If you're still taking requests, could you do one where someone is making Remus really uncomfortable and someone from the team helps him out? (Preferably Sirius, Leo, Logan, James, or Dumo but everything you do is so good so it really doen't matter 😂❣)

Yep! Please take a look at the TW below before reading, since there are parts of this that are a bit intense. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

Combined with protective Sirius and Leo/ Loops friendship!

TW for a super creepy guy, unwanted handholding, unwanted flirting/ not taking no for an answer, innuendo, moderate panic attack, and alcohol

The folding chair next to Remus creaked as a tall man in a perfectly-tailored suit sat down hard in it. He was clearly a drink or two past tipsy, and something in Remus’ throat itched at the way the man’s eyes flickered across his chest and arms. “You’re Lupin, right? The new Lion?”

Remus set his drink down. “That’s me.”

“Stan Martin, nice to meet you.” Stan held his hand out and Remus shook it; his palm was clammy, and he held on just a second too long. Remus was the first to pull away after he felt a light squeeze from wrinkled fingers.

“Pleasure’s mine,” Remus said with a polite smile. Sirius was nowhere in sight, and everyone else was occupied in their own conversations. He swallowed hard. “Do you own a team?”

“Nah, I just fund ‘em,” Stan snorted. “Too much work otherwise, not enough time for play, if you know what I mean.”

Remus forced a laugh. “Right, yeah, totally. Are you involved with the Lions? I’m a bit new to the whole administration thing.”

“Even after being a PT for so long?” Stand gave him an incredulous look, but beneath it there was a shadow Remus didn’t like.

“Yep. I was pretty contained to my tape pallets and charts.” Joke it off, Lupin.

A hand, heavy from alcohol and lack of inhibitions, fell on Remus’ forearm with a few clumsy pats before settling on his wrist. Stan looked directly into his eyes. “If you ever need someone to, ah, show you the ropes, give me a call.”

Remus cleared his throat and tried to pull his arm away, but the hand didn’t budge. “I don’t think that will be necessary, but thank you for the offer.”

“No, really. The NHL is a complicated world. I’d be more than happy to take some of that weight off your shoulders.” Stan leaned closer and Remus tensed as his eyes roved his face. “Your freckles are much more striking in real life, Lupin.”

“Please let go of my arm, Mr. Martin.”

“Call me Stan.”

“Let go of me, Martin.”

An awful little grin spread over his thin lips. “You’re a spitfire, aren’t you? Too much for Captain Solitude, I bet.”

He jerked his head to the side of the room, where Remus saw Sirius making polite conversation with a woman in a long dress. A spike of fury bubbled up. “Are you talking about my fiancé?”

“Easy, tiger, I’m just saying—” He hiccupped and Remus tried to pull away, but Stan’s grip tightened by a fraction. “—I’m just saying, you could do better with someone who knows how to handle you.”

“I can handle myself just fine. If you don’t stop talking shit about my fiancé, I’ll—”

“What? You’ll do what?” Stan leered at him and Remus paused to shove down his nausea. “You know, you were much prettier before you tried to be like the rest of these jocks.”

“I’m leaving now.”

“I’m just being honest,” Stan huffed, never releasing Remus’ arm from his hold. Remus could feel his shoulders starting to shake. “You’ve got those cute little cheekbones. Very delicate, like—almost feminine. Those training regimens they put you on ruined it, in my opinion. Look, Lupin, when you get tired of tall, dark, and boring over there, gimme a call and you can be pretty aga—”

“What’s going on over here?” a falsely bright voice cut in. The chair on Remus’ other side clicked at its joints as Leo sat down, looking between them with icy eyes. “Am I missing out on all the fun?”

“Hey, Knutty,” Remus managed, wincing as his voice cracked. Stan leaned back in his chair and Remus quickly yanked his arm away, tangling his fingers together.

“Lupin and I were just having a chat,” Stan said, glancing back down at Remus’ lap until he tucked his hands under his thighs. “Nothing big and important.”

Leo’s knee pressed against his own. “Sirius was looking for you a minute ago.”

Stan’s jaw tightened. “What, we can’t finish our conversation?”

“No.” Remus channeled all his roiling discomfort and the urge to knock the creep’s teeth in as he stood up. “No, this conversation has been done for a while. Have a nice night, Mr. Martin.”

Leo’s arm was steady across his shoulders as they walked away; Remus’ vision tunneled, sparkling black at the sides. “Are you gonna be alright?” Leo asked under his breath, his accent soothing. Remus nodded. “You’re shaking, Re.”

“No, I’m not.” He grabbed a plastic cup of water off a nearby tray and nearly sloshed it all over himself. “Jesus fucking—”

“Re.” He could feel his teeth starting to chatter and sweat rolled down the too-tight collar of his shirt. Leo’s hand closed loosely around his own and took the cup. “C’mon.”

“Sirius was looking for me,” he protested as Leo led him down a side hall.

Leo shrugged. “Probably.”

“…he didn’t talk to you.”

“Nope.”

“You came to get me anyway.”

“Yep.”

The clog in Remus’ chest grew and he nearly tripped over his own feet. “Thanks, Knutty.”

A sharp puff of air cooled his burning face. “I’m sorry I didn’t get there sooner.”

“I tried to leave.” The words tangled around his tongue as Leo pushed open the bathroom door and led him to the sinks, dampening some paper towels. “I—fuck, Leo, I’m stronger than him but he was holding my arm so tight and I was so fucking freaked.”

“Easy, Re.” Leo sounded like he was trying to calm a spooked horse.

The towels were a balm in Remus’ hands and on his face as he pressed them over his mouth to muffle the wheezing noises. “I’d rather be called a slur to my face than have that happen again.”

The gentle circles on his back stopped for a second. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head. “I don’t—no. I just wanna go home.”

“Deep breaths.” Leo handed him a new towel to blow his nose, then pulled his phone out.

“Has anyone told you that you’re a kickass friend?”

A weak smile pulled at the corners of his mouth, but his face was still troubled. “Once or twice.”

Remus’ lungs were tight with a mix of fear and disgust; he felt a little like he wanted to throw up, and while Leo’s hand on his back was an anchor to the world, the rest of him screamed ‘don’t touch me’.

Barely two minutes later, the bathroom door swung open. “Honey? What happened?”

“Holy shit,” Remus managed as gray eyes swam into his field of view. Sirius. Sirius meant safety. Reality zoomed back at double speed and the dam broke—tears poured down his cheeks as his whole body began to shake again. “Holy shit.”

Sirius shushed him softly, pulling him close with a kiss to the top of his head. “D’accord, mon loup, je t’ai.”

“I love you,” Remus sobbed. The fabric of Sirius’ suit was probably wrinkling under his tight grip, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “I love you so much for exactly who you are, okay? Don’t ever doubt that.”

“I know.” Confusion edged his voice, but he kept it low and gentle. Remus loved him for it, wildly. The door creaked as Leo left, and then there was silence.

He finally pulled his face out of Sirius’ chest, kissing his jaw, cheek, and lips before resting his forehead in the curve of his neck. “Thank you.”

Sirius’ hands eased through the curls above his ears as he cupped Remus’ face in his hands. “What happened, Re?”

Remus shook his head as revulsion rose again. “There was this creep and he wouldn’t let me go. Said some shitty stuff.”

“He was homophobic?” An angry furrow appeared between Sirius’ brows.

“I wish.” Stan’s words rang in his ears and made his mouth bitter with shame. Remus closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see Sirius’ face during his confession. “He, uh—he propositioned me. Kind of.”

“He what?”

“I didn’t catch on until he already had my arm.” Remus sniffled, pressing the heel of his hand below his eye to stem the tears. “He followed it up with some bullshit about you, and then some bullshit about me, and just wouldn’t shut up. I just froze. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, mon amour.” Sirius’ touch was so gentle on him, warm and broad compared to the crushing discomfort of Stan Martin. His hands were heavy, but they let Remus move however he liked.

“I love you,” Remus said again.

“I love you, too. Are you ready to go home?”

“I need a minute.” He rubbed his face against the soft lapels of Sirius’ jacket, desperate for comfort around the guilt wedged in his chest; his next words spilled out before he could choke them down again. “You still like me, right?”

“I love you so much—”

“That’s not what I’m talking about. You—am I still nice to look at? Now that I’m not, y’know, pretty and kinda twink-y.” There was a long stretch of silence. “Is that a yes?”

“Sorry, I had to take a second and stop myself from putting that fucking idiot through a table.” Sirius took a step back and met Remus’ eyes, fixing him with a hard look. “First of all, I love everything about you, and you will always be the most beautiful man on earth. Second, your muscles are the hottest goddamn thing I’ve ever seen. Third, you’ve never been—what word did you use?”

“Twink-y. It’s like…delicate. Femme. Etcetera, etcetera.”

More anger sparked in Sirius’ eyes. “Yeah, and you’ve never been delicate. You are the strongest person I know, Re. Whatever he said to you, it wasn’t true.”

“Can we go home now?”

“Absolutely.”

The ballroom was still crowded with high-end management and people Remus never wanted to see again when they finally left the bathroom; thankfully, the throngs of sparkles and dark suits made it easy for them to slip away with minimal human interaction. Stan Martin was over by the water cups, dabbing uselessly at a large wine stain across the front of his crisp white shirt—Remus saw Leo watching him like a hawk with a suspiciously empty wineglass in his hand and internally vowed to give him the biggest hug of his life at the next practice.

Remus slowed down to take in the fresh nighttime air, holding Sirius’ hand tight in his own as they crossed the parking lot. He paused at the passenger door and tugged him in for a slow kiss. “I love you,” he mumbled, breathing in the scent of his shampoo and cologne.

Sirius’ arms wrapped around him and Remus melted into the hug. He felt him trembling slightly, and he was pretty sure it wasn’t from the chilly breeze. “You are the best part of my life, Re,” he whispered, his voice thick. “The best part, no matter what. I’m so sorry for what happened tonight.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“It wasn’t yours, either.” Sirius kissed the top of his forehead once before giving him a squeeze and going to the other side of the car. “I’m sure Hattie will agree with me once we’re home.”

Two hours, one hot shower, and thirty minutes of puppy cuddles later, Remus curled up against Sirius’ ribs and felt his chest rise and fall under his palm. “I love you,” he said quietly.

Sirius let out a slow breath and entwined their fingers, kissing the inside of his wrist. “Love you more.”

“Love you most.”

“Impossible.”

He could hear Sirius’ smile, even in the darkness of their bedroom, and fell asleep to the steady sound of his heartbeat.

Fall Into You (M) - 02

pairing: jaebeom x you

genre: romance, angst, series, eventual smut

synopsis: Your love life has been filled with nothing but bad experiences. Determined to give up on the idea of finding the one you meet a man who is desperate to change your mind and have you see him as more.

word count: 5.0k

Your skull feels as if it weighs over a hundred pounds, while your body was floating down a murky river of despair. You couldn’t bring yourself to open your eyes. All you know in this moment is that you need water. Now. 

Mustering up as much strength as humanly possible you swing your leg from your bed and hurry over to your bathroom. Hangovers are when you are at your lowest as a human. Craning your neck under your sink faucet you try to capture as much water as possible and allow it to slide down your throat. Once satisfied you shut off the water and try to steady yourself. Peeling one eye open at a time you notice that you were still in last night’s attire and also neglected to remove one of your boots. 

Last night? What happened last night?

Your brain begins to reel back in time to remember just how exactly you became as blackout drunk as you did. Last night, you can remember that Sofie and you were going to one of Dominic’s new restaurants, Jake couldn’t come. 

Okay, yes, this is good, now what else?

You neglected to eat dinner since you were worried about feeling bloated in your tight pants you were wearing. Opening your eyes again you look down at your jean-clad legs to confirm this much was true, and that also explained why you became so drunk so quickly. Dominic kept sending over tequila shots, his way of trying to harass you for the night the two of you hooked up while drunk off tequila, but you could never reject free drinks.

And then something else, something important happened.

A man!

Yes, that was it, a man came and sat in the booth with you when Sofie said she wanted to leave. You remember talking a lot to him and thinking he was incredibly handsome, but God you just could not remember his face or name for that matter.

His lips pressed deeply against yours as he cradled your cheek, heat spread over your body as desire licked at your loins. 

The flashback of kissing a total stranger last night has you smacking your forehead in embarrassment. How can you not even remember who you kissed last night? Did it stop there? Or did you also sleep with this man?

Jesus, you really were a train-wreck.

You groan to yourself when suddenly you hear something coming from your bedroom. Dread fills your body as you slowly turn to find the cause of the noise. This really could not be happening to you right now. Slowly you make your way to your bedroom to see a stray man with dark hair stretching his limbs in the morning light. Well, that confirmed your precious worries of whether or not you had sex last night. You never stayed the night with men, let alone in your bedroom, you must have been drunk out of your mind.

You stay still in the doorway as you watch the man slowly turn to meet your eyes. Not only was there a strange man in your bed, but it just had to be him. Jaebeom smiled lightly at you while rubbing the remnants of sleep out of one eye. You felt as if you were going to be sick.

“Hey, did you sleep okay?” Jaebeom asks you in his gruff morning voice.

You suddenly felt so exposed, so vulnerable, even while still in your clothes you felt as if you were naked to a crowd of a thousand eyes. His eyes were light, and slowly your memories of last night began to stitch together. Sofie wanted to leave when Jaebeom noticed you two, he had approached you wanting to apologize for New Year’s, but you were more interested in him than hearing any sort of apology. You talked for what felt like hours while he just listened and looked at you, with those same twinkling eyes. You may have also cried, hard to say for sure.

“U-Uh yes, fine,” you cough awkwardly. How can you be standing in the same room with someone you cried in front of and then proceed to fuck? The discomfort was sweeping through your body like a tidal wave, “I’m really sorry for last night.”

“Trust me there’s nothing to be sorry for,” Jaebeom says as he starts to fix your bedding.

How could you let this happen? Was your self-discipline really so low that you would go back on your word about no hookups in a mere week? Albeit that Jaebeom happened to be one of the most gorgeous men you have seen, it was no excuse. This was your time for healing and being alone, just like Sofie said. How can you ever be trusted?

“Everything okay? You look like you’re about to be sick,” Jaebeom must have noticed the worsening expression on your face as you scolded yourself internally. You bring a hand to your forehead attempting to get a grip of reality. The world felt as if it was spinning and flipping all around you like you were in some sort of tortuous drying machine. 

“I’m just feeling really shitty. I think it’s best if you leave,” you tell him.

To your surprise, Jaebeom nods his head in understanding and begins to make his way past you towards your bedroom door without any sort of complaint. You figure it would probably be best to walk him through the hall to your front door just in the case of your roommate being scared to death by a stranger in the apartment. Silently you tread behind Jaebeom, his shoulders were wide as they sloped past your narrow hallway, you couldn’t help but admire.

As the two of you begin to reach the door Jaebeom suddenly stops and turns to you. He says nothing as he only just stares into your eyes. You began to feel so small in his presence, the way his eyes looked so desperately at your own, searching for something you knew you didn’t have. With shame filling your body you instead turn your eyes to the floor, Jaebeom realizes your discomfort and reaches his hand to the doorknob. 

Still, with his back to you, he says something just loud enough for your ears, “If you ever need anything, call me. I saved my number in your phone.”

“S-Sure, thanks I will,” your body feels hot at his words, he nods once before leaving your apartment, shutting the door softly behind him.

You stand there unable to move from your spot as you process everything that just happened. Your hookup with Jaebeom, your lack of memory, his genuine concerning tone, and most of all how kind he was. Your brain felt like mush as you struggled to get a grip on this strange man. In your whole history of one-night stands, this one was by far the most confusing for you. 

Once you are able to clear these headache-inducing thoughts from your head you look up and see you have just about twenty minutes until you have to be at work. As if an alarm went off in your brain you begin to hurry down the hall and speedily rid yourself of the remnants from the night before. As much as you did enjoy the occasional, oh who were you kidding, the frequent cocktail, you prided yourself in always being professional and punctual when it came to your career. Let’s face it, you were a competent woman playing in a man’s world and those people would do anything to see you knocked down a peg. 

You make quick work of straightening out your business attire and smoothing your hair into a low bun, you could worry about makeup while on the subway. You leave the door in a huff and begin to make your way to the station. All the while you could not help but try to rack your brain about the events that happened the previous night.

You moaned softly into his ear as he began to slip his fingers inside your panties, dripping with desire he slowly drew a finger around your arousal.

Your hand that had been applying mascara stops at the memory. You sit dazed while the subway softly rocks you back and forth as it trugs along the underground tracks. This was bad. Not only did you sleep with Jaebeom, but you also very much enjoyed it according to your memories. The moments the two of you shared were incredibly vivid in your mind. But oh, did you long for his touch. It hadn’t even been twelve hours since the encounter but your body was already yearning for the way his body felt on yours.

Fuck, this was bad, you thought.

You could deal with all kinds of men and the memories they left you with. The memories of disgust, anger, heartbreak, even resentment. But you had absolutely no idea what to do with this feeling of longing. Longing for a man you barely knew was not something you were going to allow yourself. Was your resolve really this weak?

The subway announces the arrival of your stop breaking your internal melodrama and effectively allowing you to shift your gears into work-mode. If you can just get through this workday you will probably never even have to see that man again. And if you did then you were going to tell him exactly how you felt. 

No not felt, what you knew.

You know that for both of your sanities you could not even begin to humor the idea of having any sort of relationship with him. You were not looking for any sort of man in your life. Whether that be a boyfriend or a friend with benefits type. You needed time alone, and for him to enter your life at this time is just wrong on every level. 

You settle into work easily enough once you reach your office. The familiarity of your workspace helped kick any lingering thoughts out the door. The sounds of quick fingers against keyboards, a smell of old coffee and ink cartridges fluffing through the air, and of course the heavy stares of your male colleagues as they picked apart your every step. You pay them no mind as you settle into your office and log into your desktop.

“Would you care for some coffee Ms. L/N?” Stacy, the new intern had just popped her head into your office the moment you sat. Stacy was smart and diligent, she stayed late to do the higher-up’s paperwork and always made sure to hold her tongue. Good girl. It just upset you dearly that a person of her capabilities was stuck with no pay and fetching coffee.

“Yes Stacy, thank you for asking,” you replied back.

She smiled sweetly at you before exiting your office. Waiting not a second longer you begin to check your work email as usual responding to your clients. Your fingers ran fast across your keyboard as you simultaneously would respond and keep one eye on the market to see if you had lost any money for any of your investors. The green arrows that flowed steadily at your bottom screen gave you a sense of relief as you began to allow yourself to sink into your work and forget about everything else.

To some, the work you do may seem dull. You understood why exactly they would think that, but it was so far from the truth. You found such a thrill in the way the stock market worked. The uncertainty of it all kept you hungry to know more. Because let’s face it, nobody, not even stock managers like yourself, knew if you were about to lose all of your assets or turn someone into a millionaire. It was quite a thrill for you, and if you were being quite honest, you had a damn good intuition about these types the things. Which is how you became the youngest stock manager in your division with a million-dollar reputation at your back, but you weren’t much for bragging. 

You would question yourself as you looked around the room at your coworkers. Most of whom lived in penthouses and rolled up to work in their glittering Mercedes. How was it that you carried most of the company’s reputation on your back alone, yet you were still living in a two-bedroom flat in the meat-packing district? You looked up from your computer as you remembered, no woman as competent as yourself has come as far as you have in this company. Therefore you had to tread a new road for younger women who would surely come after you.

Stacy walks into your office quietly as she leaves a fresh coffee on a coaster near your workstation. You forced a tight smile as a thank you. You had to pave the road for people like her. Because here was a brilliant mind fresh from Harvard business and yet her biggest responsibility was remembering how everyone took their coffee. 

You try to ignore these disgruntled feelings as suddenly your phone begins to ring. Snapped from your thoughts you reach for the device to answer the call.

Before you speak a gruff voice is heard through the speaker, “Y/N can I see you in my office?”

Your boss’s voice is low as it rumbles out the request. Right away, you tell him as you set the phone back down and begin to make your way towards his office abandoning your fresh coffee. You make your way towards the end of the younger manager’s offices until you are perched directly in front of massive double doors. You knock twice before entering, seeing your boss up from his desk gazing out of his floor-to-ceiling window.

Mr. Hobbes was considered a young man for his CEO position at your company. You were never sure of his exact age due to his overwhelming need to keep his life as private as possible. His hair was just on the brink of becoming an ashy tone but still had flicks of golden locks throughout. Hobbes was always nicely shaven and had a distinct green smell that just screamed “wealth.” He was one of the only men in the office who never tried to hit on or belittle you. Therefore, he was tolerable.

“Come join me,” Hobbes calls out to you, never looking away from his window.

With a deep sigh, you make your way over to stand near him and overlook his office view alongside him. The two of you stood silently next to each other and just watched. The people, cars, birds, and just about everything that made movement outside. It was odd. Standing as close as you were to one of the most powerful men in the country you would think it would shake you. Yet you felt absolutely nothing.

“You have a brilliant mind,” he begins next to you, “Did you know that?

“Haven’t thought too much about it, I just try my best just like everyone else,” you respond back honestly.

At this Hobbes laughs, “You haven’t thought too much about it.”

He then turns to you. His deep turquoise eyes staring you down, blue eyes were your least favorite color. They felt cold and distant, madness could be hidden behind them. Hobbes’s eyes were different, instead of the cold, you could feel a warm breeze on an ocean. He was a comfortable person to be around.

“Well, would it be terribly rude of me to start asking you to think about it? To think about your future,” he asks you.

“Not rude at all, I would just like to know your reasoning behind these questions.”

Your boss walks away from the window to take a seat at his large mahogany desk. Wordlessly he requests you to sit across from him in one of the smaller chairs. You make your way over to sit politely hoping to God he couldn’t tell that you got dressed in less than five minutes this morning. 

“I want to make you the head of recruiting,” Hobbes says to you.

You can’t help but let your eyes widen at his words. Head of an entire department. Sure you were good at what you did but you had only been working at this company for three years. This was surely too soon for such a big promotion.

“Head?” You ask him again to which he nods. “Sir, with all due respect, am I not under qualified for that sort of position?”

“I don’t give a damn about qualifications or years of experience. I care about numbers, and yours are good, no, they’re the best.” He begins to say, “I need more brilliant minds like yours so I figure why not take the best manager we’ve got and have her show the newbies how it’s done.”

To say you were complimented would be an understatement. You were shocked that Hobbes felt this way about you. While working at the company he mostly had kept to himself, rarely would you see him out on company dinners or even speaking during meetings. He was withholding so much power that you never dared to get on his bad side.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything yet,” Hobbes says. “Take time to think about it and come back to me with an answer by the end of the quarter.”

You nod your head at this, thanking him first you begin to stand and make your way towards his door. Before you are able to leave, your boss calls your name, you turn to see he had been following close behind. 

“Don’t let yourself think you are incapable,” he tells you. “I know talent when I see it and you’ve got it, Kid.”

You smile bashfully trying to avoid his eye contact. He laughs lightly at you before patting your shoulder gently in an encouraging way. You then turn to walk away once more and return to your office.

“That’s a good girl,” Jaebeom whispers in your ear as you feel his cock penetrate your dripping core from behind.

You turn back around shocked and look at your boss. Hobbes was staring curiously at your expression waiting for you to speak.

“I’m sorry did you say something?” You ask, afraid for the answer.

“I said you’re a smart girl Y/N,” he smiles lightly before turning his back to you and returning to his desk.

Your cheeks are hot from the misunderstanding as you quickly make your way to leave his suffocating office. Quick feet down the hallways as you desperately try to reach your office without having anyone notice your frazzled state. Slamming your office door your back meets the cool surface as you try and regain your normal heart-rate from the erotic memory.

You put your head in your hands to attempt to grab a hold of your subconscious. This situation was worse than you thought. How can one night of sex with Jaebeom be haunting you this much? Was it really that incredible? You sit back as you laugh at your own question. It was more than incredible. It was the best you have ever had.

You decided it would probably be best for you to drown yourself in work for the rest of the day. You needed so desperately for something to help distract you from your wandering mind, thank God statistics and economics had absolutely no sex appeal.

Time ticked on throughout your office. Your eyes stayed glued to your desktop screen but you could tell that the lights had begun to dim settling into the night around you. Fellow workers could be seen stretching their sore limbs high in the air before they gathered their things to leave. Quiet goodbyes were exchanged amongst the masses as everyone decided their life outside of this office would be a much greater place to be. 

You on the other hand could not let yourself be spared a single moment to yourself. It was the moment when the sensory lights had triggered to turn off in your office that you finally took in your surroundings. Once again you were the only person left in the office. With a big sigh you lean far back in your chair, elongating your spine against the back of the chair you begin to finally feel the exhaustion in your body. 

Deciding it was probably best for you to leave, you quickly gather your things and make your way out of the building. The bitter January air had you holding your coat closer to your body to try and conserve as much heat as possible. The other people passing you along the street seemed unaffected by the weather, it was after all a Friday night. Your workplace happened to be in the dead-center of the hippest club scene in your city. It was fun for you to watch people as you made your way to the underground subway station. With your headphones in, a soft calming melody played to assist in healing your slight headache as you watch young men and women laugh and hang off one another. You smile lightly admiring the way they all looked so alive and happy. 

The ride through the subway was nothing out of the ordinary. You would occasionally catch yourself dozing off only for the loud blaring station announcements to wake you from your short-lived slumber. On your cold walk home from the subway station to your apartment, you couldn’t help but think about how nice a hot shower sounded.

Lost in your own world you hardly notice there was a certain new constant man in your life sitting on the front steps of your apartment. Quickly you remove your earphones from your ears, just then he notices your presence. Jaebeom looks up to you, smiling slightly, he rises to his feet until he is standing right in front of you. He smells like spring rain.

“Jaebeom, what are you doing here?” Suddenly feeling incredibly insecure about your appearance under his hot stare you make quick work to smooth down your frizzy hair.

“I just needed to talk with you,” he says, the heat of his words causing a cloud to release with it in the chill of the city night.

“About what?”

He laughs slightly at your accusatory tone. Jaebeom takes in the scenery around him, the dimly lit neighborhood streets illuminated where the two of you stood. Softly rubbing the back of his neck Jaebeom tried to calm his own nerves. 

“Well, we had a really good time last night, right?” Jaebeom asks you now, looking you directly in the eyes. You blush at this, remembering all the flashbacks you had been getting during your busy workday. It was now your turn to get shy as you look to your feet, too flustered to meet his stare. A slight wind worked its way between your bodies as if to wrap the two of you in one cold embrace.

“I just wanted to come here and ask you properly,” he says, causing you to look up at him curiously. “I wanted to ask you on a proper date.”

Jaebeom speaks while searching your eyes nervously, afraid himself that he may have misread the connection the two of you had. You yourself could not deny the chemistry you felt with Jaebeom. Sleeping together was one thing, but you were nowhere in the right headspace to be dating right now. If only you had met him later when you were fixed.

“Jaebeom I’m flattered really,” you begin to say, already cringing at your lame line. “Us hooking up last night was a mistake on my part. I am not in the right place to be with anyone.”

You continue your rant as Jaebeom looks perplexed.

“Sleeping together, dating… I can’t do any of it right now. So I’m sorry but I just don’t think this,” your hand waves between your two bodies for emphasis. “Is going to happen.”

You realize what you said was harsh. Hell, if you were on the other end of this rhetoric with a guy you really liked you would be crushed. Unfortunately, you had to be this upfront with men. You’ve tried subtly in the past, and somehow these guys just never understood that you were not interested. After much trial and error, you have discovered being upfront, albeit harsh, was the best solution.

“I-” Jaebeom begins to speak but then suddenly laughs. You stare at him with confusion. You expected a certain reaction from him, but laughter definitely caught you off-guard. Jaebeom can hardly contain himself as he turns to try and calm himself. Meanwhile, you stood just waiting to hear his explanation for his strange reaction. 

“That explains this morning then I guess…” Jaebeom says to himself causing your patience to dwindle.

“I totally understand you not being ready,” he finally calms himself down enough to speak with you. “But Y/N, we did not hook up last night.”

Your head recoils back in shock and confusion, you stare into Jaebeom’s eyes trying to see if he was somehow using this as some sort of power-play against you. When looking at his eyes though, all you could find was sincerity. 

How can this be true? You distinctly remember separate occasions of him from last night while sleeping with him. Come to think of it though, you were fully dressed when you woke up, and so was Jaebeom. Can you even remember coming home with him? Your mind was completely blank.

“After the restaurant, I walked you home,” Jaebeom can sense your confusion from your facial features and decides to fill in the empty space. “Once I got you home you asked me to come inside to make sure you got to bed. You started to get really upset once we got to your room so I lied with you in bed for a bit until you calmed down, and then I must have fallen asleep after then.”

Your cheeks are burning bright red, as you do in fact remember everything Jaebeom just said to be true. You remember sobbing once you got to your bed, you remember asking him to hold you. If you could die from embarrassment, you would already be standing in your grave.

“But I remember things from last night, I remember us kissing and you-” you try and salvage your shameful memories, but have a hard time getting yourself to say that you remember him fucking you.

“And I?” 

“You, touching me…” You look up at him and see a tinge of amusement on his face at your shy confession.

“Well I have to say, I am truly flattered you had a very vivid dream about me,” his smirk on his face is accompanied by a red tinge in his cheeks thinking of the two of you becoming intimate. 

“But I can assure you we just slept next to each other, I would definitely remember if more happened.”

He laughed lightly clearly finding this whole situation to be just one big misunderstanding. This was so angering for you to hear though. Jaebeom was now openly mocking you in your eyes for the thoughts that attacked you all day.

“I’m so glad you find this amusing, now if you don’t mind I would like to go inside and forget last night ever happened,” your words hold little meaning as the anger controls your tongue.

Jaebeom looks surprised at your reaction as you attempt to move past him. He can now clearly see you did not find this situation funny in the least bit.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you,” Jaebeom is frantic as you pass by him trying to reach your door. Softly he grasps your wrist causing you to look back and see his pained expression as he worries if he has hurt you.

“I understand you’ve gone through a lot,” he begins to say. “I just know what that feels like and it’s nearly impossible to go through those feelings alone.”

“You know absolutely nothing about me Jaebeom. Don’t feel special just because I used you as an emotional dumpster when I was too drunk to realize what I was doing.” 

You can feel the peak beginning to approach in your anger and it almost scares you. The last time you blacked out from your anger, it took more than apologies to recover the damage.

“You need to back the fuck off,” you spit venom at him.

He seems completely thrown back from your harsh words. His eyes are pleading with you, worrying that he might have upset you beyond repair. Behind all this banter Jaebeom cared for you as a person and he wanted more than anything for you to see him as more than just another man. He would never even think of trying to control or suppress you. He wanted so much more from you, he needed to know so much more.

You were not ready like him. Not ready to leap forth into another unknowing relationship with a man. He was the right person, but now was definitely not the right time. 

Silently he lets your wrist go as you hurry inside your apartment. Slamming the door you rest your back against it trying to control your breathing. The look on Jaebeom’s face was hurt. You had hurt him. Regret crawled its way up your chest making you feel absolutely nauseous for the way you handled speaking with him. The man had confessed to you for fucks sake. And you have the audacity to get upset with this complete stranger and hurt him just because you were embarrassed? 

This was a new low of yours.

Long Past Dawn Ch.1

[Aaaah, okay so this is the first chapter of what I hope to be many! The ending is a little rushed but I hope its still enjoyable! Any comments, feedback, and/or advice is greatly welcomed. Also note the oc is nonbinary. This has been proofread by me but I may have missed things!]

WC: 3,054

The downpour outside lulled us into a quiet meditative conversation.Two Americans and two Canadians, a count of four in total, all of us students in search of degrees in education. 

Daniel spoke first, breaking the silence, a talent of his. "So," he started, "why did the rest of you get into teaching? Personally, I just want to work until I get tenure and then wild out, just absolutely go off" he guffawed, turning to another member of our party, Angel.

I hated to look at her as she smiled at the rest of us, her teeth just looked too perfect and I hated them. They were in my uncanny Valley, along with her. "I just, I don't know ya know. Kids are our future and I feel as if it's my calling to nurture that" her too perfect teeth suddenly curtained by her lips as a tight smile made an appearance on her face. 

It's my turn, a panic and sweat washing me in discomfort. "Um, well, I actually don't know. I think I'm just trying to make up for the shitty teachers I had early on in my learning" Clearing my throat I continued on, "I just feel as a mentally ill child I didn't get the care or attention I needed so I want to make up for that" I finished and gave a smile to fake a sense of calm.

Dante, our last compatriot suddenly hitting my knee, "No I feel the same! I feel as though the education system we have as of currently constantly fails those it should be helping and I want to end the cycle of educational neglect!" The words raced from him in a flurry, only to be met with my excited agreement, noise and discomfort from Angel and Daniel. Turning to me he spoke more, "Fabel, you and I, are the only two people here with any pure intent" in a shaming tone that made me chuckle.

Peeking over to a clock in the hostel room we shared the clock read 3:30 am. Our professor for the trip wanted us to stay up and go on a hike sleep deprived for some arbitrary lesson to learn how to cope under stress. Hitting my head off the wall I groaned, I didn't want to be in a foreign country sleep deprived. A shared glance and emotion feel upon us, frustration. We signed up for this, yes, but we felt as if the man who was supposed to teach us meant to belittle us. We all just needed a foreign language credit and all had picked Romanian at our respective schools, thus the event that led to our meeting. Breathing in before I rose to guzzle down another cup of coffee and grabbing the cup Daniel had suddenly flung out. The sound of rain and the smell of coffee was a perfect sleep mixture, unfortunately nothing can be perfect I found as I rubbed my eyes with my hands.

The room we resided in was average I suppose, this being my first hostel experience, plenty of room for the professor but he refused. The bunks were comfortable and the amenities worked so that's all we needed. The carpet was the best part, resembling a movie theater carpet which kept popping up in conversations. Everyone was staring into the center of the room suddenly, thoughts and movement ceased, our moving chests the only sign of life. Breaking my trance I my eyes moved to peer outside the window all of us neglected to close, instead leaving it to people watch and be generally nosey. The town we stayed in was large and seemingly filled with life. The fact that we could stay here and learn more lessons than driving hundreds of miles for a silly hike to stroke some guy's ego suddenly got to me. My chest tightened as I then remembered Daniel and his lack of coffee.

Hours had passed and the dawn was coming in just some hours as we had begun packing for the day. Angel had been seemingly the most affected, refusing to consume caffeine she began to whine to herself as she stumbled about. Daniel and Dante were throwing themselves into each other to aid in waking up even slightly. Embarrassingly, I stood and did theater exercises to help myself wake a bit. Down the hall through the door we could hear a throat clearing and coming towards us, we freezed in anticipation. 

“Good to see you kids awake! I never thought you would’ve been and hoped for a teaching moment” Our professor seemingly lamented, teaching moments his name for public humiliation and being treated like a child. I refused to learn his name, if he wouldn't show respect towards us I wouldn't show any towards him. He starts to move his body like a swiveling fan observing our room. His eyes attempting to find any mistakes, none would be found. We stood, ready for our day with bags filled as he stood like he was the embodiment of the law or something of equal importance. Finally deciding we were of his approval he clasped his hands together he began to speak in his yell-talk style.

"As you may remember me saying all week, today we will be driving to a remote part of the country for a hike. This will teach you leadership, team work, and how to rely on others. Now, this hike won't be easy nor for the faint of heart, but I know you kids should be fine" he finally spit out, his face showing a smile but his eyes betrayed him. His chest rose as he breathed and began to turn, a blessing to us as a group a few moments of reprieve needed. You could almost feel the tension in the room leaving with him. 

Realizing I had been picking at my thumbs the entire time I breathed in and shifted my weight on to my other foot. 

"I don't understand people like that. They go into teaching and act superior off some perceived amount of knowledge" I spoke with a grouchy tone. "You're not fulfilling your duty as a teacher, you're just being a dick" I spat forward as a follow-up.

"And he doesn't even offer constructive criticism, it's just straight public humiliation" Angel grumbled in agreement. Her eyes focused on the floor, brows furrowing as she continued, "he's also just plain rude. Literally has said nothing nice. I can only imagine what people say behind his back about him" she said, finally looking up and shaking her head.

Both Dante and Daniel stood like pillars, hands gripped on the straps on their backpacks. Daniel finally breaks their silence.

 

"He has off vibes, like something about him isn't settling with me" the sentence sends a chill in the room. "He's just - he's rancid. That's all I can say" he finished looking up at the ceiling suddenly.

Dante said nothing and just began to march from the room like a man possessed, we filled behind him reluctantly. The sentence "Fabel Zając faces the music" kept running through my mind. Feeling a tugging sensation I turned to look at Angel who gave a sheepish look, only asked, "Fabel, can I hold your hand? I'm nervous" thankful to have a way to stave off the panic in me rising and the ringing taking over my ears, I quickly agreed and both of us gripped hands. She wasn't a bad girl at all, I just hated her smile. She grew up in a religious home which gave her her constitution, truly you could see she was just a sweet girl. Just awkward with those outside her church. I looked forward again to see Dante's back, I reached up and tapped his shoulder and he turned to look at me as I smiled up at him and gave a wave. He laughed and waved back. Turning back again to look at Daniel, he was looking up at the ceiling of the hallway we walked through, I started to make faces at him until he gave me attention. Angel's giggles quickly gave it and he returned the faces. It brought all of us up as we giggled and leaned on one another in fits. Finally we made it to the main door, we stood and spotted our professor, he stood by a jeep and was messing around in the back. We all took a final breath and stepped out of the hostel into the cold hazy morning.

Shivering as we shuffled towards him, hopeful he would ignore us as we loaded ourselves into the vehicle, Daniel taking the front passenger seat, Dante sitting behind him, I in the middle, and Angel behind the professor. Thankfully, he did ignore us as we all began to text our respective families about our safety and the day ahead of us ensuring them we'd be okay. I shut off my phone and closed my eyes, letting my head back as I heard a grunt and the starting of our engine.

Hours had passed as the sun began to break more, it felt like purgatory. Nothing but static could be heard over the radio which caused an uproar from all members, the one moment all of us truly agreed. The urge to cry hit me, I wanted to be back in the hostel in town amongst people. I had a sinking feeling all morning and it only worsened. Suddenly a pop broke my thoughts as we began to swerve on the road. 

"I don't have a spare" The professor mumbled.

"Excuse me! What do you mean you don't have one!" I snarled out. 

"How could you not!?" Dante continued the line of questioning.

"I mean I don't have one, I had to make room for other bodies!" The professor spat.

"Dude, what's your problem? You've been a dick since we got here and now you endanger us?" Daniel then shouted over us all. 

Angel in a moment of complete stress shreaked, almost destroying our eardrums.

We then sat in silence for a moment, all of us thinking.

"We're hours from anywhere aren't we?" Dante finally spoke.

"Yes, Dante, we are" The professor huffed out, pinching the bridge of his nose. "We'll just have to walk to find help, I'm sure it shouldn't be long" he followed by unbuckling his seat belt.

Angel, following his lead, swung her legs over the ground and hopped from the jeep. Daniel rolled his eyes, popped his knuckles and followed. Dante looked at me in the rear view, he put his head back, shook it and also followed them. I sat and finally before they were too far my resolve diminished and I jumped out and ran after them. 

Hours had passed, all of us had blisters, and we had multiple arguments until we stumbled upon the outside of a village. Huffing for air I silently thanked the universe as I bent to put my hands on my knees, my chest burning. The buildings and fencing looked old, as if the people were stuck in time; appearing abandoned and void of residents, our professor began to march in yelling for help. The pit in my stomach grew as we all shared a glance and followed despite our better judgment.

Panic began to rise in my chest as I turned to my group mates after finding myself in the front. The looks I turned to see were full of fear, as I assumed mine was a match. I held my hand out to Dante as I had found myself closer to him, "let's hold hands, I'm scared" he nodded and grasped my hand quickly. Every structure was made of wood and pathways would seemingly lead to dead ends and blocks. After a never ending amount of complications and no one our professor let out a roar of frustration. 

This is where the trouble truly began, the roar back we never expected or saw in our future. They sounded animalistic and primal, nothing a human could ever produce. All our eyes locked in that moment, the calm before a storm. My legs took over me and I began to run praying that my speed came to be like Hermis. Barreling into an empty home I looked for any place I could hide, whimpers and whines escaping my throat as I heard noises only comparable to dogs, but much larger and monstrous. Cramming myself under a bed and snuggling to the wall I waited, hand over mouth shaking with ragged breathing. Closing my eyes I let go of the tears I had been holding in allowing myself to let my mind wander to the worst possibilities about my friends, how my pets wouldn't understand, how painful my end would be all causing my body to assault me with tears. Finally, the noises subsided slowly as I could hear the beasts running further into the village. Breathing in huffes of air I steel myself with resolve and crawl agonizingly slow from my spot. I crouch and make for the door, creeping to it and cracking it open like a cold one with the boys, I peer and think of my options, deciding on finding my way back to the gate at the opening of the village. I dashed out and scramble to my right, realizing quickly I'm lost, I just keep running.

Luck wasn't on my side as I found out, finding myself at the edge of the village, during my run a few of the creatures circled back causing me to scramble for cover. The attempt was unsuccessful and one had dug a claw in my leg, slicing the meat. Still I kept running and hiding, at one point I dove for another house, barricading the door and breaking through the floor to run out from below the house as they were on top. I had only made it to the center of the village before my body gave up leaving me on the ground, my blood pooling around me as I fought for consciousness. As the world faded a shadow formed in my vision accompanied with boot steps, a cold hard object lifted my chin and moved my head back and forth as a hum met my ears.

"You're tough, you'll be useful" followed by a chuckle caught my attention. Useful, for what? The question didn't stay long as my head finally became cloudy and I left reality. 

The stick of a factory caused me to stur in a groggy state. It was a soft hum, the machinery reminding you of its presence. My head hurt and the smell of oil and metal not helping in the thumping. The mattress I felt under my hands was thin enough to bring my attention to the springs of the frame. I grunted as I forced myself to sit up, finding my wounds covered and as I'd hoped stitched. I let my body fall back and slightly bounce as I began to cry and rock. I rolled to be on my side and hug myself as I try to choke back my noises not knowing what other danger I could be in. Suddenly the sound of footsteps broke my thoughts and caused my heart to leap. Pulling the covers over my head like a child I burrowed underneath hoping to feign sleep. Wiping my eyes and nose I try to control my breathing, I lay as still as I can and wait, the steps getting closer causing the beating in my ears to grow as my chest restricted and panic set in causing goosebumps to cover my body. 

"You're not asleep" I heard followed by a chuckle as tears sprang to my eyes again, I was going to be sick. "C'mon and quit your hiding" despite sounding like a request I could tell it was an order as I snaked my arm to the top of the blanket as quickly as my shaking body could manage. It wouldn't be that difficult of a task as I'd learn, the blanket being ripped from me. I threw my arm over my face and withdraw into a ball, similar to how I learned as a child during tornado drills, just on my side. It must've been funny to my capture as he burst with a chuckle. 

"I won't hurt you, after all look at you, you already look half dead." 

"Promise?" I sound like a child, I could only assume the lycans he mentioned were what attacked earlier, and as for the bitch I hadn't a clue nor a care.

After a snort a reply was given, "I won't make promises for later, but for now we'll see." It wasn't promising, but it was all I had.

I unfurled myself with a whimper, not realizing just how much it would hurt after my sudden movements. Slowly I rolled over to observe my savior and capture. He was tall or at least from this angle he was, salt and pepper beard and hair with what looked like a leather cowboy hat adorning his head, a trench coat and combat boots. My first thought was he must be a military larper of some sort, part of me fighting a laugh as I managed to rub my eyes and groan. The thing stopping me in my tracks was the giant metal hammer, no regular person could use such a thing causing my fear to spike once again. The grin he gave was full of malice and looked predatory, the inability to see his eyes only added to his aura. The full realization of the situation hit me as I freely began to cry as he studied me. I could die here or worse with this wolf left to lick up what I leave, what proof did I have that he wasn't already planning on it. Shaking my head as I tried to get out anything but sobs I found him laughing at me again, seeming to enjoy my response of overwhelmed fear to him. 

"You'll be perfect!" He declares, "finally I can get rid of that bitch." He says voice shaking with rage as he bares his teeth like a dog. My fate seemingly sealed as all I could do was let myself freely weep and a stranger laughed at me.

DOTW 47 - Start

They'd over shopped. Well and truly. Levi telling Eren to grab whatever he felt like, and Eren doing just that. Rather than go for highly processed food, Eren picked the healthier options. His omega naturally didn't extend that luxury to chocolate, grabbing three big family sized blocks of his favourites. By the time they reached the checkout, Eren was fading on his feet and Levi had never seen a shopping trolley so full. With enough food to last them a month, Levi found he had to get creative. Meat and vegetables soon got repetitive, and like when he'd been trying to get Eren eating properly, Eren was back to eating 6 small meals a day. If he'd been working, he wouldn't have been able to be there the way he currently was for his omega. Eren's morning sickness was still hitting hard, and he was still struggling with being intimate with his omega. It was like Eren needed his attention every second of every day, and honestly as much as he loved being the centre of Eren's world, he was spending so much time comforting him that they were still yet to talk. Every time the conversation vaguely turned towards what had happened, Eren would clam up. Or crawl into his lap for attention. They could talk about anything else... just not what happened while his boyfriend was awol for 10 fucking weeks. Then there was Erwin. Erwin was still sleeping on their sofa. He didn't know how to evict him though, not when Erwin wouldn't take his not so gentle hints of telling him to "fuck off back home". It felt like Erwin had taken it upon himself to chaperone then in their own fucking apartment. The one time Eren had decided he wanted to be intimate had been on the sofa. His boyfriend climbing into his lap and claiming his lips, despite the fact Levi was actually interested in the movie there were watching. That soon went out the window. His alpha confused, but also aroused by the fact Eren wanted him badly enough to make the first move. Not making it off the sofa, Eren was riding him. His boyfriend was only wearing one of Levi's oversized shirt, that didn't hide a thing. Meaning It did absolutely nothing to hide the fact they were fucking when Erwin let himself in... just as his knot popped and Eren came between them with an unmistakable groan of release. In his defence, Eren was always vocal during sex, and just because his words weren't working didn't mean his moans weren't. He hadn't heard a fucking thing. In fact, Erwin was the one who should have fucking known it wasn't safe to come in. Gasping and panicking, Eren had tried to climb from his lap, almost managing to tear himself off Levi's knot. It wasn't a great feeling for either it them. And Erwin stood there for a full thirty seconds before closing the door to them. Intimacy went out the window after that. Eren wasn't even sleeping in his bed, with him. Not all the time. He was like Titan. He'd start the night off in his own room, wander into Levi's at some point, and then back to his own. So for Levi. It was a painfully long fucking week that left him fucking exhausted. * Eren was on autopilot as Levi got him ready to leave. The alpha's nerves were sky high. His anger barely contained as he spent the whole morning snapping at every little thing. Titan had vomited across he kitchen floor. The toaster had decided to die, and then go magically flying, leaving a trail of crumbs as it did. Drawn by the noise, Eren had sleepily stumbled from the bathroom. Looking to the mess, he'd given a squeak and darted into his bedroom. Sending Erwin in to check on him, Eren was hiding in his bed. The omega refused to come out, so Levi had to go in. Getting Eren up, dressed and sipping water so he'd have a full bladder for his ultrasound, he nearly yelled at him. He also didn't miss the fact Eren's phone was flat, and signing to him wasn't getting anywhere. The little shit had picked the worst day to be a brat. He knew he was fucking nervous about the ultrasound, but that didn't mean he needed to shut everyone out. They were barely on time. He'd had to drag Eren along, despite how worked up Eren had become during the drive. Called through the moment they got there, the technician proceeded to bombard Eren with questions. Happily asking if this was Eren's first ultrasound. If he was excited. If this was first baby, and how far along he thought he was. Getting no answer, the man fell silent, leading them into the room. The dark atmosphere wasn't what Eren was expecting, the omega coming to a dead stop "It's fine, brat" "Is he alright?" "Yeah. He's just nervous. He's also currently mute, so don't take his silence personally" There was a coolness to Levi's words, but once said, he couldn't exactly take it back "Right. Alright then, Eren jump up on the bed for me and we'll get started" Getting positioned, Levi stood by the bed. His hand on Eren's shoulder rather than holding his hand, as his alpha internally melted down. He was about to see someone else's pup, growing inside his boyfriend. It left an unbearably bitter taste in his mouth, but that paled when compared with the bad taste his own actions and thoughts were causing. He'd never thought it would bother him as much as this... and he couldn't deny his feelings emotions from Eren's pregnancy scare were bleeding into the situation. They'd wanted to experience this together... and now, some other alpha had taken that from him. Wriggling as the gel was smeared across his stomach, both he and Eren were holding their breaths "Ah. Here we go. Eren, meet your baby" The tiny human in the sea of black was the most amazing thing Levi had ever seen "You look to be about 11 weeks... here, do you want to hear your baby's heartbeat?" Tears filled his eyes. The strong sound stirring his alpha "Do you know the approximate date of conception?" Levi cough to clear his throat, choked up on emotion "Around the 10th of April or so" The technician nodded, typing on his keyboard "All these measurements are looking good. There's a little more fluid than I'd expect. But nothing to be worried about. At this stage, everything looks to be going smoothly. Are we doing the genetic screening tests today?" Eren looked up at him for an explanation "Yeah... yeah. Don't worry. It's just to make sure nothing is wrong with the baby" Normally his obstetrician would take care of that, but Levi hadn't made that appointment as he was still yet to see his doctor. His brain couldn't math "Wait. Just for clarification, conception date..." The man looked like he'd heard the question a million times before "Looks about right for April. Is there some question over the father?" "N-no" For all the times to fucking stutter. Eren looked hurt, his eyes shifting back to the screen "Do you two need a moment? We can take a blood sample and perform a DNA test" "No, it's fine..." He was going to be a father... and suddenly he was kicking himself all over again for his behaviour and attitude. Burying his face in Eren's hair, he breathed in deeply. He'd been such a fucking arsehole to him. This was his pup. He'd been a shitty jealous idiot for nothing. Eren hadn't loved the placenta sample being taken. Levi taking his hand and having it crushed during the procedure. He'd perked up when receiving photos from the procedure, but fallen silent all over again as they left the room. Stopping by the bathroom for Eren's sake, his omega brushed him off and ignored him completely when he came out. Letting himself out ahead of Levi, Erwin rose to great the omega, while Levi was left jogging to catch up to the pair as they walked towards the exit "So? How did it look?" "I'm the father. I'm going to be a father. We're having a pup" Erwin's smile was huge as he pulled both him and Eren into crushing hug "Congratulations! That has to be a relief" Eren shoved Erwin off of him, his eyes filled with tears "I told you I never f-fucking slept with anyone else!" His boyfriend's voice was gravelly from lack of use. Erwin's smile dropped, while Levi looked away in shame "You said you'd love me, and my pup. But you hated it when you thought it wasn't yours" Coughing, Eren's hand went to his throat "Eren, rest your throat. It's going to feel weird talking again" "I'm done" Levi felt like those two words went right through him "What do you mean you're done?! You go missing and show back up in a mental facility, pregnant. You're not fucking talking about what happened and you weren't fucking pregnant when you left! How am I supposed to take all this?! I fucking you love. I love you and you left again. So of course I'm going to have trouble adjusting to the fact you're fucking pregnant. Of course I'm going to be fucking jealous someone else touched you. You never fucking said anything. Do you know how worried I was about you? Do you? Do you have any idea what I went through? I thought you were dead and then you showed up in the middle of nowhere. So yes. I didn't love that pup. But you didn't give me a chance. If I had time to think or five fucking minutes to myself, I might have been able to sort out how I felt, but every waking moment I've been by your side" "We should take this outside" Erwin was right, they'd attracted attention. But Eren wasn't done "Fine. You want me gone again. I get it. I want to go Hanji's" Eren rasped out the words, grimacing in discomfort "Look. I think you both need to calm down. Eren, Levi loves you. And yes, he lost his mind when you disappeared again. You've had time to get adjust to this pregnancy, and he hasn't. It's not easy for an alpha to accept their omega has been touched by another, and with no idea how far along you were, Levi couldn't control the anger his alpha has been supplying. He wanted a future with you, so he's been trying to figure out how you felt about this pup and pregnancy. Especially after what you both went through when you thought you may be pregnant. If it was from a non-consensual encounter, he was preparing to support you, no matter what you chose. Everything he's done, has been for you. Think about what he's been through" Eren burst into tears, hugging himself tightly. Levi was slightly in shock from Erwin being able to explain things so easily. It was everything he wanted to tell Eren "Look. I was a dick. I was jealous at the idea it wasn't mine. I do love you. And I'm sorry for being an arsehole. It's just a lot. All of this is a lot. It's all happening so fast. Shit. I sound like a shitty idiot. Do you get it? I'm sorry"

The Thrill of First Love (DC TV)

Title from the musical Falsettos. A sort of loose prequel to my role play dating series.

Title: The Thrill of First Love Fandom: DC TV Rating: edging into R Word Count: 7546 In Responds to: ColdWave Week 2018: Date Night Characters: Len, Mick, random ocs Warnings: referenced child abuse, some slut shaming, mild violence Summary: Four role plays that didn't end up as intended and one that worked out anyway.

The First Time

Len checked himself in the mirror for the third or fourth time that hour. He was nervous, excited and had no clue what clothing was apropos to wear given the situation.

The situation being a date. With Mick.

Mick had been surprisingly against it at first. Adamantly so. Len hadn’t considered Mick would turn down anything that got him sex- specifically sex with Len -especially for something as tame as this but Len had to wear him down over the course of a month for it. The scene wasn’t anything complicated or ostentatious, just the standard ‘plumber come to lay some pipe’ type deal. They wouldn’t be leaving the apartment, it would take minimal acting and no one would see them.

And, the condition that eventually won Mick over, if he didn’t like it after the first time, Len wouldn’t ask him again. But he’d have to make an actual effort of it. Len was determined to make this work as he had some very specific and elaborate fantasies he was hoping to sell Mick on after he’d gotten comfortable with the act. Which was why Len kept overthinking his wardrobe. All the research he’d done watching shitty porn role plays had been fairly exclusively women in sheer robes and teddies, fawning against the door as they let the handyman in.

It didn’t really give Len a lot of options or ideas. In the end he decided on one of Mick’s button-up flannels, because Mick loved Len wearing his clothes, with the barest few buttons done up so it threatened to slide off one shoulder. Under that was a pair of old jeans whose various holes- which caused Len to stop wearing them originally -had been carefully worked wider to give off tantalizing glimpses of pale skin. In addition to that was a couple polished rings and a pendant necklace that hung to rest on his breastbone because Mick liked shiny things.

There was a knock on the door and Len sucked in a breath. He checked himself in the mirror one last time, ran a hand through his hair, too short to do anything with, and went to the door. He checked the peephole, just in case, and after seeing Mick there, opened the door. He leaned against it, angling his shoulders so his shirt fell open just a little bit more. “Yes?”

Mick stood there looking more than a little uncomfortable. He had a toolbox in one hand and a toolbelt low on his hips. The coveralls he wore were slightly too small on Mick which made them very tight around the thighs and ass and impossible to zip all the way due to Mick’s broad shoulders. Which meant showing off a lot of chest under a tight, all but transparent white tank top. Len had picked out his clothes specifically and he licked his lips because Mick looked better than he imagined. “You called a plumber?” Mick asked, voice gruff and a little stiff.

“Of course,” Len stepped back, sultry and low, sweeping a hand in invitation, “come in.”

Mick just shouldered his way in with a grunt, barely giving Len a second glance which caused Len to frown. Guess he was playing hard to get. That was fine. Len squared his shoulders and followed, refusing to be deterred. Mick was already in the kitchen, rattling around the cabinet under the sink. Plumbing was one of the few maintenance areas Mick didn’t actually know anything about. Len leaned up next to him, almost close enough to brush up against Mick’s shoulder with his leg. Close enough that Mick could lean over and lick at an exposed strip of thigh through a ragged hole if he wanted to.

Len frowned harder when Mick didn’t take a peek. “So,” Len said conversationally, “do you have any ideas what the problem might be?”

“Probably a clog or something.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll be able to take care of me.” When Mick just grunted, Len bit back a snap to at least give him something to work with. “You certainly seem capable with those big, strong hands of yours.”

“I guess.”

Len dropped his head back and seethed between his teeth. “Mick.”

The clattering stopped. “What?”

“You said you’d at least try.”

Mick pulled back, glaring up at Len. “I don’t know what you want me to do.”

“Act interested, maybe?”

“I’d be more interested if I didn’t have to do this stupid act!” Mick pushed himself off the floor, stomping to the opposite side of the kitchen, turning to glare at Len with his arms crossed. “It’s just sex, why d'you wanna complicate it?”

Despite himself, Len felt himself getting angry on top of frustrated. “What, you want to go back to fumbled handjobs that we’d pretend never happened? Because you fucking me is more complicated than that. This,” he waved a hand between the two of them, “being open about sex and what we wanted complicated shit. But suddenly me wanting to try something new is crossing a line.”

“I just don’t get it!” Mick exploded. “Why do you need,” he waved at the toolbelt and coveralls, “all this? What I do isn’t good enough anymore?”

Something in Mick’s voice, in his choice of words made Len stop short and from the way Mick clenched his jaw, like he’d said too much, made it obvious there was something in there that needed unpacking. “Mick,” he said quietly and Mick looked away, knowing a conversation he didn’t want to have was coming, “what’s the real problem you’re having with this?”

Mick pressed his lips into a thin line, wanting and not wanting to say at the same time. Len waited, patiently, eyes intent on his partner. Eventually Mick ducked his head lower, shoulders hunched defensively. His voice was so low Len leaned in slightly to hear. “Isn’t this enough for you?”

Len drew back, surprised and a little stung. “Wait, you think I’ve been pushing for this role playing stuff because I’m not satisfied with you?” Mick hunched his shoulders further. “Look at me- Mick, look at me.” When Mick did so, Len held his eyes and said very seriously, “That is absolute crap. The only reason I’m willing to do this at all is because you’re the only one I’d be comfortable doing this with.”

“But you want to pretend I’m someone else,” he said quietly.

Len had to shut his eyes and take a deep breath. He’d been trying, for years, to help Mick through his issues, just as Mick had been trying to deal with Len’s. But that right there smacked of the father Mick could never do right by, the grandmother convinced that the devil lived inside Mick, the mother that thought her youngest son was some sort of punishment and if they weren’t already dead, Len would be sorely tempted to kill them for the damage they’d done to his partner.

“It’s not like that,” he said when he was certain he had his voice under control. “It’s like… Remember eight months ago, when we hit that auction?”

The memory brought a gleam of amusement to Mick’s eyes. “You went as some cattle farmer from Montana with that ridiculous cowboy hat and a bolo tie.”

“You wore a tailored suit, wireframe glasses and slicked back hair.” Len’s lips quirked at the memory. “And we almost missed our cue because we kept flirting at the bar instead of being in our positions.”

Mick chuckled. “Yeah.”

“It’s like that. Only we’re not doing it for a job, just acting like two strangers that decide to hook up.” He traced a finger down the zipper of the coveralls, stopping just below Mick’s sternum. “It’s just a game, Mick. Just shaking things up a bit.”

Mick stayed silent for a moment. “Just a game?”

“Yeah. Don’t want anyone the way I want you.”

He lifted his hand, sliding it around Len’s, fingers moving against Len’s palm. “...okay.”

“Okay?”

Mick shrugged, still not really looking at Len. “We can try again.”

“Are you sure? I told you I’d stop asking if you decided you didn’t like it.”

Mick finally looked at him, expression of somewhat wry humor. “The condition was I’d have to put effort into it. Which I didn’t really do, so.”

Len’s lips split into an eager grin. “Alright then. We’ll try again in a few days.” He stepped in close, lifting his hands to cup Mick’s face. “If it starts to mess with your head, just tell me and we’ll stop, okay?”

He looked both relieved and ashamed at being relieved about it. “Okay.”

So Len kissed him softly and pulled Mick away from the kitchen. “C’mon, let’s see if there's anything worthwhile on tv.”

Dressed Up

Mick didn’t generally like clubs. Too much noise, too many people and in the right circumstances he could easily feel dangerously claustrophobic. But for the sake of their playdates- as Mick came to call them -and their first in a public space, he figured he could deal with a little discomfort. Especially when Len promised him a surprise with that unfairly sexy smirk that always gave Mick the urge to fall to his knees.

He’d taken over one of the tables by the wall, further away from the dancing but unfortunately close to a speaker. He checked his watch, then his beeper. Normally the beepers were only for jobs but Len broke them out in case they ended up not being able to find each other in the crowd. Mick had scoffed at the precaution then but now that it was nearing half an hour without seeing Len he was starting to consider using it.

The beeper lit up and vibrated in his hand. Mick didn’t recognize the number but there was only one person that it could be. He went to the closest emergency exit where a bouncer was leaning against the wall and got directions to the pay phones in the back.

It was blessedly quiet back there, relatively speaking, the music faded but still audible, walls thrumming with the bass. As Mick turned into the corridor he saw someone duck out of view around the corner. He’d only caught a glimpse but that was all he needed to recognize Len. Huffing a breath, Mick followed after, passing by the phones and one person chatting drunkenly into one.

At the end of the corridor was a door that, judging from what he could see in the low light filtering through the open doorway, was a supply closet. Mick snorted, stepping in, using his foot to maneuver a plastic dustpan to keep the door from closing completely in case it automatically locked. “Decided to have a clandestine meeting in the janitor’s closet instead?” Mick asked sarcastically, fumbling along the wall until his fingers flicked the light switch on. Mick’s breath caught in his chest.

Len was wearing a skirt.

It was far from the first time Mick had seen him in one, just like it wasn’t the first time he’d seen Len in make-up though that was much rarer. But while the other skirts were plain and unassuming, this was shiny. Decorative. Short enough to emphasize the length of Len’s legs. The tights he wore were dark with some subtle pattern to them and he’d traded in his heavy boots for sleek ones that laced all the way up his calves. He wore a tight tank top with a sheer shirt over it which didn’t hide Len’s scars but the glitter on his shoulders and chest certainly distracted from them. There was a choker, a dangling earring and the make-up emphasized Len’s already gorgeous features and Mick had to wonder if someone manage to slip something in his drink because this was a goddamn vision in front of him. A fantasy Mick hadn’t realized he was dreaming about.

Len, uncharacteristically nervous, shifted a bit and Mick swallowed hard at the way the skirt moved over his thighs. “I, uh, think I was a little ambitious for a first outing.”

“Yeah?” Mick asked, barely hearing Len’s words.

“Yeah. I don’t… really want anyone to see me like this.”

Mick managed to come back to himself. “Didn’t you come in the front?”

Len snorted. “Of course not. I snuck around the side.” Trust Len to find a way to get out of paying for something.

“So you wanna leave?” That was fine by Mick. The drinks were overpriced and he did not want an audience for when he finally got Len within arm’s reach.

“Yeah. I know this was my idea and all-”

“It’s fine.”

Mick’s quick response made Len pause, seeming to finally notice the way Mick couldn’t stop looking at him. He shifted and Mick’s eyes were drawn back to the skirt again, lips parting softly. Len smirked, his confidence coming back and that transformation was enough to make Mick’s dick twitch.

“You know, if I didn’t know any better,” Len drawled lightly, “I’d think you liked this outfit.”

Mick rumbled in agreement.

Len held out his hand. “Jacket, Mick.” Something suspiciously close to a whine came out of Mick and Len laughed at it even as Mick obediently passed the jacket over. “Don’t worry,” he said, pulling the item on and zipping it up. It was long enough to fall to Len’s hips, leaving just enough skirt that Mick’s hands twitched, wanting to feel it. “You’re being such a good sport about it, I think you deserve a reward.” He walked up close, a hypnotizing sway to his hips. “How would you like to get down on your knees for me, bury your head under my skirt and wrap those pretty lips around my cock?”

Mick moaned.

“Which would you prefer? Me bending you over so you can feel my skirt flutter over your ass as I pound you or do you want me bouncing on your dick, only getting the barest glimpse of my cock under my skirt?”

“Fuck, Lenny.” Mick made an aborted move with his hands. If he touched Len now they’d never get out of this closet.

Len planted a hand in the middle of Mick’s chest, pushing him backward. “Take me home, Mick. We’ve got a long night ahead of us.”

Bad Timing

There had always been one fantasy that stayed with Len ever since he was a little boy. It hadn’t been a sexual one back then, of course, and even now it didn’t always have to be. He just wanted someone to take care of him. To spoil him and dote on him, treat him like he was something precious. It was the escapist fantasy of a trapped, frightened child wishing someone would take him and Lisa away from their father, who would protect them, give them anything they wanted and never let them feel afraid of anything. Their grandfather had tried, but he had enough problems of his own that Len always felt worse for it.

As he grew up part of Len began to resent that fantasy. No one was going to save him and after their grandfather died, no one other than Lisa cared about Len. And as he got more cynical, Len knew that anyone that wanted to treat him like that would just be looking to control him, wring whatever they wanted from him as payment for his debts.

That resentment would wax and wane but never truly went away even after Len accepted that Mick didn’t want anything from him. At least not anything Len wasn’t already doing for him. They were partners. Equals. They still occasionally struggled to balance each other out but it worked out for them. In time even that resentful part grudgingly agreed that Mick wouldn’t hold the fantasy of being a kept man over Len’s head but he still couldn’t bring himself to do it. With his reputation and skill and confidence growing day by day, his pride simply wouldn’t allow it.

It was part of the beauty of role play, the ability to assume another identity with it’s own needs- and lack of Len’s hang ups -for a short amount of time. He hadn’t brought up role playing to Mick specifically in order to fulfill his Pretty Woman fantasies but it was still something Len had slowly built towards over the years. Even now it was a rare scenario for them to do, one Len only brought up when his emotions were so strung out his ego swung from fierce independence to demanding to be pampered.

This time around they had broken into some ridiculously fancy home in the Ozarks, a kind of get-away ‘cabin’ for the owner of a statewide grocery chain. It had been easy enough for Len to charm the wife’s schedule- a state elected official -from a staff member and knew she was taking the family for a camping trip in Arizona for some sort of astronomy event. Which gave Len and Mick an entire weekend to indulge in Len’s favorite role play.

He prepped for it by disabling the security, cameras and motion sensor lights earlier that day and had gotten a spare key made to help sell the authenticity of it. Plus some cash and liquid assets that were just lying around, using Len’s veteran thieving definition of the term. They led into it- Mick playing the cheating husband and Len his ‘mistress’ -by going to some fancy gala followed by dinner at a high-end restaurant, with Mick plying Len with all sorts of fancy gifts throughout. They drove to their chosen home in the most absurd car in the husband’s vehicle collection- Mick loved the butterfly doors, Len couldn’t help mentally listing all the shady collectors they could sell it to -with Mick’s hand resting on Len’s crotch the entire way. Occasionally he’d squeeze or rub but it was just so carelessly proprietary that Len couldn’t help arching into it, biting back moans for more.

The best thing about this fantasy, and playing it out with Mick specifically, was that Mick always seemed to know just how ‘owned’ Len wanted to feel. And when the role play was over, that sense of ownership didn’t bleed into their partnership.

Len was on the verge of clawing into the seat by the time they finally pulled up the driveway- prevented only by the knowledge it would affect resale value. Len was too wired to wait for Mick to play the gentleman and get his door. Mick must have been feeling the same because he tossed the spare key to Len so that while Len was unlocking the front, Mick’s hands could wander freely over his hips and ass. Len was glad for his prep work because he would have been extremely distracted to pick the lock and disable the security otherwise.

When the door swung open, Mick spun Len around and, in a move that always left Len gasping with a rush of arousal, lifted him until Len wrapped his legs around Mick’s waist. “Like being a fucking tease, don’t you?” Mick growled, pressing his face against Len’s neck as he moved them into the house. “It’s like you were daring me to strip you down and take you in front of everyone all night. Was that what you wanted?”

Len just moaned, hands everywhere, trying to touch every part of Mick within reach at once.

“Gonna lay you out on the biggest damn bed in the place,” Mick growled, shutting the door behind him with a heel. “Won’t be wearing nothing all weekend but my wife’s most expensive jewelry. Maybe a fur coat while I suck champagne off your body.” Len shuddered, hands tugging at smooth material of Mick’s sports coat. “Gonna take such good care of you, baby, don’t gotta lift a finger for nothing. I’ll feed you anything you want, I’ll carry you to the tub, rub you down with oils. And I’m gonna have you anytime and any way I like. Every time my cock so much as twitches when I look at you, I’m gonna sink right in that tight ass or sweet mouth and use you till I cum all over you.”

“Yes,” Len whispered, breathless against the side of Mick’s head, rutting helplessly against Mick’s stomach as he was carried in. It was only about 10% an act. “Please,” he dropped kisses along Mick’s face and head, “please please please-”

“Begging already?” Mick’s hands flexed and Len rocked into them. “Wanna lick you open,” Len’s trousers were too smooth for Mick to get the grip to pull his ass cheeks apart but his intentions were still obvious and it made Len whine, “until you’re shuddering and sobbing for me to fuck you. Just a question of where. The couch? Kitchen counter? Maybe outside, see if I can make you scream loud enough you wake the neighbors.”

Len wanted to say anywhere Mick fancied- while cursing himself for not thinking to include the jacuzzi in prep -but something that had been on the edge of his awareness finally broke through the lust. He pushed away from Mick who, feeling Len tensing in his arms, obediently lowered him to the ground. “What is it?” Mick asked quietly.

“I didn’t leave the lights on when I left.”

They both went on the alert though neither went for their guns just yet. They didn’t normally carry weapons while on playdates, unless the roles they were taking had a reason to have them, but this was also technically a job as well and Len didn’t like doing those unarmed. Chalk another one to paranoia, he mused to himself while straining to get any sense of where another person could be lurking.

The two of them slid over to the nearest wall, Mick keeping an eye on the entryways opposite them, Len on the ones they approached. The second doorway revealed the ‘guests’. Len pulled back from the corner and mimed to Mick that there was a man and a woman in hushed discussion, the man holding a small lamp as a makeshift weapon. Mick nodded, not yet tensing up for a charge, waiting for Len to decide how they should handle this.

Unfortunately Len recognized the two, the man being one of the homeowners. Len and Mick could, of course, just shoot the place up, strip it of its valuables and head out with no one the wiser but Len had really been looking forward to a chill night of being pampered. The thought of working was almost enough to make him signal Mick to just turn around and leave. If the man hadn’t gathered up enough bravado to start shuffling- noisily -toward the hall, Len might have actually done that. Instead he signaled at Mick to hold and he crossed his arms, as if he was bored waiting for the man to confront them.

He jumped the corner with a “Ha!” and startled to find people there though Len was far enough out of lamp-swinging range he didn’t even try. “Who the hell are you?”

“What I want to know,” Len drawled irritably, “is why are you here?”

“This is my house!”

“And you should be in Arizona with the rest of the people that live in this house.” Len’s eyes flickered to the woman as she stepped out behind the man. “Instead you’re here with a call girl.” He held out a placating hand to the woman. “No offense, Rosanna.”

The woman- Rosanna -just chuckled and waved it off. “That’s literally my job, can’t really get offended by that.”

The man looked at her in shock. “You know these people?”

“Yeah. They got me away from my shitty pimp and helped me get a decent job.”

“How’ve they been treating you, by the way?” Mick asked. “Didn’t know you picked up clientele all the way out here.”

“Well, you know. If they can pay, why not. Job’s been great. I get medical and dental insurance,” she told her client conversationally while he was looking at them all like they were crazy. “I get final say in my clients and, for the first time ever, I get vacation days. It is the best.”

“Good to hear it,” Len said with a faint smile.

The man, however, didn’t share in the satisfaction, face red and livid. “Did you bring these two into my home?”

“What? What a stupid thing to think- why would I bring some guys to rob the place when I was going to be here with you?” Rosanna turned to the two. “You are robbing the place, right?”

“Yeah.”

“After fucking on every surface here.”

“Possibly multiple times.”

“What is going on?” The man hollered, obviously disliking how the conversation was out of his control.

“What’s going on,” Mick groused, “is you ruined our date.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

Rosanna clapped her hands, laughing. “I knew those rumors were true! Angelique is going to be so disappointed!”

“It’s a pretty open relationship and we certainly don’t mind a third every now and again.” Len’s tone was mostly playful but it was also the truth.

“I’ll pass that along.”

“Excuse me!” The man slammed the lamp against the wall, not caring that one of the fancy arms bent, a couple drooping crystals falling off. “Who are you, what are you doing here, and how do you,” he thrust the lamp at Rosanna, “know them? Do you fuck them, too?”

Rosanna drew back, stepping away from the man, one hand on her hip, the other poised to go from gesticulation to eye-raking in a split second. “Oh, you absolutely are not trying to shame me for having sex when you specifically hired me to fuck you and behind your wife’s back, at that.”

“‘Sides, if I spent as much as she’s worth, she’d better be experienced enough to give me the best night of my life,” Mick added. Len gave him a droll look. “Obviously not counting nights with you.”

“Charming,” Len drawled, but he was mildly amused by the addition.

“That doesn’t mean I need to know about it!” He protested, voice getting shriller the more evident it became no one actually cared about what he had to say.

She rolled her eyes to the heavens. “This is why I don’t fuck men outside of work.”

“Neither would I,” Len said.

“I’m calling the police!”

Without having to look at each other, both Len and Mick pulled out their guns in a smooth motion and the man froze. Having spent years working the worst parts of Central’s red light districts, Rosanna wasn’t the least bit fazed. “That would be a supremely idiotic move on your part,” Led said conversationally, “as you would have to explain to the police why you’re here with a call girl.”

He hesitated. “I… I could just say she’s with you two.”

“And when the police look up her information and find her place of employment which would have a record of your patronage?”

“Well, she could be helping you guys rob me.”

“So you’re gonna tell the cops you hired an escort, who attempted to rob you.” Mick said, giving the man a bored look. “What’d you tell your wife why you didn’t go out with the family again?”

“And do you really think someone wouldn’t be leaking a juicy story like this to the press?” Len asked. “Considering, if we don’t decide to just shoot you before you even make the call, we’d be long gone before the cops even got here, word of your infidelity getting out will be a lot more damaging to you and your wife than it could ever be to us.”

As the man floundered, jaw moving uselessly, Len weighed his choices. Killing the man was a possibility but he didn’t really want to deal with the investigation that would follow suit, especially since Rosanna was on record for being in his company. Tying him up and throwing him in a spare room while Len and Mick went about their original playdate idea was tempting but it wouldn’t be the same. Len would have the man’s presence constantly in the back of his mind. While the haul that Len got earlier in the day wasn’t terrible, it barely justified the travel. But then the Ozarks had a couple other disgustingly rich people he’d been eying before settling on this place. If they picked their targets carefully, they could do a b&e spree and be halfway back to Central before anyone realized what happened.

Len lifted his gun to point at the ceiling. “Mick, tie him up.”

Mick made a disappointed noise but holstered his weapon. The man, startled, made a feeble swing toward Mick who just caught his wrist in one hand and grabbed him by the throat with the other. He proceeded to bind the man with the cord from the lamp, hands behind his back.

“What- stop, you can’t- what are you doing?” Mick wrapped his arms around the man, lifting him off his feet and taking him to a plush, carpeted area. He pulled off the man’s trousers and bound his feet together with them.

“Hope you don’t gotta pee,” Mick said conversationally before giving him a patronizing slap on the cheek.

Len holstered his own gun. “We’re off, I suppose.” The man’s protests rose and Len said, “We’ll have the cops come check up on you in the morning. If we remember to call them.” With a parting smirk, and a wave from Mick, they turned back toward the door. Rosanna, going over to pick up the purse she left on a side table, followed after.

“You can’t just leave!”

“Uh, yes I can.” Rosanna barely looked over her shoulder at her bound client. “One of the clauses in your contract says I’m allowed to walk away at any point if you’ve done anything I find objectionable. And I very much object to being slut shamed and you wanting to frame me for robbery. Fine print, by the way, also states that while you’re free to complain, if my boss believes you’re in the wrong, you do not get a refund.”

“Goddamn,” Mick said in admiration. “That job is amazing.”

“I know, right?”

They took the car still parked outside as a consolation prize, Rosanna getting into the backseat. While Len doubted the man wouldn’t be dumb enough to report the car stolen tonight- if he even got himself free -he didn’t want to take the chance of hanging onto it for too long. Which meant instead of selling it to a collector, he’d have to see if any of his contacts knew of a chop shop in the area and settle for that.

“Anywhere you want us to drop you off?” Len asked Rosanna as he scrolled through his locked and coded phone list.

“A decent hotel is fine. I’ll call work in the morning and they’ll reimburse me for the room and getting back.”

“Here.” Len passed a gem studded watch that Mick had ‘gifted’ to him earlier that night- which Len had stolen from the house earlier than that -to Rosanna. “For ruining your job.”

“It’s alright,” she said, accepting the gift anyway. “He’s tediously boring and sloppy, anyway. His wife is way better with her hands.”

Mick nearly drove them off the road laughing so hard.

Interloper

The bartender, in full view of Mick, filled up a glass with a rather fine brand of bourbon and placed it down in front of him. His second free drink of the night. He took it without looking around, assuming it was from Len and they’d be kicking this playdate into gear any moment now.

His outfit for the night was a bit more leather daddy than Mick was into, leather pants tight enough to make Bowie jealous, belt with a heavy buckle sitting low on his hips, boots that nearly went up to his knees, a biker jacket done up just enough for people to notice he wasn’t wearing anything under it and a heavy chain to help direct people to that fact. Honestly it wasn’t exactly comfortable and Mick could feel sweat gathering in annoying places but he wouldn’t deny that he liked the looks it was getting him.

It did a good job of mentally preparing him for Len’s chosen scenario of the big, dominating guy getting his tables turned by some sweet-faced mousey beauty that would tie him up and take him on the ride of his life. Mick’s pants were not at all hiding how that anticipation was turning him on.

“It’s a crime for someone like you to be sitting alone.”

The voice was a tip off, some east coast accent rather than one straight out of Central’s slums, but it still surprised Mick to turn and find someone other than Len taking the seat next to him. He was young, too old to be twink but still heavily playing into his youth and slender build. It was very faint but Mick could detect traces of make-up on the other man to help sell the illusion. Between the nice clothing, well manicured hands and carefully styled hair, he had plenty of disposable income or at least the willingness to make sacrifices for those things.

He leaned in close to Mick, elbow on the bar so he was bracketing Mick on one side. “How are your drinks?”

So that’s where they came from. Mick hid his disappointment as he examined what was left in his glass. “Not bad.”

“Thought you looked like the bourbon kind.”

Really Mick could drink just about anything no matter how bad it was. He definitely wouldn’t be passing up free drinks- ones that he knew were clean, anyway.

“Waiting for someone?”

Mick shrugged. “Someone interesting.”

“What do you consider interesting?”

Mick gulped the rest of his drink, resisting the urge to look around. While guys didn’t normally hit on him even inside gay bars, it happened often enough it no longer surprised Mick and it wasn’t like he and Len were exclusive, sexually speaking. But he never had anyone come up to him during a playdate before and he didn’t know if he should be turning the guy down or just playing along.

“I guess,” Mick said slowly, “if I think he can keep up with me.”

The young man’s eyes lit up, mouth curling up in a way that was distracting. “And how do you figure if he can?” He ran a hand along the seams of Mick’s jacket, up to where it parted and revealed his bare chest. “Match you drink for drink?” His finger traced over Mick’s skin, dragging the edge of his fingernail and raising goosebumps in his wake. “Someone that will do any little thing you say?” His hand slipped under the jacket, flicking at the hard nub of Mick’s nipple. “Maybe take him somewhere for a test run?” He licked his lips, eyes dropping to the prominent bulge of Mick’s crotch.

Mick’s heart picked up, trying to figure out how to bow out of this before he got in too deep.

“Get your skanky hands off my partner.”

He couldn’t help letting out a breath of relief, turning to find Len glaring icily at the interloper. He was hardly intimidating in full hipster gear but Mick relaxed just having him there.

The young man pulled back, glowering right back. “Who the fuck are you?”

Len took the opportunity to force his way between the two. “The guy giving you the chance to walk away on your own two feet.”

He looked over Len’s shoulder at Mick and Mick just held his hands up. “He’s the boss in this relationship. He says no, then that’s all there is to it.”

The young man looked absolutely affronted. “Wait, are you seriously some asshole’s bitch?”

Len was too close to throw a decent punch but had plenty of room to get a good crack in with his elbow. The other man fell against the bar, blood streaming from his nose and Mick laughed in delight. “I don’t tolerate disrespect to my partner. Especially when you were desperate to gag on his cock in front of the whole damn bar not a minute ago.”

With his expression twisted into fury, the young man pulled out a switchblade and in an instant, Len had him by the wrist, smashing it down onto the bar hard enough he dropped the knife. With his other hand, Len grabbed the back of the man’s neck, slamming him into the bar as well. The poor idiot gasped from the pain of the impact as well as the strain the angle was putting on his shoulder.

Len leaned down and hissed into his ear, “I see you near my partner again, you’ll spend the rest of your life carrying your dick in a handbag.” He pulled back abruptly and the man slide to the ground. “Get out of my sight.”

He scurried out of the bar and Len turned to Mick. His eyes were narrow and jaw hard but Mick knew him well enough to tell when Len wasn’t angry at him. Mick could feel a big doofy grinned spreading over his face, hopelessly aroused by his partner. “Fuck, I love when you’re pissed.”

Len gave Mick’s clothing a pointed look. “Who picked out your outfit?”

“Lisa.”

Len’s lips twisted like he was deciding if he should thank her or yell at her for it. “Tell her not to do such a good job next time.”

Mick laughed loudly, hooking his foot behind Len’s knee, drawing his partner in between his thighs. “I dunno. Always love seeing you get hot over me. Staking your claim.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I always keep my cool.”

“Right. Damn near snapping someone’s arm out their socket is ‘keeping cool’.” Mick tilted his head, nosing along the side of Len’s neck. “Bet I could heat you up some more.”

“We’ll see.” Len’s voice wasn’t nearly as calm as his words, breathy and rough and Mick growled in response. Len grabbed Mick by the jacket and pulled him off his stool. “You going to backup your claim?”

Mick grinned, wide and victorious, ignoring the shocked and bewildered stares of those around them. “Always do.”

Sure, the night didn’t go as planned but Mick still got drilled so thoroughly he couldn’t sit right for a few days. That was a win in his book.

Change Up

The bartender held out Mick’s regular order. “Waiting for someone?”

“We’ll see who comes around,” he replied, accepting the glass as it was passed to him. The bartender stepped back with a nod. It had become a kind of pass phrase through the years at their regular places, alerting those who knew to run interference on anyone that might infringe on Mick and Len’s playdate.

Technically it wasn’t a playdate this time around as Len was in jail. Or rather was getting out of jail. The two of them had split up again about a week before he got picked up on, as Mick found after asking around, a bullshit charge. The police trying to put the fear of the law in him by tossing him in the clink for a couple months, never mind the fact that it just gave Len a chance to network with the crooks there. Fifteen, twenty years ago being on his own in prison might have made Len nervous but he built too strong a reputation by now. No one was willing to cause him trouble or allow others to cause him trouble, not when knowing Len would systematically ruin their lives in return. Or face Mick’s fiery vengeance as, outs or not, no one fucked with his partner.

So now here was Mick, sitting in a bar the two frequented on the day Len was supposed to be released, pretending he wasn’t waiting to see his partner again.

“This seat taken?”

Mick looked over his shoulder, heart aching at the sight of Len. He was looking a little pale, a little ragged, the bags under his eyes dark and his cheeks more gaunt than they should have been. Mick’s blood boiled and he gave a short shake of his head; opening his mouth would risk him breaking character at that moment. Just because other criminals knew better than to fuck with Len, that didn’t mean the guards would extend him the same consideration. Iron Heights, after all, was one of the more notoriously draconian prisons in the country for a reason.

Len sat on the stool next to Mick, gesturing for a drink that appeared in short order. Mick couldn’t look away, committing every bruise, every vaguely discolored patch of skin to memory. Len would never tell him who was behind them but Mick had plenty of friends on the inside. They’d give him at least a few names.

“See something you like?” Len asked, giving Mick a flirty, sideways look. It was his default character, the one they used when neither wanted a complicated role play. It wasn’t all that different from seductive, playful Len asides from the fact that it was in public. It was pretty guaranteed to get Mick going in short order. This time around, however, it wasn’t quite what he wanted.

On a whim, Mick decided to do something they rarely did on either a playdate or a job: he switched up the play. “I knew you were doing this to yourself.” He cupped Len’s face, familiar and gentle, feeling the rough stubble prickling his palm. “Don’t know why I thought your workaholic tendencies would stop when I left. You look terrible.”

Len huffed in quiet laughter, leaning into the touch slightly. Mick quietly thrilled at the fact Len just went with it. “This wasn’t any more your fault than the other times were. I did this to myself.” He turned his head, brushing his lips against Mick’s hand briefly before leaning away. “I get why you left. It’s not your responsibility to take care of me all the time.”

That… hit a little closer to home than Mick was prepared for. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Pretty sure you’ve done your share of taking care of me, too.”

“Not nearly enough. I’d give you the world, you know. It’s the least you deserve.”

“Does the world include you?”

Len’s eyes widened in surprise and while there was always some tiny kernel of honesty in all their playdates, Mick wasn’t certain how much was in this one. Not for Len or himself. “You- it- I can’t keep dragging you down.”

“You don’t.” Mick rested his arm on the bar, hand blatantly in Len’s space. After a moment’s hesitation, Len placed his hand over top of Mick’s. “Honestly, I do better when I’m keeping an eye on you. Have something to focus on, something to keep me busy.” That wasn’t lighting fires. “So,” he wove their fingers together, “I’m thinking about taking you home. Make sure you’re fed, tame that mop of yours a bit,” Len chuckled, touching his hair that had gotten long enough for the curls to edge into unkempt angles. “Then, when I know you’re rested, I’ll use you like a toy.”

Len spluttered and laughed, looking young in a way Mick hadn’t seen in too damn long. “So that’s the truth, huh? You’re willing to take care of me so long as I repay you in sex.”

“Sounds like a good deal to me.”

Still grinning, eyes still shining, Len pulled Mick from his stool. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

This has been building up for a while and this recent “bible” argument really bothers me. I can’t and won’t stay quiet about this. This is pungent with Fox News and the extreme Republican views. How can you not feel for people. It is genuinely upsetting and heart breaking. Those who stand on the side of coldness and disregard for life. You’re beyond despicable. There just aren’t words powerful enough to describe how much. Hypocritical. Sickening. These are words we could rightfully use to set the tone for an administration that strongly advocates putting children into concentration camps, separating families, while at the same time declaring it always necessary to follow through with every pregnancy. How cruel and lacking self awareness can you be? No, this is done in order to keep people down, and maintain control. Willful ignorance evolves into ultimate evil again.

I am not a sadness seeking person. I’m not the misery chick. Coming off a good high, actually. I’m living my life, feeling good. Aren’t I a lucky duck. Sweat is smelly, but it feels so good to get out of my skin for a bit. Looking more fit, take a pic, feeling happy. Whelp, let’s take a little trip to yon’ internet, gonna post another selfie of my cute face, look at those dimples! Wait, I’m not looking at my dimples anymore.

Looking at what’s going on in the world instead, so I continue reading NEWS, which is based on FACTS. I know. REALLY crazy to hear. Hopefully that catches on one day. Regardless, I am incredibly saddened. Only wish to repost the unpleasant articles I read, hoping it helps create awareness. It doesn’t feel like an appropriate time for sharing pleasantries or my happiness, because I’m truly very upset with the direction this current regime is leading our nation.

We weren’t too far from that standard already, but snowflakes are pushing back hard, trying to double down on ending crucial necessities needed to maintain a semi-capable, albeit heavily flawed, semi-civilized society. So many people have died to protect the right just to exist with dignity, relative to that previously stated fact alone, as it pertains mainly to the elongated fight for basic human rights. People of all races and cultural backgrounds have died for that much. I’m wholeheartedly dissatisfied and sickened by the actions of not just the notorious current administration, but the White House too, along with those who see the overall standard of humanity that so many people hold, as anything short of unacceptable. If you accept this, you should feel ashamed. I can’t say that enough, if you don’t hear your momma’s voice. If you continue to follow me, I’ll make sure you hear my voice enough.

I’ll make you feel something, whether you just stop reading because you can’t handle the truth, or if you’re feeling froggy, ready to speak against me, (I’ll weed y’all out.) or hey, you evolve at least far enough to want to see the world be better someday. (Work toward the latter.)

Therefore I am strongly urging and pleading with COGNITIVELY DISSONANT WHITE PEOPLE out there. It is long past time you MAKE A CHANGE, concerning the way you think about racism and race. SPECIFICALLY ADDRESSING people of PRIVILEGE here, anyone born into the Christian faith, not specific enough, here - WHITE PEOPLE! Yes, I am one, and I even fit all that above criteria. Well look at that. I can speak for myself and therefore others like me. Coming from a place where I was misdiagnosed AMAB (that’s assigned male at birth) I can absolutely say it is EASY for me to recognize the first 27 years of my life I was living with the highest standard of privilege in the United States. I still live with privilege as a white person, even as a transgender woman.

Anyone who knows me well enough, might say, “Well, Eris you’ve described what it’s like to live in an impoverished area, with high levels of crime, gang violence, and from what you tell me, you had reason to be afraid. That doesn’t sound like privilege” To which I would respond to myself as someone else, for the purposes of making a point in this hypothetical scenario that fits my point in the end, “Self that isn’t myself, because I’m not an idiot. We see comment sections for days, with white people fired up, wanting so bad to let the world know from their brand new iPhone, they experienced some semblance of living within poverty. White people essentially bragging about having a cup of coffee in the ghetto. It’s either that, or meth head white people living in a meth head white people neighborhood. Fox News’ most loyal demographic. White people who take unemployment, have tons of babies, vote Republican, damn liberals out there who are fighting to keep them off the street, with extremely limited resources given. Some viewers don’t know the definition of ironic, but isn’t it ironic? Ignorance isn’t at all self aware, until you spell it out for them slowly, and then there’s a chance they briefly acknowledge it before turning away, and forgetting it happened entirely. That said we must strive to look further than our individual experience for lessons.”

I heard that hot garbage living in Washington. Surrounded by meth heads. Working at the gas station, you here people talk. False arguments straight from hypocritical, entitled white people who are just looking to close the gap and get even more. So many of them are far too shameless, they’ll just admit it themselves. Who else are they going to tell? I can’t make this up. People who think like this are naturally afraid, as you should be. Fear clouds our minds far too often, but white people like this are next level.

Pissed off they have to share, like an overgrown petulant brat, ready to lick whatever unseen, promised hints of scum off a criminal inheritors shitty ass boot, as long as they feel like that boot isn’t treading on them. I’m not at all going to even get into my experience living in a bad neighborhood, here. I won’t even get into how long either. I can tell you, it was bad enough for me to want to know why. Now, I know why, and it’s more important to know. Privilege white politicians redistricting people based on race.

If you’re at all uncomfortable hearing white people, think how other people must be feeling about the whole sociology of race and everyday human relations. Oh I’m sorry, you can’t know, and neither can I. White people contribute to poverty maintaining class and privilege, institutionalizing racism through laws they create with that specific intention. Now they want to shut immigrants out entirely. The rich are a head of the curve in terms of closing the gap. Not out of strictly self preservation, the real goal is to maintain constant control and domination, basically keep people of color down.

This is barely getting close to just scratching the surface about race. A subject, I actually don’t like speaking a whole lot about. I don’t feel like I’m appropriate representation, for one thing. Personally, more of a reader on the subject. I will explain my experience learning about racism. It was fairly early on. I didn’t learn it, because of the area I lived in. The area I lived in was small, bad areas are small or larger depending on the states race issues and redistricting. I learned it before I moved there actually. There’s no way to put this without causing discomfort, so I apologize.

My biological donor called my former step dad the n word constantly. I actually asked him about it. I was very young, so I only remember my stepdad at the time, explaining certain things in a very delicate way, mostly to not harm my innocence. Saying he doesn’t actually feel like he’s a racist, that he’s just mad. It was hard on my mom and step dad to struggle with not wanting to shatter the image of my biological father, versus him basically doing it to himself. Being an empath, I recognized it was difficult, eventually I was calling them out on it. That doesn’t really have much to do with where I’m going, it’s just a bit of background to my mind altering experience as it pertains to learning about race.

Once I was older, around fifth or sixth grade, a few people would target me at school, because I’m white. It wasn’t until we got older, for the last couple years before I moved. I used to just be frustrated that we couldn’t keep seeing past it. I had yet to discover why that thought is selfish, but I was a good hearted kid. I thought it wasn’t fair, remembering how I felt, as it pertains to expecting people to learn English. How many extra languages are you fluent in, again. It isn’t easy for most people to casually pick up another language.

It’s important to realize, I’d been taught discrimination is wrong. I was taught not to blame other people for my problem. Once again, more learned behavior. My whole point is coming into fruition soon. Yes, I was discriminated against for being a white person. There it is, did you catch it? You might only be able to imagine why people of color would discriminate against white people; if you watch bullshit news and drink hot garbage for tea, wake up and smell the coffee!

If you are not lacking in awareness, you don’t have to look very far to see racism for what it is, and know the difference between perceived racism (discrimination) and racism as a contributing factor in our society. A real problem that effects people of color in so many complex ways, I truly can’t comprehend. It’s hard enough being trans and dealing with people hating you, before they know you at all. That’s one instance I can peel back in a big old nasty onion with many layers. Another privilege for white people, along with ignoring it, as far I am concerned it’s absolutely willful ignorance.

Deflate this desperate flotation mechanism and aesthetics. I hope this at least brings people the shame and guilt too many people are tired of feeling and want to just move past. Check yourself white people, you have no idea what it’s like to struggle daily as a disenfranchised person of color. You might have problems, but your privilege confines your experience.