#very glad I did not!!!
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I love your Emmanellain.
Thank you SO MUCH I LOVE HIM TOO ;-;
#im so grateful for the recent flux of activity#i had some bad days where i was contemplating abandoning this blog#very glad I did not!!!#bless all of you so much thank you especially those who reblog
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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I just wanna say bc I KNOW you're somewhere on tumblr, to the teenage girl who attended Take Your Kid To Work Day at an office building in Ontario, Canada circa 2013 and had a conversation with a middle aged woman in which you showed her your Black Veil Brides fanart and fanfics and ship content and told her about different fanfic tropes including a/b/o verse bc she happened to know who Panic! at The Disco and Fallout Boy were and thus you felt the need to show her your bandblr ship art, that was my fucking mother and I had to clarify all that to her including looking my mother in the eye and trying to explain a/b/o verse without sounding like a lunatic.
It's been 10 years and I still regularly sent evil energies in your direction. Since you'd be probably two years younger than me and thus legally an adult now, please know if this post reaches you it's on sight.
#she cornered me in the car and asked what shipping was and i almost had a fucking heart attack#imagine being like 16 years old and habing to explain knotting to your mother#random emo music girl I'm glad you had fun talking about your Band Guys to my mother#bc i also attended take your kid to work day at that office and i know how boring it was#but christ alive why did you have to fuck me like that?#anyways i hope this post reaches you so at the very least you know i think about you at least once a week#this has been weighing on me for ten years#im almost tempted to blaze this post
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it doesn't matter how babygirl ur fav man is, he will ALWAYS be ten times sexier as a woman
#PLEASE be respectful in the tags for the love of god#drawing the fav is sm fun when they're genderbent like wow now i can be attracted to ANOTHER version of you😍#im so glad all of nakahara chuuya's fans are lesbians this guarantees my post will reach its target audience#i felt very straight drawing this btw. my nose was NOT bleeding. i did NOT constantly hear a ringing noise.#bsd would infinitely be better if the entire cast was made up of women#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#nakahara chuuya#chuuya nakahara#fem chuuya#also no hat im sry i cant draw hats💔#maybe in another post#lotus draws
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so excited for Kalim to save the day by swiper-no-swiping this dip. you can do it! I believe in you!
god I hope this reads properly
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#i feel like kalim and the marshmallow test operates under roger rabbit rules#whether he passes or fails depends on which option is funniest at the time#anyway HEY things are finally actually happening!#so glad fellow agrees with me there#did he even expect them to make it to the show. did he very quickly have to choreograph a poppy little dance number.#honestly in retrospect i am also shocked that they lasted as long as they did#i mean. floyd is there. c'mon.#speaking of which i did really enjoy floyd going BYE JADE! MAYBE I'LL COME BACK TO SAVE YOU LATER IF I FEEL LIKE IT!#revenge for the popcorn#sorry if this is nonsensical! somehow it became like 4 am while i wasn't looking#i am super digging the evil theme park shenanigans (now that they're actually happening)#it's just Very Late!
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i watched re death island today!!!!!1 it was really good!!!!!!!!! had to draw smth to celebrate :)
#guys. its a good movie. if youre a re fan youre gonna love it. go watch it when it comes out its GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!#im forgiving capcom for the crimes they committed in infinite darkness death island makes me so happy im willing to ignore them#god. i wanna rewatch it already. when is the movie gonna get online i need it so badly#resident evil#jill valentine#chris redfield#claire redfield#very happy to finally see the siblings interact on screen btw. took 20 years but im glad capcom finally did it#now remake code veronica please#rebecca chambers#leon s kennedy#allyart
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i absolutely love your characterization of movie vanessa,, like she is so mentally unwell but also she is full of whimsy!
The duality of Vanessa Shelly,,
#ask reply#I’m glad that you like how I portray her!!#I really didn’t want to make her one note#so I did amped up the characteristics we did get from her from the movie#shes genuinely very nice almost big sisterly and likes to indulge with things that are childish#while also obviously having deep rooted issues that’s she’s trying to work through#I adore her#her whimsy is paired right in hand with her trauma#it’s such a interesting balance to have in a character so I’m glad I can show it off well!
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“hell is real” felt patch sewn onto an upcycled flannel. inspired by the ohio billboard
#fiber art#felt art#felt patch#patch#upcycle#textile art#texile#hell is real#ohio#artists on tumblr#theartofmadeline#im glad i finally did this even if its shitty lol#for my fellow ohio people#ive never used felt as a patch before but it was very fun!#ive been wanting to work with clothes more#please let this find the right audience lol#i would make more of these if anyone would buy them probs#fashion
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another school piece i did for my group film pitch!
it didnt end up getting picked, but i enjoyed drawing a lil thing for it regardless!
#digital art#artists on tumblr#it was going to be about a shapeshifter trying to impress someone they like!!#im very glad it wasn't picked because i Did Not want to animate shapeshifting lmao#i speedran it at like- 3 in the morning so the whole thing wasn't very well thought out 😭#macchiart
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the mind electric // a TOH animatic
flash warning!
#i'm not really into toh as much these days but it would've been such a shame to Not finish this#so you know. i'm glad i did it even tho my fixation is somewhere very different rn 💀#the conception of this has made me so sick. seeing the finale trailer was a gamechanger for the ending of this#i don't even remember what the original idea was before that BUT i hope it makes you all just as sick#the owl house#luz noceda#hunter toh#hunter wittebane#hunter noceda#philip wittebane#emperor belos#toh#animatic#digital art#animation
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Lackadaisy Enrichment
#in our enclosures!!#video linked as source; which i'm glad to see already has a million views and is trending. That's Right#lackadaisy#WHICH i have been reading since at least '07 when i was thirteen my god b/c this animation is based on the ongoing webcomic#like does its influence show up Directly in some Discrete way i can point to in my art? not very easily probably. And Yet.#the inspiration....i wasn't able to be Regularly Only for at least another year / art done Nonprofessionally Online was novel to me#like wow ppl can make & post fanart of w/e they love huh....didn't know webcomics were a thing & i never really read that many since but.#good god the quality of Lackadaisy at its onset is like this is superb?? this person putting in all their talent and effort???#and Then you get years & years more art and i don't even know what superlatives to throw out abt its quality as it evolves. obsessed w/it..#if i see a new lackadaisy comic page i Will be acting out. obviously this animation is a delight & also stunning. and fascinating to also#juxtapose as a Translation / Interpretation of the comic in a different medium & standalone snippet of Story#and that we're not even quite there in the comic timeline; Taking Notes abt character info we get distilledly here....genuinely love like#take it back to '07 i'm like oh boy can't wait for the dream team to assemble. then a decade later when it did? Oh Boy. that is payoff lol#namely hooray for stitches and mudbug at the field office for every passing gangster. killing one marigold associate but not the other#which seems like a promising start to shootouts w/the other dream team triumvirate. i adore that in canon so far mordecai freckle & rocky#have met but only over a nice brunch. re: all intentions anyways. anyways i'm like Gifs Must Be Made while i'm also so riled afresh abt the#comic that i've been sooo hype for for over fifteen yrs now babeyyy Deservedly. i've done a couple of rereads & ought to do another....#For Interest it'd probably take a few sittings to catch up from the start but there is much to be engaged over....this ongoing story that's#historical fiction prohibition bootlegging cats with plenty of focus on characters & several Mysteries. which i'm better at parsing now lol#like one of the more recent rereads like Oh Of Course x (probably) accidentally killed his y & z took the fall & that's a binding secret...#Not [oh of course] abt the circumstances surrounding a's death & how b & c were involved. nor the ''what's marigold's damage'' mystery#which is great. love to not know things. love that we can readily follow all the emergent drama everyone's wading in nowadays. hell yeah#anyways admire my organized approach to gifs here. four shots each Expressions Atmosphere Action Groupshots#sure might've muddled through gifmaking for this anyways but fr being a huge lackadaisy comic enjoyer for now most of my life helps#and its very Overall Inspiration like. just really getting the [you can really just draw stuff out here] going. fr the art's detail & skill#and that enrichment like i'm gonna have a great time following this. And I Have#you don't expect a crowdfunded indie animation in the mix back then but hell yeah fellas#SIGH ok removing a 4th gif that's broken / not displayed despite reuploading then entirely remaking it. if it's a bug i'll try again later
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I love that in the s1 script book, when ghost!Aziraphale finds Crowley in the pub, Crowley is meant to be coherent, failing valiantly at getting drunk — but instead Tennant plays him absolutely sloshed. His complete helplessness to his grief and love and wonder after so many millennia of (mostly) keeping his cool really makes the scene.
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So, I know you've talked about how Jevil and Grillby's relationship is strained, but does Grillby ever warm up to him? In your fight comic, Jevils been shown to comfort Grillby, in small ways anyhow, lending him his cape and letting him mourn. You've stated how Jevil sympathizes with him. Does grillby ever do anything back? Does he ever comfort Jevil or help take care of him in any way?
Yes! Grillby did eventually warm up to him, although it took a while. And their relationship wasn't perfect after this event. There were still times afterwards where Grillby was in a low and hated Jevil all over again.. But this was the start.
The start to Grillby realizing that hating Jevil and being mean to him doesn't make him feel any better. And no matter how much he hates Jevil, its not gonna bring back what he lost. Its also getting harder and harder to hate Jevil anyways. He protects their group with all his might. And even with a horrible wound on his leg and exhaustion pulling at his soul.. he still stays up late to keep the fire going and guard the group.
And despite how mean Grillby has been, Jevil still treats him with the same care he does everyone else. Still sharing the same amount of food, still protecting him with all his might. Grillby doesn't understand why he does it. He doesn't know why Jevil would care about him despite how mean he's been. Why would Jevil be kind to him? Maybe that confusion is why that "thank you" made him light up so much. Its feels.. good, to be thanked. It feels good to be kind. Being kind feels much better than hating someone endlessly.
#my response#undertale#deltarune#seam and jevil#grillby#goner kid#spamton#endogeny#seam deltarune#jevil#I also tried to do somewhat full backgrounds and a lighting effect with Grillby and everyone-#I didn't do it consistently on every panel and it could have come out a liiiil better#but ultimately I am very proud of this comic and think it came out absolutely shmashing ✨#Might not draw full backgrounds again anytime soon becuase of how long this took to make-#but I'm still glad I did it :}}}
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My little sister reminds me of Charmy so much I decided to redraw a moment we had from this weekend as Espio and Charmy :')
#sth#team chaotix#espio the chameleon#charmy bee#mydoodles#she was watching tv while I was (trying) to read my book lol#the tv was very distracting okay FDHGF#but literally she was full of beans just all weekend and I've been exhausted for about a month and a half lmfao#so I couldn't really engage with her as much as I usually am able to#but we did draw a bit together and she did end up cuddling into me so I can be glad in the fact that she wasn't mad at me for#for being all boring the whole time lol
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All the jokes about Ken and horses are good but I just wanna say it's such a good parallel to how actual young men get swept into misogyny and the patriarchy.
Like they're told to believe it means men get to be cool and manly and have this power but with that comes extremely rigid commands of what they can be as a man and a cycle of self hatred for never matching those gender roles perfectly. Patriarchy tells men that if they just do exactly what is expected of them, then they get all the "cool stuff" that comes with. That doesn't work though when there's only a small group that actually gets that power, but men will keep trying to fit into those roles in hopes that they can.
In the end there are no horses or the myth men are told, it's just endless cycles of self hatred and ingroup fighting.
#barbie#barbie movie#barbie spoilers#ig#ive got a lot more on how barbie looks at feminism and the patriarchy cause god they did it#not to say there isnt faults such as very little conversation about intersectionality#but i can also understand the impossible task of talking about EVERYTHING in one movie#not everyone will be happy and thats fine#anyway i think something barbie did really well is fight this battle of both wanting so deeply to love (romantically or not) men but also#not dismissing the fact its mens job to solve their problems themselves#that even if women need to be the front runners of breaking the patriarchy men cannot rely on them to solve their own problems completely#also just god im so glad this wasnt a girl boss slay movie#women deserve respect and love and life regardless of accomplishment#we should not have to be ceos and presidents and world problem solvers to gain equality#i can also understand if nonbinary people feel left out/disconnected from the movie#but as always gender abolition and acknowledging the gender binary (ie the one societially impossed) go hand and hand 👍#just incase cause idfk terfs dni the barbie movie is not for you#barbie literally states constantly that her gender has nothing to do with (non existent) genitals so f off
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Late night kebab ⭐
[PRINT] - [COMMISSIONS]
This is based on sw 5 :) in that movie we're shown that Han and Lando were at the very least good friends and are now giving off major exes vibes. So this is them younger, after a long night at the casino, eating a kebab ! And Chewie is here because Han without Chewie just feels wrong (and I love them)
Process and usual rambling below vvv
My pain my curse my burden is that I love a cluttered scene- I love to draw a mess, with a million little objects and things....... The problems come when it's time to color everything flkflflfk
It's finaly finished ! Lando is now part of my sw sapphic au <3
For their design I went for a 70s inspired outfit, while keeping the cape because let's be real is it still them if I don't keep it. I also kept the mustache thanks to this ask ! They made me see the light of enby Lando :) I'll eventually make sketches to show the full outfit, and do some others because I really want to draw them in an outfit inspired by what they wear after joining the rebellion for a more masc look :3c
And for the colors I chose them based on the younger Lando's outfit because one of the only things I like about disney's star wars, is their young Lando design ! The bright yellow and blue, the tie, the hair- I think it works really well as both a younger, and "modernized" design ! Only thing I found a bit desapointing is that it's too safe- you really want me to believe Lando Calrissian is the type of man to wear the same-ish shirt, pants and cape for 10+ years ? (But that's a default all of disney's sw have, playing it safe to make as few original choices as possible, desperately reminding you of what came before to try to make you forget what you are whatching is mediocre. A constant flow of garbage that's not even brave enough to be bad, just mediocre- But the less I think or talk about disney the better gkgklgkf)
#omg this drawing gave me so much trouble kfkfkf#I started this other 3 or 4 times- but I'm glad I did because I'm very proud of this drawing#star wars sapphic au#han solo#lando calrissian#hanlando#chewbacca#star wars original trilogy#star wars fanart#han solo fanart#lando Calrissian fanart#art#my art#digital art#fanart#illustration#star wars#original trilogy#lesbian
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