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chattahoochiecoochie · 1 year

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Patients, Plural

Summary: A bengals athletic trainer gets caught up with her favorite and his friend.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: mild dub con / inappropriate workplace behavior

A/N: Apparently I don’t have rules or boundaries because this is X Reader which is against all of the above. So fuck it, I guess let me know if you want more, of whatever this is specifically.

“Pigtails today, huh?” Sam is laying back, staring at you like he always does, with that funny look in his eye like he might know something he shouldn’t.

“Yup.” You pop the ‘P’, trying to seem nonchalant as you work your way up from his knee. It’s always a knee, one or the other.

He comes in, limping a little, wincing when you finally get up to his thigh. Always hiding the same slight smirk when you tell him to take his leg out of his pants—just the one—so you can tape him up. He always goes for both legs, pretending to be flustered when you tell him you only need the problem leg undressed.

So that's where you are now, face to face with his problem leg, trying not to blush as he flexes beneath your touch. It's worse today, with two sets of eyes on you. Joe Burrow is in the chair behind you, waiting with more patience than Sam has probably ever held a day in his whole life. But he’s looking at you, watching—albeit with a different look in his eye than Sam.

“It’s cute.”

You say nothing, biting your tongue as you wrap the black tape around his kneecap, one hand tracing over it as you press it to his skin.

“You’re cute.” He twists slightly beneath you, looking over at Joe. “She’s cute, isn’t she?”

Joe says nothing, and though your back is to him, you’re sure he’s probably blushing like you are, shy under Sam’s dangerous tone.

“Joey thinks you’re cute too.”

You sigh, looking at the warped tape, your work messed up by his movement. Committed to the bit, Sam sees the frustration on your face and puts a hand over yours, swinging his legs off the table as he hoists himself up to sit in front of you.

“You know, it actually feels pretty good. Thanks for taking a look at it.” He shakes his leg for good measure, knee knocking against your thigh. Somehow, he’s still holding your hand, and when you pull away, his grip tightens. Smiling at you, he rips the tape off his knee with his free hand.

“Your turn Joey.” Sliding off the table, he stands in front of you for a moment before letting you go, moving to stand beside you. “I think I’ll watch.”

“Your quad again?” You look at Joe, trying to keep your tone professional. He nods, standing up from the chair. God he’s tall. They both are. Sam’s taller, bigger too, but they’re both so damn tall. For a moment, you falter, getting lost as you stand between the two of them.

“‘Kay, get that right leg out for me and hop up here.” He’s wearing shorts, always more thoughtful than Sam is.

With broad hands, he tucks the hemline into his briefs and hops onto the table with his thigh exposed.

All too aware of Sam behind you, you turn your fractured attention to Joe, prodding him with delicate hands to identify the source of his discomfort. Where Sam is always a knee, Joe is always a thigh. For a moment, you find the pattern between the two of them. It slips from your grasp as Sam inches closer, until his chest grazes your shoulder.

Shuddering at the touch, you blink slowly, trying to look harder at the man lying in front of you. “Here? How about here?”

With a soft groan he tenses beneath your touch. The area is tight to the touch—at least he’s not a faker.

Pressing your fingers deeper, you feel around the area for more tightness. Behind you, Sam shifts, bracing against the table.

“I thought I was special.” From the corner of your eye you can see him pouting slightly. “You touch everyone like this?”

“I’m a trainer.”

“Did you think you were special, Joey?”

“I am.”

“Oh Mister Quarterback thinks he’s special.”

“I am.” Taking the bait, Joe looks up at you with a glint in his eye. “Aren’t I?”

It’s unconscious, the way you play into his hand. He’s trickier than Sam, with those baby blue eyes and long lashes. It seems so innocent.

“Very.” You turn away from them both, reaching for your tape, regret only flashing through your mind when you turn back to find Joe smirking at his friend.

“She thinks I’m very special.” He swats Sam across the stomach. “I’m probably her favorite patient.”

“I—” Yes, yes definitely.

“He’s your favorite? Joey’s your favorite patient?”

“I don’t…” You falter, suddenly very aware of the way Sam is standing against you.

“You don’t have favorites?”

“Careful, Sam gets jealous easy.” Joe laughs, his nose wrinkling as the sound rings out.

“I’m not jealous.” A hand is in your hair suddenly. From the corner of your eye you can see Sam winding his fingers through the end of one of your pigtails. “Not yet.”

Joe has a serious look on his face suddenly, and he’s tense beneath you. Leaning on your hands for balance you pry away from Sam’s looming figure. How long have you been holding his leg like this?

“Does Joey get special treatment? Since he’s your favorite?” It’s so hot in here, and Joe’s on fire beneath you. You’re still holding him? “Do you blush when you touch him? You get all rosy when you work on me, I bet you blush for Joe don’t you?”

“I…”

It’s hazy, the scene before you. Sam’s voice is deep and soft, softer than the hip of his that's digging into your back. When did Joe sit up? Your hands are on his thighs still, fingers spread across the broad space.

“You kiss him better? Your favorite patient?” Sam's hand is on your back, crawling towards your waist until he’s holding you steady against the table, between Joe’s spread legs. “She kiss it better for you Joey?”

“I don’t.” It's weak, your voice. Why does it sound so small?

“But you want to don’t you?” Sam’s breath is on your ear, he’s leaning down next to you, the scruff of his chin grazing you gently. They’d walked into your room together today, smirking at each other now that you were trying to remember. What had Sam been saying? Why hadn’t you paid more attention? “You wanna kiss Joey better?” There's his voice, pulling your attention back.

Without thinking, you dig your fingers into Joe’s skin, trying to find something to hold onto. Kiss who? Kiss him.

In your periphery, Sam is nodding. Why is he—oh.

Joe is kissing you, cupping your chin as his mouth works over yours. He’s so soft, so gentle against you. There's a whimper lost between the two of you, caught as he slides his tongue over your lip. Somewhere behind you, there's the distant sound of a door shutting and a lock falling into place. That's good.

A hand leaves his lap, finding the nape of his neck, your fingers work through his hair while he nips at you. He’s even gentle then, biting at you, with a grin you can feel. Another whimper leaves your lips as you press against the table, trying to get closer to him. Sucking at his lip, you let the palm of your other hand dig deeper into his thigh, sighing when he takes a hold of your wrist and pulls you even closer.

There's weight behind you suddenly—Sam. Before you can react, his hand is back on your waist where it had been moments earlier, and his breath is on your neck, and then his mouth.

You falter against Joe, shivering as Sam kisses the side of your neck. “’S’okay.” He whispers against you, his other hand coming up to hold your chin steady. Together, he and Joe both now have a hold on your face. Broad hand around your neck, you relax into Sam’s grasp, lost between the two of them.

It’s dizzying, when they finally let you up for air, Sam’s hand even softer on you as Joe’s falls away completely. Hands in his lap, his forehead rests on yours, a loose curl trapped between the two of you. He’s breathing heavily, and his cheeks are flushed pink. God he’s pretty.

“I think Sam feels left out.” You follow his eyes to your right, catching Sam’s gaze. “Go on.” Joe's voice is gentle, and soon his hand replaces Sam’s on your waist.

With far less grace, Sam presses himself against you. He’s rougher to the touch, the scruff on his chin rough against you as he kisses you. He’s heavier on you, and he bites harder, nipping at your lip like he means it, tugging on it until you relax into him. There's a warm feeling spreading through you when he finally lets up a little, sucking on your tongue as he holds you by the throat. Tighter, you think.

You must say it out loud, into his mouth, because his grip is stronger suddenly, fingers pressed into the side of your neck as he kisses you harder.

A hand still on your waist—is it Joey’s still? Another grabs at the one still in Joe’s lap, splaying your fingers across something warm. Twisting in Sam’s grasp, your eyes open. Hand over yours, Joe has you touching him. A whimper rises in your throat and Sam’s grip tightens again.

Releasing your mouth, he turns his attention back to your neck, relaxing only enough to let you look down at Joe’s lap. He’s hard under your hand, thighs flexed as he strains against your touch.

“I think Joey’s sore, baby.” Sam’s hand is falling from your neck, sliding down until he’s got your breast in his palm, rolling the sensitive skin under his fingers. “You don’t want your favorite patient sore, now do you?”

Your head shakes, and before you can think about it, Joe is helping you with the waistband of his shorts. God he’s—whose hand is that?

Still pressed to your back, Sam has a hand over your breast and another over the front of your leggings, his fingers grazing your center. “Joe, baby, worry about him. I’ll worry about you.” I’ll worry about you. Has Sam’s voice always been so deep?

Leaning back on the table, Joe has a hand braced behind him, and the other on the band of his shorts, holding them down as you turn your attention back to him. It’s big, just like the rest of him. Ignoring how heavy he is, you wrap your hand around it, shuddering as Sam touches you again.

There's a brief blur, as you begin to stroke Joe, all while trying to focus through Sam’s hands. He’s being so, so rough. Faltering against Joe, you shudder as Sam pulls your leggings down, tearing through the fabric.

You don’t know what happens first, but there's a hand at the back of your head, and one around your throat and you're choking for a moment. Joe’s cock is still in your hand but now he’s in your mouth, leaking onto your tongue. Behind you, Sam has his fingers on you—no—in you.

“That’s a good girl.” Joe’s voice sounds sweet, earnest, despite the vulgarity of the situation. You’re smiling at his tone when he pushes further into your mouth. When he moans, you’re grinning.

“Such a good girl, kissing Joe better while I touch you.” You're dripping around his fingers, warmth spreading down your thighs as he works his fingers within you. “You want more baby? You think she can take more, Joey?”

Through heavy eyes you look up in time to see Joey nodding weakly, jaw slack as he keeps himself steady against the back of your throat. I can, I can take more, please, Sam. You nod too, spit slipping down your chin.

And that's all it takes, in an instant, his fingers are replaced by something much bigger, and when you think it’s almost too much, just when you start to choke, he’s moving against you, hands braced at your sides as he grips the table in front of you.

“Just like that Sam, fuck.” Joe tenses, his thighs flexing as you rock against him. “God I wish you could see her face.”

“Yeah?”

“She’s so pretty.” Joe looks down at you, that same, earnest look in his bright blue eyes. “You’re such a pretty girl, taking him like that, choking all over me. She’s trying so hard.”

He’s still talking moments later, even when you’ve gotten lost again, and when he tenses again, he doesn’t stop. “Sam, dude, I can’t—fuck. God she’s so—Jesus Christ.” Babbling incoherently, his cock throbs against your lips until he’s spilling down the back of your throat, eyes rolling in his head.

You’ve hardly let him go when Sam follows. Hands tight on your waist, he bears down against you, chest pressed tight on you as he comes hard. And that’s it. It’s over in an instant, the heat of the moment gone, leaving only the wet feeling between your legs and the dribble of spit on your chin behind as evidence.

Body limp, you crumple against Joe’s chest, breathing heavy in time with the rising and falling of his shoulders. His heartbeat is loud and fast, thundering in his chest as you rest on him, unable to move.

With a hand on your cheek, he pulls you closer, using his shirt to wipe at your chin. In a moment of clarity later you would realize the sweetness of it, but for now, you just whimper into his hand, letting your tired eyes close as he holds you.

“Shhh.” Stroking your face with his thumb, you can hear movement behind you. Sam’s calloused hands are on you, tugging your leggings back up. With fingers too thick for fine work, he fumbles with the waistband, trying to smooth it out across your skin.

“There she is. How’s my favorite trainer?” Joe tilts your chin, meeting your eyes with a smirk playing on his lips. Really, really good.

“I…” Have you always stuttered this much? “I’m good.”

“Yeah?”

“Tired?” He presses a kiss to the crown of your head, laughing.

“Thirsty?” It's the first thing you think of, cheeks pink with a twinge of embarrassment. They seem so put together, why are you such a mess?

“Yeah? You wanna get a beer, with your favorite patient maybe?”

“Patients. Plural.” Sam's voice is low and clear behind them. “It was my idea, after all.”

A/N: Find the next part here.

#HELL.#IN A HANDBASKET.#me for writing it you for reading it #and x reader????#😭😭😭#chattahoochiecoochie writes #joe burrow #sam hubbard #joe burrow smut #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow fic #joe burrow fanfic #sam hubbard smut #bengals smut #idk what to tag this I'm so ashamed

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flameyfay · 1 year

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What do you think about my student outfit?

#home #egirl outfit #alternative #student life #adult model #i sell custom content #cute face #ginger #beautiful #going to hell in a handbasket #afterdarkreblogs

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bitchesgetriches · 6 months

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bgr, i have some money that i can put in a retirement account, but i’m having trouble bringing myself to do it because the world seems like it’s on the verge of ending (not to be dramatic). i’m in my early twenties and it’s hard to imagine current financial institutions still existing in 50 years, for better or for worse.

Man that hits hard. We get it! The future is pretty fucking uncertain right now. So here are 3 reasons that should motivate you to start a retirement account anyway:

If the world goes to hell in a handbasket, the people who will suffer the most are the poor. That's how it always is. People with fewer resources always get shit on most when economic downturns happen. So consider your retirement account one way to provide a little security for you and your community against the day the shit hits the fan.

You don't have to wait to retire to use a retirement account. In the event of a major emergency, you can withdraw from that retirement account and use the money. You'll pay tax penalties, but if things are really grim, that'll be the least of your worries.

Economic collapse rarely happens overnight. We're going to have some warning. And when that warning comes, the more diversified your finances are, the more options you'll have to secure yourself and your loved ones. That means not only having cash on hand, but a savings account you can access quickly, non-retirement investment accounts, a retirement account, a credit card, assets you can liquidate fast. It's about having Plans B through Z lined up if the worst should happen.

We have a bunch of similar questions, so I think this is worth researching a bit more. Especially with, y'know, multiple wars going on and American democracy balanced on the edge of a knife. We'll look into it and write a more comprehensive guide to both why you should still have a retirement fund AND how you can use it to secure your present if our collective future is taken away.

And this was grim so HERE ARE SOME PUPPIES:

More advice:

Season 1, Episode 12: "Should I Believe the Fear-Mongering about Another Recession?"

Ask the Bitches: How Do I Prepare for a Recession?

You Must Be This Big to Be an Emergency Fund

Dafuq Is Insurance and Why Do You Even Need It?

3 Times I Was Damn Grateful for My Emergency Fund (And Side Income)

If you found this helpful, consider joining our Patreon.

#recession #retirement account #retirement funds #emergency fund #going to hell in a handbasket #personal finance

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frnkiebby · 1 month

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this one too~🎃

#fucking #w e a k #if i believed in hell id already be there #fuck the handbasket i’ll sprint on in #no fuss no muss lemme just stare at frimages on the way and i’m good to go #god his fucking eyes are so fucking pretty #and his cute ass (nose)#i just fucking LOVE him #bloody boy prettying hard here #frnkiebby #frank iero #mcr #frnkiero #mcrmy #frnkie #mcr5 #my chemical romance #my chem #ilhsm

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jstor · 2 years

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Some of the ridiculous things that we've collectively freaked out about in the past and the not-so-distant past: women wearing pants, rock and roll, bicycles, marihuana, "vocal fry"...

#moral panic #satanic panic #marihuana #vocal fry #going to hell in a handbasket #research #academic research #jstor #jstor daily

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missmaywemeetagain · 6 months

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Lil' Mousey's Hollywood Adventure: A Pink Scarf Universe Exclusive 🌊💗🧣

...out now for Patrons on Patreon 💋

It's September '56 and he's homesick filming Love Me Tender out in Hollywood. Reader comes to his rescue. 🤭 (Takes place after Elvis shows up on Reader's doorstep in March '56 and spends the night (only later to get cock blocked by Jack) and before they have sex at Graceland in March '57.)

Teaser:

“Darlin’? Are you still there? Didja hear what I said?”

You heard alright, you just don’t quite believe it.

Clearing your throat, you knock yourself out of your stupor and reply, “You can’t be serious, E. You really want me to come out to Hollywood? What about June? What about Jack?”

Elvis’ sigh on the other end of the line is so big and shaky, it’s clear he’s at the end of his emotional rope. “June don’t want nothin’ to do with Hollywood,” he says bitterly, “and even if she did, the Colonel’s so far up my ass about seein’ her that it wouldn’t work right now anyways. And we both know Jack can’t get the time off work….” His voice trails off and muffles, and for a moment you wonder if he’s crying.

“Are you okay?” you whisper into the receiver.

You hear shuffling on the other end and a frustrated growl coming from him, which makes you think he’s trying to pull himself together enough to talk.

“Truth be told, I-I-I’m homesick as all hell, honey, and I needja. Please, baby, will you come?”

The sound of him like this coupled with his desperate request has every cell in your body aching in different ways. It reminds you of the night last March when he showed up at your doorstep a complete wreck. The night he stayed over.

You try to tamp down on the way your heart skips a beat.

He needed you then and he needs you now, and as his friend, you don’t think you can possibly deny his request when he sounds so miserable....

✨Join here and read the rest today! 💗

Taglist Pt 1

@eliseinmemphis@russian-soft-bitch@tattywood

@sassanoe@thella @suspiciousmidge @hiddlepiddlediddlewiddle@carolinesbookworld @juggernort @aesthetic-lyss @stitchattacks @donnamarie23

@littlebitofgreen@paigevis@bugg06@xhannahbananax03@artlover8992

@18lkpeters@frozenhuntress67@girlblogger2002@kendralavon7@misspresley

@be-my-ally @whositmcwhatsit @vintageshanny @ellie-24 @thatbanditqueen @powerofelvis @from-memphis-with-love

@precious-lil-scoundrel @stylespresleyhearted @prompted-wordsmith @crash-and-cure @elvisgf @lookingforrainbows @fic-over-cannon @godlypresley @ab4eva @whatstruthgottodowithit @elvisabutler @amydarcimarie@idontwanttoputanything @callieselvisobsessed @captainamerica1235-blog @xenaspace3-blog

@simplyamberj@claire-elvisgirl@everythingelvispresley@louisejoy86@deniseinmn @madelynpresley

#lil' mousey's hollywood adventure: a pink scarf universe story #thank you for your patience...October was hell in a handbasket #pink scarf #elvis #elvis presley #elvis presley x reader #elvis x reader #if you’re looking for trouble #you came to the right place #elvis fic #elvis fanfic #elvis presley fanfiction #elvis presley x you #elvis presley fic #elvis imagine #elvis 1956 #pink scarf universe #scarf exclusive

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kanalaure · 2 years

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feanorian cooking headcanons, because im tired and sad and want to think about something fun

maedhros: makes a lot of soup bc you can make big batches almost more easily than small ones, and usually when he cooks he's babysitting or his little brothers will sidle up wanting some of what he's having. occasionally his parents will wander in from their workshops after a seventeen hour creative binge not sure what day it is but suddenly realizing theyre very hungry. after thangorodrim he has this little skit he loves to do that everyone else hates where he pretends he chopped the veg too hard and cut off his hand, bc what is the point of having all these little brothers if you cant antagonize them with dad jokes and maybe guilt trip them a lil into better behavior

maglor: only knows how to make a handful of things but does them well. dump and pour cook, so everything comes out a lil different each time. has never given anyone food poisoning, unlike some brothers he could name. drives caranthir insane bc he will just throw a handful of peppercorns or whatever in there all casually because they make things taste good and dont you know how much those COST, kano??! probably invented the in-universe equivalent of a sandwich so as to more conveniently eat while composing

celegorm: overall? pretty good, but its a lot of the same things with very minor variation. him being a skilled hunter, it's a lot of deer and small mammals, game birds and fish. probably good with edible plants and herbs growing wild, bc you only need to be made fun of by your entire family for getting scurvy one (1) time before you wise up, so your food would be well seasoned. however. absolutely everything is cooked over a campfire. put him in the wilderness and He Will Provide. stick him in a kitchen with an hearth and a pot rack and he is Lost. like maglor, has never met a measuring spoon he wouldnt ignore

caranthir: will measure spices to the microgram, kano, because he does know how much they cost thankyouverymuch. he's the best (only) baker of the bunch and likes all the math involved in it. just a mediocre cook though, partly bc maedhros invariably got to the kitchen first, and he's really meh about the idea of cooking anyway so he doesn't really protest or try to get in the kitchen on his own time to improve. (exceptions to this: likes making jams and fruit butters.) despite this, has never given anyone food poisoning

curufin: no. nope. no. it's his achilles heel. see mentions of food poisoning above

amrod and amras: got a lot of their cooking know-how straight from celegorm when they were out hunting, so it's all more of the same: deer, rabbit, fish, etc. like caranthir they dont get a lot of time or opportunity to practice bc maedhros beat them to the draw, but like maglor sometimes they will go off and make their own food for the hell of it, or because they were craving a specific thing. they only gave their family food poisoning once, curvo, and that was because they hadn't really nailed the pickling process yet. speaking of, they do a lot of pickling and other longterm things like cheesemaking that have a scientific element to it. they think its neat, and also its one of the few areas none of their older brothers ever tried to break into so for once there's no comparisons to be made, positively or otherwise

#as always feel free to agree disagree and/or add on. i like having conversations about this stuff #obvs this is valinor-based. once they left everything went to hell in a handbasket and changed p drastically #but i am trying to make myself *happier* not *sadder* rn so im not going deep into that #that said i think by the time everyone else was dead and they had e&e around mags was probably doing all the cooking #for mae cooking brings up too many memories and highlights all the empty spaces and silence and its a source of pain now #silmarillion #silm headcanons #maedhros #maglor #celegorm #caranthir #curufin #amrod #amras #ambarussa #feanorians #the silmarillion #silmarillion headcanon

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