T4T detrans kink not from transphobic trauma but from the longing of feeling desirable when you used to be a girl, when cis guys would want you. when you had long hair and hardly any body hair and straight boys flirted with you.

but you were trans. you felt awkward in that mold of girl and boy. you were probably gay too, and you liked these boys. but not in the same way they liked you, not the same way other girls around you liked boys. and you missed out on a lot of fun experiences growing up because of this

and now you’re on T. and that’s amazing. and maybe cis gay guys are even into you, and that’s cool. but they just… don’t really get you. and you don’t really get them. sometimes you kinda wish you could be that young girl again, and have the guys you’re interested in wanting your attention and putting in the work to have you as their girlfriend. you used to have that, but you missed out on those opportunities

and let’s say you try to hook up with straight guys. the problem is. not that many are gonna be into you, you’re too hairy, too many, voice too deep, and even if they are okay with that they just wanna fetishize your trans body. they’re not seeing you how you want to be seen. you want to be GIRL. you want to be feminine again and wanted

but with a trans guy? happily seeing you as a girl? seeing right through you, loving those curves and your soft skin and recognizing the girl underneath your transition? he understands and he gets it. and you see HIM how he needs to be seen. as the young man going after girls like he never got to when he was young before his transition. because cis girls just don’t get it. but you get it.

okay now that im a neet i can officially start making dc merch

Did I miss "back from the war" recreation or is that not happening

OK so i've been meaning to address this for a while because it’s actually something i've been genuinely annoyed/sad/upset about; my original plan to recreate the post was to go to riot fest & have someone take pics of me during MCR live in person (caption wouldve been something like ‘when will mcr--omg they;re Back from the Warfdskns’ lol idk). i ended up 2nd row from the barrier & i was like OMG bc i didn’t expect to get so close & i was like ‘WOW these r gonna b such GR8 PICTURES!!i;m so lucky!!this is gENIUS!’ & so my plan was literally going according to/even better than planned right?? i mean the fact that i was ~a few feet away from the stage n was ~1.5hrs away from seeing mcr LIVE??? my plan was going along SUSPICIOUSLY well..everything was falling into place TOO perfectly...it was almost to good to be true right??? IT WAS. everything went to shit & my plan fell thru during the last band before MCR when my body suddenly fell victim to the effects of being crowd crushed for >7 hours straight; i experienced syncope & was pulled over the barrier & out of the pit by security.

sooooo, you didn’t ‘miss’ anything; the post was supposed to be recreated at the concert, but the universe pulled an uno-reverse on me when it remembered i’m on the universal ‘Do Not Ever Allow to Be Truly Happy’ list lol. i meant to post an update abt my failed plan afterwards, but tbh the actual event in itself made me wanna fr kms, and i felt even guiltier/worse for being unable to fulfill my promise to u all bc i fr planned on recreating it at the concert. 'ok but u were still at the concert after u got pulled out’ ok physically yes but mentally N-Ooo. due to the hypoxia (lack of blood blow/oxygen to the brain) i’d obtained secondary to being crowd crushed PLUS the psychological trauma of being removed against my living breathing dying will from the pit (btw the psychological trauma has nothing to do with being crowd-crushed but im not gonna get into that turmoil rn lol), i was stuck in an altered mental state for the remainder of the concert. i was dissociated for mcr’s entire set until i woke up the next morning & it took ~3-4 days for my body to fully recover from the physical trauma of being crowd crushed.

i still plan on recreating the post eventually, but tbh it’s not rlly my top priority atm bc 1) i still can’t come to terms w/ the fact i lost my 1 n only chance to experience MCR live & 2) imo seeing MCR live was the perfect opportunity to recreate the post & that clearly didn’t work out for me sooo now i have no idea how else i can top that idea :( .

You, Me and the Apocalypse "Jamie" On Set Interview - Mathew Baynton

My character creation process is literally like. I look at a vocaloid module and think "what if they had trauma" and suddenly they're a new blorbo

finally watched fnaf movie.

ngl i thought there was gonna be way more gore

me reading hcs with a reader that thinks theyre being funny and sassy but are really just being mean and stinky to gojo:

Hi hru? I'm doing good. (Me tryna strike up a Convo cause i just wanna know if you're alright or not—)

ARXX I'M GOOD HOW ARE YOU???

sometimes I'm like I should socialize more then I remember the time I was at a party and 2 complete strangers I had been having a conversation with started talking for like 10 minutes abt their abusive exes while I stood there silently before one of them actually turned and asked me if I had ever had an abusive ex

did i make a mistake?

I normally don't say this about characters I love but I rly hope matt gives cassandra a love interest before the end of the campaign

sorry but it drives me insane that a bunch of french men with the egos bigger than their tower and a whole lotta french pedophiles got together with the fuckin c i a and ivly league schools and. now. today. this. THIS is the state of the "liberal leftist" west. and you got "commies" who pretend to eat the manifesto for breakfast but who think "swerfs" exist. its like a really, really, really, Really bad joke which doesnt stop and which is real

wrote another note as civilly as i fucking could despite still being triggered, honestly. if this one doesn't result in us actually make up i fucking give up bruh i cant keep doing this w her

manic mixed depressive episode on my bday is so fun especially when ur going on 2 days no sleep n have a 12hr shift starting at the asscrack of dawn in 6hrs

.

Absolutely so silly the little things that will get to me, like having my very first team names with my fellow mods is making me fucking cry (/pos) because like

Damn, I belong here? I’m part of a team and I’m appreciated and people like me and want me to be here? I was picked for this team!! And the names!! have relevant meaning to me because they know me and I just

I’m really not used to having places I belong or people who want me around, a little group of my own. And maybe it’s just hitting extra hard because of recent conversations about being aro and not being meant to have anyone you care about stick around

But it makes me so happy and feel so appreciated that these names just happened, just for funsies, wasn’t even trying.

The Void has always been a good place for me. But this makes it feel a little more like a home.