#toxicsuguru
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Wicked Games: Three
“I couldn’t utter my love when it counted
Ah, but I’m singing like a bid ‘bout it now
I couldn’t whisper when you needed it shouted
Ah, but I’m singing like a bird ‘bout it now”
- Shrike, Hozier
You had packed two duffels worth of luggage, which now sat on the small bed of the empty dorm room. Satoru had spent the trip trying to convince you to come to his place instead, so when you finally got back on campus you promptly kicked him out, explaining you needed to unpack. Thankfully, your office already held many items from your home, making packing easy as you brought clothing and essentials.
You looked around the small room: the single dresser, the plain walls, and the desk and chair. Not much has changed in the way of interior design since you lived on campus during your teenage years. Memories were pushing their way to the surface of your mind, the good and bad.
Suguru sneaking into your dorm room at night to stay over and the intimate moments you shared. Sharing laughs with Shoko as she managed to embarrass Satoru. Studying with your friends. Your fights with Suguru. Training with them.
You let out a soft sigh, trying to clear your head. You knew temporarily living here would be painful, but it was a choice you made and you had to live with it. Your mind filtered to Nanami and his choice to leave the Jujutsu world altogether after graduation before returning, but not in the capacity of teaching. Maybe he had a point.
A sudden knock on your door stirred you from your thoughts and you turned, seeing your long-time friend Shoko standing in the entryway.
“So you really are staying on campus?” she noted, eyeing the bags past you.
On your way over you had texted Shoko, summarizing the events that had unfolded in your home. Unlike your friendship with Satoru, which could be in the best ways described as chaotic, Shoko was a rock - calming and grounding. Afterall, it had been you and Shoko who had survived your teenage years with young versions of Suguru and Satoru.
You looked down at your bags, exhaustion beginning to work its way into your bounds as the adrenaline of the day's events began to dissipate. You sat on the edge of the bed as Shoko entered the room and joined your side.
“Yeah, but only for a little while, until things are… settled.” Your voice trails off at the end, the gravity of the words sinking it as you say them.
She’s quiet for a moment before she stands, motioning towards the door. “Come on, you need to unwind.”
You eye Shoko skeptically, remembering the last time “you unwound” with your old friend. It had been four years prior, 2014. Seven years following the events of Surugu massacring an entire village. You had been dealing with the fourth anniversary of the day you had ended things officially with Suguru, after he found you a week later of the murders, affirmed the rumors of what he had done, and then pleaded for you to join him in his new world. The memory always replayed in your head, your happy memories with him warped and contaminated by the tragedy. She had showed up at your apartment, convinced you to go out for the night and unwind. You easily drank too much that night, made some poor decisions…
You felt flushed and carefree, the sadness and anxiety slipping away as you threw your head back with another shot, five already having been downed earlier. Shoko sat beside you, flirting with the bartender as she enjoyed her own beverage - something on the rocks. You eyed her enviously, the way the bartender - a good looking man - was essentially eating out of the palm of her hand. You hated how after seven years a part of you still felt like you were still Suguru’s, like he had a part of you. That if you started something else with someone new, that it would be wrong. You eyed your cell phone then, a thought transpiring in your mind.
“I’m gonna go,” you told her.
She briefly looked away from her new companion and eyed you carefully. “Y/n…”
“I’m fine, Shoko. This actually helped, but I have an early day tomorrow. I’m going to grab a cab.” You gave her a quick hug, then teased: “Have fun!”
You dashed out the bar and into the cool night, jumping into the first cab that pulled over, head dizzy and heart racing. When you pulled up to the apartment, you paid for the cab and quickly made your way upstairs, stopping at the familiar door. Two knocks. Two knocks was all it took, biting your lip to keep your nerves still, a dopey smile on your face.
“Y/n?” Satoru greeted. He was dressed casual, hair down and sunglasses on. Sweats hung low on his hips, a loose t-shirt on his frame. You could hear the television in the background playing softly. He perched against the door, his frame taking up the whole doorway and keeping you from peeking inside, as much as you tried to glance over his shoulder.
“Can I come in?” He nodded, making way for you to squeeze past him and into his large apartment.
Unlike your own home, which was modest and cozy, Satoru’s home was modern, sleek and expensive looking. He had all the latest appliances, the most luxurious furniture. Playing with the ends of your sweater, you twirled around the room. The last time you had been to Satoru’s place it had been his family home or his dorm room. The apartment was new.
Satoru had shut the door, making his way into the kitchen where he poured himself a glass of water. “Like what you see?” he smirked.
You walked around the open space, eyeing the living room which was adorned with an expansive modern fireplace, television mounted above and surrounded by plush and expensive looking furniture. Large windows overlooked the space, showing the night sky and city in the distance. You couldn’t help but notice the lack of photos in the space as you finally turned to him, watching him take a sip of his drink.
“It’s… wow.”
He let out a soft laugh as he approached you, sliding his glasses up on his head. “So what’s up?” As all of the many times before, he was in your space. Always standing too close. He smelled good - like sandalwood paired and something earthier, muskier. His eyes were focused on you, making you flush only further at the ridiculous thoughts that quickly raced through your mind.
“Just felt like visiting,” you mused. “I know I’ve been meaning to see your new place.”
Another laugh. “I’ve had this place for like two years.”
You shifted under his gaze, letting out your own laugh. “Well I’m here now.” You eyed the space, noticing the absence of Satoru’s young wards. “Where is Megumi and his sister?”
Satoru moved past you and into the living room, your feet moving on their accord as they followed behind him. He settled into the sofa and you sat beside him, curling your legs under your skirt.
“They're at school. Boarding school for now.”
You're momentarily taken aback, a rush of soberness hitting you. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Satoru shrugged. “I didn’t think it was a big deal.”
You scoffed. “Satoru!”
Since Satoru had taken in the two children you had spent a great deal caring for them. While it was selfish, you knew a part of the reason you had grown so close was because it had initially helped in taking your mind off Suguru. However, over time you felt a pull to be active in their lives, knowing how chaotic it was.
“Look, if it’s such a big deal you can go visit them,” Satoru promised.
A pleased smile spread across your lips. “Thank you.”
Satoru simply nodded, setting his glass down on the counter as he stretched his arms out behind him and his legs out in front him.
You each fell into a comfortable silence then, watching the television as some late night baking show played on the screen. Satoru and his little quirks. His love for all things sweets-related and reality television. You wordlessly curled into his side then, snuggling into his arm as you leaned your head against your shoulder. It wasn’t your first time cuddling with the man, and yet your heart was racing.
“Satoru?” you suddenly said, voice soft.
He let out a hmm, eyes focused on the screen. When you didn’t immediately respond he peered down at you from where you had pulled away slightly, looking up at him all vulnerable and sweet. You slowly sat forward, tilting your head upwards until your lips lightly grazed his. A quick, hesitant peck. Testing the waters. You pulled away only slightly, breathing in each other. He tasted of mint and he noticed the slight trace of alcohol on your breath.
When he didn’t pull away you leaned forward again, a hand slipping into his hair as you placed a deeper kiss on his lips. He hesitated for a moment, kissing back towards the end before you pulled away again. He was watching you closely, trying to understand the reasoning, understand you. You shifted slightly, pulling closer into his frame.
“Just one night,” you murmured. “Please.”
He was quiet for a moment, watching you until he nodded. You maneuvered yourself into his lap, straddling him as his hands fell on your hips and you felt the bulge growing in his pants when you unintentionally grinded against him.
You leaned forward again, kissing him slowly and softly, hands coming up to cradle his face. Gradually the kiss deepened, picking up passion and speed as his fingers dug into your sides and you began to press yourself against his chest, your hips beginning to rotate in his lap as he guided you. You pulled away from his lips, trailing kisses across his jaw and neck, as you softly moaned. You heard his own groans as he began to guide you quicker on his lap.
“B-bedroom,” you gasped, before leaving a love bite on his neck to bury a moan. “”Toru… pu-please.”
He brought your lips back to his own, his hands traveling up under your sweater where you felt your skin light up from his touch. He brought his hands back down, grabbing the hem of the garment before pulling it up, your lips detaching as you quickly discarded it, tossing it on the floor. His hands slid down your waist and onto your bum, suddenly lifting you effortlessly as a squeal left your lips that was quickly replaced with another kiss. In quick steps you suddenly entered his room and tossed onto the large mattress. You look up at him, eyes glazed over with lust.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, trying to ignore the very distinct feeling below his waist that was telling him to fully send it.
You quickly nodded, shimmying out of your skirt and leaving you only your underwear. You watched him take off his own shirt and toss his sunglasses onto the end table, moving towards you achingly slow. When he finally approached the bed you felt his hand wrap around your ankle, stroking up and down your calf muscle in a soothing way before slowly ascending further and further up until he was massaging your upper thigh with his large hand. You let out a mewl, hips jerking up as you watched him.
“Beg for me,” he smirked, eyes trained on your face.
Your blush deepened. Of course Satoru would tease you, but you answered regardless.
“Please fuck me. Please, ‘Toru.”
He watched you for a minute longer, your nearly naked form presented before him as you tried to maneuver his hand lower. His smirk only grew before he moved on top of you, face meeting yours as you kissed again, feeling his hand trace the ridges of your panties before finally lightly trailing his fingers over your folds of the material. You tried to chase his hand, to grind into it as you moaned against his mouth, Satoru himself aching.
“You're so wet,” he teased, pulling away to watch you squirm beneath him.
“Sat-URO-OH,” you began to complain just as his hand slipped beneath your panties and brushed against your clit.
He buried his lips into your neck, leaving love bites and marks along the exposed skin of your chest and shoulders. You humped into his hand, your moans filling the room as he rubbed your clit with his thumb and then slipped one, then two fingers into you, pumping as you chased your high.
“‘Toru,” you moaned, feeling the tightening in your stomach from what you knew would be your orgasm, legs twitching as you tried to close them, however Satoru’s frame kept you spread open and wide for him. He picked up his speed, curling his fingers as he pistoned against your g-spot and you squeezed your eyes shut, mouth hanging open as a silent scream fell from your lips. You felt butterfly kisses along your jaw and face then as murmurs of praises graced your ears before Satoru’s lips were on yours’ again.
“You’re so messy,” he cooed, fingers slowly pulling out of you as you whined from the lack of feeling of fullness despite the sensitivity of your body. “My baby did so well.”
You watched him bring his fingers to his lips, sucking on them lewdly. “Taste so good.”
You blushed, rolling your eyes at him. “You’re disgusting.”
He simply leaned forward, brushing his lips against your own as you tasted yourself on his lips as his hands moved to pull down his sweats and you followed suit with your own bra and panties until finally you were both completely naked, Satoru’s body flushed against your own.
“Your thighs are trembling,” Satoru noted with a satisfied smile as he gripped your thigh with his hand and hiked it up alongside his waist.
You felt his dick brush against you and ground against him, seeking more.
“Stop teasing,” you pouted, brushing your lips against his own before biting and tugging his bottom lip.
You felt him smile and moan against your mouth and you took the moment to roll him onto his back, straddling him once more as you aligned him to your center before you began to slowly sink down. Satoru’s head fell back, a loud fuck falling from his lips and ringing in your ears and you finally bottomed out. Slowly you began to move your hips, his eyes on you again and hands squeezing your sides as he rutted up into you. Gradually your pace increased, Satoru sitting up and circling his arms around your waist to meet your pace with his own. He buried his face in your neck, murmuring sweet words and praises intermingled with degrading terms that left you hot to the touch as your body reacted, the knot in your stomach building.
You feel him whisper other words against you before capturing you in a kiss, too lost in your own building orgasm to hear what he’s saying. His hips snap up just right as you pull away for a breath, your sweaty foreheads pressed together as you whine above him, the knot inside you snapping as you feel your body tremble from your orgasm, stars hitting your vision as you bury your face into his neck where you moan loudly. Satoru’s own pace begins to falter as he quickly maneuvers you onto your back, pulling out just in time as he releases onto your thigh and stomach.
You lay beside one another breathing heavily, until your eyes begin to drift shut, body twitching as you feel Satoru cleaning up your body from the mess made between you. When he was done he climbed back into bed, pulling you to his chest where you felt yourself finally fall asleep.
When you awoke the next morning your head was aching, mouth dry. Your limbs were tangled in unfamiliar silk sheets and were sore. You sat up, the bed empty beside you as you recalled the previous evening's events.
“Fuck, fuck fuck,” you whispered in a panic, looking around the room for your underwear and skirt. Your eyes landed on a photo sitting on his dresser, a photo of you, Suguru, Satoru, and Shoko as teens. You tried to ignore the guilt rising in your chest - you and Suguru were over. You slipped out of bed, knees wobbly as you quickly slipped into the clothing that had been discarded in his room. His alarm clock read 11 a.m. You were late for work. “Fuck,” you muttered again as you clasped your bra on.
Just then Satoru stepped out of his adjoining bathroom, a billow of steam following him with a towel hanging loosely on his muscular frame.
“Morning,” he grinned at you.
You flushed from his toothy smile and cocky attitude, remembering the night's events, what was hiding beneath the towel, how you felt last night.
“I’m late for work Satoru. Why didn’t you wake me up?”
He shrugged, following you into his living room. “You teach upperclassmen. Most of the time they're away.”
You slipped on your sweater and whirled around, nearly colliding into Satoru’s strong chest.
“Last night was fun,” he teased.
“It was only a one time thing,” you warned, holding your finger up at him.
He simply smirked as he looked down at you and you wondered what was going on behind his head. You knew Satoru had slept with people before - he wasn’t a saint, but you had never considered that maybe he would want to sleep with you. Or was he pitying you last night? God you hoped not.
“Of course,” he answered. You eyed him for a minute longer, trying to understand his thought process but finally gave up after you realized you needed to head home, shower, and change.
You grab your cell phone and bag that sat on the entrance table near his front door, noticing the five messages and one call from Shoko. Fuck.
You looked at Satoru again who had followed you to the door, the sun of the outdoors rippling off his sculpted body. You gulped, eyes meeting his own again when you caught yourself staring. You never did one-night stands - let alone with a friend. What exactly was the protocol? You thought about last night, the words he was saying to you and the words you couldn’t quite make out. You weren’t expecting for the sex to be so good, for the intimacy he brought to it both during and after.
“Satoru last night -” you pause, voice soft as you struggle between honesty and hiding behind the wall you had built for yourself after Suguru. The latter winning. “Can we keep this between us?”
He smiles, but you fail to miss how it doesn’t reach his eyes as he nods. “I’ll see you later?”
You hesitate but nod, remembering you’ll run into him at school where he’ll likely spend most of his day bothering you rather than teaching. “Um, yeah. See ya then.”
And then you were gone.
You blinked, surprised at how the memory came back to you so quickly. You looked up at Shoko, realizing she was saying your name.
“Y/n. Relax - I promise it won’t be like last time.”
You pause, but finally relented as you followed her out of your room.
***
You watched Shoko take a log drag from her cigarette before offering it to you. You took it from her extended hand, taking a drag and letting out a cough. It had been awhile since you smoked - back when you were still a student.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.
You both were laying on separate medical bed trolleys pulled next to one another, staring up at the ceiling. You were quiet for a moment, another drag from the cigarette, a light warmth filling you.
“He looked different, but the same,” you said softly. “Like he’s stuck in time.” You glanced over to Shoko, eyes sad.
She hummed in response, eyes glancing to your’s.
“Do you still love him?”
Your silence is deafening in the room. “I don’t know. I mean, there was no one else before him. He’ll always…” Your voice trailed off then, letting out a frustrated sigh. “I think a part of me pities him.”
“I think he pities us,” Shoko muses to herself.
You look over to her again, watching her sit up as she shrugs. “We’re here - we have different beliefs, a different philosophy he finds wrong. I mean you remember those years after he left… he was relentless in trying to get us to join him. Because we were important to him at some point in his life.”
“Maybe we still are…” you murmur to yourself.
Suddenly the door to the room opened with Satoru marching in.
“Smoking on campus?” he smirks, eyeing the cigarette in your hand.
“Gojo,” Shoko greeted as he joined your side, tucking your legs over his lap. “Heard we have a new student.”
You offer the cigarette in Satoru’s direction, watching as he takes it and takes a drag. Unlike yourself, he’s perfect in his action - no coughing. You watch his cheeks hollow before a billow of smoke falls from his lips. He hands the cigarette to Shoko, who finishes it.
“Yuji Itadori, Sukuna’s vessel,” he agreed. You feel Satoru squeeze your ankle reassuringly as you recall Suguru’s words. Rumor has it Satoru’s found a vessel for Sukuna.
“I’d like to meet him,” Shoko muses. “Sukuna is powerful, what makes Yuji special…”
You sit up, legs swinging off Satoru’s lap to hang over the edge just as Satoru turns to you. “That reminds me, you're joining me tomorrow. New student.”
“Satoru I have my own students to look after.”
You watch him brush off your comment. “You students are all away on missions.”
“I still need to check-in on them.” Then: “I'll join afterwards.”
You give a defiant look and he relents. “Fine.”
Shoko scoffs, a smirk on her lips. “Only you can put Gojo in his place.”
You watch her hop down, flushing from her comment as you remember your earlier memory. You watched the dark storm outside, your thoughts drifting to Suguru as you wondered if he was out there somewhere. You cleared your throat, also jumping down.
“It’s late, I should try to get some sleep.”
“I’ll walk you back,” Satoru offered.
You agreed and said goodbye to Shoko, Satoru following beside you with his hands in his pockets. Both of you were quiet, a comfortable silence that wasn’t always familiar when in the presence of Satoru. When you reached your door you turned to say goodbye to him, only to watch him stop in front of the room across the hall from you.
“What are you doing?”
“Didn’t I tell you? I’m staying here for a bit.”
Your mouth fell open as you watched Satoru smirk at you proudly before opening his own door. “See you tomorrow, Y/n.”
And then he was gone.
#letthesmutbegin#suguru x you#toxicsuguru#satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru#getou suguru x reader#friends to lovers#enemies to lovers#enemies#jjk angst#angst#Jujutsu Kaisen#jjk x y/n#jjk reader insert#romance#jujutsu shoko#toxic relationship#toxic attraction#messyfriends
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Wicked Games: Six
“What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you
And I don’t wanna fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart)
No I don’t wanna fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you”
- Wicked Game by Chris Isaak
You’re kissing him. Lips connected, tongues fighting for dominance. Kissing, kissing, kissing.
Suguru swiftly rolls you onto your back, kissing you hard. He’s missed this. Missed you. It’s been too long that he’s been able to hold you properly, taste you. His hands are roaming your body, trying to memorize every curve and dip you have. Your own hands have slid behind his neck as you let out a small whine.
He moans against your mouth. It’s not enough. It’s never enough with you. He wants more - he’s gone years without being buried in you and he aches. He hikes your right leg, hooking it around his waist as he ruts against you. He doesn’t care if he seems like a horny teenager right now because all he can think of is you. His lips leave yours, trailing open-mouthed kisses down your jaw, your neck. He’s slowly trailing down your clothed body, one goal in mind right now and that goal was hiding behind a pair of panties and bottoms that needed to be ripped off.
Your breathing hard, your skin on fire underneath him and reality is starting to set in again as you remember where you are. Your blissful bubble popped. Suguru is the bad guy.
“S-suguru stop,” you manage to mumble out and even though he is the bad guy, he does. He resurfaces near your face, eyes darkened and lips puffy.
“We can’t do this,” you tell him, voice soft as you're unsure of how he’ll react. You hate yourself for telling him to stop, missing his touch.
He seems to see that truth hidden behind your eyes, too. “You want this, want me.”
The look he gives you almost makes you concede. It’s serious and dark and honest. It makes you want to tell him to just fuck you in the woods and be damned if someone finds you. But you don’t.
“This is a mistake,” your voice waivers, a whisper in the large space. A tear falls down your face. “We were a mistake.” You need to protect yourself, even if it means breaking his heart. You’ll always be on opposing sides.
He gives you a look as if you had just physically stabbed him. His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion at your words, irritation bubbling to the surface. He knew you were lying, but the words still hurt.
You manage to push him off you and he’s sitting across from you, breathing a little heavier from the lust he still felt, cheeks burning red.
“Then kill me,” he says. “It should be easy if I was a mistake.” His words are biting, harsh. You're silent, not moving towards him and he scoffs. He moves towards you gripping your cheeks hard, squishing them together so that a pretty little pout falls across your features as you look at him with sad and scared eyes. The cruelty is back. He thinks you look adorable like this, sad doe eyes and he again, both loves and hates you for it. He lets out a mean laugh. He knows you too well.
“You can’t kill me. I’ve killed hundreds of people. I could murder every last living being on this planet - for you or for my cause - and you could hate me for it and you still couldn’t do it. Because you love me, just like I love you.”
He releases your jaw forcefully and you swallow because as horrible as it sounds, you’re afraid that he might be right. He’s quiet for another moment, watching you before he finally says:
“We weren’t a mistake.”
He sees that you're trying not to cry and it takes everything in him to not fold, to apologize and hold you. He needs to refocus, he has bigger plans than you and he’s been here far too long and if anything, at least your words, albeit lies, helped him realize it. He casts you one last look before finally he leaves.
***
It took Satoru less than five minutes to find you sitting in the woods by yourself as he levitated in the air, blindfold long removed. You looked unharmed and unfortunately he couldn’t see Suguru anywhere - again. He quickly warped to you, startling you from your spot on the hard forest floor.
“Are you fucking stupid?”
He is glaring at you, nostrils flared. He had thought you were in danger, so as he takes in your disheveled appearance - swollen lips and a small love bite on your exposed collarbone, he is fucking seething instead. He isn’t stupid - he’s familiar with this look, he’s given you this look.
“Satoru,” you mumble, not in the mood. You are ashamed. You fucking hate yourself right now and honestly, Satoru was the last person you wanted to see you like this.
“So what, Suguru is the bad guy until he wants to fuck you?”
He doesn’t mean to sound jealous, but he does and you, for once, don’t miss it. You bristle at his words.
“He’s dangerous.”
Your eyes snap to him, anger suddenly flushing through you. “You don’t think I know that?!” You look away from him, running a hand down your face as you hide the evidence of your tears. You're tired of crying over Suguru, you're tired of being scared. Your fucking exhausted from everything and it’s only been a little over a week. You think this must be what Hell feels like.
Satoru eyes you as you collect yourself, not looking at him, simply ruminating in your own thoughts. He really has no right playing the jealousy card right now, he’s not your boyfriend. But he fucking loves you and he can’t help it, so instead of giving in and trying to comfort you, he’s letting his sour mood win. Nevermind he wants to wipe away your tears for you, wants to make you smile, wants to kiss you. Because right now he is fucking angry - at you, at himself, at Suguru.
“You're staying at my place,” his voice cuts through the air like glass and you look up at him incredulously, shuffling to stand in front of him.
“What? No, I’m not,” you instantly argue.
“It wasn’t a suggestion,” Satoru gives you the most stern look you’ve seen from him, the one you’ve only ever seen reserved for people who piss him off.
He knows Suguru, knows the reason he risked coming on campus today was because he was gone. It irritates him. But that also means that if you're staying at his place, you’ll be safest there. Hell, he contemplates moving Yuji in at this rate, but decides against it. He doesn’t completely know Suguru’s plan yet, but he can understand where Yuji fits in. What worries him is you. He gets that Suguru has tried and failed multiple times to recruit you (and Satoru too), so he still hasn’t determined where you fit in. Satoru knows you - knows that despite whatever love you have left for Suguru, that you aren’t going to join his side. So what is your role?
“I’m not your prisoner,” you snap in disbelief.
“No, you're not. But it’s the only thing I can think of that will keep you safe for now,” he snaps back, annoyed. And it’s the only way he can think of keeping you from fucking Suguru. His second thought is selfish, but he also knows you're probably thinking it too, albeit for different reasons.
“You're unbelievable,” you huff out. You're so over today that you honestly don’t care anymore. The emotional whiplash that you’ve dealt with is leaving you raw and honestly, you just want to crawl under your covers and stay there until all of this is over.
Satoru wraps his arm around you and the next thing you know your back at school, in your room. You feel dizzy and Satoru has an iron grip on you, the playful expression he usually wears is gone and you look up at him from under your lashes, still very much annoyed at him, but also feeling somewhat guilty as you think about the jealousy you witnessed earlier. You begin to wonder if maybe he has feelings for you and then how complicated that would be given your history. He notices you looking at him and finally releases you.
“Get you stuff,” he says, looking around the space before he throws your empty duffel bags onto your bed. He moves to where the small desk is and leans against it, waiting. You stare at him again, dumbfounded like a fish out of water.
He didn’t have to be so mean.
“I should tell the others-” It’s the only thing you can think to say.
“I’ve already texted Megumi.”
Oh.
You move around the room, gathering your things quietly as Satoru simply watches.
“I should really go see Shoko or talk to Yaga,” you say as you're stuffing your clothes in one of the bags. “They need to know.”
“Yaga’s already scheduled a meeting for tomorrow,” Satoru replies, arms crossed.
Oh.
“Still, Shok-”
Satoru lets out an irritated sigh. “She can come over tonight.”
You fall silent after that until finally all of your belongings are packed and Satoru is beside you again, warping you both back to his place. His new apartment. The stuff of memories - in particular, the only memory you had of this place because you had only been here that one time. Any other time you saw Satoru it was him coming to your place or at school or away for work. Your eyes momentarily flicker over to the sofa you remember so clearly.
On the other hand, you think you were getting used to his teleporting.
You step away from him, looking around the space as Satoru finally says: “Follow me.”
You wordlessly follow him down the hallway, passing his bedroom where his door is open and you see his neatly made bed and silk sheets. More memories. He stops in front of a door that is a few doors down from his own, opening it and allowing you inside. It’s a nice space - a guest room with a large king sized bed, large windows overlooking the city, and adjoining bathroom.
“This used to be Tsumiki’s room,” he says suddenly and you look at him in momentary shock. Megumi’s sister?
“Oh.” You honestly don’t know what else to say because you know where Tsumiki is, the poor girl’s fate.
You step further into the room, setting the bags down on the bed as Satoru stands in the entryway watching you. He’s still annoyed and pissed, but not to the severity he was only moments ago. You turn to him, meeting his gaze. You hate whatever this is between you two right now, making you both feel on edge.
So you decide to ignore it.
“I’m going to take a shower. Towels?” you ask.
He points to the door leading to the bathroom. “There should be some fresh ones’ in there.”
“Right…” your voice trails off and Satoru takes this as his cue to leave you alone. He disappears from the doorway, walking down the corridor to his own bedroom - where he slams his door shut loudly.
He may not be as fuming like before, but he’s still upset and he is petty.
You shut your own bedroom door, not as loud but still enough to let him realize he isn’t the only one irritated - you’re just better at having some semblance of control. You move into the bathroom, under the hot water coming from the rain shower head as you let yourself sink to the ground, cradling your legs to your chest, finally letting a sob escape your lips.
***
By the time you had left the shower your skin was hot and pruned. You don’t know how long you sat under the shower head, but it had to be awhile as you let yourself just cry over everything that has happened. You had spent a minute just looking at yourself in the mirror - at the face that stared back at you. It felt like a stranger: bloodshot eyes, dark circles forming under them and a cut on your cheek from where you had scratched your face while chasing Suguru in the woods.
You had found a large fluffy robe hanging in the bathroom and decided to slip into that, letting its warmth and softness cradle you as you left the bathroom, a shocked expression crossing your features as you took in the sunset outside. It was gorgeous from up here.
You thought for a moment that maybe you could hide out for the rest of the evening - maybe even days, weeks - if this meant the type of comfort and view you would have.
There’s a sudden knock on your door and you shuffle towards it, opening it so only a small part of your robed frame is on display. On the other side is Satoru, wearing only sweats, his hair also wet from his own shower. You try to keep you eyes focused north and not on his athletic chest, abs, or the deep v leading to his -
“You hungry?” he asks, breaking your train of thought.
“Are you still mad at me?” you respond instead, because right now you’d rather he didn’t hate you. You were already hating yourself enough.
He looks tired, his usual mischievous expression absent as he sighs. “No.”
You aren’t sure you believe him, but you really don’t feel like arguing, so instead you nod. “I could eat.”
“I’m ordering pizza. Anything you don’t want?”
You give him your usual dislikes and he takes note before leaving you to change.. You later join him in the living room where he’s now watching television - some reality television show about yachts and their crew. You sit on the other side of his sectional sofa, momentarily watching him. His sharp jaw, his perfectly sloped nose, his messy wet hair, and finally his ocean-blue eyes. You always knew he was handsome, but the way the setting sun is hitting his features makes you realize he resembles more of that of a sculpted Greek God - as if he was made out of marble or clay. Then you notice his hand, bruised and skin broken. You aren’t sure if you should say anything.
You blink, looking away in fear he’ll catch you staring. You sit in silence together, watching the show until finally the doorbell rings and Satoru is getting up, grabbing yours’ and his dinner, and joining you back in the living room with napkins and two glasses, a bottle of your favorite wine tucked under his arm.
You figure this may be Satoru’s way of trying to say he is also sorry about how he reacted earlier, but you aren’t sure. He may be one of your best friends but he was still hard to read and you know Satoru rarely apologizes - even when he’s in the wrong. The silence continues as you both eat your dinner, you also enjoying a glass of wine. Satoru has poured himself a glass, but he’s barely touching it. Instead, he’s shoveling down a fourth slice of pizza, his stomach an empty pit that never seems to gain fat.
It was unfair, really.
By the time you are both done you’ve drank two glasses of wine and your head is a bit fuzzy, but it’s honestly helping in easing how you’ve felt all day. You decide to take care of the dishes, moving quietly around his kitchen as the television plays softly from the living room. Satoru suddenly joins you in the space, making himself a bowl of ice cream. He stands beside you as you continue to do the dishes, pouring an obscene amount of chocolate sauce on his chocolate mint ice-cream.
“How are you not diabetic?” you can’t help but ask, eyeing the bowl full of sugar.
He shrugs, enjoying a spoonful of his dessert as he finally looks down at you with his familiar boyish grin.
“How does your liver still work?” he smirks back and you lightly hit his chest, because in truth, you honestly don’t drink that much. One or two glasses a month really, if that.
You turn and look at him and he’s watching you. Somehow between the course of events from earlier to now, the awkwardness and anger has seemed to dissipate and God are you grateful. You missed this.
He tucks a strand of your hair behind your hair, an intimate action that leaves you somewhat surprised given how he was acting earlier. He’s looking at you now with the tenderness and openness you realize you’ve only ever really seen reserved for those closest to him, namely yourself and Suguru.
You decide to change the subject, because the intimacy is making you think about a lot of things that are really only confusing you further when you are a bit tipsy. Like how Satoru’s lips look nice. Or how when the thought of Suguru still makes your heart race. You need to get over Suguru and you need to stop thinking about Satoru like that, because really, your friends. Only friends. And you’ve really never had this issue before.
“How was your mission?” you ask.
Satoru eats a spoonful of his ice cream as he recalls to himself about defeating the curse-user in a matter of minutes and then how he found Miss. No-Name later and essentially fucked her face when he couldn’t stop thinking about you, as much as he tried to forget.
“Great,” he replies simply.
You're surprised when he doesn’t drag on about it to you - dragging out gory details or telling you about what happened afterwards. It was usually his M.O. Instead, you stand there eyeing one another. Things feel like before, you realize, but they also don’t. Suddenly your phone rings beside you and you see the familiar name of Shoko cross the scene as you break eye contact.
“I should get this,” you say.
“Tell Shoko I say hi,” he replies as you leave the room.
He watches your figure leave, retreating into your temporary bedroom. Setting his bowl down his jaw flexes as he thinks back to earlier - to catching you hot and bothered, to his jealousy, and then to when he went into his own bedroom.
He had slammed the door and not long after that he heard your own. Fine, you're both annoyed. He thinks he can live with you hating him, he decides. Maybe it’ll make getting over this jealousy easier because he hates this feeling. You're his friend and yes he loves you, but Satoru Gojo also knows that love is a weakness and threat.
He can’t get the image out of his head though - of you on the ground covered in marks and flushed. He was a lot better at handling his emotions when you and Suguru were dating. For some reason it was just easier then and finding himself a girl to get over you seemed to work. But then you left Suguru and not long after that you two had fucked. And he knows you said it was only a one time thing, but Satoru also knows you. You don’t do one-night stands, your emotions tangled in with the physical. Which means even if you aren’t fessing up to him or yourself, there had to be more to it that night.
And so he’s jealous, and pissed, and petty right now. And the jealousy is making him want to barge into your room and kiss you so hard until you forget Suguru’s face and name. He wants to throw you on the bed, rip your clothes off, and fuck you until your babbling mess that only knows his name. And unfortunately, he can feel himself getting hard from the thought.
He moves towards the dresser that has the photo of you, him, Suguru, and Shoko and he can’t help it. He punches the wall above it, leaving a cracked indent of his fist, his knuckles bloody. He’d rather feel this pain than anything else right now, so he does it one more time for good measure. He can heal his hand later.
He hears the shower going in your room and he eventually decides to do the same. A shower will hopefully cool him down. It doesn’t, not really. He’s letting the water hit his frame, drip down his head as he runs his undamaged hand down his face. Your face crosses his mind again, pretty pouty lips, wide eyes, and flushed cheeks. His dick twitches and he really is trying to resist the painful ache between his thighs, but he can’t help it. So instead he wraps his hand around his length, remembering the time he fucked you and imagining the things he would do to you now. He would fuck you stupid, he thinks. He’d leave marks all down your body claiming you as his and you’d whimper underneath him until he buried his face between your legs, overstimulating you for hours. And then after that he’d bury himself in you and the prettiest pleas and moans would leave your lips as your cumming around his dick again and again while fucks his own cum into you. And that’s what sets him off with a few more tugs from his hand. He cleans himself off and finally leaves the shower. His hand still hurts, he’s still irritable. He decides misery loves company and throws on some sweats. When he knocks on your door you answer after a few minutes, standing in a robe that allows him to see the dip towards your cleavage, your skin still slightly damp. One of your legs is slightly peaking out. His intention was to come piss you off more, but then he sees your eyes. They're sad, and tired, and he can tell you were crying. Fuck.
So instead he says: “You hungry?”
Leading him back to the present. He had lied when he said he wasn’t upset anymore, but he couldn’t handle seeing you like that. Because finally he realized you were probably hating yourself enough for the two of you.
He looks down at his damaged hand and uses his technique on it, watching as the skin decides to mend. He’d noticed you staring earlier. In the hallway, in the living room. It’s a small enough victory that even in his irritability, makes him realize you staying here was going to be a lot more fun than he realized.
#gojo satoru#gojo satoru smut#satoru x reader#satoru x you#getou suguru x reader#geto suguru#toxic attraction#toxic relationship#toxicsuguru#toxicsatoru#gojo x y/n x geto#Jujutsu Kaisen#jjk angst#jjk#jjk reader insert#jjk x y/n#friends to lovers#enemies to lovers#angst#love triangle#messylove#messyfriends#suguru smut
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Wicked Games: Nine
“You’re dislocated, don’t be like that.
And you smile when you dive in, like you’re never coming back.
So hold my body; yeah, hold my breath.
See your face when I black out, I’m never coming back”
- Fear of the Water by SYML
You sit on the bleachers facing the track outdoors, the wind lightly blowing your hair around as you watch the Tokyo students prepare for the Kyoto event.
You hadn’t heard back from Satoru in weeks since everything was left in such a mess. You were mostly trying not to think about it, focusing on your work, the remaining first years, and the second years who had returned.
Your gaze follows the training students below - Nobara with Panda and Toge, Megumi discussing something with Maki. You can’t help the way it reminds you of old times.
The sound of metal rings into the air, two staffs colliding as the two boys trained together. Satoru, quick, confident, and observant. Suguru a quiet storm, working in a defensive mode to counter Satoru’s offensive approach.
Shoko is perched against the chain link fence beside you, cigarette between her lips. She seems bored.
Suguru sneaks a peak in your direction and you give him a shy smile, Satoru successfully managing to land a blow. Suguru’s eyes return to his friend, a mischievous smirk and cold look to his eyes.
They continue fighting until eventually they tire out, returning to you and your friend. Suguru stops beside you, pulling you into his chest as he kisses you.
“Hmm, hey,” he smiles down at you.
“Hey yourself,” you smile up at him. You guys had been dating for the better part of a year now, your romance having started almost as soon as you joined the technical school. Since then it had been a whirlwind romance in your equally dangerous lives.
“Get a room,” Shoko sighs as she smirks at you in mock disgust, Satoru looking at the ground.
Suguru, with his arms wrapped around your waist and your back flushed to his chest, leans into your space nuzzling his face into your neck.
“Not a bad idea-”
You blush as you lean away from his lips.
“You need a shower,” you note, your eyes falling on Satoru, his own hair sticking to his forehead. “Both of you.”
Suguru kisses your neck before pulling away as he notices your teacher, Yaga, moving in your direction. Satoru looks over his shoulder, noticing his professor.
“What did you two do now?” you asked with a laugh, earning a smirk from both boys.
You shake your head, letting the memory fade away. Thinking about Suguru was still painful. You felt most of the time like you were mourning him. As Satoru had said - the man you knew died the day he left the school, even when you prayed it wasn’t true. And then there was Satoru. Whatever was going on between the two of you now, it was messy and confusing. He had always been more affectionate with you, but you had always chalked it up to Satoru being Satoru. So what if there was more to it and you had missed it all these years because you were stuck in the past? Even then, could you honestly entertain the idea of Satoru?
You run a hand through your hair, looking down at the notebook in your lap. You were getting ahead of yourself and there were bigger priorities right now. Whatever your feelings were, you had to set them aside so you could focus on your work and the students. Right now, you were one of the primary lines of defense against Suguru if he came back, which meant you couldn’t let the past control you.
The students continue training throughout the day and you guide them along, until finally the end of the day comes and you walk Megumi back to his room. It had been awhile since you had spoken to him - the events of Yuji’s death seemed to stir something in him as he disappeared shortly after to “take care of something”. You had noticed it relatively early, but didn’t pry him on the matter. You knew how Megumi was and if he wanted to talk about it, then he would.
“How have you been?” you asked.
“I’m alright,” Megumi replies after a moment of silence.
You reach his room and you stop him before he disappears.
“Y’know, it’s fine to not be,” you give a small, reassuring smile.
Megumi gives a stiff nod, clearly uncomfortable with talking about his emotions - even in your company, someone he has known for so long. You decide not to press him further on it, letting him know if he does want to talk to you and then waving goodbye to him just as your phone rings.
You catch yourself hoping it’s Satoru, his unwarranted long period of silence with you having you on edge. Even when he was away, Satoru always reached out with phone calls and text messages. Instead, Nanami’s name filters across the screen. You're surprised to see him calling you, as you haven’t heard much from him since he’s been bouncing between missions after Yuji’s death.
“I’ve got a case I need you on,” he spoke into the phone.
He sounded distracted, a bit gruff. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the state of his voice, but you found yourself nodding before realizing he couldn’t see you. Nanami didn’t often ask for help - he was a component and skilled sorcerer - which meant he had a seriously dangerous case.
“Yeah, of course. I’ll inform Yaga of my leave, make sure someone is watching the students,” you said, walking to your office for your belongings - namely your weapons and thigh holster. “Text me your location and I’ll be there as soon as possible.”
***
When you met with Nanami it was late in the evening, finding him setting up base in some hotel. You had knocked on his room’s door and after another round of knocks, he answered.
You were surprised by the sight in front of you - a shirtless Nanami with a bloodied bandage to his side. Your eyes went wide, moving into the space as he shut the door behind you.
“Nanami,” you murmured, gingerly moving your fingers to his exposed stomach, inspecting the bandages. Your skin lightly grazed his and you didn’t miss the unmistakable tension from his abs in the action.
“I’ll be fine,” he said stoically, but as you moved to inspect the damage further, he flinched into your touch, causing you to give a doubtful glare, instructing him to sit on the bed while you care for the wound.
“What happened?” You were moving around the bathroom, surprised to find it spotless aside from the bloody towel in the trash-bin. It was a lot of blood. You grimaced, finding some medical supplies and fresh towels.
“Ran into some issues with a curse-user,” he noted, watching as you returned to the space and knelt in front of him. He couldn’t help but observe as your eyebrows knitted together in concentration, face holding a slight frown from his state.
“I take it this is the special-grade you mentioned?” You don’t glance up from your work, focusing on unwrapping his bandage as you begin to clean the wound with some antiseptic and gauze. He hisses a bit and you mumble a sorry. “I don’t quite have Shoko’s techniques mastered to properly care for others.”
He shakes his head as if he doesn’t mind. “It is. I’ve been tracking him for a better part of a week - only managed to catch up to him today.”
You glance up at him from under your lashes as you begin to apply a new bandage, his side finally not bleeding as much. “Well I hope you managed to give him Hell,” you say with a soft smile. His own lip twitches into a small smile before you look back down at your work. “Is this too tight?”
“No, it’s fine thank you,” he replies, his own voice becoming more clear as he looks away from you. “I did do some damage - but the report indicated a first-grade. Somehow he’s gotten more powerful since then.”
You frown as you stand, discarding the used material and putting away the supplies. When you return you lean against the wall, arms crossed, as Nanami begins to button-up his shirt that had previously been on the bed.
“Is it just me or do curses and curse-users seem to be getting more bold? First Sukuna, the incident at the detention center, Suguru, and now this,” you motion to his frame as you bite your lip in thought. “Somethings going on.”
Nanami is quiet, contemplating your words. He hasn’t missed the warning signs either - the change in atmosphere regarding curses. Something was off and the sooner it was discovered, the better.
You push off the wall, motioning to the door. “But, we aren’t going to make some serious headway until tomorrow morning - give your body some time to heal and rest. I’ll be staying in the room across the hall.”
He looks like he’d like to refute, but backs down as his side stings with pain. He nods and wishes you goodnight as you leave..
***
You’re investigating the decaying hallway of the abandoned asylum, Nanami having informed you of the case this morning as you made your way to the building.
From what you gathered, the curse-user could alter your perception of reality and was highly skilled in combat. As Nanami described, they would trap you within the confines of your mind and unleash a fury of attacks. An attack on the mind and body. And that was what he currently knew - meaning there was likely more information still to be learned regarding their abilities. Aside from that, they had been killing citizens within the area and murdering sorcerers who came looking. Essentially, they were a serial killer personified with supernatural abilities. Great.
“Why does it always have to be desolate buildings,” you murmur as Nanami walks a few feet ahead of you, eyes trained to spot the curse energy. Truth be told, it wasn’t hard to miss. There was a crazy amount in the area - the problem was it wasn’t all from the curse user as many curses had appeared to take up residence here. Most of the ones you came across were easy enough to deal with, a flick of your wrist or Nanami’s blade had them shatter out of existence.
“How are you?” you ask as you scurry up to his side. You never liked this side of your work - it’s why you taught. Meanwhile, Satoru and even Suguru - when you were together - believed you had potential for so much more. Even if that was the case, you still held back.
Nanami glances at you briefly before his gaze falls to his wound. You had cleaned and mended him once more before leaving.
“It’s better,” he replied, a tight line across his lips. He was still in pain, but he had a job to perform and he’d prefer completing it.
You go to question him when you hear movement in the distance. A woman emerges, chuckling as she eyes you both. She’s shockingly beautiful with mysterious eyes, curves, and a young face. Honestly, she looked to be no more than 20.
“Back for more, pretty boy?” She grinned and then her eyes fleeted to you, a pout on her lips. “Aww, you brought a friend. I don’t know if I should be jealous or happy to have another plaything.”
She perches her arms behind her back, tracing the hallway towards you each. “Really, your looks are sooo lost on their side,” she smirked to Nanami, sneering at the mention of the sorcerers. Her eyes flicker towards you again, apprising you - your weapons on your thigh holster, your cursed energy, and the school button you had sewn into your fighting gear.
“Mmm, you’re powerful,” she licks her lips. “I can almost taste your curse energy. Delicious.”
You go to move into a fighting position but find yourself paralyzed - Nanami also unable to budge. Well shit. She wags her finger as she approaches you each, hand grazing along the back of Nanami’s shoulders before moving to you, hands combing through your hair. She stops in front of you each, leaning in close: “Ah, ah, ah. I’m not done yet.” She pecks you each on the lips, annoyance and slight panic on each of your features. Leaning into your ear, she whispers: “Go to sleep…”
Your eyelids begin to flutter close, finding yourself collapsing on the ground as you see Nanami being dragged away.
***
“Hey sleepyhead,” your eyes slowly blink open as you're greeted with a soft kiss, warm eyes looking down at you.
You smile up, taking in the sharp features of the man in front of you. “How long was I asleep?”
He rolls away from you, glancing at the alarm clock on his side of the bed before folding his body over yours’ again, face hovering over your own. “It’s almost noon.” He brushes his nose against yours’ before pulling away, hair tickling your face as you laugh lightly from the action. “Hmm, love that smile.” He leans forward, pecking your lips once more.
You comb your fingers through his hair like you’ve done so many times before, always that one piece in front of his eyes. “Love you Suguru,” you murmur.
He blushes slightly, a content smirk on his lips before he pulls away with a pout from you. He laughs as he rolls off the bed and you take in his naked body - muscular back, toned limbs, cute butt - as he walks into the bathroom to shower.
A content sigh falls from your lips as you glance at the nightstand beside you - a photo of you and Suguru at your wedding. He was dressed in formal traditional robes, you wore an ivory modern kimono with a Western twist. You looked happy and in love, but you found yourself frowning. You don’t remember the day, but you knew it was your wedding. You slowly sit up in the bed, slipping out of the covers as you wrap yourself in a short robe. You remembered that robe - the silk one from your home. You bought it at a flea market a few years back. You look around the room some more - the warmth of the sun filtering through the sheer curtains that covered the expansive windows overlooking the countryside outside. More photos of Suguru and you were throughout the room: a photostrip from your first date when you dragged him into a photobooth, photos of your engagement party, and then finally one photo that stuck out to you - a sonogram. Your hand with your wedding band drifted down to your stomach, now noticing the small bump there. You were growing confused and frightened now - many of these memories you didn’t recall making. And where were the photos you took while at school with your friends?
Suddenly Suguru emerges from the bathroom, hair down and body damp with a towel wrapped around his waist. He notices your expression, eyes furrowing together in confusion.
“Sweetheart?”
You take a small step back. This was wrong. This felt wrong.
“Y/n?” Suguru is moving closer to you now and suddenly his actions remind you of something else - something real. Wet body - wet hair. Your apartment as he moved towards you, asking about Sukuna. His cruelty and the love hidden behind his eyes. Suddenly a crack of thunder and lighting goes outside, despite there being no rain and only sun. Your eyes flicker towards the distraction briefly, your gaze falling back to Suguru is now suddenly in front of you - in your space.
He looks different - the tenderness behind his eyes are gone, a dark look in his eyes as he gives you a condescending look. His once normal arm looks scarred and damaged and before you know it, it’s grabbing you by the back of your hair and forcing you to look up at him from an uncomfortable angle.
“Let go of me,” you hiss.
He’s repeating the words from the forest. “You want me, want this.”
“This isn’t real,” you snap.
He gives you one last smirk, seemingly proud of you for figuring it out. “Bingo.”
You startle awake from the cold floor, head aching and heart pounding from the dream you had just experienced. You quickly inspected yourself - seemingly fine of any wounds - before quickly getting up as you realized the absence of Nanami. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
You're running down the hallway quickly, tracking the cursed energy of the curse-user until finally you come across the woman straddling over a barely conscious Nanami. He’s bloody and bruised, but you can tell he’s still breathing - barely.
She looks to you from where she is. “You woke up sooner than I anticipated.”
“Get away from him,” you warned, careful steps moving in her direction.
She gives you a bored look before gazing back down at Nanami, finger running down the side of his chiseled jaw. “He’s so handsome,” she said, ignoring you. “Why didn’t you dream of him?” You freeze momentarily, a wicked smirk on her lips. “Don’t get me wrong, Suguru is equally handsome. I met him once - I would know,” you don’t miss the suggestive tone to her voice, “But him,” her fingers trace his lips, “So pretty.”
She looks at you again, genuine curiosity in her eyes. “Would you like to know what he dreamed? ”
“I said get away from him.”
“Ugh, you're no fun,” she moves to stand. “He dreamed of you, y’know. You were somewhere warm - a beach in the tropics and let me tell you-” she fans herself “-there is so much more behind that button-up.”
You don’t know whether to believe her or not, deciding it's safer to assume she is lying. No time to get caught up in the semantics.
“I’m only going to warn you once,” your hand moves towards your throwing knife, pulling it out. “Stop this. Stop hurting people.”
“Or what?” she scoffs. She looks back down at Nanami, inspecting her work. “It’s so much fun pulling people apart.” She looks giddy in her words as she finds herself being pulled back to him to continue her attack.
You don’t give her time, quickly throwing the blade in your hand as it makes contact with her cheek, a deep cut forming as blood begins to trickle down it. Her eyes move to yours, surprise registering as it returns to you.
“Cursed weapon?”
“Made especially for me.”
She stands, squaring off against you as she pulls out her own dual-edged twin daggers as she gives you a menacing look. “You're really going to wish you didn’t do that.”
She rushes you then, her movements quick and agile as she moves around the space until finally your blocking one another’s moves, metal hitting metal, and blood being drawn from you each. She manages to jut the blade out just right, cutting through the material of your clothes and slicing your leg deeply. Your leg nearly buckles but you remain standing, waiting for your opening until finally you grab her wrist. Then you notice Nanami over her shoulder and you realize his chest is no longer rising or falling. Rage, fear, and sadness suddenly fill you.
She falls to her knees almost immediately, panic crossing her features as both of her weapons fall to the ground. A reddish-orange color begins to circle around you from your cursed energy being activated, the pupils in your eyes matching the shade as it appears like a ring of blazing fire.
“Vitality depletion,” your words are cold and sharp and she begins to squirm in your hold, fear taking hold. The color in her features begin to fade, cheeks growing hollow and skin dry. Tears prick her eyes.
“Please,” she begs hoarsely.
“I thought it was fun pulling people apart,” you snap, repeating her words to her. You can’t stop thinking of Nanami. He couldn’t be dead. He just couldn’t. Too many people were dying. First Yuji, then possibly him. And Satoru was nowhere to be seen…
Too many people are dying. The thought shakes you to your core as the girl before continues to whimper and plead, growing more and more weak by the second. Suguru crosses your mind - the unmistakable cold smirk - so proud of your abilities. Do it, he had murmured in those woods.
You pulled your hand away quickly and the girl collapsed to the ground, unconscious but breathing. The goal had been to trap her - not kill her. Your breathing heavy from your own actions, shocked from your lack of control.
You rush over to Nanami, wincing from the pain in your leg as you collapse onto the ground beside him. You look over his body frantically before resting your hands on his chest, doing the only thing you could think of: CPR.
You pumped his chest and then performed mouth-to-mouth several times, hoping to kickstart his heart. He still didn’t move, tears now falling down your cheeks.
“Please,” you cried, head falling to his chest.
Suddenly you felt a warm energy emitting from your fingertips and you glanced at your hands confused, a soft golden glow encompassing them. Your eyebrows furrowed together just as the energy began to die down, but you were distracted by the sound of Nanami coughing below you. Your eyes went wide, leaning forward until your cradled his head and pressed a sloppy kiss to his forehead, crying happily as he gave you a startled look. You looked like a mess - blood, sweat, tears, and snot on your face.
“What?”
You hugged him. “Thank God,” you murmured into his ear.
He groaned, slowly sitting up as you followed him. “Y/n? What happened?” He looked down at his chest, the blood covering his shirt - your own injuries - and then the passed out curse-user behind you. He goes to stand up on shaky legs, helping you up.
You're grinning like an idiot at him. “I don’t know - one minute you were just-”
“Just what?” He’s inspecting himself now - his injuries all but gone.
“Dead,” you gulp, “I just, I just touched you and there was a light and then you woke up.”
“I thought you couldn’t use reverse technique on others,” he stated.
“I can’t - I didn’t,” you look down at your hands. “I’m not sure what that was.”
He gives you a worried look before his gaze falls back to the curse-user. “Well, you can use techniques on yourself. I’ll get her taken care of - you mend yourself.”
You watch Nanami move towards her, taking out a cursed object presumably to be used to transport her back to the school to be judged by the higher ups and established clan where she would undoubtedly be either executed or imprisoned. Looking back down at yourself, you begin to mend your leg, wincing from the pain as a scar forms over the cut. You mend the other injuries, not quite as serious as your leg, before moving towards Nanami who is on the phone with someone. He hangs up just as you approach him.
“Hot date?” you joke, trying to ignore the words from earlier on Nanami’s dream and the strange look he is giving you since you used whatever that technique was.
“Another case,” he replied simply, your eyebrows furrowing together. Was it really safe for him to do another one so soon? “Come on, let’s get her back.”
“Right, no overtime,” you mumble, moving with him and the girl towards the exit.
You look over your shoulder one last time, a chill running down your spine, the feeling as if someone or something was watching you. Nanami stopped near the doors, turning to you.
“You alright?” he asked, inspecting you closely.
“I-” you go to speak, inspecting the decrepit lobby in front of you, shaking your head as you look back at him. “Nevermind. Let’s go.”
Mahito emerged from the wall as he watched your figure retreat with the blond, a crazed smile and laugh erupting from him. What fun,” he thought before skipping away into the darkness.
#Jujutsu Kaisen#jjk angst#jjk x y/n#jjk#jjk reader insert#gojo satoru smut#satoru x reader#toxic attraction#toxic relationship#toxicsuguru#getou suguru x reader#suguru smut#nanami kento#slow burn#friends to lovers#messylove#messyfriends#enemies to lovers#jjk romance#drama#action#mahito
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Wicked Games: Two
“You ruined everything
Always said you were misunderstood
Made all my moments your own
Just fucking leave me alone"
- Happier than Ever, Billie Eilish
You stared at your former lover not even seven feet away from you. He was soaking wet from being in the storm, not wearing his usual robes, instead dressed in loose dark pants and a dark hoodie. His hair was longer, loose but kept out of his face (aside from that one annoying strand that always dangled in front of his left eye - the one you used to always push away from his forehead or that tickled your face when you kissed). He looked more mature, cat-like eyes serious despite the cheshire-like smile spread across his lips. Then there was the arm. The one he lost in battle. In its place was a new limb, however he wore a glove over his hand, keeping you from identifying what it looked like.
“Aren’t you happy to see me?”
You blinked, shaken from your thoughts as his voice rang through your ears. He was being sarcastic, you knew it, but still you felt a part of you craving to go towards him. To answer yes.
“What are you doing in my home, Suguru.”
You pulled the towel wrapped around your body closer to your chest, a chill running down your spine. You felt exposed. Your eyes flickered to your bedside table closest to you - furthest from him. Inside was a set of your kunai throwing knives, your cell phone on top of the table charging. Another crack of thunder rang through your apartment, lights flickering. You weighed your circumstances in your head.
You were powerful, but compared to Suguru when he was at his best, you wouldn’t have won. You weren’t sure where he stood now. You had grown stronger since last year - Satoru had insisted - but that was also a whole year of unaccounted training for Suguru too. A part of you believed he wouldn’t hurt you, then another part remembered his fight with Satoru. Then: could you even hurt him? You found yourself hesitating too long, Suguru quickly picking up on your thought process. Afterall, you claimed to be each other's soulmates.
“I wouldn’t.” A warning.
He watched your figure for a moment, taking you in. You still drove him crazy.
“Why are you here?” you cleared your throat, flushing under his gaze.
He was quiet for a moment, eyes meeting yours again with a smirk. “Would you believe me if I told you I missed my girl?”
My girl. It was one of your many nicknames from him when you were together. My girl. Sweetheart. Beautiful. You felt flutters in your stomach, hating how your body still reacted to him.
You watched him step away from the window then, confident steps moving in your direction. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
You felt paralyzed. With fear, with lust.
“No.” Liar. You tried to remain confident, to not give away the emotions you were feeling. But you knew he knew you. An amused smirk crossed his features but he didn’t press you on it.
“Rumor has it Satoru’s found a vessel for Sukuna,” he said finally.
SHIT. How did he know? As far as you knew only yourself, Satoru, Megumi, and those in the meeting had known.
You shrugged, trying to play it off.
“I wouldn’t know.” Then: “Satoru doesn’t tell me every little thing he does.” The last statement was only half true and you both knew that. Satoru had a big mouth when it came to you both during the time of your high school friendship. Nothing had changed since then, aside from Suguru no longer being in the picture.
You noticed a shift in Suguru’s features then, brief annoyance from your lie. He leans closer into your space and it takes everything in you not to shy away, his lips only inches from your own.
“Whatever you’ve heard, from whomever it was… it’s not true. Nobody could handle Sukuna, even if he was found,” you add.
He doesn’t respond and you feel yourself shift from under his gaze. He raises his ungloved hand up to your wet hair and brushes away a strand, an intimate action that leaves you flushed. Suddenly he balls his hand into fist, yanking your head back to make you meet his gaze. Despite his actions, he appears calm.
“We never used to lie to one another.” You notice the hurt that crosses his features.
“Well times have changed,” you hiss out softly.
He releases his hold on you then, his hand lingering near your cheek to hold it before it falls at his side.
“You should go.” A warning from you now.
He watches you for a moment before nodding, walking backwards until he is near your window once more. Another crack of thunder and lightning, another flicker of lights.
“I’ll be seeing you, Y/N.”
It’s a promise, you can tell.
You watch him slip out the window and into the night. After a few minutes have passed you run to your window, slamming it shut and the lock with it, your body physically shaking. You suddenly felt the panic hitting you in waves, your breath quickening as you moved to the other side of your bed, and grabbed your phone, quickly hitting the speed-dial to Satoru’s number on your phone.
When he picked up he was laughing from something Yuji had said on the other line, his voice suddenly growing serious when you didn’t immediately respond to his joyful hello.
“Y/n? Are you there? Y/n what’s wrong?”
Your voice was small, not sounding like your usual self. “I… can you please come over.”
***
You were still sitting on your bed when Satoru showed up, having let himself in when you didn’t answer the door and he resorted to teleporting into your living room. He called out to you as he walked through your home, his panic only increasing when he made his way to your bedroom where he saw you curled on your bed in a towel, legs tucked under you. You looked dazed, tears running down your cheeks.
You met his gaze only when he sat hesitantly on the edge of your bed, his blindfold pulled down as he watched you carefully.
Your voice was quiet, so quiet he could barely hear you. You sounded heartbroken, distraught, scared.
“He was here.”
Satoru didn’t need to hear more to understand who you met. He suddenly felt on high alert, despite the knowledge that he couldn’t see his former friend anywhere nearby even with his six eyes.
He stands and goes around your room, making sure all the windows are locked, surveying the area where Suguru had come in. There was a fire escape outside.
Your gaze followed him, already starting to feel safer. Then you remembered: As far as Satoru knew, this was the first time Suguru had seen you in over ten years. Unknown to him, Suguru had “dropped in” several times before the events of Kyoto. Back when you had a wishful dream he would turn himself in and seek redemption. When you were still deeply immature and much more lovesick.
Satoru turned back to you then, grabbing a blanket that sat near the edge of your bed and draping it over you. His hand fell on top of your knee, running soothing circles over the soft material of the blanket that now sat in your lap. Your own hand moved towards your face, wiping away the tears as you tried to become calm. His azure eyes looked pained. You knew he felt guilty.
“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
You reach towards his hand, placing your own over his.
“I’ll be… okay.” You paused, thinking about your encounter with him. “He didn’t hurt me… not really.” You notice a protective glint in his eye and you quickly squeeze his hand. “I’m fine, ‘Toru. I don’t think… I don’t believe he could hurt me if he really wanted to.” His expression is unreadable, so you decide to refocus the conversation on the important detail: Yuji.
“He was asking about Yuji,” you add. “He knows somehow.”
“I’m not surprised,” Satoru replies simply, strangely unbothered by the information. “It’s a good thing you joined the team,” he then jokes.
You can tell he is trying to lighten the mood - to make you both feel more at ease given the events.
“Did he mention anything else?”
Your eyebrow quirks up. “Did he unload his evil genius plan, you mean? No.”
“Damn, that would've made things easier.”
You both let out a laugh, but it's hard to keep smiling when you're feeling so many things at once. And then you remember the towel wrapped around your body.
“I should change.”
***
After a few minutes of struggle, Satoru finally left your bedroom - skeptical to leave you alone in your current state. He promised he wouldn’t look while you changed (as if he hadn’t seen it before, which he noted) but you still ushered him out, leaving the door cracked as he heard you shuffle in the room.
He stood in the hallway, leaning against the wall while he waited for you. You were rambling on about something, obviously trying to keep yourself occupied. Truth be told, a part of him wasn’t concentrating on your discussion. He couldn’t get the image of how you looked when he found you out of his head. A flash of guilt and anger coursed through him, anger at himself and anger at Suguru, and guilt over it all.
“Come stay at my place,” he says suddenly.
You stop talking, one because he interrupted you and two because of his comment. Satoru almost went to open the door when another minute passed of silence, only to be met face to face with you as you swung the door open. You were no longer dressed in the towel, finally in the comfy sweats and t-shirt you had pulled out earlier.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Stay with me,” he says again.
You brush by him and towards your kitchen, him following close behind. You're quiet, thinking about his suggestion. A part of you understands the logic, the other part is realizing how potentially bad that idea could be. Then there is the part of you that is stubborn, the part that doesn’t want to fold into the fear.
“I can’t just uproot everything because Suguru made a house call,” you finally say, grabbing a glass and pouring yourself some wine.
Satoru hops up on your counter, watching you drink.
“Besides, even if I did, we wouldn’t know for how long I’d have to stay. And I shouldn’t be the priority here. Yuji should be.”
“Exactly why you should come stay with me. If you stay here by yourself, I’ll be too unfocused for Yuji and you.”
You flush from the honesty in his statement, averting your gaze as you let out a sigh.
“How about a compromise? I’ll stay at the school. I’ll be near Yuji and the others so I can keep an eye on things.”
Satoru contemplates your suggestion, remembering the year prior when Suguru didn’t have an issue coming on campus. It made him hesitate at the thought, especially since Yuji would be at risk on campus as well in the same way Yuuta was. Yet a year had passed and Suguru had remained in the shadows, having not stopped by the school since the incident in Kyoto. He wondered why Suguru was hiding, another mystery to unravel. Then he also remembers that even though Suguru hates regular people, he never had an issue with sorcerers, the last conversation he had with his friend ringing in his ears.
You poke his knee, bringing him back into focus. “I’m just going to pack a few things and stay at the school.”
“Y/n-”
You cut him off, raising your hand defiantly. “Satoru, I know you're used to getting what you want, but I’m staying at the school. I’ve done it before, I can do it again.”
He huffs at your stubbornness, jumping off the counter. “Fine, but I’m taking you there.”
“Fine.”
#getou suguru x reader#geto suguru#toxic attraction#toxic relationship#toxicsuguru#friends to lovers#enemies to lovers#enemies#suguru x you#satoru x reader#satoru x you#gojo satoru smut#suguru smut#jjk angst#jjk x y/n#jjk#Jujutsu Kaisen#angst#slow burn
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Wicked Games: Twelve
“What if I’m wrong? What if I lied?
What if I’ve dragged you here to my own dark night?
And what if I know? What if I see? There is a crack run right down the front of me
What if they’re right? What if we’re wrong?
What if I’ve lured you here with a siren song?
But if I be wrong, if I be right
Let me here with you tonight”
- If I Be Wrong by Wolf Larsen
Satoru eyes the unfamiliar box in his hand as he moves back around the desk, stopping in front of you. You’re frozen in place, eyes wide as your body tries to catch up how quickly your mind is reacting to the scenario in front of you.
Satoru never knew about the ring, about the proposal. It was something Suguru had kept private - for you and him only until he got a decision. He wasn’t really the one to make a big deal of things, make an extravagant show of proposing like his friend who would’ve rented out an entire building.
“Something you want to tell me?” He jokes as he cracks the box open and he notices the simple yet elegant ring inside. It was your style. His eyes flash up to you when you don’t say anything. You're staring at him, then at the box, then back at him. And then suddenly it clicks.
“Suguru,” he notes, face falling as the box snaps shut. It’s like that noise wakes you and you reach out, snatching both the box and tissues from his hands.
You suddenly feel more exposed and vulnerable than you were previously - when Satoru was buried between your legs.
“I should clean up,” you say softly, not meeting his gaze.
“I’ll wait outside,” is all Satoru says before he leaves you and your eyes flicker up to watch his retreating back.
You quickly clean yourself off and fix your dress, lip beginning to ache where you had broken the skin. The box sits on your desk as you move your jacket back on, trying to cover most of the hickeys beginning to form on your skin, and you can’t help but feel overwhelmed by everything. And it sucks, because now you can’t turn to your best friend since he’s in the middle of it and you can’t talk to Shoko because it’s not like she knows you’ve slept with Satoru - twice now - that Suguru proposed all those years ago and that you kissed him recently. You quickly move towards your desk, shoving the little black box back into your drawer and letting out a shaky breath. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
It takes you a good five minutes before you can will yourself out the door, finding Satoru leaning against the hallway opposite of you, head down as he looks focused on his phone.
“Do you want to go home?” he asks as you watch him, your hands clasped in front of you as you nervously play with your fingers.
“Yes.”
Your voice comes out softer than you’d like, a waiver to it that you notice makes him flinch - as if he’s the reason why you're acting like this. You want to reassure him it’s not him, it’s you, but he’s avoiding your gaze.
He wordlessly approaches you and holds out his hand for you to take. You do and in the one minute you were at school, you’ve returned to his expansive apartment. His hand falls from yours’ quickly and before you can say anything else he retreats to his bedroom.
***
He was a fucking idiot. He knew he shouldn’t have given in, shouldn’t have followed you to your office. One night should’ve stayed as one night, not whatever the Hell was happening now. But he had to be himself - pull at your strings to see if one night was meant to be something more.
He knew you still loved Suguru, as much as it pained you to admit it. You hadn’t seriously seen anyone since you and him had broken up and now Satoru understood why - marriage apparently had been on the table.
He’s pacing around the room, trying to control his emotions and cursed energy. He feels frustrated for how he reacted at the ring, for leaving you there how he did. He wasn’t the type of guy to just walk away after screwing someone and he certainly didn’t like the fact he had done it to you. He had told himself he was going to keep it casual - and that was certainly not casual.
He moved into his bathroom, leaning against the counter as he ran the water and head hung low. He tosses his glasses onto the counter, splashing his face as he tries to calm down.
It was always going to be Suguru. Even when he was no longer in the picture, even when you refused to join his side, your heart belonged to him.
Satoru can’t help it as a small wave of energy releases into the air and glass shatters on his mirror. You’re knocking on his bedroom door a minute later, concern in your voice.
“Satoru?” you ask.
“I’m fine,” is all he can say, a lie. Honestly, he’s not sure he can stay in the apartment right now. He feels guilty towards how he treated you and anger over the situtation. He’s afraid he’s just going to say or do the wrong thing again so he moves into his bedroom and quickly changes into something casual.
When he opens his bedroom door he finds you standing in front of it, still disheveled looking from before, eyes glassy and lip bruising.
“I’m going out,” he replies, brushing past you.
“‘Toru,” you trail behind him. You're not sure what to say or do, but you hate whatever this is and you want to mend it.
Satoru hates how his heart races from the nickname you’d given him so long ago, but then remembers: casual, just like any other girl.
“It was just sex, Y/n, relax,” he says, whirling on you with a fake smirk pulling at his lips. Pure nonchalance. “Only one time - remember?”
“The ring-”
“None of my business,” Satoru quickly interrupts, mostly because he’s afraid another wave of energy is going to come rolling off of him at the mere mention of it. “I’ll see you later.”
You go to the object but he snaps his fingers, disappearing before you can utter a single word.
You stare dumbfounded at where he once was before you look around the empty space, suddenly feeling like you did when he was gone for those months. Alone, tired, and scared. You move towards your bedroom, locking the door behind you.
***
You lay awake in your bed, hair thrown up in a bun with an oversized hoodie and sweats. Your sheets are buried around you as you stare out the window and into the night sky before you. It had started raining hours ago, a light drizzle that had begun to fade into the storm raging outside. A crack of thunder snaps and lightning fills the sky and you recall Suguru’s visit, your dream.
You hear stumbling footsteps coming from down the hall and a flash of panic hits you. You reach for the blade on your nightstand before softly moving towards your bedroom door, cracking it open as you slip outside. The power has gone out and you see another flash of lightning as you creep further into the living room. You see movement from the corner of your eye and whirl around, rushing whoever it is. They block your attacks, quickly tackling you to the ground. The lights flicker in the room as they come back on and your eyes adjust as you see -
“Jesus Christ Y/n,” Satoru huffs on top of you, hands pining your wrists down on each side.
Your breathing heavy below him. “I thought - I just” Your mind flashes to Suguru, to the curse-user. Satoru watches you, the evident anguish in your features. You eye him too - noticing a splash of red on the collar of his shirt, a cut to his usually perfect skin on his chin. The gin on his breath.
He pushes himself off you, sitting across from you on the floor.
“Where did you go?”
“Bar,” he hums out, standing slowly. He reaches a hand out to you, helping you up.
“You’re hurt,” you note, hand reaching out to him and hesitantly tracing his chin.
Satoru didn’t lose fights.
“Drank too much, made some friends,” he smirked. “They look worse than me.” He’s drunk.
“I believe you,” you sigh, noticing the dried blood on his knuckles.
“I can take care of this,” he gestures to his face, eyes glazed over as he turns to stumble away.
You let out an exhausted sigh, hoping that when Satoru would return he’d have a clear head to talk. You quickly realize that isn’t going to happen and gingerly grab his fingers, pulling him back to you as you guide him to his bedroom.
“Come on Wonder boy,” you murmur and you hear a pleasant hum emit behind you. He’s at least drunk enough to not be thinking about earlier or he’s ignoring it.
“Round two?” He teases behind you, steps tripping closer to you as you feel his chest press to your back. His arm wrapping around your waist, fingers playing with the waistband of your sweats.
You place your free hand over his own, trying to focus on guiding him without either of you falling. Although Satoru hated to drink it wasn’t your first time seeing him or handling him drunk. The man could be all hands as soon as alcohol hit his system - his arrogance increasing and his attitude dictating his actions. Angry? He’d get into a fist fight. Sad? He’d get clingy. Horny? Well then he’s thinking with his dick.
You shuffle him towards his bed and he lets you guide him onto the edge. He catches your wrist, trying to pull you towards him as his other hand lays low on your hip. He’s saying things that have you blushing and trying to avoid his gaze, to keep a level-head. You manage to wiggle out of his hold, moving towards his bathroom.
“Stay there.”
He mumbles something unintelligently in response, words you can barely make out, as you flick the light on in his bathroom and are abruptly met with the broken glass scattered on the sink and floor. A groan comes from the bedroom, shaking you from your thoughts as you refocus on the task at hand. You grab a hand towel and rinse it under water before returning back to Satoru and nestling between his spread legs. You reach for one of his hands, beginning to clean one off before turning your attention to the other.
“Your mirror’s broken,” you note quietly as Satoru watches you work.
“Hmm… what?” He has a dopey look on his face till the words register in his head. “Oh, that? Accident,” he replies, eyes avoiding you. He winces slightly as your fingers brush over a bruise forming on his skin.
You hum in response, not believing him. “Chin,” you instruct, grabbing it and tilting it up to look at you. With both of his hands now free they move to cradle the back of your thighs, flexing every now and again that has you feeling suddenly self-conscious, face flushing.
You're focusing intently on cleaning the blood on his face and the small amount on his neck, missing the way Satoru is looking at you intently.
“Are you okay?” he asks suddenly.
The question surprises you, deja vu hitting you as you reflect back to your earlier discussion with him. I’m managing.
You meet his gaze, chewing your lip as the word no toys at your lips. His eyebrows furrow and you shake your head, avoiding the question. “All done.”
You pull your wrist away, stepping away from him to throw the towel in his hamper. When you return to him you notice him clumsily removing his clothes. You move towards him, helping him change out of his shirt and pulling off his shoes. He shucks his pants off, clad in only his boxer-briefs as he stumbles towards his bed and under the covers.
A loud rumble of thunder emits throughout the room, lights flickering again in the space and Satoru notices you tense from the noise.
“Sleep with me,” he mumbles.
“I’ll be fine,” you lie, knowing you’ll likely be restless in your bed.
“Y/n,” he argues, flipping the covers down for you to crawl into the empty space.
You hesitate before moving towards his bed and tucking yourself in, thinking of the last time you slept in this bed - the roles reversed and the circumstances different.
You stare up at the ceiling, thoughts drifting to the man beside you. You had slept with him twice. Kissed him several times now. You had been jealous of his date and he was jealous of Nanami. On top of all of that, you had years of friendship and history between the two of you. Satoru was many things, but he was also your best friend. You had to stop lying to yourself and admit there was something more between you.
“Satoru -” you glance over to him, noticing him fast asleep beside you. He’s breathing deeply, mouth slightly ajar and arms curled under the pillow.
Your mouth shuts at the sight and you roll onto your side to face him, hands tucking under the pillow as your eyes slowly fall shut.
***
“You like it?”
You’re curled up against the strong figure of Suguru, examining the small band between your fingers. One arm is behind his head, propped up against the headboard of his bed, the other draped around your waist that is covered in his t-shirt, sheets tangled between you both. You listen to the beating of his heart, racing a bit from where your head rests, nervous about your answer.
“It’s beautiful,” you say honestly. You think back to his earlier words: I love you and I’ll love you till the end of time and then after that. We were made for each other and I… I want to spend the rest of our lives together. I want you by my side, through it all.
At the time you didn’t quite register the words as a proposal, still recovering from the sex you had just had with him as you emerged from the shower. But then he leaned over and pulled out a tiny black box and your feet stopped. He reached out, pulling you towards the bed until you were where you were now.
Suguru watches you patiently, waiting for your answer quietly. You slip the jewelry slowly onto your ring finger, twisting the band as you think to yourself. You loved him, loved him so much that it sometimes hurt. Especially when you thought about your differing opinions in the Jujutsu community. Suguru with little care for non-sorcerer's but still protecting them, his close-minded thoughts on them. Your admiration for them and the simplistic lives they have. The naivety their lack of abilities granted them. A part of you wishes that time and maturity would change his mind on the matter, that he would at least grow to not disdain them so much, but you know him.
Yet, despite that, you can’t imagine your life without him in it, but you’d never considered this. Not yet anyways. You were only 18, hadn’t even graduated yet.
You slip the band off and look up at him, hand cradling his jaw. “I love you so much and I want to spend my life with you, but-”
You notice the way his face falls slightly and you quickly shuffle forward, a soft kiss to his lips. “But we’re still young.” Your thumb strokes his cheekbone reassuringly. “It’s not a no, it’s just a not yet.”
You feel his fingers stroke your back and he moves to kiss your forehead, your eyes trying to discern his reaction to your answer. You weren’t dumb, you knew he had been off lately. More reserved as he spoke to Satoru less, took more solo missions. This was the first you had seen of him in two weeks. You had tried getting him to open up to no success.
“So long as you're my girl,” he smirks finally and you flush from the nickname given to you by him. You slip the ring back into the box, leaning over him as you set it on the nightstand before you pull back, hovering over his face with your own smile as you lean forward.
“Always.”
You startle awake, chest heaving as you shoot up. It had been awhile since you thought about that moment in your life and the promise you made to Suguru hits you like a brick.
You’re sweating, having fallen asleep with so many layers on, Satoru’s fancy silk sheets, and Satoru’s own body heat radiating off of him. He’s still passed out beside you and you realize it’s not even dawn yet, the sky still dark. You quietly slip out of the covers, pulling the hoodie off as you make your way to his bathroom. It’s stopped storming and you crack the door shut as you turn on the light, examining the mess in front of you as you begin to clean it up. A welcome distraction to the dream-like state of your memory.
Just as you begin to sweep some more shards into his trash, Satoru is cracking the door open behind you and he meets your gaze with a look that can only be described as pain. Likely a migraine from the booze, you think, and maybe more when he realizes what you’re doing.
“I hire help to do that,” he jokes, trying to keep it light as he remembers everything from last night and that day, guilt and lust weighing on his consciousness.
He had fucked you - again. You had kissed - again. And again Suguru was dictating both of your lives, your decisions and reactions - and he wasn’t even here. So he threw a tantrum and avoided you, went out and drank too much at a bar (which he told you), fucked some random girl in the bathroom in an effort to forget you (he left that part out - and it didn’t work), and proceeded to get into a bar fight without using his abilities (again, he had told you this).
“I don’t mind,” you shrug. He watches your back, notices the traces of faint scars on your shoulder blade from a case you and he did when you were teens - before he was good at healing himself and Shoko was still honing her practice; before Toji’s attempt on his life, and Suguru went darkside. He also notices the new hickies he left on your neck and shoulders, feeling his dick twitch at the memory, even when it ended how it did. Or the fact he nearly fucked you last night again, despite his anger and jealousy and guilt.
He catches your hand, motioning you out of the way as he finishes your task, a polite yet awkward smile on his lips. You were used to cocky Satoru, sociopathic Satoru, silly or protective Satoru - this Satoru felt like something else entirely, almost vulnerable as if he was stepping on the glass in his trash. His body feels so close given the course of events, the restlessness between you both as he gazes down at you.
“How’s your head?” You ask softly.
“Feels like a bomb dropped on it.” He winces for added effect, the lights irritating his eyes.
“You are the poster child for an anti-drugs ad,” you note and he smiles as your own attitude relaxes. He thinks that maybe if both ignore the tension it’ll be easier, like before.
You leave him to his business in the bathroom, grabbing your hoodie on the edge of his bed. When he leaves the room he is stretching, an exhausted yawn falling from his lips before moving back towards his bed.
“Hope you slept okay,” he said, burying his head in the pillow as he watched the side of your profile.
So long as you’re my girl…
You turn slightly so he doesn’t see your face. “Slept fine.” You glance over your shoulder at him, his hair messed up and bags under his eyes. Even in this state he looks handsome, perfect. “Thanks for letting me sleep here.”
He gives you a small genuine smile before he buries his head into his pillow, ignoring his throbbing head.
“Don’t mind,” he mumbles sleepily before you leave.
***
“...Students and I should be arriving tomorrow,” Askari said on the other line and you heard some chatter in the background, the sound of a stewardess offering drinks.
They were all on a private flight back from their wrapped up missions and it would be the first you would see of them since they left at the beginning of the year.
“Just be safe, all of you,” you replied, opening the door to your office. You looked around the space, some papers still knocked on the ground from being fucked on your desk.
“Of course. See you soon.”
You give your own goodbye before pocketing the device. Satoru was still passed out at his place, nursing an alcohol-induced migraine. You were fortunate to be on your own right now, eyes falling to where you knew your ring was tucked away as you went to chew your lip in thought. You winced from the action, a bruise having already formed.
A sudden knock on the door had you turning, Shoko popping her head in before she took in your appearance and the state of your office.
“Rough night?” she gauged.
You hadn’t come to work in your usual professional apparel, dressed casual for the day with the sole intent of trying to work things out and maybe help yourself in the process. You needed to talk to someone about everything, and with things with Satoru being so strange at the moment, you knew you needed to come clean.
“Do you have a minute?” you asked.
***
You took in a huff of the cigarette, warmth filling your chest as you managed not to cough. You found yourself laying on the medical trolley again, staring up at the ceiling. Shoko sat at your feet, smoking her own cigarette.
“So Gojo, huh?” she mumbled out in thought.
You let out a sigh before agreeing softly. You each had been sitting here for nearly an hour as you finally told her everything that had happened - from sleeping with Satoru, to kissing him, and the complex feelings you were beginning to have for him. You even discussed your dream of Suguru, the forest, and the late night visits you had with him before Kyoto that not even Satoru knew. Lastly, to add icing to the cake, you finally admitted you weren’t okay since you interacted with a curse-user and came across the mysterious curse.
And because Shoko is Shoko - she took it in stride and you felt terrible for not telling her sooner.
“I tell you all of that and Satoru is the takeaway?” you laugh, perplexed.
A small smile spreads across her lips - rare for the tired woman.
“I could tell something was wrong,” she admitted. “I’m a doctor, afterall. I was just waiting for you to open up, but I was always here if you needed me.” She inhales a drag as you watch her, grateful. “And Suguru proposed when we were still in school? Damn.”
You swing your legs off of her as you sit up, leaning against the wall beside her on the trolley.
“Yeah,” you whisper, then add more clearly: “It was about a week before he renounced the school, before the events at the village…” You think about how he was during the proposal and the events leading up and after. Suguru had always been a little dark, a little mysterious. But he could also be sensible and loving. The man he became was something you could have never anticipated. You let out a frustrated sigh, pinching your brow. “Things have been remarkably more complicated since he’s shown back up.”
“Sounds like he never really left,” Shoko observes.
You're quiet from her words, knowing they hold some truth. When Suguru was still recruiting, before he attacked Kyoto, you had seen him several times after breaking-up after discovering what he had done to the village and its civilians. It was hard each time, especially when it was still so fresh in the beginning. He actively tried to recruit you, messed with some part of your life when he saw you trying to move on or date someone else, or he made late night calls similar to the one you experienced when all of this started only a few months back.
He wasn’t always so… possessive to such an extreme or obsessive. You knew Suguru, even in his dark days now. He didn’t like to exhibit it, but he was an emotional man, passionate in every sense. He always wore the nonchalant facade well, but you knew how Suguru operated when it came to the things he loved or valued.
“No… no I suppose he didn’t,” you agree.
“Does Gojo know? About all the times?”
You shake your head, tears prick your eyes as you think about your former love and your complicated relationship with your best friend - and Suguru’s former best friend. “I never told him… and I know a selfish part of me did that because I hoped Suguru would change, that he’d change his mind. And I know it’s wrong."
“He was our friend. It wasn’t easy, and I remember how you and Gojo were. It nearly killed you both.” She takes another drag, pondering her thoughts before she exhales. “But Suguru is also dangerous. Sure, he’s charming, but the Suguru we knew… he’s gone.”
You nod as you wipe away a tear. You flick some of the ash building up on the cigarette into the trash can between you. Her words ring in your head the same way Satoru’s did the night on the bridge - the Suguru you knew died the night he left the school.
You both sit in silence, finishing up your cigarettes, letting the weight of your honesty sit between you both.
“Be careful with Gojo,” she finally says, looking over to you. “I don’t think either of you could handle this world without the other.”
Your mouth fell open from her words, a gentle squeeze on your knee before she jumped off the trolley and left you to your thoughts.
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@slynissa @hypernovaxx @depressio-milkshake @itsmeaudrieee @sristsblog @brennenscolby
#romance#jjk angst#JJK reader insert#jjk#jjk romance#angst#messylove#messyfriends#satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#toxic relationship#toxicsuguru#toxicreader#toxic attraction#toxicsatoru#friends to lovers#friends#enemies to lovers#situationship#satoru x you#gojo satoru#gojo x y/n x geto#suguru smut#suguru x you#geto suguru#reader-insert#Jujutsu Kaisen
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Wicked Games: Ten
“But what if it doesn’t end well, would you still stay?
What if I fuck it up like I always do and my shit gets in the way?
What if it doesn’t end well, would we still be fine?
When the world is over and we go under, would you still be mine?
Around the clock, we can talk for days
‘Bout how we saw it coming, another sign written on my face
‘Cause now my blood is pumpin’, can you hold me for a little while?
My skin is crawling, I feel vile”
- What if it doesn’t end well by Chloe Moriondo
Taglist:
@darkwizardofupsidedown @my7euphoria @breebarebears @slynissa @hypernovaxx
“So your hands just glowed?” Shoko is examining your fingers, tracing the lines as Yaga stands behind her, arms crossed.
It had been a while since your abilities evolved and grew in strength. From your knowledge growing up, you cursed energy was rooted in the energy of living things. You could temporarily take away an individual’s cursed energy or even a living being's own lifeforce, increasing your own strength in the process. You never thought your powers could give energy back.
You nod. “It was like Nanami was never injured to begin with.”
Your mind drifts to the memory of finding Nanami’s broken and lifeless form, the wounds you had seen. As soon as he was healed and you both had left with the curse user, he had disappeared on another mission.
Shoko glances back at Yaga who seems to be contemplating the information he is hearing. She sighs, eyes returning to you. “And you didn’t use the reverse technique?”
“Only on myself,” you reply, showing your scar on your thigh. “And obviously it wasn’t my finest work.”
Shoko’s face screws up in confusion, arms crossing as she takes a step back. You can tell a thought crosses her mind, but she keeps it to herself causing your own eyebrows to knit in confusion.
“Whatever it is, we’ll need to keep an eye on it. Train you for it. You’ll work with me,” Yaga notes. “In the meantime, you should return to your students.”
You hesitate for a moment as you watch Shoko, but finally relent, moving out of the infirmary and towards your office.
***
You haven’t heard from Satoru or Nanami in over two months now since the incident at the asylum. You surmised Satoru had wrapped him up in whatever he was doing, but the silence felt deafening for you.
You had been spending most of your time training the students for the Kyoto event or doing your own training with Yaga. Sometimes he would have you reflect on everything, but the thoughts usually left you worked up.
First Suguru, then Satoru, now this new ability. And you still couldn’t shake that feeling you had at the asylum as you left. Like someone or something was watching you, always there, right at the corner of your eye. It only added further anxiety to feelings you had at the knowledge that Suguru was out there somewhere too.
The constant edge you felt quickly turned you exhausted, yet on the nights you could sleep your dreams felt like that inflicted from the curse-user. Most times you wake up gasping for air and a cool sweat on your brow, unable to fall back asleep.
You were a mess by the time the Kyoto event came around - bags under your eyes, leg aching from fight, nerves fried. You had politely greeted Utahime and the Kyoto students when they arrived, Utahime not hiding the concerned look you had seen on so many others as of late.
You barely register how Panda mentions Satoru’s name before Satoru himself comes rushing towards you all, his familiar childish and cocky personality on display. The sight of him feels like whiplash in your state. The man who had left you months ago with a tender kiss and rare moment of honesty was now presumably back in your life. He seemed unaffected by everything that had transpired between you two and you can’t help but think that whatever had happened those few weeks you lived together must’ve been in your head. Satoru was being Satoru - the friend you had plainly told him you wanted him to be when you slept together all those nights ago.
You blink, realizing he has begun to hand out plushies to the Kyoto students, teasingly not giving Utahime one. You feel his eyes land on you and you look away, instead noticing the large box behind him.
When he sees you, he’s surprised by what he sees, a small frown pulling at his lips which he quickly hides at the sight of his other students. Still, he manages to quickly canvas your frame as you look away, your usual calm and professional demeanor is gone, and instead he feels like he is looking at a ghost. Your cheeks are sunken and the sparkle in your eyes seems to have diminished.
He hears Maki clear her throat and he remembers the box unopened behind him, twirling to the other side as he makes a show of opening it.
A moment passes before suddenly you watch in mutual shock as your students as Yuji Itadori emerges.
***
You're pretty sure a vein has burst in your head with the way it's throbbing. While Megumi and Nobara were both upset and dumbfounded to see Yuji alive, your eyes flickered back to Satoru in annoyance who didn’t seem to register that you were upset with him. You heard Yuji making a fuss in the distance, clearly upset that his friends didn’t react how he had anticipated.
The second years quickly stepped in, ushering the first years away to restrategize and welcome Yuji into the fold before anyone else could say or do something. You found yourself turning away, leaving the students to themselves and Satoru watching you go.
It doesn’t take long for him to catch up to you, finding you on the sofa in your space as you stare up at the ceiling, pillow held to your chest. He quickly notices how your curse energy feels different, how you feel different. He then sees how your hand falls to your tights-covered leg, skirt pooling around your thighs where your legs cross as you absently trace a line over the material.
“Stop staring at me,” you sigh, not meeting his gaze. You're frustrated and hurt. He had cut you out, presumably lied to you about Yuji, and seemed perfectly fine with it all.
He doesn’t look away though. You continue to toy with the scar on your leg, suddenly remembering the hole in Yuji’s own chest.
“How long did you know?”
He moves, squatting near your face and grabbing your chin, forcing you to meet his blindfolded gaze. For a minute you let yourself melt into the touch, the comfort and safety letting you momentarily forget about your anxiety waging inside of you.
“Since the day I left. After we argued,” he said after a moment, debating on what to tell you given your state.
You bite your bottom lip, tugging your chin from his grasp as you look away. You think back to the words shared between you, his actions as he leaves. His kiss, his honesty. The confusing feelings you had for him when it all happened - a moment and thought of maybe there was something more, that you weren’t just close friends who teased one another. But even now you wonder the validity of it all, recalling the events with Sakura. Had he simply been trying to get back into your good graces? It wouldn’t be his first time toying with your emotions to his benefit after he’s done something to clearly annoy you. You hate to admit it, but its’ a quality he shares with Suguru. Then you remember Shoko, who had come back shortly after you left and of Nanami disappearing.
“Who else?” you ask softly. You're trying to remain level-headed and calm.
He sighs, falling to his side as he leans against the couch on the floor, staring at the wall ahead of him. He shouldn’t really be surprised you would act this way. He had an idea of what had happened while he was away thanks to Shoko and even Nanami when it came to you, so rehashing this seemed pointless to him. But he’s also not stupid, recalling everything that had happened before that. Things were complicated.
“Who else, Satoru.” You repeat the words louder, sterner.
He says Shoko and Nanami and you're quiet, and he surmises you were simply seeking the validation from his answer, having come to the same conclusion yourself.
“It was the only way I could keep you both safe,” he explains. “Suguru believes he’s dead and if he comes asking you won’t know. It was the best solution given the circumstances.”
You sit up, legs swinging over to the side as you look down at your friend. You can understand the logic, but a part of you is frustrated he instead left you to believe Yuji had died. Left Megumi and Nobara to grieve. You understood the profession wasn’t a safe one, that students came and went like the wind. But there were other factors that came into play with Yuji, bigger stakes when he was a vessel to something incredibly dangerous. It was also why you didn’t work with younger students regularly - you felt like the more skilled they were, the less chance someone you had come to know would die so soon.
“If he comes asking…” you repeat the words, contemplating as you bristle at the insinuation it held and thinking about the care you had for your students. “Because I’m just going to tell him the truth?”
“Well you didn’t seem to have a problem kissing him, did you? The same man who's killed hundreds.”
Satoru knows he shouldn’t say it, but the words come tumbling out of his mouth quicker than he’d like. Things feel restless between you both. And he’s not your boyfriend, no matter what has happened between you both. Not to mention, despite who Suguru is now, at one point he was the closest thing Satoru had to family.
You stand and Satoru is soon standing too, looking down at you from his towering build. For once you don’t feel small from his presence, though, don’t feel his naturally powerful frame making you shy away from the command it held. You feel frustrated.
“I think you should leave,” you say coolly.
Satoru, however, is not backing down.
“What happened while I was away?” he asked instead.
“I did my job,” you reply, ignoring the fact you knew he was referencing your current state. If truly wanted to know more he could ask Ijchi who was bound to know everything by now. As childish as it was, you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of telling him everything like you normally would have. You don’t want him to know that despite your anger at him, you were more happy he was back.
“Y/n,” he warns. “We don’t know the full extent of why Suguru is interested in you and your abilities.”
You let out a tired sigh, the same thought plaguing you as you wished to understand what was happening to yourself. You notice the clock over his shoulder, nearly time for the event.
“I’m working on it. And I haven’t seen Suguru since-”
The forest.
You clear your throat. “The event should be starting soon, we should go join the others.”
You turn to move away from him but he grabs your wrist and you don’t pull away, despite your frustration. He pulls you towards him, his other hand reaching up and tracing the small scar from an accident on your cheekbone from when you had run through the forest and cut it. You can’t help the way you flush under his touch.
Satoru doesn’t say it, but he’s happy when he sees the color return to your face. He knows if he outwardly says something about your appearance that you may actually kill him.
“I missed you,” he smirked, however his voice conveys the rawness and softness his confidence hides.
For a moment you relent to the safety you feel in his presence. You roll your eyes, lightly pushing him away. “You missed antagonizing me.”
“Among other things.”
You decide to ignore him, easily picking up on the flirtatious undertones of his words and cock of his head. You retrieve your own arm, feeling his gaze on you as you retreat out the door before he finally joins your side.
***
When you join the others, Satoru all but forces you to sit beside him and you know him well enough that he’s trying to charm and annoy you into fully forgiving him.
“So how was your training?” you finally ask softly, eyes trained ahead of you. You feel Satoru look over at you.
“You first.”
You side eye him. “I asked you first.”
“No, technically, I did,” he replies cheekily, referring to your argument only moments ago.
You give an exasperated look. “You’re impossible.”
He’s quiet, finally relenting when he looks at you again, becoming serious. “I came across some special grade curses. I could handle them, of course, but it was like they were working together. They were incredibly intelligent… well up until I nearly killed him.” He smirks at the last bit at the memory of ripping the head off one of the curses, the surprise in both Yuji and its face when Satoru displayed his power.
You're surprised by his words. You hesitate for a moment, contemplating holding onto your own selfish reasons to not open up before finally relenting.
“Nanami and I came across a curse-user. Powerful. She knew Suguru.” You almost add how you nearly kill her, your reoccurring dreams, but instead you look outside as you suddenly begin to feel overwhelmed in the room. You still hadn’t told anyone about the dreams or your actions against the curse user. “I need some air.”
Satoru watches you as you leave, allowing you a moment on your own. He can already feel himself itching to chase after you, especially as you have finally begun to talk to him, until finally he gives in. He finds you outside sitting on the stone steps of the small porch. He sits beside you, and despite the large space, invades your own as his leg brushes against yours. You allow the silence to fester, playing with your fingers as he stretches his arms out behind him.
“You just-” you let out a frustrated sigh, head resting on your palm. The past weeks you had been holding everything together; containing the grief you felt for the sake of the students, the guilt over Suguru, the fear of losing more people. Everything had been locked away, and now on top of your recent injury and dreams, you can feel it bubbling to the surface despite the resolve to stay calm. “You let me think he was dead. You saw how I was when you came into my office and you just left and didn’t even reach out after all those months. You trusted everyone but me.”
You bury your head into your arms, Satoru watching you and for once he doesn’t have a witty remark to say. He wants to elope you in his arms and hold you close, let you cry into his shoulder but instead of being able to do so, Shoko wordlessly approaches behind him, motioning for him to head inside while she takes his place. He’s resistant, but knows his students’ deserve his attention. Shoko moves in beside you, hand resting between your shoulders. Unlike Satoru, she had been here to witness the chaos you had endured while he was away and she knew it was Hell.
“He trusts you,” she says after a moment, voice low. “He’s just… Gojo.”
You close your eyes at her words before looking back up at the landscape in front you. He was just Gojo. Right.
***
In the short while the event had started, shit began to unequivocally hit the fan. First all of the students’ tags burned up, then things went dark - literally. A giant curtain enclosed around the space where the students fought, barring out Satoru but allowing all others to enter.
You found yourself, Utahime, and Principal Gakuganji standing in front of the space, Satoru observing it as plans were drawn out. He didn’t like the idea of you entering behind the curtain, not after he had just returned and Yuji was already unaccounted for. But they were also your students. You weren’t going to allow a repeat of the events at the detention center.
You had separated from the others when entering the fold - Gakuganji focused on the individual making the curtain while you and Utahime dove deeper until eventually you each went your own way to cover more ground - her deeper into the forest, you towards a building you’d last seen Toge and the others.
It was quiet as you crept up on the building, footsteps soft and careful, canvassing the hallways. You came across no one - only silence. As you turned to leave you felt the familiar presence from the asylum. It was cursed energy - but as you really looked, you kept coming up short. Despite the panic you were feeling, you kept a level-head. You knew the dangers of letting your emotions get too out of hand with your work. You determined whatever it was, it wanted to remain hidden. And it had found its way here, which couldn’t be a coincidence.
“Quit hiding,” you hiss.
A sadistic laugh fills the space and the room feels like it’s molding around you, trapping you in. Suddenly an eyeball emerges from the wall, followed by several others all observing you. Miscellaneous mouths appear in a wide toothy grin.
“Who's hiding?” He smirks. A hand reaches up from the floor, wrapping around your ankle and startling you. “You have an interesting soul...” It’s pulling you under, the floor rippling beneath you.
He’s purring the last words as you slice through the hand, freeing yourself as you tumble backwards. You're confused from his words but before you can add more, the curse is interjecting, seemingly aware of something you’re not.
“Better go.”
You yelp a “wait” just as they disappear, the room suddenly flooding from light from the outdoors. The room shakes and you notice a flash of purple in the distance. Satoru and others.
You look around the room once more - now normal from whatever presence was in it before. Whatever it was, it felt powerful. After another moment you decided to leave, resolved to find the others.
***
“Can you please stop being mad at me?” Satoru whines, head flinging back dramatically as you open the door to your currently shared apartment. “Everybody is safe.”
You toss your keys on the table where your own items have slowly begun to build. In the few months you have been staying with Satoru, his home has been looking more and more like your own - especially in his absence. Your items are flung in the open foyer, a blanket from your place in his living room, and your mail gathering unopened on the counter.
You hear the door shut behind you as you slip off your heels and move further into the space. He follows your movements and you know you should let up on the guilt trip at this point, no matter how hurt you may be. You’ve kept things from Satoru too, from your past, things that may be deemed as major as a student secretly being alive. But you're still sensitive from everything else, and at times, more stubborn than him.
“That isn’t the point,” you say, although the words are more for yourself than him.
He trusts you… he’s just Gojo. Then: kissing him in the bathroom, him catching you after kissing Suguru, getting jealous over some random girl.
Even after you slept together Satoru told you things - even when you made the point it was a one time thing - which you refuse to admit, you’ve been rethinking. Things were different. How did sex not screw you up but everything else did?
You’re in your room by now, Satoru leaning against the doorway as he watches you, arms crossed. You just needed to get over this - whatever this was.
“What isn’t the point?”
“It’s… it’s nothing,” you sigh, a painted smile gracing your lips. You had bigger things to worry about then boys and relationships. You had students and a world to protect. “I’m just tired and… I guess I missed you too.”
You know he doesn’t quite believe your first statement, but the moment you finally admit you miss him causes a cocky smirk to grace his lips nonetheless. You roll your eyes, already regretting everything.
“What you miss?” he teased, moving towards you. “Was it our long talks? Me after working-out? My hands?” He wiggles his fingers for emphasis, then leans close, lips near your own, “My kisses or the se-”
You playfully shove his head away from your own as you duck away, although you know your face betrays you from the three shades of red you turn.
“I doubt you were without company while you were away,” you say, moving towards your closet as you remember Satoru and Sakura. Satoru moves towards your bed, dramatically falling onto it as his head hits the pillow.
Satoru mentally cringes from the memory of you catching him with Sakura, remembering the way you looked when you caught him. He knew he had royally fucked things up then, whatever moment you had shared prior after you kissed him in the club seemingly fading away for you. Any possibility of him. A part of him wanted to change that, while another part knew keeping his distance was safer for you both. Less complicated. The side that wanted you - as much as he didn’t want to admit it - often won in these battles. Besides, he was all powerful - surely he could have both? He remains silent, his intrusive thoughts slipping into his mind as he thinks of ways and things to say that would surely win you over.
When you emerge from the closet, clothes in hand, and no comeback from Satoru, you find him splayed out on your bed - as if he didn’t have his own. His chest rises and falls slowly and you realize, after what was probably an incredibly long few months for him, he has fallen asleep.
At first you're annoyed, deciding that you’ll kick him out, but then he shifts in his sleep and you swear you can see whatever kind of tension he has leaving his body.
You move into the bathroom and shower and change. The shirt you wear is baggy, your hair hanging loose and wet as your fingers fall to the exposed part of your thigh, tracing the scar there. You crawl into the bed beside him, leaning against your headboard as you watch him for a moment.
Your fingers drift to his face, carefully removing his blindfold, fingers hesitating for a moment as they traced his cheekbones before setting it on the bedside table. Mindlessly your hand returns to him, combing through his messy white locks in a comforting way and he lets out a pleased sigh from the action.
“Missed you,” Satoru repeats, arm flinging over your waist.
You only smile, allowing yourself this one semblance of calm with him, the rest of your worries fading away before your own eyes drift shut.
#jjk angst#angst#slow burn#jealosy#love triangle#friends to lovers#messylove#messyfriends#satoru x reader#gojo satoru#gojo satoru smut#gojo x y/n x geto#getou suguru x reader#toxic relationship#toxicsuguru#toxicsatoru#toxicreader#Jujutsu Kaisen#jjk#jjk romance#jjk x y/n
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Wicked Games: Eleven
“Cause I’m beggin’, beggin’ you
And put your loving hand out, baby
I’m beggin’, beggin’ you
And put your loving hand out, darling.
I need you to understand
Tried so hard to be your man
The kind of man you want in the end.”
- Beggin’ by Maenskin
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@slynissa @hypernovaxx
When Satoru stirs awake he realizes he’s not in his own bed, the sunlight filtering in through open curtains that cause his eyes to screw shut in annoyance.
He runs a hand down his face, realizing he is still in his own work uniform and he recalls yesterday evening. His head turns and finds the back of your frame to him, the blanket hanging low on the curve of your hips. The shirt you wore to bed has risen up slightly, exposing a small portion of your lower back. One of his arms is trapped under your body, your head lying on it and he realizes at some point in both of your sleep you must have shifted into a spooning position.
His own eyes drift further south, examining his own frame as he realizes his morning wood. You stir in your sleep beside him, turning over until you're facing him. Slowly your own eyes begin to open as you greet him with a groggy and confused pout.
“‘Toru?”
You weren’t really expecting him to be in your room in the morning.
“Hey,” he murmured. “We really need to stop making a habit of this.” He then teases.
Your eyes narrow, frown forming with a groan and only deepening further when you realize the noticeable tent in his pants and how close you two are.
“Satoru.” You roll away from him and out of the bed.
He seems unaffected, instead smirking as his now free arm comes beside his other and rests behind his head. He gives you a cheeky look and a wink.
“Want to help or…?”
You flush, recalling your own interactions with said appendage.
“You have a hand - use it,” you huff back.
“Didn’t realize you were into voyeurism,” he smirks, eyebrows wiggling.
“Not in here,” you snap, throwing the nearest object to you at him that only makes contact with his infinity and safely lands on the bed.
He throws his hands up in surrender, shuffling out of your bed as he moves to leave.
“If you change your mind -”
“OUT.”
You shut the door behind him, taking in a breath of air as you hear his feet retreat to his room. With your head perched against the door you can’t help but think about how you actually slept well last night. No night terrors or sudden panic attacks. Thankfully, you also didn’t have to go into work today - Satoru having trusted your duties over to Ijchi shortly after the events from yesterday. You admitted you felt guilty, but you also knew you needed a minute to relax - for your sake and the others.
You push away from the door and make a bee-line for the adjoining bathroom, resolved to begin your day.
***
“I’m going for a run.”
You are moving past Satoru who now sits in the living room, his uniform gone and in its place a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. His blindfold is absent, still sitting on your bedside table.
Satoru watches you stop in the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, eyes raking over your figure in your tight leggings and the t-shirt you had stolen from him two years ago. Its overwhelming on your body, tied on the side to better fit your frame and he can’t help but imagine you in only it.
“I’ll join you.”
You go to object, having forgotten about his bodyguard status in his absence, but then close your mouth. Truth be told, Mei Mei was much more lax about the whole thing and it was a welcome change of pace. However, after how well you slept last night and the ease Satoru brought to your recent anxiety, you found it hard to put up any resistance.
You wait for him near the front door where he joins your side a few minutes later. He’s exchanged his sweats for joggers, sunglasses now covering his eyes and running sneakers on.
He gives you a smirk and your eyebrow perks up curiously. "I’m forgiven then?”
You shrug, opening the door as you look at him over your shoulder. “Ask me again after you buy me lunch.”
He smiles following you out.
***
Running with Satoru was a mistake. The man’s stamina was insane and even when your own energy was replenished, his long legs had him running laps around you. By the time you each are stopping for rice bowls for lunch, you’re a sweating mess and he’s only got a light gleam on his skin. You're breathing erratically, leaning against a park bench as you watch him in the distance place your order. He knew you well enough to know that sort of thing.
He approaches holding two sealed bowls and chopsticks, finding pleasure in your current state. He knows he probably shouldn’t say something clever, but he can’t help himself.
“Nice to know I can still make you sweat.”
You roll your eyes, forcefully pulling the food from him as you sit down beside him. You realize you're near the koi pond you were with when you had brought up the topic of Suguru. You eat some of the food, eyes flickering to his side profile as he takes in the scenery before him and happily eats. You decide that if Satoru realizes your same thoughts about the koi pond, he’s not interested in discussing it. He never liked to think about his old friend.
You sit with him enjoying the silence as you both eat until finally Satoru cuts through it with an unexpected question.
“Are you okay?”
The food presently making its way to your mouth returns back to the bowl, your eyes looking over to him as you realize he’s looking at you now. You place your lunch between you both on the bench, thinking about his question. You suspected he already knew the answer.
“I’m managing,” you say. Managing felt like an understatement. If anything you felt like you were surviving, your mind and body having been overly-exerting itself non-stop. “But um, how was Yuji?”
He stretches on the bench, leaning his weight into the seat as his arms fall on the expanse of the back. His free hand falls behind you and you feel his fingers graze your back.
“He’s a fast learner,” he smiles. “I think Megumi might be jealous. Guess I’ll know more at the baseball game.”
You smile. You missed this. Your talk about his students, the simplicity of just being with one another.
“Right, that’s tonight,” you recall and you also are beginning to regret your decision to run. Granted you weren’t playing, but knowing Satoru he’d figure out a way to get you on the field. And you knew your limbs would hate you.
“Y/n… what exactly happened while I was away?”
“Satoru,” you let out an exhausted sigh, a warning tilt to your voice. “You already know.”
“Not from you.”
“Well the story doesn’t really change even when I tell it.” You really weren’t in the mood to think about your recent state of mind, not when you were finally unwinding. You stand, throwing out the remainder of your lunch when you feel your anxiety creep in again when you remember the curse you came across.
“We should go.”
“Y/n-” Satoru begins but you raise your hand, voice wavering a bit.
“Please Satoru, just leave it.”
You can tell he wants to press further but he submits for now, head falling back as he looks to the sky. He lets out a loud sigh before he looks back to you, a cocky smirk plastered back on his face.
“Race you home?”
***
You arrive at school separately from Satoru, Nanami surprising you when he texted offering to join you for the event.
Satoru had all but whined and pouted when you left your bedroom and explained you were leaving early, and his antics only grew when Nanami greeted you at the door.
He tried to hold back the scowl that fell on his lips when you greeted Nanami with a kiss to his cheek, explaining how you missed him and were glad to see him. It wasn’t like he had lied too, Satoru thinks.
You were dressed nice too - freshly showered and wearing a sundress that hugged you just right as it stopped mid-calf, a jacket thrown over the thin straps to keep you warm. You were starting to look healthier compared to the other day, happier.
“You look nice,” Nanami greeted and Satoru noticed how you flush from the statement.
What exactly happened while he was gone?
“Thanks,” you reply and then glance back at Satoru as you grab your set of keys on the table. “I’ll see you there?”
Satoru grumbles a yes as he watches you leave with Nanami, not missing the way you ask how he is with the door shutting behind you.
He’d just gotten back into your good graces, was finally seeing you act like yourself more, and then you up and leave without him? He’s annoyed. And jealous. However he tries to ignore that last feeling, recalling how well it worked out last time he tried to make you jealous and you wound up catching him with Sakura.
So instead he focuses on the fact you’re still not opening up to him when all he can think about is how Suguru appeared in your room all those nights ago - and he was the person you called. Not Nanami - him.
He goes to his room to change - noticing the cracked plaster in the wall from where he punched it, involuntarily flexing his hand from the memory.
He was resolved to get you to open up - even if that meant getting under your skin.
***
Nanami is sitting beside you as you watch Maki hit a home run, taking off as she runs around the bases. You cheer for her as she crosses home base, the man beside you clapping politely at the success. Outside of the dugout Satoru is talking to Yuji and the others, having made a beeline for his students.
“I was surprised you decided to come,” you note. Nanami hated his job, probably hated the school too and the corresponding functions that coincided with it.
He shrugs, leaning forward as he rests his elbows on his knees and clasps his hands together. He glances back at you, meeting your gaze from behind his glasses. “Shoko reached out - said it was off the clock.”
“Big baseball fan?”
He nods, a faint smile on his lips. “I enjoy the sport, yes.” He hesitates for a moment, then: “Besides, I trained Yuji - I’m interested to see his progress.”
A whistle blows in the air, catching your attention as you watch the students change positions. Yuji sits as the catcher, Satoru stands behind him. He momentarily looks back at you, eyes taking in whatever moment you were sharing with Nanami.
“Careful, you’ll make me think you enjoy your job,” you joke and you don’t miss the way the back of Nanami’s ears flush red, despite the stoic look on his face.
You laugh at his reaction and soon both of your attention is drawn back to the game as you watch the students compete. You catch your gaze falling on Satoru throughout the game: tall, athletic frame in a button down and slacks, his undivided attention on watching his students actions and decisions. You had to admit, it could be captivating watching him with his students. While he still often retained his mischievous nature, in rare moments like this he became serious and focused, the side of Satoru you knew who only wanted the best for them and this world. A change in the system and knowing it started here, at the school.
The sun was beginning to set when the game wrapped up - Tokyo having won and friends gathering around to make plans. Nanami had even gone to congratulate Yuji, the young man growing pleased when he saw one of his mentors. You smiled to yourself at the action before making your way back to your office to wrap up some of your own work with your students who were away. Some were expected to return soon given the recent outburst at the school so they could canvas the area closer to home.
You stand at your desk, back to the door as you shuffle through some new documents.
“How was your date?”
You spin to find Satoru standing near the entrance of the office, hands in his pockets as he observes you. You roll your eyes.
“It wasn’t a date.”
He whistles, stepping further into the space as he approaches you. “Does Nanami know that?”
With a shake of your head you turn your back to Satoru, placing the documents down. Your mind races back to the kiss in the bathroom and the similarity in those events. But you weren’t going to kiss him now - you were sober enough not to fall for his antics.
“Yes,” you answer truthfully. You turn back to him, arms crossing. “We were just catching up since he left.”
Satoru’s jaw ticks. “About?”
You shrug. “Life, cases. He wanted to check in on me after what happened and I wanted to make sure he was okay.”
You turn your back to Satoru again, thinking the discussion is over but are stopped from gathering another stack of documents when Satoru’s cool voice cuts through the air.
“So you’ll talk to Nanami but not me?” You have to admit, he sounds a bit hurt. He knows he’s being unreasonable, but at the moment he finds it difficult to act rationally.
You huff. Great, right back to square one. You move towards your office door and softly shut it to prevent any wandering listeners. You let out an exhausted laugh, hand moving your hair from your face. Why couldn’t he understand that you would talk to him when you were ready?
“Unbelievable… I can’t believe we’re doing this again,” you mumble and Satoru picks up on the words as he leans against your desk, knuckles turning white as he grips the edge of the desk tightly as he watches you.
“Well if you talked to me, then we wouldn’t be. I can’t help you if you act like this.”
“I didn’t ask for your help,” you snap back.
Satoru is quiet as he hangs his head, taking in your words before dramatically sucking in a breath of air as he tries to remain calm. A feat for him.
“Y/n, when I got back - you, your energy - everything was wrong.” His voice is sterner, softer. He sounds more calm than he did before, but you’ve known him long enough to notice the undertones of worry in his voice.
You make an exasperated noise as you shake your head, pacing away from the door. “Why can’t you just leave it alone?”
He surprises you when he pushes off the desk, approaching you dangerously close. “Because-” he stops himself and your brows knit together in confusion.
“Because why?”
He’s watching you intently behind his glasses. There were a lot of reasons why he wasn’t leaving it alone - many of which he wasn’t prepared to fess up to. So he goes to what feels like the easier answer, but he can’t help the nerves he feels and the way he gulps before saying it.
“Because I can’t lose you too.”
Oh. You feel yourself visibly soften from his words - suddenly feeling guilty as you recall Suguru and Amanai. Of his general past.
“You aren’t going to lose me,” you promise him reassuringly.
Satoru remains quiet and for once you can’t tell if he believes you. You stand up on your tiptoes, hand pressing to his cheek as you make him focus on you before placing a kiss to his other cheek and pulling back to look at his face. “I promise.”
A small smile tugs at his lips and you return it as his own hand comes up to cradle the one on his cheek in a surprising action that leaves you blushing. You again remember the bathroom, the kiss, then the almost kiss in your bedroom.
You are definitely not going to kiss him - you can’t kiss him. You were the one to stop things before anything could happen after sleeping together and you’ve already fucked it up once. Besides, there was no way it could be fair when you were still screwed up over Suguru.
Yet you aren’t pulling away from the close gap between you and Satoru and he seems to notice it too. Slowly he begins to lean forward and his lips ghost over yours in a delicate kiss.
This wasn’t his plan. Honestly, he came in wanting to just talk. But the look your give him now has his folding and he finds himself testing the waters. He smirks to himself when he thinks about Nanami probably wondering where you are and decides this is just an added bonus.
In a way it reminded you of the kiss you shared when you first slept together, the roles reversed as Satoru now grants you an out. When you don’t pull back he leans forward again, the kiss more passionate as his hand leaves your own and cradles your hips, fingers pressing into your sides in an almost-bruising grip as he pulls you flush to his body and leans over you, your feet falling flat to the ground once more. Your hands travel into his hair, pulling his lips closer to your own. When he pulls away your both breathing deeply, cheeks flushed and lips plump.
“Just this once?” he asks, surprising you with the words from all those years ago. You can’t help but nod before he’s kissing you again, spinning you around as he guides you backwards until your back hits your desk. His sunglasses land somewhere nearby as he removes them. His hands then trail lower, grazing over your ass as your own hands fall back onto the desk, assisting in hoisting you up onto the edge of it. His hands slide up your body again, pushing the jacket off your frame before he cups your jaw and cranes your neck to the side, hot kisses and love bites being made against your neck as you let out a pleased moan.
You know this probably isn’t a good idea. Definitely not a good idea. But you’d be lying if you say Satoru wasn’t good at this.
Your hands shuffle to pull his shirt out of his pants before they slip underneath, running across his abs that causes him to suck just a bit harder against your collarbone when your nails rake across him. Your hands reemerge as you begin to make work of his buttons and pull his shirt off.
“Fuck,” he mumbles.
His own hands begin to bunch up the skirt of your dress until it's pooled high around your thighs. He pulls away from leaving kisses on you, forehead falling against your own as your half-lidded gazes meet one another, his hand moving under the skirt as you feel it move higher on the inside of your thigh. Your skin burns from his touches and you moan as he squeezes your thigh dangerously close to your center. You lean forward to capture his lips on your own, but he pulls back with a teasing smirk each time. You go to pout, but your mouth falls open as his hand slips into your panties and you feel his finger graze your clit.
“There we go,” he smirks, watching you unravel as his finger draws infinity circles across the sensitive nub, whimpers and mewls leaving your lips as your breathing picks up. His thumb takes over as his hand slips lower and you feel two fingers press their way into your walls. He slowly pumps them and you grip his strong shoulders for support.
“Satoru - p-please,” you beg out.
He kisses your temple, continuing the ministrations as he watches your eyes squeeze shut, jaw slack. “What beautiful? What do you want?”
His voice is mischievous, but dark and husky. His dick aching in his pants.
“Faster please,” your eyes flicker up to him, pleadingly. He groans from the look you give him and kisses your forehead with a smile before complying, a loud moan escaping your lips as he suddenly picks up his speed, fingers curling just right as they hit that one spot in you he knew made your toes curl.
Your lips crash onto his once more, trying to silence yourself as you roll your hips into his palm, chasing your release. The room smells of sex and you feel embarresed at the slick sound between your legs, but it’s quickly taken over when you feel the coil in your stomach snap and your head flies back, a silent scream falling from your lips as your thighs trap Satoru’s hand between your legs. Satoru uses his other hand to splay across your back, holding you in front of him as your flushed chest heaves in front of him, your body trembling from the shock of your orgasm as he continues to guide you through it. When your legs begin to relax he pulls his hand away and he watches with a smirk as you twitch from the sensitivity of it.
“You ruined your panties,” he teases as you lean back into him, giving a gentle kiss on his lips.
“You ruined them,” you note back and he only gives you a cheeky look, before his fingers slip around the sides, pulling them down your legs.
You watch him kneel in front you, kissing the inside of your knee before his head begins to travel further up, butterfly kisses trailing up as your hands fall onto his hair when you feel his breath ghost over your center.
He licks his lips at the sight of you. His first real taste of you. You feel his tongue move through your folds and you jump from the sensation, still sensitive as you pull at his hair. It only earns a grunt from him as he continues to eat you out. You're not surprised when you discover Satoru is messy but meticulous with his tongue as your legs fall over his shoulders and you feel yourself fall back onto the desk as you stare at the ceiling breathing hard. It doesn’t take much until Satoru has you cumming again and you cover your mouth to smother the moan of his name falling from your lips. When he emerges leaning over your frame, his lips are glistening and wet, a satisfied look on his face as you grab his cheeks and pull him towards you, kissing him hungrily as he groans against your lips and you feel him rut against your center.
Your hands fall to his pants, making quick work of the button and zipper before he is helping you in shuffling them and his underwear just far enough down for his dick to spring free.
“I don’t have a condom,” he warns you.
“What about your office?” you ask him.
He gives you a teasing look and you roll your eyes.
“I’m not just fucking all the faculty.”
You bite your tongue as you remember Sakura, but quickly shake her from your thoughts.
“Pull out,” you tell him as you grab him and begin to align him to your center. You roll your hips down into him and his head falls into your shoulder with a groan at the feeling of it. God, he almost forgot how this felt.
“F-fuck, fine,” he agrees and he begins to slowly move his length into you, trying to give you time to adjust until finally he was buried to the hilt inside you. Your lips search for him once more as he begins to thrust in and out of you until finally all that can be heard in your office is the sound of skin hitting skin and moans. Your nail rake down the expanse of his back as you feel him shudder from the action, his thrusts becoming irregular for a moment from the action. He gives you a bruising kiss from the action before pulling away, repositioning himself as he now stands in front of you and still buried inside, your hips flush to his as his thrusts become fast and deep, and you're almost convinced the man is reaching your cervix. You reach out for something to grasp onto, your fingers curling over the handle of a drawer and your other hand wrapping around the wrist of one of his hands gripping your wrist. You feel a particularly loud moan approaching, and remembering your surroundings, bite your lip until you taste blood.
“S-sa-” you try to warn him, but you're cumming around him as your back arches and you feel his own thrusts becoming erratic. He pulls out suddenly, leaving a mess between your thighs before collapsing on top of you.
“Sh-shit, sorry,” he murmurs as you both gasp for air and you feel him lay a kiss on your shoulder.
“‘Is okay,” you murmur, the weight of the situation suddenly hitting you.
You said you weren’t going to kiss, yet you fucked him. Again. You wonder what’s going through his own brain, knowing this is now just another thing to be added to the list of problems. He didn’t do relationships and you were friends and you were still, quite possibly, in love with your ex and his former best friend. FUCK.
He moves off of you and is pulling his pants back up, throwing his shirt back on as he looks around the office for something to clean you up. He’s not quite sure where this puts each of you now and for once, he’s not sure he wants to talk about it. That would mean being real and honest about his feelings. You guys could simply just keep whatever this was going - the “just this one time” and the flirty moments. It would probably be safer in the long-run, he thinks. So he decides to act like he did all those years ago - like your any other girl he’s slept with - but you're not.
“Do you have tissues?” he asks, looking around the office.
“Drawer,” you mumble, motioning to your desk, as you slowly sit up and try to inspect that your dress wasn’t holding any incriminating evidence.
Satoru is buttoning his shirt as he moves around the space and opens the desk drawer you point to. He quickly notices the tissues and grabs them, but then his eyes land on something buried in the back of the drawer and he pulls it out.
You glance over your shoulder at him. “Did you-” Your voice catches in your throat as you notice the little black box in his hand - the little black box that held your ring from Suguru.
#jjk#Jujutsu Kaisen#jjk angst#jjk romance#jjk x y/n#satoru x reader#gojo satoru#gojo satoru smut#messyfriends#messylove#toxic relationship#toxic attraction#toxicsuguru#toxicsatoru#toxicreader#nanami kento#gojo x y/n x geto#geto suguru#getou suguru x reader#suguru smut#yandere#friends to lovers#enemies to lovers#slow burn
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Wicked Games: Five
“But you’re pulling me down
It feels like there’s oceans
Between you and me once again
We hide our emotions
Under the surface and try to pretend
But it feels like their oceans between you and me
And I want you
And I want you
And I always will”
- Oceans by Seafret
Nearly a week had passed since you had last seen Satoru. Not long after your tender moment at the Koi Pond did he abruptly tell you the next morning that he was going to be gone - away on his own mission. Leaving you to care for his students. Knowing Satoru, you should’ve expected him to utilize your new position in his career to his advantage.
You're brought back to the present as you watch the three proclaimed students training in front of you outside. Yuji squaring off against Nobara, and Megumi joining your side.
“Want to spar?” he asks you.
You hesitate for a moment, before nodding. The two of you take a position further from the others. Within a moments’ time you are blocking his blows, shifting around him effortlessly before he lands flat on his back. He looks up at you surprised, Yuji and Nobara now focused on you.
“I’m a special-grade,” you remind him, a small smile on your lips.
You notice the way Megumi’s eyes glint at the challenge and for a moment it reminds you of a young Satoru. He quickly stands, ready to square off against you once more.
“Megumi,” you warn with a sigh. He charges you again, more power behind his movements. You evade and dip, frustration growing in his features. You shift behind him, maneuvering him away from you.
You hear a familiar chuckle behind you, a chill running down your spine. You turn just in time to see Suguru standing on the outskirts of the training field. His hair is pulled back into a bun, a few strands framing his face. He’s wearing all black - black slacks, black long-sleeve shirt, black shoes. They are a stark contrast against his skin.
“Kid’s got moves,” he notes. “Nothing on you though.”
You keep your gaze trained on him, but the words that leave your lips are for the students. “Megumi, Nobara, Yuji - get out of here.”
Suguru pouts, eyes flickering to Yuji and Nobara who stand behind you. You surmise he’s registering their abilities, undoubtedly noticing Sukuna in Yuji. He remembers Megumi though, even if he hadn’t been in Satoru’s life all these years - he knows the son of Toji Fushiguru when he sees him.
You don’t like the way he is eyeing the students behind you - like they are prey. You aren’t enthused of having that look back on you, even when you think about all the times that it was used for something else entirely.
“Suguru,” you say, trying to gain his attention from the others.
His eyes flicker back to you at the sound of his name leaving your lips. In the same way you hate how he still affects you, he hates it too. You’ll always have a piece of him - always manage to distract him from his primary goal. He doesn’t think he could ever kill you, even when knows it would be easier for him, even when sometimes he wants to. He loves you too much.
“I don’t believe I’ve had the chance to meet your new protege,” he smirks.
You hear Yuji take a step forward behind you, he’s curious and has no knowledge of who Suguru is, unlike Megumi. Hell, even Nobara knows him, even when she grew up in the countryside.
You dare a glance back in his direction, your face serious. “Get out of here, now.”
Yuji isn’t dumb - he can tell you are scared. It makes him want to stay and he can tell Megumi is having a similar thought - even when Megumi know’s they should listen to you.
“I’m Geto Suguru,” Suguru says, gazing back to Yuji. He pauses, eyeing Yuji, practically tasting the curse energy rippling off of him from Sukuna. “And you are Sukuna’s vessel.”
Yuji doesn’t grant him the affirmation he is looking for, earning a wider smirk from Suguru. You move to block the line of sight of Yuji.
“Go, I will handle this,” you say for the last time, your voice stern and you hear Nobara murmuring behind you to tell the boys to follow her, the words Yaga being mentioned before the three finally leave after resistance from Yuji.
Suguru gives a casual wave in their direction before his eyes flicker back to you. God you look good. That night he was in your room. It took everything in him to not kiss you.
“You need to leave,” you warn him, but notices the waiver in your voice. He’s happy knowing you're still affected by him just as much. He represses a snicker. Sometimes time doesn’t heal the heart - not in either of your cases. Sometimes it makes things build and fester, ready to explode. You two had never quite left things finished anyways.
“You’re cute when you're protective,” he notes, “But you’ve never been able to beat me before.”
You remember training with Suguru as kids and you know it's true. Your ability to take other people's energy and life-force was on the other side of the coin to Suguru who can take cursed spirits. He manifested from the evil, you manifested from living beings and things. You hated your ability, but it made you unique and dangerous. Suguru always loved it. Always claimed there was beauty in the tragedy of it.
“Time’s have changed,” you reply simply. You still aren’t sure you could actually fight him and win - or that your heart would allow it. You figure if you lie and seem brave, then maybe you’ll somehow believe it.
You’ve always been stubborn, he knows that. It’s one of things he always found irritating and yet endearing about you. He used to love to bend you until you broke, because with him, he always knew what to say, what to do.
You hear footsteps running up behind you and you already know who it is - Yaga and other school officials. Strength in numbers. Suguru hears it too and knows it’s time he left, footsteps beginning to retreat into the forest behind him.
You feel a rush of irritation then, because as much as you still crave this stupid man, he’s put you in this stupid position to begin with and you don’t want him to get away. Your feet are chasing after him before you can stop yourself, following him into the woods. When the others’ approach you, you're gone.
***
Satoru lets out a satisfied groan, head pulling back as his hips jerk up. The warm mouth wrapped around him releases him with a distinct “pop”, a string of salvia following the girl’s mouth.
He had forgotten her name - some girl he had picked up at a bar after completing his mission. It was a hobby as of late to help him forget about you, to keep his own desires at bay. However he can’t help the way your features cross behind his closed eyes as he imagines it’s your mouth, your tongue working on his cock. It was shameless, but he didn’t care. He feels her hand wrap around his length, fisting him as her lips return to his tip.
“Fuck,” he mutters lowly.
Miss no-name keeps up the pace, the sucking, and your mind keeps flashing behind his eyes and soon enough he is grabbing the back of her hair and thrusting himself fully down her throat until she is gagging on him as he finishes. She swallows lewdly before standing up as she straddles him, rubbing her clothed crotch against his exposed one. His cock twitches from the overstimulation.
Suddenly Satoru’s phone rings and he sees the familiar name of Megumi across the screen. He almost doesn’t answer with the way the girl is grinding on top of him, but he changes his mind when he determines Megumi doesn’t call often so it must be important.
“Hello?” he asks, the girl sucking hickey’s along his neck. He places a hand on her hip to control her movements, slowing her down which earns a soft whine from her lips.
Megumi sounds less stoic than usual, more panic evident in his voice than usual. “Suguru showed up to the school, Y/n’s gone.”
Satoru’s hold on the girl in front of her turns to a vice grip, all but stopping her on his lap as he pulls back from her embrace. She pouts at him but he simply ignores her, fear and rage consuming him. “What?”
Megumi repeats his words, then explains everything to him. Satoru motions for the girl to get off him and she does with huff, clearly annoyed as he shoos her away in a motion to leave his hotel room. She calls him a jackass and tells her not to call her before grabbing her belongings and slamming the door shut. Satoru is barely listening to her as he listens to Megumi, pulling his pants back up and trying to remain calm because truth be told - he is freaking out. And not in a “I’m-panicking” kind of way, but a way that makes his skin bristle and his curse energy feels like it’s going to explode around him, killing all those caught in the cross-hair.
“I’ll be there soon,” he promises Megumi before hanging up, catching a glance of himself in the mirror before snapping his fingers and warping away.
***
You're in the middle of the woods and are definitely lost. You stopped running once you had gotten too far in, once you could no longer see the school behind you, surrounded by tall trees.
“Fuck,” you muttered to yourself looking around. You had lost Suguru too, which meant you needed to be careful.
You reach for your pocket, looking for your phone when you realize you had left it back on the training yard. Double fuck. You try to find some semblance of familiarity in the space, but your heart is racing and you're still thinking straight.
Suddenly an arm is looping around your waist and pulling you down, causing you to collapse onto your back when a huff of air escapes your lungs from surprise. Surguru is looking down at you, smirking.
“I’m still stronger.”
Was this a game to him? Unbelievable, you think. He always enjoyed the chase, you remember, the feeling of cat and mouse when fighting. You suppress the many emotions you are currently feeling, trying to focus on two things: (1) survival and (2) your anger.
You grab the cuff of his shirt and pull him towards you, surprising him as you maneuver yourself on top of him and hold him by the throat. He realizes the mistake he’s made, your exposed skin touching his own. That was all you needed if you wanted to use your abilities. Just some skin-on-skin contact and flick of your hand.
“I’m smarter,” you bite back.
He can’t help it - he actually smiles up at you and you hate him for it because you can’t fight the way your stomach does somersaults. His smile is still the same after all these years - after all the atrocious things he has done. You hated him. You missed him. And you’re starting to believe you may actually still love him - that you’ll never be able to stop. Fuck.
“Do it,” he finally says as he hand moves to your own, squeezing gently.
You're staring at each other, the silence deafening. Even in the woods you don’t hear the sound of trees moving from the wind or birds or anything. It’s just the two of you.
Your free hand is perched in the way you need to activate your method - one snap and the word’s “Vitality Depletion” and Suguru’s life force would begin to fade.
He squeezes your hand again, harder and it startles you. “Do. It.”
He knows you can’t, because he can’t really hurt you either.
“I hate you,” you murmur on top of him.
“No you don’t,” he responds easily, his voice softer. You feel like you see a shade of his former self - a side that isn’t quite as cruel.
“No, I don’t,” you agree after another moment of silence passes and you can feel the tears threatening to escape.
He uses this moment to his advantage as he suddenly pulls on your free arm, pulling you towards his face.
“I’ll never be free of you,” he says the words more to himself than you, a sad truth to you both as he watches you. His gloved hand traces the features of your face until he thumb is stroking your bottom lip.
“I know.”
He suddenly pulls you down, his lips crashing onto yours’. You only hesitate for a second before you kiss him back.
#toxicsuguru#getou suguru x reader#suguru x you#suguru smut#jjk angst#jjk#jjk x y/n#satoru x reader#gojo satoru#gojo satoru smut#gojo x y/n x geto#Jujutsu Kaisen#friends to lovers#enemies to lovers#angst#gojo x y/n
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Wicked Games: Eight
“It started out with kiss
How did it end up like this?
Only a kiss
It was only a kiss”
- Mr. Brightside by Run River North {Cover}
You were avoiding Satoru.
You had been purposely leaving for work early and spending late hours in your office. When you returned home you would beeline towards your room, avoiding his gaze or making up excuses to not talk to him. Thankfully, a few days after the kiss Satoru was sent away on a mission.
Nanami had brought you home, leaning against the door frame as you dug around in your bag for the spare keys Satoru had given you.
“You okay?” He asked. He had noticed your unusual silence on the way back, gaze focused on the buildings blurring by. He didn’t bring it up then, but when your mood didn’t shift even when you returned home he began to become more concerned.
You give a small shrug, keys in hand as you look intently at the lock on the door. “I’m fine.”
“Y/n,” Nanami began just as you swung the door open.
“Really, I’m fine Nanami. Thank you for bringing me home,” you gave him a polite smile. Then for good measure you joked, “I’m sure I was a good excuse to leave.”
You notice a small smile crack onto his features.
“Wow, a smile. I’m honored.”
He shakes his head. “If you're fine then I’ll go.”
“Perfectly fine,” you lie. You're definitely not fine. You had kissed your best friend and then ran away like an idiot. Not to mention only a few weeks ago you were rolling in the dirt with your ex turned enemy sucking face.
He doesn’t seem to believe you but he doesn’t press you further. He gives another polite goodbye, tells you to text him if something comes up, then leaves as you enter the dark apartment. You turn on some of the lights, heels now in one hand, as you make your way to your bedroom, pulling your hair down and running your hands through it. You almost make it to your bedroom door when the front door opens and you see Satoru’s familiar frame moving towards you. You swallow as you try to put on a brave face, entering your room as you toss the heels on the ground and turning just in time to see him in the doorway.
“You kissed me.”
“I was drunk,” you counter, knowing you were in fact not drunk. Sure, a little bubbly but your drinking and smoking had been tame for the evening - next to Nanami, you were probably the most sober. You're moving around the room, grabbing your pajamas and pulling your jewelry off as you put it on the nightstand- anything to keep you busy and avoiding Satoru’s gaze.
He hasn’t moved from the doorway when you finally dare a peek in his direction, his appearance seemingly more disheveled. His glasses have been removed, leaving his intense ocean gaze on you. He scoffs.
“Liar.”
You know he’s right. You were conflicted - thoughts of your friendship, your ex, and the history you shared with Satoru made things way too complicated for you right now. You didn’t want to be just friends with benefits, you value your friendship too much and you had said all those years that sleeping with him was only a one time thing. You didn’t want to lose him.
“I just got caught up in it all. If Nanami came in there I probably would’ve done the same thing,” you try to reason. Satoru clenches his jaw at the thought, irritation beginning to sink in.
He moves into the space as he approaches you, towering over you. You don’t back down, even when you feel yourself squirm under his gaze.
“I doubt that.”
You can tell he’s still somewhat drunk, the smell of gin on his breath. You aren’t ready for this conversation, unsure of how you’ll act or what you’ll say.
“Didn’t bring your date home?” you decide to ask, hoping to distract him.
Satoru sees through you however, six eyes and all. And even if he didn’t have the six eyes, he still would have realized you were hiding something. He had known you for over ten years now, had seen you at your best and worst.
“Y/n, you kissed me.”
He started moving forward until your back collided against the wall behind you. You gulped, peering up at him underneath your lashes. His hands came to rest beside your head, caging you in. Everything about him in this moment was overwhelming - his height; his muscular frame; his smell of rich cologne, with alcohol and weed on his breath; and lastly his piercing gaze.
“You kissed back,” you said softly.
He stared down at you, watching your face, your pretty eyes, before his eyes flickered to your lips. He knew he was in dangerous territory. Messing around with you, making you blush from his flirty behavior was one thing. Sure, he loved you, but aside from the one night you spent together, he isn’t sure he could actually speak the words to you, the idea of commitment terrifying him. Not to mention he knew you also still had feelings for Suguru. Yet, you were his mistake waiting to happen and God did he want to give in.
You're both breathing deeply, entranced in the moment. Maybe just one more night, he thinks. One more night of bliss, like you had asked all those nights ago. If you could ask why couldn’t he?
He begins to lean forward, lips nearly on yours’ when your phone suddenly rings. You blink, looking away as you clear your throat. Satoru’s head falls past your own, forehead resting on the wall as his breath fans your exposed shoulder.
“I should get that - it could be important,” you say quietly as it continues to ring and Satoru steps away.
He watches you answer the call, one of your students’ names coming off your lips. He’s hot and bothered and annoyed and he’s starting to really hate the kid who just cock-blocked him. You make a motion for him to leave and he does, pulling out his phone as he texts Sakura.
You spend the next couple of hours talking to the student who had called, informing you they had found a finger belonging to Sukuna. After some more instructions, a summary of how and where they found it, and if they were okay, you told the student to return to the school as soon as possible to meet with yourself and Yaga. You were also going to have to tell Satoru. Great.
You had since changed into your pajamas - a simple oversized t-shirt and shorts - exhaustion starting to set in as you moved out into the hallway. You figured you should let Satoru know now, in case he decided to warp to your student. Just as you moved to knock on his door you heard the distinct noise of moans and cries - specifically that of Satoru. You then heard another name - Sakura. Oh.
You feel a rush of emotions at the realization that as quickly as you had kissed, as quickly as something had happened, he had tossed you aside. It hurts, you realize, you're upset and jealous at his carelessness. You lowered your hand, prepared to turn away just as the door opened and Satoru emerged, underwear covering his body as he realized you were standing in the doorway. Sakura emerges behind him, a blanket wrapped around her frame as she hugs Satoru from behind, a smug look on her face as she sees you.
“Y/n,” Satoru wasn’t expecting you and you can tell. He notices the upset look on your face but you quickly hide it, appearance turning stoic.
“My student found another part of Sukuna, I thought you should know.”
His mouth opens, but he struggles to find the correct words because right now he could care less about Sukuna. All he knows is he is a fucking idiot. And you leave before he can find the chance to say anything else.
“Y/n?” Nanami is stirring your thoughts from the memory, watching as you pick at your lunch in front of you.
You glance up with a “hmm?”, not registering whatever he had asked you previously.
He eyes you carefully, leaning back in the patio chair. “Are you okay?”
You force a smile as you look at your friend.
“Yeah, just not very hungry.”
Nanami doesn’t push you, even as he knows you're lying. It was a part of your blossoming friendship you were thankful for - he never pushed or pried. He was patient with you. The same couldn’t necessarily be said of Satoru, who loved to pick and probe until you exploded.
“Any updates on Suguru?” he asks, deciding to change the subject.
You sigh, shaking your head. Your gaze falls on the park the restaurant is overlooking. You weren’t that far from the school.
“No. He’s been MIA for a while now,” you look back to him. “It makes me worried. Last time he got like this, he…” Your thoughts trail off to the village.
“I’m sure he’ll turn up sooner rather than later,” Nanami says. “Satoru is looking for him, along with others.”
Suddenly your phone rings and you answer it, Shoko’s name across the screen. The words that leave her lips nearly have you drop your phone.
“I have to get back to the school,” you scramble up, already moving your way out of the restaurant as Nanami quickly pays for the meal, chasing after you.
“Y/n wait,” he calls behind you.
However you don’t - because the only words that keep ringing in your head are: Yuji is dead. Yuji is dead.
***
You burst through the morgue door, Satoru looking up from the slab he sat on as he watched you enter. In front of him, Ijchi whirled to look at you. Shoko seemed to be absent at the moment and Nanami himself had been called away for a mission as you returned back to the campus.
That’s when you see it, the pink-haired sunshine boy with a white cloth draped over his body.
“It was a special grade,” Satoru says. “Megumi and Nobara are in the infirmary with Shoko right now… they should be alright, considering. From what Megumi told me, Yuji had to use Sukuna.”
You're moving towards the body, gently pulling the sheet back to see a gaping hole in Yuji’s chest where his heart once was. Then you notice your crying, a tear dropping on his lifeless body.
Satoru motions for Ijchi to leave and check on the others, before he moves towards you.
“I- I don’t understand.” You're in denial, you realize. You’d only known Yuji for a short time, but in that time you had grown to enjoy him and the optimism he brought to the otherwise chaotic and bleakness of a life full of curses. You look over Yuji once more, eyebrows furrowing together as you try to rationalize your thoughts.
Satoru had sent them on the mission, told you they would be fine before he left himself. This was not fine. You spun, glaring up at your friend.
“You told me they would be okay.”
“As far we knew it was a low-level curse… but it was one of the higher-ups. They found out Yuji was going, and because I managed to get his death suspended - knowing I was away, they took the opportunity…”
You know you shouldn’t lash out at him - it wasn’t really Satoru’s fault. You were angry at yourself, at the situation, at the higher-ups, at everything. But you couldn’t help it, your emotions getting the better of you as you in his own nonchalant appearance.
“Do you really have so little regard for the people around you, for your students?” your words are ice, your eyes cold. “Everything around you, everything you touch… it just dies or gets hurt or leaves. How can you not care?”
You regret the words immediately, mostly because you know Satoru does care, that he’s lost so much, so it’s easier to pretend he doesn’t. But instead of apologizing you remain quiet, letting an uncomfortable silence fill the room.
And Satoru, well Satoru is upset, but he can’t let it show. Mostly because of the words you spoke, he’s thought to. He just didn’t think you’d think it too.
You wipe the angry tears from your eyes. Fuck, you’ve screwed up.
The door swings open, Shoko enters the space and notices you and Satoru staring at one another.
“Did I interrupt something?”
“No, I was just leaving,” you say briskly, looking at Satoru a moment longer before you leave to check on Megumi and Nobara.
Satoru watches you disappear, his heart sinking in his chest. Great, he thinks.
***
You didn’t want to go home. Today had been a shit day. First your own personal chaos with Satoru, then Yuji dying, and Megumi and Nobara, who were laid up in the infirmary with serious battle wounds.
You weren’t proud of yourself. You had treated the one person who was honestly doing his best, who had the Jujutsu world on his shoulders, like crap. All because you couldn’t handle your emotions from the way your life was unraveling, at the fact Yuji had died, or because you can’t keep getting the image of Satoru and that girl out of your head. You were an awful person.
You pulled out a ring from your desk drawer, playing with it between your fingers, the lights in your office low as you dealt with a headache on top of everything. Said ring was a gift - a gift from Suguru before he left the school. It was an engagement ring actually - he had used it to propose with a week before he massacred a village. You hadn’t said yes when he asked initially, wanting time to think on it since you were both still so young. You knew you loved him, wanted to spend your life with him, but you’d honestly never considered marriage.
There’s a knock on your door and you slip the ring back into the drawer, as you softly say come in. You take in the familiar frame of Satoru, who shuts the door behind him and stands awkwardly by it.
“I might be gone for a while,” he says suddenly. “I’ve got to go take care of some things. Mei Mei will be here in the meantime while I’m gone.”
You move from behind your desk, stopping a few feet away from him. You really shouldn’t leave things how they are. Sure, Satoru got on your nerves and annoyed you, but you rarely fought and certainly not in the way you treated him. He turns to leave, but you stop him.
“I’m sorry,” you blurt the words out and he looks back over to you. “I shouldn’t - you're not those things ‘Toru, you don’t do those things.”
He smirks, scratching the back of his head but his voice is soft when he speaks. “No… no you were right. I can be… careless when it comes to people.” He’s quiet, then: “It’s easier that way.”
You're momentarily shocked by his admission. “Look, stay out of trouble while I’m gone, yeah? Don’t go running after Suguru if he shows up. Just… be safe. And keep an eye on the others.”
He’s silently pleading you’ll do as he asks, because his own plans - well they were starting to form and he couldn’t risk putting you in more danger. He’s watching you behind his covered eyes, and he’s thinking back to the night you caught him with Sakura, the night you kissed. This is the first you’ve really spoken since those events and now he has to leave. He’s not quite sure when he’ll see you next and as much as he hates to admit it, it kills him.
He watches your eyebrows knit in confusion at his words. And he thinks back to your words: just this one time, just tonight.
“Sato-” you begin to say his name, but then he surprises you as he moves towards you, hands cradling your cheeks as he leans towards you, pressing his lips to your forehead in a gentle kiss. Your brain barely registers what is going on before he pulls away, your eyes wide as you look up in shock.
“I’ll see you when I get back,” he murmurs and then disappears.
#satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo x y/n x geto#gojo x y/n#gojo satoru#toxicsatoru#toxicsuguru#toxic relationship#toxic attraction#Jujutsu Kaisen#jjk angst#jjk x y/n#jjk#jjk reader insert#romance#slow burn#enemies to lovers#friends to lovers#messylove#messyfriends#nanami kento#drama
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