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necroangelz · 14 days

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🪽 & 💉 please。。

I'm gonna pretend this didn't take me like 2 weeks to respond to again

『 💉 』

a kin memory

as Monika from ddlc, i remember two timelines/lives! one timeline follows the canon events of the game where i was a sentient entity trapped within the game. in the other timeline, i was a human girl living in like, a normal world, except i suffered a huuuge breakdown from heavy stress. something in me snapped and i began to see the world as lifeless and flat, and i thought i was stuck in a simulation or video game of some sorts where everything and everyone was fake and i was the only real being. it was.... very hard, as you can probably guess, but with professional help and support from the other club members i got better

『 🪽 』

infodump about an oc

@yaoimurder hi squid I'm tagging uu here bc this is where i ramble about that vampire oc i mentioned ages ago, if uu remember that!!! read on if uu'd like (: my oc infodumps are very long and i mention almost EVERYTHING about them so uu can just read the basic info only lol

her name is midah she is my babygirl. she's also my first (and only) empires SMP oc and i ship her w my f/o (mythicalsausage s1)!!

picture #1 is much more accurate to how midah looks but picture #2 includes details about midah not present in the other photo, such as her red vial necklace, flowers on her cheekbones, and silly little hat

since she's an oc for a series I'll mention stuff that some might not know about, im too lazy to explain everything though so if anyone's curious at all just ask :3

okay midah's backstory is a LIIITTLE murky bc i mainly use her for vague-daydreaming purposes. anyway shes an assassin sorceress who practices blood magic and other types of magic (such as offensive fire Magic that involves creating and manipulating white fire). i got the idea for her name from the line, "touch me, midas, make me part of your design," from my ordinary life. other than that though, her character/story doesn't have much connection to the mythology figure midas. it's just her name that's connected to him. her name is pronounced like midas without the "s", or like the name Micah.

midah is half vampire and half flower elf. i don't really have info on what a "flower elf" is exactly, i don't think i wrote down the info for that, but basically it's just. Elf type connected to Flowers. and flowers often grow on (and maybe in...) their bodies. this can be seen in the red roses that grow on midah's cheekbones. help me my brain is coming up with ideas fur this elf type as i type this but I'm too tired to really focus on that and too focused on finishing this rambles

shes brave, strong, self assured of her own capabilities, tbh for the most part she's a normal person with not much mental and emotional problems, and she cares deeply for those she loves (like a certain mythical j. sausage... aka my f/o ever) she cares deeply to the point of sacrifice but hey, anything for true love amirite... shes also usually the voice of logic and reason compared to sausage but she doesn't try to stop his antics (until his antics start getting a little... demonic.) she totally tops sausage btw. shes also older than him by a bit and she's much taller than him (she's like 7ft tall)

anyway midah isn't very affected by the sunlight BUT she does need to drink blood every now and then, otherwise she gets a bit Quirky (aggressive, uncontrollable monsterlike behavior, and also she starts feeling a lot of physical pain) blood is like a Huge thing for her. she can perform rituals using blood. she wears a vial of blood tied to a necklace for good luck. she has a special bond with the blood sheep

wait what the fuck is a blood sheep? they're creatures from empires SMP s1, particularly the mythland empire (cough cough, that's the main setting of midah's "story") basically they're just Minecraft sheep dyed red. but lorewise they're mysterious creatures who have inhabited mythland for a very long time. they exhibit erratic behavior and sometimes display aggression to other beings. their blood and guts are also very useful for rituals! the blood sheep like midah a lot. they follow her around and nuzzle her like docile farm sheep and sometimes she can communicate with them and they follow her orders. they also protect her FIERCELY against anyone

the vial midah wears around her neck is filled with the blood of a sacrificed blood sheep. she wears it for good luck but replaces it every now and then because the luck can degrade and eventually attract bad luck instead

so yeah i have a lot of different storylines i imagined for midah and ill try to go over them briefly (I'll totally not type like 6 more paragraphs)

- backstory #1 explaining how sausage and midah met: midah moves to mythland and works there as a regular farmer at first and then attempts to join the assassin's guild managed by sausage. she expresses interest in being an assassin and spy. sausage is unsure of her at first,but hes intrigued by her, so he tests her with an easy normal mission: assassinating codfather Jimmy in the empire next door and bringing back his head. yeah that's totally not, like, the beginning of a war and political feud or something. so midah sneaks to the codlands, successfully kills Jimmy, returns with his head, and gets accepted into the guild. at the beginning of this backstory she puts on this facade of a totally unassuming and regular citizen who doesn't seem to have any fighting capabilities, let alone the capability to fight with magic and perform rituals, but then time passes and more and more is revealed about her and it's like Wow she's not who she seems to be. at all. and she quits her farmer job and goes all in on the assassin gig but does other stuff on the side too. and falls in love with saus along the way LOL

- midah x saus backstory #2: they're ~ childhood friends ~ who have been separated for like more than a decade and reunite when midah moves back to mythland. (i envisioned this scene in my head actually—a few days before returning to mythland, midah sends sausage tons and tons of letters sealed within a thick envelope, talking about her plans to return to mythland and why. and also updating him on what's been going on in her life the past decade or so. then on the day she arrives in mythland, they have one of those cute cliche scenes where they run towards each other on a long path and hug each other at the middle. and they cry a bit and talk and marvel about how long its been since they last saw each other. its really sweet ugh)

in this backstory midah was actually part of one of mythland's noble families. i made up some lore where mythland used to be ruled by four noble families (among them were house sausage, which is where sausage comes from duh, and house lavendar, where midah comes from, and yea it's intentionally spelled that way). the noble families/houses went to war with each other for power over mythland and the other two houses were defeated. most members of house lavendar left of their own accord and the rest that remained renounced their noble lineage, leaving house sausage who became the ruling family of mythland. the members of house lavendar specialized in blood magic and a lot of advanced complex blood spells were created by them. hence they have connections to the blood sheep in some way.

i like the longtime friends/allies to lovers dynamic that's going on in backstory #2 (: backstory #1 is still cool in its own way, strangers to lovers is nice, getting to know each other on purpose bc uu find each other intriguing is nice, even though uu might think uur very different people at first, uu get to know the other person a bit more and uu find out things about them and uu realize uur not so different after all ^_^ i read smtg about that once, about loving each other on purpose and choosing to love each other even though uu don't have years and years of history with the other person, and uu grew up completely without them and uur roots aren't tangled with theirs. but still uu love them. and that's very beautiful

okay umm this is getting to be a lot lol i think I'll cap it here, maybe the next time someone sends a 🪽 emoji I'll do a pt2 bc i still have more to say LOL

#🎮﹕ press start 𝜗𝜚 ︵

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3dayweeknd · 1 year

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Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you'd like to know better!

tagged by @ryanisreallytryin thank uu<33

what book are you currently reading?

none lol. i swear i’m gonna open one before the break ends but i havent gotten to it oops

what do you usually wear?

im ngl i’ve been really lazy over winter break and it’s been mostly pjs and maybe e crop top lmao. but i always have earrings and a necklace on or else i feel naked lol

how tall are you?

5'5"!!!

what’s your star sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

libra and it’s the same as will smith lol

do you go by your name or a nickname?

i go by my given first name i only have a vietnamese nickname for at home/with family

did you grow up to become what you wanted to be as a child?

idk lmao im not pursuing art/music like i wanted to but i think child me would think doctor/vet is pretty cool so

what’s something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at?

good: being sleepy, bad: talking

if you draw/write, or create in any way, what's your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?

not in 2023 but i did a quick drawing of a rabbit in like november and im happy with it! i made a couple jewelry pieces too but not sure how many i did in the last year

dogs or cats?

i dont discriminate but i think im a little more comfortable around dogs just cuz i never had cats. i’ll still pet the hell out of either though

what's something you would like to create content for?

idk for me i guess lmao but i dont really have time

what’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

the squish of horsie muzzles. cuz im working with the horses and i cannot get enough of how squishy they are. they are so fucking squishy

what's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

umm maybe my social life lmao it hasnt really changed that much as i started university but i mean i still made some progress it’s just really teeny tiny and still quite lonely but its ok

what’s a hidden talent of yours?

idk lmao umm i think im kind of mediocre at everything like im an all arounder dont have any specific talents

what's something you wish to have at this moment?

a fat check lol (pls)

ok im done hehe umm idk who to tag cuz i dont really see a lot of my mutuals do these. i tag @stratocxster not sure who else

#tag games #tag game

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f-ngrl · 4 years

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get to know me tag :)

tagged by @vangochild thank uu ♥ :)

what do you prefer to be called name wise?

just my first name anna is fine :D

when is your birthday?

may 2nd :)

where do you live?

in/on(??) the countrysiiide it’s nice :)

three things you are doing right now?

drinking tea, typing, breathing

four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

four! i don’t really participate much in fandoms i’m just a fan by myself :’D i’ve been most active as an ikonic but other than that.. nothing much^^

how’s the pandemic treating you?

i’m fine it’s not much different than before. i wish i had some library-like place to go and get stuff done but compared to the problems other ppl are facing.:( i can’t complain

a song you can’t stop listening to right now?

this whole album by f’club I’M SO IN LOVE

recommend a movie?

no i haven’t seen any in ages

how old are you?

school, university, occupation, other?

still uni :P (it’s ok in my area :P)

do you prefer hot or cold? weather wise?

hot is still better than cold

name one fact others may not know about you?

?? can’t come up with anything. i think i’ve already overshared everything on tumblr xD

are you shy?

only if i think the other person is much cooler than me or of a higher rank, like people whose position i want to achieve job-wise i panic and don’t wanna say anything stupid and end up doing exactly that :D

do you have any preferred pronouns?

she/her i guess

any pet peeves?

(i had to look this up eng is not my 1st language idk if i got it right) i try to be chill but if someone says sth sexist or racist even if they’re just dumb and “””don’t mean it in a negative way”“” i can’t handle it it’s soooo upsetting?

whats your favorite “dere” type?

i don’t know these and too lazy to look them up :P

rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.

9? i’m pretty happy rn :)

what’s your main blog?

@koceans yeah they never let me tag it thx tumblr. this is where i put my photos (since some people ask: yes i took them, i’m not a thief :P)

list your side blogs and what they are used for.

@jukkaettda for kpop, mainly ikon atm

@hiwmhi for photography/art/aes reblogs

@xtcfuzghikjnbc for kdramas

is there anything you think people need to know about you before being friends with you?

not much, let‘s be friends! i can be friends with pretty much anyone even if we’re different or from different cultures. except if you’re sexist, racist or neoliberalist(=think poor ppl are lazy or sth) and don’t wanna learn then leave me alone i don’t have energy for u (but ig that’s unlikely on tumblr^^)

tagging @fr-msfrh @freyja-333 @nikiikor @heart-bleeding-autism-angel @no-openflames and anyone who wants to! only if you have time & feel like doing it of course :)

#tag game

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magioftheseas · 5 years

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Not Too Hot, Not Too Cold

Summary: In which Matsuda and Komaeda clean themselves off in the public bath. It's clean, I tell you, CLEAN!

Rating: PG (?)

Warnings: I mean two boys are taking a bath but it’s non-sexual and it’s...a bath. There are some decriptions of the nudity and scarring but it’s clinical.

Notes: Ah yes, the mandatory bathing event that comes with every killing game. Honestly it’s fairly tame and I admit I just really like writing people taking baths. I just love baths. But yeah, this one takes place immediately after Chapter 10. It’s short and sweet but I enjoyed writing it, ehe.

Read this fic among others HERE

Main story is HERE

Commission? Donate?

Just undressing was a bit of an endeavor with how much his shirt got stuck to his skin. It was a hassle to drag off, and the tag in the back was fucking scratchy as shit. Grumbling, Matsuda practically yanked it off, tossing it aside. He moved onto his pants, even more of a hassle due to the texture and scowled all the while.

“Do you need help, Matsuda-kun?”

“No, fuck off.”

Komaeda giggles in response and Matsuda doesn’t look at him but at the set of clothes set delicately aside. Shirt, pants, and boxers all daintily folded with the ridiculous jacket hung up lovingly. Compared to his heap on the group currently burying his slippers. The orderliness annoys him for several reasons, but he’s not in a particularly introspective mood right now so he lets it slide.

Komaeda had already turned on the shower, humming and checking the temperature. Matsuda stole a glance at his bare shoulders, noting that without extra layers, Komaeda Nagito was almost disgustingly frail. The steam did little to obscure that, but Matsuda quickly directed his attention to wiping the moisture off his forehead rather than overthinking as he was prone to do.

If I had let him get tied up, would he have actually survived?

He shouldn’t think about that.

Also, he caused two deaths yesterday and is humming a damn tune. But, hey, we all cope in different ways. Urgh.

He shouldn’t think about that, either. While a shower was one of the more ideal places to get ill, he did want to just bathe and wash everything away rather than creating a larger mess.

Even though I’m a mess of a human being even without that damn basket case over there.

Ha. Ha.

“Matsuda-kun, the water’s ready!”

Who’s responsible for who, here?

With a sigh, Matsuda dispensed the last of his clothes into the misery heap and made his way over. Komaeda handed him the shower nozzle cheerfully with his face and hands both looking awfully red.

Matsuda checked the water and nearly screamed from the immediate, searing burn.

“What the fuck, how big is your death wish?!”

“Oh,” Komaeda intoned, pulling the water away and staring at the nozzle in confusion. “Too hot or too cold?”

“Hot! Way too hot! Are you trying to burn yourself alive?! Wasn’t Hanamura enough?!”

Urgh, and now he felt sick again.

“It felt fine to me,” Komaeda muttered, almost curiously. He puts his hand under the spray. “Mm.”

Matsuda yanked his hand away by the wrist, expression dark.

“The least you can do is take me by my fucking word.”

So he can’t feel it. That’s great. That’s just great. He’s bad at guilt, grief, and heat. What a combination. But, I can’t exactly be surprised.

Sighing, he took over the shower and twisted the knob so that it was more suitably lukewarm. He personally preferred them on the cold side because he was less likely to fall asleep that way, but he didn’t want to give the idiot he was in charge of a fucking stroke.

“Sorry, Matsuda-kun.” Komaeda ducked his head, looking apologetic at least. This guy and his standards. Matsuda simply rolled his eyes.

“Do you never notice blisters?”

“Oh, I get them sometimes. Why?” Komaeda tilted his head, smile stupid and innocent. “It’s the same with bruises.”

“Understandable,” Matsuda grumbled before spraying Komaeda in the face. “Aah, it looks like I’m gonna have my work cut out for me.”

Komaeda cried out, gurgling his name. When Matsuda pulled back, he was groaned and covering his face.

“Uu, it got up my nose.”

“Ah.” Matsuda clicked his tongue, and he couldn’t brush off the rising heat in his cheeks as being the fault of the water. Dammit. “Sorry about that. Turn around. Let’s just start rinsing you off.”

“M-Mm?” Komaeda blinked at him blearily. “I can do that myself, Matsuda-kun.”

“Did I fucking stutter? I can’t even trust you to not eat soap with how you act sometimes.”

“I wouldn’t do that.” A pause. “I can’t even see how that would serve any higher purpose. Really, if anyone should do that, it should be Matsuda-kun.”

“Fuck off.”

Giggling at his inane joke, Komaeda obeyed and turned around. Matsuda’s gaze ran up and down. Every contour of his spinal cord and shoulder blades stuck out, and even over his hips, the skin seemed to be stretched over thin. Komaeda still hummed cheerfully, squirting shampoo into his hand and lathering his hair.

“That melody,” Matsuda found himself murmuring. “I guess it’s not terrible.”

“Aha, thank you.” Even tossed carelessly over his shoulder, Komaeda’s smile was painfully bright. “It’s a lullaby that a nurse used to sing for me.”

Not your mom?

His chest clenched at the thought.

Then again, do I even remember her lullabies?

“Do you know any lullabies, Matsuda-kun?”

“Haah? What kind of question is that?”

“I just,” Komaeda chuckled, turned away with pink ears. “Whenever you remark on something, I can’t help but wonder about the significance of it.”

Komaeda’s hands dropped to his lap, head tilted back. Getting the message, Matsuda turned the spray back on him to rinse out the soap. Without thinking, he runs his own fingers through the ivory strands to be thorough. As one would expect, the hair was thin, frail, and easy to pull out if he wasn’t careful.

“Mm, Matsuda-kun,” Komaeda hums happily. “So cleansing.”

“If you make it weird again, I won’t hesitate to spray your face.”

“Uwah! Please don’t!” A light laugh tinged with weariness. “I really didn’t enjoy the previous time.”

“So there’s your limit on your self-destructive tendencies, huh?”

“I don’t like to be hurt without purpose, Matsuda-kun!”

“I see.”

He wanted to scoff but instead bit his tongue.

A fucking mess I got myself into, that’s for damn sure.

All the same, he finishes with Komaeda’s hair and moves on to scrub his back. Komaeda shudders, flushing for some reason, and Matsuda avoids his stare. Instead, he observes the various scars on the other’s body. Some of them were surgical scars. He could tell they were the work of amateurs and it pissed him off considerably.

“U-Um, Matsuda-kun? You really don’t have to go this far.”

“With how pitiful you are, you’d sprain something by accident if I just left you on your own,” he retorted. “Besides, it’s easier this way. Do the same for me next because I really don’t want to expend this kind of effort on myself.”

“Aha,” Komaeda gasped before nodding cheerily. “That’s so like you. It’s still the highest honor to ask of from someone like me!”

“Not really.”

If I end up falling asleep, I’m hoping this idiot has the sense to wake me up, at least.

Komaeda was still giggling and fawning over the idea and he may have made a mistake, but Matsuda was a stubborn enough guy to commit. And whatever regret there was, it wasn’t enough to overcome his sheer laziness and disinterest in maintaining an acceptable level of personal hygiene.

“Hm, hm.”

He was actually starting to doze off already.

“Oh, Matsuda-kun, I’m not done washing myself off yet!” Komaeda exclaimed, aghast. “Ah, just let me take the nozzle back to finish.”

He was tired enough to comply, sitting down and laying his cheek against his knees with a groan.

“Ugh. The day hasn’t even truly started yet. That’s fucking great.”

“Chin up, Matsuda-kun! As an Ultimate, you have to keep looking unwaveringly towards the future.”

“Ew.”

And then, Komaeda was the one to spray him in the face. The ensuing water fight after that, with Matsuda cursing and Komaeda chortling, was more than enough to get his spirits up in a manner of speaking.

But even after the water took away all the sweat, dirt, and a little bit of blood, it sure as hell didn’t lighten up the overall situation. Still, Matsuda supposed he felt a little more capable to handle it, even with a beaming nuisance trailing after him.

#yasuke matsuda #matsuda yasuke #nagito komaeda #komaeda nagito #MatsuKoma #Protag Matsun #Magi fics #I really did try to exert self-control and am I going to be thanked for it?#Probably not

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lcnguor · 4 years

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated? YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO.

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon? — Since she is an OC with her own lore I would say pretty much . Of course there are some heres and theres and she changed a lot from the first time I dragged her out of the void of my head . I originally wanted to make more of a gag character but ended up taking too much of the screen if I’m honest . but of course , since there is many other lores and crossovers are a must , some things change once or twice .

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — Nora is a mentor character , supportive and most likely to be the ace under the sleeve like a Kisuke Urahara from Bleach or Sinbad from Magi --- you know there’s something fishy but there is a charm that even thought they are slidding in the background for the main character , their relevance is vast . As a mentor characters , she would often help with insight , understanding of complex things , giving moral lessons and giving others a sense of security whilst also making sure to throw hints about a doubious nature . Keeping a character around her to keep their feet on ground while never shooting down their hopes and dreams .

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — She is not approachable unless you have enough guts to -- perhaps even looks intimidating or hard to come up with something plausible to make the meeting more natural . And honestly , she looks like a mainstream angst character at first glance --- even I myself believe this and start having second thoughts ... :laughs:

What inspired you to rp your muse? — An old project I had archived in my closet of memories (?). She was the main , nameless character of a journal about , well , her and the emotions she had to deal with in the everyday . I will be seriously honest ... it was a self insert :blushes: after all it was like a personal journal I was doing on my darkest days . But after that , she became Sable -- the first character on her own -- who also served as a mentor ( but the story was much more dark , seriously ) and then just came to this . I even used the pre-prototype name lol . The idea was to put the whole story into a RPG pixel game or a short comic series where she ( Sable ) and the protagonist would wander around a city called “Nobody’s Home” , a place were people with “thats” ( what now are called Stalkers ) got dragged into and either confront their emotions and solve / comes in terms with them or get eaten by them ( a metaphor for suicide or dead by mental illness ) . The story was more or less about Sable teaching Nona ( the genderless protagonist ) about different mental states , issues and others and helping people solve them so they can return to the real world . Needless to say , the story ends with Nona returning after coming in terms with their condition ( funnily enough , the protagonist had a bunny shaped emotion ) while on the other hand Sable stayed behind along with her closest friend , who she question why he keeps being around if he could return himself , to what he replies he doesn’t want to leave her alone esp since she can no longer return --- hinting Sable committed suicide but by sheer will power remained there to help others to deal with what she couldn’t . Voez , the friend I mention , is even Victor from her current lore . Haha , I like recycling I guess . When I came with Nora , it was mostly to kill time and altered her base story a bit since the original plot was way to close up to make an interaction .

What keeps your inspiration going? — How well received she became , I know it sounds a bit ... uh , bad . But I honestly never expected people to like her . heck I even have my doubts about myself liking her haha . plus I know it’s not easy to deal with a character with a somewhat meta power ... I still struggle from time to time but I’m managing and having the support I have atm is something that keeps me going . I love plot a shit lot . I love to come up with ideas with others . To expand what I already have . besides , there is so much I haven’t write down yet that is about her lore but I’m a bit insecure yet . I guess I’m too used to forums where everyon follows a general plot haha ... old habits die hard .

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO / EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO / 50-50

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO, I HATE DRABBLES.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES/ NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / .... UHHHH

Are you confident in your writing? YES / HAHA NO.

Are you a sensitive person? YES VERY MUCH A LOT / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal? — I haven’t got any so far --- which honestly surprises me because well ... there is so much that can bother people . as I said , I received a lot of support and praise , which also surprises me haha ... I won’t deny I would love to hear what people think , even if I later end up riding the anxiety train to the moon but it’s also a way to grow up , I believe . god ... I sound like nora Uu

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — I absolute love this and need this . It comes easier for me to make a 20 word pages of information about stuff if I’m asking specifically about it . even add explanatory drawings with it lolol since I’m kinda bad with words . besides , showing me interest on a character would just fire the heck out of me to keep going . I mean , everyone likes to get some curiosity and a chance to develop more their characters , canon or not .

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — I would for sure . I’m not smart and I actually do a shit ton of research --- but even so I can miss a lot of shit people would say <nah that’s not how it works> and that would be helpful as heckie . but of course , needing the why also would tell me if the person disagreeing is doing it with a solid ground or just because they are being a piece of crap . I’m really tired of tumblr mentality and shitty people who aren’t mature enough to act decently .

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — you cannot like everyone or have everyone like you either . I don’t really care much ... esp since nora is an original character . if it constructive critisism , okay -- I will take it , but gimme a solid reason other than “ your character is / is not ... “ and then give a crappy critique because she doesn’t fit your agenda or standards .

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — you are fucking free to unfollow me and ignore me for the rest of your life . I really don’t get the point of hating on the internet just because and keep promoting your hate just to be a pain in the ass .

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — I fucking wrote in my rules that people are even fricking free to fix my grammar and english because holy heck , even to this day I still do some ugly shit . I’m dumb , help ...

Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — ehhhhhhhhhhhhh, kinda . I take everything with water . whenever it’s of ideology , people as it is , characters ... I am quite tolerant and try to keep the “okay this person thinks this way , fine .” but as long as nobody crosses the line where they try to spoil it for me or others , I get super bitter . I love OOC , getting to know the one behind the character makes me feel more secure about coming to them and just rambling about plots and hcs and whatever idea got in my mind . but if I see someone and , forgive me god for misjudging , see them as a person that will put me on my nerves -- I won’t even try . as for the friends I have and those who don’t know me as much ... I am obnoxiously sporadic and have a lot of ups and downs very often . one day I could be talking 100 words per second others I will just take a fucking week to respond . honestly , I had mined my social skills for two years plus several other irl stuff previous to that , so I’m always a bit too anxious around people , esp people I REALLY like . I’m insecure as heck , if someone is vague ( just because , idk , it was a lazy day for them ) I think at least 10 different reason why probably that person hates me now . I’m a bit dumb 26 year old baby .......... but I’m very aware that is completely on me . I’m a mess....... so , what was the question again ??? ... I , yeah ... it’s a kinda . but I try , at least haha.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by: @skyvar herself Tagging: y’all , cowgirls and cowbois . i hate tagging bc i forget urls :finger guns:

#mik talks #ᴍᴜɴᴅᴀɴᴇ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs » misc.#ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ɴɪɴsᴡɪᴛᴄʜ » games.

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thebleuroseproject · 3 years

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Homestuck Fantroll: Haozni Quiriz

Name: Haozni Quiriz

No name significance that I can remember - I’m sure there might have been or maybe I just liked how it sounded

Nicknames: ‘Sugar Glow’, ‘Baubles’ - and many other stupid ones that she hates from Sugrav.

Pronouns: She/Her

Gender: Female

Sex: Female

Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

Age: 7.38 sweeps /16 Earth Years

Class/Status: Purple Blood

Physical Description:

Haozni is not atypical of a purple blood troll in appearance, being tall, lanky and muscular - especially around the legs which spend most of their time throwing out some sweet moves. Her badly trimmed hedge of hair is tangled from frequent movement,yet her horns elegantly curl out of the unruly black mess, ending in ridiculously jingly purple baubles tied to their ends.

Despite looking like she was stretched out on a rack, Haozni manages to have areas of softness over the muscularity, mostly due to her sugary diet. The only proper food she gets is from Sugrav, who will bring a casserole or another homely dish - it’s honestly a wonder why she isn’t gaunt and waif-like, or at least mutated a little from all the chemicals she most likely consumes. She’s too lazy to make anything healthy for herself.

Her arms are littered with chemical burns, with a few on her legs. Surprisingly, the rest of her remains relatively unscathed from her experiments. There are a few bumps and bruises from her dancing as well as from the occasional fight- but with age comes a more robust build...and more skill in dancing.

No matter how cold it gets, Haozni will always dress like the environment is a little too warm for her. Alternian nights are not unpleasant per se , but they do not warrant the constant wearing of black shorts and neon vests that seem to be the only thing Haozni wears. In fact, the only long sleeved thing she owns is her lab coat - and even those sleeves are usually rolled up to the elbow while Haozni feverishly works on a new fish, goggles glued to her face at all times, even in slumber. If you look closely, there is sometimes a little sopor slime crusted on the edges.

(Art by Shikubii)

Zodiac Sign: Caprius, Sign of the Climber

Ancestor: THE MAVERICK

Trollian Tag: chemicalCarrasius

Links to her chemistry hobby, combined with the latin name for clownfish

Quirk

‘E,e’ replaced with: -

‘I,i,L,l’ replaced with: |

All to represent her glow sticks

Lusus: Angler/clownfish hybrid. Named Lophius (Lophi for short)

Morality: Doesn’t make a habit of slaughtering lowbloods, but does live and largely embraces the culture of Alternia - so...

Personality

Strengths/Weaknesses:

Strengths: Focused, Creative, Energetic

Haozni is an energetic soul, always living her life to the fullest and trying to dance to a new song everyday. She’s the person to go to for Alternian dance music, and is always on top of new releases, finding the sick beats before they become cool. Not that she shares this knowledge with anyone, she’s too ‘busy’ to run a blog, and any filmed footage of her endeavours comes from Sugrav. Haozni wouldn’t get her kicks from running a hipster blog anyway, she’s far too focused on DOING the actual activity, carrying out as many of her new dance ideas as possible.

Her energy can be infectious, but this is not purposeful - seeing someone so overjoyed and filled to the brim with sugar often puts a smile on anyone's face. They often don’t know the joy they bring to people, often too engrossed in their own little world. Sometimes they reach out to grab people, literally or metaphorically, and whisk them into this inner world, but they never last for long. Haozni barely understands the concept of a good rest and unfortunately, other trolls do.

Weaknesses: Naive, Aimless, Neglectful

Haozni has next to no concept of self care, and it shows in her unruly, tangled hair as well as her often very messy and unkempt clothes covered in chemicals and sopor slime from when she does manage to drag herself into her recuperacoon, preferring instead to mostly pass out where she stands.

She has no sense of routine, and goes with the flow to a worrying degree just because she's in their own little bubble so often. She will follow where you lead, if you can catch and hold her for long enough.

This results in Haozni often having very one sided relationships, because she likes to do her own thing. Sugrav is fine with this behaviour mostly, everything he learned to get her attention or to calm her down was gathered from much observation - most of which was done while Haozni had forgotten he was there. Luckily (?) she doesn’t have many other friends to bother with her neglectful friendship.

Another consequence of Haozni’s bubble life is that she is largely shielded from the rest of Alternia, and the politics throughout - that is, until she encountered it directly.

Skills:

Knowledge of genetic engineering in regards to fish.

Can dance extremely well.

Very, very strong

Good fishertroll

Education: No formal education

Likes / Dislikes:

There is nothing more that Haozni loves than a good dance. It was a hobby that first began out of duty but then evolved into a genuine, unfettered passion.

It’s often raining near Haozni’s hive, but on a nice clear day, if whims compel her - Haozni will go fishing to replenish her stock of fish for her neon fish light experiments. They only last for so long on the account of being horrifically experimented on and barely cared for.

She hates HAVING to do anything necessary, especially being forcefully told to do it. Often this results in nothing in the fridge, and purposeful self neglect on top of the accidental. Sugrav has learned to be very gentle when persuading her to do things, her Lusus on the other hand, has not learned the same tact.

Due to events in her past, and her desire to be left to do her own thing without interruption - Haozni is not a huge fan of the sporadic,unwelcome visits she receives. Seadwellers, and members of the Church will occasionally come by to mock or bully her for being a disgrace to her bloodline, or to mock the state of her hive. This often results in violence, and a free meal for Lophi.

Childhood/Backstory:

Haozni began life as most trolls do, as a wiggler hatched in the brooding caverns, mercifully not crushed by drones or wandering lusii. Left to spin her cocoon, emerge and complete her trials, Lophius sensed the young troll and called her to the ocean to meet her new custodian. Near this meeting place, Haozni built her hive...badly.

Despite her hive being poorly built, Haozni rarely left it. In fact, the only reason she met Sugrav was because he came down to the shore to film the ocean - and Haozni happened to be fishing at the time.Talking to someone was a rare novelty for Haozni, and so she enjoyed it when she could. Luckily for her - Sugrav found her charming, and useful for filming. With time and careful observation of her ways, they became moirails.

For a long time, Sugrav was the only other troll in Haozni’s life - which she was fine with. She only met her other friends through Sugrav’s film projects, and occasionally throws dance parties at her hive - which they have offered to help fix but Haozni refuses. She likes her space just the way it is.

Tale of the Maverick

The Maverick was a regular subjugglator, used to subdue petty riots in hive neighborhoods. She took her work seriously, although she never worked off duty, instead choosing to dance at raves amongst juggalos and lowbloods alike. Her dance moves were legendary, her use of the glowsticks unparalleled.

Her weapon, in fact, was a modified glowstick, but quarterstaff size, and it was known as The Piscatoria. Spiked on either end, surrounded with a claw, attached to a mechanism to shoot out and reel enemies into. The Maverick was known to be powerful enough to lift enemies on the end of her line and flail them into things, eventually bludgeoning them to death if she didn't think the spike would be enough or if she didn’t want them too close to her

She was seen as kind, (for a highblood) and was therefore ostracised from her fellow subjugglators as a result. She didn’t relish in the church activities like the rest of them, seeming to go out of duty more than love for the faith. Fortunately, she was good at what she did - and most who argued otherwise didn’t live very long.

Arguably, it came as no surprise that when she was called to the revolt caused by the Signless, she heard his teachings on the mouths of the lowbloods over time - and then joined their side. She fought with them for a better world, the symbol of the Signless around her neck, and she died publically for him - an example to other highbloods who would follow. Her body was displayed near the hive cluster she had been based at, the empty sockets of her skull witnessing the suffering of those she once protected.

Fetch Modus: DANCE

Strife Specibi: glowstickkind

God Tier: Rogue of Breath

Land: UNKNOWN

Profession: Aspiring DANCEXECUTIONER

Quadrants:

Matesprite: -

Moirail: Sugrav Optera

Auspistice: -

Kismesis: -

Other Relationships:

Location: Alternia, Oceanside

Religious Beliefs: None - outsider from caste because of it

Goals: Survive until exile,

Take Sugrav with her when she IS exiled.

Trivia:

Her quirk USED to be this:

<0> - at the beginning of sentences, it’s a candy!

Ae= #

Ee= x - it’s e because it represents her eye

Uu = =

Oo = ~

Ii= II <0> S~ ||t L~~kxd S~mxthIng lIkx thIs!

All of her fast text was meant to represent glowsticks and how she talked so fast she was barely understandable to anyone who wasn’t close to her.

She used to have a Kismesis named Heebee Juvent, owned by a ‘pooka prince’

Back before the extended Zodiac, her sign used to be something I made up randomly, while her blood colour was Grape #39005c. Her jam was that she was between purple and violet - and therefore a lot more unstable than most purple bloods which led to their caste not being able to obtain any real positions of power. I used to have her as a 'Knight of Rage' in the 'Land of Whirlpools and Candy' (LOWAC)

Dance Dance Revolution @ The Maverick

I suspect the Maverick is a Witch of Breath.

#fantroll #homestuck #hiveswap #rogue of breath #purple blood #character profile #haozni quiriz

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monstax-nm · 7 years

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82 TRUTHS

rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people.

I was tagged by the sweet @hoseokjinns ♥ thxx !

name: Caroline blood type: B+ nickname(s): Caro, Carotte (I’m the real Hobi’s carrot uhuh *out*), and a lot of sweet things from my mom and... Idk ? x) r/s: Single \o/ zodiac sign: Libra pronouns: I don’t care, I never understand this q favorite tv shows: Hmm... GOT, Sense8, Breaking Bad, Parks&Rec, Stranger Things, American Horror Story... long or short hair: Middle, because when they’re too long I cut them and regret UU height: 155cm, I’m a smol thing do you have a crush on someone: Nope, only Hobi what do you like about yourself: I’m still a child, I have a good imagination, I like my humour, my eyes... That’s all I guess ? right or left handed: Right list of three favourite colors: Blue, Green, Red

right now: eating: Nothing it’s 11AM drinking: I drank some cold chocolate :3 i’m about to: Get bored as usual listening to: Nothing, tv’s on kids: NO THANKS, I have enough nieces & nephews to be busy for life ! get married: I don’t want to, because I think it’s useless... (U know, love is enough, and if something goes wrong, divorcing & everything is a pain in the ass !) but well... maybe if it’s the One, I could change my mind ? (as for kids tbh) career: I don’t go to school anymore, because I don’t like it & because I don’t know what to do... So I’m searching for a job that’s not too bad ^^’

most recent: drink: Cold chocolate phone call: I don’t call anyone but my most recent text was to my sister song you listened to: Uh... It was yesterday... Some Coldplay song on a web page, can’t remember which one :/

have you ever: dated someone twice: Yes but it was dating like a child x) been cheated on: Yup, at least once... I suspect a second one though. kissed someone and regretted it: OOOOOOOH YES lost someone special: Yes but not as dead, just as not friends anymore been depressed: Oh my, yes been drunk and thrown up: Yes, only once \o/ kissed a stranger: No thanks had glasses or contacts: I have glasses, yup had sex on the first date: Uh... I never rly had a date (like a rendez-vous), only got long-distant relationships so I don’t knoooow broken someone’s heart: Maybe, I don’t know x) turned someone down: Yes cried when someone died: Yes fallen for a friend: Yes

in the last year have you: made a new friend: Kinda, yeah ^^ fallen out of love: *waves to Jung Hoseok* laughed until you cried: I guess I did with Cha’ x) met someone who changed you: Not someone real, but I’m very sensitive to music so I guess idols changed me in a certain way found out who your true friends were: I hope since I only have one x) found out someone was talking about you: Nope, and I wouldn’t care kissed someone on your fb list: Nope

which is better: lips or eyes: Both but + Eyes hugs or kisses: Both but + Hugs xD shorter or taller: Taller romantic or spontaneous: Both sensitive or loud: Both hookup or relationship: Relationship troublemaker or hesitant: Both !

first: best friend: Lucile surgery: I got adenoids surgery when I was a child, apparently x) sport i joined: None, I’m a lazy jelly vacation: I don’t knooow ?

do you believe in: yourself: It depends on the situation ^^ miracles: Kinda love at first sight: Not really heaven: Yup, but not like the white thing with clouds and God x)

extras: how many people from your fb list do you know irl: Idk like... 99% ? do you have any pets: A dog, 2 cats & 2 turtles do you want to change your name: No I like mine :) what did you do for your last birthday: Cha’ came to see me and we had a nice afternoon, I don’t need anything else :) what time did you wake up today: 9:30AM what were you doing last night at midnight: Watching a shitty movie on TV something you can’t wait for: Finding a job and an appartment with Cha’ last time you saw your mom: 10 minutes ago before she went to get dressed what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Being more ambitious & motivated... :/ have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yup ! what’s getting on your nerves: A lot of things from the new gens tbh... and a lot of things in general ^^

Well... 25 people ahah...I won’t do that much oo @bangbangbangtanx @ehtae @shitwonho @trainingpanda @helloblamebts but only if you want or get bored !

Love ♥

#tag #other #personal

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cavalava · 6 years

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personal stuff below

Hey all you lovely people, you.

Here's a warning that this is personal stuff. There's no punchline, no joke, no nothing. It's downhill from here. Also that i know there's going to be something triggering somewhere in here and i gurantee you I'll forget to come back to this warning to put the actual triggers in, but the real ones will be in the tags. But this is your warning.

I feel like i can talk here because while i know some of you, i don't know a bunch of you (even if I'd like to). I just want to get it out there, even if to strangers, before i get it out there to the people i know, because it's horrifyingly hard for me to admit to any of this. To whom it may concern, this is the reason I've fallen off the face of the Earth.

I've found myself depressed. Deeply, horribly depressed. The worst part is, i know exactly why. But i don't know what to do with that. So let's start from the top.

So 2016. December. My mom gets rushed to the hospital after she's found delusional in bed with what we think is the flu. They diagnose her as septic, eight hours in the emergency room. I wasn't home that day due to Pagan stuff, my dad lied and said she'd be home the next day, they put her into a coma to keep her alive.

Two weeks pass. They took her off the paralysis meds the week before, she starts to wake up. By this time I'm in classes again and before class my dad called me to tell me the news that she's talking again. I drag my professor into the hall and start crying and tell her what's happened but i feel like I'm lying. Luckily, she believes me. She lets me skip class to go back to the hospital, two hours away, to see my mom. From here on out I'm driving two hours there and two hours back every weekend.

A couple weeks later, i wake up in a bed that's not mine next to a man i never even got the last name of. I get a call from my dad and he tells me not to go back to my hometown but to go to Chicago instead, which is still probably two hours of driving with traffic even if it's closer. He cites that she "needs better health professionals" than my hometown hospital can give her because of her hands and feet, which have grown black due to the blood pressure meds she was on for the first two weeks. I don't think much of it but i go anyway.

I visit with her and my dad recommends that he and i go to the cafeteria to get dinner. I agree since my wallet has been drained with gas prices.

We go down and get burritos. He tells me he lied. That it's not about the professionals. It's that she needs to have her hands and feet amputated. He starts crying, telling me he doesn't even know how to tell her, his wife, my mother, the strongest woman we know, who prides herself on her looks, who wears high heels everywhere, who owns her own business, who we lovingly called "Wonder Woman" for half my life, who has finely manicured nails that were just done for Christmas, who can look any man in the eye and tell him he's not worthy, who taught me everything i know about being the human embodiment of courage. That she needs to lose her hands and feet.

It didn't click. Not until the night of the surgery. My father and her parents were in the room, waiting for her to be rolled back in on the bed. I remember her coming in, her arms and legs bandaged up, her still half drugged from the meds. She attempted to look at her hands, which she lifted, but nothing was there. My father calmly and gently didn't let her look. The world felt like it was spinning. It felt like a nightmare. That it couldn't be real. That night i sat on the edge of the top floor of the ten story parking garage and considered pushing myself off. I didn't. I tried to drive home but got fifteen minutes away before i panicked and called my friend to ask him to stay at his place. I made it there and did that instead.

A month or so goes by. I've started drinking and smoking, both habitually. My mother has been in therapy. She's set to go home early, on March 8th, 2017, rather than the next month she was supposed to. I was going to skip class on that Thursday to go see her at home, but instead i found myself in a car crash and afraid to try to drive it again. It takes me a while to get enough money to get it fixed.

I finished up the semester with only one failed class. My usually strict parents give me a break on it. I still needed to retake it for my major.

Summer comes around. I started vaping instead of smoking (I'm trash but it makes my parents happier). I met my current boyfriend. Things are good. But they're not. I'm home more, i need to take care of my mom more, i have more responsibility. Everybody tells you how you'll teach your kids to walk and eat, nobody tells you you might need to do so for your mother. On occasion, she cries and tells me she wishes she had died instead. I don't know what to tell her.

At this time, my grandfather, who had dementia and wasn't truly himself anymore, passes away. Somehow, it's relieving, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt.

School starts up again. I have a lot of things to do in my senior year. The semester rolls forward, i find myself more depressed, to the point where i can't even peel myself out of bed most days, even to eat. I fail my class in my major first semester. I can't graduate. All i wanted to do was die. I was a failure. I couldn't do what i spent four years working my ass off for. Just let me die.

But i didn't. I kept on. I kept working. I kept going. I don't know why. I wanted to give up, and in some regards, i did. I failed at a lot of things, including two classes second semester and my sorority's presidency. I couldn't handle it all. I couldn't handle anything. I was a mess. I often drank myself to sleep at night. I rarely attended classes. Some of my professors knew what was going on, but there was nothing they could do, and it's not their fault. I had two friends die last semester. One was my friend Drew, who welcomed me into the UU church i attended, who took his own life. The other was Griffin, who i talked to often in a class that i still failed, who was struck by a vehicle in front of campus at 19. Both were so hard for me to handle.

My parents made me walk for graduation, having filled out a petition to let me walk with my class. It was mostly for my own family than anything, as they don't know anything of my failing, which just makes me feel worse. I walked, but i know i didn't earn it. I know i didn't deserve it. It just hurt more, watching my other successful classmates walk and leave me behind. I knew i shouldn't have been there. I didn't want to be there. The cap, the gown, the parade, they were all a monument to my failure. People hugged me. Congratulated me. I didn't deserve any of it. People who knew me asked why i was there. I didn't know either. It wasn't right for me to pretend like i could be with them. I wasn't with them. And part of me is spiteful that they left me there. But it's not their fault for seeking their own success. It's not their fault for hurting me, less so for not knowing how much it hurt me.

I don't deserve anything.

I don't want to graduate at all now. I'm so close but i know that I'll get even worse in a month when i go back. Why try? Why bother? I did my time and i fucking failed. Why risk wasting more time and money?

Over the summer i tried to set up a Pagan organization for my area. As per usual, my depression got the better of me and i ended up isolating myself, becoming afraid of interaction. I'm no longer part of it. I lost the ambition that i had with my previous one, i couldn't do it. I'm ashamed of that. I don't know what to do with that. I'm trying not to think about it.

Now I'm back to living neither here nor there. I'm living with my boyfriend at his parents' house during the week and living in my apartment on weekends. Neither feels like home. It's taking its toll on both of us. We're waiting for his job to get transferred, but it's taken two months longer than it was supposed to now. We hope for September, before school gets in again, but that's getting closer and closer with no sign of progress. It feels a lot like traveling back and forth from my dorm to the hospital and i don't know what to do with that either.

Not to mention i need to get a job myself. Which wouldn't be hard if i tried, but i currently don't have a car or a solid living place or motivation or anything. And maybe that makes me lazy. Maybe that makes me awful. Maybe that makes me a failure again. But i know that if i got a job I'd just fuck that up too.

I don't know what the point of this is. Maybe it's to tell you guys. Or somebody. Or anybody. Maybe it's to get it out. I'm really not sure. I just want to be normal again. I just want to live normally, to be able to get up in the morning, to be able to be who i was, to feel human again. But I'm not sure when or if that will be.

I'm sorry.

I want to be better.

Thank you for reading i guess. I need sleep.

#trigger warning #tw: depression #tw: surgery #tw: suicide #tw: death #tw #tw: anxiety #tw: drinking #shut up Cristina #tw: trauma #tw: whatever else #idc

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