i forgot how good everyone on here is at making supernatural better than it will ever be

Is that Solaris I see on the cover of Superman/WW Future State? He returns! I am suddenly interested in Future State.

Anonymous said: So, Future State? Not gonna lie, at the very least I'm liking the artist line up. Also, Idk about you, but the designs for Diana and Yara Flor (the Wonder Woman from the Amazon) are the only ones that I'm really liking so far.

Anonymous said: FUUUUUUTUUUUUUURRRRE. state

Anonymous said: Thoughts on DC Future State?

Anonymous said: Thoughts on Future State?

Anonymous said: You’ve probably been asked already but thoughts on Future State?

Anonymous said: So... Future State just kind of showed up and is very mixed.

Anonymous said: Future State Superman has a heroic cop battling a villainous anarchist. Topical.

Anonymous said: On Dc future state announcements???

Anonymous said:So. Future State's been officially revealed. Your thoughts?

‘Future State’ this, ‘Future State’ that! Look, what’re you gonna believe, Jim Lee or your lying eyes?

So this looks...pretty good? Infinitely better than their previous filler stuff like Zero Month/Villains Month/Future’s End/Convergence. And given Jo Mullein is part of this, Bendis isn’t doing these Superman issues, Steve Orlando mentioned on Twitter that he was told to set aspects of this up in Wonder Woman rather than it being allowed to appear apropos of nothing like most of these, and this isn’t built around a *single* all-encompassing tone or hook - along with getting Dan damn Mora to do your main promo images and a bunch of the character designs - I do believe the plan is that this is still going to lead into new ongoing series, just all the last couple of those crossovers I mentioned did. That’s probably where we’ll see Bendis doing Jon, the Zdarsky/Fraction thing, I expect more of Ridley Batman, and maybe one or two others. In any case, nice to see a bunch of fresh talent in the mix and a more diverse lineup both on and off the page, and a lot of these concepts are neat, even if there are as always some turds in the punch bowl. The anthology model being carried forward from the Walmart titles definitely heralds more of the same, whether in the main line or for a continuation of this. And as for the books themselves, I’m gonna take my reactions one by one.

The Next Batman: Obviously I’m down for this.

Dark Detective: Bruce having a specifically defined new role (as do most of the rest of the old guard) is a smart move for making this sustainable. Tamaki’s let me down recently, but Mora, and also if this follows up on Detective #1027 we might see the Black Casebook. Backups definitely look tepid though. I’m probably gonna hold off on making a call until there’s a preview.

Harley Quinn: Pass.

Robin Eternal: ehhhhhhhh

Catwoman: Oh hell yes, V/Schmidt doing a heist.

Nightwing: Nicola Scott doing Nightwing! Andrew Scott wrote a decent little Wonder Woman/Metal Men teamup story in one of the recent anthologies, so I’m up for this.

Batman/Superman: YES. This seems to be a bit of a prequel thing, but who cares, it’s Yang/Oliver doing World’s Finest.

Superman of Metropolis: I’ve only heard of Sean Lewis doing a few indie horror books, but of course I’m curious about the Jon-as-Superman book and the groundwork I expect it lays. His costume works for me, fitting that ‘sleek and futurey’ mandate without actually rocking the boat too much (and its differentiation is a lot more tolerable with Clark still rocking the cape and trunks), and the premise is really interesting - not surprising, as editor Jamie Rich says many of the ideas for the Superman books came from conversations with Grant Morrison. Which is probably why we’re seeing so much Seven Soldiers and DC One Million stuff in here, although bringing back Manhattan Guardian, given his background, and this premise, for this moment, is questionable at best.

Superman vs. Imperious Lex: This is probably going to be the best thing to come out of this whole shebang.

Superman: Worlds of War: Privately I called that Clark would be rocking the Kingdom Come getup in here (with the belt buckle from Man of Tomorrow for some reason?). I did NOT call that he would literally have the God of War sword. I’d be skeptical at best, but PKJ and Rich have both assured they’re not doing a Dark Superman thing with this, and hot damn, Midnighter backup by Becky Cloonan!

Superman/Wonder Woman: I think this is going to turn out to be one of the biggest gems of this entire enterprise. Dan Watters did an absolutely phenomenal short story for the last Batman: Secret Files, and it’s a big teamup against Solaris!

Kara Zor-El, Superwoman: The Bombshells team reunited! Here for it.

Justice League: God, this might be really good or it might be the biggest disappointment of the bunch. Just at the sight of that I want that to be the Justice League from now on, that is an all-timer iconic cover and set of designs to introduce a group of characters, the concept’s really good, and Flash being from another universe is so cool...and the actual book is Williamson/Rocha. Rocha’s a steady hand I trust well enough, but clearly this is where Mora should have been, and you’re really leaving this to Williamson? He has done good comics, but not many. I can only hope he’s basically a placeholder setting up the status quo for a Future State Justice League imprint book same as I think PKJ and Lewis are setting up whatever Bendis is going to do later. Still, I’m not writing this off entirely, Williamson has still done some good comics and this might well be as enjoyable a two-parter as it should be. And in any case, Ram V doing future stuff with the magic characters is a win.

Aquaman: I was going to say no thanks, but the premise is a little interesting, Daniel Sampere is a good hand, and I haven’t seen Brandon Thomas’s work before but at a glance he seems to have tried some ambitious sci-fi work at Image. I’ll call this a maybe.

The Flash: Hahaha, now we’re in the shit of it. Literally there is nothing about this that would indicate it was set in the future if not for the title, a flat regurgitation of the most tired old bullshit, and it’s by a Young Justice writer to boot. Glad to know even in the future the regular Flash book is going to suck.

Teen Titans: Speaking of books we can be assured will always suck

Shazam!: Who could possibly care

Green Lantern: This one I kinda don’t blame for being nothing, Far Sector is the big Green Lantern thing in this period and they’re not gonna fuck with that so they gotta work around the fringes. Hardly sympathetic enough to get me to buy it though.

Suicide Squad: Okay, alt-Earth Flash rules, but you come up with a disabled Flash with a heavily redesigned but still recognizable and extremely rad new look - looking every inch the “Far Sector but for Flash” premise I’ve been calling for - and you put her in this nonsense? And you waste Javier Fernandez here too? I guess Robbie Thompson is passable from what I’ve seen and maybe the whole Earth 3 thing will result in this turning out alright after all, but this feels like a waste, and that’s before you get to the one story here set in the 853rd century being about Black Adam.

Immortal Wonder Woman: Oh shit this one’s gonna rule though.

Legion of Superheroes: So’s this one!

Swamp Thing: This will be excellent too but I don’t care about Swamp Thing.

Wonder Woman: I’m seeing some immediate division on Wonder Woman - some like her new costume and some hate it (I think it’s really busy but like it a lot with the blues highlighted when Mora draws it), and I understand some have problems with a Brazilian Wonder Woman rooted entirely in Greek mythology rather than any sort of indigenous religion (which I am not remotely qualified to weigh in on). I’ll hope for the best, and obviously it’ll be very pretty, but I wasn’t blown away by Jones’ writing when I tried her Catwoman book, and I hope she won’t fall flat on her face regarding representation.

I’d divide this up into

* Basically no chance in hell: Harley Quinn, The Flash, Teen Titans, Shazam!, Green Lantern

* I’d need to hear good word of mouth: Dark Detective, Robins Eternal, Aquaman, Suicide Squad

* Fingers crossed, getting it but it could go either way: Superman of Metropolis, Justice League, Wonder Woman

* Yeah, I’ll grab this one, looks fun: Nightwing, Superman: Worlds of War, Kara Zor-El: Superwoman

* This is going to be really good: The Next Batman, Catwoman, Batman/Superman, Superman vs. Imperious Lex, Superman/Wonder Woman, Immortal Wonder Woman, Legion of Superheroes, and though I’m skipping it, Swamp Thing

A pretty incredible preliminary hit-miss ratio, and along with all I said before, big shoutout to Darran Robinson for across-the-board incredible logo design work. Like the Superman books mixing Morrison and Bendis, Batman is hyper-topical with a black Batman fighting super-cops who hate resistors in masks (whole Bruce can still be part of the fight but has to reckon with not being the guy in front throwing money around and setting terms anymore), Wonder Woman goes for the obvious pun, and JL feels appropriately iconic, while the rest is hit-or-miss as not central to further plans with this setting. I had zero expectations of this as anything other than Future’s End 2.0 with a couple leading into the not-5G imprint, but while I think that’s still the same basic endgame, for the most part it feels like they’re really trying with this one and I’ve got a good feeling about it.

Because of Hormones ||[Snowstorm Interlude [Soft Interlude]]

Summary: In late February, now that Nemo is consulting Sindri, Sindri decides to consult Olaf (pg-13 for practical sex advice)

@huldufolk-hjarn

Sindri: STAB ME WITH AN ICICLE OLAF ITS THE PERFECT CRIME NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW WHEN IT MELTS PLS JUST KILL ME

 Olaf: um no thank you?

Olaf: is it nemo again haha

 Sindri: he's asking me about having sex cowgirl style i didn't even know that was a thing

Sindri: like the name

Sindri: and like i have to help him bc i'm his hyung

Sindri: and i'm trying but

Sindri: i have not had a lot of sex olaf

 Olaf: well i havent had a lot of sex either

Olaf: what's a cow girl?

 Sindri: RIGHT i looked it up it's a girl on a horse which

Sindri: ew

Sindri: makes sense?

Sindri: if ur gross? idk

 Olaf: wait you have sex with a horse????

Olaf: that's bad

 Sindri: no i think it's jakldsfjlkjfd

 Olaf: do humans have sex with horses?!

 Sindri: i think it's like she rides the boy like she's riding a horse?

Sindri: i'm literally going to explode

 Olaf: ooooooooooooooh

Olaf: why is nemo asking about it?

 Sindri: i think he's gonna have sex with robbie

 Olaf: on a horse?

 Sindri: i don't think so

Sindri: i don't think horses are involved

 Olaf: oh ok so just robbie then thats good

Olaf: well! he's 16 right?

Olaf: i guess that's of age, we had sex at 16

 Sindri: yeah

 Olaf: thats exciting for him!

 Sindri: yeah i guess it kind of is

 Olaf: you still dont trust robbie do u

 Sindri: not really but i am happy that nemo is happy

Sindri: and i don't really have a good reason not to trust robbie

Sindri: it's just a feeling

Sindri: which is stupid

 Olaf: feelings arent stupid though sometimes they are irrational

Olaf: i think its good he texted you! thats what you should focus on

Olaf: it means he still trusts you and that nemo isnt alone, you know?

 Sindri: that's true i'm glad he trusts me

Sindri: i'm glad i can be there for him

 Sindri: Olaf

Sindri: did you um

Sindri: do you know more about sex than me

Sindri: or like

Sindri: are you better at talking about it lol

Sindri: bc maybe you could help nemo more

 Olaf: i do not think i know more at all ahah

Olaf: haven't we basically had the same amount of sex?

Olaf: I'm happy to try to talk to him though

 Sindri: i guess yeah

Sindri: you're just good at talking about stuff

 Olaf: sex just doesnt bother me

Olaf: really i think its mostly fascinating

 Sindri: talking about it makes me really shy

 Olaf: i know hehe

Olaf: i remember

 Sindri: don't giggle at me!

 Olaf: its a friendly giggle i thought you were always so cute when you wanted to have sex

 Sindri: STOPPPPP

 Olaf: okay xP

 Sindri: now i'm all red

Sindri: so rude

Sindri: i'm gonna sick einar on you

 Olaf: einar will only kiss me and you know it

 Sindri: yeah because he loves you more

 Olaf: of course

 Sindri: i feel so betrayed

Sindri: my two best friends in the whole world conspiring against me

 Olaf: at least u have nemo, eh?

 Sindri: that's true at least nemo still loves me

The ‘Failed’ Sacrifice 

~ Ooooiii, hows it going fairies? I've been recently doing research & thought about BOTW 2 and the small cutscenes we get to see. And, of course, lots of theories have come out to figure out just WHAT exactly happened to Ganondorf & why he's dried out like a prune under Hyrule Castle 🏰 So join me in this semi-long theory of what I think happened to not only Ganondorf, but the Zonai Tribe as well... Also, your free to have your agreements & disagreements in the comments. Just...don't get harmful 😅 Alright, let's talk about the Zonai Tribe. Who were they and how did NEARLY their entire race mysteriously disappear? I say NEARLY because I believe their people still live, but I'll get to that a bit later. As we know, the Zonai were Ancient Warlike People during their time in Hyrule, though it seemed their people were pretty hidden from if not all, but most of those in Hyrule before Calamity Ganon struck. We also know that, thanks to the Barbarian Armor you can acquire in the game, that they were a strong Tribe and clearly from the 3 Labyrinths you can find in Gerudo Desert, Herbra Plains & behind Robbie's lab, they were clearly WAY more advanced than most Hylians, kinda like the Sheikah Clan, but... the real question is: if they were such a great and strong tribe...how did they go extinct (or to me, NEARLY extinct) ∆∇∆ - here's my main points I want to stick with: ONE: The Zonai & The Sheikah Clan had some kind of connection to one another. TWO: They "mysteriously" disappeared all at once because of a great sacrifice they made to keep Ganondorf locked away. THREE: The mysterious blue/green hand we see on Ganondorf heart before grabbing Link to help Zelda & him up was a way to stop Demise's cycle. Because...no reincarnation. No curse. FOUR: Someone, moreover the Sheikah, was close to the Royal Family who could have possibly tricked Ganondorf into going under the castle to "have the upper hand" on Hyrule. [C]∆∇∆ Okay, so let's start with the first. I believe the Zonai & The Sheikah Clan had some kind of connections with one another, though it seemed the tribe were seemingly standoffish to most of Hyrule. I say this because if you enter in any of labyrinths, what's the first thing you see? Specifically, in the air. [IMG=C8H] [CIU]Guardian Skywatchers. And I think we can all agree that sometimes these things can be annoying to shoot down, especially if you have terrible aim like me 🙂, but that's not the point. Now I know most may say: "Those could have been placed there AFTER The Zonai disappeared" And that could be true, which is why I'm not 100% sold on them working together, BUT, say for instance if that wasn't the case. Say if someone was so convincing to the tribe that they could help them achieve the one goal they had in mind: Stopping Ganondorf. Now, I say it may have been the Sheikah who leaned onto the Zonai because it was clear 100 years ago that Zelda's Triforce wasn't awaking & without a Royal Psychic ( which is usually ONE of the women in the Royal Family, possible Zelda's mother ) they were desperate for a way to get more time so Zelda could awaken her power since her mother couldn't teach her. Now, I say Zelda's mother could have been the one with the psychic ability because it's said that some females in the Hyrule Family have this magic stood upon them & pass down their knowledge of the next generation shows signs, meaning that not ALL princesses & queens of Hyrule have this ability. As we know, Zelda's mother died when she was only 6 from a mysterious illness & she didn't have a chance to learn her teachings. Some even theorize that she was poisoned by someone close to the Royal Family who could have been a Yiga Spy, but I don't know. It's not impossible considering the time era Legend of Zelda takes place in for if you were someone with such HIGH standard, you would have a lot of enemies & needed to watch who you kept close to you... Now without Zelda's mother's ability, the Sheikah were at a standstill. Their Clan was already split into two: The Sheikah and The Yiga Clan from their technology being thrown away because the Royal Family feared of them overthrowing them, so without their greatest inventions of this time era, they needed something that could assist Zelda while she searched for that THING to help unlock her power...which leads me to the Zonai. It's clear the Zonai were around before and during The Great Calamity, but not after..or so it's said. I believe that the Sheikah, without telling the King Rhoam or Zelda of their plan, went to the Ancient Tribe and realized they had the same idea of getting rid of Ganondorf once and for all to stop the endless cycle of this curse. Now, I can't fully say WHAT the labyrinths were for. Maybe a test for Link, but they feared others would go near it and enter themselves? (Which I think might have been possible because if you interact with anyone who notices the Sheikah Slate on Link's hip after awaking, they always say something along the lines of "That's A Sheikah Slate" And never really "THE Sheikah Slate". If there was only ONE in existence, wouldn't they say THE instead of A? Idk) Maybe they just wanted to keep outsiders out & insured that with a long & complicated maze? Or maybe they were doing their Ancient Art Magic in each area to see if it were a good place to hold the King of The Desert? ( and yes, I know, from one of Link's memories that Zelda tried to enter, but didn't have access. Could it possible that the shrines were only made for Link? Or maybe that particular Sheikah Slate is like the Master Sword and only responds to him because it only has one task: assisting the hero.) Regardless of what the labyrinths were for, it's clear that the Sheikah have left their mark on these ancient artifacts and knew of more knowledge on this tribe than anyone else.Now remember, the Zonai worshiped the Water Dragon, AKA Farosh 🐉 so they were clearly those who trusted somewhat in The Golden Goddesses...maybe. ∆∇∆ Now onto my second point. They mysteriously disappeared without a trace, which is strange considering they were clearly in a LOT of areas of Hyrule. From the sandy beaches in Lurelin to the hot desert all the way to the colder regions of the Hebra..it was clear their tribe might have been bigger than most expected....either that or they were just really sneaky. I like to say that their "mysterious death" was really a noble sacrifice. Remember that if this is true, it isn't the first time someone else, other than Zelda and Link, stepped in and tried to stop the Demon King. In Twilight Princess, the ones know as the Six Sages also took matters into their own hands & attempted to stop Ganondorf by stabbing him in the chest with The Sword of The Six Sages... But they failed miserably, even thinking that the gods were playing a cruel joke when seeing Ganondorf had The Triforce of Power on his left hand, leading to the king breaking free & killing one of the six Sages before they used The Mirror of Twilight to send him away and think of their actions. Which...if were being honest...the goddesses have some things messed up about them, but that's a different rant for another time. Now I say they had a noble sacrifice because one of things we see in the short cutscene of BOTW 2 is the famous Lumious Stone that can found just about everywhere in Hyrule, but specifically underground there's A LOT OF IT. And if we read the description of the material, it's clear that some of Hyrule like to theorize it glows so bright because their are souls trapped inside. Now, clearly, there's a LOT of lumious stone in this one area, and if my theory is right tat the Zonai were one of the people who used their ancient magic to try and seal away Ganondorf, I feel it would have taken A GREAT AMOUNT of magic to do so considering we know how strong not only Ganondorf is, but the Triforce of Power. Hell..it stopped him from dying by a goddess forged weapon! YOU TELLIN ME THAT AINT STRONG!? I believe that possible not only the Zonai, but some of the Sheikah Clan, died doing a noble cause of holding Ganondorf back, or at least his body, to keep him from a new reincarnation. Alright...I know this is a lot. Take a breather. Get some snacks and a drink because here's POINT 3: This caught everyone's attention. The Hand. Off the back, we can tell this clearly Ganondorf's newly found prison & a terrible and dark one at that. I mean, cmon, I personally wouldn't want to be mummified and have my heart grabbed at by a hand, but that's just me Now from this hand we can tell it's the same color as the ones that reside around Lumious Stone, The Fallen Champions, & The Monks when taking their Spirit Orbs to give to the Hylia Statues when exchanging it during prayer...kinda like Link is the key to setting their soul free for doing their deed for Hylia. I believe a lot of spirits were brought together in sealing away Ganondorf....a lot of ANGRY spirits, but as we see in BOTW 2 cutscenes that it's clear the hand not only moved itself (or the spirits moved themselves) to help Link and Zelda when they almost fell to their doom. And, even though this is a different game, I make the comparison of a lot of souls in ONE BODY to Noob Cybot from Mortal Kombat. Even though he appears as one person, there are lot of souls stood inside of him and one of his quotes are "We are many. You are one". The power of the hand, now given to Link, could be the spirits last attempt at helping Link and Zelda seal away Ganondorf considering it seems The Master Sword isn't as strong as it use to be ten to thousands of years ago. But in doing so, they released the seal that held Ganondorf captive for those past 100-10,000 years. I'm sure the only freedom Ganondorf had was The Malice that leaves his body (which is just a mixture of rage and hate..and honestly I'd be mad too if my only escape was a spirit form of myself) and his mind, if it wasn't already gone by then. Because of the seal now being broken, our beautiful demon king was up from his long nap 😅 I mean...cmon now...theorized to be bad or not, Ganondorf is FIIIIINNNNEEEE 😍 and I would give myself to him, but we're not here for my girly fantasies. And now was prepared to release havoc on Hyrule once more. Now, I say that this was a attempted by the Zonai and Sheikah to hold Ganondorf back because even though it's clear Ganondorf can still attack in spirit forms and smaller, puppet forms, as we see with the BLIGHTS, Ganondorf can't reincarnate if the DOESN'T HAVE A BODY FOR IT. Clearly when Ganondorf dies in his physical, Gerudo form, it takes Eons later for him to reform and be born into the world again, but...his body was still under Hyrule....and it could be possible, just like the Monks, that he was still alive, but had no ability to move, leading him to release so much hate in the world that it created Blights and Calamity Ganon, along with Dark Beast Ganon And now with that seal gone and nothing holding him back, the Demon King was Awaken once more, but...my final question is...how did he get down there in the first place? ∆∇∆ I'll try making this last part short considering this was longer than I expected. Also, no more pictures passed this point. I've already reached the MAX if you couldn't tell 😅 Now this is my own thought. I believe someone in the Sheikah Clan who served the Royal Family set Ganondorf up. I say this because I can't think of any other reason why Ganondorf would be hiding below the castle and not strike. There's also my thought that Ganondorf was either led there or possible kidnapped and brought to the sacrificial grounds below Hyrule castle. And I know some might say: "Ganondorf...kidnapped? That's impossible" But we have no clue HOW STRONG the Zonai's magic really was. Even in Twilight Princess, those who wielded a very strong and ancient magic had power great enough to take over Hyrule for their terrible desires, leading them to living in the Twilight Realm, so it's not as if it's not possible that this power was equally as great, but used for a different cause. Whose to say the similar green color of the Twilight Magic isn't being used once again, but this time for good and not selfish greed for the power of the Triforce? I believe that if Ganondorf was led to this area, he was clearly betrayed. Now, in many incidents  in past time eras, Ganondorf has been betrayed by many and his power was turned against him, which I hate, but this isn't about my personal feelings on the king. I have TWO ideas of how it could have happened: Say if the "spy" for Ganondorf was actually working for the Royal Family and tricked him to believe that they were getting as much intel as possible to keep from him being killed by Zelda and Link. What if the spy had been discovered by a fellow Sheikah member and eliminated them to keep things as they should have been? What if they gained so much of Ganondorf trust to the point where he thought they were a ally that they gave him the idea of going under Hyrule Castle, hiding for a certain period of time and was ambushed by the power of the Zonai and The Sheikah Clan? The other idea is that someone was ONCE loyal to the Royal Family, but betrayed them and went to Ganondorf instead. I think this is possible because it's clear the Royal Family has dumped the Sheikah Clan many times and doesn't trust them fully (which is understandable in that day in age, but still) and a few banded together to betray the Royal Family. Telling Ganondorf of the technology they created and how they were planning on using it against him, leading to him creating the Blights and attacking all 4 divine beast and the champions, but they were figured out, forced to reveal where Ganondorf was hiding OR someone followed them and found out the truth and set them up under the castle, but maybe not all, and this birthed The Yiga Clan in secret. It could have been possible that Master Kohga could have been there as well, or heard information of it, considering the Sheikah can live up to 100 years plus as we see with Impa, Robbie and Purah, along with the monks, but idk if it was Master Kohga in particular considering how goofy he is, but some like to theorize that he's a descendent of Zant because he mentions something of his great great grandfather's magic that was once sealed away was taught to him. Not to mention, they have similar personalities and fighting styles. So it could be possible...that the power of the Twili tried so hard to get rid of ten to thousands of years ago...still lives on, but now, used for good instead of evil by the Zonai. I could go on and on about this, but I clearly need more information on the whole thing. That and this is getting way too long. These are just my theories of what may be in the story line of BOTW 2. I hope you fairies liked this one ���‍♀️ PS: if you didn't notice, the same symbol that's on the walls in the cutscene of the SWIRL that can found on other works of the Zonai are the SAME as the symbol of Lurelin. This is what I meant when I said that it's possible that their people are still alive, but either the people of Lurelin don't know of their history considering most of their tribe died or was lost OR they know, hold some power, but keep it secret from outsiders of the village and disguise themselves as "noble fishermen" . I also think it's strange that Lurelin wasn't effected by the Calamity considering it was BEHIND that great defense wall where Zelda awakens her power & Link nearly dies. I say it's strange because I feel like Lurelins people & the Zonai have a very strong connection, but that's just a theory. A GAME THEORY ‼️

1, 4, 12, 17, 20, 25 (xxx being New Girl and Brooklyn 99!)

Thank you for asking, friend! :)

(Note: I’m also using himym in these because even though I don’t post about it on this blog, it’s one of my fav shows of all time and i have a LOT of salt about it. xx)

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

ted/robin from himym. i don’t understand how you could honestly watch past season 1 and still want them to end up together and i will never understand why the writers did that. like character development is important people!!!

and it’s not that i don’t “get” schmidt/cece from new girl, bc i do, but i wish the s3 cheating stuff didn’t happen because that makes it hard to ship.

and for b99 i gotta say i don’t really get rosa/pimento even though i like each of them and i like their interactions. they just don’t seem right for each other.

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

ted/robin for sure is my most hated NoTP. i guess they are popular, but i will never get it.

and for sure with new girl jess/robby and nick/reagan but i don’t think anyone really ships those...

i don’t think i really have a b99 NoTP?

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

i honestly don’t mind the original reagan arc in new girl. i think it just went on way longer than it needed to and became ridiculous. i liked the initial jury duty part of it and getting nick to have some of those realizations, but then they dragged it on and made nick dumb!nick and it crumbles. but i was excited for MF to be on it in the beginning of s5.

in himym idk if it counts as an arc, but i like that the reason ted’s telling the story is because the mother died. i understand nothing else about the way they ended this show, but i like that part and i know a lot of people don’t.

are there unpopular arcs in b99? i mean i trust the writers implicitly and disagree with anyone who thinks they have ever made a mistake. i feel it’s been a flawless first 4 seasons.

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

oh boy i have SO MANY OPINIONS ON THIS.

how i met your mother just needed to end like maybe 15 minutes before the end. barney and robin end up together and ted gets the fuck over it because that’s what the whole fucking show was supposed to be about. and barney doesn’t end up back as a womanizing jackass because, again, character development was so well done in this, but they ruined it in the end.

i have so many for new girl. mainly in s6. the entirety of the reagan and robby plots can basically gtfo. basically we only need reagan to get nick the book signing and then nick has to realize (without all the filler nonsense and being dumb!nick) that he’s in love with jess and then the nick/jess kiss that ends the season would be earlier and we would have ended s6 with a proposal instead of a 30 second kiss. (and a bunch of others but i’ll keep it at that for now).

himym instead of the last like 15 minutes happening, i would have just left that part out.

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

(this one doesn’t really fit with salt, but i’ll take it).

b99: jake and amy are perfect and pure

himym: lily and marshall obviously

and new girl... idk if it has a “purest” ship. (don’t come for me! i just don’t even think nick/jess are a pure ship and certainly no one else falls into that category either)

25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

new girl needs to end with nick and jess’s newborn baby girl being the NEW girl or i’ll cry.

b99 needs to never end so... ?

but at least it has to end with jake and amy being happy and together and safe (not one of them in witsec or jail or undercover or... anything else). and the nine nine goes off to all diff things and reaches all their goals, but they all stay family and vacation together or something. idk i’m not a writer lol

season three episode five

How much allegiance does your hairdresser owe you? Most people form a pretty tight bond with the person cutting their hair. Not only do you entrust your hairdresser with your appearance and whatever gossip you share while getting your head massaged – you also trust them not to murder you even though they could easily slit your throat with scissors!! I know you’re pondering that ethical dilemma, but dropetté because it’s time to cut to the feeling!

 Okay, we’re starting off with Amanda and Chloe at the beach, discussing Cara’s freakoutté in the last episode, which is great because I want to rewind and delve further into it. The more I watch it, the less it makes sense. Why would the producers intervene? They barely stepped in when Juliette started hitting Chloe and Amanda – why whisk Cara away just for yelling that no one graduated high school for the fortieth time? Well, I hope you’re a fan of conspiracy theories because have I got one for you. I believe that the producers instructed Alex to push a fabricated storyline involving Cara cheating on G Baby. I’m guessing that they figured Cara would either go along with it, or that she’d get angry, (because that’s her job…) but what they didn’t predict was that Cara had reached her breaking point. Instead of screaming at Alex, (which is what they tried to play this off as,) I think she was screaming at the producers about the utter fakeness of the show. She was tired of constantly being painted as the villain. Which is why they ultimately removed her from the boat. It would also explain the choppy editing and the fact that she dropped out of the show. Thoughts? Opinions? I don’t care, I’m right. Let’s move on.

Finally, the moment I’ve been waiting for – ALYSSA’S SIESTA KEY DEBUT! Who is Alyssa, you ask? LET ME EXPLAIN. Alyssa is Alex’s long-time family friend and current baby mama! She is also Juliette’s former friend from FSU and – you guessed it – HAIRDRESSER. Hairdresser! Has she no decency!? If you’re a friend, feel free to date my ex, but if you’re my hairdresser?! Dream on, bitch! I swear to God, the day Savannah (my hairdresser) starts dating my ex?! Utter chaos! Sadly, Juliette was warned that her hairdresser was a sneaky brownnoser with a hidden agenda. In last season, we witnessed a Chloe and Juliette blowuppé caused by Juliette’s pesky hairdresser! Her OWN HAIRDRESSER told Chloe she was talking shit. While that would be more than enough for me to say goodbye, Juliette kind of has this pattern of ignoring people’s many glaring red flags, idk if you’ve noticed it though, it’s something not many people know about her.

 Anyways, this is a betrayal worse than JC and Brutus, worse than JC and Judas, and dare I say – even worse than that time in Stephanie Meyer’s third American novel in the Twilight Series – Eclipse, when Bella, desperate to stop Jacob from fighting in werewolf form against the savage newborn vampire army Victoria and her new lover Riley had created, kisses Jacob in what she claims is an attempt to get him to stay with her in the safety of the tent, but what we know is an act of love and a direct betrayal of Vampire Edward. It hurts to even think about it. And right after they got engaged? Bella, you can be so heartless. But is this funny because we find out later that even though Alex may find Alyssa to be hotter than Juliette, he literally doesn’t like her. Ouch!

Wait – he doesn’t like her? I thought she was with child – his child! Well, you’re right, she is carrying a small Shrek Alex inside of her uterus, but I guess having someone’s child doesn’t actually force them to like you. Who knew? Would have saved me a lot of grief to have that intel, let me tell you. LOL!! Anyways, we know he doesn’t like Alyssa because he told Juliette to her face that he doesn’t like Alyssa. After Juliette and Boring Robby: The Liar have yet another unsuccessful (and boring) conversation about Alex, Juliette ignores his wishes and goes to see Alex for the first time since the breakuppé anyways. But before we discuss their conversation, I need to get something off my chest. I get a distinctly strange Fatherly vibe from Boring Robby when he and Juliette talk, and it’s so unsettling. Maybe it’s the never-ending rip off of Confucius quotes that spill out of his mouth hole uncontrollably? Seriously, Boring Robby’s only talent (besides stealing) is word vomiting random phrases that don’t pertain to the topic of conversation whatsoever. I mean, “That’s like sitting in the driver’s seat, moving forward, while watching the rearview mirror.” Intern, get this philosopher a quill, some ink, and a Pulitzer Prize…STAT!

Juliette and Alex’s talk goes just about as well as it could possibly go. (It goes horribly.) Luckily, we got some genuine dynamite quotes from the exchange. I was geeking watching this because Juliette has this wonderful habit of exercising exactly zero willpower when it comes to Alex, so we truly get a look inside her brain during this convo. Like she literally can’t control what she says. Maybe that’s why she’s dating Boring Robby. He can’t stop quoting Seventeen Magazine, and Juliette can’t stop herself from screaming “You haven’t found a girl that’s hotter than me” at her ex. It’s one and the same. When Alex and Juliette sit down to talk, it gets heated pretty quickly. Alex admits that he’s not over Juliette, and even though he has “found a girl (or ten) hotter than [Juliette]”, he “hasn’t found a girl [he] likes more than [Juliette].” Juliette brings up Alex’s threating texts to Boring Robby, there are tears from both parties, and Juliette drives off. It’s like, I get why you wanted to, but really Juliette – how did you think this would go?

Okay so let’s take a break from all of this Jalex drama. As much as I love it – wow it’s exhausting! Cut to: BG and Amanda getting steamy in the hot tub! Unfortunately for Brandon, the only thing he’s getting is a steaming pile of rejection. When BG asks Amanda to be official, presumably because he’s worried about her ex, she tells him she doesn’t want to put a label on it. Cringe! Meanwhile, Kelsey and her new friend Jake seem to be getting close, and no – I didn’t mean to type “Jared.” That’s right, Kelsey is up to her usual antics and starting to date multiple guys at once again, finally! As Jake, who is also Robby’s best friend, tearfully confides in Kelsey about his sick father, Kelsey reassuringly responds, “Clearly you have a good shoulder on your head. Your Dad has raised you right.” Normally I would crucify her for this blunder, but she’s been so great this season that I’ll let it slide. Kind of.

 This is me not letting it slide.

Time for Amanda’s party! The first fun thing that happens is that Chloe and Juliette finally makeup, thank GOD because I like both of them infinitely more when they’re friends. The second fun thing is that even though noble Juliette leaves Boring Robby at home out of respect for Alex, Alex walks in holding her – gasp – HAIRDRESSER’S hand. Mike drop, Alex! Jake, Kelsey’s new love interest and Robby’s BFF, makes a sly comment about Alex which TOTALLY comes back to bite him in the ass when none other than shit-stirrer Chloe decides to blow up his spot – but we’ll get to that later. For now, Juliette’s just trying to keep her cool. Respect!

Juliette has been keeping it under control until Amanda confronts her about the lost phone. As we know, Amanda suspects Robby of stealing her phone. And based on Juliette’s face, he is guilty as charged. Juliette breaks down and tells Amanda that Boring Robby threw her phone in the ocean. Surprisingly, Amanda is really nice to Juliette about it, so major props! I think Amanda knows Juliette didn’t have anything to do with the phone and is probably very overwhelmed since she’s being filmed while her ex-boyfriend and ex-hairdresser are making out in front of her face while she’s trying to repair relationships with her best friends. So good for Amanda. Now that Juliette has her friends back, she’s ready for anything. Well, almost anything.

The party’s going too well, so Chloe decides to stir the pot and tell Alex that Jake called him a “sociopath” as Jake is sitting right next to him. Alex immediately dares him to define the word sociopath. This is particularly hilarious because just last week, Alex asked Cara to define the word slander. Why is his go-to insult asking people if they know the Merriam Webster definition of various words? Like next thing you know, you’re going to be asking me how to spell it and use it in a sentence. This isn’t Scripps. Anyways, before Jake can even try to define it, Alex steps in and defines sociopath as “Someone that obsesses over multiple things, that is um…very uh…self-centered, I guess you could say.” SO close, buddy! But no cigar. He truly puts the dick in dictionary, am I right?! His new girlfriend also channels his dick vibe and waltzes up to Juliette to “talk.” I love when people decide to “talk” to Juliette when she’s wasted and vulnerable. Leave Juliette alone! Luckily, Alyssa ends up looking like a complete idiot. She’s condescending, rude, and acts like Juliette has no reason to be thrown off. Even when Alex comes up, Juliette stands her ground and remains fairly level-headed. Alyssa walks away to let the two hash it out, but then proceeds to scream from across the room for Alex to come stand next to her, and admits defeat by confiding in her friends that “he still loves Juliette.” Stay in your lane, sweetie. You’re just a rebound. (Until you get knocked up…but we don’t know that yet.) See you next week.  

Books Read, Age 26

Previously: 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18 (holy shit)

Enigma Variations–Aciman I talked to Robbie about this one a bunch bc he’s always looking for good novels about gay people by gay people and I thought this might be that but this is…not that. It had promise and the first section is really kind of lovely but it veers off and just…I don’t know, mileage will vary, but it didn’t feel True to me. idk idk either like he misunderstands love and sexuality or I do and it honestly could more than likely be me.

A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy–Adams One of those books I had just always kinda pretended I read. I mean not that people like frequently check to make sure I’ve read AHGttG but just like in my mind whenever it was mentioned I checked it off. You know the dealio you don’t need my thoughts on it (as opposed to most things, on which you definitely do).

All Grown Up–Attenberg My favorite of the Attenberg novels I’ve read. Of particular use and relevance to me, an aging single woman and unlikeable protagonist. I enjoyed this very much, it was sharp and warm and mean and tender.

Queen of the Night–Chee Hmm. Ok. I felt for most of this book that it like…thought it was a different, more important book than it actually was? It is overwritten–both in prose style and in that it could have been at least 100 pages shorter–and you know how sometimes you read a book with a female protagonist and you’re like ‘I can’t believe a man wrote this!’? Yeah this isn’t that. But the ending line is really good? idk. Someone else read it and tell me your thoughts.

Too Much and Not the Mood–Chew-Bose First of all, excellent title. These essays reminded me, and I mean in this in the lease self-important way possible, of my own writing. Just in that way where writing doesn’t have to be traditionally literarily linear. These essays are good and filled with the kind of sentences that make you know the writer loves words, you can feel her placing them carefully with the satisfying click of scrabble tiles, sliding them into the right order.

Who Killed Roger Ackroyd–Christie Typical Agatha novel and very good. I can’t tell you any more without spoiling it.

Murder in Retrospect–Christie This is one of my fave Christie’s. It was dark and smart and pithy.

Rule Britannia–Du Maurier I found this in a used bookstore in Portland, Maine, just after the Brexit vote. She wrote it in like the 70s and it’s speculative fiction based on if the UK left the EU and formed a union with the United States. It’s kind of really good but it also ends kind of abruptly, like maybe it could have been the first of a trilogy or something.

Plum Bun–Fauset This was my favorite book from my Harlem Renaissance class. I wrote my term paper on it. I love this book. I want to write it as a screenplay and someone to make it into a movie and I want Troian Bellesario to play the lead.

A Coney Island of the Mind–Ferlinghetti A book of (I think?) beat poetry that I found in a used bookstore in Saugherties at Thanksgiving. I love these poems, especially one called “The World is a Beautiful Place” which I read out loud to Robbie one night while we were walking between bars in the snow at like midnight.

Wishful Drinking–Fisher Carrie Fisher is one of those people whose very existence makes me feel braver and weirder and funnier. She’s a truly good soul and I don’t have anything else to say except that you should read this and also that you should Postcards From the Edge first it’s better.

Difficult Women–Gay I prefer Roxane Gay’s fiction to her nonfiction and these are very good, very interesting stories full of sadness and love.

The Autobiography of Malcolm X (as told to Alex Haley) I have never had so many people approach me while reading a book in public as this one. It is, unsurprisingly, an extremely compelling and upsetting book. But I was very surprised by it. I’m not sure quite what I expected from it, but it wasn’t what it was. I think about this book at least twice a week. I think everyone should read it and I think they’ll all enjoy it.

How To Be  A Person In the World–Havrilesky I think maybe Ask Polly columns are better in smaller doses than a whole book, but nevertheless, for better or for worse, she shaped a great deal of my early-twenties self esteem and the essays translate to the page much better than a lot of internet writing I’ve read. 

Girl on the Train–Hawkins This felt…cheap somehow. Like I got really into it and then felt like I’d been cheated or fooled because it’s truly not very good.

Bright Lines–Islam This is a fascinating book. It’s the most Brooklyn summery, felt the most like my Brooklyn summers despite describing a Bengali Muslim family and smoking weed and other experiences that are not specifically mine. I’d recommend it. Highly.

Intimations–Kleeman Man, I’ve recommended this book of short stories to so many people. It’s weird and interesting and it does something I think is hard, which is write surreal stories where the stakes still feel real, if that makes sense. She came and spoke to our class and she told an interesting question to ask of short stories which was, “what are the satisfactions of this story?” and all of these are satisfying and visceral. There’s one long one in the middle that I skipped and you can too, I give you permission.

A Swiftly Tilting Planet–L'Engle Hey, um, you know what’s p upsetting to read? A plot where a crazy dictator is gonna drop a nuclear bomb and start the end of the world (this isn’t a spoiler it’s introduced like five pages in). 

A Wind in the Door–L'Engle This was not as good as A Wrinkle in Time–what is–but it was a bright easy read, her books are so–loving, I guess. Good if you need a little palate cleanser.

Passing–Larsen We read a LOT of books in my Harlem Renaissance course. This a very good, short novel about, well, guess. It’s like a painting somehow, like a 20th century painting.

Sister Outsider–Lorde  I have taken none women’s studies courses so this was a pretty important text I had never read. It is very Good and everyone should read it if they have not already.

Cruel Shoes–Martin I LOVE Steve Martin and still on a few of these I was like “I don’t know, Steve.” But many others (they’re very short stories) are funny or clever or great.

Bright Lights, Big City–McInerney ughhhhhhh a book that is entirely written in second person and is about how womens’ existences and deaths have like ~made a man feel~ but it’s a short quick read and–I am E X T R E M E L Y reluctant to admit–the end is a really good image that did lowkey make me cry but also fuck this book

The Hopeful–O'Neill This I didn’t like much, in a way that I thought it needed a stronger editor and I want Eleanor or Robbie or someone I trust to read it to tell me if I’m wrong.

The Bed Moved–Schiff Weird and good little stories. I don’t think about them often, but they were elegant and sharp as I read them.

Eligible–Sittenfield It’s nice that they’re publishing Modern AU Pride and Prejudice fanfic now in a bound book. This was enjoyable tho tbh not the best Modern AU Pride and Prejudice fanfic I, a cool and chill person, have read in my life.

Swing Time–Smith I think this is my fave of the Zadie Smith books I’ve read. I wasn’t sure by the end quite what the point of it was, but I guess also what’s the point of anything? idk this is a useless description of a book. It was immersive and interesting but I’ve also not told anyone “you *have* to read this you’ll love it.” We did go see her read from it and in person she is enchanting.

The New Woman–Sochen Nonfiction about what I think we’d call first-wave feminism? It was really fascinating about an era I knew nothing about but also had some, um, glaring omissions ahem any mention of race whatsoever.

Action. A Book About Sex–Spiegel Ok look yes fine I am an adult sexually active woman who still reads books about sex whatEVER. I missed sex-ed and I also like to hear, in a non-prurient (or sometimes prurient w/e) way what other people are up to, sex-wise. I mean there’s no real like advice about sex in the world, I think, except that everything consensual and fun is fine, but I think it’s important to occasionally remind yourself of that. This was a good book.

Missing, Presumed–Steiner A crime book that I neither loved nor hated and generally enjoyed reading. Big enh.

The Girls From Corona Del Mar–Thorpe Robbie gave this to me for my birthday last year. A beach read with an edge, page-turner-y but sharp. Seems like it’s going to be a light read, but there’s a bite to it, a reminder of the cruel randomness of fate and of our inability to really know other people or ourselves. I loved this.

Cane–Toomer So this is an important text from the Harlem Renaissance and it’s kinda…never classified? It’s a series of related but not continuous short stories, as well as poetry, and little like plays? idk it’s very evocative and beautiful and dense and bears up to intense overreading. One of my favorite books I read for my Harlem Ren class.

The Blacker the Berry–Thurman Ok so Wallace Thurman apparently worried his whole life that his writing style was too journalistic and he maybe wasn’t…wrong. This is NOT a bad book and it’s well written and novelistic exCEPT when sometimes it feels pedagogical or expository. It’s a short, well constructed novel about colorism and worth checking out.

Killer–Walters Lovely and weird poems. I went to go follow the author on Twitter and discovered I already was. I love these.

The Underground Railroad–Whitehead An extremely. upsetting. book. Here’s the thing and I understand the presumption of my criticism of a book that won the national book award, but: if you’re going to make your conceit that the Underground Railroad is a real railroad, I think that you should do more with it. THAT SAID the rest of this is truly wonderful, somehow at once a page turner and viscerally upsetting.

Kiss Me Like a Stranger–Wilder I love Gene Wilder. I’d read Gilda Radnor’s memoir a couple years ago so part of this was sort of an interesting other side of the story. Anyways he seems like a genuinely strange, slightly neurotic, flawed but mostly warm and kind person.

May 7, 2017

The scabs are nearly gone, from where I picked at my face after I found out.  My fingers are another story, but they’re the older stress reaction.  And once you start picking, the cuticles just keep on peeling until they have to rebuild from scratch.   Sounds like a metaphor for how it feels getting over you, but I suck at writing flowery language.  At least, I think I do.  I just feel so gross. I wish I had talked to you more recently.  I wish I had known.  I wish I could have told you that it will get better. That I couldn’t even believe how much it gets better, but it does, once you get out of high school. Once you get away from your parents.  Admittedly, my parents hardly need getting away from.  Not like yours.  I felt so angry when the pastor told your mom she did an amazing job raising you.  As if the crummy, laptop smashing boyfriends and the forcing you to go to church and the locking you up were only good things.  Of course, I have no idea how much of that was real.  I don’t want to doubt you, but I didn’t even know you were suicidal.  So maybe the mental ward was for your depression, instead of not wanting to go to church.  I’d ask Krissa, but I’m afraid of coming off like an asshole.  She’s been so nice, but I don’t really know her.  You’re our only real link.  She wants me to keep in touch, but we’ve never really talked.  So I have no idea what to talk about except you.  Not to mention our worlds are so different.  She has kids, and a husband, and I don’t know anything about that.  I’ve always been terrible at talking to adults.  Well. Adultier adults.

I’m afraid people are gonna walk by and see what I’m writing.  I feel so ashamed embarrassed about grieving, or figuring out ways to grieve.  I don’t want to make them uncomfortable.  It’s some heavy shit you pulled.  Even if they don’t know you, it’s some heavy shit, and I don’t want to darken their day with it.  But I really need to talk to someone.  I suppose that’s what therapy’s for.  But I almost feel like I can’t wait.  But I’m struggling so much to explain how much I’m struggling and also to not burden people with it. I can’t lie and say I’m fine, but I feel so bad saying I’m not, and explaining how I’m not.  I know they’re my friends, and theoretically they want to know how I am, but I don’t know.  It still feels wrong.  I haven’t even told my parents yet.  I’m afraid Mom will worry about Robbie.  You were his age. And I know he’s doing better than he was, but I’m so afraid he’ll do the same shit and I’ll be part of the blame.  I tried to tell him I don’t hate him.  But I don’t know if he believed me.

I really wonder if I should get my perscription raised.  I’m worried that I’m slipping back into my old depression.  I can already feel the self doubt starting, and the like... black cloud over my heart.  Everything is just so tiring, but I still gotta pass my classes.  It sounds awful even thinking it, but I wish you had picked a better time to die.  I desperately wish you hadn’t done it at all, but I also wish it wasn’t finals.  I’d love to get through this with only 3 Bs.  But the temptation to just not take the Thermo final and get a B is very high.  I can always bounce back next semester?

Arty can go suck my ass.  I can’t believe how much the PaxCraft gang is letting me down. Letting you down.  Then again, I doubt you were thinking about how Billy would react when you shot yourself.  But I can’t believe him.  And the fact that the bot added me to send the virus, and then he re-deleted me! He’s such a prick.  I can’t believe I ever saw anything in him.  He’s just a deadbeat history major.  Him and his terrible beard will go nowhere in life. And it kills me he’ll probably be happy with that.  And that he’ll probably find a nice girl like him and they’ll be happy.  I want to say he doesn’t deserve that.  I really do.  But I know he does, because he’s not that awful.  I also want to say that he should... no, I can’t even say it without feeling bad.  But you could have done so much! I firmly believe you could have written a great novel some day.  You could have gotten accepted to a good school.  You could have come and stayed at my apartment and we could have hung out.  Hell, we could have had Marcus come down and have all palled around together.  It would have been great.  But seriously, fuck Arty.  After all he meant to you, he should have been at the service.  He should have fucking cared. Billy should have, also.  I know that one probably wasn’t out of malice, but I can’t help but hate that, “I didn’t know he was depressed.”  None of us did. Or at least, none of us knew it was that bad for you.  I think I remember you mentioning being on meds, but idk.  It’s been a while.  God, you didn’t even get halfway through high school.  You were so close.  You were almost out.

I also hate that that fucker still keeps acting like Mr. Welldone is his.  And I hate even more that I doubt that you were the one who actually wrote it.  I trusted you implicitly (for the most part) when you were alive.  But now that you’re gone, idk.... Part of me wonders who is really the one who’s lying about it for Internet Points.  I do think you wrote that first part, though.  It totally sounds like you.  From what I remember from the stories and things you would send me.  You had such a way with words, I still can’t believe how mature you were.  I still wanna believe someone like, killed you, instead of you killing yourself.  I wanna believe there’s some grand conspiracy.  It makes it easier to stomach, I think.

I think I should go now.  It’s late, and I need to sleep so I can haul ass on dynamics tomorrow with Rhys.  God bless Rhys for being such a bro, through all of this.  And just in general.  Enough sappy shit for now, though this is definitely not the last of this.  One diary post isn’t gonna fix this.  I really want to find better words for all of those ‘this’s, but I don’t really want to fucking proofread this either.  Just gotta dump and run.  Anyway.  Love ya, man.  I’ll be back

- Scratch

Ep. 7 - “"I Love Lies and Deceit" - Isaac”

LOGAN

IF I DONT WIN IMMUNITY IM GOING HOME KNOW THAT THATS ALL HELP PLEASE I CANT GO HOME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

OWEN

Well well well!!! Ryan B went home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Surprise surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~) I threw a vote on Scott just in case Ryan, who did absolutely no campaigning whatsoever, had an idol or something from the labyr*nth. But he didn't and he's dead so! Fun!!!!!!!!! Anyways... I want to win individual immunity kind of, although I think I have a good case to get Jay out of here. Still, I don't know what Duncan will think of me if Jay DOES get shipped off, and it might be better for me if Scott goes because I've never talked to Scott and there's no relationship there? With Trevor and I on the same tribe there's always the worry someone will want to split us up but I don't see how that benefits anyone really because we'll just be a target at merge. We're like an extra fat meat shield :) use us :))))))))) anyways, none of my alliance wants to win immunity because the challenge is an unnecessarily difficult version. It worries me that we all feel cocky enough to...not try lmao afsdkhdfsjfds which makes me want to try but at the same time??? I don't want to do that it's finals week and it's too much. I just want to merge so I can fuck everyone up

LOGAN

also everyone in this game? likes me as a person? but i think ERRYONE knows im a threat and im in the bottom so i need to win. that is all. love rob. ill die for rob. 

JD

Yeah, this challenge is going to be bad... I'm much sorry

-

Jesus fuck. That sucked... I hope i never have to do anything like that again. 4 hours of my life i wont be getting back *sigh* but i saved that cute little rock from the underworld, yes i did.... I think I'll name him... He- hey! My rock just does back to the underworld... Well there goes that. *Le shrug* (sleepy Jessy is sleepy)

SCOTT

I am shocked I survived the vote. But I am confident I will most likely be voted out at the next tribal, and since the challenge is basically computer slavery. I am screwed. WELP *Prays for the merge* 

LOGAN

woooo, my death is happening!

-

IN THE GAME I MEAN IN THE GAME I PROMISEHTBDFGJNSDKMZ

TREVOR

Sam chose me to go to the labyrinth. A good ally. Maybe I will take him to the end. 

-

We're voting for Jay. I kind of insisted it without discussing it which is bad but I wasn't in the mood. 

It's either gonna tie with Scott or be 4-3-1 as I'm gonna try and get Scott to vote for Owen if he comes online. If it does tie we will vote Jay on the revote so it's fine. I have Lydia's 20% challenge advantage because I'm not allowed to give it back to her. Oh well. I'm sure we're swapping or merging after this.

SAM

https://youtu.be/ZNx-K60v4BU

ROB

Literally the only person who I did not to win. Fuck I think I couldve done it. Lazy ass. I'm definitely in danger once more. 

SAM

MORE CONFESSIONS yeah i'm pretty nervous about tribal tonight. i'm afraid that one of the newbies is going to get voted out, so i might have to appeal to duncan that the newbies are on his side. or that i can get them to be on his side because i think they might be down to vote for him. they're concerned with mending fences and they believe that duncan might not help them but LIKE LOOK DUNCAN WILL PLAY WITH ME AT MERGE AND MATT SUMMERS ISN'T CALLED MATT FUCKING SUMMERS FOR NOT REASON so i'll have to check in on everyone later today and make sure their heads are in the right spot. that's all. at least it isn't me.

SCOTT

This song goes to my tribe if they vote me out (Verse) Wrap it up, I said I don't have time I guess you're outta luck, but I'm doin' fine Give it up, you don't wanna act like you care And I don't want a house full of her hair (Pre-Chorus) (And you said) Literally, babe Are ya gonna give up so easily? I thought I meant more I thought you was stronger... (And you said) Literally, babe I've been stressing about us all day, well Guess you bit off more than you can chew I've got li-te-ra-lly nothing to say to you (Chorus) You wanna play me till I kick you out You wanna call me when you're feeling down Beggin' on your knees, BITCH PLEASE! And when I finally let you bring me close You wanna promise me you'll never go Then you wanna leave, BITCH PLEASE! (Interlude) Don't text me, you're pathetic, BITCH PLEASE! This is the only way you'll hear from me, HA! Don't text me, you're pathetic, BITCH PLEASE! This is the only way you'll hear from me, HA! (Verse 2) Listen up, you don't get a goodbye You don't get another shot to make me everything I'm not I'm a girl on fire, I'm a girl who dreams And you're a boy who needs to stay the hell away from me (Pre-Chorus) (And you said) Literally, babe Are ya gonna give up so easily? I thought I meant more I thought you was stronger... (And you said) Literally, babe I've been stressing about us all day, well Guess you bit off more than you can chew I've got li-te-ra-lly nothing to say to you (Chorus) You wanna play me till I kick you out You wanna call me when you're feeling down Beggin' on your knees, BITCH PLEASE! And when I finally let you bring me close You wanna promise me you'll never go Then you wanna leave, BITCH PLEASE! (Bridge) And it hit me like a ton of bricks Like a ton of your ugly hats When I was broken, when I was lonely When I was reachin' out for your hand That the sun could go down My shadow and taunts, there's no-one around, I swear We're as lonely as with you there (He's not gonna get that...) (Whatever!) (Chorus) You wanna play me till I kick you out You wanna call me when you're feeling down Beggin' on your knees, BITCH PLEASE! And when I finally let you bring me close You wanna promise me you'll never go Then you wanna leave, BITCH PLEASE! (Interlude) Don't text me, you're pathetic, BITCH PLEASE! This is the only way you'll hear from me, HA! Don't text me, you're pathetic, BITCH PLEASE! This is the only way you'll hear from me, HA!

MATTEW

So...double tribal. Yikes! I feel like I'm in a pretty good spot at this point. I have an alliance with people that I don't think have any reason to flip, but the only troubling thing is the fact that there could potentially be a boatload of rewards and items out there just waiting to get played. Hopefully my alliance is the only one who has gained access to Room 5, but there's always that uncertainty about the Labyrinth that's super scary. We could easily try to play it safe and blindside someone again, but now's not the time for paranoia. I've been thinking a lot about numbers come merge and I'm starting to realize that Trevor is probably at the center of the dynamics of the other tribe. He has Owen and Lydia that he's really close with, who each have people that can branch off to form a majority. I want to trust Ryan when merge comes, but we've been apart for so long at this point that I can't be certain where he his loyalties lie until we can meet back up and talk game again. My point is, there's a lot of uncertainties that could lead to me being in the minority come merge so my focus for the next few rounds is to keep as many people happy with me as possible. I mended bridges with Logan a bit and we've had some pretty solid game talks, so hopefully they're being honest about being willing to let Rob go and they're not just trying to screw me over. I'm going to have to start talking with Duncan again, because there's a lot of uncertainty and distrust between us and if we're going to be able to form a majority at merge, we're going to have to patch things up and look forward. Still, preparing to get #snatched at tribal council tonight.

JD

What kind of evil was that! Escape from hell???? Na man, i think I'll just stay there next time... I mean i saved the rock though! That rock... That will help me do absolutely nothing. By God. 

Okay seriously though, i have control issues. I get that, i know that and I'll embrace my faults. I also think it's one of the reasons why I'm so worried about this tribal. I've had class all day and i haven't been able to really talk to people the way that i want to. I can't get a read on the other three to know if they are really going to stay with us or if they are just planing something with some items. The only thing that I'm not worried about is the idol, maybe that means I'm putting too much trust in Sam but i did save his ass last time we were in tribal. And yes I'm taking all the credit for it because even with Ali's extra vote, my tribe wanted to vote for Robby and i believe that i changed their minds. I saved Sam. Sam best not be fucking with me. Right so last night me and Sam talked in length about what he wanted to do in this game. He told me that Duncan gave him the idol. Something about after you use it you have to give it to someone else. So if he's telling me the truth, and i really think he is, he has the idol. He also wanted to know if i had  any connections with anyone on the other side .... I mean yes! The other half of my final four is over there... I didn't tell him THAT though. I told him that when Trevor came over we talked but mostly about being old... Which was not a lie. That was the first thing we talked about, and being Canadian. Me and Ali liked him enough and checked with Lydia about bring him in with us and i hope that they really have been able to work out their differences Because here is my set up. Final 2 - me and Ali (we can't take a vet with us, that's just asking to lose) Final 4 - me, Ali, Lydia, Trevor (idk what our name is anymore but i really liked when we gave ourselves seasons so I'm going with 4 seasons right now) Final 5 - 4 seasons and Sam because i still think Sam owes me and i plan to collect on that at some point. Final 8 - Owen, Matt, Isaac. And if the 8 of us can get together straight out of the merge, if that happens after tribal, then there would be 12 players in the game. We have more then majority and we get ride of a couple people before shit hurts the fan I'm sure. At 10 it might get bloody cus everyone is going to have their own groups that they want to go to the end with. Right so that all came from mine and Sam's conversation was that he wants to work with Trevor and Owen, because they are a power couple and he thinks they would be targeted before any of use. Which would be truth if Trevor wasn't in my main alliance. All this could go to shit tonight. Any four of us could get voted out or Lydia and Trevor might have decided to leave me and Ali behind. We'll see. About to vote and I'm such a control freak that I'm trying to figure out how to be more involved. Like lying to Logan and telling them to vote for Matt or Sam to see if we can trust her. But... There so much bad that could happen. God I'm going home tonight -_-' 

ROB

If you're not going to stay loyal to me then you can't expect me to stay loyal to you. I'm doing whatever it takes to stay alive in this game, even if it means turning my back on the people I was close to. JD*sigh* i thought this tribal was set. I hate scrambling ready 

ALI

This tribal is awful :( Rob is the general consensus, and I'm being especially nice for two reasons. A) Because I feel really bad B) Because I don't want him to play an idol and for his one vote to vote me out. I wanted to work with him, but that core Olympus 3 was just too tight grr. I wish we could vote off Duncan, he is kinda shifty and I'm still put off by him lying to me... Next time... Also, whoever invented that challenge can CATCH THESE HANDS. It was awful. Also, Scott is probably going tonight, which'll make me one of two newbies left and the only Brit. If Rob goes also, I think I become the youngest person, the only Brit and one of two newbies.... I'm going into extinction.

ISAAC

I love lies and deceit. All of a sudden I'm shook about Trevor keeping me out of the loop™ So me, myself, and I and my petty ass are going to be ugly™