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kaistarus · 4 years

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Clickbait(YouTuberAU)--Chapter 5

Pairings: Kiribaku, Tododeku

Words: 4,437

Summary: A lot of great things came with being a big name YouTuber, but along with those perks were some serious drawbacks. One of the biggest being your lack of personal privacy.

Due to just one video, Kirishima's least well-kept secret has become a viral sensation overnight, and now he has to deal with the repercussions from both the YouTube community and the public. Hopefully, those he's dragging down with him won't mind...

Notes: Welcome to how many Buzzfeed Unsolved references can I fit into one chapter lol. Had a lot of fun with this, so I hope you all like it!!

Read the full thing here

Kirishima laid haphazardly across the leather sofa, upper body sunk perfectly into the cushion now melded for his form. He shoveled a mouthful of Americanized-Chinese take-out that had been ordered once too often that week and numbed his mind with another Disney princess movie. As Rapunzel cupped Eugene’s cheek, singing through tears to bring her new love back from the dead he brushed his thumb longingly against his cell phone. If only he had someone who would cut their hair and sing to him if he were dying.

“Are you just going lay there and mope all day?

Kirishima groaned, pausing the movie with his phone. “I’m not moping. I’m relaxing.”

“You’ve been on that couch for the past three days,” Sero said. He kicked one of many take-out boxes surrounding Kirishima. “In those same clothes.”

Kirishima pulled his childhood Crimson Riot blanket above his head. It had been a full week since he and Bakugou exchanged numbers, and the only thing he received from him was a thumbs-up emoji when Kirishima texted him about their video hitting number one trending. An emoji like that basically meant ‘fuck off’ in text lingo. Kirishima hadn’t known what he did wrong, but he could take a hint.

“Do you think you could be… overreacting?” Sero asked.

Kirishima pulled the blanket down far enough to glare at Sero. “I would never overreact about this.”

“Clearly.”

Kirishima didn’t care what Sero thought. He would rather lay here in the mingled smell of Chinese leftovers and armpit stench than face reality.

His cocoon of warmth was ripped away as Sero pulled the fleece blanket off. Kirishima sat up and reached after the covers, but Sero had been too fast.

“What the hell, dude,” Kirishima said, giving up and lying back down.

“Mina told me I needed to get you up today, and I fear her more on a good day than you on your worst.”

That was fair, but it didn’t mean Kirishima liked it. He turned to face away from Sero and burrow further into the cushion’s warmth, not suspecting Sero to grip his legs and drag him off the sofa. “Bro, what the fuck!” Kirishima said, kicking at Sero’s hands and gripping the armrest for dear life.

Sero won. Kirishima flopped belly first onto plush carpet, feet atop Sero’s lap who’d fallen over the moment Kirishima lost his holding on the side of the couch. Before Kirishima could berate Sero for ruining his depressive episode the couch cushions started to vibrate. He realized his phone fell between the cracks during their tussle.

Kirishima figured Mina was calling to check on him and he had a thing or two to say to her. He dug between the cracks, annoyance allowing him to ignore a large number of crumbs his fingertips were brushing and whipped his phone to his ear.

“Mina if you don’t start minding your own—"

“Kirishima!” Midoriya’s voice threw Kirishima off guard. He pulled the phone away and nearly dropped the device when ‘Bakugou Katsuki’ flashed in all caps. “I’m so glad you picked up.”

“Yeah,” Kirishima said confused. Midoriya was panting heavily, and it sounded like the phone was being jostled around. “Are you okay, dude? Why do you have Bakugou’s—"

“Everything’s fine! Hey, we’re filming today, and I was wondering if you wanted to come to hang out?” Midoriya asked. Kirishima strained to hear what he thought was yelling in the background.

“We, like, Mysteries Unsolved?”

“Yeah! You and I still haven’t talked. I need to get to know the guy that Kacchan—oof.”

There were muffled arguments after Kirishima assumed the phone had been dropped. He called out to Midoriya a few times, growing concerned when he heard a high-pitched squeal.

“Shitty Hair?” A husky voice filtered to his ear. Kirishima’s mouth went dry and he gripped the phone tighter.

“Uh, that’s me?”

“What did that fucker say?” Bakugou asked. “He’s a damn liar. You can’t trust him.”

Kirishima looked up at Sero who had started eating the rest of the General Tso he’d gotten for lunch. Kirishima kicked him onto his side.

“He said you were filming today and that I should come over.”

“Oh.” The line went quiet for a little too long and Kirishima had to check they were still connected. “That’s fine. You should do that.”

“Are you sure? I don’t have—”

“I’m sure.”

“Okay.” Suddenly the fact that he’d been wearing the same clothes for three days became more apparent. “I just gotta get ready and then I’ll head over.”

They said their goodbyes and Kirishima fell back onto his back with a sigh. Sero crawled to hover over him with a mocking look and Kirishima eyed him suspiciously. “What?”

“I would never overreact.” He said, voice pitched higher and face scrunched, shaking his head and clearly mocking him. Kirishima shoved him onto his side again and rolled into a squatting position to boost himself up. He had to wash off his depression stank.

~*~*~*~

Kirishima realized, standing in front of Bakugou’s red-bricked apartment complex, that it was a lot less intimidating than he remembered. Maybe because he didn’t have the feel of impending doom rolling around in his stomach this time.

“Alright,” Sero said, leaning across the passenger seat. “Text me if you need anything.”

“Yes, mom,” Kirishima said while rolling his eyes.

“And be safe. Those are basically strangers up there.”

“Okay, mom.”

“And make sure you use protection. I can’t take care of any more children.”

“Sero. Leave.”

Sero laughed and drove off, leaving Kirishima to grumble his way down the stone path lined with daisies and white-painted benches with hearts cut into the backs. Kirishima paused to watch a small bird drink from a layered fountain—had he seriously been freaking out over this place? He reached the glass vestibule that buzzed the moment he texted Bakugou he’d arrived. Unlike the last time he came to the complex Kirishima navigated the dimly lit halls much easier, only getting lost once. He blamed it on the random flyer informing tenants not to leave their dog’s droppings in the hallway.

He found the silver plaque reading 420 rather quickly and after a self-pep talk knocked strongly on the wooden door. He bounced on the balls of his feet, and when the door pulled open the guy with half his hair dyed from the party was staring blankly back at him. Kirishima remembered Uraraka saying he was Bakugou’s roommate and their editor, how did he forget he’d be here.

“Shitty Hair.” Todoroki—he thinks that’s what Uraraka called him—said. Kirishima waited for more, but after an uncomfortably long time staring at each other, he realized that was it.

“Can I come in, please?”

Todoroki’s eyes narrowed and he found himself shrinking under the gaze. He thought once things had been figured out between him and Bakugou this Todoroki guy wouldn’t hate him anymore, but it looks like he’d been wrong.

“Is that Kirishima?” Midoriya came bounding up from behind Todoroki. “What are you doing in the hall? Come on, we’re almost done setting up!”

Kirishima slid past Todoroki with as much space as possible. The apartment looked massive compared to how it’d felt crammed with all those people the night of the party. The furniture that Kaminari had fallen off was now pushed against the walls to make room for the set that Kirishima had seen in so many of their YouTube videos. An old wooden table and chairs became the focus and a backdrop was being set up behind them. Taped to the backdrop were wanted posters, maps with red string and post-its, and various black and white photos of vehicles, people, and crime scenes. Kirishima felt an uncontrollable smile start to form.

“I always pictured you having a studio or something.”

“It looks more complicated than it is.” Midoriya shrugged. “It’s already intact in Todoroki’s room. We just move it out here.”

“You keep the table in your room?” Kirishima asked turning to Todoroki.

“It’s our dining set.”

Kirishima eyed the old, cracked table and the two uncomfortable chairs. He couldn’t imagine having to sit on those for anything other than a short film session.

“Kacchan is in Todoroki’s room grabbing the last of the camera equipment,” Midoriya said. “If you wanted to go help him.” Kirishima did. He nodded to Midoriya and wandered down the only hallway that could lead to other rooms. He had no clue which door led to Todoroki’s room, but after hearing several curses he had a pretty good idea.

He nudged the ajar door open with his foot and found Bakugou headfirst in a closet.

“Fucking half-and-half bastard. I told him to leave them out, but nobody ever fucking listens to me. I swear to fucking god I’m going to lose my mind.” Bakugou muttered to himself while throwing clothing items and books behind him.

“Would you like help?”

Bakugou pulled out of the closet too quickly, causing a few crashes to be heard inside. “Hey.” He said breathlessly. Kirishima figured from digging around in the closet so long.

“Hi.”

“I’ve almost got it. Just hold on.” Bakugou said before diving back into whatever chaos Todoroki maintained in there.

Kirishima took small steps around the room that was about as plain as the owner itself. The walls were blank, the bedspread was grey, and even his computer desk was barren. The only thing that stood out was the two pictures hung above his bedframe with scotch tape. The first was him, Midoriya, and Bakugou holding their one-millionth subscriber plaque, and the second was two young boys in jerseys covered in dirt, the blonde boy had a cocky grin with his arm slung around a pale-haired boy who smiled shyly.

“You can carry these.” Bakugou offered Kirishima two heavy leather bags filled with equipment only Sero could name. He followed Kirishima’s gaze to the pictures on Todoroki’s wall and scoffed. “I told the hag not to give him that.”

“Is that you?”

“Yeah, but it’s a stupid picture.” Bakugou nudged Kirishima forward with his own case. “I don’t know why he likes it so much.”

Kirishima followed Bakugou out of the room to help him unpack the equipment while Midoriya and Todoroki completed the backdrop.

“Kacchan, I’m going to start recording the voiceover,” Midoriya said, walking toward the hall with Todoroki trailing after.

“Fucking do whatever I don’t care.”

“Voiceover?” Kirishima asked.

“Yeah, the dramatic explaining bull shit. Half-and-half cuts it in with us fucking around. It sounds cleaner that way.”

Kirishima nodded. That made sense. He guessed he never thought about it that intensely while just casually watching. “So, what’s the topic today?”

Bakugou shrugged. “The dynamic works better if I don’t know.” He said, struggling with a tripod. Kirishima sat cross-legged and watched helpfully. “I set up all the outings and Deku does this bull shit.”

Kirishima’s jaw dropped, “but I thought you hated being a ghost hunter.”

“I’m not a fucking ghost hunter.” Bakugou paused, staring blankly ahead. “Am I a ghost hunter?”

“I mean by definition...” Kirishima shrugged. “Sorry, dude.”

“I don’t want to be a fucking ghost hunter. This is bull shit!”

Todoroki poked his head out from the end of the hallway. “Izuku would like me to pass on, ‘Kacchan shut the fuck up. You’re ruining my recording’.”

“Tell him to suck a fat one.”

“I will not.” Todoroki left and Bakugou stuck his tongue out childishly.

“Izuku?” Kirishima asked.

“Yep,” Bakugou motioned for Kirishima to hand him one of the items lying beside him. “You give someone a place to stay and they betray you by sleeping with the enemy.”

“That didn’t sound overdramatic at all.”

“I’m not overdramatic.” He muttered under his breath. Kirishima leaned back on his palms and glanced back to where Todoroki had disappeared.

Midoriya’s head poked out from the hall. “Kirishima there’s a fun ransom note in this case and I was wondering if you wanted to do the voiceover for it?”

“Fun ransom note?” Bakugou shook his head.

“Me?”

“Normally Todoroki would, but since you’re here I figured it’d be fun to switch things up.”

Kirishima scrambled up and bounded down to the room opposite Todoroki’s. Bakugou’s room had a lot more to take in than Todoroki’s had. The amount of superhero merchandise—All Might specifically—that Bakugou had was impressive even to Kirishima. He had posters hung all over, actions figures and Funko Pops on bookshelves—most unopened, comic books resting on his nightstand, and an All Might blanket strewn across his black comforter. In between the superhero posters were a few pop-punk bands from the early 2000s that he was sure Sero would appreciate.

Kirishima’s eyes landed on a silver laptop on Bakugou’s bed that had a few YouTuber’s logo stickers on them. He noticed one was worn and nearly peeling off the surface, and it took him a moment to recognize it as his own logo. It was Kirishima’s first attempt at merch from nearly four years ago. He’d changed his design completely since then since hardly anyone had bought those. Bakugou had said he only knew so much about the Vlog Squad because Midoriya watched their videos in college. If that was true why would he have—

“Alright, here are the sections we need,” Midoriya said, handing him a paper with several highlighted sentences.

“Do I have to read it all dramatic?” Kirishima asked, skimming the words. He took a seat in front of their expensive-looking microphone while Todoroki clicked various buttons on the screen before him. This was all completely out of his basic editing toolbox.

“Just read them like you want to kidnap and murder a little girl,” Todoroki said somehow disinterested.

“Shoto.” Midoriya smacked his arm lightly. He muttered under his breath, leaning back and gesturing to the mic in front of Kirishima. He stared at it blankly.

“Don’t worry too much,” Bakugou said, leaning against the doorframe with crossed arms. “Whatever you do will be fine.”

“If not, I’ll just rerecord it when you leave.”

Midoriya smacked Todoroki again. Bakugou gave Kirishima a millisecond half-smile and that was all the encouragement he needed to begin. The ‘fun’ ransom note turned out to be extremely depressing, and unfortunately, Kirishima ended up having to read it several times before getting a good take. He fumbled over a few larger words, but Midoriya was incredibly forgiving. After all the unnecessary compliments he received Kirishima left confident that he’d performed decent enough for a working edit.

“Alright, time to get this bitch over with,” Bakugou said, kicking off the doorframe.

“That’s the spirit Kacchan.”

Excitement fluttered through Kirishima’s stomach as Bakugou and Midoriya took their seats. He sat atop their kitchen counter a few meters behind the film equipment so any noise he made wouldn’t get picked up by audio. Todoroki made a few final adjustments to Bakugou’s set up, ignoring his insulted rants, and counted off to signal the start of filming. Once the camera was on he moved back beside Kirishima, and it was clear by his cold demeanor that he had little intention of humoring him with a conversation.

Like all videos, Midoriya began with explaining that week’s topic while Bakugou half-listened, twirling a red pen between his fingers. They would be covering the unsolved murder of a young girl, a case that their patron had been actively requesting. Midoriya barely got three minutes in before Bakugou interjected.

“Are those business folders going to be a regular thing now?”

“I was planning on it,” Midoriya said. “Why? Does it bother you that I look professional now?”

“No. It pisses me off because I know a bunch of ghost bull shit is going to end up in there.” Bakugou said, leaning back in his chair.

“Well, it’s not bull shit, so sorry but—”

“Wait,” Bakugou turned serious and put his hands up. “Did you hear that?”

Midoriya shook his head and Bakugou pointed his pen downwards. “It was my chair squeaking. Did you think it was a ghost? I’m just making sure you know the difference.”

Kirishima snorted. Bakugou and Midoriya both turned to him, Bakugou’s expression elated and Midoriya’s crestfallen.

“Kirishima,” Midoriya said whining.

“I’m sorry.”

“This is great.” Bakugou crossed his arms behind his head for support as he leaned back. “We should have a live audience more often.”

“This audience is biased, and you know it,” Midoriya muttered under his breath.

Bakugou rolled his eyes and waved for Midoriya to start up again. They continued with the episode and Kirishima tried his best to force down laughter whenever Bakugou made a snide remark. It hadn’t helped that Bakugou would make direct eye contact with him after every incident.

Todoroki started mumbling beside him.

“What?” Kirishima figured there was no harm in trying with Todoroki.

Todoroki side-eyed him. “Bakugou’s showing off. This is going to be annoying to edit.”

Kirishima didn’t know what that meant. As far as he could tell Bakugou was acting like normal.

“Are you taking notes?” Midoriya asked. Bakugou had his head down over his small yellow notepad and Midoriya strained to see what it said. “When have you ever taken notes that doesn’t—Deku is a fucking idiot. That’s…that’s real funny. Are you proud of yourself?”

Bakugou wiggled his eyebrows cockily at the camera and made brief eye-contact with Kirishima again. He supposed Bakugou was acting a little goofier than usual, but Kirishima wouldn’t consider that showing off.

Todoroki groaned dramatically beside him, so he clearly disagreed. Bakugou listened to Midoriya explain the first two suspects and suddenly he slapped his hand over Midoriya’s mouth. Midoriya peeled Bakugou’s hand off and looked at him like he’d gone insane.

“What’s happen—”

“Deku, I’ve connected the fucking dots.”

Midoriya looked a cross between amused and angry. Kirishima had his hands covering his mouth and was keeping his laughter down by sheer willpower alone. He wouldn’t allow himself to ruin what he knew would become a historical moment.

“Kacchan, there is nothing for you to connect yet.”

“I’ve connected them,” Bakugou said. He went on to rattle off a theory connecting the first two suspects to the murder. Kirishima and Todoroki both glanced at each other confused by what was happening before them. Bakugou spoke with such confidence it was hard not to believe he’d just solved the case. Midoriya read through the paper in his hand, looking between it and Bakugou before throwing it behind his back exasperatedly.

“Yeah, that’s… that’s the second theory.”

Bakugou raised his hand for a high-five and Midoriya eyed it wearily. Bakugou didn’t even bother waiting before he high-fived himself.

There were only several minutes of recording left as Midoriya wrapped of the final theory, which was always the most ridiculous and would send Bakugou in a tizzy. He ranted for remaining time as Midoriya laughed, but once Bakugou calmed Midoriya ended their ride with his classic phrase, ‘for now the mystery remains unsolved’. Kirishima grinned giddily as the words left Midoriya’s mouth.

“Those guys were assholes,” Bakugou said, stretching his arms as he stood from his chair.

“I mean they’re all murder suspects,” Deku said, propping his feet onto the wooden table. “Do you think that’s ever been someone’s last words to a murderer? You’re a fucking asshole?”

“Those would be my last words.”

Midoriya laughed getting up to help Todoroki look over the past forty minutes of footage. Bakugou walked straight up to Kirishima who was swinging his legs on the edge of the granite countertop.

“So, was it everything you dreamed it’d be?” Bakugou asked.

“That was amazing,” Kirishima hopped off the counter, accidentally landing a little too close to Bakugou. “You guys were so cool.”

Bakugou flushed with color and looked away from Kirishima’s sunshine smile. “It wasn’t anything special…”

“That’s uncharacteristically humble of you Kacchan,” Midoriya said, a teasing lilt to his voice. Bakugou flipped him the bird.

“Can we eat now? I am hungry.” Todoroki said placing the camera back onto the tripod.

“You’re getting food with us, right?” Midoriya asked Kirishima.

“I didn’t know you were getting food.”

“We always have a celebration meal after we record an episode. Kacchan was supposed to invite you.”

“Nobody fucking told me to—”

“Do I have to do everything,” Midoriya muttered under his breath. He grabbed Todoroki’s hand and led him toward the front door. “Shoto is going to help me take something to my car. We’ll be right back.”

“But we aren’t carrying anything,” Todoroki said. Midoriya didn’t respond and Todoroki shrugged helplessly to Bakugou as he let himself be dragged out his apartment. Bakugou and Kirishima were left staring at the door confused.

“That was…”

“Tactless.” Bakugou offered.

“I was going to say interesting, but yours works.”

“Obviously you’re invited to get food with us,” Bakugou said, avoiding eye contact by staring down at his plain black socks.

Kirishima nodded. “I figured.”

The moment Bakugou did look up Kirishima’s mind was erased of anything he’d planned to say. All he could think about was how intensely attractive his eyes were, how privileged he felt to be in that situation, and how he wished his heart would slow the fuck down because there’s no way Bakugou couldn’t hear it beating.

“I’m glad you were able to show up,” Bakugou admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah, uh, I’m glad I got to see you again.” Kirishima didn’t miss the way Bakugou’s eyes briefly widened before he looked away.

“Sorry I never really texted you. We went to the middle of nowhere for four days, so I didn’t have cell service.”

“Middle of nowhere?” Kirishima asked.

“Yeah. We were hunting… bigfoot.”

Kirishima bit his lip to hold back another smile. Only he would find a guy who could use hunting bigfoot as a legitimate excuse for not texting him back. “It’s fine. I mean, it’s not like I was depressed eating to Disney movies for three days straight or something.”

Bakugou eyed him suspiciously and Kirishima immediately started backpedaling.

“Besides, we aren’t dating or anything, so you don’t owe me any explanations,” Kirishima said, hoping he could deescalate the suspicion.

“Right. No. Yeah. We’re not… that.”

Kirishima realized he may have de-escalated too much when an ounce of hurt flickered across Bakugou’s face. That was bad. He needed to fix that. Kirishima racked his brain for ideas, but he could only come up with stupid plans. Kirishima noticed Bakugou’s face scrunch up like he was about to overthink something, and he took a deep breath. It was time to do something stupid.

“Not that I would hate if we were…” Kirishima said. “Dating or something.”

Bakugou’s cheeks tinted red and Kirishima hoped that was a good sign.

“Right,” Bakugou nodded. “That wouldn’t completely suck.”

Kirishima didn’t bother holding back the smile that broke out. “Well then maybe we should—"

“We’re back!” The front door swung open and Midoriya strutted into the living room. "Shoto and I were thinking about tacos if that works for you… two…”

Kirishima hadn’t noticed how close they were until Bakugou backed up an exaggerative distance. Kirishima didn’t anger easily, but at that moment if looks could kill Midoriya would’ve dropped on the spot.

“We’ll just wait in the hall,” Midoriya said, quickly pushing a confused Todoroki back out the door.

Bakugou had both his hands on his face and he looked at Kirishima through spread fingers. Kirishima gave him a half-grin and shrugged.

“Can we talk later?” Bakugou asked. “If Deku walks in one more time he’ll be the star of our next video.”

Kirishima felt his face burn. “Yeah. Later works.”

Bakugou nodded. “I have to… get shoes and stuff.”

He left Kirishima alone in the living room. Kirishima smacked his cheeks so the blush would be gone by the time he went into the hall. He had his hand on the brass doorknob when he spotted a whiteboard hanging beside the door.

It was a calendar whiteboard, the type you usually find in college apartments. It was color-coded based on each boy for chores, appointments, meal prep, rent, and bill payments, and other random reminders—Bakugou had one about picking Todoroki up from his dentist appointment. At the bottom left there were stick figures of Todoroki and Bakugou that looked to be drawn by the opposite. Kirishima had never seen something so wholesome and organized in his life. He knew that if his house tried to implement this it would go to shit in less than 12 hours.

The right side was more chaotic and had been invaded by Uraraka and Midoriya. Various things like fuck Deku, altered with a yes please beneath it; Uraraka is awesome, rewritten as Uraraka is stupid; Kacchan smells, a sloppy GOOD scribbled underneath; and Todoroki is a boss ass bitch, which was left alone. This was more like what anything at his home would resemble.

“I got it because half-and-half needed to learn how to be a functioning adult,” Bakugou said, sneaking up behind him. “Nobody takes my shit seriously.”

“Can I write on it?” Kirishima asked, already reaching for the red dry-erase marker. He found a clean spot in the bottom right and wrote ‘Kirishima was here’ with a shark-toothed smiley face.

Bakugou stared intensely at the spot then nodded. “Let’s go.”

The moment they entered the hall Midoriya apologized which started an argument between him and Bakugou. Kirishima tried seeking help in Todoroki as the two trailed behind them, but it appeared Todoroki still wanted nothing to do with him. Kirishima hoped he’d be able to fix whatever was going on because Todoroki seemed like a big part of Bakugou’s life. Mina always told Kirishima that befriending people was his hidden superpower, so he would just have to hope that he’d be able to ware Todoroki down. Kirishima wanted to be a part of Bakugou’s life, and that meant getting along with the people who were in it.

Bakugou aggressively punched the down button for the elevator while informing Midoriya his poor taste in movies made his every opinion irrelevant. When the doors slid open Todoroki shoulder checked him while walking past and Bakugou paused his fight with Midoriya as if thrown off by Todoroki’s actions. Kirishima guessed it really was just something about him then wasn’t it. The two appeared to be having some sort of telepathic conversation now and Kirishima just leaned against the cool metal of the elevator’s wall.

Don’t get him wrong. Kirishima was thrilled to be hanging out with everyone but…

He hoped later wouldn’t be too far away.

#kiribaku #clickbait #youtuber au #bakugou katsuki #kirishima eijirou #bakugou x kirishima #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha au

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malithrvt · 4 years

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hi !!!! this is late like really late but like what they said, better late than never ig ??? wew anyways, i’m meg and this is my daughter mali, she’s basically an old muse of mine kdfnkr but i did a lot of tweaking but yeah i hope y’all would really love her as much as i do kdjfkrf. so a little bit of some basic stuff about her is she's very passionate about dancing to the point that she’d rather be kicked out at her own place and turn bitter than actually take over her family’s business cause na-uh that ain’t her type of thing. a no go, i’m telling you. another thing is, this girl can be scary blunt like she doesn’t even care anymore lol i mean she did end up fighting against one with the customer like oop- and so yes, below, we’ll go more deeper into her character and background. let’s just hope that i don’t end up writing something very long skjgkjrjkrter also give this a like and i’ll send you a message or two or just hmu if you guys want to plot!!<3

♡ ◟ ° › lalisa manoban, cisfemale, she/her, twenty-two ⋯ ❛ thank you for applying to HEAVEN’S GATE, MALI THEERAVIT ! before we start this job interview, i would just like to go over a few questions. you said your best attribute was PASSIONATE, right ? well, word around town is that some people find you to be a bit more BLUNT … but, nevermind that. i’m actually more curious about whether you were actually caught in a BRAWL WITH A CUSTOMER last year ? oh, you were ? that’s unfortunate. on the bright side, i heard that you excel at MODELING …. so that’s cool ! now, one more question … your last manager said that you were KICKED OUT BY YOUR PARENTS BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T WANT TO TAKE OVER THE FAMILY BUSINESS, is that true ? — haha , just kidding ! they didn’t say that, i just read that about you online . anyway , you got the job ! ❜ 】

mali was born in Phuket, Thailand but later on move to california at the age of two due to her family’s business. She belongs to a well off family but regardless, her parents taught her the value of humility. due to how busy her parents are, mali basically grew up loving her caretaker more than her own parents. they would always dance around, play tea parties with her dolls and a lot more but her favorite would definitely be when her caretaker would bring her to sleep by reading her a book or singing her lullabies to sleep.

as she continually grew, mali and her caretaker’s mother and daughter relationship grew as well. she was the most comfortable around them and would tell everything to them and somehow, she grew a little spoiled. when her parents sometimes scold her, her caretaker would make sure to comfort her with a cup of hot chocolate (her personal favorite) since it was the best thing she could do for mali.

just when things had been going smoothly, fun and chill (everything mali ever wanted) as if things were always going to be the same, as if nothing else could go wrong since hey, she had been living a perfect life for years, the most unexpected thing happened and everything else went downhill for mali. mali didn’t quite take it well when she heard of her caretaker’s death. lily (her caretaker’s name) on her way back to their place had a hit and run accident that caused her death. what made the whole thing worse was, lily wasn’t just out for a walk or anything simple. no, not at all, lily was on her way back with a gift they bought for mali’s birthday. ever since, she hated celebrating her own birthday.

mali locked herself in room for weeks... that turned into months. what was she supposed to do now? her parents grew lonely and decided that one of them were to take a break to get her mind of things and distract her when she showed no improvements after months of lily’s death. mali was then would be taken out most of the time as her mother tried to do everything lily did with mali but nothing ever worked because mali thought, it was not the same.

her mother who was not a fan of giving up decided to bring mali to dance lessons. at first, mali felt unmotivated at all, she didn’t want to but without knowing how or why, the moment mali did try something for once. she ended up finding herself getting lost into the music, the beat and her own body turned one as she twirled and moved her body. the world around her suddenly disappeared. it was just her and the music. every pain she had, every grieving she had, she made sure to expressed it through dancing and from that day on, she knew what she wanted to become and wanted to do in her life.

next thing that her mother did, now that mali had became more lively, her mother decided to bring her to their family’s business company and had her become the face and model of their own cosmetic line. she did shoots after shoots after shoots. mali loved it too, quite a lot but not as much as dancing. because of her own exposure, people had asked for her and ended up becoming busy as time passed by. photoshoots here and there. the only good thing about this was her mother let her decide which shoot she’d want to do or not. she loved modeling, she really did but it was also the very same thing that kept her from dancing.

she knew and felt that her parents were starting to prepare her to take over their family business but kept her mouth silent until the day they finally told her about the responsibility they were giving her. after everything that had happened to her, mali didn’t have any hesitation in her when she straight up said she didn’t want to and instead, she was going to do something she loved, dancing. her parents with the surprise look on their face, insisted that dancing would bring her nothing but their company would save her from starvation. what is there to lose after losing the person she deeply care about? so, she stood firm on what she said and did not falter when they said she was to be disowned when she won’t take her position as the family’s only heiress for the company.

mali, being the stubborn girl, boldly told them that she still will do dancing and thought her parents were probably just bluffing. her things thrown outside of their house told her otherwise. she was definitely hurt and was in disbelief. they really were serious, huh? not wanting people to find out about what happened to her, mali used all of her saving to buy a ticket and flew all the way to new jersey to start a ‘new’ life and started renting her own place. she went from one job to another, it was difficult at first because she was not used to it but eventually, she got the hang of it and is now working at heaven’s gate.

she does covers and her own choreographies too from time to time and would make sure to post it online, hoping and praying that people would get to notice her but who was she kidding, it was a tough world out there? she had a lot of competitors and there are a lot of people who are actually quite good and famous already. things are slowly going good for her though, from a hundred views to a thousand, to a thousand to five thousand, five thousand... now, so far, she was able to get at least ten thousand views and has a thousand subscribers

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

best friend: someone she had grown close after moving to new jersey, the person who have helped her in terms of finding a job on how to start life in new jersey basically

dance buddies: someone else who she dances with and does videos with

co-worker: someone she grew closer in time too where they basically gossip about shitty customers and all that, just the typical stuff

roommate: someone she shares the place with because the girl can’t afford to pay for her own stuff knkjfgnt the girl needs some help

frenemies: someone can’t stand but wait, whenever this person is sad or is need of help, she’s there kgnkrg

rival: someone who pisses her off, could be a co-worker who doesn’t like her at all.

fwb: someone she basically just hooks up with

and that’s it for now ???? i’m definitely up to brainstorm and all that so yeah like i’m down to anything !!!!

#stone:intro #aksfnkj oops i ended up writing something very long #skjgksj #i'm so sorry #but here you goooooooo !!!!#tw neglect #tw accident #tw death

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fandomsphere · 5 years

Photo

Welcome back to the FANDOM-sphere for another #fanfictionfriday ! This week we are bringing you the final part of our Lukanette fic How to Date a Superhero. If you’d like to read it on ao3 you can follow this (link) if you need to find our earlier parts, follow the tags on this post. Please enjoy and we’ll see you again next week!

Step 5: Win her heart.

Ladybug swung up onto a nearby building and opened her yo-yo into a phone to call Chat. She still couldn’t believe that she’d kissed Luka. It had been a spontaneous impulse brought on by how proud she was of Luka for being Ladybug. He was one of the few people she would trust with such a task and he had done it. He protected Paris. If they didn’t have to keep identities a secret she would shout to the world how great Luka was.

Maybe this was how she would get over Adrien?

“Ladybug?” Chat asked cautiously.

The voice hadn’t come from the phone as expected. She whipped around to see her partner standing at the opposite end of the roof. He hesitantly stepped towards her with hope in his eyes.

She smiled at him. “Hi, Chaton.”

Chat ran forward and hugged her, lifting her off her feet and spinning her once, before setting her down again. “I’m glad you’re okay, m’lady. I wasn’t sure if I could trust that guy you sent.”

Ladybug laughed at the enthusiastic greeting but quickly sobered. “Sorry, about that. The akuma got to me before I could transform. Lu… uh… my friend, was there and I needed to send someone to purify the akuma. I’m glad you guys could work together so well.”

Chat rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah… we did. Look, Bugaboo, this guy, he said that the two of you had been on a date and that he wants you to be his girlfriend. Is that true?”

“He said that?” Her heart soared at the thought of being Luka’s girlfriend and him being her boyfriend. It was looking more and more like her feelings for Adrien, while not completely gone, were definitely fading. “Yeah, we are on a date at the moment.”

Chat’s expression shifted into a grimace, before settling into something like a kicked puppy, or kitten in this case. “Oh… so he’s the guy you’re in love with.”

She almost corrected him, but swallowed it down. There was no point to it. It would only hurt Chat more to know that her feelings had shifted to someone else and that someone else wasn’t him.

“He is,” she confirmed.

He took a deep breath through his nose. “Great. He seems… nice.”

Ladybug nodded. “He is.” She paused for a moment. She really didn’t want to deal with his jealousy when all she wanted was to be excited about Luka. “Chat, I’m not asking you to be happy about it. And if you need some time-”

He waved off her concerns. “I don’t need time. You’re my friend and I’m happy that you found someone who cares about you as much as I do.”

Chat leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead. For a moment she thought that the gesture would bother her, but it felt different than the barely held back romantic affection that usually came from him. She lightly punched him in the arm. “Thanks, partner.”

“Just let him know that if he ever breaks your heart, he’ll have me to deal with.”

Ladybug rolled her eyes but appreciated the intent. He still cared for her. He still wanted to protect her. She was just relieved that she still had her friend and partner. Part of her had been afraid of losing him whenever she finally started getting serious about someone. “I’ll be sure to tell him.”

There was an awkward moment of silence where they just stood looking out over Paris. Except maybe it wasn’t that awkward. It was nice for Ladybug to enjoy Chat’s silent company.

“I said that I didn’t need time,” Chat said so softly she almost missed it. “Because I didn’t want you to think I wanted this to end.” He gestured between them. “But I… it does hurt… to know that you don’t want to be with me the way that I want to be with you.”

“I know.” She reached over and took his hand. “I know. But, know that I’ll always need you and want you by my side. Got it?”

He smiled at her. It was genuine and betrayed the relief he must have felt. “Got it.”

____________________________________________________

Marinette met Luka outside of the exhibition building. She hugged him and he kissed the top of her head.

“Is everything good between you two?” he asked.

“Yeah. It’s all great.” She really hoped it was. After everything her and Chat had been through together it would be devastating to have their friendship thrown away because she was dating someone else.

Luka took her hand and winked. “Good. I had one last stop I wanted to make before the end of the date.”

Marinette gave his hand an encouraging squeeze. All the apprehension from the beginning of the date was gone. It had been replaced by a calm assurance that she was exactly where she wanted to be. “Let’s go.”

They reached the Pont des Arts and stopped to look out over the Seine. There were other couples there that had stopped to chat or take photos, and passersby who crossed the bridge behind them, yet it felt like they were the only two there. Marinette yawned, feeling the events from earlier catching up with her, but she didn’t want the date to end.

“You amaze me, Marinette,” Luka sighed as he looked over at her.

“What? What do you mean?” she asked, blinking in confusion.

He lowered his voice so as not to be overheard and moved closer to her. “I was Ladybug for one night and that was the most difficult half hour of my life. And there you are, doing that every day. It’s amazing… you’re amazing.”

“Thanks, Luka.” Marinette blushed and looked down. “I’ll admit, at first I didn’t think I could do it. It was terrifying. But now, I couldn’t imagine, not being Ladybug.”

“And I could never imagine a world in which you aren’t either.”

Luka looked pensively at the water. She got the feeling that he had something to say, but needed to find the words. Part of her wanted to say something encouraging but silence seemed like the more prudent way to go at the moment.

He turned to her. “Marinette, I’ve never met anyone like you. You surprise me at every turn. Every time I think I’ve got you figured out, there’s some new discovery, like listening to my favorite song and finding something new to appreciate. I would like to keep discovering who you are and I’d like for you to discover who I am too… but I’d like to do that as an official couple. Can we?”

Marinette felt her answer stick in her throat as she stared at Luka with wide eyes. She wanted to say yes, but it was as if she’d suddenly forgotten how to form words. Something touched her finger and she looked down to see Tikki poking her head out of her purse. The kwami mouthed something to her that looked like “say yes!” and then nodded her head toward Luka.

She looked back to her date who was now looking at her in confusion. “Can we?” she tried. No that wasn’t right. “I mean, we can! I- we- I’m trying to say yes! I want to be your girlfriend, Luka.”

“I’m glad,” he said as he pulled something from his pocket. It was a tiny black bag. One usually used for jewelry. “I wasn’t really sure what I was going to do with this if you’d said no.”

Luka opened the bag and pulled out a thin chain that held a guitar pick hanging from it. The pick was light pink with a white M on it in looping script.

“It’s beautiful.” Marinette felt her stomach flip at the sight of something so personal. It was so… Luka, but it also felt like her.

“Can I?” he asked as he unclasped the chain.

She nodded and pulled up her hair for him. He reached around behind her and put the necklace on. When he stepped back, she looked down and touched the pick now hanging around her neck with her fingertips. “I love it,” she said as she looked back up at him.

Luka smiled and leaned in to kiss her. She tipped her head slightly to allow him easier access to her lips. They met in a tender kiss that sent sparks through Marinette. It was like fireworks going off in her chest at the sensation of the shared moment.

As they separated, Marinette hoped there would be more moments like that. It didn’t seem possible that there could be anything as wonderful as that kiss. But she had realized that Luka was someone capable of making her unimaginably happy with that one gesture. She didn’t think it would be smart to doubt him.

Luka took her hand and they began their walk back to the metro. Their date was coming to an end. It seemed like a dream that she was going to be waking up from as soon as she reached the apartment above the bakery. Marinette vowed to enjoy the last little moments with Luka before they arrived at her home. She slowed her walking speed and he matched her as he smiled knowingly.

______________________________________________________

Thank you so much for joining us for How to Date a Superhero. We have enjoyed working on this story and may continue it in the future with a sequel of the Lukadrinette variety. (This is still undecided). Please let us know what you thin of this possible sequel idea.

If you enjoyed this story, you can subscribe to our FANDOM-sphere Fanfiction Friday Series on ao3 and follow us on Tumblr, Twitter, and Facebook @fandomsphere

#miraculous ladybug #miraculousladybug #fandomsphere #podcast #marauderluverz #how to date a superhero #written by emery #emerywrites #ao3 #fanfiction friday #fanfiction #luka couffaine #ml spoiler #ml spoilers #silencer #lukanette

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rubiaryutheroyal · 7 years

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Phoenix Wright: Proud Punster - Pt. 1

Why am I purposely going to ruin my favorite video game series with this garbage? Because I can!

If you’ve seen the “pt. 0″ post earlier, please don’t look for it. It’s gone. I killed it. Mwahaha. No, but sometimes posts via mobile glitch up and ruin it once viewed from my computer. Since I only meant it as a placeholder and reminder for myself - that I probably could have just posted privately, gosh - I decided to can it. Sorry.

(Meanwhile, if people want me to share trivia about Takumi’s old development history, though, I can do it on my main blog! ...only if I get asked or a reply about it. There’s a lot.)

Since case 1-1 is so short (and awkward), I’ll collect all the jokes I could muster from it here. Have a nice read and relive the memories!

The First Turnabout

(1) Phoenix: *pacing around the lobby reading a file* Victim’s name is Cindy Stone. Location, her apartment. Time of death, between 4:00 and 5:00 pm. Cause of death, blood loss from blunt trauma to the head. She was struck once…

Mia: Wright!

Phoenix: Oh, Chief!

Mia: Whew, looks like I made it on time. Good luck today! It’s your first trial. You’ll want to leave a good impression.

Phoenix: Y-yeah.

Mia: How are you doing now?

Phoenix: O-oh, you know me… I’m always all Wright!

Mia: …

Phoenix: I-I’m sorry, Chief. It let it slip again, didn’t I?

Mia: Take care, Wright. The last thing we need is for the judge’s mood to be ruined by a bad pun.

Phoenix: I-I know, but I’m nervous as heck! It hasn’t been this bad since I had a class trial back in elementary…

Mia: Well, that was then and this is now. Don’t let it get to you after all this time.

Phoenix: Right…

(2) Larry: Oh, it’s all over! My life, everything, it’s all overrr!!

Phoenix: H-hey, Larry! What’s wrong now!?

Larry: Oh, Nick, I’m not long for this world…

Phoenix: Uh, you don’t look sick.

Larry: But I am! I’m feeling feverish, my hands are shaking, and my heart… My heart! It’s so empty…

Phoenix: …You mean your girlfriend, huh?

Larry: Ohh, Cindy… If only I could turn back the clock to save you…

Phoenix: Aw, it’s not all bad, Larry. You still have me, who believes in you.

Larry: Look, man. I know you’re just trying to make me feel better, but forget it. I’m a hopeless idiot who can’t get a date and when I finally do, I lose her for good. What else do I have to redeem…?

Phoenix: W-well… I may not be able to save your girlfriend anymore, but I at least can save you.

Larry: Nick…

Phoenix: Besides, there’s no way I’d leave my best friends hanging. Trust me. You’re in the Wright hands now!

Larry: …

Phoenix: …Uh, Larry?

Larry: …I think I see the light already…

Phoenix: H-hey! Don’t go there! It wasn’t that bad, was it!?

(3) Judge: Court is now in session for the trial of Mr. Larry Butz.

Payne: The prosecution is ready, Your Honor.

Phoenix: The de… um, defense is ready, Your Honor.

Judge: …Mr. Wright?

Phoenix: Y-yes, Your Honor?

Judge: This is your first trial, is it not?

Phoenix: Yes, it is. I’m uh… a little nervous, is all.

Judge: Hmm. Your behavior today will determine the fate of your client. Murder is a serious charge. I hope for both your sakes that you can control your nerves.

Phoenix: Y-yes, of course… Um, but if all goes well…

Judge: Yes?

Phoenix: M-maybe I can stay for the full subscription?

*the entire court goes still*

Payne: Hee hee. It looks like they’re doomed from the start.

Mia: Wright! I warned you about this already!

Phoenix: S-sorry, Chief! I just blabbed out the first thing that popped in mind…

Mia: Can’t you put in a little more restraint…?

Judge: …Mr. Wright.

Phoenix: Y-yes, Your Honor? (Uh-oh. Here comes the penalty.)

Judge: I wasn’t aware we had a subscription service for the viewing of these trials. Where do you go to sign up?

*another still silence*

Payne: Um, Your Honor, we don’t. It’s just a silly joke made by that rookie lawyer.

Judge: Ah, that explains it. For a moment there, I thought I was missing out on a great deal. Each one of these trials is an expensive venture, after all.

Phoenix: (You RUN these trials, Your Honor! Why would you subscribe to something you see in person!?)

Mia: …Well, at least we caught a lucky break with this judge.

Phoenix: (I didn’t even know there was someone who’d take my puns literally… Maybe we could use this to our advantage?)

Mia: Wright, if I were you, I’d be careful with those puns. They can still be potent.

Phoenix: Yes, Chief.

(4) Payne: Mr. Sahwit, you go door-to-door selling newspaper subscriptions, do you not?

Sahwit: Oh, yes! Yes, that is correct.

Payne: Please testify to what you saw on the day of the crime.

Phoenix: *visibly shaking* …Must… resist…

Mia: Wright? Are you alright?

Phoenix: Chief… his name… the puns…!

Mia: Just try your best to keep it in.

Phoenix: *desk slam* (Well, Mr. “Saw It”, I challenge you to be frank about what you actually saw! Larry didn’t do it!)

Mia: Please try harder.

Phoenix: Y-yes, Chief.

(5) Phoenix: OBJECTION! Witness, the murder weapon wasn’t a clock. It was this statue! Unlike a clock, it only has one hand on its face!

Payne: OBJECTION! Actually, the witness is correct. This statue is indeed a clock.

Phoenix: W-what?

Payne: Its head is a switch. You just tilt it and it says the time aloud. I didn’t bring it up earlier because I thought it to be a trivial detail.

Judge: Oh, I see. Well, Mr. Wright?

Phoenix: (…This ornamental statue is a clock? Then, that means… It’s an ‘okidokei’!)

Mia: …? Wright, what are you getting so giddy about?

Phoenix: Er, ahem. I-it’s nothing, Chief! (Dang it, Larry. You had that joke just sitting around, didn’t you…?)

[T/N: ornament – ‘okimono’; clock – ‘tokei’. ‘okidokei’ is a clock that is sits out as décor. Also, the verb ‘oku’ from the same ‘oki’ means ‘to be left out in the open’; hence why it was found on the floor.]

(6) Judge: Will the witness elaborate? Did you strike the victim with the clock?

Sahwit: I… I never…! Th-that day… I heard, no, I saw… saw… nggh!

*toupee fling*

Phoenix: *blat*

Sahwit: Shutupshutupshutup! That doesn’t matter! I-it was him, I tell you! I saw him! H-he killed her and he should burn! Give him death!

Judge: O-order! Order in the court!

Payne: Y-your Honor, a moment please! There’s not a shred of evidence supporting the defense’s claims!

Phoenix: What? He threw his hair at me! If that’s not trying to get out of a hairy situation, then I don’t know what it is!

Judge: Mr. Wright!

Phoenix: Your Honor?

Judge: Please, no more jokes, especially at this late hour.

Phoenix: M-my apologies, Your Honor.

(7) Phoenix: The clock wasn't three hours slow, it was nine hours fast! The victim hadn't reset her clock since returning home! That's why the time you heard when you struck her was wrong! Proof enough for you, Mr. Sahwit? Or should I say... Mr. Did It!

Sahwit: Ngh…!

*flop*

Judge: O-order! Order, I say!

Phoenix: *beam* (Now that’s what I call a hard punish!)

Mia: …How long are you going to pump your ego over yet another pun?

Phoenix: Chief, I won the case. Can’t you at least seem a bit happier for me…?

(8) Mia: Wright, nicely done! Congratulations!

Phoenix: Heh. Thanks, Chief. But I owe it all to you.

Mia: Not at all! You fought your own battles in there. It's been a while since I've seen a trial end on such satisfying note!

Phoenix: R-really? Even with all the puns I made?

Mia: I said it ended on a satisfying note.

Phoenix: R-right…

Mia: Still, I have to admit that as you went along, they started to get less annoying. I even had my share of smiles.

Phoenix: *grin* O-oh, thanks… (I don’t believe it. She actually liked them!?)

Larry: …My life is over.

Phoenix: What? Larry! You're supposed to be happy! What's wrong now!?

Larry: Aw, Nick… I told you. I’m still a dead man walking…

Phoenix: But you’re innocent! The case is closed.

Larry: …That still won’t bring her back.

Phoenix: (Oh, Larry…)

Mia: Congratulations, Harry!

Larry: H-Harry?

Mia: Yes, you! I can practically see the headlines now: “Harry Butz, Innocent!”

Larry: Heh... um... thanks! I really owe you one. I won't forget this, ever! Let's celebrate! Dinner? Movie? My treat!

Mia: Oh, no, I couldn't.

Phoenix: (Hey, I was the one who got you off the hook! And why is it that when Mia makes a pun, you don’t feel like rolling over!?)

(9) Mia: Well, I think our work here is done! Shall we be off?

Phoenix: Yeah, I guess so!

Mia: Say, how about dinner. On me? We'll drink a toast to innocent Butz!

Phoenix: Yeah! (…Did you really have to put it that way?)

Mia: Oh, speaking of Harry… You were saying part of why you became a lawyer was because of him.

Phoenix: Er, yeah. Part, at least.

Mia: You'll have to tell me more about it sometime! Maybe… over drinks?

Phoenix: Oh, sure… Um, I didn’t realize you were such a fan of drinking, Chief.

Mia: I can take a few shots from time to time. It might also get my mind off of a few things.

Phoenix: ? Like what?

Mia: Don’t worry about it. You’ve done plenty enough already.

Phoenix: …This isn’t about the puns, is it, Chief?

Mia: Well, you’ve had plenty enough of those too, but it’s not nearly as bad as what I’m talking about.

Phoenix: …?

#fanfic #pwpp #part 1 #1-1

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lydiamarshall92 · 7 years

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The fear of public speaking: three causes and what to do about it

The potential client you’ve been chasing for months wants you to make a pitch presentation to clinch the sale. The thought makes your mouth go dry and your stomach go queasy. You’re suffering from that most common of fears – the fear of public speaking.

In this article, I’ll explore three distinct causes of fear of public speaking and specific strategies you can use to reduce your fear. These three different causes of speaking anxiety relate to three different areas of the brain – the old brain (it’s called this in neuro ’pop’ books but is more correctly called the hindbrain), midbrain and the new brain (again more correctly called the forebrain).

My descriptions are a simplification of the science – in particular, the parts of the brain all interact with each other, so it’s not strictly correct to say that just one part of the brain causes nervousness. But I think it’s a useful model which may help you understand your fear of public speaking and work out the best way to reduce it. [insert brain diagram]

1) Old brain nervousness

Your old brain is the part of your brain that is constantly scanning the environment looking for threats. Survival is what matters to the old brain.

Many people suffer from old brain nervousness. In prehistoric times, being part of a group was essential to our survival, so one of the threats to our survival was being kicked out of the group. What might get you kicked out? Maybe standing out in some way, saying something offensive or stupid, or not performing up to expectations.

Fast forward to now. You’re standing in front of a group ready to open your mouth and your old brain goes (metaphorically): Uh-oh. This is a threatening situation. If you say something stupid, YOU MIGHT DIE!

It’s no longer true that you might die, but your old brain doesn’t know that. Your old brain activates your survival system: fight, flight or freeze. When it comes to public speaking, the most common reactions are flight or freeze. Flight – you avoid public speaking if at all possible. If you do have to speak, you speak as fast as possible so that you get through it as quickly as possible. Freeze – You feel stiff and artificial as you speak, and your mind goes blank.

If you can readily identify a previous experience which is causing you to be nervous now, the most important thing to do is rationally evaluate how bad it was. If you continue to tell yourself that it was a terrible, awful experience, it will continue to create nervousness for you into the future.

So rationally evaluate how awful it was. What were the consequences of it? Here’s an exercise you can do now to put these experiences in perspective.

Think of that nerve-wracking presentation experience.

How awful was it on a scale of 0 to 100%?

Imagine, your little finger has just been cut off in an accident!

How awful is that on a scale of 0 to 100%?

And now how awful is that nerve-wracking experience compared to losing your little finger?

Here’s what you can do about this type of nervousness:

a) Accept it

This type of nervousness may happen every time you speak. Accept that nervousness may be your ever-present companion. If you fight your nervousness by saying to yourself ‘I shouldn’t be nervous’, you’ll make it worse.

b) Get used to it

You may suffer from nervousness less as you gain more experience presenting. That’s because your old brain has gradually realized that this public speaking thing is possibly not that life-threatening. So desensitize yourself – take every opportunity to speak in front of a group.

2) Midbrain nervousness

Our emotions are regulated by the midbrain. In conjunction with other parts of your brain, your midbrain will make you nervous when you’re reminded of a previous nerve-wracking experience.

So if you had an experience at school where you were humiliated in front of your classmates, or suffered an embarrassing mind blank in an important presentation, those strong emotional memories may come back to haunt you.

Most people revise the awfulness of their nerve-wracking experience from somewhere near 100% to somewhere near 0%. They would prefer to relive that nerve-wracking presentation experience rather than lose their little finger. The loss of the finger helps them to put it in perspective. (If you’re happy to lose your little finger, imagine losing your hand, or the finger or hand of a loved one – at some point you’ll gain some perspective).

The rational reality is that most of the things that happen to us in presentations are not that bad. They’re nothing compared to the other things that can happen to us in life – like relationship break-ups, loss of a loved one, and serious health issues. The most serious consequences of a presentation going badly are losing a large sale, an election or other contest, or your job (though I’ve never heard of someone losing their job because of one bad presentation). These consequences are disappointing – but not catastrophic.

3) New brain nervousness

The new brain is the conscious thinking part of your brain. Most of us have patterns of thinking that contribute to our nervousness. You can reduce your nervousness by exploring your patterns of thinking. One of the most common patterns of thinking that contribute to the fear of public speaking are demands.

Here’s an example of how they operate. A few weeks ago I was running a training course. I knew that the CEO would be one of the participants. I felt myself get a little nervous as we were setting up. When he walked into the room I got hot and my heart started racing. Why would I react in this way? I have a demand around CEOs. It goes something like this: CEOs are really important and I must have their approval.

My demanding thought made me nervous. What was the result? I messed up the instructions for a simple exercise that we do at the beginning of every course and that I’ve done perfectly hundreds of times before!

Here are some common demands people have about presenting and public speaking:

I must be interesting and engaging

I mustn’t leave anything out

I mustn’t waffle

I mustn’t show I’m nervous

I’ve got to be able to answer every question

These demands make you nervous because you can’t guarantee that the demand will be met. To reduce their power, rationally analyse the truth and usefulness of these demands. For example, with my CEO demand I can see that it’s not essential that a CEO approve of me.

I don’t demand that everybody approves of me – and it’s irrational to demand that a CEO must approve of me. I can also see that it’s not useful to have this demand as it made me mess up.

Fear of public speaking can be debilitating, and can have you avoid opportunities in your life. I hope this article has been useful to you in thinking through how you can best reduce your nervousness.

Olivia Mitchell is an internationally-renowned presentation trainer and blogger who provides presentation training in New Zealand through Effective Speaking.

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