#wait tumblr made this look really fucking crusty :(
Text
good etiquette demands i remain soft and accessible in the face of my own ending
#my art#ultrakill#gabriel ultrakill#ultrakill gabriel#ultrakill fanart#ultrakill art#i love this dumb angel so much#acute angle#i've really liked that song for a couple years now#and realized it kinda suits him#which spawned this#so its inspired by the album art ofc#first fully colored piece in a long time!#i cant take much credit but yeah#wait tumblr made this look really fucking crusty :(#oh well
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi Ai! SN asks are one of the things I love reading here on tumblr everyone having their own theories so creative. At this point I really think MC knowing what Gojo did to Sera and might got her damn pregnant will be the last blow on her😭
on god it will be 😭 and speaking of theories, i shall compile them all under here <33 i hope u don’t mind
@fusheeguro said
Ok ik i said i wanted gojo and y/n to be endgame, and strangely i was happy reading this bc gojo finally got his ass denied?? and despite knowing that home girl has a life threatening disease and could die??? I SWEAR I AM NOT A WEIRDO!! this chapter just made sense!! i was soooo satisfied with the way things were handled. also, the way i see our home girl becoming a noble fashion designer? like yes y/n, chase yo dreams!! make them clothes for all the zen’in teens. get your paper. don’t let that booty ass crusty ass hoe hold you down!! (p.s. i sent that y/n gojo endgame ask b4 i read chap 8 and by the time i was done writing and ready to send it YOU UPDATED LANSJWBSHS I AM NOT A GOJO APOLOGIST NOR SIMP)
also can i just take a second to say SLAYYY SLAYYYYYY AI. YOUR WRITING JUST BUILT DIFF. YOU KNOW SHE’S A GOOD WRITER WHEN SHE MAKES YOUR FEEL SUMN! THIS SHIT IS SOME GOOD BIRD FOOD FOR MY PIGEON ASS!! but dw i am a delivery pigeon who knows how to drop off mail and i am omw to tell my notes how satisfied i am with chapter 9 🚪✨
Anonymous said
first off would like to tell u that this fic is so captivating and i lit binge read the first five and could not wait for the other chapters to release
like although all the main characters (sera gojo and yn) have something to hate abt them they’re really well developed and idk how u keep up with writing this without being slightly biased or annoyed 😭
and honestly the chap 8 ended in such a cliffhanger and i couldn’t wait for this next chapter
chap 9 was honestly so good but the only thing that made me meh was yn getting a heart condition (b/c i really don’t want this to be the cliche im abt to die and u j confessed ur love type thing if that makes sense)
but other than that thank u so much for everything and i am looking forward to the rest of the series!!!
(btw j wanna shout out ur chapter five cause i genuinely think it’s a masterpiece… it really hyped 😭)
@t2iara said
HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK
so we were the one who said 'u qanna make it up to me, u hv to do it for the rest of your life ' OMGDJJG AND GOJOU WAS THE ONE WHO SAID 'you're not valuable wnough to ruin my life' TO SERA AHHAHA CHILLS, sera is so inconsiderate.. shawty its ok to imagine what you would look like with a baby bump😢 just dont regret it when i take you to court😠😠 obviously you have some brain problems if you think you're still the victim here. mc is literally bound to die but its ok you didnt know😀 i hope u still don't think im faking my heart problems for attention!!1!!1!1 FSCKING BITAKDH i will let you know your place next time hahahah yk you cant be in the sidelines forever because one day satoru is gonna wake up and decide that oh im gonna end things w my mistress today because i need to make things right😯 then you'll experience more struggles in your life and maybe MAYBE thatll change your mindset and i hope you change for the better and realize that you just need to "let things be" 🤰🏌 lol
pointing fingers at us wont do you any good💔💔 affsdsd sera probably thinks that if she gets pregnant by gojous baby then he has to divorce us and marry her instead because mostly in shows thats how it works.. as if satoru will divorce us lol he doesnt have the balls to do it💓 toji toji i love you thx for the small talk😭 looking forward for our meetings w the zen'ins !!!! <3 HAHA MIWA HEY HEYYY👋👋👋 i rlly hope she wont be a problem here (like being a second mistress SORRY) because doesnt she like gojou in the anime and shes gojous type when utahime asked him😳😳 and omg i didnt even notice that gjou didnt ask us if we want a baby bc i was focused on the smut ajsjjsjs, the ring🤩 first step if we're gonna ignore satoru bc last chapter our ring was the reason why y/n considered going after his ring in the ocean. thanks for the sera going home pov💗💗 i rem you included asking us if we want to see her pov going home in my last ask💗💗
@honouredsatoru said
i am still on a hiatus but i come back every friday just to catch up with your series. its so beautifully, painfully, frustratingl written and it gets my soul all riled up whenever y/n is being mistreated bcs she doesnt deserve this. but as a fellow writer, i know you have it planned and only the best for her.
sincerely, not started out as a typical series for me but i think i can confidently say that i am emotionall, mentally and spiritually attached to this series. thank you so much for working so damn hard. do take good care of yourself and please dont mind the negative messages, we all love you <3
also something for cuntjo 😌 may your coffee taste absolutely bitter with loads of coffee grounds still in it, maybe your socks get ripped out. may your presentation slides suddenly stopped whilst attending a crucial meeting, may your airpods break by the 2nd night you bought them. to y/n, you're doing great sweetheart! i love youuu.
Anonymous said
hi!!! amazing chapter once more!!!! i love this fic w all my heart it's beyond amazing. also i have a thought??? lol but idk if you've ever mentioned it bc i have poor memory but did gojo and sera get together before or after sera got the job at gojo's company??? bc like i feel like to a certain extent, being at the company and having strong ties w a person in power is kinda feeding into sera's little fantasy about having a rich life. granted, i do empathize w her on her family life because no one ever deserves to have to struggle so much just to have a barely livable lifestyle. however, the more she's involved in the business and family things, the more she's submerged into this little delusion that all rich people are blessed w no problems (again not always 100% true and has a lot of nuance but at least rich ppl don't rlly have to work EXTREMELY extremely hard to live a comfortable lifestyle). like the fact that sera believes that y/n can't have any problems and issues bc everything has been handed to her on a silver platter and disregards everything y/n went through. and she's been always disregarding gojo's past and trauma. it's like she doesn't want that "rich image and lifestyle" to be tainted. idk if i'm making sense since english is not my first language. i'm not rlly good w words and theories. but hopefully u understood what i said. that again, i thoroughly enjoyed this chapter and all other chapters!!! will be continuously reading it until the next one comes heheheeh <33333
Anonymous said
Hello Ai! This is my first time asking something through here so I'm a bit nervous😭but feel free to ignore this since i know that you have 300+ more ask and your probably busy! :)
Anyways, before I carry on I'd like to say how much I love your writing, its ✨MUaH✨ chefs kiss😩✋
Your story's with angst are all always top tier💕 so keep at it! You're doing great
Anyways to stop my heart from hurting through all the angst I've been reading on your Sn story(especially chapter 8/9). I had this silly headcanon that came into mind when I read someone's ask about y/n and satoru's kid 'sachiro' (or sum like that I can't remember) and I'd like to know what your interpretation would be like(as the writer/author) if y/n ended re-marrying toji(in the whole co-parenting thing), and how he would be as a step-dad towards sachiro.
[So yes step daddy toji in the house yall😩]
I personally think Satoru's pettiness levels would be extremely high since y/n married his rival company and be low-key jealous of how close he is to sachiro///
(again this is totally dumb thing that came into my mind when the whole 'co-parenting' ask appeared and I totally need something to ease the pain rn 😭lookey cryin with the homies rn and sera you better be sleeping with an eye open cuz theses anons are ready to throw hands///me included)
Anonymous said
Wow just wow 😳 Did not expect that ?? But like I’m glad ?!!?? It took a heart condition for mc to cut hoejo out of her life ?? Also I desperately want mc’s dad and sis to know everything and I mean everything sera and slutoru did too her( hope they destroy his company )
Why do so many want mc and hoejo to get together in the end ? That makes no sense to me ? Like how do you get past that, the pain and trauma and cheating? How can you trust ? Also I don’t believe he’s in love with her. Love is a actions , not words. If he loved her he’d give the divorce papers with a generous gift or something. He’s still so selfish plus I think he only really likes her coz of how much she does for him ? He likes how she keeps the house tidy, how she comforts him,how she takes care of his nightmares, how she’s so sweet and submissive for him? How she helps with his image and status? They’re all so superficial. Like what is 10yrs down the line he likes his sweet secretary who’s had similar trauma (to him) who just seems to understand him yadda yadda. He knows nothing about mc, he doesn’t know her quirks doesn’t care about her sketches or passions ?, her grief with her moms death,her friends etc? Those things could have been done on the side abs subtly. I just don’t believe he loves her at all, it’s basically him losing his second mommy. I don’t know why anyone hasn’t said this yet but mc needs to settle down with firefighter best boy yuuji itadori. The only one who’d treat her well. Ik people are rooting for Toji but he loves his wife still, don’t want to stomp on that, it feels more mentor/ mentee relationship anyway
Ending this by fangirling over how goood of a writer you are. I am in awe. Plus the suspense , I randomly think about what’s going happen next Friday or I’ll just get a bout of anger thinking about hoejo while furiously eating yougurt.
Thank you for this amazing series
-🍱
@dora-the-grownup said
HEHEHEHEHE YALL HEAR THAT?? TOJIS VOICE THRU YNS PHONE SPARKED ELECTRICITYYYYYYYYYY 😆⚡️🦋💘💖✨ #mrszenin #tojicalledusmrszenin #zeninclan #WEREMEETINGMEGUMI shejkskmdmdmdnfm sir i am in love w u
for the baby’s sake, i hope sera isn’t pregnant. i rlly dont vibe with sera like,, she’s kinda immature,, and she’s lowkey materialistic?? idealistic?? that’s her downfall rlly. plus she’s so self centered like bae </3 the world doesn’t revolve around u 😭 if she had a kid, i’m scared she’d be one of those moms who blame all their troubles in life on the child. i feel like she’d be the type to have high expectations of her kid and if they don’t fulfill it, she’d get so disappointed and antagonize them and go into another whirl of “here we go again with why my life isn’t perfect”. i definitely am scared that sera would look at a child as a way to start over her own life and project her own shit onto them
sera’s mom seemed so nice thooo :( she didn’t deserve sera’s angry words i felt so bad for her :( it must have been so awkward for her fam to eat at the table after her outburst too lol it’s giving very childhood trauma vibes for her siblings rip
okok so toji fushiguro 💓💗💕💖💘💕💘💞 but idk gojo this chapter is making me feel a lil smthsmth 🤨❤️🩹(?)… i’ve said before that he needed time alone for self reflection because he’s just been dragged around by sera and his pride that he can’t rlly think for himself anymore, and i’m honestly so glad he’s had a week to think (and suffer alone but whatever he had it coming). i love that he’s rlly trying now and that he’s realizing the weight of his past actions AND I LOVE YN GIRLBOSSING HER WAY THRU IT OH YES THAT LAST LINE 🙌👏 YEA BESTIE 💪💅
i’m rlly looking forward to finally seeing yn in action with her passion when she goes to the zenin estate 🙈 i jus know that shits gonna make me so giddy HAHAHAHA anywayyy thank u so much for this chapter! no lie, sn makes my saturday mornings so exciting and it’s what i look forward to all week 😩
Anonymous said
this chapter was so heartbreaking for me to read /lh /pos(??)
like, just the part of mc's heart disease made me cry like idk??? like a baby? because when i was 5, i was diagnosed with one (and thank god is cured bc i had surgery when i was 8) but i stopped to think if i hadn't gone to the hospital that day, maybe i wouldn't have discovered this and i wouldn't have had the surgery annnd like, this made me cry a lot,,,,, your work is amazing, it makes me think about a lot of things in my life i didn't really paid attention, i guess
@katsulovee said
hii!! I don’t really have much to say but I’m glad that yn is starting to take care of herself now and focus on herself worth!! I really hope she does so after her dream on running her own little company one day with help from mr toji.
I also love yn and toji’s relationship!! I love how she can really open up to him, even about her condition and kinda treats her like family too!! I really wish yn the best in future happiness because she really deserves it from all the pain and suffering she’s been put through.
thatminniechick said
YESSSS Y/N MAKE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS LETS GO!!! Design them clothes line! Also there's no real way for Goji to start making it up to her until he breaks it off with Sera and minimizes contact, and that'd just be the beginning. It's upsetting to read that Sera blames Y/N for her misfortunes that Y/N isnt even aware off. She's so clouded in bitterness that she doesnt realize that she is as toxic as her parents are to her. It's tragic. Beautifully written chapter! Cant wait for the next one.
@m3gumiis said
Hiiii i know you have a shit ton of asks but I truthfully could not hold back on sending this.
First and foremost, you did it again!! This chapter was done beautifully as well as the others, I’m looking forward for the future angst and satoru redemption arc.
Second, “To know that you might end up six feet under and be forgotten in this world like your mom did was an experience that left blisters on your heart.”
Jesus. this was so heartbreaking. I didn’t realize this was a fear of mine until I read that line i’m just wow. Hypothetically speaking, if MC does end up dying, I honestly hope she is not forgotten easily.
also this line, “M-My heart’s already suffering,” WAS GENUIS!! the way MC is being so literal about it is scary because satoru doesn’t even realize it. like GOOSEBUMPS FR.
and I have a question, so you mentioned that sera’s family was given money by Gojo’s so does that mean they are aware she is in a secret relationship with him? and i’m glad you included her POV, as a first gen here i understand having to be the breadwinner in the family. although it might be the pisces in me, i do sympathize with her and understand why she views the world the way she does.
Thank you for taking the time to not only answer asks but update on such a tight schedule. You deserve all the love to come!!! :D
Anonymous said
Only you can make a 9k chapter feel so short 😭😭 I always want to know more everytime I finish a chapter
Gojo is finally getting what was coming for him and he deserves it. He's in denial about it, but he absolutely was just as abusive as his dad, even if he would never get physically violent. It makes me have so many encountered feelings, bc I'm a gojo simp and kinda want mc and him to have their happy ever after, but realistically that kind of emotional abuse is extremely hard to look past and move on from, and in real life I would absolutely beg mc to get away from him as fast as possible.
I also find it so hard to empathize with sera lol girl I'm poor too but i've never gone after a married man. We really saw also how she loves the idealized version of gojo, and doesn't like when her picture perfect boyfriend is anything but. I can see how she desperately wants something perfect after dealing with her family but still #SeraGetTherapyChallenge
Love how we all camp waiting for your asks to open! Keep taking care of yourself first though, we love you ❤️
@dol-house said
i usually don't go after the other women when it comes to cheating after all she didn't swear to be loyal,but this bitch sera makes it so hard not to, like she seen the mc being extremely lenient with her and still have the nerve to play the victim. If it was me i would have walked out on Gojo the moment he and his dumb bitch tried to villainize me. idk maybe im speaking from the fact that its incredibly hard for me to make meaningful emotional relationships or its probably because i have no tolerance for toxic relationships.( mostly because almost all the women in my family had been in one and i have been a witness to my parents own abusiveness) but all in all im glad that the mc is getting her shit together and walking away from the stress. But the sadist in me is fucking giggling i truly hope that gojo beg on his knees for the mc to come back i just wish the worst for him right now i hope that sera bady traps him i hope that the mc divorces his ass and (she) get with someone that truly cares for her and makes her happy the poor girl needs a happy ending.
Anonymous said
Why am i a whore? First of all i was crying the whole time while reading this chapter and that’s really strange because of all chapters this one hurt me the least but it’s the one i cried about the most because it was just too emotional😭
ok back to the topic why am i a whore? I literally made a whole speech about how i am so disgusted about gojo and that i could never forgive him no matter what and how he must suffer but now i feel a little bad for him🧍🏻♀️ but i shouldn’t let my whore emotions take the best of me he must suffer like how his wife suffered or even more because i might feel a little bad of him but it's nothing compared to how much i feel bad for y/n especially after i found that she has heart condition 😭💔
@peachiekookie said
Hello Hello 💜 I just got done reading Chapter Nine of SN and tears were falling already! There’s a few things I’ve had in mind while reading this chapter.
The conversation between Sera and Gojo - I felt mixed emotions. Anger? Remorse? Anxious? Too much happening since Gojo finally confronted Sera about what’s going on but Sera was pulling another trick up her sleeve. Will she use the pregnancy as a bridge to success or failure? She’s making me angry but also curious because sometimes the second female leads somehow manage to royally screw everything up anyways so I’m just waiting for that specific chapter to come up. And the relationship she has with her family made me feel so bad honestly. I can’t imagine yelling at my parents but in her case, since the dad is acting that way, Sera should just kick him out if he’s not providing financially. The mom I see her as a housewife watching the kids while Sera’s working so that’s okay. If anything, she didn’t have to yell at her siblings for caring about their older sister 🥺
Second concern was the conversation between MC and Gojo. That was a tear jerker (but it won’t top Ch.9) and I just wish for happy MC 💜 Gojo has abused her verbally and mentally (physically too bc of the ring situation), so I don’t think there will be a happy ending between them..? Maybe so maybe not but as far as the story goes, Gojo has a lot to make up for this marriage. MC won’t file for a divorce maybe because of the business relationship but if she had the power to, then she would’ve ended it without thinking twice. Now that we know MC has CAD, there’s no doubt in my mind the divorce will come with a happy ending like “Gojo, I’m sorry for the divorce but just know that regardless of what happens between us, I’ll still wish for happiness for you. It may not be with me but I don’t want you to suffer as much as I did,” type of divorce, ya know? Like pull the trigger with her own happiness and it makes him suffer in the end? Too much lol? However the story goes I will still love it anyways!
Last, Toji and MC. IN MY OPINION(!), I’m not wanting Toji and MC to become a couple. At first when he came up to MC at the bar my heart did backflips and I was like “oh yes she gonna get drunk and have a liquid courage hookup with him!” But as the story progressed and their relationship to, I see their relationship becoming a Brother-Sister type of bond . . I see Toji caring for his baby sister and wanting nothing but happiness for her while MC leans towards him as a escape zone for comfort. The way Toji makes her smile without much effort makes my heart melt but I don’t feel butterflies like that. I don’t think MC looks at him in that sense and is most likely using him (well not ‘using’ him) as an asset to begin her career. Like it’s a friend looking out for a friend :) I’m sorry to everyone who supports the Toji x MC trope but I support their relationship whatever if is our Author plans in the end!
This whole story got me going nuts and this is my first time sending in an Ask to you! Thank you again for making Friday’s interesting since all my family sees from me are tears and a runny nose 🥲💜
Anonymous said
After that emotional ending in chapter 8, I went to listened to the SN song playlist to comfort my heart and soul. The song that stood out was Harry Styles’ Falling and I decided to watch the music video as well. Someone in the comment section interpreted the music video, saying, “And after drowning himself, he realizes how he can try to start again, even when it’s really hard to recover from what he’s been through. That’s why the beginning is actually the end, with the water in the room going down, he playing the wet piano again and resting.”
It made me think, what if SN’s open ending is like that? Very simply, Gojo and y/n do separate, the merging wouldn’t happen, Gojo would lose y/n and his chance at being CEO, and Sera seems like she wouldn’t stick with him through all of this (seeing that she only likes the idea of his perfect self). Gojo will essentially hit rock bottom and wallow in regret as y/n moves on. In my mind, y/n wouldn’t necessarily move on to another relationship but move on with her career and loving/caring for herself. At some point, Gojo will find a way to forgive himself and move on from the past as well; he’ll find it in himself to let go of the agony that has tormented him (i.e. reconcile with his mom). And maybe years later, a mentally healthy Gojo and a heart healthy y/n would cross paths again, and it’ll be an open ending to whether or not they end up together again. But ultimately, they both are at peace and have forgiven each other. I also like to think that even during the time they were apart, they continued to have love for each other.
@sourpatchdweebs said
Sheeesh as someone who’s been through an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship. And had a snapping point JUST LIKE THIS… This is hitting home so so much wow. The way you’ve written the emotions of wanting that familiarity of a relationship but feeling like you’re not good enough is spot on scarily so. You’re an amazing author I hope you know. Just like y/n here I had a snapping point where I went OFF on my abuser; except I was at a safe position to leave since he was leaving for the navy. It’s just so interesting to see a toxic relationship being portrayed at extreme accurately like this. I’m hoping to see y/n live the life she deservesss !!
@bbykita said
can we talk abt seras stankin ass and her home life? i get that she is frustrated and upset abt her dads drinking which caused the dinner not to be good but she didnt have to be as rude abt it as she was. also with the 10 million yen thing didnt it all go to waste on her fathers debt? so how do they have a nicer place now? in conclusion i hate that fucking stanking dumb ass btich. also gojo, your to late with the apologies baby.( putting all this aside, how r u? i hope your keeping up with your mental health, getting enough sleep, and overall taking care of yourself! )
hey guys i’m sorry i can’t respond to u all but i just thought it’d be nice to publish these asks for anyone who’s interested to see <33 thank u for the support and for leaving all these messages !!
81 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Universe Had His Back - Chapter 3
Eclipse
Summary: Reader is struggling without Levi and their daughter. Something seems to be brewing among their friends to change that!
Chapters: Two | Three | Four
Master List
Warnings: Fem! Reader, Angst, Fluff, Modern AU, Reference to alcohol abuse, slight swearing.
Word Count: ~ 2.5k
Inspiration: That's Okay - D.O. (@sooibian's husband)
A/N: I tried posting this chapter earlier but stupid Tumblr had issues with me linking my song inspiration to YouT*be :(
@araveticazx, thank you for your kind words! They're really encouraging for a new writer like myself. Here's the new chapter one day early :)
Reader’s POV
A lush green meadow spread as far as eyes could see. Sunlight gently kissed your skin. Your delicate baby blue summer dress swayed with the breeze. You held your oversized hat in place with your left hand as you felt a small but tight grip on your right one. You looked down to find a little girl, smiling up to you, her silver eyes squinting. “I miss you, Mama!” she said. “I miss you too, Loonie” you replied with a peck on the crown of her head. Someone hugged you from behind. You did not need to turn around to know who it was. Levi’s hands slid around your waist, and you leaned back against his chest. You could feel his soft breaths on the back of your neck and smell the familiar fragrance of his cologne. “This is perfect, isn't it?” you asked with a smile. Your husband holding you, and your baby girl laughing and playing nearby. “Go, open the door”, he whispered in your ear.
“What?”
The calmness of the flourishing meadow was disrupted by the loud sounds of a doorbell. A sharp pain that shot through the side of your neck made you wince. You were all by yourself within a flash, your family nowhere to be seen. Everything went dark. No company other than the sounds of the doorbell and the pain in your neck. “Wait! Don’t leave me!” you screamed, reaching out into the darkness. No one answered. The ringing got louder; your neck hurt more than ever.
You jolted awake, feeling disoriented. just like every night for the last two weeks you had fallen asleep on the floor, propped up against foot of your bed. Again. You groaned while straightening your aching neck that was bent to the side.
You analyzed your surroundings with hooded eyes - A glass, half full of watery whiskey sat on the floor by your feet, the ice cubes having melted sometime after you passed out late last night. The floor was sprinkled with crumpled tissues and pictures of your family, your bed unmade, clothes strewn on the couch, the sink full of dirty dishes, shoes lying on the floor exactly where you took them off after getting home from the patisserie yesterday. Also, what was that smell?
Wow, Levi would not step foot within a mile’s radius of your apartment if he knew of this. The thought of his reaction to the unkempt place made you smirk. The ringing sound of the doorbell was now giving you a headache.
“Are you okay? I’m going to break this door down again if you don’t answer it in the next thirty seconds!”, a troubled voice on the other side warned.
Chugging the remaining dilute spirit, you picked yourself up off the floor supporting your body against the dining chair while your head rush passed.
“Wait! Don’t! I’m okay.” you croaked while dragging your feet towards the door.
Miche and Nanaba, stormed into your apartment, both looking anxious. Miche, your friend from culinary school, was like an older brother and the co-owner of your patisserie; and Nanaba was his girlfriend of many years. The couple scrutinized your appearance from top to toe with concern. You appeared disheveled to say the least. Your hair was a mess, cheeks crusty from dried tears, eyes puffy and dazed, and you still wore the same clothes that you had on at work yesterday.
"We've been ringing your doorbell since forever now! What the fuck were you even doing?”, Miche scolded.
“I was asleep. And could you please. Just. Lower. Your. Voice?”, you whined rubbing your temples with both hands. He stared daggers at you.
“What? It was Saturday night. I just treated myself to some drinks.”, you defended. “SOME drinks? And what was your excuse for Friday night? And the night before that? And the many other nights before that? In fact, I can even smell it on you right now.”, Miche angrily waved a large empty bottle of whiskey that he picked off the floor in front of your face. He was towering over you, given he was over a foot taller in your comparison.
.
Flashback: Five months ago
It was a Sunday evening, your only day off work. You had spent all day setting up your new apartment. A few days went by since Levi served you the divorce notice. You had decided to move out of Miche and Nanaba’s guest bedroom and into a place of your own to stop disrupting their lives any further. After overcoming strong resistance from the two, you finally rented a studio apartment close to their place which Miche handpicked himself so that he could visit any time you needed him.
You sipped on a glass of wine while unpacking the last of the boxes he had picked up on your behalf from Levi. It contained some old trinkets and your collection of novels that you neatly arranged on your new shelves. Upon reaching into the very bottom of it, you unearthed some pictures - Pictures your little family during happier times. Your heart began thumping hard enough to threaten breaking your ribs. The images started to appear blurry as tears began to well up in your eyes while you stood frozen looking at them.
Sitting down on the floor, you arranged them around you, and looked at each one intently, reminiscing all the events that had led to the capturing of those joyous smiles on paper. It was painful, but you could not bear to look away. Deciding that you needed something to calm yourself down with, you refilled your glass of wine once, twice, and many times again until the next thing you remembered was being shaken awake by a distressed Miche on the verge of calling emergency services, as you lay passed out on the floor.
He was furious. You sat timidly on the couch while he paced around the room giving you a piece of his mind.
“What the fuck kind of behavior is this? Is this what you moved out for? So that you could drink yourself to death?”, his roar echoed through your modest rental.
“I’m sorry.”, is all you could manage to squeak as you sat, shaking. His face softened upon hearing your voice.
“Just -, please stop doing this to yourself.”, He kneeled before you and pulled you into a bear hug.
“I promise I’ll try.”, you cried. And you really did. You would try to fight the monsters in your mind with all the power you had. Some days you would succeed, only to get dragged back into that hell again. It had turned into a vicious cycle. The gloomy evenings alone at your empty apartment would drive you at full speed towards insanity, the bottle being your only savior.
.
Present day “Look, let me cope with my problems, okay? I am trying to stop. Did you come all the way here just to wake me up and reprimand me, Dad?”, you snapped at him with heavy emphasis on the last word. Your voice shook, signaling that your dam was about to burst at any moment. “We’re just worried about you.”, Nanaba intervened, gently putting her hands on both your shoulders, standing in between you and Miche in an attempt to ease the tension. “We also thought you could use some breakfast.”, he held up the paper bag in his hand along with a cup of iced latte. Your eyes widened upon recognizing the logo on them as the one you and Levi had designed together for his café.
“Eren visited today. He brought this over for you.”, Miche added after he noticed you gaping at it.
“Oh. How is he doing? I haven't seen him in a while.”, you inquired biting into the everything bagel slathered in cream cheese that you took out of the bag. You met Eren a few years ago when he started working at the café while he was in college. You and Levi had grown quite fond of him. You, because he was friendly and good company to have around; Levi because Eren was diligent and one of the very few people who could keep up with his unreasonable cleaning expectations. Upon graduating, he decided to stick around and pick up shifts because he liked working there. He was currently taking a yearlong break before starting graduate school.
"He's doing well. He is managing the café now that Levi has bigger things to work on. Also, Mikasa might be able to answer your questions about Eren better.” Nanaba winked.
Mikasa was your apprentice at the patisserie. She and Eren recently began dating, given her frequent visits to the café after you stopped dropping off supplies. You remembered the shy glances they exchanged when you had brought her along for particularly bulky deliveries in the past. Eren had made a few abysmal attempts at flirting with her. You teased Levi that Eren reminded you of when he was trying to court you, though Levi adamantly maintained that he was much smoother in comparison.
“I’m glad he finally mustered up the courage to confess to her. How long has he been in love with her for?” you chuckled.
“He didn’t confess anything. The poor girl got tired of waiting asked him herself. Are all the men working at that café terrified of the women they like?”, Miche sniggered.
The three of you shared a hearty laugh over that. But the moment was interrupted by Miche’s loud sniffing.
“Now that you don’t seem to want to kill me, what is that God awful smell?” He asked, dramatically gagging.
“Possibly me. But it could also be the week-old dirty dishes, clothes due for laundry, and multiple empty bottles of booze. Oh! And I don’t remember the last time I took out the trash.” you said nonchalantly, taking a sip of your iced latte, and dodged a punch that Miche playfully threw at you.
“Almost a decade with Ackermann, and all you managed to pick up is his attitude and not his cleanliness?”, he taunted in response. You opened your mouth, ready with your next comeback, but before you were back at each other's throats, Nanaba offered to help you clean up - much to his dismay. But he agreed to it anyway.
The three of you had long conversations as you cleaned. This was the first real social interaction you had with anyone in a while. The last one being the lunch with Suki and Isabel a couple of weeks ago. You blocked most people out after the divorce because you were exhausted with them pitying you or just looking for gossip - both constantly reminding you of your failed marriage. The only ones you willingly saw were Miche and Nanaba, who would check up on you a few times throughout the day and Mikasa, who you spent most of your time working with. She liked to keep to herself which made her the best company for you at this point. Isabel kept in touch with you over the phone, texting to make sure you were okay and also sent you pictures of Luna – just like the one of her eating blueberry pancakes you received a few minutes ago.
Your apartment was spotless within a few hours. As Nanaba left to throw out the last bag of trash, Miche sat next to you on the couch and pulled you into a hug.
“I’m really worried about you.” He sighed. “Can’t you see what you are doing to yourself? You need to give up on that damned alcohol, you idiot. Look at how you’re living.” He moved you by your shoulders to get a better look at your face. “You need to start taking care of yourself again. Go outside and meet people. I know that you have lost all motivation to do that. But please, do it for me? For Luna? It kills me to see you like this.”
You shut your eyes and laid your head on his shoulder trying hard not to cry. You knew Miche cared about you. But he had never directly expressed his concerns to you before. It broke your heart. After taking a few moments to compose yourself, you assured him that you would find the strength to start letting yourself heal again. He hounded you to get out of your apartment and take Suki up on her offer to go shopping that afternoon. He suggested that meeting your old friend might help lift your spirits after he and Nanaba left.
“Okay, okay, I’ll go. But wait. How did you know Suki wanted to go out with me today?”, you narrowed your eyes.
“Umm... Nanaba told me. Now, will you go clean up? You reek.”, he finally responded after doing some thinking and feigned another gag. After you showered and got dressed, the couple dropped you off outside the store and then went their way. You spotted Suki waiting at the entrance, smiling, and waving at you.
“Hello, Maid of Honor! I almost gave up on this plan since I didn’t hear from you all week. I am so glad you made it! I’m really excited!” she said while hugging you tight.
“Me too!”, you miserably failed to mirror her enthusiasm. Your lingering hangover may have been responsible for that.
The two of you entered the store and began browsing through everything she needed. Suki theatrically explained to the attendant what she was looking for while you awkwardly stood to her side. The attendant brought a cart full of clothes for you to sift through and left to bring more as you made yourselves comfortable on one of the many couches present. Suki went on about the plans she had made for her wedding day and how she was so excited to finally marry Furlan.
“I think this color is the closest to the one you just described to me. What do you thi- Suki?” You found yourself talking to no one. The spot on the couch once occupied by was her now deserted.
You looked for her in all the aisles nearby, but to no avail. Just as you whipped out your phone to call her, you spotted her standing behind a rack of bags, gawking at the store entrance with a sheepish smile plastered to her face. What was she even looking at?
“Boo!”, you whispered into her ear, sneaking up behind her.
She yelped and almost fell flat on her face. She analyzed you with an alarmed expression as if trying to figure out what was going on in your head as she steadied herself.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
Once she was convinced that she had not been caught peeping at her fiancé accompanied by an irritated looking man who had just walked in, she pulled you back inside the store by your arm.
“Let's go! I have so much planned for today!”, she squealed.
Chapters: Two | Three | Four
#levi x reader#levi ackerman x fem!reader#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman fluff#levi ackerman angst#levi ackerman fic#levi ackerman imagine#levi ackerman#levi ackerman headcanons#domestic levi#dad!levi#attack on titan#snk#aot fic#aot fluff#aot headcanons#shingeki no kyojin
86 notes
·
View notes
Text
🔞Nsfw alphabet🔞
🍪 06 Billy Lenz 🍪
This was at the beginning just a giant ramble on my part but then I decided to just make it a nsfw alphabet since a lot of the things I already wrote fit under the category's. Because not all 100% fit in it I changed a few things on the templates I found and made more or less one of my own, i guess it's more detailed???
also i feel on one part really fucking awkward and uncomfortable because of the backstory he has :/ I just ignored it hope that's okay UwU
Idk, I hope you guys enjoy it !
Edit: I sadly can't add a under the cut thingy apparantly it's broken on mobile and I'm only on mobile for tumblr. Sorry :(
A = Aftercare (what are they like after sex?)
🍪The after glow makes him feel more vulnerable then the whole act itself, kinda like post nut clarity. Please be soft and gentle with him. Wait a few minutes until he gathered himself and ask if it's okay to touch him.
🍪If he assures you it's okay 👏HUG👏THIS👏MAN👏. A big and gentle bear hug, small kisses around the eyebrows, cheek and forehead, he will MELT in your arms like sweet honey.
🍪He will nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck a bit, you will also hear some soft muttering from him. Nothing that really makes sense, but it's clear that they are small declarations of love.
B = Body part (how is their body build? any favorite body part of them and their partner?)
🍪He has a bit of a belly, enough to squeeze but not enough to get a full hand. He also has a good a amount of muscle, especially on the arm and shoulder area.
🍪To be honest Billy doesn't really have any favorite body part of himself, since the day of his trauma he doesn't really concentrate on how his body is, how it feels, what he likes or doesn't like. But if His s/o has any favorite body part on him and they tell Billy what it is, it will make his day and watches out to keep it healthy and the way his partner likes it.
🍪Billy really likes his partners cheeks and eyes. Your cheeks color themself into a pretty pinkish red when embarrassed or flustered, and your eyes are a gateway to your many emotions, they also have such a pretty, warm and welcoming twinkling in them when you look at him.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum)
🍪More on the translucent type and heavy on the tongue. It is a normal amount and the taste a bit bitter. At first it has a strong taste but fades away quite quickly.
🍪It's also more watery and a bit sticky kinda like honey.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, do they have a dirty secret?)
🍪My guy has bit of a masochistic tendency, he ignores it and doesn't want to talk about it. You will finde out eventually how deep the rabbit hole goes.
🍪He also wishes to be more on the submissive side for Intimacy but his own mind doesn't allow it. The risk on geting a PTSD flashback and panic attack is to high, so it just stays as a fantasy.
E = Experience (do they know what they're doing?)
This is the part I ignore because I fell REALLY uncomfortable about it
F = Favorite position (which position(s) do the like the most?)
🍪He likes it too keep it traditional, plain old missionary style, but anything were he is on top and has full few of your body is good! It will just take some time until he is willing to try new positions.
G = Goofy (are they more serious or do the like to clown around?)
🍪Dead serious, no laughing no joking. If you joke around you can see his distaste on his face, he also makes an annoyed click noise with his tongue and roll his eyes.
🍪It's more because it makes him feel like you don't take it seriously, the way he shows himself for you the amount of trust he shows, it all makes him feel like you don't respect it or take it for granted.
🍪But that doesn't mean you can't laugh around if something awkwardly funny happens, like bumping heads or geting too tangled up. If Billy is in a good mood you might catch a smirk on his face.
H = Hair (any hair down there? How do they groom it?)
🍪The hair is relatively strong and straight, it isn't really long and well kept. It's the same color as the hair on the head.
🍪If it gets too out of hand he will trim it with a razor.
I = Intimacy (how are they during sex in a romantic aspect?)
🍪The hands wander a bit and massages any place Billy can reach (usually the arms and hips). He also always keeps eye contact, you don't need to do it back, but his intense stare will always be on you.
🍪Kisses, gentle touches, him nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck happens quite frequently. He also might stop for a second to admire your beauty.
J = Jack off / Jill off (how do they masturbate and how often?)
🍪He goes straight to it, fast and relatively rough pumps he usually uses his hands but somehow he got his fry fingers on a simple fleshlight, he sometimes uses it.
🍪Will clean up IMMEDIATELY
🍪It's really rare Billy jack's off and often he just ignores the glimpse of horniness he has. So maeby once or twice a month max.
K = Kink (any kinks?)
🍪At the beginning my guy is very vanilla but Billy finds what he enjoys very quickly.
🍪One kink you both indulge is mutual masturbatetion. Sometimes he doesn't feel secure enough for sex so it's a good way to please the need of intimacy. Plus watching his partner touching themself and making a small show for him is really hot.
🍪You have 3 guesses what comes next. Yep it's voyeurism, he isn't that much into it like OG Billy but he still enjoys it nonetheless. Just walk around with barely any clothes and do your usual stuff, you will catch him starring at you from a corner with a heavy blush on his cheeks.
🍪He is also into cockwarming, Billy often keeps his dick inside his s/o for a while after he came. He loves how close it makes him feel towards you and the comforting warmth you give.
🍪Orgasm denial on himself, you don't even need to start it he probably already started it himself, but you can encourage Billy to hold it back longer.
🍪He also enjoys edging, he indulges in it more often then he likes to admit
For some reason I headcanon that he is also into sounding but it's a guilty pleasure of his
L = Location (were do they like to have sex?)
🍪Bed, it's nice warm and comfy. But with some time he also is willing to have sex on the couch.
M = Motivation (what turns them on/gets them going?)
🍪The jaw and back of the ear is a great place to give kisses and soft touches, it's calming and reassuring for him, but also a turn on.
🍪The inner thighs is also a place if you want to turn him on but good god the man has some self control.
🍪Billy absolutely melts when his partner cuddles up to him, he might stiffen up a bit but the cute expression you have and the way you snuggle up to him warms his cold crusty heart (and it also makes his body go brrrrr).
🍪If his partner, like mentioned before, walks around with bairly any clothes, phew, he will lighten up like a Christmas tree.
N= No (what's a turn off/they don't want to do?)
🍪Anything were the consent isn't clear or maeby questionable (consensual noncon).
🍪He also refuses to hurt his partner even if they ask for it, the only thing you might get is a soft slap on the inner thigh if you act bratty.
🍪Billy being submissive is a no too, he needs to be in control and therefore is always the dom.
O = Oral (do they like to give or receive? How is their skill? How do they react during receiving?)
🍪He is really good at oral! The tounge is quite thick and a bit longer then the norm so he reaches all the right places and it will take a really long time until his jaw aches.
🍪It's also a way he pleasures his partner if the needed inner security isn't there, he just goes down on you until you scream in pleasure and beg him to stop.
🍪Billy is a bit embarrassed if you suggest to him to go down, but accepts it after a while of thinking, and let me tell you, he is a MESS.
🍪He really tries to stay calm and stoic, but his heavy breathing and restlessness say otherwise. He also often chokes out a moan and gulps heavily.
🍪When he cums his head falls back and lets out a shameless moan, with a desperate attempt to keep face Billy claps a hand on his mouth to stifle out the moan.
P = Pace (how is their thrusting? Hard, fast, deep ect)
🍪Slow and more on the sensual side but it is clear as day that he is nervous and cramps up. His whole body is tense and in between he just freezes up. Give him time, the best is to mimic his pace.
🍪It's very nice and calming. He might be bad at showing affection but you can feel the passion and love he gives every touch and move. The thrust are slow and rhythmic but also hard and deep.
Q = Quickie (do they like Quickies, if yes how often?)
🍪He doesn't like it, sex is a way to express his love and passion for you it's never about lust, quickies don't give him the time to show you his affection.
R = Risk (any risk their willing to do?)
🍪He can be the bottom if asked, you both need clear instructions on what to do and what not. Safe words is also a must + a lot of Aftercare.
S = Stamina (how long can they go? How long do they last?)
🍪It's usually 2 rounds but they're loooong. Billy's self control is going strong and one round can last up to 30-45 min if you both want to take your precious time. If you both are going hard on the orgasm denial he can last up to a hour.
T = Toys (any toys they like? If yes, what toys do they like on themselves and on their partner?)
🍪He doesn't really have an opinion on them, they exist, he used / tryd out a few but he is kind of meh about it.
🍪The only toy he uses is a see-through simple fleshlight.
🍪Billy is also okay with his s/o using toys on themselves, he encourages it a bit since he's not always able to meet their needs.
🍪If you want him to use toys on you, you need to ask and explain what they do. He knows simple dildos and vibrators but if they don't look like traditional dicks he is lost and doesn't know what it is for / how to use it. (Billy is kinda iffy about bondage stuff and things that can hurt his partner).
Use a sounding rod, but sssshhh you don't have that info from me
U = Unfair (are they a tease? How do they react if teased?)
🍪Sometimes he is a smug bastard that likes to tease you and wait until his partner begs him to continue, especially if he goes down. But that's really it.
🍪If Billy is the one that is getting teased he can take that shit like a champ. But after a while his walls break and he becomes a blushy mess, depending with what you tease him he will look away shyly. But don't go overboard.
V = Volume (how loud are they? What sounds do they make?)
🍪 Billy rarely talks or makes any noise if not non, so you need to learn how to read his body language, it's okay if you don't succeed at the beginning, the man is hard to read.
🍪 The only noise you get from him are deep growly grunts, huff's if you're really good he will choke up a moan.
W = Wild card (random nsfw headcanon(s))
🍪Oof sex going to take a loooooonnnng time until he feels comfy with it. The trauma in his past is the main reason why he feels so conflicted with it.
🍪It probably will take MONTHS when not a year until he feels comfortable with it (and doesn't shove away his horniness) but when it happens it's very spontaneous. Nothing that he plans.
🍪When you both managed to get undress fully, foreplay is a must! Not only can you both learn what is the right place to touch and what not, it's also a good way to show him a positive side of sex and that it isn't just a game of lust.
🍪Also small note here it's normal that he dips out of sex, he could get a flashback or just doesn't feel comfortable with it anymore. If that happens, just give him space maeby a cup of hot chocolate and if he allows it some back rubs to calm down. Assure him it's okay and he doesn't need to pressure himself. You both probably need like 2 or 3 times until it goes to the meat of the things.
🍪Usually a top dom, if you both are together for a longer time he might goes bottom dom, but these moments are rare.
🍪The giving and receiving in general is mostly balanced but honestly only because he needs the reassurance of your love so baldy, if it wasn't for that, he would mostly do the work,(the control it gives him helps to fight against any nervousness and fear that there might be hiding).
🍪So if your a bit of a pillow princess / prince / heir to the throne you got the right partner!
X = X-ray (what's going on under those clothes?)
*cracks knuckles* 'aight, let's fucking go
🍪Billy is shorter then average not by much, but oh boy he is THICK. This makes him roughly about 5,2 inches in length and 6.5 girth when erect.
The avrage American dick is in length 6 inches and girth 5, as comparison
🍪He has two notable veins on the underside, their sensitive so give it a good lick, you will feel him shudder.
🍪His junk also hangs a bit, about a 50° degree angle, it varies a bit depends how aroused he is.
🍪And it is also yellow like the rest of Billy's body, just not that intense and on the tip, it has less of a yellow and more of a caucasian skin color.
Y = Yearning (how high is their libido?)
🍪 He isn't that interested in sex so it's pretty low. I headcanon him as demisexual.
🍪On is own he may have sex once a month or so.
Z = Zzz (how quickly do they fall asleep?)
🍪Billy's s/o will fall asleep faster then him, always. He uses this moment to play with his partners hair or give them a few kisses.
#slashers#slasher#slasher fandom#slasher community#billy lenz#black christmas#black christmas 2006#slasher headcanons#my writing#ns//fw headcanon#ns//fw#gender neutral s/o#gender neutral reader
85 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Owls of Suotamo (WraithxCrypto)
AO3 link: click here
Word count: 5.5k
Ship: WraithxCrypto “cryptaith”
Summary
When Wraith gets on the transport to Suotamo to apologize to Crypto, she never thought it would end like this.
Commission page on my tumblr! And a big thank you to @sigmatauris for beta reading!
Tags: cryptaith, craith, voidhacker, fluff and humor, first date, first kiss, cute, accidental relationship, drinking and talking, friends to lovers, rated t because Wraith says fuck
---
“You find out you have a name, and you don’t even want it?” He’d said.
“What do I want with something I don’t even remember? I’m not Renee, I’m Wraith. That’s who I’ve been for the last six years.”
“Glad you were afforded the luxury of choice,” he’d clipped, moving his arms like he was going to throw his hands in the air, but being they were in his pockets he just ended up flapping his coat. Wraith had laughed—she’d not meant to be mean, but he reminded her of a disgruntled owl fluffing itself. He’d left without a word, and it’d taken her a couple mystified minutes to realize she’d hurt him. Though it was usually the other way around, she went to Elliott to ask what she should do.
“Uh, say sorry?” He’d looked at her like she was stupid. She was, of course, but Wraith hardly let herself think like that. The voices created a rather nasty echo chamber sometimes.
“That’s it?”
“Hey, I’m the one that makes ridiculous grand gestures, not you, remember? It’d be out of character.” He’d grinned.
Wraith had to agree, but nobody knew where Crypto lived—if he lived anywhere at all, really—so she had to wait until the next game. She hated giving out apologies at the best of times, but this time it was particularly nerve wracking. The voices were always a bit scrambled around him, but right now it was almost unbearable. “Hey, I’m sorry about last week.”
He rolled his eyes. Usually she’d ignore him as well, but she felt compelled, which was strange. Were the voices persuading her somewhere in their jumbled madness? Was there a reason?
“It wasn’t what you said.” She added. “I mean, I wasn’t laughing at you.”
He raised an eyebrow. “What were you laughing at?”
“I was—“ The alarm rang for the start of the match. Crypto began to move to join his squad and thinking she might not get the chance again until next week shot an uncharacteristic bolt of panic through her. “Wait!”
He hesitated, just slightly, the alarm ringing again insistently. “Meet me at 6th later, if you care that much.”
“Where the fuck is 6th?”
He joined his squad, not even looking at her. The voices scrambled so hard they became a ringing in her ear. The cherry on top was being matched with two randos and dying before even reaching the last ten.
If there was a God, and they were trying to teach her a lesson for…whatever reason, well, she got the point, alright?
She didn’t stay to watch the livestream, going straight to her tiny apartment and the three screaming furballs that tripped her soon as she entered. She gave them their due pets, replying to their meows with much more enthusiasm than she ever replied to her human family. She got into the shower, breathing deeply.
You guys gonna tell me where 6th is? Has to be a street, right? The voices replied in a jumble of no’s and yes’s. When she tried to clear out what the yes’s were saying, it just came out as, finally, so slow, good, and memory. Odd. She stood in the shower so long thinking about it, she didn’t even realize the water had gone cold. After she shivered her way into a bathrobe, letting her uncombed hair airdry, she started scrolling through all the 6th streets, avenues, roads and boulevards in Solace City, but it didn’t seem right—she didn’t even know if he lived on Solace, they never really talked about their personal lives. She bit her lip, thinking. Did anyone know where he lived? Chatty, a voice whispered. Right, she should text Elliott.
Ugh. For someone who could never shut up face to face, Elliott was one of the most succinct texters she’d ever met. She went ahead and Googled it, finding it about a half-hour from Solace if taking a mega-speed transport. Then she Googled 6th in Suotamo. One street popped up. 6th.
Not 6th Street, not 6th Avenue, just 6th.
Motherfucker.
She pulled on a large, shapeless sweater and leggings, grabbed her keys and phone, and headed to the station. She didn’t really question the fact she was going to all this effort just to apologize. Perhaps some part of her had just figured it was good to have Crypto on her side; word was he had built all sorts of connections, so maybe he could be useful later. Or she just didn’t want to have that awkward conflict when working on a team. It was hard enough watching Loba and Bangalore on the same team, and she didn’t want that kind of disruption on the field—though she didn’t think he was that petty. He was professional, like her, and quiet, unlike 2 of her top 3, which could be nice when Elliott had his chatterbox days.
The longer she spent in the rumbling transport seat, however, the more she let herself admit a creeping truth: maybe she just liked him.
**
Suotamo was all industrialism; skyscrapers and towering housing blocks with tiny balconies and smaller windows. In the twilight, electric signs were flickering to life, making a delightful buzz that dampened the voices and cast a great array of color into the street puddles. Her sneakers clattered over perforated sheet metal laid before the crosswalks as she made her way from 4th Street to 5th Avenue, and finally to 6th. The corner she landed on was directly across from a crusty dirt lot with a chain link fence that had been broken and rolled down on one side like a rug. Down one street was a mass of tall neon signs in Hangul; judging by the smell, it was mostly food. The other side was dilapidated housing and a convenience store whose name was also in hangul. She hugged a streetlight pole, looking around with wide eyes as people passed by.
Yes, she was a professional murderer for a living. But she was also a small woman in a strange city, unarmed, where everyone seemed to speak every language but English.
But her nerves were soon soothed when she saw him across the street. She cocked her head to the side when she processed what he was wearing. All of his usual hacker—y looking necklaces, but instead of that stupid vest he wore all the time it was an oversized gray shirt with a green bomber jacket, also one size too big. Slim black joggers emphasized how skinny he really was, and vans pulled together the city—boy look. It…looked really good on him. And fit in with everyone else in the area. Smart.
He cocked his head back at her, which was how she came to realize she was doing that in the first place. She glanced both ways before jogging over. “Hi.”
“Annyeonghaseyo.” He bent his head, nearly entering a bow. He was wearing a small silver stud in one ear.
“Didn’t know you were into fashion.”
“You think I’d be stupid enough to wear my gear out here?”
“I— it’s just, the only thing I see you in.”
He gave her a once over, possibly a little slower than needed, according to a voice. She told that voice to shut up. “I can say the same for you.” He crossed his arms. “Now, what were you talking about on the dropship?”
Shit, the apology. The entire reason she was there. How had she forgotten that? She’d just sort of focused on the fact they were actually meeting outside of work. “I only laughed because I, uh, because I was picturing you as an angry owl in my head.”
Well. That certainly startled him. “What?”
“Y’know. An owl. Cacaw,” she flapped her arms slightly, realizing she’d been hanging out with Elliott too much. “Like, uh…wait, that’s not an owl noise.”
“Owls hoot.” He said.
She swallowed hard, her stomach twisting around. If it wasn’t for the city noise, she’d be screaming with all the talking going on in her head, beating in tandem with her heart. “I just— when you, you hand your hands in your pockets and kind of flapped them, and your jacket was like, wings, I guess, and I just…saw an angry owl in my head and it was funny. I’m sorry.”
He paused. “What kind of owl?”
“A snowy owl,” she said immediately. “With glasses. I dunno why glasses, you don’t wear them.”
“I do, actually.”
She blinked. “Oh.” A beat. “Can I see?”
He raised both eyebrows. She expected to be rejected—he had to be wearing contacts so why would he even have the glasses with hi—oooookay he had them on him, buried deep in a pocket. Thick black rimmed ones. He popped them on, and warmth burst in her belly as she realized, to her horror, that he was cute.
“I look like a nerd, huh?” There was light amusement in his voice, a rarity. He moved to take them off.
“No!” She said, far too quickly and far too loudly, startling her and him both. “I mean, you look cu—great, you look really good in them.”
He eyed her a moment, slowly lowering his hand. “Really?”
“Really.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets and shifted a little awkwardly, looking off. She stared at her shoes until she heard him clear his throat. He looked down on her, not quite as much as Elliott, but he probably had a good five inches on her. “Do you like noodles?”
“Yeah?”
He shifted again, stance somewhere between a soldier ready for war and an awkward teenage boy. “Do you…want to go get some? I know a good place.”
She was too stunned to really react at all. “Sounds good.”
And like that, they were walking toward the neon signs, side by side. A little further from each other than was probably normal, though when others would pass by on the narrow sidewalk, Crypto would lean in, and she’d get the slightest waft of—holy shit, was that Axe? But it smelled good? Last time she’d smelled Axe she’d gotten a headache because Octavio had used it instead of a shower before a game, but this stuff was crisp, a little lemony, she had to try her best not to inhale loudly whenever he got close.
They came to some little hole in the wall that Crypto had to duck to walk into. Booths pressed as closely together as possible, tables crowding the floor and every seat at a bar filled, faint K—pop weaving around voices and noodle slurping. When they sat at the booth nearest the back, their shoes touched because it was so small. She expected to get a menu, but instead the server came over and said something in Korean to Crypto.
“Do you drink?” He asked.
“Uh, yeah?”
“Like soju?”
“I have no idea what that is.” He shrugged and said something to the waiter. He poured them two glasses of iceless water and left. Crypto pressed himself into the corner of the wall, one leg along the length of the seat, the other on the floor. Wraith also scooched into the corner, she always liked to, and seeing someone else do it made her feel less weird. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything. She fidgeted with her fingers. “Um. So. Weather.”
“I hate small talk.”
“Oh thank God, me too.” She saw it, almost a smile. “Bring up something interesting, you know?”
“Yes, like what kind of owl you are.”
She blushed, looking away. “Shut up.”
“I think you’re a spotted owl.” He sipped his water.
She would never hear the end of it if Elliott had been there, because she perked up like a puppy. “Why?”
“Feels right.”
“Fair enough.” She started sliding the soy sauce bottle between her hands, then glanced up at him and slid it his way. He raised an eyebrow and slid it back. They kept it up while talking. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Do not expect an answer.”
“Just…what to call you. Besides Crypto.”
He warmed the soy sauce bottle with his hands before passing it back. Monkey brain Wraith had the passing thought that it was almost kind of sort of not really like holding hands. “Hyeon. It’s not my…real name.”
She nodded. “I figured. You gotta be cautious, even if they know, to a point.”
He sat up a little, some part of him smoothing out; Wraith couldn’t see it, but she could sense it. The voices, so scattered, like TV static, reduced themselves to a buzz in the back of her head. “Yah. I do.”
The soju came first. A green bottle and two shot glasses, which Crypto—Hyeon? She’d keep Crypto mentally, for now—he poured while saying, “Youngest pours first, traditionally. And you pass it with two hands and take it with two hands.” He held the shot glass and passed it to Wraith, who made sure to use both hands. He seemed entertained. “You don’t have to do it that way every time, though.”
“That’s fascinating,” she said, truthfully. “Why so specific?”
“All relates to the old ways things were done, back on Earth. So many cultures got jumbled together in the Frontier, but at least in Sutoamo, Koreans have kept most of theirs.” He paused before knocking back the shot like a professional. Elliott would be eating his hat if he was there. “It’s traditional not to sip the first shot.”
She raised an eyebrow—the corner of his mouth was twitching, thinking of smiling. He was enjoying this. Well, she was too. She braced herself and knocked back the whole thing, surprised by the flavor—a bit like a sweet vodka, with a hint of strawberry. She almost didn’t cough. “Wow, that’s something.”
“You like it?”
“I think I do.”
He smirked and poured for her again, then himself, sipping this time. “You’re not supposed to leave a friend’s glass empty, either.”
She smelled it—sweet, crisp. Definitely strawberry. “So, we’re friends?”
He seemed to think a moment and downed that shot as well before speaking. “I’ll consider it. At the very least I don’t look so sad drinking with someone else for once.” From the look on his face, that was soju—fueled word vomit. “It’s just against tradition to drink alone, people think there’s something wrong with you,” he added hastily.
“Right.” She didn’t get a chance to screw that up as a bowl of steaming noodles was placed in front of her. They were dark glass noodles, and there were vegetables, and meat. That’s all she knew. The waiter also gave her a fork, but not Crypto.
“Japchae,” he said, snapping apart the wooden chopsticks. “It’s usually a side—dish, but it’s all they make here. It’s a stir fry.”
“Hell yeah.” That actually got a chuckle out of him, and she knew it wasn’t just the soju making her feel warm. Her focus was stolen by the food, however, as she was starving, and anything fried and/or noodles made for a very happy Wraith. She stirred it all up, a bed of rice hidden underneath it, and started shoving sweet and savory into her face. Crypto was no better. Between the japchae and soju they talked, Crypto’s words flowing with fewer pauses, no clipped edges, smooth and cool. Once they finished the bottle bubbles of laughter began to escape between his lips.
He was acting like…a normal dude, for the most part. Telling her about more Korean drinking traditions, all of which seemed centered on getting everyone at the table drunk as quickly as possible. Mentioning his other favorite places to eat, but all of them were Korean names she couldn’t comprehend, let alone pronounce. They ordered another bottle and he served again, hand steady, aim…slightly off, but Wraith just wiped up the spot. The warmth of company and drink was enough to rile up a little courage in her, risk trying for actual personal questions. “Do you have any pets?”
“Huh? Ah, yah. Heh. I have a cat.”
She grinned. “I have three.”
“Show me.” He leaned forward, and she pulled up pictures of her trio, a white Persian, a tortoiseshell, and a Siamese. “Bubbles, Blossom and Buttercup.”
“Oh, like the show?”
“Yeah, I love it.” She bit her lip, smiling sheepishly. “I uh, love cartoons.”
He snorted, tapping the corner of his glasses. “I can still name every Pokémon. All of them.”
She laughed. “Show me your cat.”
He pulled out his phone, scrolled and then held up a picture of an orange striped behemoth. Wraith almost squealed. “He’s so cute!”
“Tofu. My trash son.”
“Why is he your trash son?”
“I found him in the trash. Little kitten,” he leaned to the side funny while showing how small with his hands. “Was eating old tofu skins out of a takeout box. So, Tofu. It’s his favorite food, too.” He looked down at the photo. “Jibang. Fatty.”
“Perfect fatty.”
“Yah.”
They got halfway through the second bottle before finishing their meals. Crypto paid with cash and swiped the bottle of soju on the way out. It was fully night now, a humid chill pressing against her skin. The street was lit by a mixture of streetlamps and neon light as the nightlife took flight. She glanced over to see Crypto swigging straight from the bottle. Soon as he caught her eye he snorted and pulled the bottle away with a half—clumsy sidestep, arm over his nose as his chest shook with restrained laughter. She stopped to stare at him, grinning stupidly, though she didn’t know it. Alcohol had a wonderful voice dampening affect. “Caught you,” she said.
A giggle escaped into his sleeve. Red splashed over his cheeks and nose, bright in the streetlights. “I think I’ve drank too much. I’m going to say something I shouldn’t.”
“Probably just do something stupid, like drink straight from the bottle. What if I want some more, huh?” She said this all teasingly. She’d never been like this with anyone but Elliott.
He grinned, the most she’d ever seen from him, and it was silly, and light, and beautiful, and he held the bottle by the lip and swung it idly. “Guess it’s too bad, huh?”
Too bad her ass. She swiped it and drank without hesitation. She relished the look on his face and did something quite unlike herself, holding out the bottle and tapping the lip to his chin. “You still want some?”
Slowly he took it, cocking his head to the side, which she copied, and sipped. Then passed it back to her, walking side by side, mirrors of themselves in the earlier evening, but closer, and warmer. She imagined the sweet strawberry to be the taste of kissing him, and the chill wet press of the night air against her skin his hand. She felt like it would be clammy. Or would it be warm and firm—the same feeling as a hand she’d held a lifetime ago, the memory of another Wraith threading it through the crinkles of her brain.
It didn’t matter, she decided, what that old hand had felt like, just like it didn’t matter what her old name had felt like on her lips or sounded coming from another’s. The now mattered, the now and the to—be. And while the to—be was still blurry and a little scary, the now was warm and hazy, it made no sense at all and she loved it. She took the last sip as they came to the convenience store she saw earlier, and both stopped, staring at the blinding white around the sign letters. They looked at each other and came to the mutual decision to get drunk snacks.
The lights were almost painful, and the shelves, while hosting the expected candy and chips, were also filled with an erroneous amount of instant ramen, teas and drinks with cubes of jelly in them, gimbap, bibimbap, banchan and a surprising variety of meat on sticks for…some reason. She recognized some things and not others, leading to the two of them standing in one of the middle isles while Crypto drunkenly talked about a sandwich, which you were supposed to bring up front to be cooked. The one he was holding was strawberry jam and cream cheese. Wraith wasn’t sure she trusted it, but they ended up getting it, along with some type of Japanese chips and a handful of other things that two drunks thought sounded good. They stepped out and Wraith looked at their bag. “Hyeon, where are we going to eat this?”
Crypto looked around, rubbing at his face. The synthetic skin crinkled like the normal skin, which she hadn’t expected. She’d always thought of it like metal plating. He nodded towards the sketchy ass dirt lot. For some reason that seemed like a good idea, and so Wraith sat on a cinderblock in the outskirts of a streetlamp with a guy who a few hours ago had been little more than someone to talk to between matches, half—drunk and rifling through a bag of food she only vaguely recognized. Some inkling of a voice seemed to suggest that this was a bad idea in one universe, but two or three threaded together to tell her they were safe, even if it didn’t seem like it.
She did feel safe with him, there was just something about him, the longer she spent in his air. She really didn’t know too much about him, just that he had a lot of open secrets with the Syndicate, and that Caustic was under a gag order regarding his real identity, since they were both from Gaea, but otherwise he thought Mirage was an idiot and didn’t talk to people outside of the ring. Except for you, a voice reminded her, a gentle nudging tone to it. It made her heart skip a beat when he passed her one of the strange jelly drinks.
“It’s called Mogu—Mogu. Means “to chew” in Japanese,” he said.
“Do you speak that too?” She sipped it and, yeah, she was definitely chewing it. She didn’t know how she felt about chewing her drink, but the flavor was good.
“No. My sister was just obsessed with these.” He stopped, a drop in the mood so sudden she could almost hear it. She’d heard rumor about his sister having passed. The voices suggested nefarious things had happened. “She got them every day before class. When we had money.”
She swallowed. “It is pretty good.”
“Yah.” He rolled his shoulders, staring off. She continued sipping, the cinderblock suddenly uncomfortable, the chill almost too much, the neon blue glow over low, old industrial buildings to their back metamorphosizing from lively to sinister. But all at once that was pulled away again when he sighed and readjusted himself, looking up at the sky. It was a big expanse of dark blue fog, not a star to be seen. Solace was the exact opposite. “Wraith?”
“Yeah?”
“I miss her.”
She adjusted herself, staring at the drink. At a loss, she offered it to him. And that’s when she saw it, breaking to the surface, cracking through layers and layers: a smile, for real. Not for fun, but something brighter, from somewhere deeper. It felt like being shown the inside of a treasure chest. He took the drink, sipped it, and breathed deeply. “I’m going to say something stupid.”
“Okay.”
He half—laughed. “You’re not even going to try and stop me?”
“Nah.”
He laughed fully, and even that felt realer than it had earlier. “Well. Well,” he swallowed, and sipped the drink, seeming to steel himself. “I…Taejoon Park.”
She understood immediately—his real name. And no wonder Caustic was on a gag order, because that name had reached Solace, Gridiron, and even Talos. The voices began to gather and flood her with information—the admission had been a catalyst. Taking a moment to collect herself, she picked the sandwich out of the bag, broke it at the seam created by the panini press, and offered him half. He furrowed his brow but took it. “I like it,” she said.
“What?”
“Your name. Taejoon. It fits you.”
He blinked, looking at the sandwich, then back at her again. His mouth was fallen in confusion, and he was squinting at her. Like a mole that had surfaced into the daylight. A very cute mole. “You, uh, you don’t recognize it?”
“I recognize it. And I know what you did,” she gestured at her head, and his eyes widened.
“I didn’t. I n—never would.”
“I know,” she said, and she hoped he could tell how much she meant it. There was still alcohol warmth in her cheeks, but her mind was clearer than it had been. “They fucked you completely.”
He swallowed. “I haven’t said my name in…I don’t remember when.”
“Can I keep calling you it? Not in front of the others.”
He seemed to think, and she hoped part of his thoughts were on what she was insinuating—that they’d meet again, outside the ring, outside the dropship. “Please,” he said finally.
She grinned, and so did he, before taking a huge bite of the sandwich, chewing a moment, and then letting out a bark of laughter and falling from his cinderblock into the dusty lot ground, sandwich resting on his chest. He started giggling and Wraith stood to look down at him, chewing, committing the way the orange edges of streetlight cast a brassy gleam on his ruddy cheeks to memory. Is this the memory the voice was mentioning? “Dude?”
Taejoon giggled again, back of his hand hiding his mouth. “I haven’t felt this light in years.”
That makes me so happy. “I’m glad.” She said.
His cheeks moved, his hidden grin wider. He pointed with his other hand. “You have jam on your face.”
“Huh?” She leaned down, because his hand had muffled his words, and suddenly his thumb was at the corner of her mouth, pressing and swiping.
“Jam,” he said, resting the tip of one long finger at the corner of her mouth. “Right there.”
“Oh.” She whispered. Neither moved for a moment, and then, guided by desire or a silent voice, she wasn’t sure, Wraith simultaneously lowered herself to her knees while Taejoon pushed himself up on his elbow. Do it, do it, do it, said a chorus of voices. “If you want to do something else stupid,” she said, “I’d do it now.”
His eyes scanned her face, the sharpness dulled by drink, but not the longing. “I don’t know if it is too risky.”
“Might be riskier not to,” she whispered.
“I don’t know…”
“Taej—!” He leant up and kissed her, quickly, almost a peck, and then again. Not like any of the nasty suck—the—air—out—of—your—lungs kisses she saw in movies, but a warm press of the lips, three seconds as most, fueled by want and wish and fuck—it—ness. Not that she’d kissed a lot of people, two to be exact, but it was still quite possibly the best kiss she’d ever had, for reasons that would crowd a page. She realized the memory the voice had mentioned wasn’t the gleaming light on his cheeks, but now, when he looked up at her, eyes huge with awe that he’d actually done it, biting his lip against a nervous little smile. Glasses crooked. “You,” she started, licking over her lower lip, tapping the glasses into place, “you taste like strawberries.”
“So do you,” he breathed. “T—This isn’t just the soju, right?”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
“Me either.”
“So this—“
“It’s a thing.” He said.
“A good thing.”
“It is?”
“I think it is. You don’t?”
“I do,” he said, finally sitting up. She grabbed hold of his hand, and she had been completely wrong—it wasn’t clammy, but warm, dry, rougher than she guessed. “But, well, I’m kind of a disaster.”
“You’re talking to an interdimensional freakshow,” she said.
“You’re not a freakshow.”
She smiled a little. “Interdimensional gremlin disaster then.”
He snorted, turning to face her, back to the light. He tilted half into her and then pulled himself up again, steadying with a hand to her shoulder. “You’re not a very steady drunk, are you.”
“Nope,” he said with absolutely zero hesitation. She chuckled. She felt his hand move to hover hesitantly by her cheek, and she looked at him while she leaned into it. He breathed deeply and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear like in one of Elliott’s shitty romcoms she might have secretly enjoyed. The voices were a joyful thrum in the back of her head. Heh, maybe having cheerleaders is fun sometimes. Wraith held on to that moment, against the dark and the uncertainty of what she was supposed to do—there wasn’t exactly a social guideline of what to do after kissing your coworker in an empty lot following what could be a life ending confession, if she was anyone else.
Some part of her decided they at least should be standing, and, being the far steadier of the two, she reluctantly left his hand and ended up helping him to his feet, giggling a bit as he stumbled into her. He smiled shyly, running a hand through his hair while she grabbed their bag of half eaten goods. She knew he was watching her, and when she turned back to him, he was frowning. “What’s wrong?”
“I…am serious, about, ah, being a disaster. I mean, I’m wanted for murder. I have prices on my head for more than that, on three planets at least. The Syndicate has let me live so far but…” He sort of shrugged. “I don’t know how long that will last.”
She paused. “What was your plan, when you joined the Games?”
“Take them down. The whole organization.”
“But you didn’t.” She felt a nudging near her temple, a sort of confirmation in her thoughts. “You got to know us.”
“I did. I thought you were all monsters, but…well, Gibraltar, he’s just trying to help people he…cares about.” His shoulders slumped and he angled his head toward the sky, breath condensing like dragon smoke. “Lifeline, too. Bangalore needs money to find her family, Pathfinder is looking for his creator, and even Witt, with his mother and, and you…” He looked back at her. “You just want to figure out who you are.”
“It’s all I’ve ever known,” she confirmed.
“And knowing that, I don’t know if I can just…destroy it, without leaving something for…for people who…” He held up a hand, wavering, and then dropped it. “I just don’t know.”
It looked like it pained him, physically, to admit that. She also highly doubted he’d have admitted it if he was even half an inch more sober. She thought carefully before offering her hand, which he took. She half pulled him along to the rolled fence, clambering up and out like they had earlier. “I don’t care if it’s dangerous to be around you,” she said.
“I don’t want someone else getting hurt,” he said.
“You’re trying to drive me off, aren’t you?”
“I think so.”
“Well, you shouldn’t have kissed me if you wanted to do that.” She smiled just slightly. In the full lamplight, he looked doubly as shy as he had earlier.
“I did do that, huh.”
“You did.”
He cursed in Korean, and she chuckled. They held hands as they walked; they moved through the nightclub and food stall crowds like blood in water, swirling and dipping, unnoticed in the menagerie of humanness. “So, you’re saying I’m stuck with you?” He asked as they bled back into the dim night.
“I’m saying I’m willing to work with the whole ‘wanted criminal’ aspect.”
“Mm.” Taejoon was quiet then, from there to the transport station. It wasn’t awkward, like how it could be with Elliott or Path, but more like with Natalie. A subject was left hanging, but that was fine. Silence fosters thought, mon ami, and with that comes some shocking revelations…get it?
God Nat, I love you, you little pun goblin.
They stopped at the transport station, and Wraith bought a ticket from the kiosk and headed to where the other three people stupid enough to be out that late were boarding. She turned to Taejoon when the doors creaked open, taking both his hands, the bag at her elbow. She felt a tingling nervousness in her toes at the words pushing her tongue to move, to speak. “So, we’re going to do this? Try this…as something?”
He squeezed her hands, biting his lip and boy howdy did that make her feel some things. “Yeah,” he said, softly, “lets make this something.”
She grinned, all a flutter as she popped up on her toes and kissed him. This must be what people mean when they say they feel like a kid, she thought, almost skipping away to the transport, calling to the mildly surprised Taejoon that she’d see him at the next game. She found a seat and for once in her memory fidgeted not in pain or discomfort or anxiety but in utter jiggly joy. She chanced a last look back as the transport lulled out of the station, pressing her face to the glass sealed in preparation for space travel in order to see him.
Taejoon was still staring at the transport, hands idle in the air where she’d held them. Then, slowly, he pumped his fists into the air and twirled around, grinning like he’d won a championship.
#apex legends#wraith#renee blasey#crypto#taejoon park#cryptaith#craith#accidental relationship#drinking & talking#first kiss#cute#voidhackers#fluff and humor#first dates#friends to lovers#apex fanfic#apex legends fanfic#fanfiction#oneshot
15 notes
·
View notes
Note
linocut anon here. my fingers are fine, but this was definitely the worst ive accidentally stabbed myself while doing a cut! gonna buy some cut proof gloves today. sucks about the publisher doing that. if you dont mind me asking, whats the novella called? id love to read it.
Follow up to this post.
I’m glad your fingers are okay, anon! Cut proof gloves definitely sound like a good idea! My thumb has sort of half-healed at this point? I took the bandage off yesterday and it’s blistered around the cut, so it’s pretty gross, haha. I....probably should’ve gone to hospital instead of fixing it myself because I am 100% sure it needed stitches, but alas.
And yes! I’m happy to share! Sorry I didn’t earlier – I wanted to wait until the publisher fixed the spelling of my surname, because I get enough confusion about it already (mostly because people think it’s a joke, haha, RIP me).
It’s called Drift and it’s only about 8k words. In it, a young woman is going through a difficult time, having just been made redundant at her job and hitting a rough patch with her boyfriend who’s overseas on a trip they were supposed to be going on together before she lost her job, but then she discovers that her new housemate can levitate and becomes obsessed with learning how to do it herself at the detriment of everything else in her life.
It’s basically an extended metaphor for procrastination, haha.
You can buy it as an ebook for $3 here if you’re interested. I’ve put the first scene behind a cut though in case you want to read that first!
-
So they pour another drink, something sweeter this time, blush pink and syrupy that’ll sit thick on their teeth by morning. Hest grimaces at the taste before leaning over to try and swap it for Annie’s beer. It’s no good though – even dead asleep, Annie’s grip is tight.
“I kind of like it,” the New Girl says, snapping her lips and wiping the dust from the shoulders of the bottle. They’d found it somewhere under Hest’s bed, in a forgotten pile of crusty knickers, ripped off dress tags and sun-bleached receipts. She can’t remember where she got it from, or even when, which probably isn’t the best sign. She hasn’t drunk this sort of thing since high school.
“I feel like I’m drinking some Alice potion shit, y’know?” New Girl continues. “Like it’s about to go all Wonderland up in here.”
“The potion doesn’t take Alice to Wonderland,” Hest replies, sighing when Annie yawns and rolls over, taking the beer with her and spilling it all over their ugly carpet in the process. “It makes her tiny, and then she almost drowns in her own tears.”
The New Girl seems to consider this, turning the thought over in her thoughtful head. Not that Hest knows if she’s thoughtful. Not yet anyway. She only moved in two days ago, and Hest and Annie’s luck with social-media-tree flatmates hasn’t exactly been great. At least New Girl had paid two weeks in advance and didn’t give off a totally drug fucked vibe.
“Do you watch anime?”
Not totally drug fucked vibe.
Hest squints in New Girl’s general direction.
“What?”
“Anime. Sailor Moon, Pokemon, Dragonball. Those Japanese cartoons.”
At Hest’s look, New Girl continues.
“There’s a subgenre of it, right? It’s called Magical Girl, and it’s like, transformative, you know? It’s school girls who are usually total wet blankets, and have like, nerd friends and they’ll find a wand or an eyelash curler or a magical moon cup, and as soon as they use it, they become this amazing warrior princess, destined to save the universe.”
A car drives past the window, briefly lighting up the room, casting an eerie glow across the two of them, and it almost makes Hest want to snuff the candles. To let all this light swallow her whole right before the darkness does. Or, well. Maybe not. Maybe she’s just trying to play at romantic. Make this dimness a choice, instead of a fact of not being able to pay an electricity bill. Her eyes slip shut. She rubs briefly, furiously, at the bridge of her nose.
“Point?”
It takes New Girl a minute to respond, and it’s enough for Hest to finish her sugar piss champers and pour herself another. Annie’s snoring now, softly, the sound more of a hoarse, humming breath than anything, and Hest has to resist the urge to shove her awake. This whole thing had been Annie’s idea anyway, a night to welcome New Girl into the fold, to try and curb some of the issues they’d had with the last flatmate, who always bitched that Annie and Hest left her out, which, to be fair, they did. Often deliberately.
She was really annoying.
“I don’t know,” New Girl says with a laugh, shrugging. She scrunches up her nose, holds the bottle up. “This kind of feels like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like a magic girl thing.”
Hest snorts.
“What?”
“What?”
New Girl squints, mirroring the look Hest had given her not two minutes earlier.
“You made a noise.”
New Girl’s tone is sharp, and it’s enough to surprise Hest. Even after just two days of knowing her, it doesn’t seem like her. New Girl, with her ratty, faded pink bob, and enormous doe eyes and boyish form has seemed sort of effortlessly chill and effortlessly cool and also neurotic and high strung, but in a sort of chill, cool way. Like Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind had had a baby with Steve Buscemi in Ghost World and it kind of, somehow, ended up looking like every character Zoe Kazan has ever played in a movie.
“Magic girl thing,” Hest supplies, waving out an aimless hand. “You sound like you walked out of a teenager’s tumblr blog.”
“Saying tumblr blog just shows your age,” New Girl says. “It’s just tumblr.”
“Funny, I thought actually knowing the plot of Alice in Wonderland showed it more.”
New Girl rolls her eyes at that, and at least it’s enough to make Hest laugh.
“Whatever,” New Girl says. “You’re not even that old. Like - - whatever. All I’m saying is, like. Magic, y’know?”
Hest laughs, quip ready on her tongue, only there’s New Girl, sitting, somehow, a foot off the floor, her legs stretched out in the open air, her hair floating, impossibly, around her head.
“Magic,” one of them repeats, Hest isn’t sure who.
#my writing#writing#welcome to my ama#rl#the cover still makes me upset haha#especially because that shade of green was my school uniform colour for a while#Anonymous
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
“Broken” (10 of 10)
Book: The Royal Romance (After Book Three)
Pairing: Bastien Lykel x OFC Rinda Parks
Word Count: 1,974
Rating: M for Language, Dealing with Death, Reference to an Assassination and Violent Death
Triggers: Death, Assassination, Dealing with the Grief of a Loved One
Author’s Note: Thank you to all the amazing artists whose work got me through a *really* long semester and TRR break. Chapters are named after songs I was listening to at the time because I’m real original like that. This one is “Broken” by Seether, featuring Amy Lee.
*Obligatory disclaimer that Pixelberry Studios owns the TRR characters and my pocketbook with those darn diamond scenes. OFC with all of her quirks is all mine. My apologies if Tumblr or I do something stupid when I try to post this.
Summary: After Rinda heard Bastien playing “J’envoie Valser”(to read it click here) she went back to her classroom to reflect on “just a stone.” She and Bastien begin to open up to each other a little more, and the slow burn will continue after this series with some lighter, fluffier fiction.
Rinda was sitting at her desk daydreaming. Her engagement and wedding rings were off and she rocked them back and forth with her fingers before absently twirling them on her desk and watching them fall over. The engagement ring was an emerald. Diamonds felt so cliché and she wanted something different, something that was unique to her. Jameson always did that. Those things that made her feel special, that were specific to them and not what society or a Hallmark holiday required.
But then again, diamonds were forever. Is that why it happened? Because she didn’t want a diamond? They had their happily ever after, but it didn’t last forever. Not even close.
Rinda studied her rings in the light. Before the wedding Rinda sent her rings to the jeweler so he could solder together the two bands. She figured she’d be less likely to lose them that way. Or more likely to lose both of them at once. It was all or nothing. It was always all or nothing for Rinda, at least when it came to love. Her finger felt so bare the week before the wedding and she never again wanted to feel like she did then, incomplete without his ring on her finger. She couldn’t wait for their wedding day when she would see it again. The fused engagement and wedding bands, the ring that Jameson would slip back on her finger as they promised their faithfulness until death do us part.
The emerald in her engagement ring was small and it had an imperfection in it. But it was from Jameson, and it was everything. After their engagement Rinda overheard a friend commenting on her ring, how it was so small and Jameson couldn’t even afford a diamond. Rinda felt betrayed, but instead of confronting her friend she just walked away and never brought it up again. Not even to tell Jameson. When they had their ten-year anniversary and Jameson wanted to buy her an upgrade Rinda adamantly refused. There was so much love in that ring—it was exactly what she wanted. Jameson was exactly what she wanted, and the jewel was just a stone.
Just a stone. All those years Grandma Lorinda had been singing it to her grandpa and Rinda didn’t know. Maybe her grandma did that on purpose—never translated the song because it was so special for just the two of them.
Rinda sighed. She wished her grandma were here. She would have loved Jameson. Maybe that’s why Rinda was so emotional today, after hearing the song and having Bastien tell her what it meant. Her grandma was such a romantic. So was Jameson. But it was over, and no one could replace him.
Just a stone. Then why couldn’t she take off her wedding ring, put it away, and move on? She could remember Jameson without the ring. It was just a fucking stone that was weighing her down.
. . . . .
Bastien left his office and started walking to Rinda’s classroom. There was something about their earlier conversation with the song, and he wanted to talk to her again. He stopped outside her door and saw that she was holding her wedding ring, staring at it blankly with tears in her eyes. Suddenly Rinda looked up. How did she do that? How did she always sense when he was there? “Rinda, are you okay?”
Rinda shrugged. “I’ve been better. How about you? Come on in and grab a chair.” She slid her wedding ring back on and wiped her eyes as Bastien sat down. He leaned over and touched her ring, careful to only touch the stone, not her finger. “Thinking about Jameson?”
Bastien and Rinda were becoming closer, but there were still topics that they avoided. Jameson was one of them. Rinda would occasionally mention him when a memory was too strong to keep to herself, but Bastien never purposely asked Rinda about him. He instinctively knew that was off limits, but tonight felt different.
She nodded. “I’m thinking about the song you were playing, Bastien. And it got me thinking about Jameson and why I still wear my wedding ring.” She took a deep breath. “Thank you for not pressuring me, asking for more information when I would mention him. There are so times that I want to talk about him, but it’s so private and it takes me so long to truly open up to a person. Not the words that explain what happened, but the words that describe my feelings about it.” Bastien nodded.
“After it happened, for the first month or two, I really don’t remember anything. Just the constant feeling of pain and emptiness. But after the second month, when I could actually start thinking beyond surviving second by second, my friends and therapist came up with a timeline of goals. Stepping stones that I could work toward, cross off a list. Some of it was pretty straight forward. Clean out closets and donate his clothes. Stop sleeping with the shirt that smelled like him. Well, actually, the first step was to let someone WASH the shirt. There was a really big fight over that—a disgusting, crusty shirt that hadn’t been washed in two months. But the compromise was that if I let my friends wash the shirt, I could still sleep with it for another month even though it didn’t smell like him anymore. Seriously, I was insane with grief and I don’t know how my friends and family put up with my bullshit. I guess they realized that I had to keep it together for Henry, so I needed to have my own extreme hidden crazy so I could grieve without Henry knowing how bad it was.” She looked at Bastien, but his face remained neutral, so she continued.
“Anyway, I had it built up in my head that a year and a day would be the big thing. The one-year anniversary would be hell, and it was, but then that next day I would flip a switch and there would be a reset. Like how people back in the day had to be in mourning for a year, and then you stop wearing black clothes 366 days later and it’s all supposed to be good and you’re allowed to continue with your life.
“Yeah, it didn’t work that way. I was seriously putting all my eggs in one basket, lying to myself that at 366 it would be okay. And I think that ultimately fucked me up more than it helped me.
“So the two-year goal, which has been decided for me, is for me to take off my wedding ring and put it away. No clue where I’m supposed to put it away to. My jewelry box where I’ll still see it every day? Store it in a safe deposit box and pray Henry doesn’t want to give it to his bride because then the pain will come back? Maybe I’m supposed to leave it in a cab or throw it in the ocean? I don’t know.
“Anyway, ‘just a stone.’ I can’t get that phrase out of my head. It’s just a stone and Jameson—what we had—is so much more than that. Being with him WAS the real treasure. But I’m still stuck with this ring that I don’t want to take off my finger, this stone that I can’t let go of, even though I know it’s weighing me down and keeping me from moving on.”
Rinda rubbed her forehead and gave a deep sigh. She leaned back in her chair, returning Bastien’s even gaze. “So, Bastien, what’s new with you?” she asked sarcastically.
Then she looked at him and spoke quietly. “What made you want to listen to that song? I’m so sorry I intruded on that moment, but was there a special reason that you thought of her tonight?”
Bastien stared into her eyes. He could ignore her question. Rinda always let him get away with that. She knew better than to chip away at him, even though it was happening anyway. Maybe that was her way of doing it. Asking, making him remember, but not forcing him to share. Then he could sift it through in his mind, compartmentalize it, and process it when he was ready. Maybe he was ready now.
“Rinda, remember earlier today when you were telling me how strange it was on your first day of teaching high school, to be the one at the front of the room, on the other side of the desk? And how it hit you that even though you weren’t much older than the students, you were the adult in the room that they all looked to, even though you weren’t ready for it?” Rinda nodded. “Well, you asked me about the first time it hit me that I was the one in charge, when it was time for me to be the adult and there was no going back. I didn’t answer you, but I knew exactly what you meant, and I knew the exact moment it happened.”
Bastien looked over at Rinda’s desk, eyeing up the squish ball that she played with when she had trouble focusing. He grabbed it and began rolling it between his hands. Rinda narrowed her eyes—he never fidgeted—but she said nothing. “She was the King’s mother. I mean Liam’s mom. She was beautiful, kind . . .” Bastien blushed and focused on watching the ball squish and release in his hands. “I was only 24 and a junior guard, but her personal guard was my mentor, so I worked near her a lot. I saw parts of her personal life, how she was as a mother and a wife, and I . . .”
Rinda nodded, understanding what he wasn’t able to say.
Bastien gave her a strained smile before continuing. “Jackson, my mentor. He was always the one in charge, the one that I followed and the one that I went to for advice.” Bastien paused, his right foot beginning to bounce uncontrollably. He dropped the ball to press his hands down on his knee, trying to stop his entire leg from shaking. Rinda reached down to grab the ball and then rolled her chair next to Bastien’s so they wouldn’t make eye contact. She placed her left hand over his, trying to help him stop the involuntary shaking. When he regained control she removed her hand from his and returned the squish ball to him. Rinda kept her chair next to his, but she shifted away so they were still close, but no longer touching.
“There was an assassination attempt. There was an assassination.” Bastien leaned forward to set the toy back on Rinda’s desk and he put his hand back on his thigh, lightly brushing his hand against Rinda’s. She gently placed her hand back on his, but he slid his hand from under hers and rested it on top, interlocking their fingers, feeling the smooth edge of the emerald on her engagement band.
“She died, Rinda. Jackson was closest to her and he threw himself in front of her, but they were both shot. They were both . . .” Rinda was unsure of what to do, so she just sat quietly and kept holding his hand, hoping it was enough.
“I called for reinforcements and I shot one of the assassins, but the others got away. I remember crawling to the Queen, pulling Jackson off her, trying to get her to safety, but it was already too late. When the other guards came they secured the room and asked for their orders. I looked to Jackson, wondering why he didn’t answer them, but then I realized. Jackson was dead and they weren’t asking him. They were asking me.”
A/N Click here to to read “Duty,” the story that (chronologically) immediately follows this.
23 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
sissykaylee
sissy kaylee
mickmundy
"lady luck? she's always on time."
quiesphere
quiesphere
perseidipity
Kay's Art Blog
deekbatt
Best Trackball Mouse