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sneepseverus · 8 months

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Texting Snape Headcanons

Yeah, I know canonically technology doesn’t work in the wizarding world, but disrespectfully, I don’t care. Also this is obviously assuming Snape is living in today’s time.

Warning: NSFW under the cut (minors DNI)

SFW

Snape needs some time to get used to sending/receiving messages instantly. He’s gone his whole life not doing it, so he doesn’t see a need for it.

He values his peace and privacy, too, so hearing a buzzing phone or text notification can irritate him easily in the beginning.

But he learns how beneficial it can be. If he needs you to get something or vice versa, you can simply send a message instead of making each other come home and go back outside to get it.

He primarily texts to make sure you’re safe. If you’re not living together and he knows you went out late, he keeps checking his phone to see if you’ve texted that you’re home and can’t sleep until he knows you’re back.

He writes in full, grammatically correct sentences as he would in a letter. It takes him time to understand what certain acronyms mean, and he forgets them easily, so he has to be reminded multiple times.

Emojis also confuse him; why can’t you just use your words? But he finds certain ones like 🖕 funny.

He leaves you on read a lot unless you’re asking him a question or need something from him. He doesn’t understand that it can come across as rude or petty because do all messages really need a reply? But if it makes you feel better to not be left on read, then he might just say, “Okay,” or “Message received” or even send a 👍 emoji.

Will never argue or send a long message over text; that’s what face-to-face communication and letters are for.

Loves it when you send him sweet messages like, “I love you,” “Good morning,” “Good night,” etc. but doesn’t think to initiate those himself.

Once he discovers voice notes, he utilizes them frequently. He doesn’t listen to them back because he doesn’t like the sound of his own voice, but if he’s working on a potion or if his hands are just occupied, then he’ll use them. They’re not always concise like his texts, though; you’ll hear him mutter “fuck” if he’s dropped something or pause if he needs to shift his focus for a few seconds.

Even if he has a smartphone, he only uses it to communicate with you and maybe some other people. He has no interest in using the internet, apps, or social media.

NSFW

If you send him a nude or semi-nude photo, he’d throw his phone and wait until his heart rate becomes steady before picking it up, not because he doesn’t like you or want to look at it, but because it’d catch him off guard.

He’d type for a couple seconds but then undo everything because he’s at a loss for words. You might feel embarrassed, or maybe you knew that’s exactly the reaction he’d have.

Spicy texts detailing what you want to do with/to him (and honestly even mildly suggestive texts) make him equally flustered.

He has trouble reciprocating, but he eventually gets used to you sending these messages and even looks forward to them. He learns to keep his brightness low and incoming texts hidden unless he has unlocked his phone.

If you’re in a public setting and he’s horny, he’d text you to meet him somewhere more private (and leave it at that).

When he’s alone, he masturbates to your sexual pics/vids/messages.

Sometimes he purposely ignores your spicy texts just to rile you up. He types for a long time only to say, “Do you need anything? I’m going to the shops.”

If you have to be away from each other but you’re far too horny, he’d talk you through your orgasm. He’d have to resist masturbating himself because he’d want all of his attention on you. He’d send voice notes because he knows that his voice turns you on but only sparingly because he’d also want to tease you a bit.

He wants to keep all the hot photos and texts you send him, but he knows a thing or two about security, and he doesn’t know what he’d do if someone got their hands on them. Just the thought of it makes him angry, so he suggests keeping the photos to a minimum and physically coming to him when you’re in the mood. Yeah, it might distract him, but it’s not like the messages aren’t equally distracting, so might as well 😉

#snape #snape headcanons #snape love #snape imagine #pro snape #severus snape #severus snape headcanons #severus snape love #pro severus snape

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youremyheaven · 22 days

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I think you’re very wrong about Claire nakti’s video because she spoke about that story and how the fairy god mother and that marriage to the prince is an allegory to good fortune coming to a Saturnian after going through such hard time and developing qualities like resilience and staying kind when faced with cruel and rudeness behavior. She also talked about spirited away. She also spoke about how Saturnian are statistically (from her research) most likely to marry billionaires or people from upper class even if they come from poor backgrounds because of their inner qualities and beauty that gets recognized. She talks about Saturnian and their celibacy, they’re less likely to date around or hoe around, they tend to be late bloomers in their romantic life but once they do get in a relationship it tends to be with someone who recognizes their value and that is a « dream » come true. She talks about love and romance in all of her nakshatras videos even the ones for men so idk why you’re making it sound as if it’s male centred when it’s not. You need to watch it fully.

I didn't cite the UBP vid as the solitary example of Claire centering men, I was pointing out how it irked me

Every single Claire video is centred around men and love lol. Nothing wrong with love or men but there's more to every nak than just that

Also I do remember all of this but I also have an issue with how it's framed to be "Saturnians are good people who will be rewarded with a rich & loving man" when a better narrative would be how much abuse, unfairness and injustice UBP/Saturn natives endure in their life & how they rise up beyond it. And how good fortune comes for them in many ways including by marrying into wealth. By titling the video "Billionaire's Bride" she made her whole focus on them marrying rich & why which is imo very one dimensional.

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mistressoftherant-blog · 9 months

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TMNT Fandom Issues

I think I've already mentioned this before, but I've been seeing it happen more and more lately, and it's infuriated me enough to make another post about it. Can people please stop dragging other turtles and other 'verses in where they have no relevance?

I was watching some Donnie vids on TikTok and, without fail, almost every video had someone in the comments going, "Oh, but Mikey solos", "Oh, but Leo solos", etc, etc.

No one cares. Genuinely, wholeheartedly, someone making a post showing cool clips of Donnie fighting or being angry, is not inviting a bunch of people to come whining in the comments about how much cooler their fave is.

I see this the most with Mikey fans who refuse to shut up about The Last Ronin or Rise!Mikey and will shove them into everything, even posts that they have absolutely no connection to.

I was mostly watching videos of 12!Donnie, and whenever I looked in the comments, there'd be someone mentioning how one of the other turtles solo. And whenever anyone would be like, "well, Mikey doesn't actually solo', The Last Ronin would be wheeled out as an argument.

The Last Ronin has no bearing on any other iterations. Just because Mikey is the last one standing, and is incredibly strong, in that version does not mean that he's the strongest in every version. If any other turtle was the last one standing, they'd probably end up just as strong as The Last Ronin. Even so, stop drawing Last Ronin into conversations that aren't about him. If I'm discussing 03!Donnie for example, I do not want to hear about how amazing Last Ronin supposedly is. The character and plot do not interest me at all, and every time it's thrust into my view by someone clumsily trying to take attention away from another character or 'verse, it makes me even less inclined to ever give it a go.

And before anyone comes at me with the whole "Mikey has the most potential canonically", I would like to highlight that having the most potential and being the strongest are not the same thing. If he put more effort in, sure, maybe he'd be the strongest in every 'verse. But as it stands, the strongest is usually Raph, and the best fighter is usually Leo and/or Raph. (No, I am not counting Rise!Mikey as the strongest turtle to ever exist because most of his physical strength is reliant on his mystic powers. The Bayverse boys can straight up yeet storage containers with no powers).

Also, just because Donnie is usually one of the weaker fighters (I would argue that he is one of the strongest in 87 and Rise, though Rise weirdly tries to nerf him after the Draxum fight), doesn't mean that he can't keep up with his brothers. He is not weak. They all work with heavy machinery, train daily, and are great with strategy for the most part.

Deliberately going onto posts/vids/fics only to diss the character that they are about and try to shove your own fave down people's throats is not going to win you any friends. It's insufferable. Why don't I start going on any posts about Mikey or Leo and say how dumb they are compared to Donnie? It would be an unfair comparison as Donnie is made to be the smart one, but that's what Leo and Mikey stans keep doing to Donnie content. Donnie isn't meant to be the strongest or the best fighter, which I've accepted, but that doesn't mean he isn't a BAMF in his own right, with some pretty cool fight scenes.

If content does not contain your fave character, do not shoehorn them in, and/or degrade the character it's actually about. It's rude, annoying, and it's part of the reason that certain parts of the fandom (*cough* Rise *cough*), get such a bad reputation. All you are doing is making people hate your favourite characters and series, which means less chance of getting content including them.

Also, Rise!Fans, stop trying to make Mayhem posts about Risem I saw a video saying that the fight scenes in Mayhem are awesome (which they are, the animation I'd beautiful and the flow of the fights scenes is handled incredibly well), and one of the first comments was about how "I've not watched the movie yet, bit I doubt that they can beat the Rise first scenes." Firstly, if you havent watched the movie, shut up. You cant compare something you haven't seen with something that you already watched. Secondly, it is entirely possible to say that the fight scenes in both are great. Here, I'll do out right now, I think every iteration of TMNT have some great fight scenes, and Rise and Mayhem bitj definitely have something beautifully animated and choreographed scenes.

Honestly, the fandom has started making me hate most versions of Mikey on principle because they constantly force incorrect characterisations of him down my throat (he's the strongest/wisest/best at feelings, but he's also a sweet abuse little uwu bean that can do no wrong. He's incredibly smart but also mega innocent. He's amazing at reading people, but he also.just wants to believe the best of everyone. It's all so contradictory, and pretty much none of it ever actually fits Mikey).

It's the same with Rise Leo. Most of the fandom seems to make him into someone he's not, siphoning personality traits from other characters and iterations (like making him team medic, making him the one that likes to dance and sing, or the one that gets on my nerves the most, making him as smart as Donnie. That isn't his role, and none of the turtles are ever as smart as Donnie. Don't even try and fight me on that. Leos may be more strategic, but in outright booksmart intelligence, every Donnie takes the cake).

I feel like I'm probably going to get a lot of complaints about this seeing how popular Mikey and Rise!Leo are, but I am just so sick of trying to enjoy content for Donnie when every other comment section is being flooded by people dragging him to try and make their fave appear superior. If you want to gush about Mikey or Leo, go to content made about them where your input will be appreciated, rather than deliberately pissing other people off.

This may possible be my longest rant yet 😅 Congratulations to anyone who made it this far down!!

#tmnt donatello #tmnt donnie #tmnt raph #tmnt raphael #tmnt leonardo #tmnt leo #tmnt mikey #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt 2003 #rottmnt #tmnt 2k18 #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #tmnt 2018 #tmnt 1987 #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt 2k7

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thefluxqueen · 1 year

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HIIII :) here to ask about the abyss tell me about it please please please love this sort of thing :3

HAIIII welcome :) to preface this im normal i swear. anyway The Abyss is what i like ta call my Horrible Horrible Maze, i made it w/ the goal of making the worst possible experience in minecraft to torment my friends ^_^

I enjoy putting people in situations and studying them :D

On that note! everyone who runs the abyss (24 people at current count) I time and write a couple notes on them! the abyss is honestly half maze half personality test LMAO. at current moment the quickest time goes to @ghostpajamas with a baffling 03:24 (wild that he got out so quick, i win tho cause i haunt his dreams), and longest goes to the beloved @rendogdomesticated with 1:35:54 <3 special shout out ta my dearest @theoctagon tho wolff ur insane i love u. guy goes inta the abyss for fun and has like 10 pages and counting of insane person phsyical notes tryna map it out (hes reported that hes gone through the first one 60 times and the 2nd one 5 jesus chriiiistttt). the abyss is fond of Pilot :) also if wolff is the favourite than @potionofinstantdamage is the Least favourite, rude ass set the place on fire when he got stuck in there :( oof ouchie

Highlights from my notes include @quack-city running backwards and upon me asking Why, simply replied “what if there’s slenderman :(‘ ... cant argue w/ that! he also hadda stop mid run so we decided its funnier if he’s just stuck in there forever. @newtbeetle was in there for like an hour and would NOT shut up about Paul Dano the whole time which was a time (love u beebs. ur isnane). my two test runners are @kishdoodles and @officialgleamstar and they had about the same time but like Opposite reactions it was very funny, kish treated it like they were a streamer n kept a like constant chatter, and travvy was like DEAD silent the whole time n Intensely focused akjewkjr tbh outta all 24 runners trav’s been prob the most like, methotical bout it? LIKE I SAID personality test. i Love studying people.

In regards to its origins I came up w/ the idea back in like feb/march ish of this year and from start to finish it took me like 2 weeks ish i was on the Grind. u dont understnad how much black concrete this thing took. hell on earth,,, darkwoods has an economy/shopping district and i bought out like All the sand/gravel available akjwekjr the rest i hadda gather myself n God gravel sucks. also ive killed So Many Squids. the 2nd abyss was much easier ta gather supplies for cause i could ask for help w/ supplies n i kept the first one a Complete secret minus my test runners (i hadda bitch at SOMEONE while makin it or i wouldve died i think. speakin of the first abyss has a death count of 13 and the 2nd one has like, 5 or somefin? rlly shouldve writen that down akjwerjk those are Entirely me dying in the process of buildin them btw. its not a true Spain Build unless its mildly dangerous <3) The 2nd one also made me learn redstone, notably i specifically studied Tango’s decked out process vids from s7, tho i really only stole like two aspects of it n i couldnt even get one ta work properly LMAO

The second abyss took me like, wayy longer ta make, bout two months ish (i finished it like mid july). not necessarily in actual like, time spent building but cause in the process of makin it i had Two month long events i was in (Voiceteam in may and Art fight in july) so that distracted me a bit wkwnekeneie Im a bit more secretive bout the second abyss in general since not That many people have actually ran it compared ta the first n theres actually like, Things that can be spoiled in there <3 i like seein peep’s initial reactions its much more satisfying.

This didnt happen w/ everyone but i think a like, Core part of running the abyss is getting emotionally attached ta weird things. i wouldve said just torches until a few days ago when Tac (onea the rat server mods) ran it and claimed the stack of pumpkin pies i gave her as family. But Prior Ta That several people have had very intense emotions bout the redstone torches, whether love or hate or both, key example ft dog:

Also not everyone ive mentioned on this post is in darkwoods! ive got a server i world editted the abyss inta so non-server members can run it for fun and profit (more data for me) :) on that note ive been slowly infecting the rat gang server cause my friend’s in there alot n another friend of mine’s a mod so peeps in there’ve been runnin it lately :) shout out ta TalonMC for lettin me subject him ta the Horrors literally our first conversation, onea my more fun first impressions i’d say

In regards to lore the abyss is a parasitic entity that infects anyone who gets stuck in there n slowly compells them ta go build their own lmao. note that ive only called the second abyss the Second one and not Abyss 2, because its technically just The Abyss as well cause theres many of them i just made it second wowjdkenejd (a real example of this is Wolff gettin obsessed w/ the abyss n then goin n buildin his own build called the Tower :) very excited bout that) The Abyss has a weird like fucked up warlock bond w/ my goddess oc The Overseer :D Her design’s vaugely based off my irl friend @hotcollectionoftubs cause her creation The Hole on a creative world her n some other friends of mine are on was onea the main insperations for certain aspects of the abyss’ lore :D mainly the teal in the colour palette and the whole ‘the [hole/abyss] provides’ thing.

(my reference images for her and 3rd pic's art i commissioned from the Lovely @opuntie):

my darkwoods chara, Snake, is a whole nother bag entirely (basic gist is they’re a dimension traveler not by choice and darkwoods is the 3rd world theyve been in, their deal’s worth a whole post of its own lmao) i built the first abyss entirely unrelated ta my chara just as like, fun weird build ta torment my friends w/o yaknow? but then as i was buildin the 2nd one i was like hmmmmmm. alotta things could make sense if i made this one built by Snake. so their retirement arc on darkwoods turned inta even MORE trauma! wahoo! poor guy deserves a break,,, (he will not be getting one).

(pre abyss + post abyss. i gotta properly draw pre-darkwoods Snake at some point but this dudes changed Alot ill say that lmao. both crops from bigger pieces on my art blog @fluxydrawings)

Anyway thats basically it! ive got more details and things locked in my brain ill probably remember in like 2 days after postin this so theres a chance ill reblog this w/ extra shit later lmao, sides that tho the abyss is my babygirl n thank yall for showin interest ^_^

Memes n shit to end us off:

#Inbox #darkwoods smp #the abyss #t3rm1nus #anonymous #not puttin this under a read more. look upon my creation boy.#ive been writing this post for like. 2 days kjawekjrkwekj its like 1.1k words or some shit #i have So many thoughts bout the abyss at all times #also too lazy ta add ta the post more but im workin on a Secret Third Thing called The Coil that isnt an abyss but it IS the like. spiritua #l successor #the goddess of the coil is the Overseer's ex wife <3 for fun <3 #i should rlly like. add up the average time for the abyss cause theres a Lotta variety #shout outs ta my bestie Kelly for gettin the 2nd quickest time and fellow darkwoods member Fuzzy for gettin the 2nd longest time akjwekjrkj #spain speaks

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tired-biscuit · 4 months

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Didn't think i need to clarify that i'm talking about the ⬛️🟧 (which links you shared) so i apologize for that. But ppl should avoid it. No idea what i am allowed to say on tumblr, i suggest looking up vids about it whenever you (and everyone else for that matter) have time for it. It's a dark topic, really.

Doesn't matter if one "just" watches without interacting, visting the site and handing out views makes it work and makes an easy plattform for the most sick mfs. :/

i mean this in the nicest way possible, but you should have worded that better instead of coming into my askbox, trying to make me feel bad for watching porn on a site i didn’t even know was bad by saying “you as a grown woman” and whatnot.

you can’t just decide what i know and what i don’t know. not that i owe you any explanation whatsoever, but even though i write a lot of porn, i never really search for it when i wanna stroke one out. i don’t go on twitter all that much or reddit or other sites and search for “source material”. ever since i’ve started masturbating, ‘the hub’ or whatever you wanna call it, was my go to because it’s the most basic one, i guess? it’s what most people put as their go to website for that kind of stuff and guess what, i was one of them. it fulfilled my needs and that was enough.

but that is because i had no clue about the whole dark side of it; and tbh how could i? i open it every so often, look up the category i want, rub one out and close it — that’s it. meanwhile, you just painted me as the villain and assumed that i know how they’re treating women and people in general behind the scenes just because i jacked off to a vid that was on that site and shared a link to it when asked. what’s even worse; you then jumped in my askbox, basically telling me how disappointed you are in me between the lines, and tried to make me feel stupid and guilty about it.

i will be looking into this entire thing and will definitely find alternatives if all of this is true, but next time (if there is a next time) pick a more polite tone to speak with me because you just come across as incredibly rude otherwise.

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smolwritingchick · 17 days

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It was a video I saw a while ago, but I think it was Hollywood fix (could be wrong) but the man was being rude towards BTS. Like talking about collars with Ricegum, and in the vid you can see Namjoon taken aback and the others confused (Jhope was smiling and it was disappointing to see). (I think security or the staff was trying to keep the man away). So how would Jennie react in that moment because I know she give them the scariest glare ever.

I remember this!!! Talking about collabing with Ricegum and ect. And I even remember Ricegum’s video about BTS. That whole thing was ridiculous. I believe Bangtan was doing a private photoshoot during that time.

This kind of situation is one of the scenarios Jen warns the boys about and tries her best to prepare them for. Especially when she does media preparation with Namjoon as they practice interviewing for American Media and ect. The American paparazzi is aggressive as hell and she’d be dreading this stuff happening. The last thing she wants to see is these reporters being rude af to her boys but sadly it’s inevitable. The entitlement of these reporters is something else. Smfh.

I’ve been thinking of Namjoon and Jennie having a signal for whenever he needs assistance during interviews and ect. And in this case for out of nowhere situations such as this. Maybe a random word or something. I’m still brainstorming. Like maybe he’d say “Candy,” because of her love for Smarties and she’d step in immediately to assist. So when the media ends up swarming them while they’re taking photos, I see Namjoon turning to her immediately and saying the signal word while Jen would immediately understand what was going on and informs them. These reporters be like the FBI, trying to dig up private schedules and so on to get a glimpse of celebs. This would probably be the case here too.

Best believe she will be giving them the scariest glare. No doubt about that. The constant shouting and disruption of their private schedule is going to irk her soul and she’d turn to the guys to inform them of what’s happening in Korean, to breathe, that everything will be OK and to remain quiet. Who knows if the media may twist their words if they end up saying something or take things out of context. And she’d avoid speaking up herself and cussing out the reporters as much as she really wanted to. That’ll be a terrible scenario. She’d be on her good behavior and keep her frustrations to herself. But the annoyed look on her face will speak volumes.

I even see one of the reporters telling Jennie she should “smile more” when they see her frowning at them. But once she gives him that glare, I see them getting a little nervous. When Bangtan gets back in the van, she’d chat with them about it and ask if they were all right. I see her also apologizing for USA’s aggressive behaviors for celebrities.

“Welcome to the aggressive side of American media. Annoying as hell,” she’d say.

#answered

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terraliensvent · 1 month

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Fuckin’ womp womp mod tbh “I’m getting stwessed out uwu” you willingly opened this can of worms filled with baseless accusations on both ends and pointless drama to stain someone’s reputation who ain’t even in the community anymore, I don’t think you get to complain.

post related

hey fuck you

sorry i decided to talk about a situation that seemed pretty cut and dry and was the result of someone being petty, didnt realize it would invite people like you to make this whole monumental shit storm because someone cant just say “yk what i could have just gone to another chat, but instead i wanted to be rude to someone in a convo that didnt involve me at all because we have this continued beef between us”

i dont know shit about vinn as a person and i dont know their “reputation” or whatever, yall were the ones who came in here with the “ERM ACTUALLY VINN IS ACTUALLY SATAN ON EARTH AND I HAVE NO PROOF OF IT BUT THEY ARE JUST TRUST ME” and the “UHMMMM WELL ACTUALLY VINN HAS EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE SERVER BLOCKED SO THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ANYONE IS TALKING ABOUT EVER AND THEY JUST LIKED THIS SILLY VID OF THEIR CAT SO YOU DONT GET TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THEM ALSO THEY HAVE A PAST THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT!!”

the part thats stressing me out is theres so much violently different information coming from you all and im getting nitpicked for not including info i literally never had any clue about while also trying to be delicate in saying “hey man you gave me no evidence of people showing up to your house so i dont really believe that” as well as nobody giving me screenshots or proof or evidence of any of the shit you guys have been saying on either side

so if you guys are gonna keep leaving shit like this in my inbox and being condescending toward me then ill start deleting asks on this topic too

both sides need to calm the fuck down

#closed species vent #terralien #closed species #terraliens #mod post

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emeraldspiral · 4 months

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Are Invader Zim characters "likable"? According to this vid a character must have 5 of these 9 traits to be "likable".

Courage

Unfair injury

Skill

Funny

Nice

In danger

Loved/loves others

Hard working

Obsessed

I'd say Zim isn't really courageous because when he's not overcome with anxiety it seems like he just doesn't realize he's in danger, rather than that he's overcoming his fears. He brings most of his injuries on himself. Although generally incompetent, he does have some genuine skill that makes you root for him in episodes like Planet Jackers and Plague of Babies. He's funny, but definitely not nice. He is in danger a lot. He loves no one and is hated by all. Part of what makes him so incompetent is that he half-asses his actual mission despite his obsession and only puts his whole pussy into inconsequential dick-measuring contests with Dib.

GIR isn't notably courageous, doesn't really suffer injuries, and has no skill. He is the king of LOL RANDOM humor though. He's not really nice as much as not actively malicious. If he's in danger, he doesn't really acknowledge it much. He's passionate about food, toys, and random animals he picks up, but IDK if you'd call that "love" and Zim never hesitates to tell him how much he sucks and prefers Minimoose. He's certainly not hard working and too flighty to really be obsessed.

Dib is certainly courageous and does suffer a lot of unfair injuries, is skilled and funny, but not really nice, is in danger a lot, loves and is loved by his family, works hard, and is most definitely obsessed.

Gaz has courage but is rarely harmed in any sort of way. She is possibly the most skilled character on the show. I don't know if I'd call Gaz funny, per say. Her deadpan jokes and over-the-top horror-movie slasher reactions to minor slights can be pretty funny, but she's generally more of a straight-man character. She's not the one suffering comic injuries or embarrassment or doing wacky goofy things most of the time. She is most certainly not nice and pretty much never in danger. She does love her dad and Dib and Membrane do love her. She doesn't seem to expend much effort when she goes after people like Dib or Iggins for revenge, most of the time it just seems like everything comes easy to her, but I think it does come across that she does actually work hard to be good at the games she's so obsessed with.

Membrane isn't afraid of facing down a robot army because he's OP and he knows it, but when something actually terrifies him he'd rather go into hard-core denial than accept it, so I would say he's not courageous. He never really gets injured but he is skilled and funny. He may be the world's greatest humanitarian, but he's quite rude and condescending to people, especially his own son, whenever he thinks they're wrong about something, so not nice. He's only been in danger one time. His kids love him, even if he doesn't deserve it, and he does love them, even if he's bad at showing it. He does work hard and is obsessed with his work.

Almighty Tallest: They're not brave, no injury they suffer isn't deserved, their only qualifications for leadership are being tall. They are funny though. They are not nice, were only ever in danger twice and the second time only because of their own stupidity. They love no one and the love they received from their subjects is compulsory with no genuine loyalty. They're lazy SOBs and they lack the ambition or passion to form any obsessions.

So to Recap:

Zim is skilled, funny, in danger, and obsessed. 4/9

GIR is only funny. 1/9

Dib is courageous, unfairly injured, skilled, funny, in danger, loved/loves others, hard working, and obsessed. 8/9

Gaz is courageous, skilled, loved/loves others, hard working, and obsessed. 5/9

Membrane is skilled, funny, loved/loves others, hard working, and obsessed. 5/9

The Tallest are just funny. 1/9

So by this logic Dib should be the most likeable by a long shot, Gaz and Membrane only barely pass, Zim fails to clear the bar, and GIR and the Tallest should be absolutely detested.

So yeah, I'm thinking whoever came up with this is full of shit. GIR is living proof that funny is all you really need.

#invader zim #not a single character qualifies as “nice”#and almost everyone is obsessed

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pikapeppa · 1 year

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Kotaloy Celebration Week, Day #4: Rude

Day 4 prompts: wild/dangerous/feral, or ravenous/desperate/“I can’t get enough of you”. I'm a smut goblin so I used them all. 😂👹

The whole piece is ~12k words; only an excerpt is here. Read the rest on AO3.

**************

Kotallo landed his Sunwing on the tower of the tallest ruin north of Hidden Ember, then dismounted and stretched as he surveyed the landscape.

It was early afternoon: a blazingly sunny day, as usual. From this height, he could see straight across the ruins of old Las Vegas to Hidden Ember itself. The settlement’s immense holograms weren’t visible yet because of the height of the sun, but Kotallo didn’t mind; he wasn’t here to admire the Visions of the Desert today.

He was here for her. He was here to enjoy a few stolen hours of Aloy’s time between his duties and her own, and he couldn’t wait for her to arrive.

He unhitched his bedroll and a saddlebag from his Sunwing, then fondly patted its neck before making his way down the stairs that led from the tower’s roof to the inside of the tower itself. This ruin was shaped almost like a Tenakth guardtower: its tall slender base was topped with a large shelter that was open on all sides and topped with the roof where his Sunwing was roosting now. Aloy had told him that this shelter used to have floor-to-ceiling windows to protect the Old Ones from the elements, which Kotallo thought was strange; it was common knowledge that fresh air was essential for keeping the lungs healthy and strong, so he wasn’t sure why the Old Ones would have wanted to seal themselves into a shelter with no way to access the open air.

In any case, there were no windows now, and a welcome breeze was blowing through the shelter and wicking some of the sweat from his skin. The roof overhead provided a blessed reprieve from the sun, and the interior of this shelter was dotted with tables and chairs, as well as an empty space on the floor that was wide enough for Kotallo’s spread-out bedroll.

He surveyed the inside of the shelter with satisfaction. Aloy’s suggestion had been a good one; this was an excellent place for a long-awaited afternoon tryst.

At the mere thought of a tryst with Aloy, his cock began to stiffen. He tsked quietly at himself. “Have some restraint,” he muttered, and he started rolling out the bedroll.

In truth, he was quite close to the end of his restraint. He hadn’t masturbated for almost a week now, all because he’d foolishly agreed to a cheeky challenge from Aloy.

It had all started with an innocuous comment on her part while they’d been chatting via the Focus a week ago; Aloy had remarked that she was going to wear her Lowland armour when she went to help Alva with something out at Legacy’s Landfall.

“Hm,” Kotallo said.

“What?” she said. “You don’t think it’s a good idea?”

“I have… concerns about the idea.”

“Oh? What are your concerns?”

“That the Quen may break their necks upon your arrival at Landfall’s Legacy.”

“Break their necks? Why would they break their necks?”

“From whipping around too quickly to stare at you as you pass them by.”

For a moment, she was silent. Then she scoffed. “You are not serious.”

He huffed in amusement, and she let out an incredulous laugh. “Okay. Who are you, and what have you done with Kotallo? Did Drakka body-swap with you or something?”

“Body-swap?” he said. “What does that mean?”

“It’s a thing that happened in some ancient vids,” Aloy said. “Beta and Alva told me about it. Two characters would switch bodies so they had to learn what it was like to live each other’s lives.”

He was confused. “They did this on purpose?”

“No. I don’t think so, at least. From what I understand, it was usually because of some strange magical reason. Alva said it was a… ‘trope’? Anyway, we’re going off-topic.”

He smirked. “The topic being what, exactly?”

“The fact that you just used the lamest pick-up line on me,” she said. “Tell me the truth, did Drakka put you up to that? Have you been spending too much time at Scalding Spear recently?”

He grunted. “I’m offended that you think I couldn’t come up with such a remark on my own.”

“I don’t think it’s something you should be offended about,” she said dryly.

“Hm,” he said, amused. “In any case, my point was this: that backless Lowland armour makes you look even more attractive than you already are. You may find your mission with Alva interrupted by endless Quen propositions if you wear that armour among them.”

She clicked her tongue. “You make it sound like it’s unusual for me to be propositioned by random strangers while I’m just trying to get things done.”

“Fair enough,” he conceded. “Then I rescind my concerns. Wear your Lowland armour with my blessings.”

“Thanks,” she said, in a tone that reminded him fondly of her sweetest and most acidic smile.

He smiled faintly as he settled back on his bedroll and folded his arm behind his head. “I will imagine you fondly in that armour when you set out for Landfall’s Legacy.”

“You will, huh?”

“Yes. I miss that armour.”

“You miss it?”

“I do. I only had the privilege of stripping it off of you twice before.”

She let out another little laugh. “Fire and spit.”

“What?”

“You’re really, um…” She lowered her voice. “You’re really horny tonight, huh?”

She wasn’t wrong; his cock was hard from the memory of Aloy wearing that backless Lowland top of hers. But he was in the mood to taunt her tonight. “What makes you think that?”

“You’re being really, um, forward,” she said.

“I am always forward with you,” he pointed out.

“I know,” she said. “But you’re more… I don’t know.”

She sounded a little shy now, a little coy, and it softened his mood just slightly. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“No, it’s not that,” she said quickly. “It’s just, um…” She trailed off.

“What’s the matter?” he said gently.

She was silent for a long second. Then she let her breath out in a sigh. “It’s hard to take when I don’t know when I’ll see you next.”

His heart squeezed with fondness. “We have done this before, Aloy. We will be together soon enough.”

“It might be more than a week, based on what Alva’s telling me about this data she wants to find,” she warned.

“Then I will wait more than a week,” he said simply. “This waiting is worth it when you are the reward.”

She let out another soft exhale: a slightly-shaky one that sent another swell of heat to his cock. “Okay. You’re right. Okay. Wait, when you say you’ll wait… what do you mean, you’ll wait?”

He was a little confused. “I mean just that. I’ll wait for you for as long as it takes for you to return.”

“Oh,” she said. “Yeah, okay. I thought you meant… something else. Never mind.”

“What did you think I meant?”

“I thought you meant you weren’t going to…” She lowered her voice again. “That you weren’t going to masturbate until we saw each other again.”

He huffed in amusement. “That is not what I meant, no.”

“No, of course. Right.”

Her tone was curled with humour now, which piqued his curiosity. “What are you thinking now?”

“You won’t like it,” she said.

He quirked a brow. “Tell me what you were thinking, Aloy.”

He heard a soft huff of laughter. “I was thinking of a challenge, but… no, you won’t like it.”

A challenge? he thought with interest. “Tell me the challenge.”

“Okay, fine, but just remember that you asked for it,” she said. “I challenge you not to masturbate until we see each other again.”

He blinked. “Until—? But we don’t know how long that will be.”

“I know,” she said. “I told you you wouldn’t like it.”

He glanced down at his hard cock with some dismay. He’d been planning to masturbate as soon as they finished their Focus call. Then Aloy spoke again. “It’s okay. It’s a difficult challenge, so you don’t have to accept it.”

He frowned. “Are you calling my warrior’s honour into question?”

“No, of course not.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Your tone would say otherwise.”

She laughed again: a soft, husky laugh that sent a fresh wave of heat through his blood. “Uh-huh. Well, I can’t force you to accept a challenge, so—”

“I accept your challenge,” he interrupted.

“Wait, really?” she exclaimed.

“Yes,” he said firmly. “Which means that you are now bound to the same challenge. Do you accept?”

“Do I—? I mean, yeah, sure. I don’t think it’ll be difficult for me.”

He grunted. She really was trying to goad him. “Not difficult? You think this will be easy?”

“I kind of do, yeah. I already haven’t — I mean, it’s already been a few days for me. I don’t think it’ll be hard for me to hold off for another week or more.”

“Good for you,” he retorted. “Then be certain that you do not imagine how hard I am right now as I imagine you in that Lowland armour of yours.”

She laughed again: a distinctly breathless laugh. “You and the Lowland armour.”

“No, you” he said. “You in that Lowland armour while I slowly strip you out of it. While I slowly push your legs apart so I can see exactly what I will be rewarding myself with when this challenge is through.”

She huffed. “You’re… such a piece of work.”

“I could say the same for you.”

She tsked. “I’m going to sleep now.”

“As will I,” he said. Then he purposely lowered his voice to a growly register that he knew she liked. “Be careful not to dream of my tongue between your legs, licking up all of those sweet juices until you’re begging me to mark you as mine.”

She exhaled again — that sweet exhale of desire. “Bye, Kotallo,” she said roughly, and she was gone.

And so began a week during which he and Aloy mutually tortured each other via their Focuses every night. Their nightly calls started off innocently enough, but their conversations were so thick and taut with the knowledge of Aloy’s carnal challenge that they inevitably segued into what he and Aloy dubbed ‘suggestive talk’: taunting suggestions of what they would do with each other when they were finally together again. There was one night when he could have sworn that she was touching herself while he described how deeply he was going to sink his fingers inside of her when they were reunited, but she’d sworn that she wasn’t, and he had no choice but to believe her.

In retrospect, this was a foolish challenge: one where neither of them had any way of proving that they’d stuck to the terms. They could only take each other at their word that they’d adhered to the rules of the challenge. But a challenge was worth nothing if a soldier’s code of honour couldn’t be assumed, and Kotallo stubbornly adhered to that honour, even as his appetite for Aloy grew hotter and greedier with every passing day.

And now, here they were: on the cusp of finally being reunited, and on breaking the dam of stubbornness and soldiers’ honour that had stopped each of them from finding their pleasure despite the exquisite torture they’d inflicted on each other via their Focuses this week. Kotallo was ready, his cock rock-hard with a lust that had been denied for far too long as he awaited a call from Aloy telling him that she was on her way.

He tried to distract himself as he waited. He smoothed out his bedroll, and he used a length of bandage-cloth and some water to wipe some of the desks and chairs clean. But he couldn’t deny the fact that he was cleaning the furniture in case Aloy wanted to be fucked on it. By the time the shelter was sufficiently tidy and readied for a tryst, Aloy still hadn’t called, and Kotallo was getting impatient.

Keep your restraint, he told himself harshly. He pulled off his chestplate so the desert breeze could cool his sweat, then smoothed his palm over his hair. He needed to be patient and disciplined for just a little while longer. When Aloy arrived, he could finally unleash all of his pent-up frustration and desire, but until then, he needed to keep his Ten-forsaken restraint.

He sat on his bedroll and opened his holo display to search for something to look at. He opened all sorts of files: holos of Metal versus Meat, Quen recipes that Alva had transcribed, data about HEPHAESTUS that Beta and Sylens had uploaded over the past couple of weeks. He even tried listening to Concrete Beach Party at a loud volume, since it was effective at pulling his attention away from his burning muscles when he was working out. But nothing he found was able to keep his attention. His mind kept returning to Aloy, to his memories of her voice, her teasing words as she taunted him through the Focus by forcing him to imagine the things she would do to him if they were together—

He stood up from the bedroll and began to pace. Be patient and calm, he scolded himself. Hold on to your discipline for just a little while longer. He just hoped she would call him soon to say she was on her way, or he was going to snap when she arrived. Oh, was he ever going to snap: he was going to sink his fingers into her hair and pull her head back and bite her throat, or he was going to push her down on the bedroll and bury his face between her legs, or… by the Ten, if she didn’t call him soon, he was going to meet her on the roof when she arrived and start stripping her before she could even get inside of this shelter. He would stand up there on the roof under the brilliant sun, baring her cream-and-golden skin so he could stare at her and touch her and lick her until she was sobbing his name…

The Ten fucking save him from himself, his cock was throbbing. He exhaled hard and punched his metal fist into his palm to distract himself as he paced around. Be patient, Kotallo, he thought. You need to keep this hunger in check.

For just a little while longer, he needed to be fucking patient.

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#kotaloy celebration week #kotaloy #aloy/kotallo #aloy x kotallo #kotallo #kotallo/aloy #kotallo x aloy #pikapeppa writes

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