.

i ache for katara so deeply, she deserves so much better than her canon fate. i cannot express in words how much her story and how the fandom views/treats her physically hurts me

Sabo still struggles with memory loss. He had his childhood back, of course, he remembers Ace and Luffy and everything they did together. But he doesn't remember some stuff. Some anecdotes Luffy tells oh so excitedly? He can't recall that those happened. And if he does, it's all blurry and never at all like Luffy says. But he never says anything because that would break his brother's heart, to know his older brother isn't fully back with him, so he nods and smiles and pretends he knows what Luffy is talking about every time.

His room is filled with Post-it notes. Stupid, really. Dumb stuff. But he has all the meetings he needs to remember and the missions he has to do, along with everything he wants to write down at some point properly. The walls are covered in pictures of the people he loves (Luffy, Ace, Koala, Robin... All the others that have ever meant something to him because he refuses to forget somebody again).

He keeps writing dumb stuff down. Anything. He refuses to forget. He denies the possibility of doing it again.

But he forgets. Sabo keeps forgetting important dates. Important parts of his life, like his past with his brothers (he forgets a random adventure they had that he swore he had talked about the day prior) and crucial things he has to do. He has a hard time picturing his memories. Putting them in his brain. Turning them into images. Saying it's frustrating is a huge understatement.

Koala helps him out, of course. She's hard on him so he finishes his paperwork, but she knows it's difficult sometimes. She's his personal calendar and diary. She informs him of what he has to do during the week and always tries to talk and talk about anecdotes that she knows he still remembers but knows he loves to hear again.

His mental health isn't the best either, but he refuses to acknowledge it. There's a revolution at hand, he can't stop working. And fighting. And doing more and more and more. But sometimes it's just too much. Sometimes he goes into depressive episodes he can't control, and the medication is either addicting or the worst thing that has ever happened to him. Sometimes he's a bit too intense. Koala says he needs to calm down, that he has a problem with his fixation on the revolution and his past. Sabo keeps saying that it's fine. But he sometimes forgets or has blurry images of the fights and the people he has killed, filled with energy and excitement and like he has the power of a God. He doesn't like those. Enjoys the moment. Hates to forget it. Hates to know what he did during it too, even if it was for a good cause. Despises the look Koala gives him, also. Makes her promise not to tell Luffy about all of this.

But it's fine, he keeps saying. Sabo will keep trying to never forget anything ever again.

i think the problem with Supernatural is that the curtains are blue for no reason a lot of the time but sometimes!! SOMETIMES!! there is so much intent and thought behind the colour of the curtains. and like. that kind of makes you expect that level of intent in everything. and this creates like. a huge fracture in the mass of fandom interpretations of the show imo because like if the curtains are blue for no reason, then it's showing you one character and if they aren't then it's showing you another ykwim?!

👍

The real genuine answer is labels exist for comfort/personal identification and the difference between bi and pan is as personal for each individual as their sexuality is, so ultimately trying to distinguish between them in the grand abstract is moot. The difference is one feels better than the other, and that’s okay, it rlly doesn’t need to be that deep.

But that’s coming from someone who’s long felt disconnect with both bi and pan labels and has rlly only identified as “queer” for the past five yrs so idk personal bias perhaps

Absotootly!! And actually same with me! I prefer a more general label as well<3 i really enjoy just being queer and not... anything in particular

i need to somehow convince my brain to fandom fixate on something else because the pure rotten misery of succession has me feeling like i just want to randomly start crying from despair, hahahaha

on the first day of september i encountered a ghost in my home is this an omen

something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.

gehhh I can feel my brain starting to turn pretty fucky wucky and I would really prefer to not have that happen again cause it was really bad last timeee

My working doc names for things are so impossible lol. Like this was an adeuce fic but I clicked thinking it was jamiazu

I thought these two were the same thing and they’re NOT!!! I’ve just been haunted by cater and Leona on more than one occasion and then tried to forget (I did not truly forget. But also kind of. There’s actually way more in here than I thought LOL I didn’t actually write fics off the second two but there’s a LOT of planning)

i keep getting irrationally miffed at ppl 😐😐

Its all about adulting. I mutter while I send emails and applications and I need to feign I answer to she/her pronouns BC, yknow, things.

I go through these short periods of time feeling very okay and good even only bc i distract myself from what pains me until it catches up again and the cycle repeats itself