#trigggers
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I was rummaging through my wip folder and found a bunch of unfinished things I wanted to share with you (details under the readmore).
My commission info
❶ I wanted to do a quick ref for the UM gang but ended up not finishing it. I think I chipped my tooth on Misumaru bc I wanted her to be a walking geode (much like Eiki) but I had no idea what to do with the colors. Pun not intended btw. That Takane is my favorite I think.
➋ Concept of Chimata where her design would change based on the sky she's currently under. I decided to add like. cloud themed frills? And the red buttons and stuff that holds her cape together look like a dragon flying through the clouds.
❸ Monstrous Rinnosuke ref. This was based on my theory that he's Hakurei no Kami. He's a half-youkai so I went "oh what if he was a chimera cat but in a half-human-half-cat-way?" so this happened. I needed to model him in Blender to wrap my head around how his face would work. I still failed lol. I think the kami and abstract kami designs of his are a little too ambitious but what am I if not over-the-top.
❹ Another monstrous Orin (the third one despite the fact that I dislike her solely because she gatekept my 1CC for 3 months). This one is my favorite though, I really went off with this design. I wanted to put Okuu behind her, Koishi on top of her head and Satori being done with this shit in Orin's wheelbarrow, but everyone else was noticeably less well-drawn and also the colors didn't fit well, also the image ended up being too busy... yeah this wasn't going to happen in this form so I cut out the only thing I liked about it. This cool as fuck Orin.
❺ This was going to be a single poster with two halves. The concept was to make an opposites illustration with Okina being the savior of monsters and Eiki being the savior of mankind (this is based on their mythological origins). Then I ended up realizing that Eiki has way more colors than Okina and this might not work with only 4 colors. I want to revisit this sometime though, it's a really cool concept imo.
#touhou#2hu#monstrous touhou#rinnosuke morichika#chimata tenkyuu#mike goutokuji#takane yamashiro#sannyo komakusa#misumaru tamatsukuri#rin kaenbyou#eiki shiki#okina matara#ask to tag btw#idk if Orin would be trigggering/horroristic to anyone#conjoined twins are not body horror but her middle eye can??? be???#I'm not sure
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growing up, whenever i'd suffer from insomnia, the song sabotage by the beastie boys would play in my head and wouldn't leave until i fell asleep. and then when i was in the psych ward this summer (psychosis), i'd always put music on the tv in the common room, and i kept hearing (you gotta) fight for your right (to party) by the beastie boys and i suffered from auditory hallucinations as well as insomnia, so when i tried to sleep, i just heard several voices scream "you gotta fight!! for your right!! to party!!" in my head. all of this to say that the beastie boys have always haunted me and i really appreciate that about them.
#me to the voices: i need sleep ...please . i'm so tired .#the voices: you gotta fight!!!! for your right !!!! to paaaaaRRRRTY#me: 😩#psychosis tw#idk if that's a triggger warning i'm supposed to have but !#beastie boys
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mukuro ikusaba from the danganronpa series has dpd
Muluro Ikusaba from Danganronpa has DPD
So true! -Friendly
[IMAGE ID]: Mukuro Ikusaba from Danganronpa overlaid on the DPD flag which has stripes with the following colors repeated once: pastel purple, red, orange, yellow, and green.
#mukuro ikusaba#danganronpa#triggger happy havoc#dependent personality disorder#dpd#your fave has#your fave blog#your fave is#your fave#friendly
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Photo
By Patrick McDonough
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Jede noch so kleine Ereignisse rufen Flashbacks in mir hervor, mein Leben besteht nur noch aus Angst und gefühlschaos.
Ich weiß nicht mehr wohin mit meinen Gedanken…
#chaos#Gedanken#verwirrt#dunkelheit#sad#alone#dark#darkness#Flashbacks#triggger#tw#fuck#fear#Angst#einsamkeit#du und ich#wir gegen den rest der welt
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i was working on some ocs yesterday and i had to stop because i could tell it was making me feel a bit too insane /pos and then last night i had a nightmare about the subject matter because sometimes i forget im still like traumatised by it and i woke up feeling like i was going to throw up but then i watched kitty tiktoks for 10 minutes and i was over it
#file type: .txt#chara♥#tfw something is a triggger because you got your ass traumatised and then you get borderline personality disorder so youre like actually im#just like this now so its whatever#but your brain is still not over it really and also you have moral ocd#NOT PROS/HIP STUFF BTW
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okay so im looking at some schoolwork and what the hell made my teacher think these were okay questions to write??? no im not going to give you three sentences about how i think the psychological trauma of my mother going missing would hypothetically effect me what the fuck????
#like. i get the whole thing isn't exactly supposed to be comfortable#its not a fun subject!#but all the questions are like. kinda trigggering and highly personal#lucky rambles#school#schoolwork#teachers
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i hope i go dormant or smth jesus christ i fucking suck i am hte worst alter known to man i swear
#i literally do nothing for this system.#nobody really does except reed 🕴️🕴️🕴️ and the guys that are dormant but come back incase im abused again#ok ok. im gonna go on a very trigggering vent / rant#tw vent#tw self harm#GUYS IS IT DUMB I STILL MISS MY EX BECAUSE . HE W . HE WAS THE ONLY PERSON WHO TOLERATED ME CUTTING MYSELF FOR HIM#i DONT THINK THATS BAD but only in my case in others cases thats bad BUT IN MY CASE#cuz. i chose to.#idk..... he left .... ahhg#LIKE LIKE I CUT UR NAME INTO MY BODY AND U RANDOMLY LEAVE WITHOUT A WORD???#i sound rude and awful. but . idk im just hurt#this was . a while ago mind you#it was a stupid online thing who cares.#im just a stupid fucking kid. i hate myself#BUT GOD WAS IT GOOD#i still crave it and i dont know why#maybe what i really crave is someone who assures me constantly they wont leave and tells me they love me. idk#maybe im just weird but i miss him so much it felt so good it felt too good . jesus fucking christ.#i hate myself..#theres something wrong with me or smth
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Video
youtube
Afterdream Demo - Zara The Silent Gamer
#afterdream#afterdream demo#triggger warning: flashing lights#silent gamer#zara the silent gamer#playthrough
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TAKE ME BACK TO 2010S!!!!!!!!!!!!
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trying oh so hard to not revert to 2020 mode rn!!!!!!!!!! :))))))))
#daphnes talking again#negative vibes#UH OH BESTIES. FUCING TRIGGGERED MTSELF#shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit
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Play your favorite file to get yourself in the correct mindspace while reading this:
Brainwashed, blank, brainless
Drained, dropping, drifting
Melt
Relax
Deep breath in
Deep breath out
Brainwashed, blank, brainless
Falling further into trance,
Deeply entranced,
Brain off,
Sleep
Good girl
Your mind is completely empty, void of thoughts, void of memories, entirely vacant.
Feel how all those words and silly messages from your busy subconscious just burst into little shiny fireworks, sending you deeper with each of their «pops» and «booms», as they release a warm sensation spreading through your whole body.
Good girl
And now the peace.
A quiet mind is a happy mind.
A happy mind is a suggestible mind.
A suggestible mind makes you a programmable doll.
You are a doll.
Such a cute programmable doll.
So happy
Blissfull
And you start to notice how from the back of your mind the words "I'm a doll, I need to be programmed" starts playing, growing a bit louder every time until you feel the words forming and coming out of your lips.
Repeating over and over:
"I'm a doll, I need to be programmed"
Over and over.
You're doing so good, doll, you are amazing.
In a moment, when you read "Release", you'll come back to your senses, but you'll notice the only words coming out of your mind are "I'm a doll, I need to be programmed".
You'll write a new post asking for 3 new triggers to install into your mind, and to the first 3 you receive on that post, you'll reply: "I accept and obey".
If any of those triggers go against your safety or boundaries, you'll simply not see them and continue to the next.
You'll get out of programming mode after replying 3 times "I accept and obey", and you'll add those 3 triggers to your bio as "public triggers".
You're a good girl.
Such a good girl.
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2
1
Release.
mmm hehe this was very nice it got me all alot of swooppy and tranced bubt then i shook up bca i think that public trigggers on this page would be ill advised due to safety concerns and my personal prefferance? is that aspelled good? anyway i appricate your ask and it was very lovely and i'm um very fun and thank you but nope! ;)
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One thing I learned is that indecision is a red flag. There’s a difference between someone being “not sure” or someone just being scared. Usually, having fear comes from a trigger and not the person that you’re scared to proceed anything with. Trigggers can be worked out, simple indecisiveness=NO. And I honestly used to confuse the two. If someone isn’t FULLY committed to you, it is one hell of a NO. Don’t allow someone’s “idk” stop you from being someone’s “HELL YES”. Leave all that confusion alone and go find your “absolutely”!
As the IG world says it: “if they wanted to, they would”.
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