head contact they shouldn’t be laying them at all. “aw, that sucks, why does he have to play differently than anyone else” because everyone else seems capable of not knocking out multiple players in a season where they had the second lowest ice time in the league. sorry! players not getting traumatic head injuries is more important to me than making sure everyone can hit anyone they want however they want in the name of fairness, and it should be for the league too.

i don’t understand why this is controversial. last season when i said if an elbow to the head in the middle of the ice is a legal hit they need to change what a legal hit is i got so many people angry with me and it’s like, for what? for what? i am not talking about these types of players on a personal level, i am not insulting teams out of rivalries, i am not implying all fans of these players or teams are bad people. when a style of play has proven to be dangerous time and time and time and time and time again, then that style of play needs to be removed from the game. if next season sidney crosby decided his new move was laying out opponents by elbowing them in the head i would feel the exact same way. if you absolutely cannot play hockey without posing serious and long-term risk to the health of your opponents on the ice, you should not be playing hockey. the end. legal hits clean hits head down height difference i don’t care it doesn’t matter. even believing that it’s an accident every time. you should not be on that ice if you are incapable of playing safely.

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tblueger · 21 hours

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"does he use soap?" how long does it take the average person to shower

#MATTHEW.#THREE MINUTES ?????

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tblueger · 22 hours

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pasta a la erik karlsson

THE INGREDIENTS: pasta. alfredo. meat sauce. raw (red) onion. hot sauce (cholula, judging by the video). ketchup (heinz, i think?). a little salt and pepper.

THE RECIPE: boil pasta, chop the onion, serve with all sauces. eat and not die.

hi my name is emily and welcome to jackass

instead of liveblogging this process, i'm just going to add my thoughts to one big post to make it cleaner <3

6:48 pm: the pasta is boiling. i keep looking over at the Pile of Sauces and giggling. i have whispered "what the fuck" to myself a few times now. i'm cooking the whole box, because we're all having spaghetti tonight, but i'm the only one brave enough to try... This

6:54 pm: erik did not mention this as part of the meal but i poured myself a glass of rose. the onion has been chopped. i tried to get them chunky to match the video but that's like too much man, at least have your onions DICED why are they in CHUNKS ERIK

7:05 pm: writing these time stamps i'm realizing i'm a slow cooker because i keep getting distracted by my playlist (rn it's rebel rebel by david bowie). i am starting the alfredo sauce and it's sinking in that i'm about to actually. eat this. like a few bites, there's no way i'm eating this whole plate (this is NOT foreshadowing)

7:07 pm: i almost panicked because i didn't think i had enough milk for the alfredo but surprise, i had EXACTLY enough. this is a good omen.

7:15 pm: everything is done, i am just waiting for the meat sauce to warm up. i'm still whispering "what the fuck to myself".

7:21 pm: it's time. to assemble.

i grabbed a small plate, but i'm realizing. maybe i should have grabbed less. this is revolting. and i'm not even done adding things

added and mixed. i'm laughing. erik eats this. before every game? it overwhelmingly smells like cholula which is fine but oh my god. oh my god? no. no. this poor man's stomach. oh my god

7:30 pm: i've put it off. it's time to take a bite

IT'S JUST. IT'S JUST A LOT OKAY. THIS IS A LOT OF FLAVOR AND NONE OF IT REALLY GOES TOGETHER? it's like way too acidic. biting into a red onion is a terrible surprise. it's too saucy and it doesn't feel Good in my stomach, like i have taken two bites and it's settled so heavily already. okay no three bites. it's... it's just upsetting. this is an upsetting experience. what the fuck is wrong with you erik karlsson. you eat this and then you go and play professional hockey?

FOUR BITES IN AND IT DOES NOT GET BETTER. why does he do this to himself like can we send someone to check on him fr i am genuinely concerned about this man like i made this meal for the bit but he willingly does this to himself?????? 82 games a season???????

IN CONCLUSION: i managed five (5) bites. they were all bad. don't make this. someone arrest erik karlsson immediately i am so serious.

#you're a braver person than me

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tblueger · 1 day

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you should get an automatic double for fouling jack johnson because what did that old man do to you

#ry i misread ur tag and went pls we know what that old man did to him.

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tblueger · 1 day

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one of us needs to get on cap cut and make the two birds on a wire brodumba edit

#hey. ouch. no we don't.#oh my god two birds on a wire say that rheyre always gonna be together but ones never going to let go of that wire says that he will but #he is just a liar .#ill believe it all theres nothing i wont understand ill believe it all i wont let go of your hand.#MAN