is it embarassing that i'm starting college and still don't have a driver's license? no actually

Not Quite Invincible

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30488721

Prompt: Hallucinations Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen Pairings: Nanago, Satosugu Warnings: Illness, mentions of past canonical character death Summary: Nanami returns home to find a sick and delusional Gojou, talking to his long-gone best friend.

@badthingshappenbingo​

If there are any specific prompts you’d like me to write and any specific scenarios/fandoms/pairings you’d like me to write for, just send in an ask!

Story below the cut!

To most, Gojou Satoru seems invincible.

To most that encounter him, he seems as though nothing bothers him. He doesn’t seem to know how to take a hit, what with an ability that stops just about everything from making contact and a tendency to reach speeds incomprehensible to most human eyes. To most, he is flawless. A beacon of hope. The pillar that holds up the feeble roof of Jujutsu Sorcery. Were it not for Gojou Satoru, would the institution even still be standing? It’s a question that has been posed many times, and yet it’s never one that Nanami Kento has seen answered in a way he finds satisfactory. 

Still, for all of his power, for all of his strength, and for as many opponents that have fallen to Gojou Satoru, there are still things that even one such as he is weak to. There are still things that can leave him as vulnerable as the child that he pretends to be. There are still things that steal that confidence from his voice and leave him doing just about everything that he possibly can to cover up the shaking that’s left in its wake.

Apparently, Nanami Kento is one of few privileged enough to see it.

“What are you doing in my house?” Nanami asks with eyes narrowed and arms crossed over his chest. He had walked through the door to find a pair of shoes that were most certainly not his and a pitch black coat hanging on one of his hooks. Nanami owned nothing black. He had discovered, while working in a boring office where the only goal was money, money, and more money, that black made him look far too uptight, and made him feel the same way. If he was going to be saving people, he would be better served wearing a less depressing color. 

There’s only one person who Nanami knows well enough to suspect them of being in his house, who also wears a black coat and... whatever the hell those shoes even are. How frustratingly annoying, that it’s also the man known for his ability to inflict just about anyone he speaks to with a migraine that just might last days, depending on his mood. If Gojou Satoru is feeling particularly annoying today, then Nanami will have to make sure to stock up on painkillers. If he’s feeling just mildly frustrating, then perhaps Nanami will manage to kick him out the door with minimal incident.

“Hmmmmm…?” There’s a long hum coming from the lump on Nanami’s couch. Wrapped up in blankets, Nanami can barely make out a head of ethereally white hair resting against one of his throw pillows. “…oh, you’re home?” The voice is familiar, but also not. It’s obviously the voice of Gojou Satoru. There’s no way that Nanami would ever be able to mistake that voice for anyone else. And yet, there’s something off about it. Something shaky, quiet, weak, vulnerable, and maybe just a bit broken. 

“Yes. What are you doing in my house?” Nanami repeats his question, and there’s a long minute with no answer. Then the pile of blankets shifts, groans, and settles once again. This is going to take a while, it seems. “Are you going to answer me, or are we going to stand here all night?”

“…head hurts.” The pile mumbles. “Stop talking so loud–“ A hand pokes itself out from the mountain and waves at Nanami, as though asking him to quiet down. “–Shouko said… uhhh… somethin’ about sleeping until it goes away,” Gojou’s voice says with an edge to it that Nanami doesn’t recognize and most certainly doesn’t like. He furrows his brow, reaches down, and shakes the pile until it lets out another loud groaning sound and rolls over. Finally, there’s Gojou Satoru’s face. His signature blindfold is nowhere to be seen. His hair is even more disheveled than normal. His eyes are squeezed firmly shut and Nanami can make out beads of sweat on his brow. His skin is flushed, and Nanami would be willing to bet that those scarily blue eyes hidden behind lids are glassy. 

“You’re sick.” Nanami states, and Gojou seems to flinch at the statement. “Why did you not go home?” Nanami asks with a raised eyebrow. Gojou lets out yet another groan and rolls over, tucking his face into the back of the sofa and hiding himself from view once again. Honestly, what a child. He can’t even be bothered to look Nanami in the eyes when they’re speaking. “Gojou–“

“Satoru.” Gojou interrupts. “When’d… When did you stop callin’ me that..?” 

Nanami blinks. He stares, for a moment, unsure of what to do. As far as he remembers, he’s never used Gojou’s given name. Certainly never to his face. He reaches a hand forward, trying to rest it on Gojou’s forehead to feel for a temperature. The moment his fingers brush against the man’s hair, however, Gojou almost seems to jump away. Nanami pulls his hand back. Stares, for a moment, before reaching forward again and this time managing to rest his fingers against Gojou’s forehead. He doesn’t pull back, despite the intensity of the burning that he finds there. 

“Mmmmm…” Gojou hums. “…your hand’s cold, Suguru.” He whispers, and it gives Nanami pause. Of course it does. What else is he meant to do, in response to that? 

“Gojou, I’m not Getou.” Nanami says, because he can’t think of anything else to say. Gojou has a fever – which was obvious even before Nanami rested a hand on his forehead – which seems to be high enough to be giving him delusions. Nanami wonders, briefly, how the older of the two of them could be irresponsible enough to let himself get so sick. Then he remembers that the older of the two of them is Gojou Satoru, infamous for his strength and his complete and total lack of responsibility. “Why did you come here?”

“Missed you,” Gojou mumbles. “Ahhhh, prolly shouldn’t have said that. You’ll never let me live it down,” Gojou laughs. It’s humorless. Nanami hates the sound of it. “…Shouko said somethin’ about staying in bed… but bed is super boring when you’re alone,” He grumbles, turning his head as though going to look up, but his eyes stay firmly closed. Nanami wonders, absently, if the six eyes serve to worsen his headache or improve it. “…been a while since we could hang out, Suguru. How’s the afterlife treating you?” Gojou’s lips quirk up, into a smirk. Nanami could spot how fake it is from a mile away. “Having fun in hell?”

“Gojou.”

“Awww, c’mon!” There’s a shakiness to the happy tone that Nanami is certain most would miss. Most, however, haven’t known Gojou Satoru quite as long as Nanami Kento has. Most would assume that he’s playing some sick game with himself that no one else is allowed to get in on. Nanami knows better. “…j-just cause I killed you… d-doesn’t mean that we can’t still…” Gojou breathes a heavy exhale. As though something is pressing on his chest and Gojou can’t quite shake it. Nanami sighs. No matter what he says, it doesn’t seem to be working. For now, he might as well try and do something about the fever. 

Gojou continues mumbling. Nanami crosses the living room and makes for the nearest bathroom. Once inside, he collects a rag and a basin, quickly filling it with cool water and allowing the rag to soak in it for a moment. With a sigh, Nanami lifts the basin and makes his way back to the sofa. Gojou has shifted slightly. His eyes are still closed, but he’s lying on his back now. One arm is slung over the back of the couch, and the other is resting on the floor. Normally, Nanami would comment on what a messy pose it is. Now is not normally. 

“Stay still,” Nanami commands, setting the basin down beside the sofa. Gojou mumbles something that Nanami can’t quite make out – aside from the use of the name Suguru once again – but otherwise complies. What a strange sight, a Gojou Satoru who actually follows orders. 

Nanami lays the damp folded cloth over Gojou’s forehead. It causes the white-haired sorcerer’s brow to furrow and his lips to twist into something of a grimace, but he doesn’t complain. The thought briefly crosses Nanami’s mind to take a picture. He can think of countless people who would appreciate a picture of the world’s strongest Jujutsu sorcerer in such a state. But the thought fades as quickly as it came. No matter how satisfying it might be to see someone as strong and insufferably annoying as Gojou humbled like this, that’s no excuse to take advantage of his pain for something so petty. 

“…’m sorry, Surugu,” Gojou mumbles. His hands clench into fists and then unclench once again. “…’m sorry… d-didn’t wanna kill you.” There’s another moment of silence. Gojou’s breathing is labored and maybe a bit pained. Nanami wonders, for a moment, how Ieiri could even allow him to head anywhere on his own, if he was this sick. The thought is quickly replaced, however, with– 

“…miss you,” Gojou whispers.

Nanami feels something ache in his chest. 

He buries it. Like always.

“Go to sleep, Gojou. You’re sick.” Nanami gives another command. The last one worked well enough. Perhaps all it takes to get Gojou Satoru to actually listen for once is to give him a high fever and a bit of delusion. It just might be useful information, somewhere down the line. 

“Mmmm… fine,” Gojou mumbles. His eyes stay closed, but the expression on his face relaxes a bit. “…see ya later… Suguru.” It’s the last thing he says, before his breathing begins to even out and his muscles lose a good amount of their tension. Nanami breathes a sigh of relief. He can only hope that the fever will break before Gojou wakes up again.

Gojou Satoru seems invincible, but Nanami Kento knows that he’s far from it. 

As satisfying as it is to see the mighty Gojou Satoru humbled, Nanami can’t say that he wants to see any more of it.

1-100 SPEED RUN

Ama. How could you do this to me

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

Lactose intolerant, only eat cereal dry

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

yes, but not for too long

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

i just try to remember lmao

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

don’t like coffee, drink tea plain or with some sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

not as much as I used to be!

6: do you keep plants?

I have one (1) cactus that I haven’t killed in the 9 years I’ve had it

7: do you name your plants?

sometimes!

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

music or writing

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

ALWAYS

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

I generally fall asleep on my stomach and wake up on my back

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?

I HAVE YOU NOW

12: what's your favorite planet?

Neptune, probably!

13: what's something that made you smile today?

my SON asking me ALL THE QUESTIONS

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

oh god, probably a bit of a mess

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

the ISS was launched on the day of my birth, so it’s been in space *literally* my entire life

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

just plain ol’ chicken alfredo

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

keeping it silver baybeee

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

oh man, there are so many, but i’ll go with the time that Roman got coke to fizz through my nose by making me laugh too hard

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

no journal, only very similar looking notebooks to doodle and write in

20: what's your favorite eye color?

hazel!

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

my Bag of Holding! snapped the clasp on it a few years back though

22: are you a morning person?

not at all!

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

SLEEP

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Ashe, of course

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?

I had to break into my own safe at my old job, does that count?

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

I’d say my boots, but I just got a new set, so the older ones

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Spearmint or wintergreen

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunrise

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

I just love seeing my friends blush

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

yes, I won’t go into detail

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

SOCKS SOCKS SOCKS I used to collect weird socks, now I just have a bunch of fun dress socks lmao

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

driving everyone home at 4 am and seeing other people on the road and going “you should be in bed!” at them

33: what's your fave pastry?

lemon meringue pie

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

Teddy a winnie the pooh bear that I still have!

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I adore new pens

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?

uhhhh I’ve been listening to a lot of Rise Against and ABBA lmao

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

messy

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

nearly anything my brother does 

39: what color do you wear the most?

black or blue

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

my claddagh ring from my grandmother, i don’t have much else from her

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?

not the last book but there was one about a girl having a single dragon finger that I remember reading so many times that I unfortunately don’t know the name of, or the Tamora Pierce Lioness series

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

Don’t like coffee!

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

James <3

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

I do not :’)

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

not as much as I probably should

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

I’ve been changing my username to a different halloween themed pun for all of October, I’m all burnt out

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Balut, it icks me out

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

heights, and yes :’)

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

I got a record player fairly recently, I have some P!atD ones, Foo Fighters, and Imagine Dragons

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

rocks

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

Bitch by Meredith Brooks for my eldest sister

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

the ones we’ve made in our server

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

all of the above except Pulp Fiction, I’m not really a movie person but I *am* a musical person

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

my dad

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?

Cotton Eyed Joe in six inch heels

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

honesty and passion in an interest

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

I just vibe and belt, y’know

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

can they both be me

59: what's your favorite myth?

the soup with a rock in it!

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

Where the Sidewalk Ends was always a good one

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?

a coffee cup drinking horn for my dad, and some painted rocks from my brother

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

it would be apple juice if I did

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

not at all

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

greyish, the sun is just about to rise

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?

My eldest sister

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

ROSES

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

give them to me, I love them

68: what's winter like where you live?

COLD

69: what are your favorite board games?

Monopoly and LIFE

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

no thanks

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?

raspberry or orange for fruit and mint

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

no, but I do write things down anyways

73: what are some of your worst habits?

I lose things all the time

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

STARDUST SOULMATE

75: tell us about your pets!

I have a Min Pin named Lily

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

Sleeping

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

pink

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

*insert ick emoji*

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

decorated my band locker to celebrate my birthday

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

beige, but I hung up a bunch of posters!

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

when the sun hits very rich dirt where a tree used to be

82: are/were you good in school?

best in class in math with a 101.8 but I also rarely did homework so uh

83: what's some of your favorite album art?

Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

Dragon on the shoulder blade, roses on the left arm, Exalt on the right

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

webcomics! Barbarous, currently

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

:? not sure what that means

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

TREASURE PLANET

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

nope!

89: are you close to your parents?

my dad!

90: talk about your one of your favorite cities.

don’t really have a favorite, in all honesty

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

I was supposed to go see Ashe for their birthday but maybe next year!

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

CHEESE CHEESE CHEESE

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?

uhhh it’s usually short enough to do nothing lmao

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

I have a friend’s bday tomorrow!

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

WORK

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

bit of both

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

INTP, Scorpio, Ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

last year? maybe the one before? I did! but my heart didn’t

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

How Far We’ve Come, Matchbox Twenty

The Call, Backstreet Boys

I2I, from the Goofy Movie Soundtrack (lmao)

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

the future! I’ve had my time in the past, no changing it now

Part One ~ Part Two ~ Part Three ~ Part Four

Word Count: 2.1k

_____________________________________________

You sat in the passenger seat of his car gazing out the window at all of the different beach houses on the strip, spotting the waves in between each home. Matt and Sydney’s house sat only a mile from the end of the island, leaving all the restaurants and entertainment about five miles down the strip, and with all of the stop lights on the island, it would take you about fifteen minutes before arriving anywhere.

“These houses are something else aren’t they.” Auston mentioned, sitting up farther in his seat to get a better view through the windshield.

“Says the millionaire professional hockey player as if you’ve never seen houses like this before.” You teased turning to look towards him. He rolled his eyes knowing he couldn’t argue with you on that one.

“I like how they’re all customized. How people put their home state flags up. Some different countries flags go up. Some people name their houses. It brings character, I like it.” He explained. He had a point. Matt & Sydney’s house had three flags. New York’s, Canada’s and America’s to represent where they were from. Although they didn’t name the house, Auston proved a point saying there was a lot of character brought to the neighborhood.

In fact, his statement shocked you. It showed how he pays attention to where he goes. He may have flown and lived in several different places around the globe, but he never takes it for granted. His words replayed in your mind as you now watched the houses through his perspective. The different colors, names, flags, they all told a story.

“I wish I could customize my own.” You admitted softly. You spoke into the window and honestly didn’t think it was even loud enough for Auston to hear, yet he did.

“I believe one day you can.” Auston added nudging your arm with his elbow. You chuckled at his comment, these houses ran in the millions. You believed it was almost impossible.

“You have too much belief in me.” You joked with a scuff. You faced his body once again that was focused on the road, his profile pulling into a confused glare.

“What? Why do you say that?” He said as if he was offended but the comment even though it wasn’t about him, cocking an eyebrow.

“I could never afford one of these houses.” You explained mimicking his expression.

“Y/n are you serious? Good things happen to good people I promise. Yeah you might not be able to afford it right this moment but you’re a really successful person. I���ve seen your potential.” He confessed changing his sight between you and the road. You couldn’t help but stare at him in a daze, trying to intake his words. He’d never really spoken to you that way. He’s always supported you, but never went out of his way to explain why.

You didn’t know how to respond. You started looking down at your hands fiddling with them not knowing what else to do. The tension was building up through the car as he awaited a response, but he eventually caught on that he wasn’t going to get one.

“You need to give yourself more credit y/n. Don’t let people make you feel any less than what you are. I know you’ve been off lately and not feeling yourself, but just know that I’ll always be here to support you no matter what.” He continued while stopping at a red light. You could feel his stare running through you like lasers. Once finally looking towards him you could see the sincerity in his eyes. He meant every word he said. You smiled at him and nodded acknowledging that you appreciate him.

His mouth pulled into a smirk seeing that he’s caught you speechless. You were pulled into a trance glued onto his eyes as the two of you sat in silence. His sight started switching between your eyes and your lips as he slowly leaned over the center console. You mimicked his movements as your mind raced a mile a minute.

You wanted him. There was no doubt about it, but you weren’t sure if this was the right time or not. You haven’t even forgotten your last relationship no longer having to jump into a new one. However, you also didn’t want to miss out on this opportunity of finally having the boy you’ve always wanted.

A loud vibration came from your phone in the cup holder. The two of you held eye contact for another moment before you looked down to see who was calling. You noticed the light you were stuck at had turned green but Auston was still stuck in his daze.

“The lights green.” You whispered, pointing awkwardly out of the windshield trying to pull him back to reality. You picked up your phone and saw Mitch’s name across the screen. As you swiped your finger across the screen to answer you felt the car move forward once again. Hearing a slight grumble escape from Auston’s mouth.

“What’s up?” You questioned to Mitch through the phone. You’d hate to admit it, but you were slightly upset. You were glad this gave you more time to think about taking the next step with Auston, but now you’ve realized you’re probably a little bit more interested in him than you thought.

“Where did you guys go?” Mitch asked. Due to the sound of his lips smacking you figured he had gone inside to grab a snack seeing neither you or Auston were still in the house.

“Uhhh” you paused turning towards Auston. You had no idea where he was taking you and you didn’t exactly want Mitch knowing that the two of you were running off somewhere secret just yet.

“We’re uhh we went to go to the grocery store.” You finally managed to get out. Auston immediately sent you a confused glare wondering what Mitch was questioning.

“We have a ton of food in the house?” Mitch continued clearly skeptic.

“Yeah maybe for the girls but not enough to feed us, plus six giant hockey players.” You argued and luckily you had a valid point. Matt and Syd didn’t go grocery shopping before everyone came over so the only food in the house is what they normally keep supplied.

“Good point.” Mitch spoke in between chews, clearly having food in his mouth. “Just make sure you guys don’t have too much fun.” He teased before hanging up the phone, not allowing you to respond. He knew you would quickly retaliate from his accusation, so he pressed the end button before you could speak another word.

You rolled your eyes clicking your phone screen off then placed it in your lap. You rested your head back onto the seat now knowing if you didn’t come back with loads of groceries, Mitch would be on to the two of you. Which you didn't want since you weren’t even sure what was going on.

“The grocery store?” Auston questioned clearly trying to hold back a laugh, thinking this whole situation was funny.

“It was the first innocent thing that came to mind.” You argued knowing that it was a better response than he could ever come up with.

“Yeah but now we have to go grocery shopping otherwise he’s going to tell the whole world how we hooked up in a parking lot or something.” He stated sitting up farther in his seat to now try and find a store the two of you could stop at.

“I’m very aware. Where were you taking me anyway?” You asked. Clearly the plans had been ruined but luckily you didn’t know where they were going to be in the first place.

“Can I be honest?” He started, you nodded your head yes in response. “I didn’t really have a plan. I was just going to wait for something to come up. So, I really hope you like shopping for milk and bread.” He teased with a smile plastered across his face from his own joke. You giggled and shook your head. It was a weird situation but at least the tension from the interrupted kiss was gone.. well so you thought.

“As long as I am with you I don’t really care though.” Auston barely whispered under his breath. You knew you weren’t supposed to hear it. At first you almost asked him to repeat it, but then figured it should be dropped. Besides, you didn’t want to think too far into it anyway.

Eventually Auston found a store a couple more miles down the road and pulled into the parking lot. This part of the jersey shore was your favorite. There were no commercial companies. It was all local family run businesses and it really made the area special. The grocery store had a gorgeous mural painted on the side of a farm with all different kinds of crops. You couldn’t help but stare at it for a while before following Auston who was watching you amusedly, halfway through the door already.

You jogged to catch up with him and was immediately hit by the cold air from the produce section that was off to the right. You grabbed a cart and followed Auston who you believed was pretending as if he knew what he was doing. It was your idea to go grocery shopping in the first place and it wasn’t like either of you knew the layout of this store, but he seemed to know exactly what aisle he wanted to go down.

He turned down the bread aisle picking up hamburger and hot dog buns, tossing them into the cart as if he was playing basketball. Obviously, you flinched a time or two not knowing how accurate his shot would be which caused him to laugh, so of course now he was going to do it the entire time you shopped.

He did it with the meats as well but this time you’ve stopped flinching now knowing he wasn’t going to hit you. You picked up a different variety of snacks as you followed him down each aisle and the cart was shockingly becoming quite full. Yet, the whole experience was becoming boring. You guys didn’t talk much besides “Hey do you think this would be good?” Followed by a yes or no answer. But the whole point of it was to get your mind off things and it seemed to have been working.

Auston picked up a carton of eggs and made the motion as if he was going to toss them into the cart with the other items. This caused you to have a borderline heart attack thinking he was actually going to do it, foreseeing the yolky mess he could have possibly caused.

“Auston I’m literally going to kill you.” You stated wide eyed holding your hand over your chest as you caught your breath. He couldn’t help but lean over the cart laughing hysterically at your reaction.

“Oh, shut up.” You teased slapping him lightly on the shoulder with the back of your hand. He stood up eyes still squinting from laughing as he held his arms out to you.

“Oh, come on you love me.” He accused wrapping his arms tightly around you, rocking your bodies back and forth. Of course, he was wearing your favorite cologne why wouldn’t he be? The scent filled your senses as you leaned your head into his chest and enjoyed the embrace.

Once his laughter had turned into only a smiling you looked up at him and shook your head not enjoying being startled, no matter how funny it was. His smile was contagious, causing you to smirk as well. Then, a domestic feature washed over his grin and his eyes looked as if they were studying you in a very loving way. You couldn’t help but feel the blood in your stomach begin to rush feeling as if a flower had just bloomed inside you.

“Come on. Let’s go back home.” Auston spoke, but it was in a soft seductive tone. Man, he was terrible at hiding his emotions. He slowly released his arms from around you and took the cart pushing it to the front to check out.

The way he looked at you moments ago was practically implanted into your mind. Every time he looked back at you to make sure you were following it reminded you of that soft glaze that had covered his eyes. You might not have been ready to move from your old relationship at the moment, but he was making it quite hard to resist. You knew it was about to be a long night.

________________________________________

Let me know what you think! ♥

[THE CHILDISH DARKNESS Recaps, Chapter 6]

[tw: gore, child abuse, adult / minor relationship]

------

SIX

The kitchen of the Natsukawa house had a small storage under the floor, a simple hole deep enough that an adult could hide there curled in a ball. Saburou liked doing just that. The dark, warm space embraced him like a womb.

Even if he should be the only person in the house, from time to time he could hear the sound of someone’s slippers shuffling over his hiding place, at other times bare feet running. Countless ghosts ruled the Natsukawa house. Sometimes what Saburou believed to be a child’s soul would stop right over him for a moment as if it knew he was there. Saburou hoped he wouldn’t have to stand face to face with the ghost, although to be honest, he didn’t wish to stand face to face with anyone right now. That’s why he was sitting alone under the floor in the first place.

After he climbed out for a toilet run, he realized that Ichirou’s wife Rihoko had been the source of at least one set of footsteps. Rihoko had gained a giant scar and lost an eye during Nozaki’s attack, but even if her face was still partially paralyzed, Saburou could tell she was surprised to see him. Apparently she thought he had gone out with Ichirou to search for their runaway mother.

After some dancing around the topic, Rihoko said she’d been just moving some of her stuff back to her family’s house. She mentioned seeing Yurio during the group therapy meetings that Shirou had been organizing for the families affected by Nozaki’s crimes. It’s not clear why Shirou would take the girl there. Maybe to try and get her to socialize, maybe to make her realize that her suicide plan had been just as stupid as Nozaki’s scheme. Apparently Yurio introduced herself as “Saburou’s girlfriend”, which now prompted Rihoko to ask if they weren’t doing stuff together that a minor decidedly shouldn’t be doing, and she didn’t seem to think very well of the potential relationship.

Saburou thought that maybe Rihoko was testing her husband. Quietly taking away more and more of her belongings every day, waiting to see if he’d take notice. She seemed to be more into Shirou lately [with whom she had slept a few times, that one in the previous book being the last one]. In a back-and-forth with Saburou she said that of course he wouldn’t understand her, as he was a pervert who did certain things in his own mother’s bed. Saburou almost hit her, but came to his senses when he thought about her scars. [And also immediately thought that he’d like to lick them and put her artificial eye into his mouth, because this is Maijo Otaro].

--

At night, the warm darkness of the storage was swallowed by the intimidating darkness of the night.

Lying in his bed, Saburou could hear the ghosts again. He didn’t know whether it was a dream, a hallucination – was he slowly falling ill? -- but the steps of the bare-footed child circled just outside his bedroom.

That night Kaede called to say she had seen Saburou’s mother walking through the Takefu train station on the day of her disappearance. Accompanying her was a handsome man in a suit, as unusually tall as the Natsukawa brothers.

The news made Saburou furious. Their mother had abandoned them and simply went away somewhere, with a man to boot!

Kaede expressed worry about Saburou, but he dismissed it saying he’s fine (as fine as a man routinely hiding away from the world in a dark hole can be, that is). Kaede asked him to go outside and join the search, and to call her more, and commented that Saburou really didn’t have anyone else to talk to than Kaede. Saburou in his anger told her not to call again and threw the phone against the wall, breaking it. For a split second he felt strangely like he physically hurt Kaede doing this, but no, he only hurt her with words. Still seething about his mother running away he got up and opened the bedroom door.

A ghost of a small girl with okappa hair stared at him.

--

Saburou realized he was still standing on the bank of the Mouryou Pond at night. From the forest came towards him a horde of humanoid creatures with long claws and fangs: the Chiuhi from urban legends, ready to eat him alive. Then Kawaji Natsurou with Jirou’s voice showed up and sent Saburou to the ground with one punch, allowing the Hiuchi to begin their feast.

Feeling the Hiuchi tearing his abdomen open, Saburou thought: Why would Kawaji Natsurou do this to him? Well, if that really was Jirou, he would feel hatred for the Natsukawas. Saburou clearly remembered the day when Jirou and Maruo had their biggest fight -- yelling at each other, beating one another, in the chaos even completely knocking over the pot with the stew meant for dinner -- while Saburou and Shirou could only watch dumbfounded. Then their mother came in and took Maruo’s side, but Jirou still refused to apologize, which resulted in being thrown into the triangular warehouse.

But it wasn’t just their mother. Saburou himself at one point pleaded for Jirou to just apologize, which could be seen as an act of betrayal. And after everything was done, the rest of them ate the stew like nothing happened, and no doubt hungry Jirou resented them for it too, and maybe that’s why he wanted to make Saburou ironically become dinner. Most likely he only targeted Saburou. Ichirou hadn’t been there during the fight, and Shirou wasn’t a traitor.

Dying slowly, Saburou thought about whether his life was actually worth anything. Just like Shirou said, he’d been writing stupid mysteries instead of expressing himself through his writing. Just like Kaede said, he’d never believed in love and so never really tried to get it. He had never felt true love. Surely there was gentle and kind love hidden somewhere inside him, but now he would die without ever showing it to anyone. He used to play Rachmaninoff, but eventually gave up on that too.

His soul wasn’t worth anything after all.

--

Saburou woke up on the floor in his room, the morning light having chased the ghosts away, but his abdomen was still hurting and bleeding, bearing a long, poorly stitched wound that shouldn’t be there. It hurt so horribly as if whoever did this to him put something inside.

There was no one he could ask for help in the house. He’d broken the phone after the talk with Kaede, and his cell phone was on another floor. So he was to die here alone, just like he’d been spending his entire life alone. But he didn’t want to die yet! He still had so much love inside him just awaiting the time it’d be finally given to others! Maybe Yurio would somehow telepathically hear his cry for help from many kilometers away and come back to help him!

The ghostly girl was watching him, maybe waiting for him to die so she could take him somewhere. Maybe he would become nothing more than yet another pair of ghostly footsteps inhabiting this house.

--

He woke up in a hospital room. Yurio hugged him strongly and cried.

The police explained to Saburou that he’d beeen a victim of a serial crime. Before him, seven other people had been cut open and sewn back together after having a plastic bag with a considerable amount of money put inside. Saburou was different in that no money was found inside his body.

As if reflecting his worth.

After a moment of relief that he’s alive, Saburou fell into the depths of despair once more. He had to start doing something to give his life more worth. As soon as possible.

(At this moment Shirou entered the room with some very Shirou-ish lines like “Hey there, Zero Yen!”, which didn’t help.)

--

Yurio stayed by his side in the hospital. One night she scuttled into his bed and Saburou thought about whether he should have sex with her [SHE IS THIRTEEN], finally deciding against it because it’d probably screw her up more and besides, he should “try to love her more properly”. So when she proposed sex, he told her that he loved her, and that’s exactly why he wanted them to wait until she’s older. [Cool, but THIS IS STILL CREEPY, NARRATOR]. She’s like “so when I’m 20?” and he’s like “no, earlier than that”, some day after he’d figure his own issues out. [Uhhh.]

She spent the next few days reading Saburou’s books (she seemed to like The White Forest). Saburou really wished she picked up a better book, and Shirou during a visit outright told her to just read Murakami or something else that’d match her taste. She replied that Saburou’s books are interesting and Shirou should really reread them and try to actually understand how good they are, to which both Natsukawa were like ‘what’.

Anyway, Shirou announced that he’s going to go find whoever had wounded Saburou, and that he’d be hanging around in Japan for some time more to tie some loose ends, even though he had his surgeon job back in San Diego. (“Investigation is my favorite job, ‘Burou!”)

Later that day Ichirou came to visit. Saburou told him about how Kaede had spotted their mother on the station.

“Kaede? Oh, that girl who was in love with you,” Ichirou commented, which earned them a look from Yurio.

During the conversation Saburou admitted that he didn’t really care about finding their mother, and that she might be happier wherever she had gone to. Just like it’d probably be with Jirou, she’d be miserable if they brought her back, and it’s not like their awful home situation hadn’t partially been her fault. Maybe it’d be better if they all one day removed themselves from that house.

“I won’t let you run away too, Saburou,” Ichirou said finally just before walking out. “You can’t leave me alone in that house.”

--

That night Shirou and Atena really did drag the culprit to Saburou’s hospital room. The man was Hayashi Tomoaki, a surgeon at Hokoriku Hospital who had used his skills to cut open people and leave money inside them as  compensation. According to the latest news, there had been 13 victims so far – as it turned out, Saburou was actually the 13th, but a bunch of the earlier victims only went to hospital after some time.

The thing was, Hayashi hadn’t actually been the one to attack Saburou.

According to Shirou, on the night of the incident Atena entered the Natsukawa House to check on Saburou, found him drunk and wounded, and saved his life with her medical skills. She wasn’t sure what to do next, as she thought that maybe a lover had stabbed him. If a word got out about Saburou’s tendency to get it on with everyone’s wives, it could lead to a scandal affecting the political careers of Maruo and Ichirou. Eventually Yurio showed up – apparently having heard her name being called from the sky, or something -- forcing Atena to flee the scene in order to avoid being mistaken for the actual attacker.

Not that there had been an ‘actual attacker’ in the first place. Shirou showed Saburou the real culprit: an old scalpel caked in calcified residue. Hayashi had accidentally left it inside Saburou during an appendicitis operation around ten years ago and only much later realized it was missing. To avoid anyone finding out about his mistake, Hayashi took to cutting open all patients from around that time to retrieve the tool. Unfortunately for him, he wasn’t quick enough to get to the one person he’d been looking for. Some sudden movement or impact made the scalpel move in such a way that it pierced through Saburou’s skin from the inside creating the wound. Mystery solved.

--

That night, when Yurio climbed into his bed again, Saburou said that he forgave her, and held her close as she burst out in tears. (It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright.)

“Why did you cut me open, Yurio? Were you trying to kill me?”

It wasn’t something hard to figure out. That scalpel couldn’t possibly make a wound that long and Atena’s stitching wouldn’t be that sloppy.

“I don’t want you to die,” Yurio sobbed. “I love you. Don’t you believe me? I’m sorry. I’m sorry. When I found you lying there, I don’t know why, but I wanted to see what’s inside you so much, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“You wounded me, but you were the one who stitched me up too, right? You hurt me, but helped me afterwards. I’m alive. I still love you. To be honest, I’m kinda glad this was what happened. I’m relieved it was you who punished me.”

Yurio cried harder. (It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright.)

When she looked up at his face again, she wasn’t Yurio any longer, but the ghostly little girl.

“’It’s alright, it’s alright!’ You keep repeating that, but nothing’s alright at all! You’re not alright! Many horrible events shall befall you all!”

Saburou’s heart stopped.

Saburou was dead.

When Yurio had cut him open to look inside, was there a soul there? Surely there wasn’t. Before he could realize it, Saburou was already dead.

[>>>NEXT>>>]

Survey #175

“imagine living like a king someday, a single night without a ghost in the walls.”

Have you ever had a teacher hit on you? Not to my recollection. Have you ever seen your ex’s new partner? If so, what do you think of them? I don't know or care if he currently has one. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months? Done it twice now, it's not difficult if you're picky and serious with who you date. Does anybody know about your sex life other than your partners? Well my mom was somewhat aware of things that were happening. What was the last piece of candy you ate? Good question. I got my tongue re-pierced because of a bar length issue with swelling, and now this one is just shy of long enough to disable me from biting down entirely (they're snake eyes, so across the tip). I'm only just getting back into eating soft things very slowly unless I want pain, so candy's a no. I have to wait no less than three weeks to get a correctly-sized bar, and it's only been just over one aaaahhh. Have you ever been dared to do something you totally regretted? No. Is your room painted or wallpapered? Painted. What is the best kind of pizza in your opinion? I'm an American I stan them meat lovers. Is there something that someone has done to you that you cannot forgive? No. Well actually idk, I still don't know for *sure* if I forgive him. Like I'm completely over it and it no longer affects me, but I could never ever ever ever look at him even remotely the same or even consider trusting him. I don't think that's supposed to happen when you forgive someone. Have you ever broken a plate/bowl? Accidentally by dropping. What is your favorite restaurant? Olive Garden. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? I don't think so. Do you know anyone who has a homosexual parent? No. What type of music could this world live without? Pure screamo (no, not as a carpet term for metal). Are any of your pets “overweight”? No. Who’s the last person you cried over? Does myself count? Did the house you grew up in have a fence? Yeah, but not all around. What’s your YouTube channel name? 0zzkat. Who of your FB friends has the cutest toddler(s)? Uhhhh idk. Anastasia's baby girl is pretty cute, I guess. Did you decorate pumpkins this year? No. :/ They were totally gone the day we were gonna get one (the day before Halloween so no, we weren't that surprised lmao). What’s the craziest color you’d dye your hair? More like what color WOULDN'T I dye it? What’s the coolest hobby one of your friends has? Uhhh. Idk. Name a video game you can play over and over again? Shadow of the Colossus. I've beaten it around 30 times. Would be more if I didn't lose the disc, buuut it's actually coming in the mail now! What is something that will make you laugh instantly? Don't show me that fucking Linkin Park "crawling in my crawl" worm video. Name a movie you wouldn’t watch solely based on its name? None come to mind. What’s your dearest souvenir? *shrugs* What was the last strong scent you smelled? Probably coffee bc of Mom. Have you ever been in an unconventional relationship (long distance, polyamorous, same gender, age gap, etc)? If so, what challenges did this relationship present, and were they worth overcoming? Long instance + same-sex simultaneously. Distance is fucking hard when you really want each other's company, especially for emotional support. Being same-sex makes me nervous due to potential violent homophobics, especiiiiaaaally living where I do. I do it regardless, but even just holding hands leaves me worrying some asshole is going to cause a problem. I know my sister's husband isn't at all fond of it either and I'm 99% sure he's why Sara's never met the kids. But anyway, all those things are absolutely worth it. Would you ever consider something like a poly relationship, assuming everyone involved was alright with it? What are some things you think you would or wouldn’t like about it? Absolutely not, because I strictly believe in the exclusiveness of love. What is the most unhealthy relationship (whether friendship or romantic) you’ve ever had? What made it so unhealthy? Do you still talk to each other? Colleen, probably. We are just about the antitheses of each other, yet we were "best friends." We disagreed too frequently, she was drama-ravenous, we kept leaving and coming back, etc. No, we don't talk now, and I refuse to ever do so again as friends. Have you ever been abusive in any way? Were you able to change or make amends, or, in general, what do you think people should do to make amends in that situation? No. I absolutely do not believe in "making amends" with your abuser. Keep them the fuck out of your life. Have you ever forgiven someone for being abusive or allowed someone toxic back into your life? Did this person change for the better or not? Toxic... you mean Colleen? Did it too many times, and no, she didn't. Do you feel like your age matches your emotional development? If not, what age level or maturity level do you feel best represents where you’re at? Part of me says no, another says yes. I guess it depends on the subject. What is one thing about your personality that embarrasses you, but you can’t seem to change it no matter how hard you try? Have other people called you out on this embarrassing thing? Being socially awkward as all hell, and yes. When was the last time you did something “meant” for children? Do you think it’s okay for adults to do these things (ie. watch cartoons, have stuffed animals, dress in cute clothing, etc), or do you think there’s an age beyond which it becomes unacceptable - and if so, why? I was playing Spyro just earlier today lmao. In almost all cases, no. I do believe that something like a full-grown adult playing pretend with dolls or something may be questionable, but even then there's not a real reason I can give you. What was the last thing to “trigger” you (as in, in a true mental health sense, I’m being serious here) and how did you cope with it? What kinds of things do you tend to find triggering? What do you do either avoid or face your triggers? Something PTSD-related, but I can't remember exactly what it was, I guess because I got past it pretty quickly. There are certain songs I should avoid, I canNOT look at the medicine I ODed on, I don't like seeing or being near large knives at all... If you’re diagnosed with anything, do you feel that it accurately represents what you’re experiencing? All of them, yeah. What is a complaint you have about the mental health industry or about the type of treatment you’ve received from a mental health service? Have you ever had any particularly bad therapy experiences? I feel that too many people working in the field care far more about the pay than the people. I can't guarantee a professional truly cared about what I was dealing with until Holly Hill. I've had one particularly horrible psychiatrist that threw diagnoses and pills around like they were nothing (the most ridiculous being ADHD, which I in no way exhibited), and a long-time therapist I had was pretty bad, something I realized only after I started with my current one. She was strict about that "you've got an hour, you're staying an hour, you're leaving no later" shit, and we always ran out of things to talk about so I'd just be sitting there super uncomfortably and numerous times start crying because I felt so awkward, and she'd just take it as a sign that I wasn't telling her something. She drove "and how does that make you feel" and "what're you thinking of" into the goddamn ground. Yeesh, having been a mental health patient for so long, I could really write a novel here. When was the last time you realized you might be the source of a problem and NOT someone else? Hm, idk. I'm so uninvolved with others that that's a hard question to answer. What are some minor physical discomforts that really bug you (eyelash in your eye, a wedgie, rumpled socks, etc)? HAVING THE BOTTOMS OF YOUR PANTS GET WET. I hate chapped lips, too. Do you prefer vertical or horizontal stripes? Horizontal. Have you ever ridden a motorcycle? No. Are you ticklish? YEAH. Have you ever tried to make your own alcohol? No. If you were to join one of the armed forces, which would it be? I wouldn’t. Have you ever been in a submarine? No. Have you ever been in a hot tub or sauna? Only hot tubs. Do you believe there used to be dragons? No. What was your first alcoholic drink? A Mike's hard lemonade. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Idk, I was a baby. What was your first detention for? Too many tardies. Did you ever have a treehouse as a kid? No. Have you ever been on radio? No. How long has your longest ever phone call been? A few hours. What is a meal you eat extremely often? Or do your meals & food choices vary a lot? Ummm I guess some kind of chicken is common? When was the last time you felt unable or unwilling to speak your mind to someone? Idk. What was the last thing you changed your mind about? Uhhhh how am I blanking, I change my mind on things every five minutes. Who was the last friend you saw, and what did you do together? Sara's both my girlfriend but also the only "friend" I ever hang with now even tho we live several states apart lmao. I was there two weeks, so we did an array of stuff. Who tends to show up in your dreams? Do you ever wonder if you appear in anyone else’s dreams? Hell, I barely ever remember my dreams. Jason still shows up maybe ehhhh around or maybe less than once a month, and I have no clue why other than maybe there's some PTSD effects I don't actually detect or something? It's not like I think about him much, so I really don't see why he shows up, but the theme is constant: awkwardness seeing each other again, and he sometimes tries to get back with me (thank FUCKING GOD even in my dreams, I don't). Sara's in some dreams that I remember. Mom, maybe. What is something you wish you could say to someone who is no longer in your life, or something you wish they could know? Nothing. What is something you do to feel better when you’re scared? I'll usually turn to YouTube for a distraction. Who do you feel you can count on the most in life? Is there anyone you wish you could count on more? Mom. What is the strangest book you have ever read? How did you find out about it? Probably Bite Me by idr-who. I actually don't remember. What was the last thing you broke? How about fixed? Another sensor came off the keyboard. :') I dunno about fixed. Is there a sign or symbol that means a lot to you for whatever reason (eg. seeing certain animals or birds, 11:11 or other repeating numbers, syncs, butterflies, hearts in nature, etc)? Butterflies and semicolons. Hence my semicolon butterfly tattoo. Do you have any personal ghost stories or paranormal experiences? Yeah. What do you get complimented on the most? My hair. What is something unusual that you find attractive? why does?????? everyone hate fedoras tbh?????????? What time do you tend to eat your first meal of the day? And your last? BOY this varies so much like fuck. Sometimes I don't eat breakfast at all, sometimes I do right when I get outta bed. Dinner can be at like almost 10:00 with Mom's schedule, or I may have it like five hours earlier. What was the subject of the last video you watched? I'm getting into a horror LPer and I'm binging her Silent Hill playthroughs. How would you describe your overall aesthetic? I like pink but bloody guts and brains are cool 2. What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked? N/A What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid? Play video/computer games. Have you ever been close to drowning? No. Do you watch any Japanese anime? Not currently, but I've kinda had the urge to pick an interesting one up? Do you have someone who is protective of you (father, brother, etc.)? Mom and Sara above anyone else. Where was the last place you went, that you hadn’t been to before? Uhhhhh good question. I don't exactly go to new places often. Do you have any bad habits you aren’t working on changing? If so, do you ever think you’ll try to break them? I don't believe so off the top of my head? Then again I think everyone has little bad habits they don't try to improve upon, but I can't think of anything serious. When was the last time someone surprised you with their reaction or behaviors? I'm sure something with Mom, but idk what. Are you good at committing to things like Nanowrimo or Inktober? Nope. What is your preferred method of expressing yourself? Writing. Or drawing if I'm in the mood. Have you ever reached out to a crisis center for mental health support? If so, how was the experience? I tried to reach the suicide hotline via their online one-on-one chatroom because I was too afraid to actually call, but I ended up waiting I think 45 minutes before the OD happened. When was the last time you did something you were afraid to do, and how was the outcome? I drove at night and ordered food at a drive-thru myself. It went well. What is one positive thing you believe about yourself? I have a strong sense of right and wrong. What is something you have been through that has made you stronger? Depression as a whole. Other than money, what is something you wish you had more of in your life? Social life, success, and motivation to name a few. Is there anything that you tend to ignore for the sake of your sanity? Sure. Mental health stuff flares up sometimes if I think about some things too deeply. What was the last thing you argued or debated about? Did you eventually agree, or did you have to agree to disagree? Getting rid of Bentley, and neither, really. Mom knows we shouldn't have him for a world of reasons, yet she refuses to try to find a far more suitable home for him or at least talk to Nicole about it (he's her dog, but she doesn't live here), who's never even paid him almost any attention. I could rant about this for hours. What is something you wish was different about your family? THAT WE WERE CLOSER. What is your main struggle or focus in life right now? Getting out of the house/becoming more of a functioning adult. Are you more dramatic or stoic? I'm neither extreme, really, but I'd say I'm much further from stoic. Are you on medication for anything? If so, do you feel like it helps? Have you ever been afraid to take medication or had a particularly bad experience with it? A lot, but the only ones I feel don't work are the ones for my tremors and knees. I was on one med for a while that I was scared to take because it made me vomit (safe to say I wasn't on it long), and even my life-saver med made me sick at first, but I took prescription nausea pills to ride that out as my body adjusted. Do you prefer having long or short nails? Short, but not too short. When was the last time you had an argument with one of your parents? Idr. Do you tend to eat the same few things all the time or do you vary your intake? Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? Are there any commonly enjoyed foods that you don’t like? I'm picky and definitely have a limited palate. Some foods I can think of for the last question include fried chicken, BBQ, watermelon, tacos, all cheeses but American, aaaand I'm blanking again in an area I should have a book about. Do you have good body image? Do you feel more confident about your body or your personality? What is one thing about yourself about which you do feel particularly confident? Ha, as if, so personality. I like how open-minded I am. How likely are you to compliment other people? How do you react or respond when you receive a compliment? What are your favorite types to receive? It depends on the person, the atmosphere, and my anxiety level. I sometimes fear complimenting people because I don't want someone to be like "um why is she talking to me?"/"is she flirting with me?"/"why did she notice that?", etc. I become so giddy (at the very least internally) when people compliment me because of how my self-esteem is, and I really appreciate them. The compliments that mean most to me are regarding my photography. With how badly I want to be a successful photographer, people seeming to genuinely like what I do has actually made me smile like an idiot and giggle publicly. It just means a lot to me. Describe the last thing you reblogged? How many posts do you tend to reblog during a day? A clip of Mark having a fit over a dog in RDR2. How much I reblog varies greatly; depends on how much I get on Tumblr that day, what I feel like sharing at that moment, what I queue... Have you ever lost your cool at work or somewhere else important? What happened as a result? No. Do you listen to your friends’ advice when they give it to you? Depends. If it's Sara, I usually do. What’s the last kind of soup you ate? Vegetable. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It is pierced. The most memorable time that you skipped school, what did you do? I don't recall. Did you ever have a favorite teacher in high school? What made them your favorite? Coach Collie. He was very friendly, wise, his sense of humor was great, he cared deeply for his students, was super chill, shared life advice all the time, etc. etc. Can you think of a time when you were really obviously judged by your appearance? What happened? Not that I recall. What’s something your mother told you growing up that you actually listened to? Mind your manners. What are three emotions you experience regularly? Stress, content, but also discontent. What is your favorite Halloween candy? Reese's. Is there anyone who refuses to communicate with you? *shrugs* What was the last lengthy packet you filled out? Something for vocational rehab. Is there something you still can’t do even though you’re an adult or might be expected to do this thing? I don't have a job or drive. When was the last time you congratulated someone? Were you happy for them, indifferent, jealous? When I found out one of my closest high school friends is pregnant. I was obviously happy for her. What would you say is your STRONGEST emotion? Maybe not the most frequent, but the most intense? And what emotion do you feel most weakly, even if you might feel it more often? Anger; envy (but it's not often). Have you ever gone somewhere in your pajamas? What makes this acceptable or unacceptable to you? Plenty times, but it depends on my level of shits given and the location. Honestly wish pjs were more acceptable in public places cuz like why not, you've got clothes on, just don't go around where everyone can totally see your dick, ass, or tits. Other than the usual things like IDs, etc, what do you always carry with you when you go out? My phone. What type of photography do you enjoy looking at? Do you take any photos yourself, and if so, what types of things do you prefer to photograph? LOTS!!!! I particularly love fantasy-styled portraiture or macabre work, and omg give me soft lighting. I'm a sucker for emotive or conceptual portraits and the like. I like to photograph an array of things, but my faves are nature and animals. Have you ever gone out for the Black Friday shopping rush? Did you enjoy it, or not so much? Or, what’s the busiest shopping day you’ve ever experienced? Nope. Busiest shopping day I indirectly experienced was when I worked at GameStop during the holiday season... nope. It's a small store and it was flooded. I hated it. Idk about one where I/my family was the shopper. Do you enjoy reading diaries or stories you wrote from when you were younger, or does it embarrass you? If you’ve kept them, was there a particular reason for hanging on to them so long? No. No. No. NO. I can't stomach going any further back than '15 at the RP forum because fucking cringe. All old stuff like physical journals and such, they're long gone because I never want to see them again lmao. What would you say was your first true hobby? What about your most recently developed one? Hmmm, probably video games were the first things I was *really* deep into. Recently developed... good question. Is there one thing that throws off your mood more than others, whether it be lack of sleep, lack of food, heat/cold, etc? I'M FUCKING /CRANKY/ IF I'M HOT. Serious lack of sleep makes me moodier. What is one common area of life in which you feel you have little to no experience (college, children, marriage, etc)? Work and independence. What kinds of things are you likely to complain about? HEAT. If it's hot to me, you're gonna know. I'll complain if my stomach especially hurts, sometimes with other pain. Do you like to put any extra effort into your food in terms of presentation, or do you prefer to just put it on a plate and eat it as it is, no frills? I don't cook, so. But I'd definitely be the latter. When was the last time you were mean or rude to someone else? How about the last time someone acted that way toward you? I hung up on this insurance agency or whatever they are that call me every other goddamn day. I dunno about the second question. What kinds of things are most likely to make you lose your temper? Have you ever done something regrettable or embarrassing while angry? I fucking dare you to ridicule the mentally ill in front of me. Goddamn dare you. For the second part, not to my recollection. Do you have a large dog? No, both our dogs are medium-sized. If not, are you afraid of them? Not at all. Do your parents know that/if you smoke? I don't. What is the reason you last received money? Mom borrowed some from me so she was paying me back. Is anyone in your family sick? Not to my knowledge. Are you very upfront about things or do you "beat around the bush"? The latter, typically. Do you ever write poetry just to get your feelings out? Not really anymore. Middle and high school? I was all about it. I wrote only one poem this year. How many bones have you broken? None. Whose house did you visit last? My sister Ashley's. Have you ever bought a fragrance by a celeb because you liked who it was? No. Do you have a gazebo at your house? No. What’s your favorite brand of bottled water? Essentia.

Last Name

TV SHOW: GODLESS COUPLE: WHITEY WINN X READER RATING: SMUTTY + CUTE

Part 1: Last Night

Part 2: Last Debts

Part 3: Last dollar and eighty eight

Y/N POV:

“now little lady, I believe it’s time for your daily spanking” he smirks

“Ummm I think it is whitey” I giggle

“I still don’t see how this is a punishment you like it so much” he smirks

“It makes me good” I smirk

“It does, but I wonder if there something else I could do to make you a good girl” he smirks kissing down my neck “Hu what do you think y/n?” he smirks

“well maybe there is” i smirk as I felt his hand moving towards my pussy “but” i smirk grabbing his hand “I paid for a spanking to make me good” I smirk sitting up on his lap a moment kissing up his neck “didn't I, you know the agreement as well as I do whitey” I smirk moving my hand down to slowly tease his cock though his pants “I pay my dollar eighty eight cents and my sexy husband spanks me good, then when the pretty little wifey is back to being a good girl again she sucks her husband till he screams or he’s dry which ever he wants” I smirk making him groan

“But...I’m not your husband yet” he smirked

“Yet?” I giggle “planning on marrying me so soon?” I smirk

“i was actually, would think my sexy wife would want her spankings free as soon as possible” he smirks 

“That would be nice” I giggle

“and darlin’ umm” he groans grinding against me “think of the honeymoon” he moans

“Ummm the one night for a couple to get kinky and have a uncountable about of sex...we do that anyway” I giggle 

“I know, think of what I could do to you on our wedding night...or Uhh what you could do to me” he smirks before pushing me off him a deep look of lust in his eyes sitting on his bed normally putting his leg so I smirk getting up un tieing my dress at the back so the bottom skirt simply slips off as I stand in front of him making him smirk as I step over sitting on his lap “You are being very bad little lady” he smirks and I dont reply just press little kisses to his neck sucking and biting leaving a  hickey on his neck before he pushed me away from his neck “ah ah little lady, dont you go givin’ me love bites” he smirks pushing me down so i laid over his knee his hand on the small of my back moving to caress my curves more notably on my ass “dont you make a sound, else...no more snuggling” he tells me so I sigh biting my lip as his hand goes away and soon enough spanks my ass hard and I just groan in response to his hand squeezing my ass spanking me hard again and again and again and again each time harder and rougher on me 

“UHHH WHITEY!” I moan loudly

“No sounds else no snuggles, I’ll let you off just this once cause I now how horny you are” he smirks spanking me hard again having to pinch myself trying not to moan until at last he finished with me so I got up and pushed him flat on his bed sitting over him like he had done to me earlier “My Naughty little wifey back to being a good girl now?” he smirks

“Yes whitey” I giggle “Now does my sexy husband want to scream or until dry tonight?” I giggle

“Ummm tempting but...i’m not to sure” he smirks as I slip every piece of clothing he had off and onto the floor but leaving his pants around his ankles watching him squirm naked against his bed “Y/n?” he asks

“yes whitey” I giggle

“Suck me dry Please” he begs moaning a little his head rolling back against his pillow

“ask me properly and I will” I giggle

“Miss Y/n please suck my cock dry” he begs “Uhh Please PLEASE! I can’t take it you sat over me half bloody naked, the cold air against my hard cock i cant take it Please Please touch him, kiss him Play around all you bloody watch just touch me Please Y/n my darling”  he begs

“alright then whitey if your so desperate for it” I giggle bending down pressing tiny kisses to his exposed, hard, throbbing, desperate Head making him moan louder then ever his cock even shaking he was so needy “why are you shaking so much whitey, it’s not like this is the first time he’s been in my mouth” I giggle

“He knows what your gonna do to him, he’s excited” he smirks

“Oh really this is how excited he gets at the idea of going in my mouth again” i giggle and he just nods with a groan “love to see what he does now” I giggle sitting up and moving forward and before whitey could even speak I sat down on him running his cock between the lips of my pussy

“OH GOD Y/N DARLING!” he screams very very eager so I sat up a little more my hands sliding down his bare chest till my hand met his hand rock standing it tall allowing me to easily slip down onto him my pussy stretching still not used to him being so big inside me spreading my legs around him further for better mobility as I move up and down forwards and backwards slowly riding him just a few short little movements where all I had to do “YES YES! Y/N PLEASE OH GOD Y/N Y/N Y/N!” he screams grabbing my hips but I push his hands away slowly undoing my top half of my dress while he was distracted throwing it to the floor

“Oh whitey” I giggle riding him slowly for a few seconds

“Oh Y/n My love What are you-” He begins before noting my bare chest my  tits falling naturally his gazed burned me for a second and I could feel his cock twitch inside me uncontrollably “Y/n can I touch ya?” he asks sweetly and I nod his hands grabbing a breast each groaning as he groped them “Y/n ride me Please” he begs still paying with my tits so I slowly continued riding him his cock slipping so happily inside me  with him moaning my name and curses over and over losing his mind over the pleasure I was giving him until he suddenly let go of my breasts and pushing me back so I feel off him and his cock left my pussy  not even seconds later his cum sparyed everywhere exploding from his shaft all over him, his bed and a little on me I know some went on my breasts and a little on my hair “Uhhhhhhhh Oh Y/n” He groaned looking very tried all off a sudden

“Whitey” I giggled “what did ya do that for?” I ask

“Didn’t want to cum inside, dont wanna risk knocking ya up when I haven't even married ya yet” he moaned

“You didn't mind last night” i giggled

“Yeah well last night I wasn’t one hundred percent on you and me still being a thing at ten today” he sighed “You know as far as I knew you where going to hang a few hours later what would it matter if I knocked you up” he explained

“fine” I giggle getting the cum out of my hair and licking it off my hand before going down and licking his tastey cum off my breasts making him smirk at me rather enjoying the sight of me licking his cum of my tits before I bent down licking the cum off his head and going to continue licking it off his chest and abs 

“what are ya doing y/n?” he asks

“don’t wanna waste a drop” I smirk as I lick up another drop from his body

“You really like my cum dont ya?” he smirks

“Its so tastey” I giggle as I finished licking every drop i could get and sitting up again “Yummy” I giggle licking my lips at him and suddenly his playful smirk changed to another look of un controllable lust as he flipped me over so I laid on his bed and he sat over me as he did up his pants 

“i might be able to fuck ya for a while, but by god am I gonna treat my sexy wife to some pleasure for what she did to me” he smirks kissing me hard wrapping my legs around his waist until suddenly the door knocked loudly whitey sighs giving me a kiss before getting up doing his pants up properly and slipping his suspenders over his shoulders to make it look like he was just getting ready to bathe when he was interrupted going and opening the door making sure who ever is there cant see me as a wrap myself in his bed sheet it not leaving much to the imagination 

“Evening Whitey”  a female voice said at the door

“Oh hey Maggie..what’s up?” he asked her

“whats up? I brought you food you idiot” she says

“Oh well thanks Maggie..it’s just uh now might now be... the best time” he told her 

“whitey I dont give a damn shit if your shirtless, i’ve seen damn worse when your mama used to have someone hold ya down to bathe ya” she says trying to come in 

“No No! it’s not that I’m uhh Not alone” he whispers

“what you got a cat int here or somthing?” she asked making me giggle seeing my opportunity to both annoy him and well...mark my territory 

“Oh Whitey...come back to bed baby” I beg loud enough so anyone at the door could here me 

“who ya got in there whitey?” she asks laughing a little

“Knowone!” He says in panic

“I heard a female voice whitey, who ya got in there?” she smirked

“Knowone I swear” He says a little paniced so i just giggle knowing im getting him into all sorts of trouble but still wanting to make sure whoever is out there knows whitey’s mine

“Oh Whitey...come back to bed already my pussy needs you” I beg struggling not to giggle as a woman bursts though the door passing whitey to see me wrapped in his bed sheet on his bed naked this woman looked old in mens pants she looked like a cool lady

“Oh yeah...Whitey’s gonna take care of the new girl until her house is built, so my brother said yeah your taking real good care of her aint ya whitey” she smirked “I’ll let you two get on then” she laughed before going off again and whitey shut the door looking very mad at me

“what the hell was that little lady?” he asks sitting on the bed beside me

“marking my territory” I giggle snuggling on his neck and shoulder like a little kitten asking for love

“marking your- Ohhhh” he smirks finally getting what I was doing “Y/n, relax no girl around here is any threat to you, I promise, You aint gotta mark your territory every time a lady knocks on the door” he tells me “Okay? besides thats maggie she’s like like a aunt to me and she’s very much a thing with the school mistress” he explains

“Okay whitey” i giggle snuggling closer to him letting him wrap his arms around me and kissing my head before he tried to get me back to what we had been doing but I let him fall and get up and slip my under dress on

“where are you going?” he asked

“Know where I just wanna sleep, no more sexy stuff tonight whitey” I tell him sorting my hair out 

“Oh but-” he begins

“No more, I’ve had enough for one night” I giggle 

“Okay” he sighs leaning on the wall his bed is on “Y/n?” he asks

“Yes whitey?” I ask

“I now how we kinda joke around since we met about, you being my wife and all” he began

“Yeah” i blush

“you know, my naughty little wifey, I know we kinda do it like sexy talk and all but...would you actually maybe someday want to be my wife?” he asked

“Whitey..that’s a silly question, Of course I do, wouldn’t have gone along with it so long If I didnt” I giggle “and your the one saying yet like your gonna pop the question in a week” i giggle 

“Maybe I am gonna ask ya?” he smirked getting up and turning me to face him holding me closely to him “Y/n will you marry me?” he asked and I just laughed “why are you laughing at me?” he asks very confused

“holly shit you where serious?” i ask “I thought you where kidding or at least being kinky again?” I say very puzzled

“No Y/n I’m serious, I love you and I wanna marry you” he smiles 

“I love you to whitey but...don’t you think we’re maybe rushing into things?” I ask

“of course not, Y/n I love you, you took my virginity from me, what more do you want from me? I dont ever wanna be with anyone else, I want you to be my naughty little wifey forever” he smiles at me 

“aww whitey, and I want you to be my sexy husband” I giggle giving him a kiss “Yes I will marry you whitey” I giggle

“Oh i love you y/n” he smiles hugging me tightly 

“I love you too” I giggle hugging him close “whitey...I took your virginity...what about up your you know” I smirk 

“Oh you mean my-” he begns

“is that intact for me to have?” I giggle 

“i regret to tell you that...that virginity belongs to the broom handle” he blushes pointing to the broom in the corner seemly un used making me laugh “What! I got board and horny okay...I wanted to see if I like it” he blushed

“did you like it?” I giggle

“No I did not” he sighs going and getting changed for bed himself as I continued fixing my hair 

“Y/n Winn” I giggle to myself

“I heard that” he smirks “Trying out my last name are ya?” he smirks

“Y/n Winn...Mrs Y/n Winn, it’s got a nice ring to it” I giggle ignoring his comment

“It does” He smirks “Mrs Winn” he smirks wrapping his arms around me tightly “Mrs Whitey Winn” he smirks

“Hey I’ll take your last name fine you can keep the first name I like mine thanks” I laugh

“I know, Mrs Y/n Winn, i do like that” He smirks

“So do I” I smile turning and wrapping my arms around his neck lazily “I love you whitey” I smile snuggling my head onto his bare chest 

“i love you too Darlin’“ he smiles back kissing my head “come on it’s bed time” he smiles picking me up and carrying me to his bed laying me carefully in the corner of his bed so I got under the covers and picked up a little book from the table but i couldnt see much 

“Whitey, do you have my bag from the sheriff?” I ask

“course I do...why?” He asks

“can you bring it here a minuet” I ask so he brings me my bag and I grab my glasses from it and give it back to him so he goes and puts it back as I slip them on and begin to read as he gets into bed beside me and notices my glasses “what?” I ask

“Ya look pretty with glasses” he smiles at me

“shut up” I tell him taking my glasses off and leaving them on the table with the book “Night whitey” I tell him  giving him a kiss 

“Night Hun” He tells me giving me a kiss as I turn away from him getting comfy in the bed and he turns away too looking the other way from me I was struggling to sleep for a while to ....i dont know to sleep but I kept my eyes shut anyway until I heard in the dark silence “Y/n? are you still awake?” he whispered 

“Yes Whitey, what do you want?” I ask

“you know you asked me about my...you know” he smirks turning to face me and wrapping his arms around me 

“Your what?” I ask

“You know my other Viginity” he smirks

“What about it?” I ask

“Do you...still have that one?” he asks

“Yes why?” I ask

“Just curious is all darlin’“ He smirks kissing my shoulder and I could feel his cock hard behind me I could guess what he was going to do to me but he just moved back to facing the other way in the bed and from what I could tell went to sleep so I sat up a little grumpy he would inquire about such a thing and then not do anything with that info I looked at him and from what I could tell he was dead asleep so I wrap my arms around him and kiss up his neck

“Whitey” I giggle slyly

“Ummm?” He groans

“I’m horny again” I tell him leaning my head on his shoulder 

“Nope sorry Darlin’ your the one who sad no more sexy stuff tonight” he groans sleepily 

“Ohhh but whitey” I complain

“nope not doing it” he laughs so I just sit there often poking him 

“Whitey....Whitey........Whitey.....Whitey.....Whitey” I keep repeating 

“Y/n...what do you want?” he sighs

“I’m horny” I complain

“I can’t honey, you sad no more sexy stuff the dick has shut down for tonight, would a snuggle do ya for now?” he asks so I nod and he turns so he’s laid on his back so I lay my head on his chest as well as my arm soon enough falling asleep on him....