#tma review
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MAG10 - Vampire Killer
*turns around in the most ugliest coolest yellowest office chair like a Bond villain, petting a baguette-shaped cushion* so, you came here from MAG9 without expecting the whiplash. Don't worry, you are not alone lmao
Trevor Herbert is like a homeless Chuck Norris, a shaggy Terminator, a Van Helsing lite (the Hugh Jackman one, not the original). He looks in your head like the dog in The Lady and The Tramp but in human version.
And the very first thing this mf says when he writes his statement is "I've been procrastinating this shit for 50 years, but hey, I finally came to the Magnus Institute". So better late than never and all that jazz.
Quoooooooting timeeeee:
"I hear someone even made me a page on the Internet and it got a few thousand likes. I don’t know exactly what that means but it sounds nice." - Trevor Herbert, July 10th 2010
Aww, doesn't he sound nice? :D
"Obviously that’s not why I’m here, though, is it? No, I’m here because I have also dedicated my life to finding and killing vampires." - Also f*cking Trevor
Sorry u wHAT
" (...) but I do not have proof to give you except for the vampire teeth that I will leave with this statement." - Trevor "I brought you a souvenir" Herbert
" I killed my first vampire in 1959." - Trevor Herbert, THE LEGEND THE MAN THE MYTH
You wish you sound as badass xD
"I was hit by a stale, coppery smell that I did not recognise as old blood at the time, since I was barely 16 and did not have then the experience I have now." - Trevor, barely 16 but already a poet
I find upsetting how many statement givers were so young they didn't know they were smelling blood.
"The furniture and wallpaper had clearly not been changed in many decades, and a thick layer of dust covered everything." - Trevor, 16, also an offended interior designer
LOL the landlord when he tells you " I just painted everything, it's all new"
"I remember wondering whether Sylvia McDonald walked exactly the same route through the house always, as I saw other clear lines of passage in the rooms we passed through." - Trevor "WTF" Herbert
" It was 1968, I remember because that was the year United won the European Cup, (...)" - Trevor "Yes, I'm British, why u asking?" Herbert
"I do not know if you’ve ever felt your blood being sucked out of you, but I would not recommend it." - By Trevor, 0/5, no stars
"Regardless, there is substantial evidence to support the version of events told by Mr. Herbert in all aspects except the vampirism." - Jon Sims, April 13th 2016
He really said "I believe everything except the vampire bullshit" XD
"(...) It may be that they take Mr. Herbert’s statement far more seriously than I do." - Also Jon
He sees that a lot of government and law people takes this statement seriously and goes "hm how weird, why tho, it's all bullshit"
Small review:
The vampires in the tma universe are so freaking weird, disturbing of course, personally I can't really tell if they are scary tho, but I'm certain they are a mystery.
Gotta say, RIP Nigel, he seemed nice :(
I must admit Trevor is quite an interesting figure, he's intelligent and resourceful, can do much with almost nothing and put together every piece of information he has in a way he can reach a satisfactory conclusion. And then he just sticks with it. There are these monsters, which I know how to kill, and so I do it. Simple. Efficient. Practical as hell.
This is also the second time going clubbing has ended horribly for someone in tma, and honestly? Wtf
This guy just die in the break room, like, lmao. He really said "no time like the present, may as well reach supersaiyan state in that couch over ther", and he fucking did it
And then Jon ends everything by showing a lot of evidences while acting the sceptic part and it's so goddamn funny. He should be a comedian.
General overview:
Vibe: this one is so fucking wild, nice homeless grandpa ends up being the modern Van Helsing and "dies" in a couch at paranormal research institute. Iconic
Horror: there are cryptids in it, that's horror genre coded
Audio: pretty ASMR in general
Humour: hilarious Terminator Grandpa, feat.Jon being Jon
Score: 10/10
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the last tma review!! did this take me over a week? yes. do I regret my decisions... maybe.
but I have many conflicting thoughts and gah so here we go!!
hello jon.
apologies for the deception
but I wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself.
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Ooh!
I just started watching The Magnus Archives. I'm on Season 1 episode 10 or 11. It's nothing like what I was expecting, but it's so so good. Honestly it's better than I was expecting. I really like that it's a bunch of different stories, like an anthology, so you get something fresh and new every single time - but there's still recurring characters and motifs.
Really loving the mystery of piecing together what this world looks like just from the information in the statements, plus the little comments that John sometimes makes. Having the worldbuilding be delivered in the form of short snippets is super clever, and really keeps me on my toes
It is a little hard keeping track of things though, I'm always paranoid that I've forgotten something - and there's some glaring reference that I'm missing 😅
Also low-key finding Johnathan's scepticism kinda grating. Like - THIS IS YOUR JOB. The evidence is RIGHT THERE, WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S A COINCIDENCE!?
Most satisfying part so far was hearing him seem genuinely unnerved and even CURIOUS about the prophetic dreams a client had previously that predicted the last archivist's death.
I can't wait to hear more about the Magnus Institute. Clearly they're more than just the archives, and at one point Johnathan implies they have field agents who need to deal with the red dress lady.
#oh#and#the red dress lady#we're on#the same page#right?#STD monster?#'cause that's#what it sounded#like#TMA#The Magnus Archives#Podcasts#podcast#review#TMA review#new viewer#new listener#TMA Season 1
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I wish real life academia was more like The Magnus Archives because I'd much rather face otherworldly evils than have my research blocked by INFINITE PAYWALLS. Jonathan Sims might've suffered immensely and nearly ended the world but at least he didn't have to cite inaccessible sources.
#Can you tell I'm exhausted#I would gladly fight Elias Bouchard to the death if it meant I didn't have to pay to access peer reviewed texts#(I know I could email the author and ask them for it but that would mean communicating)#I would very gladly submit to the eye for knowledge because not being able to get information makes me want to throw my laptop out a window#tma#the magnus archives#the magnus institute#jonathan sims#tma memes#Oh also if you relate to this I apologise#It's hell
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I've just finished episode six of the magnus archives for the first time and i feel absolutely betrayed. I was so used to the formula, that the main character lived and was fine that i didn't even think about someone dying after they gave their statement. I feel the same way i did when i first saw Halloween and realised Michael was immortal and jamie lee curtis was never going to be safe, suddenly I'm worried about the protagonist of all the other stories so far. I thought (for an embarrassingly large part of this episode) that the woman was going to have been possessed by a snake and I've decided that parasitic worms are one of the worst monsters ever to be on this podcast because they actually exist. horrifying. excellent. love this show. people keep telling me it's going to get wild but doesn't seen to have happened yet idk we'll see
#tma#the magnus archives#rusty quill#jonathan sims#reviewing all of the magnus archives one episode at a time
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Cult of the Lightless Flame be like
#this was the main thing running through my head for ep 139 it was so funny#imagining a bunch of fire cultists suddenly realizing that by creating a chosen one it's means they now have a baby to deal with#the magnus archives#em listens to tma#in which i say things#in which i review things
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what about purple doors?
I think there’s a cupboard somewhere that’s painted a sort of mauve, so it might be an Institute door, but better safe than sorry.
#magposting#answering asks#i saw the yellow door this morning when i was restocking the printer#tempted to go through it just to avoid my performance review#tmagpod#the magnus archives#tma#tmagp#the magnus institute
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getting further into academia is just realizing that Jon did have a lot genre awareness, if his genre was actually academia
#he literally would be out writing the most savage review articles#just a bunch of people pretending they know things and screaming at each other in lower case#his entire personality would be so accurate#said with so much love for that wet cat man#the magnus archives#tma#magnuspod#fandom#jonathan sims#academia
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The Magnus Protocol!!!
Twelth ep review!!
RIHJT sorry this took a bajillion hears to do sometimes i just forget how the fuck to write.
I actually really struggled to hear what they were sayin at the beginning this time, i had to look at the transcripts but god Sams such a dork. I’m glad That jealousy arc I was worried about doesn’t seem as forefront as I thought it’d be.
Holy shirtballs was I not expecting todays case. I’m not certain I like the pacing of the the mister bonzo case being so soon after we were told to watch out for it but eh minor quibbles. I was NOT expecting mister blobby at the strip club. Fr tho the setting was a great choice. If I were more pretentious (read: smart) I’d say something intelligent about how the nature of the kids entertianmwnt mascot being perverse now. Also the visual of him pulling one these 🤫 is incredible. I was not expecting the like.. in house hitman of the oiar to be such a messy eater if that makes sense. Not subtle in the slightest and I bet he dunt do any clean up.
Gwens reaction to the case is brilliant. I don’t think she realised just how fucked up her job is and I’m pretty damn sure alice has been known. If I wanted to go off on a little theory I’d say alice wasn’t lying when she said the government was in on this supernatural shit. Its giving like government cover up bullshit. Also dyhard fans im seeing the light now.
NEXT | PREV
#tmagp#the magnus protocol#tma#the magnus archives#tmagp spoilers#tmagp 12#tmagp review#bunny reviews!
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Magnus Protocol has come back and I have somehow manged to convince my brother to listen to Magnus Archives and possibly Welcome To Night Vale. This may be the best day of my life.
#the magnus protocol#the magnus archives#tmagp#tma#i will finally have someone to talk to about tma and tmagp#in several years when he finishes all the episodes#he is currently giving me a review after each episode#he hated the piper#and was confused by marys bone book
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MAG2 - Do Not Open
This is about Joshua Gillespie, also known as, THE LEGEND THE MAN THE MYTH
FREAKING JOSHUA GILLESPIE WOULD HAVE ENDED THE PODCAST IN FIVE MINUTES IF HE WAS PART OF THE ARCHIVAL TEAM
Anyway, as I was saying, quotes:
"It was a low, gentle sound. I’ve seen Dawn of the Dead, I know what the groans of the undead are meant to sound like, but it wasn’t that at all." - Joshua Gillespie, November 22nd 1998
Let's not base our understanding of reality on a movie, ok buddy? XD
"I would place the key within a bowl of water and then put it in the freezer, encasing it in a solid block of ice." - Josh, bud, McGyver would be proud of you
"I told him where he could stick it" - mf was unhinged
"It’s always nice to hear that my hometown is not entirely devoid of odd occurrences and eerie stories." - Jon Sims, March 25th 2016
WTF Jonathan
Small review:
I mean, this one is wild. I don't have words for it. Joshua Gillespie is a mad man. I like how Jon doesn't actually dismiss this one because he has no arguments, like, he can't say anything, just be there and say sth like "hm, what a weird one"
General overview:
Vibe: so, so cool
Horror: spooky AF
Audio: gotta love the music and effects, pretty ASMR in general
Humour: this is a comedy show isn't it?
Score: 10/10
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first half of season two tma review!!
attached my last reviews here and here. I do them every twenty episodes!
wow ok lots happening! ofc I'm enjoying it greatly and things are really coming together...let's get to it!
top five episodes
E47: The New Door - I felt very pandered to and loved every second of this episode especially the very end. Reminded me very much of House of Leaves and I loved that she did not survive it and that it parallels Jon in the tunnels too. What can I say I'm a sucker for a wrong house.
E57: Personal Space - COSMIC HORROR BABY!! I was overjoyed I heard astronaut and was immediately excited for the potential. It was so well done it was the perfect balance between the reality of the effects of isolation on humans and the unreality of horror. The deserted earth.... ough it was hit after hit with description.
E45: Blood Bag - blood :) um yeah <3 talking about bugs a bit later in the review but the fake blood plus the corrupted blood is very good 10/10 love corruption in horror. it was just unnerving!
E51: High Pressure - excellence I loved the shipwreck and the sense of crushing emptiness was similar to Personal Space which was cool like deep space versus deep ocean is always an ace concept. I think it also worked well because of the idea there's something already here on this planet that's alien to us and is lurking in the shadows waiting is always good.
E42: Grifter's Bone - this was so interesting I was torn between this and Still Life but I think just the concept of this one was really new and interesting! Really brings ear bleeding music to a new level and I love thinking about the role of music in horror!
plot threads (have not included everything because that would take forever but these are the ones I am very interested in)
Fairchild Family - I am convinced they're like this supernatural family or group with their fingers in a bunch of pies and like messing up humans. This name keeps coming up so I'm assuming they're not human and that they're malevolent.
Montork - I am fascinated by this guy we've had two episodes on him now.... I think he killed all those people either as a sacrifice to keep someone at bay or because they weren't human.
Hill Top Road - FUCKED UP HOUSE! so we've had lots of spider imagery so fair in this 20 episodes and ik we had that arachnophobia one early on. Clearly some fucked up spiders wandering around. I love the imagery. Love love love.
That architect - I cannot remember his name and I'm not trawling through episodes but he seems to be at the heart of weird haunted buildings and their designs. Perhaps he's trying to make like hotspots for supernatural creepy things? Or maybe they have an impact on humans? Fascinating!
Circus - I am a little freaked out by clowns so circus stuff is always fun. We've had two episodes about this messed up circus and it seems they cause carnage.
Michael - HE WAS SO SCARY. so scary. his line about the house and the stomach was just scary. Great guy, very creepy.
These messed up books. They've got to be mentioned. I could make hundreds of guesses on what they do but I'm assuming it's to harness to ghoulish.
Last one but we've had multiple episodes which have places as sites of trouble rather than people in place so my guess there are areas that are wrong and wicked etc like Genoa Italy,
recurring imagery
EYES. it's driving me up the wall a little but eyes and stares seem to be everywhere. they are clearly being watched.
there is clearly something very wrong with the archives. um. do I need to elaborate? messed up place but I'm loving it.
Bugs. So Pest Control was the big one for this but then there was Blood Bag. I suppose this plays off the write about people's existing phobias but I like the idea there's something wrong happening and that the indicator is these bugs.
Sickness and disease. I talked about rot last time but I think these 20 episodes have had lots of just humans gripped by illness and that sort of horror.
THAT TABLE. ough. that's a messed up table alright that clearly has a bad effect on people.
my predictions
I mean I think Jon is going to be removed from his position as head archivist for a bit because he's going to go too far again but Elias (who I'm 100% is the traitor btw) will remove him.
Michael will turn against them properly and will turn the archives into a maze. They will take sanctuary in those awful tunnels and things will go awfully.
Whatever has happened to Sasha happened to Graham? People being replaced by something that is not them but nobody noticing seems scary and will probably come up soon.
Children of the night/lightless flame is all some big organisation serving the Big Scary Unknown Villain. I have a feeling sacrifice is a big thing for them which worries me for future episodes.
ok that's it wooo! feel free to send me asks I have many thoughts about this.
#tma review#do u guys understand why this took so long lmfao#ok to rb btw but i would prefer only if we are mutuals only because i do not want to be spoiled
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I’m going to start reviewing fiction podcasts. What should I do first?
(Please comment, ask, or reblog your suggestions!!)
#podcasts#fictional podcasts#audio drama#horror podcasts#podcast reviews#tma#midnight burger#malevolent#woe.begone#wtnv#wooden overcoats#alice isn't dead#a81#desert skies#kane and feels#the strange case of starship isis#literally so many more I’m just trying to reach my podcast ppl in these tags#my goal is to eventually create an accessible way for ppl to find new podcasts they will love#but I’ll start practicing normal reviews#fiction podcast
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So I restarted The Magnus Archives a couple weeks ago and had the idea to do a live thought of my second go of it…. And then I forgot to do it.
I’m 58 episodes in now… better late than never tho
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well, in my attempt to have a complete listen through of the magnus archives I've just finished episode four of (episode 4 - page turner) and I'm going to be honest this one really made me really nervous.
From the moment that the protagonist mentioned it might be leather i was absolutely convinced it was human skin and i still am now, but I'm so terrified at the way jerod acted, why was he buying the book or burning it and how was his mother still alive even though she was holding her own skin book? Was jerod literally death? part of me thinks he was to be perfectly honest
this jurgen lietner (litener?) figure is creepy ad fuck and given how little we found out about him i think he's going to keep coming back to haunt this podcast.
really good episode but I'm not sure how well I'll sleep tonight
#reviewing all of the magnus archives one episode at a time#tma#the magnus archives#rusty quill#jonathan sims
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