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takaraphoenix · 3 years

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Buffy Season 8: Review

It’s bad. It’s just... really... bad. That’s the TL;DR of this review. There was one (1) good thing about this season and that was the return of Oz. So if you’re looking for something that hypes season 8? This is not it. If you are confused, angry or salty about season 8? Hi, yes, me too.

Starting at the beginning. At first, I was really happy that they introduced more characters of color, with Renee and Satsu. And when Renee was then even “promoted” to Xander’s love interest? Nice. The two were even cute.

But no. That was all just the set-up to fridge her. Which, I am so very tired of that trope. And that is what that was. That wasn’t just a slayer dying during a fight. The entire issue of her death focused on her and Xander, building up to their relationship, setting them up for their first date, having her be prominently featured, just to then kill her off and have Xander avenge her.

What made it feel even worse - worse than just the fridging - was that they really had to fridge one of their very few women of color. And, to top it off, spend the entire issue in which she dies having her subjected to racism. Just great. Really, you managed to make an already shitty trope even worse. That’s impressive.

The racism itself too. Dracula. They just decided to make Dracula totally racist now, huh? and it doesn’t get a pass just because Xander points out in the comic that he doesn’t remember Dracula being this racist. Because he wasn’t. This Dracula just throws around slurs left and right in a way that feels more like the writers just really wanted to use slurs. Because the character? He was suave, charming, heck he charmed the straight men and the lesbians too when he was on the show. He was a smooth talker. This Dracula? He just... He was just racist and rude in general. Why.

Moving on from the racism to the next failure in rep. The gays. At this point in time I am simply convinced that Joss Whedon is entirely unfamiliar with the concept of bisexuality.

I know I’ve already made a separate post complaining about this, but it needs mentioning in the review of the season too. Having Buffy hook up with a lesbian twice, but #NoHomo, just a straight girl in her “experimental phase”. That’s just cringey and also offensive. Just... make her... come out as a bisexual? It’s not like the writing in the show hadn’t already set her up with quite the bi vibes.

Instead, the narrative made it sound like the only options would be to be straight or to now suddenly turn “into” a lesbian. Which is also offensive on itself, because - as this very show had proven on screen - lesbians can come out later in life and genuinely, I adore Willow’s arc. For her narrative, it fit to have her come out as a lesbian, the circumstances and her life fit for that. I absolutely agree that it would have been weird for Buffy to have a sudden coming out as a lesbian at that point in her life and after everything, but referring to it as turning into a dyke was just not great.

And lesbian wasn’t the only option. Though, I’m unsure Whedon knows that, considering that 6/6 canon queer characters are homosexual and 4/4 wlw are lesbians. They just keep introducing more lesbians - which, as a lesbian I am always in favor of more lesbians. However, when you have a very small number (2) of queer characters, it figures you can not cover all the sexualities and it’s even fair that even with two, you still choose to have them both be the same sexuality. But... the more you add? The more questionable it becomes that you limit it to one sexuality only.

This arc would have so beautifully set up for Buffy to come out as bi. But no.

And while we’re on the wlw; one of the things I always loved about Buffy was that the lesbians weren’t just there for the male gaze, they weren’t oversexualized. They desired each other, they even had sex. But... in a normal frame work, to a normal amount, meaning equal to how the straights were handled. I always liked that, because especially in early days, lesbians were usually just there to look really hot and have hot sex that straight men could get off to. Well, consider me very unimpressed with the comics, because... man are lesbians sexualized now. Willow gets a hot constantly naked snake goddess girlfriend whom she can only contact by - and I am not making this up - having an orgasm. So we prelude the trip by her having sex with Kennedy, before waking up all nude in snake goddess’ realm and usually having am makeout session or sex with her too while doing whatever business she has with her. So much nakedness, so much oversexualization. Really... disappointing.

Staying on the romance but turning to the other Summers sister, I truly can’t believe they made Xander/Dawn canon. Like, I can not comprehend they decided to make that a canon ship.

Sure, Dawnie’s had a crush on Xander since the literal beginning of Dawn. And that was... cute, honestly. Fifteen year old girls have crushes on cute older guys who are nice to them. Figures. Adorable. But she kind of... grew out of that over the course of the show? Or so it seemed...

And Xander. One of the things I loved about Xander was that Dawn was always a total no go. She was Buffy’s sister, heck, she was kind of every Scoobie’s little sister. He had always had brotherly advise for her. Heck, in this comic he points out that it’s weird since he’s known her since she was little - and yeah it is. It’s not weird when two people were both little together, but when one was sixteen when the other was eleven and one has babysat the other? That’s weird.

Getting infinitely more disturbing by the fact that she... literally... just turned eighteen. If they had put this into a rather later season, or a bigger time skip, had Dawn been A WomanTM for a few years now and Xander had gotten around to separating the idea of kiddo!Dawnie from the woman she has become, but Dawn is only eighteen, she hasn’t become a woman yet. She just turned legal to bang and thus, a switch was flipped in Xander’s mind, putting her on his radar. And just... no. Why.

And even beyond this decision; Dawn spends the first third of this season being slut-shamed in ridiculous ways. Which is also tiresome. I am the last person to defend cheaters, but there’s a difference between “You cheated and are being held accountable for it” and “You cheated so now you are cursed to be a giant, a centaur and then a porcellain doll for weeks at a time, being publicly humiliated and having control over your body taken away from you”. That was... sure a choice.

Moving on to the actual main problem of this season. The plot.

Starting with the incomprehensibly dumb idea of “hey let’s retreat to Tibet, put a huge target on Oz’s new home and get rid of all of our magic. surely that will not come to bite us in the arse when the bad guys find us”. Naturally, it came back to bite them in their collective asses. This was just... No one objected or pointed out how dumb that plan was? Really? No one? Really?

Anyway, let’s talk villains. And work our way up there. The return of Amy and Warren. Once again, I ask why. I’m still salty about the 180° Amy did from sweet Wiccan to wicked bitch after her stint as a rat, but having her now... hook up with Warren, the second biggest misogynist on this show, who is also skinless. She used a spell to keep him alive but she couldn’t... give the spell a color? Anything? Anything to not make him look flayed? Because this was just unnecessarily gross body-horror.

Not to mention the... lack of reaction? Sure, some spoke grumpily against working with Warren. But... this is Warren. The guy who killed Tara when he was trying to kill Buffy. There really should have been more breather-scenes of the Scoobies talking about this, digesting the fact that the guy was still alive and more so when they worked with him.

But nevermind them, because they’re working for Angel. Because Angel’s the villain behind this season. I mean, he was manipulated into that by Twilight, but manipulated means he still chose to do it.

Now let me preface that I might not ship Angel/Buffy, but that really only factors marginally in here, because this plot would be bullshit even if it were my OTP.

We now retcon the creation of the Slayers as not just being something dirty old men did in a cave, it was now all the greater plan of the universe. Which. Might have worked had Slayers been... naturally occuring. And not created by men, forcing this upon a young woman. Sure, what people do can be seen as the greater plan of the universe too if you will, but that seems like a cop-out that absolves bad people of their bad choices and deeds.

Anyway. The universe created Slayers and vampires and the ““balance”“ between them (which is bullshit anyway because 1 Slayer vs thousands of vampires... not balanced at all), including the now supposedly destined romance between Angel and Buffy.

Both get rewarded with super-powers now so they can super-fuck and thus give birth to a new universe. That universe is called Twilight and manifests as a burning, winged, green lion who can talk (because that sure is how I always headcanoned Angel/Buffy’s children to look like /s) and who, through time-travel shenannigans, has been manipulating Angel into his own creation.

The magic pull between them is so strong that it overrides the “Angel just caused the death of over two-hundred Slayers” so Buffy fucks him.

At which point I just... this season was flat-out character assassination of Angel? He was manipulated by the bad guy. Not controlled, manipulated. He caused the death of hundreds. He threw everything he stood for and believed in out the window for the promise of a paradise where he could be with Buffy, when the real Angel has chosen other things, higher goals, over being with Buffy over and over again, because that’s what they do. That is their whole thing, they choose the good of the world over being together. They have always been a “will they/won’t they?” where the answer is they won’t, because they know they are needed elsewhere, by others. But now Angel just... doesn’t care about all that anymore, or heck about his own son and his friends, ready to abandon everything for this.

And then when Twilight is born and consequently abandoned by Buffy, who still prioritizes her friends, family and the world over being with Angel, Angel actually... needs convincing in the abandoning? Because, again, character assassination. Ultimately, Angel gets controlled by Twilight and used to kill Giles and try to kill Buffy.

But thanks to the Deus Ex Machina of Spike dropping in in the final arc, they know how to stop this. He hasn’t been in this season so far, because - truly in line with this season - he was off being the king of a race of alien bugs, traveling in their space-ship.

To stop this all, they go back to Sunnydale, where of course the “heart of the Earth” is located, the seed that contains all magic, and destroy it, and with it all magic. Also, the Master was apparently always just there to guard that seed. He is now back from the dead!

Let me summarize that once more, just for emphasis: The universe wanted Buffy and Angel to fuck so they can give birth to a new universe that personifies as a green, winged, burning lion but before it can destroy our universe, Spike, now king of an alien bug race, delivers the solution to go back to Sunnydale and destroy the seed of all magic that is being guarded by a resurrected Master.

How do you read that with a straight face? How do you pitch that? This is just so incomprehensibly stupid.

We end the comic with Buffy as a waitress, hated by many, Xander and Dawn now have an apartment and are playing house, Willow broke up with Kennedy because she realized she is in love with the snake goddess she will now never get to see again, Giles is dead, Faith somehow inherited everything from Giles and she is also the designated Angel-sitter now.

#Buffy Season 8 #Buffy Review #Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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dreaming-of-assclass · 4 years

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UwU would like to hear your thoughts on Irina civil war

Nao! (I’m so sorry, this is so late. It got buried in my drafts ihhhhh)

Ah yes: one of my favorite Civil War concepts 😤

So basically the class would be split in:

A) Allow Irina to stay in the class. She’s young, has lived a very traumatized life...she deserves a second chance.

B) Hell no. She tried to kill us, she betrayed us. I don’t feel comfortable being around her.

I mean, those are the basics. All of this is way more nuanced than that.

Side A would bring up the argument that Irina was stuck in a tough position herself. She was heartbroken, vulnerable, and you can’t exactly say no to the Reaper. He would have killed her immediately. She was trying to protect herself too.

Side B would say to keep in mind that things had gone well for few months...like Irina was getting adjusted to the class and truly seemed like she cared for them. And then she betrayed them...they almost died. That 180 switch in how she treated them...how can they trust her again?? How do they know this won’t happen again no matter what she says??

Both sides have understandable views on the matter. Unfortunately they both feel that the other is either invalidating their feelings...or being plain cruel.

THE SNIPERS ARE SPLIT UP FOR ONCE OOOOOOOOHHHHH. Yeah I bet y’all weren’t expecting that hehehe.

Side A: Irina, stay with us!

Her trusted students: Yada and Kurahashi. They both are fiercely protective of her return to the class and are the most vocal in their opinions.

Terasaka...he was the first one to forgive her in canon and I think that’s very true to his character. After his redemption, he wants to give others a chance...just like how everyone gave him one.

In a similar vein to him, Kayano also knows that she’s far from being a perfect person...in fact the guilt from the tentacles is always in the back of her mind, even if her desire for revenge far outweighs it. She believes it’s only fair to give Irina another chance.

Also similar to both of them is Itona, who also feels weighed down at times by his past actions. He knows he had a rocky start to the class...and so he feels it’s not really his place to just write Irina off. He feels a bit of solidarity between their experiences as well: they’re pretty similar ngl.

Okano, Kataoka, and Nakamura also were some of Irina’s fave students. And although they don’t feel as strongly as Yada and Kurahashi, they are attached to her...and want her to stay as their teacher in the family they’ve built in 3-E.

With Kanzaki...she’s naturally an open-minded person. And in regards to this, I think she could easily find it in herself to forgive Irina and understand why it all happened. She’s good at including every detail, analyzing situations and seeing things from Irina’s point of view. (Haha our literature nerd cutie)

Takebayashi has a similar case to many above: he’s betrayed the class himself (although on a way lesser scale). But he gets it: and he thinks Irina deserves the same kindness that was shown to him.

Maehara and Okajima are both pretty lighthearted and forgiving guys. This situation hits them both hard and they have a difficult time deciding...but ultimately they believe Irina really does care for the class. And that the last months they spent with her meant something.

Kimura...has a somewhat skewed sense of justice, due to personal things (cough his dad cough). And he does A LOT of reflection after everything. And as scary as it was...he decides that Irina can redeem herself. Even though he hates her boob lessons...she’s still his teacher who’s taught their class so much and was apart of their family.

Chiba is a naturally kind and empathetic person. I think once he really sits down and processes what Irina went through, the logistics of the situation, just so many nuances...he can find it in himself to give her a second chance.

Side B: Irina, get out of here!

Ooh, this is gonna catch you off guard. But yes, Nagisa, Sugino, and Hara are anti-Irina. The latter two are kind and empathetic people yes...but they’re also both fiercely protective of their classmates/friends. And in this situation, the safety of their friends would definitely be more important than Irina’s feelings. They’d see her as a threat.

For Nagisa...I think the experience of dealing with 2.0 hit him harder in a different way. He saw how Reaper tried to break Kayano’s ribs. That’s his best friend...he felt so angry and hurt in this situation, WE SAW. That’s why I truly believe Nagisa would be less than forgiving towards Irina, who aided in hurting him and his friends.

Hayami gets hurt in a different way in this situation...she’s gotten taken advantage of and never allowed to express her dissent in anything for SO LONG. And now after finally building confidence in 3-E...she’s supposed to just let their traitor teacher come back?? And act like she’s totally fine?? Hell no, she’s not.

Karma is pretty self-explanatory lmao. He really has a near-impossible time trying to forgive her and feel comfortable in the class again. He’s on high-alert all the time and feels protective over his friends... Like this kid has bad trust issues in general, there’s no way he can ever feel totally fine with Irina again let’s be real.

Okuda was legitimately terrified for her life that night with Reaper. And she never ever wants to feel that paralyzing sense of fear again. She also has a hard time being around Irina again.

Isogai! Surprise haha. There’s lots of angst with this one. The class could’ve died that night partly because of Irina’s actions. And he can’t forgive that easily. Like he has an impoverished family to think about. His sick mom and siblings need him. He’s the main provider at home. If he died that night because of Irina...his family would just break apart. And thinking about such awful possibilities cements Isogai’s opinion that she needs to leave. They’ll be fine without her.

Sugaya, Muramatsu, and Mimura all have pretty much the same view. They were terrified for their lives, are pissed that she did that, etc. They’re slightly torn since they’d like the class to go back to normal but...it needs to be addressed.

Fuwa kinda was brought back down to reality after all that. Like yes it was kind of a cool experience to talk about, like action-packed. But once the adrenaline left, it hit her how much danger she was truly in. Fuwa wants adventure, but not at the cost of her safety or others.

Hazama and Yoshida are on the same wavelength...they’re partly there to support Muramatsu and Hara, and also because Irina leaving is the safe way out. Like logically speaking...the woman is an assassin. She’ll just move on with her life, they’ll be safer, etc. So much more good to come out of it.

Ritsu remains neutral, just like she does in canon.

Korosensei and Karasuma both step back and decide to let the students figure it out, having trust in their decisions...and because it’s ultimately an experience that only the students have shared. It’s not their place to dictate how the kids feel. They both push aside their personal feelings about Irina to focus on the kids, who are top priority.

Irina is...trying her best to keep a cool face. A small deep part of her is on the defensive, wanting to continue to prove herself as a teacher and assassin. But the majority of her understands how they feel and respects that completely. She mentally prepares herself to leave the class and forget the kids forever...even though it’ll be so hard.

#assclass #assassination classsroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #irina jelavic #3-e #ask #feel free to ask me more about this au!#its kinda interesting #to think about all the opposing sides #clownao #irina civil war au

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intothewickedwood · 3 years

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Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 5x11 Swan Song

Wow. Selling your kids into slavery, just wow!

Wait, how did Rumple get the wavy sword. Is that the wavy sword?

I can’t wait for Emma to stop being the Dark One, oh my God.

Wait, why is Zelena so sure the Dark Ones won’t attack her?

Robin, that pointy arrow isn’t gonna do anything against the Dark Ones. 

Why doesn’t Regina just teleport them away??

Aaah! Get away from Snowing!

Henry, run!

Why can’t they just stay away from the ferry?

This was really freaking awful of Dark Hook. I mean, even Rumple would never try to kill all his loved ones as the Dark One. What the hell?! He tried to Orphan Emma and baby Neal and kill Henry, who’s a freaking child!! This was a step too far. I don’t know what the writers were thinking here. The very fact that he tried to kill Emma’s son seems irredeemable. I don’t think a season 1-season 3 Emma would ever forgive that. I don’t even think season 4 Emma would. It’s just unrealistic that anyone would forgive their lover for trying to kill their child and parents, consumed by darkness or not. Step too far.

I think fire and brimstone is worse than the Underworld, unless you’re to be tortured like Hook. Why did Hades torture Hook so much, anyway?

Is that the only time Regina calls him Killian?

They missed such a huge opportunity, not having Regina face her victims in the underworld. It had a good possibility for growth.

It’s weird seeing Hook have power over Regina like that. 

Didn’t Colin say they did it in that carriage? Or am I misremembering? Ah well, I like to think of them having had a few sexual encounters as canon. He totally did it with Cora too.

Oh God, this is horrible!! Her whole damn family! This was beyond cruel to all those involved.

Oh yeah. When Rumple went out back to get Excalibur, didn’t he tether it to himself or something. In that moment he made the decision to become the Dark One again, I think.

How the heck did she know how to find his father? And how mean, making it part of the deal that he kill a parent too. Maybe it made her feel better that way. Wouldn’t it have been easier to control one of her guards via their heart and force them to kill her mother? Or even to control Hook with his heart?

Zelena, baby, you can’t call your kid Pistachio!! Omg. I’m headcanoning Robin Jr.’s middle name to be Pistachio!

Regina really doesn’t like those name options lol.

“The withered knob of that sad old man.” Oh my God!! I’m screaming!!!!

BULLCRAP!! No your memory does not freaking serve because you have to use dark freaking magic to control that wand and your magic wasn’t dark enough!! It’s nothing to do with power or believing in yourself, what the hell?! Regina must have done some dark crap recently to get that thing to work.

Zelena, just teleport away!

Zelena, noooo! Gonna miss her! She made this arc bearable! 

Killian, for God’s sake. Do something! Reverse it somehow!

How does he know that’s not Liam? I guess the straight hair?

He left more than a century ago. Killian is over one hundred years old at this point! I worked it out with the help of Baelfire arriving in Victorian England after Big Ben was created and Killian is at the very least 130 years old at this point in time! The timeline this season has been horrendous!

It’s very weird that that nurse ‘fell in love’ with a sleeping patient she’s never even communicated with and kissed him.

All this for freaking revenge. Leave the Charming’s alone!

I’m sorry? He doesn’t wanna hurt her?? He doesn’t wanna hurt her?? He wants to kill her entire freaking family! How is that not going to hurt her?

He’s doing this to get revenge on Rumple or Emma? Both? He’s saying he owes Emma, well then why doesn’t he just kill Rumple? Revenge achieved! He didn’t have to bring her family into this.

Killian: “And now because of that you get to watch everyone you live die.” Back the hell off!! Rumple had the darkness for years and he never would have killed Belle’s loved ones to spite her! Sure he would have killed her father but never out of spite for the person he loves!

Dark cs is so freaking toxic.

Killian: “Enjoy the time you have left with your family.” Get the hell out! Beyond evil! Nothing angers me like this episode! This was the final nail in the coffin for my love for cs. There was just no coming back from this in my opinion, especially because he acted perfectly normal before he remembered he was the Dark One.

Oh no!

How does Robin know the fairies will take Neal. What if no one thinks to look in the diner and he starves!!

Tbh I need to read an au where Emma raises her brother due to all this, though it will hurt like hell!

Henry: “So this is really it.” Hook (smiling): “I’m afraid it is, lad.” I am going to swear!! This is so unforgivable!

It is kinda out of order that he called his third son Liam after what he did to the first. It does kinda seem like he’s replacing him. 

That felt unnecessary. He just orphaned his little brother! He could have at least have made sure he was taken care of. How did Liam II age so much, anyway? I guess he wasn’t affected by the curse and wasn’t under Cora’s time freezing bubble somehow.

He should have absorbed the Dark One’s into the sword in the freaking first place!!

He did a 180 so fast.

How you gonna kiss him after he just tried to kill your whole family??! This was the first step in their relationship where they would just forgive each other for anything, no matter how toxic and would put their relationship above absolutely everything else, to the detriment of relationships with family. Like, he could quite literally kill her son and she’d probably forgive him.

Thank God! Emma got rid of that ridiculous outfit and hairstyle!! I am gonna cry happy tears for days!!

Aww. Henry called Belle!

Belle to Rumple: “you lied to me again! *makes out with him*. For the first time you were truly selfless.” Wtf Belle?! Did you not outright refuse to leave Storybrooke so you could get killed by a giant bear the other day because it was the ‘brave thing to do’, but then when your friends were in danger it was okay for Rumple to lie to you and tell you to leave? That makes no sense! This is kinda ooc and unrealistic. But then, is it ooc? It’s certainly the quickest she’s had a change of heart. And didn’t you just say you had to protect your heart from him like yesterday? I will never understand this woman. What a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle. Is she on drugs?

She can still hear the dagger!

I don’t get it. Didn’t Excalibur crumble? 

Rumple, why??

That small vile of magic was hella convenient!

Rumple has Emma’s power as well as every other Dark One’s. Wow! 

They are all bananas going to the underworld. Leaving their babies without parents for what could be forever! And taking Henry (a child!) to the freaking underworld where they might never come back and Rumple literally just said it was a place worse than hell, where you’d beg for death!

Fun family trip to hell!

Their feet are gonna get wet.

Emma, you’re still talking like that! Please, I beg of you, stap it!

Hell no. You do not get to take “I will always find you.”!

Thank God this arc is over!! At least the next one’s a little better, I think.

#ouat #once upon a time #ouat rewatch #ouat rewatch 2019 #anti cs #anti-cs #i'm sorry. I had to do it to them. this episode angers me so much

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saiilorstars · 4 years

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Dare To Forget Me

Ch. 21: Birthday Blues

/ Previous chapters /

Fandom: Law & Order SVU

Pairing: Rafael Barba x Original female character

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ` 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

Chapter Summary: Montserrat makes her decision about her transfer and returns to Manhattan on the night of her birthday...the day she'd been dreading so much. Rafael wants to help, part of a way to make up to her for his past mistake, but will it turn out fine this time?

While things with Heba's case had died down, though not with a good ending, SVU gradually seemed to fall back into its normal routine that week. There was only one thing that was still up in the air for everyone to see.

Montserrat was on her way out of the bullpen while Rafael was coming in. He walked on like nothing but despite his efforts to keep going, he came to a stop anyways. He had fresh new thoughts thanks to one Carisi who, for some reason, had gotten the idea that he, somewhere along the way, had developed some feelings for Montserrat. Rafael thought that was probably the moment he ever felt so much anger towards one person. Needless to say, he'd thrown Carisi out of his office with the threat that he better not say such ridiculous things in his face again.

That had been this morning. It was lunch time now which had given him some time to think about Carisi's words, no matter how uncomfortable it made him.

"Montserrat?" Rafael had gone back to the hallway and stopped the detective halfway towards the elevator. She turned back and, for the first time that week, she didn't look like she would kill him on the spot. "I know you're not speaking to me but...I just need to say that I'm sorry. Again. I'm really sorry. I was never owed any of your secrets and...I still screwed up."

Montserrat could immediately see differences between now and then. She had finally managed to control her feelings. Before today, she was furious beyond belief. If this was still before, she wouldn't have heard Rafael out - she'd probably curse him and then leave. But that hadn't been getting her anywhere expect for fueling more rage. For her sake - and for the sake of her blood pressure - she needed to calm down. After all, like she once admitted to her therapist, Rafael accidentally letting her secret out took away the fear of having to do it herself. She hadn't been brave enough to tell the squad of her plans. And now, with a clearer mind, she could straight away see the guilt on Rafael's face.

"I know," Montserrat said quietly, even nodding her head to show she'd heard him loud and clear. The mere fact she'd listened was already surprising for Rafael. "And I'm sorry it took me this long to understand."

Rafael gave her an uneasy look. She was acting too strange, too...180. "... you're not upset anymore?"

"I mean, I am but…" Montserrat drew in a deep breath and sighed, "I'm... I'm leaving for Brooklyn," she instead said, now truly surprising Rafael. "I'm visiting their Homicide division for a few days. I think it's a good idea to put some space between me and everything here."

"Right," Rafael agreed, although he wasn't sure why he would. He didn't like it.

"I should be back on Friday."

"Your birthday?"

There was visible dislike for that reminder. "Friday," Montserrat reiterated. She offered him one small smile then turned to leave.

There was a feeling in the pit of Rafael's stomach warning him that even if Montserrat returned, things would not be the same as before. He didn't quite like that either.

~ 0 ~

Montserrat packed light, after all she was only going to be gone for two days. She argued with Kara probably during all her packing and preparation time.

Kara was relentless that Montserrat was running away from problems. And she was not quiet about it either. "Montserrat Irene Novak, this is the most childish thing you have ever done!"

Montserrat scoffed after shoving in a blouse enter suitcase. "Really? Going to observe a different division is childish?"

"When you're doing it to avoid facing reality, uh, yeah it is!"

Montserrat rolled her eyes and continued moving around her room to get the last of her things into a suitcase. "I promise you, Kara, that I am not running away. I really think some space is what I need to clear my head and maybe get rid of any lingering anger I have. Hell, I think it might even be good for us to have some space. We might end up killing each other."

"I think you're doing things wrong," Kara folded her arms. "And it is kind of scaring me because I've never seen you act like this before."

Okay, that one Montserrat would give to Kara. She was confused herself why she needed to do all this just to be okay again. But the point was that she needed to do this.

"It'll just be for a few days and then I'll be back," Montserrat said with a cheery smile.

"Well, what if you end up liking it there?" Kara frowned for a second. "And you don't want to come back."

Montserrat thought about that possibility and could only shrugged. "Then I like it."

"Montserrat!" Kara whined.

"What?" Montserrat laughed for a bit. "Kara, you and I were supposed to be only temporary roommates, remember? I was supposed to find my own place eventually."

"Well, yeah, but…" Kara shifted on her feet, looking more like a child than an adult right now. "You're my best friend. It's kind of fun living with you."

"Thanks," Montserrat offered the woman a smile. "But I just have to go. I'm sorry."

Kara saw there wasn't no point in arguing with her. She'd made her choice to go, but it didn't mean Kara would stop hoping Montserrat hated the place.

~0~

Two steps into the Brooklyn Homicide bullpen and everyone already knew who Montserrat was. She felt bombarded with all the "hello's" she got as soon as she walked in. There was a moment where Montserrat felt overwhelmed enough to turn around and leave.

"Miss Novak," a tall, older man emerged from the Captain's office. He was already gray on the head but he had piercing green eyes that looked like they could catch anything wrong in a second. "You made it. And I see that my squad has already given you a vibe of our dynamic."

"Uuh, yeah," Montserrat couldn't come up with anything to actually say right now. She didn't like being the center of attention from strangers.

"Captain Delisle," the man held a hand to shake with Montserrat. She smiled and shook hands.

"Montserrat Novak. Can I ask how everyone knew who I was before they even saw me?"

"Simple, you're the only redhead we know in the building," one of the detectives answered from their desk. Montserrat turned to give a strange look, making the man laugh. "Kidding. We know your cousin? ADA Novak? You guys got the same hair."

"Oh," Montserrat didn't know if that was worse or better than the former explanation.

"Alright, Detective Novak is here to observe how we run things in this precinct so let's make a good impression," the Captain said. "Novak, if you'd stay you'd be Mulvoy's partner," he directed her towards a man who'd risen from his desk at the call of his name.

"Jake Mulvoy," the detective introduced himself as he crossed through the desks to shake hands with Montserrat.

"Montserrat," she smiled politely. He looked nice enough, though there wasn't that playfulness Sonny seemed to naturally carry.

"Please treat Montserrat well as she visits us. She might become one of ours by the end of the week," Delisle said playfully then spoke to Montserrat. "We can talk at the end of the day to see how you like it here and discuss other things."

Montserrat nodded and was freed to mingle through the bullpen. She got to know the rest of the detectives, which she immediately could tell would not be like her SVU squad. For one, Detective Miranda Kim was, to put it in simple terms, was a downright bitch. It appeared that Mulvoy's previous partner was Kim's best friend who was transferred to a different department. In Kim's eyes, Montserrat was there to replace her best friend.

Great.

Detective Xavier Lance, Kim's partner, was a somewhat better person. He was tall, had a charming smile, and was kind to newcomers. He lamented their old detective's transfer but was excited for the prospect of a new co-worker. He kind of reminded Montserrat of Nick, except that Lance could be a bit more snippy once you started asking questions about their specific cases. It was as if Lance thought Montserrat was there to steal the cases they were already working on.

"Don't worry about them," Detective Connor Shein brought Montserrat to his desk. He wasn't as tall as Lance but he was still taller than Montserrat. He had nice blue eyes and rather shaggy brown hair. "They're a little more on the reserved side. But they're good detectives."

His partner, Detective Paulina Quell, was a smiley blonde woman that made Montserrat instantly think of Amanda. The only difference was Paulina was taller. And no accent. She came to stand beside Montserrat and placed a gentle hand on Montserrat's arm. "Yeah, if you stay they'll warm up to you."

"Would you like to see some of our cases right now?" Shein asked Montserrat and gestured to the files sitting on his and Quell's desks.

"Sure," Montserrat gave a nod. "It'll almost be like a trip down memory lane since I used to work homicide back in Queens."

"You did?" Mulvoy suddenly asked then exchanged looks with Shein and Quell stopping to glance at each other then to look at the ginger.

"You've been around then," chuckled Quell. "Homicide and SVU? Which one do you like better? If that's not a weird question…"

"Well, they each have their own things," admitted Montserrat. "Homicide you don't know how to deal with live victims which saves you a lot of sleepless nights and standoffs with the victims and their families. But SVU gives a little bit more of a satisfaction because when you do get the victims' culprit, you got the satisfaction of knowing that you got the guy and you made justice for someone who's alive to see it." And as Montserrat said these words, she grew distant with thoughts. SVU, however challenging at times, always brought a different type of satisfaction when they were able to put the culprit away because more than often the victim was still alive to see it happen. They could see the impact they made on the victim. Homicide didn't offer that.

"Do you mind if we ask you why you're thinking about transferring here?" Shein asked quietly. "I mean, you've started making a name for yourself back in Manhattan."

"I have?" blinked Montserrat. That's the first time she heard any of that.

"Yeah, you and SVU as a whole. You guys are pretty good at what you do over there," Quell said and had the agreeing nods from the other two detectives. "I mean, don't get us wrong, we would love to have you on board with us but we're just a little curious why you would want to leave that department that's doing so well?"

"Fair question," Montserrat nodded. "It's just personal reasons. Um, just wanting to see if Homicide is my true calling." Well, she couldn't very well say the truth here could she? Still, the answer was deemed good enough for the two detectives.

For the rest of the day, Montserrat spent her time going through cases with Mulvoy, Quell and Shein, featuring remarks from Lance but absolutely nothing from Kim. She got to know a few of the officers lingering in the office, and most importantly she began to get the feel of the squad as a whole.

"So, how do you like it here?" Captain Delisle asked once they were both seated in his office.

"It's different than what I'm used to now," Montserrat began with, considering it was the easiest things you could say that didn't involve a lie.

"I'm sure it is," Delisle nodded. "I've talked to your sergeant and she doesn't seem like she wants to let you go. But that didn't stop her from giving me good remarks about you."

"Olivia's very kind," Montserrat said with a small smile. "Too kind."

"May I ask why you're looking to transfer?"

If Montserrat was score how many times she'd been asked that question today, she'd probably lose count. It was a fair question, she knew, but it didn't mean she wanted to keep hearing it. It involved a lot of things she couldn't (and didn't) want to talk about.

"I used to do Homicide," Montserrat began with what Delisle probably already knew, "And it was hard, sometimes, to see what we had. The corpses. The way they died. But sometimes, SVU is a little harder. We typically have live victims and...hearing what they've gone through…"

"It's tough," Delisle nodded. "But someone's gotta do it, right?"

Montserrat took those words more to heart than she planned to. "...yeah…" She felt her phone buzz inside her pocket but didn't get it right away.

"Well, we'll see you tomorrow then. Hopefully by then you'll have made your decision regarding where you want to be," Delisle got up to shake hands with her then led her out the door.

As Montserrat checked her phone, Detectives' Mulvoy, Shein and Quell called to her from their desks.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Mulvoy's question didn't register for the first few seconds as Montserrat had focused too much on her phone.

A smile came to her face after checking the new text message she'd received from Rafael.

If you haven't already had dinner, try Morgan's Barbecue. I think you might like. Your type of food I...

"Hey, Novak?" Quell's voice finally broke through Montserrat's concentration.

The ginger looked up from her phone with blinking eyes. "I'm sorry?"

Quell only chuckled. "We were just wondering how'd it go with the Captain."

"Oh, it's fine. I'll be back tomorrow to keep observing. Thank you for letting me do that, by the way. I know it's probably annoying to have some newbie looking over your shoulder."

"Nah, it's fine," Shein assured. "Better to know what you're getting into before you put in your papers."

Montserrat nodded. She looked down at her phone for a quick second then smiled. "Would either of you know where Morgan's Barbecue is?"

~0~

As much as they offered, Montserrat reassured the Homicide detectives that she was fine eating dinner on her own. She was tired anyways so she wasn't sure if she'd even eat inside or just do take out in her hotel.

She had to admit the restaurant was nice, though. Its lights were dim to give it a nightly look, but gave off a relaxing atmosphere from the moment one stepped inside. When Montserrat saw bar right on the side, she immediately pictured Rafael coming in at least four times a week. The stock looked pretty full...and good.

She eventually found herself drifting towards the bar counter after having enough of looking around. From there, she looked at the menu and, to her delight, found that there was indeed many barbecue options. After ordering, she started going through the wine selection and was surprised to see so many options. They seemed to have a lot on whiskey so of course Rafael would know the place.

"Now I know why you came here," she mumbled her thought about Rafael. He could get over the barbecue because of what was at the bar. She was so focused on choosing a drink, she didn't notice someone taking a seat beside her.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

Montserrat, of course, flinched and looked up from the menu to find a blonde sitting next to her stool. "Me?"

The man nodded. "Who else? You're the only pretty redhead in this place."

Montserrat cleared her throat and offered one polite smile. "Thanks, but...no thanks."

"Are you waiting for someone?"

"No, but I'm not interested. I've got...things going on." What things Montserrat spoke about she had no idea, but neither did the man anyways.

"I'm James," the man first introduced himself, giving Montserrat the indication he was not leaving soon. "I come here every week, so believe me I know the best drinks here."

"Well, my friend probably came here everyday so I'll just go with his recommendations, thank you," she smiled ever-so-politely as she got up from her stool and picked up her menu and bag, "And just so we're clear, this is my definite no. Don't need to show you my SVU badge, do I?" her snappiness came as a surprise to James but she didn't stop to see his full reaction as she stormed off to take a seat at the very end of the bar.

Okay, maybe she shouldn't have been that snappy since the man hadn't really done anything except ignore her first 'no'.

One of the bartenders, a woman who looked just a bit older than Montserrat, stopped by Montserrat's new seat to chuckle. Montserrat could see the name 'Elise' written on the bartender's name tag. "Nice one. I don't see a lot of snippy women around here. It's like they're too scared of being mean or something."

"Well, I'm a bit guilty right now, so…" Montserrat admitted.

"Oh don't be," Elise waved a hand to the side. "That guy's in here every night trying to pick up women. And let me tell you-" she leaned an elbow on the counter, "-that he is not interested in dating, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, well in that case, screw him," Montserrat nodded, making the bartender chuckle.

Elise gave an approving nod of her head. "What can I get you, then?"

"Honestly," Montserrat put a hand over the closed menu on the counter, "I have no idea. I'm from Manhattan and, really, the only reason I'm here is because a friend who used to live here in Brooklyn told me I should come here. Though now that I think more about it, I assume he only ever came in here for drinks than actual dinner. Rafael's more of a eat-while-on-the-job guy than actual breakfast, lunch and dinner."

Elise seemed to pause for a second, something Montserrat caught but wasn't sure how to ask about it. Luckily, Elise spoke up after a few seconds of pondering. "You wouldn't happen to be talking about Rafael Barba, would you?"

Montserrat blinked, and somehow nodded slightly. "...yeah...how did you…?"

Elise smiled at the woman's confusion. "You said SVU before and then Manhattan, plus what you mentioned about a friend living in Brooklyn? The name was just a bonus."

"Wow, maybe you're the detective in this conversation," Montserrat tilted her head, honestly impressed by the woman.

Elise laughed for a moment, but Montserrat seemed dead serious which just made Elise laugh even more. "Okay, you're definitely his type."

Instead of snapping like she usually tended to, Montserrat quietly sighed and closed her eyes. "I'm not…" she didn't even bother with the same response. She opened her eyes and came at it from another angle. "Can I ask you something?" Elise nodded her head. "I literally said 'friends' like two or three times so...why would you say something like that to me?"

"What -- the being 'his type' thing?" Elise asked and Montserrat nodded. "Rafael used to come here every night, literally every night, when he worked for the Brooklyn DA's office. So believe me when I tell you I know him very well."

"Were you and him…?" Montserrat found herself asking and when she realized it, she felt a warmth on her face. "Sorry. Didn't mean to ask that…"

Elise just smiled again. "Nah. We just really bonded over what drinks were the best. Though due to his profession I lost almost every argument."

"He's snippy but not impossible to win, believe me," Montserrat said all too proudly. "I've won a few rounds against him."

"I believe that based on how you got rid of that guy earlier," Elise smirked. "I told Rafael he'd meet his match sooner or later. Too bad it's not yet happened, huh?"

Montserrat was more pensive than she would've liked to be. As Elise recommended some of the drinks she thought were good, Montserrat's head was somewhere else - more specifically on someone else.

~ 0 ~

"Okay, just, please change if you get a stain or something," Kara trailed after Sonny into the bullpen, ignoring his looks for her to stop talking and the others' amused smiles.

Sonny went straight to his desk and plopped down, but that didn't stop Kara either. She was a woman with a plan today and she was getting things done. "And you said you'd be out by 7:00, right?"

"I guess," Sonny shrugged.

"What's going on, Carisi?" Amanda just couldn't stop smiling at the pair. "You had lunch for an hour, what could you possibly have done in that hour?"

"Nothing," Sonny scowled, and thankfully Kara was still there to clarify.

"I'm just making sure everything's good for Montse's birthday," the woman smiled excitedly.

"Oh right, that's today," Amanda looked to Fin and Nick, all three realizing it was indeed Montserrat's birthday today.

"Yup! And I'm expecting everyone at eight o'clock today. It's Montse's favorite restaurant," Kara wagged a finger at them as if she were speaking with children.

"Yeah, but, Montserrat's still away in Brooklyn," Nick thought Kara needed a reminder since the woman was probably going detail-crazy. "What if she's not back today?"

"She said she would be," Kara shrugged. "I don't think she needs more than 2 days to realize Brooklyn ain't happening."

"How are you so sure?" asked Fin.

"Because I'm Montse's best friend and I know she's not going to stay in Brooklyn," Kara seemed very sure of herself they almost believed it. "So-" she clapped her hands together, "-we're all set for eight, right?"

"Set for what?" Olivia asked as she'd only caught the last part of Kara's question.

Kara looked back to see her and Rafael coming into the bullpen. She grinned, though, because now she had all of them in one place. "Montserrat's birthday, remember?"

The two in question looked at each other then nodded.

"Yes, what about it?" Rafael was the one to ask.

"What do you mean?" Kara raised an eyebrow. "It's today."

"Yes, and she asked us, many times, not to celebrate it," Rafael reminded her, looking pretty serious in that he'd be following the request.

"But that's what everyone says," Kara rolled her eyes.

"But she means it," Olivia said, internally sighing because she knew without a proper explanation Kara would never give up this birthday party. "And that's what Rafael and I are going to do."

"You're not coming?" Kara's face fell but was quickly replaced with offence. "Neither of you?"

The two shook their heads. Behind Kara, the rest of the squad exchanged confused looks amongst each other.

"It's what Montserrat wanted," Rafael reminded once again but with a touch more annoyed.

"Oh of course you're going to listen to her," Kara waved him off. "You still want to get into her good graces."

"I decided that a long time ago. I don't need your incessant shouting for us to do something Montserrat specifically asked us not to."

Seeing Kara getting actually mad, Sonny shot up from his seat with the intention of removing the stressor - which in this case, unfortunately, was his girlfriend. "Kara, let me take you to your car."

"Fine," Kara said and only because she was on a tight schedule. She let Sonny walk her towards the exit but she stopped at Rafael's side. "But you and I both know that Montserrat would want you to come. And you want to be there anyways."

The glare Rafael was giving Kara wasn't something anyone wanted to be caught under, but Kara just smirked and went on her way rather proudly.

Sonny mumbled a quick 'sorry' to Rafael as he followed Kara out into the hallway. Of course once they were out of hearing shot, he had a go with Kara. "You can't do stuff like that!"

Kara just rolled her eyes while she waited for the elevator to open. When they finally did, Sonny blocked the way inside with an arm.

"I'm serious, Kara. That wasn't okay!"

Kara's eyes flickered to the detective, getting annoyed by the second. "Let me go through, right now. I have plans I can't be late for." With a sigh, Sonny did but he followed her in. Kara pressed the down button then stepped back and allowed a heavy silence to fall on them for a couple seconds. "I'm not choosing to be an ass, you know."

Sonny still lightly sighed. "I didn't say that-"

"-no, but you're thinking it."

"No," Sonny said loudly for it to be clearly clarified. "I just disagree with how you're taking this whole...situation. I don't think it's your place-"

"-my best friend is in Brooklyn right now, thinking about staying to live there!" Kara exclaimed and walked out the moment the elevator door opened again. "I have to do something and, unfortunately for Rafael, he's the only one I can think of who can stop Montse. And you know why, Sonny, so stop pretending like those two are."

"Okay," Sonny put his hands on Kara's shoulders, hoping to calm her down before she left the building. Now that he saw where her mind was, he could help better. "You don't want Montse to leave and that's completely understandable. What's not going to work, however, is you harassing both Montse and Rafael. It's not going to end well and you know that."

"I'm desperate here!" Kara frowned. "I don't want her to leave, and much less run away from someone. Doesn't it feel like that?"

Sonny bobbed his head while he considered the idea. "On some level, sure, but...we can't be 100% sure about it. We'll just have to wait for Montserrat to come back and tell us her decision. In the meantime, let's just make sure she has a nice welcome back party."

"It's a birthday party," Kara pointed.

"Well she didn't want that so let's call it a welcome back party or she might just hurt us."

"Good point," Kara nodded.

"So...we good…?"

Kara's smile said it all. "Yeah." She let him hug her tightly for a few minutes before it was time for her to really go.

~ 0 ~

"Just out of curiosity, will you be going to this party?" Rafael simply could not help himself with the matter. He watched Olivia drop her things at her desk and give him quite a look.

"I thought you were smarter than this," she said bluntly. "Of course not. I respect Montserrat's wishes and I wished everyone else did too." Now it was Rafael's to give her a look. She noticed it after sitting down. "What?"

Rafael tilted his head at her, continuing to stare at her until she shifted in her seat. "You know more than I do."

Olivia raised an eyebrow at him, clearly not getting what he meant. "What?"

"You're the only one actually not going," Rafael continued with his words, letting Olivia wallow in confusion for the next minute, "And that can only mean you know exactly why Montserrat hates her birthday. Like Casey."

Olivia shook her head, doing that noise with her mouth that Rafael had come to learn was her 'You got me but I'm not admitting' noise.

"Casey's also not attending," he said for her sake. "What is it that made you and Casey so trustworthy that Montserrat decided to confide in only you two?"

Though Olivia would never openly admit that he was right, she did turn her gaze back on him. "Why do you sound so bothered by it?"

"No so much 'bothered' as I am tired of this same subject."

"Look, I cannot say anything except what you already know. And what we know is that this party will only hurt Montserrat, and us attending - just as everyone else - will only show that we don't care what she decided."

While that sounded logical, Rafael had to disagree. He didn't say it because there was no point. Olivia knew what he didn't, and no matter how much he asked her, she would never tell him because Montserrat wouldn't tell him.

But there was this idea of his that compelled him to do the opposite of what Olivia and Casey were planning. Sure, Montserrat would hate anyone who attended this godforsaken party, but if he, Olivia and Casey didn't go then she would be stuck with the clueless people who believed she wanted the party. At least if one of them went, they could help her out.

~ 0 ~

When Montserrat entered her apartment, it was a literal twenty minute hug-fest from Kara. Montserrat felt truly loved in that moment, as well as a little claustrophobic.

"I'm just so glad you're back!" Kara exclaimed as Montserrat was finally able to peel her off. "And happy birthday!"

As Kara went for another hug, Montserrat dove to the side and wheeled her suitcase towards the hallway. "Thanks, but...please don't."

"Oh c'mon, don't go to your room," Kara tailed after the ginger down the hallway. "Let's go out for some drinks. My treat."

"I'm not in the mood for it, Kara," Montserrat opened her bedroom door and walked in, along with Kara.

"But it'll be fun! And relaxing! Plus, you can tell me about Brooklyn. You can start with whether or not you'll be moving."

Montserrat sighed as she brought her suitcase to her bed. "I just...Kara, I've said this before over and over...I don't like my birthday. I'd really rather stay in my room."

"Well that's just depressing," Kara folded her arms over her chest. "And I'm not leaving until you say you'll get drinks with me."

"You're being extra childish today," Montserrat took notice. "Who pissed you off today?"

Kara would love to say it was her almost boyfriend but she knew if she did Montserrat would never agree to going out. "I'm a little upset you won't come out with me, that's all."

With another sigh, Montserrat turned to her roommate. "I'm sorry. I really did miss you, though."

A smile returned to Kara's face. "Then c'mon! Let's go out! Couple drinks and then we can come home."

Montserrat nearly rolled her eyes. She knew this 'drink night' was really Kara's surprise party that wasn't such a surprise. She did have to hand it to Kara in that she was persistent and thoughtful. She should be more grateful, she knew, but her birthday still felt...wrong. Like, what was she meant to celebrate? Her rapist was still out there, living his own life, while she had to switch jobs, move cities, make new friends.

But you did have some good times, she thought after a moment.

Yes, she did switch jobs but she did find SVU to be a good place. The city was okay too. And her new friends? Yeah, they were good too. She couldn't deny she hadn't been handed some good things this year but...it was hard to focus just on that when the bad was so...impacting.

"Montse?" Kara was now putting her hands together to plead. "Let's go out, yeah? For a little bit?"

"I'm going to regret this," Montserrat mumbled under her breath before agreeing.

Kara was ecstatic and, to Montserrat's surprise, she already had an outfit in mind for the night. Though after a moment, Montserrat realized she should've seen this coming. Still, she told herself to be prepared for this party and its livelihood she wasn't quite ready for.

~0~

Montserrat's mind raced the moment she stepped into the restaurant. Everyone screamed 'Surprise!' and while they cheered for her and wished her a happy birthday, Montserrat kept a tight smile on her face as she thanked each person. It shouldn't have been that hard considering these were people she liked. There was Sonny, Fin, Amanda, Nick...there was Madison and Caroline. Her father was even there, sans Damian, Gael and his daughters.

"Yeah they're still away on that seminar," Montserrat's father said after giving her a hug. "But he wishes you a happy birthday too."

"Thanks Dad," Montserrat said.

"How does it feel being 30 now?" He picked up his glass of bourbon from the table.

"Honestly, not that great," Montserrat knew that was as much as she could say without lying.

He didn't get it of course. "Yeah, I remember that one. But this doesn't mean you're old, sweetie. Just means a new chapter of your life is starting." Montserrat nodded, listening to his words but as seconds passed by she felt like she had to breathe harder. "Could be that this is the year you finally settle down…"

"Oh, Dad…" Montserrat knew this topic definitely wouldn't help her feel any better.

"I'd like some more grandkids, dear--"

Montserrat nearly choked on her saliva. A certain memory was popping into her mind and it was not letting her breathe easily. As her dad went on and on about new grandchildren, Montserrat started to feel like she was going to drown. Eventually, she just couldn't do it. "Sorry Dad, I gotta go." She turned away and made a hasty stride for the entrance doors. She practically shoved some people out of the way, ignoring their dirty looks, till she could see the doors. Her heart was racing and she honestly felt like if she didn't breathe in fresh air she would pass out.

Am I having an anxiety attack? Montserrat realized this was a possibility. It never really manifested past biting her nails but it certainly wasn't impossible. She had feared her birthday for months and now that it was finally here she was spiraling.

She practically slammed the doors behind her and leaned against them, breathing hard and fast but at least she was outside now. Oh dear Lord help me. She closed her eyes for a moment and focused on just breathing.

"Montserrat?"

Montserrat nearly fell from the door - if that was even possible considering she'd been leaning against it - but got her balance in time. She saw Rafael cautiously approaching her, probably wondering what the hell was wrong with her. "You came…"

"Yes, and I know you didn't want this--" Rafael made a nod at the restaurant where they could hear the loud party going on, "--but I'm not here as a guest."

"You're not?" She leaned away from the door and looked him over. He wore a white collar shirt with a dark jacket and matching pants. "Because you're dressed like one."

"I could say the same about you," he countered with the same accusing tone she used, only his came with a smirk.

Montserrat wore a sleeveless, tight, black dress that hugged her body and ended a bit above her knees. There was a golden necklace around her neck, bringing some attention to her plunging neckline. Her red lips didn't smile nor smirk like they usually would.

"It wasn't my choice," she frowned. "Kara had everything planned…everything."

"You don't look good…" he noted her nervousness, accompanied with a frantic glance at the restaurant.

"Yeah, I'm not," she didn't hesitate to confirm. "I'm, well…"

"Not good?"

"Yeah," she bit her lower lip. She awkwardly folded her arms over her chest. "I thought I could handle it but it turns out that I can't, and if I don't get out of here I'm going to lose it."

Even though it was a quick paced ramble, Rafael followed perfectly. "Do you want to go home? You know that's why I came. I may not know what's going on but I would like to help you."

Montserrat could appreciate that and she would take it. She glanced at the restaurant before deciding she really did need to go. "Let's have drinks. Somewhere away from here."

"Are you sure--"

"--yes," she said rapidly. "Let's go!"

Well, he wouldn't argue with that. She looked like she would chew someone's head off at the first chance she got and he was not putting himself on the line. Luckily for her, he was an expert at knowing places that had great drinks.

Once Montserrat was in the presence of a new, peaceful restaurant she seemed to act more like herself. "Thank you." Her gratitude was so quiet Rafael almost missed it.

"Of course."

The two had sat down at a particularly empty bar counter. They'd already ordered some drinks and were just waiting.

"So you came to this party just to...help?"

Rafael bobbed his head. "More or less. My logic was that I'd be the only one who knew you actually hated the damn party so I could actually help you out."

"Well thank you," Montserrat honestly said, and meant it too. Who knows where she could've ended up if he hadn't shown up. "I needed it."

The bartender passed by to hand out their drinks at the same time. Rafael picked his up first and with a light smirk on his face he said, "Not-so happy birthday to you."

Montserrat chuckled as she picked up her own drink to clink with his. "Sure."

"Thirty is an awful year."

"Really? You still remember yours?"

Rafael rolled his eyes. He took a drink from his glass then set it down to reach for something inside his jacket. "Even though it's not a wanted birthday, I hope you'll accept this."

Montserrat's eyes blinked when he set down a small rectangular black box on the counter. "Please tell me you didn't actually buy something…"

"My mother would kill me if I went to a birthday party without bringing a present," Rafael said and looked dead serious about it too.

"I gotta meet your mother some time," Montserrat smirked for a moment then looked down at the present again. "But, I mean, you shouldn't have. And I know that's what a lot of people say and don't mean it but in this case I do. You shouldn't have because I said I didn't even want a birthday."

"But I'm happy you made it to another birthday. It's a small win but an important one nonetheless. And I don't know what your year was like before coming to Manhattan but I am glad you made it here."

Montserrat blushed against her better instinct. "Wow, didn't think you could say things like that." Rafael frowned for a moment, about to ask what she meant by that when she spoke up again, "... I'm staying at SVU." She rested her arms on either side of her drink.

The sweet smile on her face unintentionally reminded Rafael of a time, months ago, when they had drinks together after working their first case; though now Montserrat had shorter hair and was far more comfortable with him. Whether or not he'd wanted to, he ended up smiling as well.

"What made you decide that?"

"Honestly? It's just not the same as Manhattan," Montserrat shrugged. "Everyone's nice there, but...I like it here."

"I did say Brooklyn wasn't as nice as Manhattan," Rafael picked up his glass again to take a drink.

"Well, there were some things that...were good," Montserrat had a secret smile on her face that grew when she said, "I, uh, went to that restaurant you suggested and wouldn't you know it? I met your old friend, Elise."

Rafael choked on the alcohol in his mouth. "What?" came the scratchy voice a second later.

"Yeah," Montserrat started bobbing her head. "She remembered you and she had a lot of stories to tell."

"Don't…"

"Should we start with June 2012? The day you-"

"-I said don't, Montserrat," Rafael warned. Even the way he said her name had become sharp, but not at all terrifying. In fact, she started to laugh instead.

It didn't stop her from re-telling all the stories Elise had confided in her. And boy was there a few. With each story, it got harder for Montserrat to say it without laughing...until she just couldn't stop.

"And here I thought you went to Brooklyn for work," Rafael sourly said, side-glancing her laughing figure. He had to admit, however, that he preferred this Montserrat over the version he had earlier. She was happier, livelier...just her.

"I did, I did, but-" Montserrat couldn't help it. She just couldn't do it. She brought a hand up to her mouth to cover her laughter, but she had to lean away to get all of it out.

"Happy birthday I guess," Rafael raised his glass to the air as if toasting before taking a last drink.

"Okay! Okay! Okay! I'm done! I promise!" she had to take in a deep breath in hopes of finally calming herself down. "Here, let's switch subjects." She raised her hands to show she was done, or at least that she was going to try and be done. She noticed his present was still sitting on the counter, unopened, and that just couldn't be. "I know what'll help."

"Will it though?" Rafael sent her a hard look that subsided once she smiled again. She really had a knack for that smiling thing. Her nose seemed to crinkle each time.

Montserrat ignored his snippy question, as well as his look, in favor of the present. When she took its lid off, she found a rose-gold necklace inside with a pendant in the shape of a ballerina. The ballerina was in a dance pose - one foot on the other leg - with her skirt outlined with silver stones.

"That is...beautiful," Montserrat gawked with widened eyes. "This could not have been a $20 gift."

"You are not guilt-tripping me for this," Rafael warned, but she could see he was shifting in his stool. She was right.

"I can't take this," she shook her head. "It had to have been expensive. I can't--"

"Well, you have to because I'm not taking it back," he looked her dead in the eyes and told her the same thing with them. "It's for you." Montserrat opened her mouth as if to protest but...there wasn't much to do if he'd already decided against it. "It's for you and your ballet dancing dreams."

The fact Rafael still remembered that she'd once said she'd originally wanted to become a dancer was...it made her feel special.

She smiled so widely it could've cracked her face in two. "Can't believe you remember that."

"I remember everything you say," he said matter-of-factly then smiled for a brief moment, "Even when you're yelling it at me." She chuckled but gave that to him.

"Thank you," she said softly. She drew her hands to the back of her neck and unfastened the necklace she was already wearing. She put it down on the counter and gingerly picked up the new necklace.

"You need help?" Rafael asked her after watching her trying and failing to put on the necklace on her own.

"Please," she said and handed him the necklace. "But don't break it. You break it, you buy it."

"Because I haven't already done that?" He got up from his seat like she did.

She turned away and raised her hair off her back, giving him perfect access. As his hands moved forwards on each side of her neck, she could smell whiffs of his cologne. Each time she smelled it, she remembered she loved it. Get ahold of yourself Montserrat, she berated herself. She always did this. Every time. Without fail. Like it was a--

Rafael's fingers had brushed along her skin. He hadn't meant to, of course, but it was impossible to avoid.

Oh dear Lord. Montserrat felt chills and she really wished she could stop acting like a teenage girl but it was so difficult.

Putting a necklace on someone shouldn't be taking so long, but for some reason Rafael doddled with the task. He could smell Montserrat's perfume from where he stood and each time he did he felt like backing away was out of the question. He couldn't budge from his spot even when he was more than unprofessionally close to her. He'd never stand that close to, say, Olivia? Or Amanda?

But Montserrat was different. She always was. Whether it was her ability to keep up with his mouth or handle his snark, she always had something to throw back at him. It was like she had the perfect talent - the perfect ability - that allowed her to pull the right strings with him. And he really liked it...but it was really wrong. When his fingers touched her skin, he felt her flinch in surprise. Yet when he set the necklace on her and let his fingers stroke down her exposed skin, she didn't shy away from it.

Montserrat turned around to face him and let her hair fall back over her shoulders. "How does it look?" She asked, raising her head to give him a better view of her necklace, though Rafael could see a little more than just her neck.

"...good," he said, sounding like he needed more air. Even his nodding was off. Maybe Montserrat knew why, maybe she didn't...but she probably did. "We...should probably go," Rafael's suggestion went right over Montserrat's head.

"It's not that late, is it?" She stepped closer to him, if it was even possible, and brought her hands to his chest.

Rafael was pretty sure it wasn't late but that's not what he was going for. For someone who rarely felt nervousness, this was probably his worst case. She smelled absolutely delicious, and if he got into how she looked right now...I'm losing it. How the hell am I losing it?

Montserrat smiled sweetly and unknowingly answered his question. He watched her fingers stroke circles over his chest, playing a wicked game with him. His hand suddenly snatched one of her wrists and after taking her second one, Montserrat thought enough was enough. She kissed him.

It was surprising but Rafael wasn't ready to pull away. Her lips tasted of alcohol and when he put his hands on her waist he discovered she was curvy. He wrapped his arms around her, unknowingly reminding Montserrat that, apart from his scent, she loved the feeling of his arms. It was probably the first thing she ever noticed about him. Back when she was his witness, 9 months pregnant, he'd caught her in a moment of imbalance. He was able to once again see the very light freckles under her eyes and she saw the flecks of brown in his green eyes. He was strong, and the way he held her made her feel...protected? She didn't know if that was the right description, but it was close enough. To have him back, like this, was even better.

The two seemed to find their fit with each other in a matter of seconds (which, if they'd been more in-tune with reality, they would've been surprised by). It could've been minutes of beautiful bliss if someone's cell phone hadn't gone off.

Rafael was in a daze as he got to his phone in his pocket. He wasn't even sure if he'd actually answered it but upon hearing Sonny's voice on the other end of the line, reality started settling again. Montserrat watched him with more or less of the same daze in her eyes.

"Have I seen Montserrat?" He repeated what he was being asked. He saw Montserrat silently shake her head, almost looking like a plead. "No. I didn't even go." Rafael scrunched his face for a second, looking like he was getting irritated by the second. "I know what I said, Carisi, but I didn't! Go find her yourself!" He ended the call with that snap and turned away from Montserrat. He pressed his hands on the bar counter and leaned forwards, closing his eyes for a moment.

She recognized the look on his face. It was regret. And it hurt.

"I'm sorry, Montserrat," he apologized quietly. She opened her mouth to respond, but he cut her off before she could say anything, "It's unprofessional. And it's…" he leaned away from the bar counter and faced her once more. He looked her over, wishing nothing more than to have her all to himself.

But it wasn't right.

Least that's what he kept telling himself over and over.

Montserrat, being who she was, couldn't take his words without protest. "You can't tell me this after a kiss like that. You want me like I want you." The fact the words slipped through her lips so easily didn't even faze her at the moment. She'd need a few hours.

"Yes, but it's not--" Rafael forced himself to stop before he got more upset. He took a deep breath in and started again, though he knew he had to keep it short so that he could get the hell out of there without falling back. "It just wouldn't work. Your age, our jobs...the way we are with each other? It just can't."

Montserrat's eyes widened slightly at his words but only briefly before anger started settling across her face. That was the moment Rafael knew he had to leave. He knew if he faced her while she showed clear pain that he caused, he would not be able to leave her. At least with anger he could tell himself she'd hate him and that'd be the end of that. If he was lucky, maybe it would work out that way.

Either way, he didn't know because he finally walked out.

He was right, though, because Montserrat only spent a few minutes in rage before anguish sought her.

#ocappreciation #svu #rafael barba #svu fics #rafael barba fics #svu imagines #oc: Montserrat Novak #fic: dare to forget me

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kurtty-drabbles · 4 years

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Krampus au

N/A: Something short if we´re lucky and based on the idea Krampus punishes those who do or want to do wrong. Here, Logan wanted to kill Scott to get Jean as his lust for the woman went cray cray and well, it is time for Kitty to save his ass...again.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @bamfoftheundead @everykurt

Is not often Kitty has time to enjoy the flowers, so to speak, and breaks like this-where nothing ever seems to happen and time moves slower- prove to Kittu that something big will happen. Lockheed was munching on a slice of pizza when Jubilee enters the office with a certain urgency in her face. And that expression alone proves to Kitty something big did happen and once again she must deal with it.

"Kitty, did...did Logan ever enter in contact with you?" Jubilee asked not beating the bushes and Kitty frowns for a moment and tries to recall the last time Logan called. Nothing comes to mind and she shakes her head as Lockheed is eating another big slice of pizza.

"Oh God!" she said in a nervous tone as her hands are moving in a pattern matching the tone as well. "Look, I was trying to see if he was alright and no one in the X-men saw him. No one in the Avengers saw him and ...I have no idea where he is" Jubilee confessed the last part feeling a bit of fear.

"Yeah, is not exactly his thing to worry everyone...let´s think the options, maybe he meets an old friend, and yes I´m using the term loosely here and is catching up with a said friend" Kitty quote and unquote her fingers on the word friend. Jubilee shakes her head now.

"No, it feels as if he dropped from the face of Earth...and if even the Avengers don´t know where he is...then...I doubt he´s catching up with a friend" Jubilee´s reply did make Kitty worry more.

"When was the last time you saw Logan?" Kitty asked not liking this question and having a feeling the answer will not be great, and once again, she´s correct on her gut feeling as Jubilee sighs in defeat.

"On Scott and Jean´s marriage..." Jubilee won´t give any unnecessary detail but this phrase does make Kitty shiver a little in cringe as she recalled Logan on that day and the man was anything but subtle on his "infatuation" for Jean Grey.

"Ok, I´ll take a look. Do you have the Alpha fight´s contact?" Kitty asked as she knows Logan sometimes likes to be true to his Canadian roots and be with other Canadians.

"Cap Canada? Yeah, not as nice as the country portrayed to be ...but, the man also has no idea where Logan is..." Jubilee replied not happy with the situation as to be expected. "me, Laura, and Chamber are worried Logan did something beyond his usual stupidity...You think Cap Canada is covering whatever happened?"

Kitty nods for a moment. "It wouldn´t be the first time and Cap Canada knows Logan longer than us"

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Logan has two houses. One in the US and one in Canada, and both are identical to the point is almost an intentional joke. Almost. She´s visiting the one located in the US and noticed a few things on her arrival. First, the house looks completely wrecked from inside and outside, second, there´s no light in the house and third, his house has a concerning number of Jean Grey´s photos.

A flashlight and Lockheed on her shoulder make the situation less dire if only a little bit. The cabin truly looks wrecked and she notices how something gets inside and...take someone out. Sabertooth wouldn´t ever be this clean "It would have more blood here...instead of shatter glass" she mutters to herself.

She notices a photo of Jean where Scott should have been, instead, his part was cut by what Kitty use was claws. "again, it was not discreet" she mutters and has a concerning picture in her mind about Logan´s mental state.

She ponders if she should call to the Summers warning about the potential threat of Logan went after the couple-and this is a strong possibility given the number of Jean´s pictures- but for some reason decided against. "They´re in the honeymoon...and maybe Logan didn´t went...for this route" Kitty is speaking with Lockheed hoping to convince her more than her dragon companion.

Lockheed flies in direction of the broken window and points to Kitty the footprints. "Good job, Lockheed, maybe Logan didn´t go for that route after all" she responds pleased and Lockheed is not sharing the enthusiasm.

The footprints are strange. It only appears in one location-and Kitty search for more, but, without any success- and it seems whatever took Logan has a feet with 2 toes.

A snap was heard as Kitty took a photo of this footprint. "Ok, you think another Canadian Lovecraftian took him...again?" Kitty asked her friend who mutters in his dragon´s language and proves his lack of interest in Logan´s well being. "Yeah, you two never saw eye to eye"

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kitty shows the footprint to Illyana Rasputin and Jubilee - Illyana is on her hell witch´s mood and embraces all her demon side and dark powers as well ignoring her brother's complaint about her to return to be a snowflake- and both have a different reaction to this.

"So...a crypt took Logan, is that what you think? It wouldn´t be the first time..." Jubilee states reviving a few stories about Logan and the crypts in his life.

Yana stares at the image for a moment. "Wait, you said he had tons of images of Jean Grey? The woman he lust?" Yana asked as if she´s seeing a missing piece no one can see and this worries Jubilee and Kitty who nods as well...Logan was never subtle in his crush for Jean.

"And so to be clear...it was completely one-sided?" she asked again with a serious tone.

Jubilee and Kitty exchanges looks. Was one-sided? It certainly looks like it was, but, if Jean did 180 degrees and suddenly went to live with Logan...would be a plot twist no one could ever imagine.

"Look" Jubilee states trying to be as kind to the memory of her father figure as possible. "his crush on Jean was one-sided as it can get and I doubt a woman who married her fiance and is in honeymoon would suddenly change her mind and want another man...is Jean Grey, you remember how she was to pick a wedding dress? Yes, I doubt she is with Logan...I doubt she even knows or care Logan carries a torch for her" Jubilee completes.

"I think she knows...I think she knows and doesn´t care...Thought if she ignored him enough...maybe he would move on...and now, I´m not so sure if that was the best idea" Kitty interjected.

"It does not matter...it really doesn´t...Logan was taken by a Krampus"

"WHAT?"

"Creatures that punish the wick...originally, they´re from Germany and Austria, but, nothing prevents them to going after anyone who commits crimes and Logan...must have committed a serious crime if Krampus arrives here"

"And...what we do?"

"Well...if you want to save Logan...how well, do you, Kitty, handle the cold?" and this is a question that makes Jubilee makes tons of questions and rightfully so.

"Why Kitty?"

Yana blinks and explains. "I´m banned from entering his realm. No mortal can enter in his realm without being a victim and Kitty is the one who can enter because she can phase through dimensions" Yana explains and Jubilee sighs in defeat this explanation does make sense.

"And how do I get out?"

"Phashing...but the problem here is not to get in or get out....the problem is if Krampus will let you even see Logan"

Jubilee is not one to sit on any mission. "Look, if you can´t go...do you know someone that can open a portal for us or something? I don´t want to ''not'' rescue Logan...and I hate to feel useless...plus, if Kitty will face a Krampus, whatever that thing is, she´ll need firepower" Jubilee proves her point by letting her hands glow with her mutation.

"Krampus´s home is awfully cold, literally cold. I could try to make a portal...but then the portal would accept only 3 people. You, Kitty and Logan, and even that will still be too risky"

"I don´t care...I´m in"

"As Jubilee said. I´ll need all the firepower I can get"

"And all the luck too"

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Yana is true to her word and created a portal for Krampus´s address and it was just like Yana predicted to be. "So...he torture people here? in this cozy and nice place?" Jubilee asked in a derived tone. "I can´t believe" she concludes in pure sarcasm.

"Yeah...and it seems he´s a fan of cliches because of the creepy looking mountain appears to be looking at them. Yana said he only punishes the wicked and leaves the innocent in peace, so, Kitty and Jubilee have a chance. Small as it can be is still a chance.

A number of glowing golden eyes watched her for a minute and then vanish like it was never there. "Man, why Logan couldn´t move on like a normal person" Kitty chided his poor choices and Jubilee is not defending the man this time.

Locate Logan, once climbing this creepy and cartoonish mountain, was not a daunting task. The man is tied up by chains and shackles and is conscious enough to see Kitty and Jubilee coming to his way. "NO, he´s behind you!"

And Kitty appears to be prepared as she used the soulsword and faces the Krampus as Jubilee goes to Logan in the hopes of freeing him. The Krampus is a blue man-with horns, his fur is noticeable, his golden eyes are full of mischief and his tail makes it present to Kitty- who is amused at her attempt.

"Ah, Kitty Pryde and Jubilee Lee. Here to steal my criminal?" The Krampus states. "have they told you what he planned to do? Kill an innocent man and take the woman as his prize" and this makes Jubilee stop and look at Logan with total disappointment.

Kitty can´t hide her feelings too. "We´re not here to steal anything...we´re here to make a deal with you, Krampus"

The Krampus looks amused. "Kurt, my name is Kurt...call me Kurt would be like me calling you human"

"No one mentioned...ok, hi, Kurt...we´re here..." and Kurt waves off his hand.

"To make a deal...sure, sure. What you and your friend can offer to make me want to let Logan go?"

"Work for you until his sentence is clean" Kitty speaks as Jubilee sighs and nods not happy with any of this and makes Logan be aware of their feelings. The man, for once, looks ashamed for himself.

"Oh...that is new. The council always says for me to take more deals" Kurt mutters to himself. "I take Magik explains how I work, right?" the two women nod. "excellent" his now good mood and chipper tone are a bit unsettling. "is a deal. You two work for me for a year and after that...I release Logan...a deal is a deal and is sacred for my kind"

The man- she has a hard time calling Kurt IT if he acts and looks so humane-smiles and shakes her hand. The deal is sealed and really, Kitty and Jubilee have things to say to Logan.

Meanwhile, Jean and Scott return from their honeymoon to notice Kitty and Jubilee´s absence.

"Yana, where are Kitty and Jubilee?"

"Saving Logan from a Krampus"

"...Sure, ok. Nevermind"

#krampus au #one shot #kurt wagner #kitty pryde #jubilee le #Logan Howlett #anti Jean x Logan

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beholdthishotmess · 5 years

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Reflections on 131 Flesh

I want to start off by admitting that this episode is a clear 180 from what I was expecting. The last few have been divebombing into what felt like a spiral (badum CHING) of despair, and while there’s a bit of awkward painful bits at the beginning here, I actually found this to be one of the most POSITIVE in a lot of ways. And a damn good sign, in the larger episode run, for what is to come.

Starting, of course, with Melanie.

There were three major things that I got from this discussion with Melanie. The first is a sinking suspicion that Melanie could very well live where Tim, the other character who was clearly motivated by rage and anger, ended up falling. And that isn’t a slight on Tim but as much as I love him, Tim died still bitter and still angry. Tim died alone, in every single possible sense, and as we recall the importance of anchors, as we look back on Georgie’s words, and as we think on Literally The Most Important Horror Trope There is...

Never Split Up.

Melanie here has chosen not to go it alone. Even when it’s hard, even when she’s livid at both of the other people here, even when her alternatives to solitude basically include at least two monsters... Melanie has decided to move forward. Melanie approached Jon, after Jon gave her the necessary space, and while she said her piece to him and vented her spleen over what he’d done and how she felt about it, she nevertheless moved to help him and offered him the first bit of actual genuine hospitality and concern that we’ve seen to Jon all season since Georgie walked out.

The second thing I got was that this is when we’re really going to delve into the monsters a little, what it means to be a monster, how ‘human’ they are and how monstrous and where the truly terrifying bits are. Melanie wanted the bullet, Melanie wanted her anger and the power and strength it gave her (supernaturally and normally) but she also became very well aware only after it was removed that the anger and the ‘strength’ it gave her was a double edged sword. The anger ‘powered’ her to make Ghost Hunt UK but it was also anger that destroyed it in the end. Her anger was the perfect tool until it ‘slipped out and hurt someone’ and now she’s ACKNOWLEDGING it. She acknowledges what the bullet gave her but she ALSO acknowledges that it was a crutch. She was USING it just as it was using her. And while it was helpful and it felt good, that doesn’t make it a good thing. (I’m reminded just a little of one of my favorite TV shows, Crazy Ex-Girlfrlend, and how they used the phrase ‘like glitter exploding inside of me’ as a sign that a character had an unhealthy obsession).

And, of course, the third is that Melanie is kind of done with the blame game. Last season, any chance Melanie got, she threw her presence into Jon’s face, and just at the beginning of this season, she was more than willing to use Tim’s death as a weapon against him. But whenever Jon tried to start ‘fixing’ things or seeing a bright side, she shut him up. She didn’t want his comfort but she also wasn’t letting him take any blame or guilt from it. When he tried to assume THAT, she was just as quick to snap back at him. YES, Jon made a choice and YES, it had consequences. But the most important thing came back around to where it left them then and what they were going to do and the fact that right down to it, all they have is each other.

I absolutely loved her and Helen as well. And just, Helen in general. Which brings me to my next point.

Namely that Helen refuses the dichotomy of human vs. monster that’s been terrifying Jon for the last season or so. She is Helen and she is different from the Helen who she was, but she’s also still Helen. She’s making her choice to help the Archives, making choices about what she wants to do and who she wants to be and clearly who to make friends with. She won’t allow Jon to put her in a box or a category and she won’t let Jon do that to himself either because They Are Lies. Instead of the breezy reassurances of Elias asking ‘what is human, really?’ we got instead the cold hard fact that backs up Jon’s own words: he feels different but he doesn’t know where the differences begin or end.

But that’s true of ANYONE. Every day, we’re constantly changing and growing and our experiences make us different people. We’re NOT the same person who went to sleep the night before and we’re not supposed to be. Jon’s so worried about losing who he is if he becomes a monster without realizing that one might not be the result of the other so much as Some People Are Willing To Take Any Excuse. And even for those needs that are part of their purpose (like Michael mentioned in earlier seasons) is it scarier or less scary when monsters have very human, very understandable grudges?

Jude killed a man and ruined his life while she was still human. HUMANS kill people and ruin their lives. And she spared Jon’s life because she felt indebted to Elias over a very HUMAN love for Agnes and a visceral appreciation for the fact that Elias killed Gertrude.

We’ve just had three pieces of information recently drop on us to make us SERIOUSLY consider what kind of person Gertrude was (willing to kill an innocent woman and victim who might have seen her? Jan Kilbride?) and she even seemed to delight in it a little even though who knows how many of the Flesh’s ‘assistants’ were there willingly or not. Gertrude was practically giggling about her explosives and making smirky comments about Lucia’s nightmares no longer bothering her, meanwhile the one person we know (confirmed) that Helen’s ever tried to kill she felt awful about. We don’t know if she’s tried to eat anyone else OTHER than Jared. Who’s to say she has?

What is a monster? What ISN’T a monster? And how easy is it to look at what fears (literally) can make us into and use them to excuse monstrous behavior. How easy is it to look at the world and say ‘well, I did it because that’s just what I am?’ as opposed to acknowledging that you’ve always got something of a choice. Being different than you started, having powers, being 90 degrees from normal... is that really what makes a ‘monster’ or is it just an easier excuse?

This was backed up by Jared “Fuck your Ritual” Hopworth who likes the world as it is. Who had no interest in changing things, and who’s even found some less horrific ways to practice his craft (look, the gym was terrifying, but the people there WERE actually happy, like, it’s fucked up no lie but he Wasn’t Actually Murdering People). Who yeah, is a violent serial killer, no excuses here, but he’s a violent serial killer in the sort of almost mundane way that makes him bizarrely more interesting.

There’s a lot of interesting lore things going on here, the rib bit definitely making me curious as to what our Archivist is going to end up looped into, and we’re probably going into the coffin next week because apparently 12 episodes is when a new season decides to throw us a curveball but I also think this episode had a lot of interesting shit to say about monsters and people and a reminder that these things aren’t pure ‘evil’ so much as about ‘fear’ and how that context can make for some interesting changes in the understanding of how they interact with human beings as the plot progresses.

#tma spoilers #the magnus archives #tma 131

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inevitably-johnlocked · 7 years

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Just random queastions. 1.) Do you think, that they maybe changed their mind after the reaction to the withanaccent-interview and felt so insulted, that they decided, to not make Johnlock canon after all? 2.) The tarmac-scene has some big similaritis to a scene in DW (don´t know what to say; question about the future; last chance to say "it") and is just built up like a love confession-scene. Do you think that maybe TPTB didn´t notice this? Or really thought it was funny? I´m so confused... tbc

3.)Benedict seems to be such a nice person (I love Martin even more, but he is not so outwardly caring.) etc. and i just can´t imagine him agreeing to queerbaiting? (I find most of "TJLC-Evidence" not very convincing, because I would also die etc. for a friend, but the tarmac-scene is imo queerbaiting/almost love confession. They HAVE TO notice what the scene implies!?). 4.)They always say it is their show etc. and that they don´t care about critics, do they really think of themself as SO GOOD?

5.) They said, that ACD did a mistake with Mary. Why do they do the same? I completly hate that dog-comperison/Mary-is-better-scene (TST is my least favoruite episode). It had to be a active descision to give Mary the narration over John ( THE ACTUAL NARRATOR!). They can´t just ignore all the terrible things they say about Mary and make her some angel asassian who saves John/Sherlock and is better than everyone?! And she is there the WHOLE TIME! She killed Sherlock! Why? Why? Why? For Amanda???

6.) There is that Amanda Abbington-Interview where she talks about coming back. Do you really thing that we´ll maybe have to see Mary-flashbacks/callbacks in every new episode? 7.) Prior to season 4, they said that they have 3 new cases etc., but in the end it wasn´t really like in season 1-2 (season 3 actually was my favorite season, but it clearly was different). TST and TFP ended in family drama. Do you trust them to go back to "normal" cases, without the need to over complicate everything?

8.)Do you think, that they maybe change their mind "pro-johnlock"(if it really was just a joke to them), after critics like Indiewire etc. called them out for the queerbaiting/John and Sherlocks feelings for eachother? That maybe they´ll realize that it´s not just "teenager girls" "hallucinating"? 9.)Do you believe in a season 5 (especially with BC as DS now)? 10.)Will we ever know, what John wanted to say in TRF? 11.)With TFP i wonder,do they truly believe we watch the show for the plot twists?

Oh Wow, Lots of stuff to get to here! Let’s have a look-see!

Well, that interview would have had nothing to do with any of their decisions; if a journalist had that kind of power in the history of Sherlock ever, then it would have been canon in S2, or ahdblock been canon in S3, or sher/0//ie canon in episode one. Like... no, and that interview was garbage anyway. Anything that Mofftiss have done, is COMPLETELY on them and MAYBE the BBC. They were already filming TFP, I believe, around that time frame, so no, it had no bearing whatsoever on the outcome of the series.

Ah, yup, Doomsday’s Bad Wolf Bay and the tarmac scene are pretty much identical (and just as painful), yet no one argues what The Doctor was going to say. But years later, we STILL have to prove to people that Sherlock indeed was going to and did tell John that he loved him. It drives me crazy. Mofftiss knew EXACTLY what they were doing, especially since the scene has parallels to the tarmac scene’s unspoken love in Casablanca. They did it on purpose; it’s even framed similarily to that tarmac, and the wording similar to Bad Wolf Bay. Just... They can’t seriously expect us to not believe it wasn’t meant romantically.

Well, to be fair, I don’t think EITHER OF THEM wanted to be part of a giant queerbaiting fest. They both seemed immensely proud of their portrayals of their characters, Ben AND Martin played both of their characters gay and bi respectively, and BOTH men support LGBT causes and Ben is vocal against homophobia (I’m pretty sure Martin is as well, I just know Ben’s interviews better). I really honestly believe that they thought they were creating something different and were led to believe a different outcome of their character arcs than what we got. I don’t fault them at all – they are just puppets for the puppetmasters.

Oh, they’re lying so hard about their lack of caring... If they didn’t care, Gattiss wouldn’t have written back, in prose, to a critic and Moffat wouldn’t be like “I don’t understand why no one likes this season” (paraphrasing, of course, but his blasé attitude is SO annoying and pretentious). Neither of them have really, otherwise, done anything but remain in hiding after the fallout of S4. It’s both suspicious and really REALLY annoyingly petty.

Yeah, I STILL am reeling over their complete 180˚ of Mary’s character. It makes no fucking sense; they clearly were combining her character with that of the role of Sebastian Moran in ACD canon, and the arc was going to be brilliant. I have a lot of personal very biased opinions on why they did it, but yeah, it doesn’t make any fucking sense. THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING with her character. That and Moffat is terrible at writing women characters at the end of their arcs. If anything, her character was just unnecessarily shoehorned into a bigger role because they decided last minute to NOT make her Moran after all even though they STILL tied her character to Moriarty in S4. ACD did WAY better with Mary as a background character. And YES, it was SO WRONG of her to be the narrator, just... NO she’s NOT the one telling the stories. Ugh.

Ugh, is there? Okay, look, IF – IFFFFF – it’s shown in S5 that all of S4 was a ruse orchestrated by mostly her hand, reverting her character back to where it should be, THEN maybe I can accept her back in the fifth season and make her the badass villain she was SUPPOSED to be. I don’t believe she is dead because her gunshot was fake af, although I do ALSO believe that she may have been killed John in the false narrative scenario. If she comes back, it will be to explain her true actions in S4. Otherwise, she’s dead, we don’t need to see her anymore. Flashbacks maybe, but that’s it.

S3 was my favourite season too, but I think that’s a personal bias because I love Sherlock’s character so much and I loved seeing how far their relationship arc progressed. T6T and TLD barely even HAD cases... and TFP, I don’t know her... so I don’t know where this idea came from. The whole season seemed intent on keeping John and Sherlock as distant from each other as possible, making Sherlock the sidekick TO MARY in his own show, and putting “no one asked for this” focus on Mary. Look, I know it sounds like I hate her, but I REALLY DON’T. I hate what they DID TO HER CHARACTER, and trying to call S4 a case-centred series when CLEARLY the case was a moot point in the first episode to Mary-backstory, it’s ridiculous. There wasn’t really a case in TLD – Sherlock was high off his rocker through most of the episode and Culverton did his weird creepy rapey thing. And I don’t even know what the fuck case was happening in TFP. I WANT to trust them to go back to Just The Two of Them Against the Rest of the World (what was that line even, then?!?!), but I fear that they won’t and will find a way to shoehorn another character-we-don’t-care-about *coughs* Eurus*coughs* into the story.

Oh, I don’t think anyone could change Mofftiss’ minds. Look, if Johnlock DOES become canon, it will be because it was the plan all along, but because of how far S4 strayed off the narrative arc, it will look like they did it because of public outcry, NOT because it was their brilliant plan. They should have just stuck to the narrative rather than try for a publicity stunt that will probably work against them in the end.

Tough to say about S5. There are reports about it being already commissioned, but I fear the negative reception may keep Martin and Ben far away from it if it turns out it really is a face-value series. I don’t know. BBC seems proud of what they got, so probably will get one. It’s one of the BBC’s top-rated shows (I think pre-S4 it was higher than Dr. Who), so who knows.

Hahaha nope, I don’t think so. I USED to think we would, that Mofftiss were better writers together and would at least round out all the plot holes, but... S4 leaves me skeptical on a lot of things.

I REALLY do think that they think we like the plot twists rather than the stories. Like... no. People were watching for the relationship, whether they knew it or not, platonic or not. The story of two men with the greatest friendship / relationship of all time. Not for ... whatever the hell TFP was.

Whew!

#steph replies #the mary problem #mofftiss #s4 shitposting #tfp shitposting #my thoughts #long post #s5 and beyond #johnlock #intertextuality #sherlock vs doctor who #sherlock vs casablanca #tarmac scene #Anonymous

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survivorunfinishedbusiness · 6 years

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Episode #9 - “I am COMING FOR YOU, dumb man” - Nicole

https://survivorunfinishedbusiness.tumblr.com/post/175968850213/merge-idol-system

https://survivorunfinishedbusiness.tumblr.com/post/175969514478/individual-immunity-2

Late Merge Cast Assessment: http://youtu.be/3gvxvXGLtLk

What in the actual fuck just happened????? So the second Dani used her legacy advantage I had Jake messaging me saying he knew and he made a move to try and get Julia out. Once tribal ended Anna also said she knew. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS NOT TELLING ME THIS SHIT! Like I feel stupid because I would have voted Julia out, but apparently they don't trust me enough to tell me, but I have to act like everything is okay and that I am fine with it. Also, what does Dani have with my ass, like stop talking about it and maybe talk to me before trying to say shit about me. She keeps saying I should get my torch "bluffed" which is not the right word so...she smart. Hopefully with whatever the new idol system is she won't be able to find anything and we can send her to jury because she is not welcomed here anymore and hasn't been for a while.

I lost all hope today

Um okay so yeah I kinda did that... An hour before tribal, Dani tells me that she has the idol and wants to do a split 2-2 vote with Bodhi and Julia. Um, I like Dani and Bodhi, but don't trust Julia. Then I get added to the chat last, and they push for Kevin to go!!! No way. Like it's hard because a lot of people seem to like or trust me but I feel like I need to stay loyal to Kevin and Anna since they were my first alliance in this game. I knew that this would be the perfect opportunity to take Julia out because she has so many connections. So I went to Anna and Kevin and told them about what was happening and they agreed with voting Julia out! So to cause the least amount of drama, we kept quiet until drama. Julia went home and... um Dani popped tf off on me. Like yeah, I fucked over Dani and Bodhi and I do feel bad about it because they trusted me. I'm sorry guys, I wish I could make everyone happy but with Dani causing so many waves and Bodhi not talking to that many people, I can't risk ruining my game to save them, especially when I've been closer to other people. Me voting with them and causing that 2-2 split vote would have hurt my game more down the line, and I really do think that this was the best move. The only negative part is the fact that I didn't tell anyone else, which could hurt me. But I just gotta explain what I did to everyone and keep going. Also Julia if you read this later on, that wasn't a personal move, it was simply strategic. I truly felt like you have the most connections in the cast and that you did not trust me, taking you out later would be a tough challenge for me.

https://youtu.be/digZc7uZyzM

OK FUCK YOU GUYS FOR VOTING OUT JULIA! I AM SOOO MAD I AM GETTIN REVENGE! JAKE PREPARE TO DIE U LADY BUG! AND ANNA OMFG BITCHHH WHY TH FUCK U DO THAT OMG I WANTED TO LIKE U SOO BAD BUT UR S SKETCH FOR NOT TELLIN ME THE PLANN! LIKE DAFUQ... ughhh i still want to work with u soo bad but ughhh ur gonnna win if u dont get out! AND OMFG KORI I DONT HAV TIME TO TALK TO U RIGHT NOW AND U INQURING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED AND LIKE USING PROPER GRAMMER I CANNOT IT IS KILLING ME MY GOD. this whole tribe is crap i ahte them all and trust no one. i only like john now. DANI OMFG GIRLL IM TRYIN TO WORK WIHT U BUT UR SOOOOOOOO MOUTHY U GET UR ALLIES IN TROUBLE WITH UR BIG MOUTH! ME AND JULIA AND ITS AWFUL I JUST UGHGHHGGH

I still can't believe last night happened.... Like...we made a move... We...did something. I really love our alliance and I love that Anna is back. But a group of 3 among a group of 12 is easy to be picked off. I think Dani should go next. Or I want her to go next. But someone already found the fucking merge which like what the fuck, so we have to tread carefully. If I had to guess... I don't know, I would guess Ryan has it? That man knows everything about editing the wiki so I feel like he could easily find it. Especially since whoever found it did it in the span of like. Two fucking hours. Fuck them. Also John is apparently ~awake~ I guess because getting votes alarmed him. I told him the tea and I think he wants to work with my trio, he says he likes all of us. And clearly we're expendable to Dani and Bodhi so like...bye bye!

https://survivorunfinishedbusiness.tumblr.com/post/176000696418/individual-immunity-results-2

The one chance I had to save my ass was BLOWN into the wind. I am SHAFUCKED.

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I was one point away from winning immunity again (depending on the answers to the tiebreaker). Hoping people don't notice that too much though because I don't need to be seen as a threat. Either way, I think the plan will be Dani again, because knowing her competition record in this game, I doubt she got the merge idol. I really want an easy tribal after the one last night because that was too extra.

Ok, so a lot is going through my head right now. Apparently Bodhi is targeting Anna so she wants him gone this round. Bodhi is with Dani, and Dani is not good for my game, but honestly I don't want Bodhi gone yet. Anna is good for my game because she is a bigger target than me and she trusts me. But also, she is good at challenges and is working with Jake who is running the game. I need to be closer to Jake than she is and while I'm not sure if that is what the end result would be if I vote her out, it could be worth the chance. I just don't want to make the same mistakes that I did in Himalayas where I let someone else make all of my moves, with this, I am making my own move by taking a chance with my game that is risky and could put a target on my back, but shows that I can make a move. After the vote I could talk to Jake if he realizes I switched and say how I thought she was being shady to me and what not (it could help to lie) and that she is a really big threat because she is smart and so many people like her and it seemed only Dani was targeting her. But if I switch and Anna stays then I could be fucked...but I could also blame it on Kori. What sucks is, if I had won immunity I would be questioning this a lot less and making the move because it wouldn't be able to backfire on me for this tribal.

Oh Bodhi's real fucking cute, huh. He's really trying it!!! Little Bodhi took a fucking nap in the second swap, not even bothering to talk to me, and then at merge he FINALLY responds, he comes to me all cute and all "omg lol i'm such a flop" yeah you sure fucking are! 24 hours after that he and his ragtag rat gang decide I'm expendable for the sake of drama and that dumb plan falls apart. But little Bodhi's still coming for my head!!! Now he's saying Jake Anna and I are in control. We are literally three people in a group of 12, we are not controlling anyone dumby. I'm sorry that you're so obsessed with me, like I hope you seek help about that but please stop targeting me. Im fucking eleven so shut the fuck up. Ugh I'm PISSED but thankfully i don't think he has connections so voting him out should be easy peasy lemon squeezy. Im literally a social flop leave me alone

Okay so it's been a minute but I'm back in the game. I think I really screwed up my game by going on vacation but I do not regret it because vacation was AMAZING. But, now that I'm back I heard that Jake and Bodhi are tryna get me out after getting out Julia. Well, I'm not going to let that HAPPEN. Bye bye Bodhi. I am going to be online all day drowning my sadness of no longer being on vacation and I am COMING FOR YOU, dumb man. I will get you voted off.......or I will get voted out but, hopefully the first one!

Woohoo! First time being immune in Athena and it feels sooo good. Especially with this messy tribal! So after immunity results, Dani did a 180 and went from cussing me out to saying that she’s alone and thinks it’s best for my game to use her as a number and shield, which I agree with. She was pitching to target Anna and Timmy, but I deflected that and told her that we should vote out Kori because he’d be easier to take out. She agreed and said that we could get Ryan, Blake, John, Bodhi, and Nicole. Things are calm until Anna and Ryan tell me that Bodhi told Ryan that me/Anna/Kevin are running the game and need to be targeted. Um? Bodhi, don’t call for me unless I send for you please. This makes me not want to try to help him out now. Anna is considering splitting the votes between Bodhi and Dani in case of an idol. Bodhi comes to me this morning and tells me that he wants to vote out Nicole which is even MORE confusing. These bitches are messy, I’m not sure where the votes are falling or where I even wanna vote right now.

why Dani why can't you listen to one thing i say! WHEN I SAYYY DONT TELL ANYONE THIS LIKE NOTHING AT ALL THAT MEASN SHUTUP! OMG DANI I LOVE U BUT UR GAMEPLAY THIS TIME AROUND IS AWFUL! if u seriously wud of done nothing and been going about ur day u normally wud u wud hav a huge chance of stying tonight but here u go again fucking urself and messing this shit up like wtf... dud why cant u listen to me its infuriating. i dont think i can help u anymore just everytime i tell u a piece of information u fucking leak it into two seconds! and then it gets back right to me that u opened ur mouth. u r making this o hard for me.

I'm about to tara this Final 5 im idoling Anna out and then ima go to f3 wiht two goatier ppl than me (lookin at u nicole and kori <3)

Welp. Jake's immune tonight, and the names are flying everywhere, with Mine, Dani's, Bodhi's, and Nicole's just floating around. I have to hope people are being honest with me, but if I'm being serious and realistic, it doesn't look too good for me overall. Anna was also suspicious I wanted to vote her out, and I mean yeah eventually I will but not right now. I suspect Dani since Dani also told me Anna would vote me out in a heartbeat, but for some reason I have a hard time believing that. Of course I've been lead astray before, last season I was with Ally 100% and she totally back-stabbed me, so we'll see if Loyalty is my downfall again. On the plus side, finished that merge boot/first juror unfinished business. Now I just gotta somehow survive tonight to beat my previous placement of 12th place.

Dani i love you sooo much but u are making this game hard for me :( i hope u stay but if u r majority... im sorry

Honestly I'm kind of hoping for a tie. Would make things really interesting. Although I think that the vote is going to be something like 8-4 with the 4 being Dani, Bodhi, Nicole, and Blake. I can see them possibly getting Isaac but that's it though so it probably won't be a tie. Although if Bodhi does go, that's not bad for my game so woo.

Well it looks like Bodhi could be fucked if he doesn’t have the idol. And if he does have the idol then I want him and Dani to vote out someone I don’t trust, like Kori or Nicole. Preferably Kori because I think he’s well connected with John and Blake and will be a problem for me later on. I wanna tell Bodhi to play his idol if he has it but like I also don’t know if I trust him after I heard he was talking shit about me to Ryan. Regardless, I just don’t want Bodhi going to Ponderosa pissed at me. I need to keep my jury management in mind.

So I got absolutely nothing for Touchy Subjects and I was debating whether or not this was a good thing or not and I think right now that it’s great. No one sees as a threat and everyone is going after the bigger targets within the game and I think we should just let them rip each other apart. I’m a very opportunistic player so when the time comes to make moves I plan on rocking the boat but as of right now I think it’s best to keep my head down and watch the fireworks.

Hey ladies it seems we might have a curvy spined mastermind. Idk how he’s doing it but Jake is able to discern where the majority lies in this vote which is something nobody else has been able to do which gives me 2 options: Option A Jake created a majority against Bodhi to protect Nicole oR Option B Jake has a social game for the Gods. Either way he’s a threat and I’ve got my one good eye on that binch

Girl I thought Jake was joking about the curved spine but that binch got scoliosis. Sorry rip.

ok so there is a lot going on. after that last tribal anna and jake both explained they needed julia gone because dani had an idol and blah blah blah whatever...i love julia...but she was in an alliance without me so its not the worst thing to happen...so now i have everyone being boring and wanting dani out....but i fucking love dani.....so i was on call with bodhi last night and he basically wants to shake things up...and i agree....but i dont see that happening if there is no drama....so i take everything he says about anna and jake and i tell both of them...which makes anna go into a downward paranoia spiral...so good...now im completed phase one....so now the names of dani kori nicole and bodhi are all out there for the vote...my goal is gonna be to pass along information to everyone so that it just causes chaos...cause if bodhi and dani stay thats so much more drama and i love it...sorry i had to do this to you bodhi but i used you and your plan to do what you wanted...just not in the way you wanted it to happen

Jake and Anna are way more competent in this game than I am. I'm gonna ride out this alliance for a little longer, but they need to go. If I went to the final 3 to them it's clearly 0 votes third place for me. I think I could use the tea they said about Ryan and Timmy to my advantage. They and John fear those two because they're good at challenges. Luckily for me Ryan came to me before the merge about sticking with the challenge beasts. I'm just not sure when's the right time to strike. Or with who. Like say it's that 3. Who do we get on board? I think John's sticking with Anna and Jake. I could probably get Dani on board... I think if I wanted to pull this move off, I'd have to get down and dirty and expose my alliance with Anna and Jake, to give people an incentive to vote with me. That's for the future, though. Tonight, it's Bodhi or Kori. I wanna keep Kori around. I think I have enough tea that Kori could be useful. Because Jake was the one who suggested splitting on Kori. So I have to PRAY Bodhi doesn't play an idol, because I want Kori in this game. Hmm I'm thinking many steps ahead which can be dangerous because I don't wanna have tunnel vision in this game, I wanna keep my mind open and with the flow. We'll see how the turns table...but I'll be one happy boy if they table my way...

Dear lord please save me tonight. DEAR LORD PLEASE SAVE ME TONIGHT I HAVE A LOT MORE FIGHT IN ME. I NEED TO STAY GOD PLEASE.

WELL right now im like playing lowkey sorta lol. i want eveyrone to see me as like dumb and dependent on them so they will think i need them for the later game and they see me as a number for them and as a friend. Right now im on eveyrones good side i believe. Like i dont think anyone wants to see me go home right now. But ass of rn im planting seeds of distrust against Jake so later in the game ppl will be more willing to vote him out. My strategy rn is to continue laying low being on everyone good side go with majority and wait for the big players to attack one another. after that ill take out the remaining big player (hopefully i make it that far lol) then me and some goats will go to the finals :D

God I forgot Isaac was in this game!!!! Lmao. I'm gonna write this down just to...formulate a plan. Anna and Jake - both big threats. Anna has the hero thing going on for her, Jake's in the middle controlling the game. John - seems to be on the Wig ship, but like kind of a stowaway Timmy and Ryan - so called scary challenge beasts. John and co don't trust them. That's ammo I can use to sink the wig ship. Kori and Isaac - these were the two people Jake and Anna wanted to split votes on this round. That can also be ammo. Dani - crazy queen who wants to clock Anna. Probably pissed at Jake Bodhi - hopefully dead by 8 pm EST Nicole - she's here too Blake - he's kinda a question mark for me, at least I personally don't know where he's at but i'm honestly just not paying enough attention sksj So... If I wanted to take down the Wigs, I could use Ryan and Timmy. That's 3. I could maybe get Isaac and Kori. That's 5. And dani? God do I really want to use Dani? But that would make it 6. I don't think final 11 is the best round for this move. But if the Wigs target someone I wanna keep around, a bitch just might have to flip earlier than expected. And if I hear someone's targeting one of the wigs? A bitch just might have to jump on board.

SO i got one vote last round Turns out it was from Bodhi. He Julia and Dani tried to split the votes onto me and Kevin, and tried to get Anna and Jake to join them. Anna and Jake are my peeps so they made sure I wasn't the vote and got Kevin to vote out Julia. Jake said it was because he knew he could trust Julia which I knew already, and I probably wouldn't have been down for it. I will say that Julia being out of the game isn't the worst thing for me even though we were good friends in this game and was probably my closest ally. Dani told me she wanted Kori out, and I really do like Dani, but Kori is somebody that I have been working well with. So I immediate told him I had his back. Anna told me that she wanted Bodhi to go this round and that would be my first choice too so YAY. The entire day I have been talking to people and making sure that they are also wanting this to happen and now it seems to be majority?? Let's hope so If he plays an idol I'll die

https://youtu.be/-lkkcKJhnLI

https://survivorunfinishedbusiness.tumblr.com/post/176036989118/merge-tribal-council-2

Bodhi is voted out 8-3-1, you can find his preseason interview here.

You can see how his thoughts as a juror changed below:

#writeanewchapter #episodes

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saiilorstars · 4 years

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Dare to Forget Me

Ch. 21: Birthday Blues

Fandom: Law & Order SVU

Pairing: Rafael Barba x Original female character

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

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(Previous chapters)