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neuxue · 4 years

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Wheel of Time liveblogging: Towers of Midnight ch 1

A wind passes through an apple orchard, and the world is changed.

Chapter 1: Apples First

Dragon chapter icon – does that mean we get to see Rand post-Dragonmount? I am… very curious.

Though apples in this story just make me think of Perrin, what with his entire family buried beneath the apple trees.

But first, the Wheel, and the wind.

Crisp and light, the wind danced

That’s a marked shift in tone from how the wind has been introduced in the last few books, as a darker and more violent or vicious force. It is entirely possible that I’m overthinking this. But the wind has always felt like something of a binding thread in the whole idea of ‘the Dragon is one with the land’ and it would be fitting for the wind to change as Rand does.

Then again, it does accelerate somewhat in the next paragraph or so.

Are we starting off in Seanchan? That wind sure does get around.

These were towers meant for war. By tradition they were unoccupied. How long that would last – how long tradition itself would be remembered in a continent in chaos – remained to be seen.

That’s an excellent line. It reminds me of another one from an introductory wind sequence: Trade slowed for winter and wars, and the Dragon Reborn, but it never really stopped, not until nations died. I’m not sure why, really; there’s not a huge amount of similarity there beyond an abstract concept of socioeconomics phrased in a particularly lovely way, but there you go.

Beyond that, though… how long tradition itself would be remembered in a continent of chaos is applied to Seanchan here, but it also touches on a rather central theme of the series overall: the tension between past and future, the weight of story and tradition, of myth and legend, against the inevitability of change and the passage of time.

The wind continued eastward, and soon it was playing with the masts of half-burned ships at the docks of Takisrom.

I like the contrast here between playfulness and violence, between caprice and destruction.

The Fields of Peace were aflame

Well that’s… an image. Okay. Damn.

Semirhage really did do her work well. She may be dead now but before she died, I think she made a pretty solid case for herself as one of the most effective Forsaken. Throwing an entire continent into utter chaos, even while helping that empire bring chaos to another continent? Driving Rand across the last of his own thresholds? You could even argue that her death was itself a triumph, because in pushing Rand to the point where he was willing to kill her, she achieved precisely what she needed to.

I mean, Moridin’s nihilism certainly played a role in Rand’s ‘none of it matters’ on Dragonmount, but Semirhage played a rather starring role in getting him there, and for that she deserves some villainous accolades in whatever terrace of hell she’s now decorating to her tastes.

Eventually, the wind encountered another continent, this one quiet, like a man holding his breath before he headsman’s axe fell.

Well. Depending on the exact timing of this – and I certainly have my guesses – that’s… exactly what’s happening. The land waiting, breath held, for the Dragon to decide its future. Salvation or destruction. And so of course the wind arrives to bear witness.

By the time the wind reached the enormous, broken-peaked mountain known as Dragonmount, it had lost much of its strength.

No, I’m not having emotions about wind, you’re having emotions about wind.

But…yes. Because by the time Rand reached Dragonmount, so had he, for all that he held more power than ever before (but power is not strength; the last several books have been a testament to that). Rand is the wind and the wind is Rand and the land is one with the Dragon and the wind both represents that and carries it outward and I just love how this is done.

I love how this sense is created of everything looking towards Dragonmount, and of this silence as the world holds its breath to learn its fate, as the whole dance that’s been spiralling out from Rand at its centre for so long now pauses, draws back towards that centre, and it all turns on the edge of a decision, a perspective, a single choice alone on a mountain that represents at once death and rebirth.

Hi, I’m Lia, and we’re like two pages in and not even done with the wind sequence and I’m already having a Situation about it. Anyway, what else is new?

An orchard of apple trees rather than a grove of olives at the base of Dragonmount. I mean. That works too.

Two figures stood there: a youth and a sombre man in his later years.

Tam? And Rand?

Oh wait no.

Hang on, Almen Bunt? As in, the NPC cart driver from all the way back in The Eye of the World? Wow. That’s some true dedication to conservation of characters right there.

The boy of thirteen had golden hair from his father’s side.

Uh oh, you’d better keep an eye on that one, Almen; sounds like a potential future protagonist and possible long-lost scion of a royal line you’ve got there.

And during the night, every single one of [the apple trees] had shed their fruit. Tiny apples, barely as large as a man’s thumb. Thousands of them. They’d shrivelled during the night, then fallen. An entire crop, gone.

Damn it Rand. (But also… how appropriate. Apples for innocence, and all of them lost).

‘I don’t know what to say, lads,’ Almen finally admitted.

I think in this situation, ‘…fuck’ would not be inappropriate.

So their storehouse looks about like a grocery store’s shelves during lockdown. No grain, no fresh fruit, probably no toilet paper.

Almen’s determined to make the best of it, but it’s hard to make the best of ‘cosmic shenanigans turned to possibly destroying the world with a stray thought because there really is only so much pain a person can stand and when that person happens to be tied to the fate of the world, things get a bit dicey’. But best of luck to you, Almen. Hold on a few minutes and things might get… better.

In all his years, he’d never seen anything like this. This was something evil.

And yet it’s caused by the one who is meant to be the champion of all that is good and bright in the world. He never turned to the Shadow, but with what he had become by the time he reached Dragonmount… he didn’t need to.

I like the way we see this, as well, not just by watching Rand directly in the latter half of TGS, but also in these brief thoughts and viewpoints of complete outsiders, who really don’t know what’s going on. I like that, from that perspective, there isn’t even any doubt. That it’s so obviously something evil, something wrong, something terrible. It serves to highlight just how far wrong everything had gone. Because watching Rand, book by book, you see it happening, but it’s slow. Gradual. So easy, a step at a time, to justify and understand. But then you take a step back and look through a pair of eyes with more distance and see only what he is now – or rather, what he was right before that realisation – and that realisation is terrifying.

The land is dying all around them and at the centre of it is the Dragon Reborn, who is one with the land and yet dying himself even as he lives. Who, at this point, no longer wants to live. And so the land obeys his will. It’s a slow suicide of a world because the weight of that world is too much for the one who has to carry it.

Staring down those neat, perfect rows of useless apple trees, Almen felt the crushing weight of it. Of trying to remain positive.

Rand your nihilism is contagious. Well. Moridin’s nihilism. Which sort of proves the ‘contagious’ point.

I like this as well, that Rand’s own despair is mirrored and echoed not just in the land, but in the people who inhabit it. Like a very slightly less literal wind; the wind is the land’s version of ‘something that reaches everywhere, far beyond where it originated’ and this despair – for now – is the more metaphorical.

This is it then, isn’t it? He thought, eyes toward the too-yellow grass below. The fight just ended.

Well. Yes, very possibly. But not quite in the way you might think.

This is so well done: the way you can tell precisely where we are in Veins of Gold by the thoughts and despair of a single farmer. The way it shows so clearly the reach of Rand’s… self? Effect? I can’t think of the right word, but it’s like how we see the wind brushing across Almen’s shirt, and now Rand’s despair brushing across his mind. Land and Dragon, and it’s all tied together.

Maybe it was time to let go.

He felt something on his neck. Warmth.

Oh no this is beautiful.

It just tracks so perfectly to Veins of Gold, and none of that even needs to be shown. And you can see the precise moment where that despair (‘none of this matters!’) turn to hope. Which is entirely the point, in a way: it may just be one lonely broken hero on a mountain finally trading despair for hope, but it touches everything. He may be alone and unwitnessed, but the entire world feels it. The sun, the wind, a change.

And I think part of what I love about this is that it’s not dramatic. Neither the despair nor the warmth. Instead it’s this soft almost aching gentleness, because that’s all any of it is. It’s not a battle or a dramatic pronouncement or a cheering crowd or a display of power. It’s just… a thought. A shift.

A gentle warmth rather than a… well, a force of light, if you will.

Which serves as the perfect contrast, really, to one of Rand’s darkest (for all that it was blindingly bright) moments. At Natrin’s Barrow he shone with all the cold brilliance of the Light’s power bent on destruction; all light and nothing of warmth. Now, though, in the moment that truly matters, the moment where everything changes, it’s as simple as the sun emerging from behind the clouds, a warmth on the back of a farmer’s neck, a quiet, unseen but all-encompassing realisation that there is something left to fight for.

He hesitated, then turned weary eyes toward the sky. Sunlight bathed his face.

I just… I love that such a simple statement can carry so much weight behind it. It’s the mark of an extraordinarily well-crafted plot point, that this is all it takes to invoke all its effect, and to convey that effect so perfectly. We know what this means, and it’s neither subtle nor heavy-handed; it’s just… right.

And I still can’t get over how perfect it is that we’re seeing this through the eyes of an utterly random and otherwise unimportant character, because that’s the whole point. That’s what Rand, finally, realises he’s fighting for. The chance for people – any people, random people, villagers and farmers and merchants and monarchs alike – to just live. And so of course we see this through the eyes of, to borrow another chapter title, just another man. Because that’s all any of them are.

The apple trees were flowering.

Oh.

I’m.

This whole scene is just hitting the exact tone of gentle yet powerful beauty-in-simplicity, little-things-that-mean-everything that just gets me.

The apples fell and famine seemed certain and yet here they are, flowering once more, a second chance. A rebirth, if you will.

OH NO OH NO HERE HE IS I’M NOT READY FOR THIS

Almen spun to find a tall young man walking down out of the foothills.

Coming down from the mountain like a benevolent wind and bringing flowers with him like the Aiel and the Nym of old, bringing life back to the land like a goddamn messiah and it’s all done so gently and I’m fine.

‘Ho, stranger,’ Almen said.

I don’t even know why this gets me but it does. Stranger, and yet he is the centre of everything. The centre of everything, and yet at the end of the day he is just another man, another stranger.

It’s been a long time since Rand has walked unrecognised. Maybe that’s it.

‘Did you… did you get lost up in the foothills?’

Well. That’s one way to put it. But the point is: he found his way back.

Or his way forward.

Or something.

‘No. I’m not lost. Finally.’

I’m FINE, this is FINE.

Maybe what really gets me about this scene is that it’s hard to remember the last time there was a scene involving Rand that wasn’t overshadowed by pain and desperation. And now it’s… yes, the pain is still there on some level, but it’s like this weight has been lifted, and so the gentleness of this scene stands as a – well, not sharp because the whole point is it isn’t – contrast to everything that came before, and it’s only in the absence of that pain and despair that you realise how heavy it was.

‘There’s nothing back there of use.’

Except for everything.

‘There are always things of use around, if you look closely enough. You can’t stare at them too long. To learn but not be overwhelmed, that is the balance.’

Ah. And so at last he understands. The importance of balance, but also in this specific circumstance which, I think, is in reference to his memories of his life as Lews Therin.

Because at last, at long last, he has accepted those. He has learned to accept them without losing himself, without fear of losing himself, without feeling as if it is an existential struggle, as if he must keep a barrier between them, as if accepting those memories means accepting that fate.

But now he understands: that he can remember, and learn, but still move on, move forwards, grow. Try again, try differently. Have a second chance, informed by but not bound to the doom of the first. To be himself, but to accept the entirety of what that means. Who he was, who he is.

The man’s words… it seemed they were having two different conversations.

It’s okay, Almen, you get used to him.

Perhaps the lad wasn’t right in the head.

No, see, the thing is, he finally is.

‘Do I know you?’ Almen asked. Something about the young man was familiar.

‘Yes,’ the lad said.

Okay, I love this? On so many levels.

Because sure, there’s the literal: Almen has in fact met Rand before, and Rand answers honestly. And then there’s the next layer down: Rand is the Dragon Reborn and therefore known to most at this point, and he answers that honestly as well.

But then there’s this sense of something even more figurative, less tangible. The Dragon is one with the land, and Rand stands as the Light’s champion and the land personified and the centre of the fight and the wind that brings the apple trees to flower. He’s a part of the world and so Almen knows him, as all know him, as all will know him, even those who have never met and never will meet him.

And finally, I love that Almen has to ask. That there’s still this sense of anonymity, for all that it’s threaded through with a familiarity deeper than any acquaintance. That Almen looks at him first and sees a man, a lad, a stranger, rather than the Dragon Reborn: saviour and destroyer, rather than a monster or a madman or a force of nature. That they’re just two strangers in an orchard, and yet they’re not.

Honestly any kind of play on names and naming and identity gets me every time, and when you combine it with my other fictional love of the space between humanity and divinity and monstrosity, you get a very happy Lia.

‘Gather your people and collect those apples. They’ll be needed in the days to come.’

I mean, for projectile weapons you’d be better off sticking with Aludra’s fireworks, but sure.

‘Gather those apples quickly. My presence will hold him off for a time, I think, and whatever you take now should be safe from his touch.’

There’s just this almost startling and yet utterly peaceful sense of calm to him, that we haven’t seen since… honestly ever. Calm and accepting of who and what he is, and for the first time since he left the Two Rivers, not fighting himself in some way. And what a difference it makes.

It's also remarkable how differently it comes across compared to the icy emotionlessness he surrounded himself with after Semirhage. Because that, too, was conveyed as a perfect calm – but there was a wrongness there that’s lacking here. It’s only a few lines of dialogue, and yet it’s so clearly different.

‘I do know you,’ Almen said, remembering an odd pair of youths he had given a lift in his cart years ago. ‘Light! You’re him, aren’t you? The one they’re talking about?’

HE FINALLY REMEMBERS HIM AND IT’S AS THE BOY RAND AL’THOR FIRST, RATHER THAN THE DRAGON REBORN. I’m sorry, but everything about this just gets me. That for once, he is the person first, and the role second. That the true recognition is of a boy from a dusty road.

It's a lovely kind of irony – rather than cruel, for once – that it’s only after he truly comes into his power and accepts it and stops fighting himself and his role and everything he was and is, and is finally ready to face the world as the Dragon Reborn as the Dragon Reborn is meant to be, that he is at last recognised as human by a stranger who sees him.

Meeting those eyes, Almen felt a strange sense of peace.

Well that’s new. And a welcome change. How long has it been since people looked at him and felt anything but fear, or saw him as anything but dangerous?

‘It is likely,’ the man said. ‘Men are often speaking of me.’ He smiled, then turned and continued on his way down the path.

Peaceful and wise and making his way through the orchard like the wind, knowing and acknowledging but not forcing his place in the world. A force of nature still, but this is worlds away from ‘I am the storm’.

He just… is. And he understands that. And accepts it not begrudgingly, or out of duty, or despite the pain it causes, but entirely and unreservedly and with the understanding, at last, of why.

‘Where are you going?’

The man looked back with a faint grimace. ‘To do something I’ve been putting off. I doubt she will be pleased by what I tell her.’

I would bet actual money that means he’s going to see Egwene, and I had to laugh at how even this new wise, calm, peaceful Rand is fully recognisable as the boy from Emond’s Field in this moment. Because those two are never going to be anything but at least a little exasperated with one another at all times, and it’s such a perfect childhood-friends-turned-sweethearts-turned-basically-siblings dynamic and the faint grimace really sells it. (I would not be remotely surprised if there is name-calling. ‘Woolhead’ and ‘stubborn’ will likely be thrown around)

But it also serves as a reminder that, for all his newfound wisdom, Rand is still human. Which... even that little touch is perfect, in this scene. To ground him, just a little. I just love everything about this entire chapter.

Almen thought – for a moment – he could see something around the man. A lightness to he air, warped and bent.

WHERE ONCE THERE WAS DARKNESS. Because he is who he is meant to be now! The champion of the Light in truth! There is finally light to Rand, in more ways than one, and it’s really kind of surprisingly beautiful.

Everything is different, even if no one but Rand will understand why.

I still just love the way such an absolute change came not from a battle or a crown or a display of power, or even an achievement, but purely from… himself. So much played into creating that moment, yes, and so much was focused on it, but ultimately it was just Rand, alone on the mountain of his suicide and birthplace, coming to terms with himself and seeing something in the world worth saving.

And I’m struggling to express precisely why I like that, but I think it’s something about, I don’t know, the power of the individual, I suppose? The way something so existential can come from something as simple as acceptance? The way nothing has changed, and yet everything has changed, and the cause of it all is finding a purpose, a reason, a last decision to choose a chance at hope over the certainty of despair.

I mean, so much of epic fantasy is about the magic and the power and the politics and the battles, about everything taking place on a grand scale, about the fantastical. But sometimes you also get moments like this, where balanced against all of that you still see the importance of just… a person, and a choice.

Next (ToM ch 2) Previous (ToM prologue pt. 3)

#I'm! fine! this is fine!#wheel of time #neuxue liveblogs WoT #Towers of Midnight

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umusicians · 3 years

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UM Interview: What If Elephants

Montreal Indie Pop band What If Elephants are making their stamp on the Canadian music industry with a sound that is very much their own. Formed in 2014, the quartet strikes a delicate balance with their elegant and rousing sound – between accessible pop and deeper, introspective lyrics that lie just below the surface. The bands success includes being a Four times semi-finalists in CBC Searchlight, winners in Canada’s Walk of Fame RBC Emerging Musician Program 2018 and featured both on Canada Destinations and Parcs Canada for promotional campaigns.

Amandah Opoku sat down with Joey Langlois of What If Elephants to talk about the band's new single “Sugar Daddy”, Canadian music influences, growth as a band and more!

Amandah Opoku: Joey, thank you for doing this interview today! Before we kick off please tell our readers about yourself and one random fact people do not know about you. Joey Langlois: Thanks for having me! People may not know that I am a huge fan of sci-fi movies. Namely the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Star Wars, and anything Christopher Nolan does haha.

Amandah Opoku: If you could describe What If Elephants’ music in three words, what words would you choose and why? Joey Langlois: This one is easy for me to overthink. To keep it simple, I’d say; fun, reflective and accessible. Fun because I know all of us in the band love to groove, so hopefully that’s transmitted haha. Reflective because we put a lot of thought into all the musical and lyrical decisions we make, as well as what we’re saying with a given song. Accessible because it’s fairly easy to digest the musical and lyrical ideas we put out.

Amandah Opoku: What If Elephants is a Canadian Indie Pop band, based in Montreal. Have any Canadian artists influenced you musically? If so, who? Joey Langlois: Hey Rosetta / Tim Baker as projects, have had a significant influence on us as musicians. I’ve personally loved hearing what Justin Bieber, Scott Hellman, Alessia Cara, Shawn Mendes, Valley, Walk Off The Earth, and soooo many more artists have been doing in the past couple years. I’m also influenced by a lot of friends projects; Maya Malkin/Motel Raphael, Bayla, Flara K, and many other we’ve had the pleasure of working with over the years.

Amandah Opoku: What If Elephants is a unique name. How did you come up with the name for the band? And what does the name “What If Elephants” mean to you? Joey Langlois: One night, we were chilling with friends and I brought them the problem of choosing a band name. As we tossed around ideas saying; “what about this, what if that?…. what if elephants?”, kinda just popped out. There’s something majestic about that animal. There’s also the idea that we strive to address the elephants in the room - as the expression goes - while still remaining accessible. To be honest, I was looking for a new band name earlier this year haha. For some people it seems like the stars align. For others, there just isn't a name that feels like sums up your ideas.

Amandah Opoku: What inspired you to pursue a music career and create “What If Elephants”? Joey Langlois: For me, it was wanting to create music with positive messages for following generations of youth. When I was a kid, there seemed to be a lack of depth and/or positivity in a lot of the easily accessible music. The way we access music has changed, but there is still a need for more positivity! As a person, I much prefer to collaborate than work alone, so forming a band with friends just made sense. We love spending time together, which I think is key for the long haul.

Amandah Opoku: What is one piece of advice you received since you began pursuing music, that has aided you on your path? Joey Langlois: Everyone has their own story of how things work out. Be honest with your art, work hard, and stick with it as long as you love it. That’s synthesized. It’s hard to pinpoint one piece of advice, all the advice becomes a vibe haha.

Amandah Opoku: What If Elephants is made up of 4 individuals with divergent musical experiences that contribute to your sound. What’s it like writing and working together with your different influences? And how do you incorporate everyone’s ideas into the creation process? Joey Langlois: A lot of our songs had unique processes from one another. We’ve created arrangements in a jam space. Recording session all together. I’ve sent only lyrics for someone else to write chords and melody. Sometimes I arrive with a song I wrote with another songwriter and we arrange, and the list goes on. I generally have a good idea of where I want to go sonically for the production, so often in that stage, I’ll communicate basic ideas musically or verbally and then Justin, Alanna, or Collin will interpret it with their touch and ideas. It really is never the same though - thus far.

Amandah Opoku: 2020 was quite a year for all of us. How has the pandemic affected you as a musician? What have you learned about yourself? Joey Langlois: 2020 has taught me that I need to be a lot nicer to myself with my inner voice. I can be very destructive to myself with my thoughts on my musical pursuits or just life in general. I’m not sure that this is entirely new for me, but 2020 highlighted it for sure. As a musician, I’d say that it opened up time for some collaborations that may not have happened otherwise, which is the other side of the coin which has cost the industry a lot.

Amandah Opoku: What Elephants is releasing a new single “Sugar Daddy” at the end of this month, what inspired the song? Joey Langlois: I’ve never really had that much money, but I’ve never experienced extreme poverty either. The song reflects some of my experience of what happens when you’re in the grind of reaching goals or just paying bills and how it can put stress on a relationship. The song is a reminder to evaluate my priorities when things start to fall apart.

Amandah Opoku: What was the writing and recording process like for “Sugar Daddy”? Joey Langlois: I wrote the first draft of the song in 2018, and my friend Tokyo Speirs contributed lyrics to polish the chorus. The verse underwent two re-writes, after which Mike Bilenki helped refine some of the lyrics as well. As a band we had come up with the core arrangement pretty early on, so the last stage was having our friend Lucas Liberatore co-produce it with us and give the last push on a long, long journey to deliver a polished track. Without him stepping in, we weren’t even sure about finishing it for this EP! Everything was kind-of recording across that whole time span. Some pre, and some post-COVID 19.

Joey Langlois: “Sugar Daddy” features Maya Malkin, how did the collaboration happen? Joey: Maya has been a good friend to me and the band for years. I’ve always admired her skills as an artist and songwriter. Once the verses had been written, somehow to me it just kind of felt like that verse needed a character Maya could totally capture. I won’t say I told you so, but when I hear it, I couldn’t be happier that she leant her voice to this track. Very excited about her solo project as well!

Amandah Opoku: With “Sugar Daddy” out at the end of this month, what can fans expect from What If Elephants next? Joey Langlois: ‘What can we expect next’ is one of the most difficult question to answer these days. What we plan on doing is releasing another single and finally, our new EP between now and May. Making informed decisions with the constantly changing structure of our lives these days seems impossible, but we hope to give the best experience possible as we share what we’ve created, as we adjust to varying constraints. We’re working our butts off on making some cool videos – that’s been my hobby these days. I spend hours setting up weird science experiments just to see if an idea I’ve developed for hours has a chance of working haha.

Amandah Opoku: You (What If Elephants) released your debut EP ‘Getaway’ in 2015, how would you say you’ve grown as an individual and a band? Joey Langlois: Oh my. I think we’ve grown closer to each other. We don’t get to just hang out a ton. Music takes a lot of time, and then each of us has our own life. I feel like we’ve all become more decided on what we enjoy in life, which is helpful to, you know - enjoying life haha. Recently, I’m learning to enjoy the little things that can easily seem like distractions from the important things, but might be opportunities to get insight on something inspiring. Dishes for example. I mostly have avoided dishes for as long as possible and then dreaded them. Now, they’re becoming a moment to listen and learn - be it from a podcast, music, or through talking with Alanna. It’s actually become a bit of a retreat, but not always haha. It would be great to have a dishwasher. That’s one example.

Amandah Opoku: What have you learned since the release of your debut EP, that you wish you knew when you first started this journey? Joey Langlois: Make the music you truly want to make. That first EP is something the I’m grateful for, but I know that at the time, I was very much making music that I thought suited Montreal better than the poppy sound I would otherwise naturally emit. I am still learning that. Learning how to be myself is a constant effort. Whether it’s getting over self-consciousness, or actually just trying to know what I really want. I find that I sometimes get confused between what the world says I should want, and what I actually want. Also, I wish I had started collaborating with other artists and writers so much earlier.

Amandah Opoku: If you had to choose 1 song to send to a listener to introduce them to What If Elephants, what song would you choose and why? Joey Langlois: “Elastic Band” gives a good general overview of our vibe, but I must say that I can’t wait to release new material because I do find it represents where I’m at now, much better.

Amandah Opoku: For new fans who come across your music, what would you like them to take away from your music? Joey Langlois: Hope. We go through so much hardship in life, both practically and relationally. I want people to know they’re not alone and that there are ways we can think and things we can do that can have a positive effect or our own lives and the lives of others. And I hope they also just have a good time jamming to it.

Amandah Opoku: Joey, thank you for sitting down with me! Before we close this interview, is there anything you want to say to your fans and our readers? Joey Langlois: It’s been a pleasure! Please hang in there everyone. Be kind to the people around you (including you!) - both the people who agree with you and the ones that disagree. In the end, it is the culmination of our small gestures towards one another that shape our world. We feel so lucky to be able to create this music, and so thankful that people would take the time to listen and connect with it.

Connect with What If Elephants: https://www.whatifelephants.com/ https://www.facebook.com/whatifelephants/ https://www.instagram.com/whatifelephants/ https://twitter.com/whatifelephants

#Interviews #Amandah Opoku #What If Elephants #Joey Langlois #Featured

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paul-patts-blog · 7 years

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Character Profile: Paul Roman Patts “Pongo”

“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for – and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool – for love – for your dreams – for the adventure of being alive.” -Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Myers-Briggs: ENFP

Sometimes called the performer of the Myers-Briggs, it makes sense that Paul, collector of witticisms and incorrigible flirt, would hold the title of ENFP. Often the life of the party, never anything less than a free spirit, an ENFP’s buoyant, unending energy is for one purpose and one purpose only: seeking social and emotional connections in the crowd they so often surround themselves with. Paul is no different. He becomes restless and lonely if he does not have people to turn to and he depends on his friendships to steer him away from his weaknesses, like his malicious low self-esteem or his tendency to overthink or overwork. But because of Paul’s background, he has a lot of secrets and sources of shame, so those people-- the ones he can truly depend on-- are actually very seldom found. You can think you’re in Paul’s inner circle, but his charm, friendliness and communication skills are really fooling you-- you’re just one of the many people who Paul wants to please.

Paul’s love of people is rooted too in his love of writing and reading. His NF means that he’s an intuitive guy, interested in what motivates people and able to see under the initial surface (and part of that might be because Paul is so cognizant of the surface he presents to others that he assumes rather readily that most people are like him-- icebergs, more dwelling underneath). When he writes, he writes just as much to understand others as he does to understand himself, and though his shame stops him from sharing his work, Paul secretly hopes that one day his fiction could provide bridges between that inner self of his and others.

Hogwarts house: Slytherin Primary, Gryffindor Secondary with a very strong Slyth Model

Paul’s people-pleasing, affable, confident ways make him first seem like a Gryffindor to some, but that’s just the act, his Slytherin model making it easy for him to adapt to the needs of a situation. Paul’s real primary is Slytherin and it’s extremely strong. He’s motivated by what’s his: himself, his needs (his ambition is pretty traditional Slytherin), and the needs of his immediate inner circle. For Paul, that’s always meant the Patts family: because Patts’ take care of their own. It’s why he didn’t go to uni when he was 18, dropping his scholarship because of the death of his brother and his own mother’s mental health. It’s why for six more years Paul stayed in East End, loyal to his family who needed him, pushing his own dreams to the side-- he could come back to them. It’s why even now he can’t fully let go of Perdita or kick her from that inner circle (she’s got a foot out the door and he’s doing his best to cut her out), and why he let Roger back in though he’d been betrayed so badly. It’s ridiculously hard for Paul to unlearn the loyalty he has assigned to his people. That diehard loyalty is also particularly hard-won. For many, it takes years. Most people never get it.

Paul is also unusual though in that he’s a Slytherin that has almost completely kicked himself out of his circle. Many times in his life as said above, Paul’s dreams have come in direct conflict with the needs of those most important to him. Because Paul needs his people, can’t live without his people, he always chooses them over himself. He’s learned to belittle his needs to come to terms with these decisions, unknowingly doing more damage than he realizes.

The model/dor combo is often constantly in tug-o-war with each other too. The -dor is handed down to him by his brothers and father as he was taught to act first, ask questions later. And Paul’s got an extremely emotional core, his F probably his strongest piece of his Myers-Briggs; saying no to that emotional core causes him immense frustration. But he learned at a young age that the Patts’ way of doing things isn’t necessarily the best way and it was better to be charming than honest if it got him where he wanted to go. His Slyth model is then used in two different ways-- to play and flirt, and as a last-ditch survival technique, like when navigating the troubled waters of his relationship with Perdita. It’s a model because he hates doing it in these serious instances, always feels a little guilty and slimy, and would much rather just be himself. When Paul is relaxed though, then his- dor shines, and people can see that charge-headfirst, inspiring bloke, once head of his secondary football team and for good reason-- he’s the guy you want calling shots.

Enneagram: 3w2-- The Charmer

Basic Fear: Of being worthless Basic Desire: To feel valuable and worthwhile

If Paul’s Myers-Briggs and Hogwarts house help explain his social and emotional sides, then his Enneagram explains his professional and personal ambitions best-- these parts of him sidelined and sacrificed due to his upbringing and loyalty. Paul isn’t a very healthy 3 then, though he’s learned to perform the role well and was much healthier in his upper sixth-form days-- when he was a star athlete with a scholarship, admired by his peers and immensely popular with basically any “group” in his year. That’s because 3s strive to achieve, are often confident and well-spoken, and love to share their talents as much as they love to encourage the talents of others. They are role models, class presidents, homecoming kings and queens-- and Paul fit into that model well, even though he had to hide his background to do it and ignore the little voice that told him he was a fraud.

Threes are thus obsessed with their goals, and Paul, a dreamer, has too many goals to count. For Paul to have a successful life, he needs to go to university-- he’s always defined that as the first marker of a successful life, and he longed to be the very first Patts to do so. He wants badly to have a successful relationship and a healthy family as well. He needs to make money too in any way that he can. He doesn’t seek fame as much as he seeks that stability, though because he grew up in poverty, stability does seem materialistic to him in a lot of ways. It means a house, two cars, going to good schools, being able to go on vacation, afford nice, new clothes and nice, new toys and basically being able to give his people whatever he can. Paul won’t be happy until he can do that, then, or until he has reframed his understanding of wealth and success.

But because Threes connect their self-worth to that desire to succeed, it’s Paul’s own sacrifice of his essential needs that have resulted in the development of his secret second self, who feels worthless because he has fallen so far from what he’s always imagined. He will continue to feel worthless, empty, and like a nobody without any value or talent or thing to contribute as long as he picks his people over himself. And unfortunately for Paul, he’s stuck in a vicious cycle of doing just that.

Four Temperaments: Sanguine (Air)

People with sanguine personality type tend to be lively, optimistic, buoyant, and carefree. They love adventure and have a high risk tolerance. Typically, Sanguine people are very poor at tolerating boredom and will seek variety and entertainment. Because this temperament is prone to pleasure-seeking behaviors, many people with sanguine personality are likely to struggle with addictions. Their constant cravings may lead to overeating and weight problems.

These people are very creative and may become great artists. In addition, they are fantastic entertainers and will naturally do well if they choose careers in entertainment industry.

Astrology:

Zodiac: Libra (October 1st): Domestic, craves peace and balance, powerful sense of justice, innovative, charming, overthinking, over-imaginative, resentful, intolerant

Chinese Zodiac: Ram (1991): tender, polite, filial, clever, and kind-hearted, with a special sensitivity to art and beauty.

Celtic Tree: Ivy: The Celtic meaning of the ivy deals with connections and friendships because of its propensity to interweave in growth. Ever furrowing and intertwining, the ivy is an example of the twists and turns our friendships take - but also a testimony to the long-lasting connections and bonds we form with our friends that last over the years. Another tribute to friendship as well as the test of time is the ivy's ability to grow in challenging environments. The ivy is incredibly durable and can withstand harsh conditions. This is symbolic of our ability to stick by our friends no matter what.

The ivy is also a symbol of survival and determination for the same reasons. It seems to be virtually indestructible and will often return after it has suffered damage or has been severely cut back. This is an example of the human spirit and the strength we all have to carry on regardless of how harrowing our setbacks may have been.

Harry Potter Statistics

Wand: Unicorn heartstring, 13 ¾, Hazel- A sensitive wand, hazel often reflects its owner’s emotional state, and works best for a master who understands and can manage their own feelings. Others should be very careful handling a hazel wand if its owner has recently lost their temper, or suffered a serious disappointment, because the wand will absorb such energy and discharge it unpredictably. The positive aspect of a hazel wand more than makes up for such minor discomforts, however, for it is capable of outstanding magic in the hands of the skillful, and is so devoted to its owner that it often ‘wilts’ (which is to say, it expels all its magic and refuses to perform, often necessitating the extraction of the core and its insertion into another casing, if the wand is still required) at the end of its master’s life (if the core is unicorn hair, however, there is no hope; the wand will almost certainly have ‘died’). Hazel wands also have the unique ability to detect water underground, and will emit silvery, tear-shaped puffs of smoke if passing over concealed springs and wells.

Ilvermorny house: Thunderbird

Patronus: Timber wolf

#about #what i did at work today instead of doing my actual work lol

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jordanbstudentlion · 6 years

Text

Vision

My mom, a self-proclaimed social justice warrior, went into labor in the middle of The Million Man March on October 16th, 1995. Unable (and possibly unwilling) to leave she stayed in totality, calling my dad hours into labor to tell him to meet her at the Washington Hospital Center.

My sister's names are Nyah and Taylur. Nyah is named after a character in Mission Impossible and Taylur is named after my third-grade bully. My dad and stepmom gave me the ability to name my second sister but I wasn’t happy with how the first one turned out and wasn't looking forward to another. Therefore, I named her after the only enemy I had at 8 years old.

I have had one stepmom and three stepdads. My favorite stepdad's name is Kenny. He helped me learn how to fix my car, pitch a tent, and still sends me birthday money. My mom and Kenny separated three years ago. Sabrina, my stepmom, has been married to my dad since I was 3. She is the most religious person in my life. She is hesitant to be authoritarian in my life however she has always been firm in my going to church.

I had three options in going to undergrad: Howard University, Louisiana State University, and George Mason University. I hated all of my options at the time but picked George Mason University. I had a good 4-year experience but would approach the application process for undergrad differently a second time around. I joined a sorority. Going greek both matches and clashes with my personality. I quickly became a leader in my chapter and loved having a say in the comings and goings of a small 100+ army of young women. However, working cohesively with a small 100+ army of young women can be exhausting just as much as it is exhilarating.

When I was in high school I was bullied from middle through high school. To combat this my mom sent me to a leadership camp called the National Student Leadership Conference (NSLC). It was only a 9-day program but I have since worked for that same organization and it has become a big part of my life.

However this summer I hated my boss. He was manipulative and phony. I never knew what he was thinking and it threw me off from the first day. He would talk about people behind their backs and then smile to their faces. I hated it. But the organization is my favorite and something I want to grow in but it sucks because now I have to grow in it alongside him. So not only do I hate him, I can’t get away from him either.

Although I named my sister after my third-grade bully, my true arch nemesis from my youth was Rachel Fox. She lived directly behind me and made my life hell in the 7th grade. I was scared of her and she knew it but in true teen girl fashion, I called her my friend. Our “friendship” climaxed when she pushed me down an icy flight of stairs and my mom threatened to call the police. Unrelated to the stairs, she is in jail now.

The most at stake for me in my youth was my self-esteem. I wasn’t comfortable in who I was and felt out of place no matter where I went. There isn’t a cure-all for feeling unwanted, unfortunately. I was awkward and thankfully awkward becomes quirky when you hit your twenties. I am trying my best but sometimes that low self-esteem creeps back in. I have a feel-good folder full of reasons I should be happy. It's incredibly cheesy but it works. It includes pictures and letters from friends. I started compiling it in high school and its worked thus far.

My parents separated before I was born and they have been bickering since. Stories of my childhood are always hazy because they come from two very different yet skewed perspectives. I spent equal amounts of time in each household. I feel that I am an equal dose of each of my parents. One part cynical from my dad, one part hippie from my mom. They are both abrasive, a trait that seemingly skipped me. I feel laid back and I often lack the bark necessary to stand up for yourself. I have to quite literally give myself a pep talk to talk in public spaces sometimes. But then on the other hand sometimes my mouth won’t shut. Sometimes I like to identify which traits belong to my mother and which traits belong to my father. After accomplishing something socially bold I’ll think, “That was a Kim trait,” and then after doing something mildly offensive but career progressive I’ll think,” How Keith of me.” Is that weird? Awkward? Quirky?

I once studied abroad in Ireland for one month. I hated it. It rains all the time, and there aren’t many people of color, which isn’t new to me but the Irish like to ask you about being black. It’s a hefty conversation to have with a total stranger but to each their own. I was taking a class in creative writing while there and when I was in class I was thriving. Other parts? Not quite. My class was made of students from my undergrad and each of them had such bold personalities I feel confident that I could create hundreds of characters stemming from them alone. One girl ran off with the bartender at our hotel during the first night and another was in color guard but insisted on practicing in public places and during our tours; This same girl also owned a wolf. Not a necessary fact overall but occasionally I scroll past her and her wolf on social media and still jump at the idea.

On my 10th birthday, my mom drove me all the way to my dads, two hours away to celebrate and he never showed up. He later told me that I never got back to him if I wanted to have a party. Most 9-year-olds have terrible phone etiquette so I am not surprised. I sobbed the whole ride back. So loudly that I didn't hear my mom planning an impromptu party in the front seat. She invited a fury of people. Anyone who would come and was available: Our landscaper, my Sunday School teacher, and our hairdresser. The party included pinning the tail on the donkey, cake, and even goody bags. I have zero clues how she put together a good time in such a short time. I rarely ask because when I do I can’t help but remember that on the flip side my dad ditched me.

I recently watched a Netflix movie called To All The Boys I Loved Before where the main character writes love letters to her crushes. Of course, this launched me into wondering who I’d write my own love letters too and I can narrow it down to three truly significant romantic loves. One was in high school, one in college, and one this summer. All three were relatively significant in my life, however, I still feel weird saying it aloud. I’ve learned that I fall in love easily. If you’re looking to satisfy someone with the bare minimum? I’m your girl. I learned that I am forgiving in all the wrong ways. I am not quick to forget the shortcomings of my loved ones but more so unwilling to have the hard talks that come with addressing them. It could be that I am still coming down from the cheesy fumes of the rom-com but I resonate with the main character Lara Jean. She is cautious and overthinks. But that overthinking leads to wild imagination. She is by far my most positive character whom I feel a kinship with.

I also think I relate to Evan Hansen. Quirky, overall overlooked but fun guy. Depressed but in that joking, I don’t want people to catch on that I hate myself way. Just like Charlie Bartlett, He is deep in his own feelings and despair but manages to fool the whole school into thinking he’s got it together. His character also makes close relationships with a majority of the other characters however still feels a lack of belonging. Charming, quirky, but still lonely. And lastly, a character I have related to since my youth has been Courage the Cowardly Dog. He Courage was scared all the time of everything, and he had every right to be. Aliens and Monsters are nothing to joke about! However, he still went through whatever task he needed to accomplish in the episode and ultimately his owners never noticed his ever-growing anxiety. I am anxious about a lot but I know that at the end of the day I am going to keep pushing myself towards the tasks I need to accomplish. I also feel as though others cannot see my own insecurities and that is how I would prefer to keep it. In terms of importance to me, I order these characters as follows: Courage The Cowardly Dog from Courage The Cowardly Dog, Evan Hansen from Dear Evan Hansen, Charlie Bartlett from Charlie Bartlett, Lara Jean Song Covey from To All The Boys I Loved Before.

Four public figures that I have a kinship with include: Sarah Polley, Richard Engel, Johnny “Bananas” Devenanzio, and Rudy Mancuso. My list of public figures includes people well established in their careers. Each possesses an element that I hope to possess in my own career. Sarah Polley made the documentary Stories We Tell, which was a raw look into her own family. I remember watching and being uncomfortable with the idea of exposing not only my family but myself to the public. But ultimately it's what made her work so good. I appreciated, understood, and admired her decisions as a filmmaker because of it. Richard Engel is a news correspondent who has done just about everything to get a good story. His work primarily has him covering stories of hardship during the Iraq War, Arab Spring, and the Syrian Civil War. He does fair coverage of it all. He is in the business of journalism but I admire his ability to tell a story in all circumstance and hope to possess that ability in my own filmmaking. Johnny Bananas is a Reality Television star and Rudy Mancuso is an Internet Personality. I am interested in digital media and reality series and would love at some point be able to work within those realms. I relate to these public figures in this order: Richard Engel, Sarah Polley, Johnny “Bananas” Devenanzio, Rudy Mancuso

A list of people who have impacted my life includes Spenge, Sasha, Spax, Leigh, Cynthia, Rachel Fox, Mitchell, Marg, Evan, Austin, Zoe, Brandon, Jarrett, Emily W, Brittney, and Cole.

In the future, I want to be happier than I am today. I say that to myself often; it is very Kim of me. But I think it is a nice cover all of what are your plans for the future? I am currently happier than I was yesterday and I am definitely doing much better this year than I was last year. I would like to get more experience on set. I would like to narrow down exactly what I want to do in the Film Industry. I would like to make a social and career network in the Film Industry. I am currently starting out in a new town and I’ve got some friends but I could use some more. It is weird to make friends as an adult especially when you know it is so critical to how you fair in a new town. Every new interaction is pressure because these could be my people for the next few years. I hope in the future I am happier than I am today, but I also hope I stop worrying about the mundane.

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