as the time approaches us, i just wanted to say that i am IMMEDIATEY sus of anyone who does not have an F mc (mainly @ those who have an mc for each ro EXCEPT F Hauville) and/or (doubly sus) doesn’t have any F content on their blog. 

as someone who's also black myself I definitely agree with the F hauville not being as popular, specially since friends to lovers seems to be quite a popular trope in if, specially when the character in question is white or ambiguously light brown/tan skinned, but the author never mentions where the character is actually from (I wish more authors put where the character is from in terms of ethnicity and nationality because the amount of white washed art/erased ethnic features in art I've seen generally in the IF community is not cute but anyways). I do have some problems with the way F and M are portrayed and treated by the author at times, specially when it comes to some of the racial stereotypes used and the portrayal of Sin, an assyrian character in Book 3 as a trapped man, but that's a point for another day. I absolutely adore Wayhaven but I do wish that F was treated better by the fandom. I think sometimes some fans kind of infantilise F and just brush them off as the sassy best friend with no other role in the story, which is kind of sad because if you actually play they're route you get to see that theres more to them than meets the eye in the same way that the other ros do.

why do i need to say more when you already said it all so well anon?

bloop! what more can i say to this? this is true facts. like i get that sometimes a lot of people ARE tired of that trope -- especially on tumblr; and people do love the angsty. But it is STILL a very popular trope for a reason. And I've seen with my own eyes how the sweet RO/best friend RO goes well over when they aren't black (and in certain circumstances, when they aren't a person of color period -- but especially when they aren't black*) that I can't fully buy that the preference argument isn't back with some racial bias. But whatever, people can make peace with themselves about it. I will remain sus.

have you been reading my brain anon? because that was going to be my NEXT bitchy/vent post. But I was like let me pace the dashes. But respect for put it all out there.

I need writers to bring back putting descriptions on their intro posts (they did it for a time but stopped) or doing a description post immediately. 1) Because of what you stated and 2) because I want to make sure I'm not wasting my time on a game that is fully white. /shrugs. I mean I guess it is good that, if they feel they can't write minoroities not to include them at all -- because as you said, I wouldn't want to invest in a story where the black and brown characters are then treated stereotypically. But that still doesn't mean that I want to read a story where the majority is white and the lone amibigously brown/East Asian RO is barely developed.

No, do go on anon. (When you feel like it that is!) I'd love to read your thoughts. I do think Sera has improved in respects of her writing of F and M as characters in the story, both in and out of their own routes. However, I do agree that the whole Sin thing did make me side-eye hard. I heard she's gotten sensitivity readers, so we shall see how that goes.

Well stated. This is, in the crux, is my frustration of the matter. That and the fact that this is STILL an issue. As I stated in my tags, I HAVE seen improvement -- but just going through the F Hauville tag shows how much F is still a general afterthought to the general tumblr fandom.

i’m back with receipts about why M is so focused on living in the moment, because not only do they not have a past, they also don’t have a future.

yes, I’m talking about what we learn about the crystal and the physical toll M’s pheromones takes on them personally, as well as others around them.

spoilers for book three below the cut-

first theory. the pheromones affect M much the same way they affect the detective. physical pain, as if their head is splitting open, when their pheromones surge - something that they cannot control, although the effects can be tempered by the use of the crystal.

but not stopped from happening completely.

second. the crystal is a fallible method that may not work forever. and M is afraid of that. They’re fiercely protective of the crystal, reluctant to hand it over to someone new - and this is not just because of the pain relief it can provide, but because it is literally the only thing stopping them from destroying themselves and everyone around them

so really, what does that leave them with? A past so painful they asked for the Agency to remove their memories, and an uncertain future based on what happened to them when they were turned?

it’s no wonder they’re so heavily focused on the present and enjoying the moment, there is very little opportunity for them to focus on the future.

i forgot how good everyone on here is at making supernatural better than it will ever be

Hi Maven!! Same q to everyone this week: what are your top 3 wincest episodes, and why?

ok im gonna cheat and do this in 2 ways hehe

a) top 3 sam/dean episodes

3. A Very Supernatural Christmas: has the samulet (their engagement ring, obviously!), you can palpably feel the isolation, the neglect, it's very two-children-in-a-motel-esque. and of course, the final scene, where i think, if there was any point in the series aside from the barn scene in which they would have said "i love you," it would have been there. the deep long stare, the watery eyes, the fact that they both know dean will be gone within the year, and then... "do you feel like watching the game?" ahhhhhhh drives me nuts

2. Swan Song: their love literally!!!!! saves the world, i mean come on. it has the whole wincest montage that you could literally set a richard siken poem to, or a taylor swift song to (look i know those are vastly different things but. bear with me), and it would just feel right. dean finally lets sam do things on his own. he lives because sam tells him to. sam manages to revoke his possession consent because of how much he's in love with dean, even as his fist is smashing dean's face into a pulp. ok i have to stop or i'm going to start crying in this goddamn airport.

Playthings: obviously. gothic horror episode of all time. picture-perfect family in the outside, secret sibling hidden upstairs. the way sam and dean's codependency is paired with that of the grandmother and her ghostly sister. the face-stroking. the almost kiss. god i swear it always looks like they're gonna kiss. sam writhing on the bed. dean staring at him like that. the subtext was about to bust through the screen, what with the acting and the way the plot and the meta-plot fit together perfectly. catherine tosenberger said it much better than i can, go read her article in TWC about wincest if you haven't!

b) top 3 family-horror-what-the-incestuous-freudian-fuck-is-going-on-here episodes

2. Devil's Trap: azazel uses john's body in a sexual manner against both sam and dean--primarily the latter but sam gets it, too. it's a chilling scene and really cements that this is what spn is about: never being able to escape the family. sam learns partly of azazel's plot, dean gets his daddy issues flayed onto him, and all through the eyes of the father. it's so well done.

3. Skin: imo the most damning thing the shifter says is, "i will be sorry to lose this skin. your brother's got a lot of great qualities. you should appreciate him more than you do." uh...what? the way he ties up sam and plans on torturing him also aligns with the shifter's pattern of turning into the husband and beating up the wife. another HMM moment actually comes from dean himself, when he tells sam that none of his friends will ever understand him and that dean's the only one who can...it's very isolating, kind of abuser tactics, and just. whew. this was episode SIX!!

In the Beginning: come on you knew i was gonna say this. aside from the obvious moments of "mom is a babe" (and remember, dean invokes sam into this moment as well..."sammy, wherever you are..."), samuel!azazel leaning over dean and smelling him, and samuel!azazel kissing mary--passionately returned(?), may i add, the plot itself sets up the winchester family as this enclosed, inbred unit. mary's kiss with her possessed father seal's sam's fate as part of azazel's army. the sexuality she shares with her father makes her son's blood diseased and cursed. the family line is tainted by incest. her kiss is what allows sam and dean to grow up that way, to become so codependent, what allows the moments of avsc, swan song, and playthings to happen! in the beginning. this begins the cycle of selling and saving souls--mary for john, john for dean, dean for sam. it's literally THEE spn episode, perhaps even more than playthings. even though sam's barely in it, his fate hangs over the whole episode, and this is full house of wincest at its finest.

Have you noticed any trends/patterns in what makes you 'fannish' about something? (Particular mediums, character dynamics, aesthetics etc.) Also, is there anything you love but don't feel the impulse to engage in fandom with?

This was a really interesting question, and I had to sit and think about it for a while before feeling like I had some good conclusions to share with you, Anon! I think in general there's three things that have to be in the mix that get me feeling 'fannish'/involved in the fandom for something: 1) Regularly engaging with the source material 2) A good community 3) Space to play

I'll put the rest under a cut because I'm sure I'm about to ramble for a while

So, with regards to point one, it feels relevant to mention that I don't particular feel like I've been a member of too many fandoms. I'd say two, exactly -- Zombies, Run! and The Wayhaven Chronicles. I've dabbled with things like The Locked Tomb Series and Dragon Age of course, but I never necessarily felt like part of the fandom, just because it was so large and multifacted, and I only briefly engaged with it as someone who contributed to those respective fandoms. But with ZR and TWC, they're both things that have stuck around longer, mostly because I've continued to play them for a very long time. I got started with ZR about 10 years ago. When I was my most active with it was when I was going out literally every day and listening to missions, which helped keep the story and characters really fresh in my mind. It also helped me constantly think up new themes and ideas I really wanted to explore within the setting and with the characters. Similar with Wayhaven -- I played through all the books when Book 3 came out in April and I've more or less had a play-through going since then. My actual play-throughs have fallen a little on the wayside just because of life things but I'm still thinking about it & engaging with the source material a lot. So I guess my point is, to truly feel 'fannish' about something I need to be a little bit obsessed, lol!

As for my second point, I've truly felt my most 'fannish'/part of the fandom when I find a good community to interact with. One of my favorite parts of being a fan is actually getting to talk about the material in question -- play with it, theorize, etc. The Zombies, Run! Fandom when I joined was amazing for that, and there continued being a really good group constantly discussing meta on their Rofflenet website the entire time I was a player. There was even a weekly zoom book club to discuss the current releasing missions! It was awesome! And with Wayhaven I feel like I've found a really nice circle of mutuals to sit and talk about the books with (and also obviously, my dearest Delucadarling, who I constantly talk about it with). Which brings me to my last point, is I really like having a lot of space to 'play' and feel fannish. With ZR, it has a huge sprawling universe of a zombie apocalypse, and only a very small portion is shown to the players via the audio. It leaves a lot of room to imagine what happens around the missions. And with Wayhaven, since only a portion of the story is out, it leaves a lot of room to imagine with happens next to all the characters. That is the sort of thing I really find motivating! And there's for sure plenty of things I love that I don't really engage with the fandom for, or engage pretty lightly. For example, I've really been loving Star Trek: Strange New Worlds and Lower Decks, but I haven't really done more than chat with a few friends about it. Similarly for a lot of the books I read -- I'll talk about them with a friend or two but not really seek out a lot of online content for them. I also watch a lot of cooking competitions, lol, so that's different for me to. If you've stuck with me for this long thank you! I really appreciated the question and I hope you have a great day <3

🔥 Onion on TWC 3 (if you have read it yet)

hi hello otto :>

TWC B3 was... certainly a thing that happened. i think the most telling thing is that i don't have a strong opinion about it one way or the other. it was fine?? more of the same??

the thing about twc is so much and so little is happening. all this time is passing, but the detective and their relationships only develop in the few moments we're shown. whole weeks are skipped and there's no change in these inexplicably magnetic romances--forgivable in a fantasy setting where things like travel and correspondence are to be accounted for, but in a modern setting?? i don't buy it.

i only played through once, the M route of course. some cute moments, i guess. the steam is gone from M's route imo, with the exception of the final intimate scene. the type of push and pull we got in B3 left me bored.

the trapper auction was a bit anti-climatic in my playthrough, although that may be due to my choice of picking rebecca over whatever the other option was. i was hoping for more mother-daughter angst.

my biggest complaints are some of the new topics are quickly introduced but the detective doesn't get to process them, or question the motives of other characters in relation to them (i'm looking at you, council scene. was it the council? you know what i'm talking about tho). the tone of the writing doesn't often match the events of the story?? it's like. idk, i feel like the agency and characters within, even rebecca, are corrupt, right? i'm getting all the signals, the story falls into all the tropes! but the text itself, and m*shka from a meta pov, insist they are Good And True. it's leaving me sour to feel like i'm reading a story that is narratively making and breaking promises to me in the same breath?? it's difficult to explain.

tldr: TWC was fine. left me a little bored and i only played once. i see no reason to resume the game and probably will not spend the $5-10 on the next one ✌

Send Me a 🔥+ a Topic, and I’ll Tell You My Honest Opinion About It

Unit Bravo and Intelligence

I saw this post by @honeysofte about how smart F Hauville is and immediately thought about some theories of intelligence. So, in my next instalment of: ‘probably unnecessary ways to analyze Unit Bravo,’ I’m going to apply Gardner’s Theory of Multiple Intelligences to our favourite vamps. (Also tagging @nates-gilded-pen. Thanks for listening to the rough draft!)

Gardner’s Theory is exactly what it sounds like. It holds that there are many different kinds of intelligence: musical-rhythmic & harmonic, visual-spatial, linguistic-verbal, logical-mathematical, bodily-kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal and naturalistic. I’m only going to be identifying the modality that I think each vamp shows most strongly. Because each of them absolutely shows intelligence in more than one modality but I’m not trying to write a thesis. And I’m not married to any of this and would love to hear other interpretations!

N Sewell is probably the easiest to identify. Because N ‘I speak all earthly languages and also a language from another dimension, and I own a literal library worth of books’ Sewell clearly has very high verbal-linguistic intelligence. Hence the languages. And the books.

M (and I am going to justify this) M very high interpersonal intelligence. That they don’t seem interested in other people is irrelevant, really. They’re an interrogation specialist. So clearly they are skilled at reading people. The pheromones and hyper senses might give M an edge in knowing what people are feeling/thinking but they still need to be able to interpret that information, and that requires interpersonal intelligence. Also, seduction, particularly if making sure the partner also has a good time, requires interpersonal intelligence.

F is friendly and empathetic, absolutely, but I would say has a higher intrapersonal intelligence. F is aware about others, but is also absolutely the most self-aware and the best at handling their own feelings. They’re open and honest because they know themselves, (the line about never being chosen before, for example) and they’re not afraid of their emotions.

A is actually the one who gave me the hardest time. But eventually I have settled on body-kinaesthetic. This is a person who can casually yeet a whole tree, and who has the capacity to break furniture just by handling it, but who when focused, can use a training dummy without damaging it at all, and can pull the detective away from the apartment gently enough to cause no damage. Consider the amount of control they have to exert over their body at all times just to ensure that they are not a walking hurricane.

more wayhaven science talk because I find this stuff legitimately interesting.

(tw for discussion of suffocation and drowning, as well as blood and medical topics. also death)

“murphy” had to have withdrawn probably around like, 1 L of the detective’s blood.

why do I think this? because transfusion bags are 1 pint each, there were two of them (one for each arm), and because transfusion overload is a real thing and it kills people.

basically too much blood in your body from a blood transfusion can cause:

acute pulmonary carcinogenic edema (this is called transfusion-associated circulatory overload, or TACO)

OR

acute pulmonary permeability edema (this is called transfusion-related acute lung injury, or TRALI)

in layman’s terms, if “murphy” had just added blood without removing an equal or larger volume, the detective’s lungs would’ve either:

filled with blood causing them to drown (TACO)

or

swollen to the point of suffocating them (TRALI)

granted, these take a few hours to take effect. but like. those hours were there. blood transfusions take 1-4 hours. the detective was (seemingly) out for the full or almost full duration of that blood transfusion.

i feel fairly confident assuming “murphy” did remove some blood, because even when the detective isn’t bitten (the blood loss from which probably makes up the difference), they do not die a horrible, horrible, slow death (or show signs of hypoxic brain injury). plus, he probably knows what happens if you have too much blood—he’d want his battery to live!

also i will say this again. these are horrible, horrible, *horrible* ways to die if you’re conscious. no one wants to die like this. you don’t even choke on anything tangible. you just slowly lose the ability to breathe. the life is being smothered out of you and you have no idea what it is.

basically what I’m saying is there were probably a couple pint bags of the detective’s blood that were lost in the ruckus somewhere and “murphy” may have actually saved the detective to some extent.

I want to at people but I don't know where everyone is, but this moment- especially that last line - makes me think of that F meta thats been happening in the past few days. About how F is more tightly kept than they first appear.

Nate Sewell - early years till turning

Okay, so I had this idea for a short fic spanning several years of Nate’s life, but that required that I go research the British Royal Navy, ranks and progression, and I ended up falling into a very, very deep rabbit hole. I spent about two hours yesterday just reading up and figuring out how things would have gone for him, and I think at this point I have a more or less solid idea of what Nate’s career would have been like.

I was just chatting with @mepheesto and she shared this post by @queerbrujas with me, and we both more or less came to the same conclusions, in a way that makes it so that Silvia’s ideas mesh perfectly well with mine, and one could very well be a continuation of the other, which is awesome. Go read Silvia’s post, it’s enlightening and she also includes some bits from canon that Mishka shared and which shed some light on the whole thing.

I’m going to talk specifically about Nate here, because it’s the Royal Navy bit that interests me and that I researched. Rest under the cut! It could get long.

Edit: DISCLAIMER: I haven’t read the Book 3 demo cause I want to go in blind, so I have no idea if there’s anything in there that might change what I say here ahahaha. Anyway here we go.

SO. Let’s assume that Silvia is right and Nate is, in fact, half Indian. It’s not really a far-fetched idea, especially considering the general political climate at the time and Nate’s personal details that Mishka has shared now and then in asks. By our estimations, knowing that Nate is about ~330 years old, he should have been born close to 1691, and lived more or less in the early 1700s. This is important for one main reason: the East India Company. 

By the 1700s, the East India Company was already in full swing and trading in the East Indies. While the rule of the Company in India effectively began in  1757, the Company itself was founded back in 1600, and established trade routes with the East Indies to bring back basic commodities like cotton, silk, salt, spices, tea, and opium.

It wouldn’t, therefore, be a far-fetched idea to assume that Nate’s father was involved with the East India Company, and thus found himself traveling to India more or less often, where he might have married an Indian woman and conceived Nate. Going from Silvia’s findings, Nate was then raised British in India, which means that he would have also been in an environment suited to learn Hindi growing up.

The idea that Nate wanted for nothing growing up also suggests that his family was wealthy, which would put him in a position of privilege amongst the gentry, even if not titled. And if his family was wealthy, then it would make sense to conclude that his father worked with the East India Company and probably held stakes in it and was part of the upper echelons of the Company.

Following this line of thought, we can also draw the conclusion that 1) he had more or less a background in sailing, even if tangentially, and, more importantly, 2) he had connections and at least some sway because of his family name.

Now, there are three avenues for a “gentleman” (or, in Nate’s case, a “young gentleman”), i.e. a member of the gentry who thus holds a higher social position than regular seamen on board, might have joined the Navy. And this is where things get interesting:

1) The traditional way: Nate would have joined the Royal Navy at age 12, probably to be taken on as an officer’s servant (the highest and most important position a boy–that’s literally the rank–could hold). There, he would have studied and learned the ropes of sailing while also serving a commissioned officer. After about 3 years, at the very least, he would have been promoted to the rank of midshipman, effectively becoming an aspiring officer. Being a midshipman also would have put him in a position of relative power, as middies were held above most seamen because of their social status. Once a midshipman, Nate would have continued to train and study for another three years, which would have him completing the required time at sea to take the Lieutenant exam and finally earn his commission (do note that passing the exam didn’t automatically get him a commission, but rather turned him into “passed midshipman” awaiting a vacancy). And so on and so forth, climbing positions based on a number of factors.

2) The less-liked and more-frowned-upon but still valid way: Less likely, since this would have required Nate to be born, at the very least, in 1714. Nate would have attended the Royal Naval Academy (founded in 1729) to study sailing for three years, which would have earned him two years of time at sea, with none of the actual time being at sea at all. He would have then joined a ship as a midshipman-by-order, paid less than midshipmen who trained at sea, but a middy all the same. The school, however, was unpopular in the Navy, because officers enjoyed the privilege of having servants and preferred the traditional method of training officers via apprenticeship. All of this said, even if Nate had been born at a time when he could have gone to the Academy, I personally believe that his family wouldn’t have allowed it, specifically because the school was unpopular.

3) The highly illegal but generalized way: Now, remember how I said Nate’s family was probably part of the gentry? This is where that’s important. His father, having social and political connections, could have used his sway to have Nate’s name entered in ships’ logs from a young age, without him actually being on said ships. This would have made it so that he would have racked up the required years at sea to become a midshipman or, less often, a lieutenant, without ever actually having been at sea. It would have saved Nate the arduous and sometimes grueling training at sea since he was 12, and he would have been able to comfortably join a ship at about age 17-18, as a full midshipman. I personally believe that if Nate had heard that his father was doing this (which I wouldn’t put past him), he would have opposed the notion, even as a child, and would have insisted on doing thing the right way. Which is also the hard way, but the payoff would probably have been much greater, and he would have earned his place, however far he went.

All of the above said, I choose to go with 1), even if 3) wouldn’t be a surprise at all. This makes it so that Nate might have spent his first 10ish years of life in India, being raised British, and having tutored, as Silvia explained, to then be sent “home” to England so that he might join the Navy when he turned 12 and worked his way up in the Navy at a time before all-out naval warfare had quite broken out (that was closer to the mid 1700s, if my research doesn’t fail me). At this point in time, the British Navy was starting to recover from their horrible defeat at the hands of the Dutch in the Anglo-Dutch wars, and had already helped defeat France in the War of the Grand Alliance, starting to establish their foothold as the largest maritime force in the world.

So, with this bit of background, and after my two hours of research, this is what I imagine Nate’s career, following a childhood being raised British in India, must have looked like:

- Age 12, circa 1703: Nate joins the Royal Navy, ranked Boy, the lowest possible rank one can hold on a ship. Being of the gentry, he is taken on as an officer’s servant and begins learning the ropes and applying himself. Studious as he is, Nate probably had no issue following the theory and the classes taught on board, but the more physical part, and getting used to life at sea, could not have been easy for him.

- Age 15, circa 1706: After completing his three years of time at sea, Nate is promoted to midshipman. He becomes one of the group known as the cockpit mates, who berth and mess in the cockpit, largely midshipmen like himself. Being a midshipman means that, because of his social standing, he now ranks higher than most petty officers, and is given responsibilities by his superiors when necessary (which could include commanding a small vessel if necessary). Being a midshipman also means that he is now considered an aspiring officer, which is to say, someone whose aim is to take the Lieutenant exam and one day earn his commission. He continues to apply himself for the next three years, showing excellent discipline and self-control, and probably an adeptness for strategy, charting, and a number of other areas that appeal more to his brains than to his brawns. He is, of course, still expected to perform the physical tasks expected of his position, and thus he’s filling in and gaining muscle, in addition to a nice tan.

- 1707:  The Kingdom of Great Britain is formed by the Act of Union, which had the effect of merging the Scottish navy into the Royal Navy, effectively making the Royal Navy the largest maritime force in the world, which maintains superiority in financing, tactics, training, organization, social cohesion, hygiene, logistical support and warship design. They would hold this title for the next century or so.

- Age 18-19, circa 1709: It’s been six years since Nate first shipped out as a boy of 12, and he is now a sailor in full, with all the knowledge and experience to back it up. Now that he meets the time at sea requirement of six years, he is able to take the Lieutenant exam, which he passes with flying colors, having had to stand before a board of three members of the Admiralty and answer their questions. Thus, Nate becomes a passed midshipman, and awaits the day he receives his Lieutenant commission.

- Nate spends the next 2 years or so as a passed midshipman awaiting his commission. Usually, passed midshipmen are placed on a roster to be promoted as vacancies open up, but Nate does have an advantage, and it is that he has connections and a family name that holds sway. Thus, as a gentleman, he is placed somewhere at the top of the list of candidates to promotion, and doesn’t have to wait as much as he might have had to to receive his commission. Aged 21 or 22, his commission finally comes, and he is sent to a new ship, with a new crew and captain, to serve.

Throughout these years, the War of Spanish succession (1701-1714) is in full force. Once it’s over, Britain is granted Gibraltar and Menorca, which gives them a foothold to begin establishing their naval empire.

- Now that Nate holds a position as a Commissioned Officer, gaining higher ranks is not simply a matter of application and hard work. At this point, being promoted largely involves a number of other factors: favoritism, likability and popularity are, unfortunately, large players, together with achievement. He does, however, still hold sway because of his family name, and I imagine he makes a name for himself as a man who runs a tight, yet efficient, ship while simultaneously not being hated, in large part thanks to his congeniality and generally friendly disposition. It’s a bit of a balancing act, like walking on a tightrope, and he does fairly well, all things considered.

- Finally, after a number of years serving as a Lieutenant, Nate is promoted to Master and Commander and given command of his own ship, probably a frigate. By then, he’s probably in his mid-to-late-20s. And it is at this point in his naval career that something goes horribly wrong. Tragedy befalls his ship, his crew, and himself. He barely makes it out alive, no longer human, but something else, something more. Enter Nathaniel Sewell, vampire. His career in the Royal Navy is thus cut short, and his human life ends when it was barely beginning.

art analysis: deconstructing lilas's a du mortain

This started as a “ha ha what if I did an analysis of your stained glass piece… unless”.

So here we are.

I am by no means knowledgeable in art analysis or anything like that, and I am by no means even someone who writes meta. Please be gentle with me.

The analysis I'll be going over is @lilas's stunning illustration of A du Mortain, found here. Analysis below the cut.

I’ll begin first with the chosen style of this piece, which is, of course, a stained glass mural. Much as the original purpose of stained glass murals were meant to convey Biblical stories to the illiterate, we instantly recognize the glimpse of A du Mortain’s past: of fire, of loss. A du Mortain remains centered here, a slumped figure, staring yet unseeing, while the flames rage around them. They’re surrounded by purple hyacinth and a star above shines down upon them and reflects into a pool of water their fingers graze.

Of special note is the movement of this piece. The flowers, the fire, A's (ugh, gorgeous) hair sweep up towards the sky, pointing to the radiating star that overlooks the illustration. Our eye gets drawn back down by the star reflected in the pool since it is a stark contrast at the bottom, letting us look back up, then down, then back up -- it's good movement and composition is what I'm saying.

Beyond that, the quality of the picture is of course, stunning. It’s also heavy with symbolism, and I’m enough of a dumb asshole to pretend like I know shit-all about analysis. I’ll go ahead and break it down.

The Star and Moon

One of the focal points in the illustration is a bright star in an otherwise starless night sky. In Book 2, Sanja noted to A in her prophecy that A fears the light: the light that we know is representative of the Detective. The star here is meant to be the light of the Detective: though their light and the hope that they represent is unreachable to A here in this moment, it will not always be so. The light is reflected in the pool, and although it is certainly distorted, it helps ground the possibility that A can reach for that light and connect to it. A’s fingers aren’t touching its reflection, but remains close and tangible.

The moon on A’s armor can also link us back to light. In real life, we see the moon because it reflects light from the sun. The Detective’s light reflects onto A, allowing us to slowly, but surely, see A for who they really are and allow their true beauty and soul to shine for us to see.

The Colors

Overall, the color composition of this is fairly cool toned: cool toned blues and purples make up the sky and the water and the flowers. Even the reds of the flames are more cool than they are warm. It allows the warmer toned yellow of the lower flames pop even brighter against the cool tone of the metallic green-grey of A’s armor: it’s a smart way of drawing the eye down to A’s figure and highlighting their importance in the piece.

Also of note is that the grey-green of the armor is echoed in the star above. The star, as previously mentioned to be representative of the Detective, is of a somewhat similar color to A’s armor, providing an additional link between the two. The star also serves as a bright spot in an otherwise very dark sky, serving as a beacon of light that A can follow to guide them out of the darkness they’ve kept themselves in.

The Flowers

The inclusion of the flowers is my favorite part of the picture. Beyond the reference to hyacinths in A’s route and what purple hyacinths mean (sorrow), and the tone it sets for A’s character, I also want to draw back into some Greek mythology on the symbolism of hyacinths. In Greek mythology, Hyacinthus was one of Apollo’s lovers. During a game of quoit, which involved throwing discs over a distance, Hyacinthus is fatally injured. In some versions, he dies because Apollo threw the disc with such strength that when Hyacinthus went after it to catch it, the disc bounced off the ground and hit him in the head. In other versions, Zephryus, God of the west wind, also admired Hyacinthus and changed the course of the wind to kill Hyacinthus out of jealousy. From Hyacinth’s blood Apollo created the flower we now know as hyacinths.

Both versions allude to A’s tragedy. Apollo feels guilt and blames himself for the death of his lover, just the same as whatever A did in their life they blame themselves for the death of their siblings and the sorrow they feel over their loss, even 900 years after the fact.

However I appreciate that the hyacinths have a duality to them: sorrow at the loss of loved ones, reflected by the haunting faces in the fire, but also the simple fact that they are still a living plant. They still reflect a sense of hope and growth. From Apollo’s sorrow he made a new life. He made beauty. Life from death, life from loss. Life in resistance to the destruction of the flames surrounding A.

Proof that despite all the pain and all the blood, life can, and does, persist. And so A can as well.

Transformative Works and Cultures Releases Issue No. 36

TWC issue 36 is out! It includes articles on historical fanfiction, racial justice, comic book fandom, censorship and Carmilla among many other topics. As always, TWC is looking for fan contributions to its Symposium section, so if you have written meta, take a look at the submission requirements, or find out more about the new issue: https://otw.news/transformative-works-42b351

I'm thinking about M's hypersensitivity again

and as someone who is hypersensitive to sounds myself, I cannot help but project heavily onto them

like i appreciate that some sounds are super overwhelming for them and to the best of her ability, mishka has portrayed that

but I think we need to also talk about sounds that soothe them. sounds that they stim with

not just white noise. but rhythmic music that hits in exactly the right place in their brain. maybe a repetitive drumbeat, heavy metal, trance music or a punchy pop song that is catchy in just the right way

maybe it's rain. or the sound of nails tapping on plastic.

M just cuddling with their SO and they start scratching the fabric of their shirt because the sound of their nail against the fibers is soothing to them

Just M stimming with sounds in general

attollo: sebastian + theodore ariti

(using this picrew)

seb: 26. he/him. gay. local wild child who’s always always been a bit directionless. currently a retail worker + working side gigs trying to make it as a musician in the big city. main stats in persuasion & cunning. a bit selfish and prone to making terrible decisions. ♡ sysba and/or dreamwalker

theo: the quieter, more successful younger brother who’d left town- and now seb is trying to find him since he’s disappeared.

Mason & Winter Collins for Love in Wayhaven

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO THE WONDERFUL @narrativefoiltrope! Or, you know... just a happy regular day!! This is my (humble) offer for @loveinwayhaven which I'm very nervous to share lol but I hope Mason and Winter are doing great ♡ I fell in love with them going through Erin's blog and I *tried* to do them justice... I don't know whether I was successful or not, but I sure put all my love into this and I truly hope you like it!

A thought:

I was thinking about this post again - what if a detective couldn’t turn because of their mutation? (And if you want to read about that scenario, check out then it vanished away from my hands by @queerbrujas ). It’s an interesting idea.

But what if...the opposite were true? No one knows anything about the mutation, beyond magic immunity. No one knows what Murphy’s blood does once added, beyond supernatural energy drink.

No one knows that all that power will be turned inward. That absolute power corrupts. That in turning the detective they will unlock the power of their blood completely - and the detective won’t be able to control it, or themselves.

What if the detective turns, and becomes a monster, a perfect predator, unable to stop? What if UB has to put them down?