#very rambley oops | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pawnshopsblue · 2 years

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hello love xx 5 15 32 for writing please xx

hi bb!! <3

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

okok my biggest one is that writing about something is always better after experiencing it, for ex living in a specific city or getting zooted. like my perspective on the latter changed so much after i'd actually done it (w my friends whose reactions have also been super inspiring lmao) & now i write it so much better. so now there are so many things i won't write about until i actually go through them bc i don't wanna cheapen/tarnish/dilute(?) the idea until i actually live through it so that it comes out as close to perfect as possible. (like by experiencing this Thing ill KNOW its intricacies and nuances and ill be able to write them with all the oomph they deserve) its so stupid but i literally won't do it

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

yeah!!! literally yes!! its not insightful margin notes its just ideas i remember/link to the writing but yes i do it. my books are well-loved and it SHOWS & i love ppl who have books like that bc its sort of like getting to poke at someone's thought process, like how they read and what spoke most to them and just how they exist in general (like someone who dog ears vs someone who bookmarks) etcetc i believe it says a lot ab someone's character. however i despise sticky notes bc they remind me of studying for ib bio&ib english. hard no from me. anything else tho is very <333 !!! (&and i love creased spines.) the only sign of wear on a book i don't like is when the sides of pages get all wonky(?) idk how to explain it but it looks like the book was put in a paper shredder for a second then taken out.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

from howl by allen ginsberg: who were expelled from the academies for crazy & publishing obscene odes on the windows of the skull. discovered this one by watching gilmore girls lmao (literati my beloved) but anyway its important to me for two reasons: 1) im always thinking about the thin line between reverence and contempt for a work of art. like when does it cross from genius to psycho? when does the public stop respecting and admiring an artist's work and start to despise it instead? when does it stop being groundbreaking and become obscene? anyway that's my slightly skewed interpretation of this line & its v personal to me. 2) the academic world praises "revolutionary" discoveries but only when they're circles and fit into the idea of society as it is. anything that encourages ppl to think outside the box is immediately shut down which is so ick? idk if i explained this all correctly. anyway i love this line (this poem. i think it rewired my brain) & its one of the few bits of literature i actually have committed to my fish memory so

weird questions for writers

#writers ask game #none of this makes sense i was just typing the thoughts as they come to me lmao #very rambley oops

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howdy-folks-its-showtime · 11 months

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Meet The Mods: Mod Whirly!

Howdy! I'm Whirly or Cobalt, both names work though Cobalt is usually the name I use for my sonas. Speaking of Sonas look at the LOVELY batim-sona my partner Roddy designed for me!! Such a talented boyfriend I have truly. They got my vibe down so well and gave me such gender~ I always loved the lost ones designs so it just felt fitting for me to be one.

Brief backstory time! I'm the writer and original artist behind It's Showtime, I wrote the original bits of story for it probably about 5 years ago, around when BATIM first released. It's Showtime basically started out as just my own predictions and theories for how Batim would go, but as it continued I fell so in love with the story I began telling through RPs and ideas I picked up along the way, it just sort of gradually became it's own thing!

Of course the entire thing needed a huge rewrite considering I was newly in middle school when it started and now I've graduated Highschool, but I've made tons of progress on it so far. It also needed a huge redesign and I have my lovely partner to thank for all the wonderful designs you all see on the website! They truly took my old designs and fresh rewrites of the characters and made the kind of art I always imagined would pair so well with this story <3

So whatever it is we choose to do with this story and its characters I can promise you all, I'll put my heart, soul and other organs into it.

#batim #batdr #bendy and the ink machine #bendy and the dark revival #cartoon #mod Whirly #not ask #oops turned out longer than I meant for it to be #can you tell I'm a bit... Rambley?#I literally have a tag on my main blog just for rambley long posts I make so yeah I am quite chatty #anyways just wanted to add in the tags here I am so flattered by how nice u guys have been abt the blog and Its Showtime in general?? Like #oh my god you guys are very sweet ty for all the nice feedback #its so nice ;w;

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asexual-vampire · 1 year

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6, 32, 77, and 92 please!

6. What are you excited for?

My birthday is coming up and I'm pretty sure my family is getting me a mic set! I've wanted one for a while since I like to read for my friends and I'd love to be able to record at a higher quality!! I'm also working on crocheting a sweater right now so I'm looking forward to seeing how it turns out!!

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

I actually have feelings for two different people, my boyf and my best friend, and yeah they both know :3 I also recently developed a new crush and I'm pretty sure they know but I can't remember if I told them directly xD

77. Ever been in love?

I think so. I use the term love very loosely but I've honestly never been able to figure out exactly what being in love feels like. That being said, I'm pretty sure I'm in love with my best friend 💚

92. Do you want to get married?

Maybe! I'm polyamorous and I don't see myself ever being 100% tied to one person, but I think it would be lovely to find someone who I care about enough to share that kind of commitment!!

(I would also like to note that I personally see being socially married and legally married as two very distinct things, and at this stage in my life I like the thought of being socially married a lot more lol)

#i always get very rambley when i answer these questions hhkgkgk oops #thank you for the ask <3!!#edward speaks

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noritaro · 6 months

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SUPER genuine can you go nuts and tell me all about and give me a run down on Godzilla minus one so I know if I should go sees it (I love spoilers)

FELLOW BASED SPOILER LIKER 🤝 hot take but spoilers dont actually tell you anything about a film, tv show or otherwise, you could say the entire story but won't get the full experience from that because your enjoyment of media is all in the execution of everything that brings it together

anywayysss Godzilla spoilers on the cut, I'm super rambley btw oops

The entire film mostly centers around the actually wonderful human protagonist Koichi Shikishima (I fucking hate human characters in kaiju media it is a big deal if I actually like em) and how he deals with life + PTSD after his encounter with Godzilla in Odo Island when he (honestly understandably) decided to flee his duty as a Kamikaze Pilot during WWII

like with every japanese Godzilla film in existence theres a political message- and this one is one of the most BLATANT, with the constant jabbing at the Japanese government for not giving 2 shits about the lives of its people and anti-war messaging but thats just a given since this is a post WWII film

its essentially a depressing political drama in the form of a Godzilla film- I GUARANTEE THAT YOU WILL FUCKING BAWL FOR KOICHI OH MY GOD, this film reeeeally makes you care about him and his found family in the form of Noriko (a woman he met after returning from war) and Akiko (an orphaned baby Noriko took in after encountering her dying mother)

every human character actually adds something to the film- every single one of them, theyre all likable, and they feel real

also... THE FUCKING GODZILLA THEME PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND OF THE CLIMAX AND THEN THE SUDDEN DEAFENING SILENCE AT THE PEAK OF THE ACTION- I CANNOT EXPLAIN IT WITH WORDS 😭 it was so mind numbing, my bones shook to its very core

AND- THE FUCKINGGG BUILD UP SCENE OF GOJIS ATOMIC BREATH OUGHHHWAAAAGH

#catboycyrus

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flintmgr · 4 months

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mary headcanons? :-)

WOOO!!!!!!!! Okay sorry if i get rambley i loveee mary ok ok ok

SO. I think she’d be Best friends w Dave. Idk i think they would get along very well!!!

Mary would enjoy art too… I think he would be best at drawing fish and environments. I think he’d paint

I had written like three paragraphs on a “hc” but realized i was just explaining a canon part of her that people dont talk about LOL OOPS!!! I may post that separately later……. Uhmm another hc is that she loves cheese

#rambles

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gayandvibin · 4 years

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How about some headcanons of Robbie and/or Murphy? 💚

Murphy is so sweet and smart I love him :'')

He talks a lot about his mother so I like to think that he is one of the few students at hogwarts with Good Family Relationships and I am living for it. She just seems very supportive and she's probably also somewhat interested in quidditch.

So when Murphy's older and professionally commentating he often will send her tickets to events. And this little old lady will absolutely be living for it in the stands, going absolutely WILD.

Murphy himself seems pretty energetic to me, though he can pretty chill when he needs to. He'd be super good at maths and physics if he ever studied them (what on earth are wizard universities like... what happens when you lack any kind of sciencey muggle knowledge...) and combined with his more... expressive (as in... the sort of big personalities you expect from sort of media presenters I guess?) nature I feel like he is wizarding Bill Nye. Like if he weren't involved directly with quidditch he would be educating the generation and goddamn would he be good at it.

He's got a knack for charms and dueling, and he and Robbie are both absolutely Chaotic when they're paired up. Just rambly hufflepuffs with very strong emotions and little filter - they're definitely good friends but I imagine it's a little intense for everyone else involved, especially once they have a goal in mind.

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #im lov the entire quidditch team theyre all absolute babies #this might be a little rambley i feel like i just need to express how cool murphy is!! and i dont really have the words!!#oops wait #hphm murphy #murphy mcnully #robert flores #?a little bit?#but yes!!!!#murphy is just... Very well written from what ive seen and i appreciate it so much #he has a very warm personality and im a big fan lol #i wish him only the best #words are failing me help i hope this actually reads as something hah

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hermesserpent-stuff · 4 years

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The Dilemma of 049 being a ~*Medieval*~ doctor: a ramble from a history nerd

TLDR: I am a tired history nerd who got invested in some plague doctors and did some research. As they say “ I kriffed around, I found out.” bird boi doctors are not medieval not even close. I have a fiction writing dilemma and I'm thinking maybe of grinding axes.

More below the cut cause, hahahha, oops. I wrote this as thought to text so its just a bit weird and whole lot of rambley. It was going to be an authors note, but no, I need other opinions on this mess.

OKAY SOOOOOO doctors wearing beaks was like a 17th 18th-century thing so I guess this is when the bois (049 and 049-J) be from (violent shrugging.) I mean I was putting them, in my head in that first big plague that is super famous in the 1300s…. Cause medieval aesthetic is king. But I guess technically, small towns were still functioning similarly, with feast days and the like, with just a lot of trade and the whole Americas thing going on. and technically there was more than one plague.

But wait!!!! The SCP site says “a medieval plague doctor”, but technically the medieval period ranges from about 500 BCE to around 1500 BCE. Far before burb mask bois were wacking people. I might just combust. SO the question is as follows, what in the haran do I do. Fall to the aesthetic of the medieval age and suffer the misery that is being a history fanatic writing history incorrectly on purpose, OOOOORRRR go with the correct way with 17th and 18th-century bois in bird masks with no medieval flavor text mixed into the backstories.

(And then there’s the whole mess of other things I’ll have to consider, like martin Luthor drop kicking Germany in 1500’s and making those fractures different branches (how would that affect the troupe of doctors from Jay’s past in a 17th-century backdrop? Religious debates? Edmund- maybe fleeing England cause king henry the 8th who wanted to rid himself of a wife that didn’t pass the vibe check and then that sending the country into Protestantism after a brief and bloody stab stab from queen mary? Or in the medieval route the fact that it’s been like 700 years these birds have been roaming free and no one thought to burn them. Also alchemy and astrology are going strong in the 1300’s. anD THere was crusades and the church. The church is still around in the 17th century but crusades lasted till about 1400s (i think)

Honestly, a very small part of me wants to both toss myself into a furnace and/or find out who put ~medieval~ as a descriptor for a bird boi when that outfit was not around till Charles de L'Orme decided to invent the *look* 1630, a time distinctly after the generally accepted medieval times, which end in 1500, cause guess who walked through the door with lattes and confidence, that’s right, the Renaissance and it’s printers, artists, and thinkers (around 1400s it started up cause history is messy and there’s no such thing a clear lines) and the whole globalization thing that spun in on the heels of 1492 ( but was already vibing with trade to the east through Mediterranean routes and the Medici, who had mula. Any way. I am undecided as of yet what exactly I’m going to do, cause I like to try for accuracy but I also am addicted to bardcore.

gimme any opinions if you got them

(please dont ask about plague naming conventions cause that also changes with the time period that 049 could originate from making the whole: “When you say "The Great Dying", are you talking about the bubonic plague?” from doctor hamm a slightly absurd question as Im not sure when that title came into use and if bird boi over here had ever heard of it. If hes a medieval doc boi then they prolly had some latin name. frickle, now i gotta do research of names for plague in two different times. but also the pestilence is prolly something else. slag it all now i gotta look into that too and check community thoughts on that. I mean I have my own but mmmmmsmmsmsm)

#ahh #scp #scp foundation #scp 049 #scp 049-j #fanfiction writing #writing #historical research #am i wrong #ugh #are you a medieval doctor or a bird doctor #you cant have both #ugly crying #history #plague doctor #plague #ramble

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purble-turble · 3 years

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Hi there! First of all I've barely interacted here, but I just wanted to tell you that it's always nice to see you and your followers talk a lot about the AU's and how there's different versions and all of that. Storytelling and how we interact with it holds a lot of fascination to me, so I'm very happy reading all of that. Second, do you happen to have a way to start your AU? Cause I'll be honest, I'm a bit lost with everything hahaha. Still, I hope you have a nice day!

I’m so glad you’re enjoying it! I’m having a ton of fun with everyone coming up with these ideas together. Anyone is welcome to send stuff whether they want to be on anon or not is totally fine 👍

As for your question, I guess the way I like to handle it is through focusing on understanding the characters and their motivations to start with. Once I have that basically down, it’s much easier to consider how they would behave in any given situation that someone could prompt me with. Also a lot of times a story or plot idea will just spring up from something smaller like a piece of dialogue or a particular scene that would be fun or interesting to include, and I ask myself ok what would it take for this character to get into a position where they would do or say this? That’s what’s most fun for me: studying the characters and their interactions and trying to come to a conclusion that makes for an interesting story in that way.

Something I’ve noticed has been helpful in my pursuit of studying characters is acting. I did a lot of plays and acting as a kid just for fun, and by pretending to be someone else it helps me consider other peoples’ feelings more easily. I still find myself mouthing the lines from shows I like, trying to get a feel for how the character must have been feeling in that moment and then dissecting why. I don’t know if there’s any science to it or anything, but it’s something I like to do for fun and I feel like it’s helped me.

The last thing I consider when I write out ideas is the theme. Does this thing I’m writing match the theme or tone of the story I’m trying to tell? If I’m rewriting an episode for a specific AU, I like to consider how the moral or wrap up of the canon episode would be affected by what I’m changing. If it’s changing a lot, I’d like to think of a new theme for that episode to revolve around.. if it’s NOT changing enough, then I want to alter my version of the episode so it can either wrap up in the same way or have my own twist on that same moral that was trying to be imparted. In the case of the Demon King Red AU, the focus of the story is that Red is obsessed and possessive and the overall tone is dark. Obviously there is content I’ve put out that doesn’t quite fit these specifications, which is why this is the last consideration for my writing. Sometimes an idea comes to you that you’re too attached to to worry about the overall tone of it, and that’s totally fine too. I just bring it up because I like consistency in my writing and in the content I consume. I feel like it’s a good practice to not have your story yo yo back and forth between angst and fluff too much if you can help it.

I hope that helps and wasn’t too rambley.. and honestly the most important thing I can recommend when it comes to writing or creating AUs is to just read. Read read read read read everything you can. The more you read other peoples’ work the more your brain can process the tropes and writing styles that get used a lot and before you know it those things will just come naturally to you because you’ve seen so much of it..... just make sure you remember where you got your ideas from. I know I’m guilty of thinking of a cool scene and realizing later that oh wait this is from that other thing I read ages ago OOPS. But that’s just to do with my terrible memory more than anything else :U

#ask #blog #writing

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ask-the-wake-hedgehogs · 4 years

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Can we have a rough timeline of regressed!Mephiles' emotions and motivations starting from the first regression up to the point where he decides to cooperate with Eggman to reseal Iblis? He's a mysterious figure, which I suppose is very intentional, so I want some more insight into approximately how much his personality shifts are affected by his strengthened rapport with the hogs over time

Okay so, that’s a little complicated, especially because that’s changing some with the comic rewrite (mostly to clarify that part of the timeline), so I’ll explain this in text rather than comic. Spare yall my terrible handwriting.

Also this got pretty rambley so hopefully it still makes sense oop, feel free to ask clarification or further stuff if you need it.

I’m not entirely sure how well it came across in the story, so to start with: Wake Mephiles follows the ‘suddenly existed and immediately stuffed in a staff for no apparent reason’ interpretation of his character. So most of his emotions and motivations are centered around the anger and trauma caused by that mess.

The first few regressions, RMeph is mostly settling in with the ‘new’ information. Because while he’s Mephiles with all his memories intact, Meph went and made new memories that don’t click with his perception of the world. So he sticks with his views on the world even harder and attempts to shove everyone away - people are all terrible, why in the world would he willingly make connections in any state of mind? But it’s not like he’s in any position to get revenge, he’d get squished like a bug if he tried, so he sticks to needling everyone while he waits for Iblis to break free on its own.

As he interacts with everyone more, both regressed and not, he ends up thinking about things a bit more. He’s still angry about what happened, especially with Shadow’s part in things, but... they aren’t exactly acting the same with him? Silver can be written off, they worked together before so he might just be falling on old habits, but he and Sonic barely interacted, and Shadow is. Well, he’s Shadow. What’s with these people?

And it’s about here that he realizes that the emotional bonds he’s created while not regressed don’t just vanish while he’s regressed. He still cares about these people in some way. And, honestly, he’s known that on some level the whole time, but now he’s actually acknowledging that. Sort of.

By the main timeline, this realization is occurring over the same period as Sonic’s breakdown and then Silver and non-regressed Mephiles’ fight. Everyone’s stress levels are one of the major contributors here, seeing as it’s harder to be in denial about caring for someone when you’re constantly upset about them being upset.

With this realization comes the accompanying realization that well shoot, I guess I don’t want bad things to happen to em? Which is something that doesn’t sit easy with him, but he doesn’t really have the time to think too hard on it because Iblis is going to break free soon enough and suddenly that doesn’t seem like such a great thing anymore.

But he doesn’t exactly have the scientific knowhow to do anything about it, at least not without fighting Iblis directly which... no. Iblis is still his other half, he’s already trying not to think about the fact that he’s choosing these other people over it.

Of course he’s also spent enough time trying to make the others dislike him that getting them to work with this would probably take longer than he has, so alternative option - appeal to a certain egghead’s desire to take over a non-scorched world. Fortunately Eggman’s already aware of Iblis’ reappearance, so it’s an easier conversation than it might have been. Plenty of mutual distrust, but they’ve at least started working together. And the rest is history.

#ask the wake hedgehogs #answered asks

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onburdenedwings · 5 years

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The Appeal of Sleeping Potions

{{Another long rambley thing that I worked on on/off for most of yesterday. It may not be fully lore compliant, but oh well. Hints at spoilers for HW, kinda. I don’t like proofreading, oops.}}

{{ TL;DR: Cele has PTSD-related insomnia and heavy scarring after one of his first excursions as a Temple Knight. Don’t ask him to take off his shirt.}}

Even before the Calamity, Coerthan winters had been bitterly cold. The snows had just started to take hold, and this was to be one of the last expeditions before the army withdrew for the season- or at least, that was what his commander had claimed. Whether or not Celestaux believed him or not was up for debate, for they all knew that it depended near entirely on the results of the excursion. At the very least, this wasn’t meant to be a war party- rather, they were setting out to give the Western Highlands one final sweep before the ice set in.

The battalion had set out from Falcon’s Nest, following the road north and across Black Iron Bridge to start with a sweep of the northern reaches of the Highlands. They’d swept through Hemlock, stopping only briefly to rest before continuing north through Gorgagne Holdings. And so they continued on in this manner, circling the Highlands counterclockwise to eventually work their way back in. The river crossings were, arguably, the worst- for in some places, it had frozen over and in others only appeared to have done so- on more than one occasion, a knight had nearly been lost to the clutches of ice too thin to bear the weight of a unit crossing.

Despite the occasional incident with the local wildlife, the journey passed relatively without incident. The men were in good spirits as Camp Riversmeet came into view, eager to settle in for the night somewhere a bit closer to ‘civilization’ than the middle of the godsdamned wilderness. Cannons, it seemed, did wonders for morale when they’d spent the last tenday patrolling on foot. The fire was blazing, and they set about pitching their tents beside the ones more permanently affixed within the fence. Tonight, they would have their first proper rest in days and tomorrow, gods willing, they’d find the Bed of Bones just as ‘safe’ as the rest of the Highlands and return for another night before setting back out for Falcon’s Nest and, eventually, back to Ishgard proper.

But plans did not always go as intended, for what was life without a bit of chaos?

Celestaux found himself awake before he realized what had awoken him. Had that been a dragon’s roar? His sword lay sheathed beside his bedroll, and he reached for it and the shield against the tent pole before pushing his way out. The fire still raged in the pit in the center of camp, and the guards on high alert. He craned his neck, squinting up at the stars in an effort to try and spot the beast in question.

Nothing.

Knights were beginning to flood the camp’s center, bleary-eyed and yawning. Those who did not stir at the first sound were quickly shaken away and admonished, and hardly a bell had passed before they’d all assembled in full kit to await an attack that did not come. Tension slowly eased, and while more guards were stationed, the rest of those set to return set about packing up the tents and preparing the morning meal. The mood had lightened, and while they were quite reasonably on high alert, spirits were still high. The sun rose higher, raising the temperature a fraction of a degree, and the order to set out was given. The plan to carry minimal equipment was debated, it was ultimately decided to carry just enough to last them, should they be waylaid.

There was something about stepping foot into an area known affectionately as The Bed of Bones that made one feel uneasy. Celestaux had been of the opinion that they should await reinforcements, for a dragon this close to a well-established camp was not going to be a good sign but he was young and early in his career and had little voice, despite his arguably greater social status amongst his unit. He kept his hand on his sword, free hand twitching to reach for his shield at every noise not quite human.

A shout from the rear had him spinning, shield in hand before he’d even thought about reaching for it. The roar that sounded shook him, resounding deep in his bones as the scaled creature soared overhead and banked before diving for their position. Another call went out, and the sound of a dozen visors snapping back down into place echoed. The call for dragoons went out, and Celestaux raised his shield as they sprung into action. A lance struck true, and the dragon came crashing down with an ear-piercing shriek of rage. From a cavern above, a great figure arose. It let out a bone-chilling roar, and from the caverns high in the cliffside came the sound of beating wings.

“Ambush!”

Celestaux wasn’t sure who had sounded the alarm, but he fell into position with his shield-brothers at his back. They closed ranks, shields and lances raised to face the onslaught that came. While the dragons that attacked were no great wyrms, their claws and teeth were still deadly. The man to his left was snatched up and carried off in the chaos of leaping dragoons and swinging swords, and Cele spared him only a glance- just long enough to watch him fall into the river below as a lance pierced through the beast carrying him off.

“Dzemael!”

The sound of his name snapped him back to the present, and he spun just in time to raise his shield and fend off a smaller beast that had broken past their perimeter. He grunted, pushing back and slashing out with his sword to draw blood. The creature screeched and fell at his feet, staining the snow red. He stared at it, eyes down just a bit too long. Another harsh shout of his name drew him from his thoughts, and he turned to rejoin his unit in the fray.

Crimson stained the snow and leached into the river, scaled corpses littering the ground; from the corner of his eye, Celestaux spotted a still figure that looked disturbingly like Riorant beneath the body of a slain beast. He spared a prayer to the Fury, turning his blade back on the creatures descending upon them. The battle raged, and slowly the unit began to move back towards the mouth of the cave that led into the ring of cliffs. Fury willing, the roars and sounds of battle had reached Camp Riversmeet- if they pulled back far enough, reinforcements could reach them sooner. And in the worst of cases, they would be all the closer for the next patrol to carry their bodies home.

Mercifully, it seemed they were making some semblance of progress; the number of swooping shadows had slowly begun to decrease- and while the number of dragon corpses was rising, Celestaux was not convinced that all that had disappeared had truly been slain. They pressed further back, the chirurgeon among them working overtime to keep those not heavily injured up and in the fight. Celestaux kept his shield up, the healer carefully in his peripheral vision in the event that something broke through their line. Distantly, he could hear the shouts of another unit echoing through the cavern. By the Fury, it was past time!

A shadow blocked out the sun, and Celestaux raised his eyes just in time for the beast to fall upon him. Talons tore through his chainmail like butter, and he let out a shout as he thrust his blade up into the beast atop him. The dragon reared back it’s head, and with what strength remained, Celestaux raised his shield to block the mouth of razor-sharp teeth from tearing open his throat the same as his armour. Claws tightened around his torso, piercing his flesh and tearing open his stomach. He screamed, blood filling his mouth until he felt like he was drowning. Shouts rang out, and the beast attempting to tear him apart released him. A face appeared in front of him, ringed by shadow as his vision began to fail. Their lips moved, but the sound was garbled and nonsensical. The world began to fade, and try as he might, he couldn’t quite hold on- his eyes flickered closed, and the world fell away…..

____

“-n’t know. He will wake up when he wakes up, my lord.” An unfamiliar voice spoke in soothing tones, to a figure he could not make out.

“That’s unacceptable-” Ah, his father was here. Perhaps he should be comforted that the man had dragged himself out to visit. Instead, he embraced the rising darkness and fell back under.

____

“Celestaux?”

Now who was that? He could feel himself surfacing again, mind far more steady this time around. A noise approaching a grunt escaping him. This was not his father, despite the vague familiarity of his voice, and he was growing tired of slowly rising into consciousness only to immediately retreat. Nay, it was about time he awoke.

“By the Fury, are you actually awake this time?”

He opened his mouth, attempting to speak- for nothing to come out. His brow furrowed, eyes slowly easing open to look at the figure looming over his bedside. Orlant- the healer that had been at his back during the assault- seemed positively delighted that he was awake. Celestaux cleared his throat, immediately regretting the action as pain rocketed up and down his chest.

“Gods, man, easy.” Orlant pressed a gentle hand to his shoulder, a tight frown at his lips. “The Fury Herself must have blessed you, to survive that. I knew I was good, but even I didn’t think I was that good.” He chuckled, the sound more than a little nervous. “Now, I fixed you up best I could, but the results likely won’t be pretty. Just remember we didn’t all make it.”

“Who?” Celestaux croaked the word, mouth far too dry. Was there water? He tilted his head, both to get a better look at his visitor and catch sight of his bedside table. As if reading his mind, Orlant picked up a glass of water and carefully held it to lips while he took small drinks.

“Ser Riorant. Ser Saivex. Ser Vozelle. Ser Idronne is in rough shape, but they think she’ll make it. Whether or not she’ll be able to lift a lance again is another story.” The healer shook his head, setting the cup back on the small side table. “Odds are good for you, I think. Best chirurgeons in the city came as soon as you were stable enough to bring in. Benefits of being nephew to a Count, huh?”

“Mm.” So he was back in Ishgard. How distasteful. It did confirm, however, that it had been his father’s voice he’d thought he’d heard. He wasn’t sure whether he was shocked or annoyed that his father had come to see him in hospice. He settled for a mixture of the two, before his eyes slowly began to close again.

“Get some rest, Celestaux.” Orlant’s voice was already far away, but the permission to sleep was well appreciated. He settled back against the pillows, easing the tension that had already formed in his shoulders. “Gods know you’ve earned it.”

____

A moon passed, and slowly he did heal. The skin and flesh beneath mended, leaving minimal permanent damage. All things considered- his survival and relatively low impact on quality of life- was borderline miraculous. The scarring left behind was heavy; long, deep gouges across his stomach and lower chest that would fade only the faintest bit over time and and a far cleaner line over his cheek from the bridge of his nose to his jaw. The physical reminders, he found, were the least of his concerns.

At first, he’d been too tired and drugged by healers to remember a thing. But as he was weaned off the potions and various concoctions that had been intended to expedite his recovery. The fog in his mind cleared, and that had been when the screaming started. Every time his eyes drifted shut, the screech of dragons and pained cries of his shield-siblings as they met their death rang in his ears. Riorant’s still form flashed through his mind, accompanied by the open jaws of the dragon that pinned him moments before it consumed him whole.

Orlant had been the first one to notice his health once again begin to decline. By the end of Celestaux’s first venture back, the shadows beneath his eyes were near pitch in colour. The healer had waited until they’d arrived back in Ishgard before handing him a potion and ordering him to drink it all only once he’d settled into bed. Celestaux had been suspicious, but he did as ordered- while the healer had no real authority over him, he had an idea of what he’d been given. He was not surprised to awaken a full day later to his fussing mother and her insistence he be up and dressed before he made them late for the latest family gathering.

And so the cycle started- fitful nights of little to no sleep on military excursions followed by mini comas fueled by potions slipped into his bag by the ever-watchful healer. Reliance was, almost certainly, a terrible idea- but Celestaux found himself with few choices, and while the original screams of trauma began to fade over the years, he’d earned plenty new scars and the nightmares to go with them.

Leaving Ishgard had meant leaving his supply behind; he’d intended to simply quit, but moons of no sleep eventually took its toll, and he once again relented. When that began to burn through his wallet, he learned to make them himself. The scars on his chest ached only once in a blue moon, silenced just as easily as the dreams with just a swig of something strong. That, at least, was considerably cheaper to achieve.

More than once, he'd tried to wean himself off of them properly, to try to learn to manage without them, but often times that just led to a small fussy Xaela insisting on making tea and taking some of his workload; on the worst occasions, it led to a fussy pirate, and worrying him was the last thing he'd wanted. The dreams were silenced and rest achieved, albeit artificially.

But artificial was better than not at all, and facing the demons that haunted him was something he was not yet ready for, especially in light of the new history uncovered. The war had been a lie. The hatred deserved. The deaths and the scars left behind marks to remind them of how they had been wrong.

The appeal of sleeping potions had grown only stronger.

#{{drabble}}#long post #{{info}}

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solongbutch-archive · 6 years

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3, 18, and 36 pls

Ahhhh I love you you’re the first person ever to send me numbers or anything when I’ve reblogged these memes. I will love you forever! I got a bit rambley on 18. Whoops. Anyway I love you!

3: And with another loud crack, he vanished. (Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix).

18: karma. Okay so for me it’s a lot of mixed up thoughts because the way karma is used in contemporary English and in the West is very different from its root which is Hinduism. In Hinduism it’s the sum of the energy from you past life and it decides your future. There is also a bunch of caste stuff tied in that is very complex and makes me —someone with caste privilege uncomfortable buying in to. The western use of karma confuses me if I think too much, because for me it’s so tied up in religious meaning that can be problematic. That said I believe that as you do to others will be done to you. That’s way more than you probably wanted. Oops.

36: for me art is anything created as a release of bound up energy. Art is everything anyone wants it to be.

#answered #question meme #rosegoldhl #m talks #texty post #about me #hinduism

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masonjo · 7 years

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why do you ship bumbleby and not black sun why were they endgame in your college au

Hoo boy - as far as my fic goes, bees were canon from the moment I started writing. I really don’t see Blake and Sun as two characters who belong together long term (but hey, if you like blacksun, you can take comfort in that they did bone in my fic! if that helps) but rather I think their dynamic works really well as friends? So, I knew that based off the canon show, I want Blake and Yang to be together so I made it happen in the fic!

As to why I ship them - this could get a little longer - but I think they compliment each other really well and have a deeper connection than Blake and Sun. On just like, a basic level - Yang is more outgoing, Blake’s quieter, Yang craves attention/approval more, Blake prefers to work alone when she can, etc etc. But more than that I think they’re two characters who we’ve been shown really matter to each other. Yang’s the first one Blake really opens up to about Adam specifically (I think she opens up about the White Fang before that to others but I’m not sure) and we know that Adam was abusive to her so that’s a really big thing. Yang’s someone who seems to assume fault for people leaving/not wanting her around so I think it’ll be a whole lot when they reunite and Yang’s blaming herself for it. I think that they’ve been set up, narratively, to really parallel Jaune and Pyrrha (which…lol bodes well I guess) and they danced together. I’m a bisexual lady and it would mean a lot to me if RWBY followed through and did the damn thing and let bees be canon. I think it’s been set up, I think the groundwork is there.

I don’t have anything personally against blacksun, except I just don’t really…care about it? Like. It’s cute I guess but I feel like it pales in comparison to bees. When I’m feeling really petty, I call black sun the Roseart Bees, because I do think there are similarities but just…not as strong connections and it’s just kind of the watered down version of bees in some aspects? Oop. I don’t have any hate towards BS, but I would be really disappointed with CRWBY/RWBY if they went that direction instead. There’s been a lot of behind the scenes teases (which...yikes lol) for bees (particularly from the voice actors/ Barb & Arryn) so it would feel very queerbait-y to me if the endgame was once again M/F.

(this got a little rambley and probably not 100% sensical at times but the tldr - Blake and Yang seem to work more for me, but I don’t have any real issues with Black Sun, just not my cuppa tea! Now as to SunnyBees….I’m interested, ya feel.)

also feel free to ask me things on curiouscat too!

#bumbleby #rwby #shit i wrote #hope this helps #sorry if u ever thought i was a bs shipper im not lol #Anonymous

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