In honor of the year of the dog please talk my ear off about Shigure and his character and development (or lack thereof) and all the ways he's horrible but you love him? :3

It’s finally done!! Thanks for the patience, Nonny, and I hope you enjoy! (Okie dokie not only is this super long, but it kinda has general spoilers about the ending of the series, so read at your own discretion lol)

Ooooh my gosh, where do I even start with him…? Alrighty, so in the beginning of the series, Shigure is painted as a very 1-dimensional character, which I believe is done intentionally. He’s supposed to come off as a goofy person who doesn’t really take things seriously because that is how he likes to be seen. From the beginning, Shigure laughs openly at just about anything and anyone, like when it was discovered that Tohru had been living in a tent because she didn’t want to inconvenience her friends or family (which any sane person would know is not actually funny, Shi-gu-re). Right off the bat, there, we notice something just a bit off with his character. Laughing at someone who’s living in a tent to their face, even is not only rude, it’s cold. He disregards this as being important because the fact that some girl is living in a tent aaaall alone has nothing to do with him. That is, until he decides to let Tohru stay in his home—and why does he do this? Because she was willing to be his housekeeper; to do the dirty work that he didn’t want to do (this also applies to the fact that he’s trying to break the curse, but more on that later). 

In contrast to his goofy, “only in it for the laughs” persona he keeps going, we also know he is incredibly wise. He gives some top-notch advice to Kyo when he’s struggling with the idea of someone accepting him. Okay, no, scratch that. It’s not top-notch advice. It is ingenious, perfectly-tailored advice. Now, I hear you. “Alright, Holly, and why is that?” Why? Why??? Because this man knows his audience. He takes this problem Kyo is facing regarding being social and awkward, and draws a connection between it and martial arts—the one thing that holds Kyo’s attention better than anything. Instead of saying, “Yeah, practice talking to people and you’ll get better” he tells him, “…as a martial artist, you have the strength to break the table with your fist. But you also have the self-control to stop your fist right before it hits the table. You weren’t born with that control, were you? You had to refine it. It’s the same as interacting with people.” Like…bravo, man. His point gets across perfectly and the impatient, hotheaded Kyo sits and listens. Time and time again, he does this exact thing with so many characters I actually have lost track. My point being, not only is he extremely wise, he’s able to choose his words carefully so that they have just the right effect on the other party. He is able to quickly and accurately ascertain what it is that other characters need to hear and what they respond best to, and he goes straight on with that.

Aight, now let’s rehash what I’ve said thus far. Shigure has a flippant attitude regarding the well-being of others, will do what benefits himself, and has carefully crafted his wordsmithing to get others to do something. Ergo, this man is a freaking skillful and competent master manipulator. Now, I know “manipulator” sounds a bit harsh, however if you look up the actual definition of the word (“a person who controls or influences others in a clever or unscrupulous way”) you find that the word is a freaking p e r f e c t description of what he does. 

In some instances throughout the series, we find that Shigure can, and does, actually use his excellent powers of manipulation for good. He gets Kyo to stop being a butt multiple times, Yuki to actually open up to others, Tohru to kinda just chill about life in general, and so, so many others to let go of what’s bothering them and move on. He changes their focus on the overwhelming to something smaller and more manageable. As much good as he does for others, however, I think there has always been some sort of silver-lining in his actions. All those that he helps to move past their troubles have helped him move closer to his own goal of separating everyone else from Akito and, eventually, breaking the curse. Without the curse, Akito has no one else to depend on and he can finally show this warped individual that he is always going to be there through thick and thin. Twisted, yes, but so is Akito so I guess they kinda work(?) Anywho, these twisted, complex emotions and behaviors become far more apparent as the series progresses and are glaringly obvious in the end. When I read the series all the way through the first time, I felt betrayed by his character. How could he be so awful??? It felt so sudden and completely out-of-character.

But, you see, I don’t think it’s really a matter of character development or otherwise. The traits were all there in the beginning—he was just better at masking it then. As we learned more in the story, we saw more of the dark side of those traits and perhaps that made it feel as though his character devolved in some way, but that is not the case at all. He’s always been like this and I find that absolutely fascinating. He’s such a complex and well-written character. This is why, no matter how mad he makes me in the end, I can’t hate his character. He is so indelibly human that I can’t, no matter what, hate his character—and I think that that is beautiful.

When Good Fathers Take BAD Roads

When Good Fathers Take BAD Roads A NOS4A2 Review By: Allyssa J. Watkins

The Wraith screams, racing breakneck with demon speed A wicked black flash, gone and there like smoke Ferrying passengers three, wearing the faces of ghosts What shadows chase you, Charlie, accompanied by those you love the most? Are you going to kill your darlings On this, the Road of No Return? Tires squeal and rubber burns A pathway forms more nightmare than real A knife ripping through reality, tearing at the tragic seam The road to Christmasland is paved in screams Your daughter transformed, while you ignore your wife's haunting cry Hold on, Good Father, for the ride of your life.

HOLY SMASH, and MERRY FREAKING CHRISTMAS!!!!! "Good Father," was the ride, the MIND TRIP of my LIFE, as chilling, as it was thrilling, screaming unyielding into the drastic extreme, blinding light, and drowning darkness, happy and horrible, beautiful, and brutal, and it was a ride I only just barely survived. This is me, breathing heavy, adrenaline pumping, my legs giving out, kissing the ground, and yet, I have never felt this conflicted, torn up inside, about anything I've ever seen, drawn transfixed to the effervescence, the beckoning dream, and yet eviscerated by the looming, blood-dripping grin of the abject HORROR. What the HELL just happened!?

Okay, breathe, Ally...... So much to say, and yet my mind is a trembling mess of disparity, driven in the Wraith to the edge of madness itself!!! First off, can we just marvel at the enigmatic force, the sheer brilliance, and other worldly acting prowess that is possessed by our Mister Zachary Quinto!?!? I am CONVINCED he is an actual Strong Creative, and has graciously drawn us all in, in order to witness him build his inscape, and speak actual MAGIC!!! Besides being a catastrophic kind of handsome, the dark allure that you long to destroy you, striking your eyes, and stealing your heart, making you his happy, breathless victim, Zachary shifts effortlessly between dream and nightmare, being beautiful and terrifying, waltzing between both, with a passion that will leave you shell-shocked.

This episode is so hard to analyze, because it possesses both the brightest, happiest, most achingly euphoric scenes of the series, while also the creeping, darkest hours I have ever known. It begins like a splashy, champagne, Downton Daydream, Our Beloved Charles, delighting and igniting our passions, with his adorable antics, donning a pair of matchstick fangs, and we all heave a lovesick sigh, longing so to be the girl in his arms, that he's playfully pretending to bite. You will ALWAYS be My Nosferatu....... I whispered it along with her, watching the joy pierce through the calm dark of those perfect eyes, and all I want is to be her, his wife, Mrs. Manx. I was so excited, so impressed by this coy wink to NOS4A2's own parent material, the original 1922 silent film, “Nosferatu,” upon which our mad fever fantasy is based, that I broke into the biggest grin, shaking my head at the pure genius of it. Charles' distaste for the picture, and scoffing opinion, mocking it, calling it ridiculous, was a pure, tongue in cheek, joy, and I'm still trembling from when he said, "Love Bite." Ooooh, and the scene in the bedroom was so intimate and beautiful, as Charlie and Cassie share their dreams for the future, along with a dance and a passionate kiss, as some wonderous news is revealed. The family Manx is to become three, with a little sugar plum named Millie!!!

I wept when Charles held his daughter for the first time, as I realized THIS is where his obsession with Christmas began, as he received the greatest gift of them all. Every time he "saves," a new child, he gets to feel it all over again, in the glow of the coloured lights, and the tinkling bells of the music, what it's like to be a father, and to be loved, unconditionally by a child. He gazes at her with the purest, most profound love, even while his Father in Law, treats him perfectly horrid, openly degrades him, and yes, in one heart-stopping moment calls him a vampire!!! I was SPEECHLESS!!! His bond with his daughter is so powerful, and endearing, I sobbed, the most joyous tears ever I have shed, watching him tuck his beautiful little girl into bed, and soothe her fears in the flash of a lightning strike, both of them carefully constructing Christmasland in their minds, never knowing they would find it beyond the realm of lost dreams. I felt so happy I thought I could die, so moved by this tender scene, so oblivious as to what lay in wait......... as we twisted slowly around the corner.........

It was jarring enough, flashing between these idyllic Currier and Ives scenes, all luminous oil paintings come to life, to Charlie's decaying, autopsied, Frankenstein creature, shuffling, groaning, bleeding, through the living world. And yet, that was rather interesting, the ghastly contrast between Charlie's wonderful life, and the re-animated husk of his gruesome death. I especially loved his joyride in the stolen zebra print car!!! That was hilarious!!! However, the turn that I knew was coming, that I dreaded, was far more stomach-churning, and desperately frustrating than I could have ever prepared myself for.

Again, Zachary's acting was mesmerizing, every expression, every wild look in his eye, was so beautifully, and breathlessly performed, but for me, it was the writing itself, that went screaming off the rails. Charlie goes from the perfect husband, the most charming, and doting father, to difficult, suspicious, and accusing, for seemingly no reason at all. The way he spoke about his first wife in Parnassus, I expected to see her become the begrudging, bitter ball and chain he made her out clearly to be. But Cassie's sins are few and far between, and her punishments, and especially her disturbingly MORBID end, are unjustified. She tries to be practical by asking Charlie very politely if she should get a job, to which Charlie responds with unprovoked venom, with the same malice as if she'd revealed she'd been unfaithful. Thus begins, this odd new trend of Charlie continuously overreacting, entirely out of character, and blaming Cassie for everything going so wrong, actively wanting to hurt her, even selling off her mother's priceless heirlooms. My head hurt, my heart broke, and my GOD something was rotten in Christmasland!!! I realized then, that this whole episode has the faintest cyanide taste of audience manipulation.

"Good Father," seems to serve the single and sole purpose of turning the audience against Charlie Manx, and I could feel the force of the plot, trying to shift my mind in that unnatural direction. I could see the clever scheme at work, the writing on the wall, as they must have thought....... They love him too much........ Let's give Charlie his BITE back. Let's take this beautifully unique, nuanced, wounded, enigmatic, anti-hero, and make them love him even more, show him in all the tenderness, and affection they have so long craved, let them fall in love with him all over again, and then........ let's make them hate him, see that he is beyond saving, the incarnation of the purest evil. Let's ruin him, and that's how we'll ruin them. WHY!? This is the question that has kept me up in relentless frustration all week. WHY spend all this time, crafting this fascinating, deliciously intricate character, learning the pains and joys and hopes of his life, just to laugh it off, and say, oh no, Charlie Manx is a monster, and you're wrong for liking him!? To them I say, "If loving Charlie Manx is wrong....... I don't wanna be right." Because in spite of the blood curdling atrocities, and my tearful horror in the face of such plot, I can't not LOVE Charlie Manx.

What I have always loved about NOS4A2, is the way it flirts with the elements of horror, skirting teasingly around the sharp edge without fully going there. The final scene however screams full speed ahead into that sickening foray, and I was left trembling, terrified, sobbing stricken with just that. HORROR.

"Charlie, STOP, you're going to kill us all!!!"

"On that, My Dear, we are agreed."

While I was confused as to whether it was his intent to kill them all, drunkenly crashing his Wraith, or if he knew what terror would transpire on the way to Christmasland, this was a ride none of them were coming back from. Its gut-wrenching, frightening images, are matched only by its lack of even a semblance of sense. Charlie watches, excitedly, as his darling daughter's teeth fall out in a bloody display, absorbing her youth, her lifeforce, transforming her into a soulless vampire, and he doesn't so much as bat one of his gorgeous eyelashes, as his child kills and feasts on her mother's flesh. Yeah, I know........ MORBID. I was also bewildered as to how the car turned Charlie into a vampire of youth, and Millie into one of blood. Also, call me crazy, but....... Does not one first have to die to become a vampire?

But even more a glaring folly, no way in HELL would Charlie EVER kill his family, his sweet baby, no matter how bad things were with Cassie. Wouldn't it make SO much more sense for him to steal her back, and thus wouldn’t he come to see kidnapping synonymous with “saving,” a child, if Millie was the first one? Instead of having him try to kill them all, if that even was his dark intent, I would have had Cassie and Charlie fighting in the car, and Charlie, distracted by the quarrel, swerve, losing control, accidently crashing the Wraith. Cassie would be too far gone, but through his connection to the car, his Wraith would fight to save him, even if it meant borrowing a little siphon of his own daughter's youth.

Yeah, hey, let's talk for a quick sec about The Wraith. We know Charlie's life is connected to this mysterious car, but what we didn't know was how he acquired it........ until now. I don't know about you guys, but having Charlie simply purchase it, felt cheap to me, like it took away the magic of the fated knife, that he was always supposed to have. Bought. Sold. Done. NO. I didn't like it, and it never proved evident of the bond between Charlie and his Wraith. I would have had him find it, since he couldn't afford a new car on his own, a carcass, old, disused, rusted, and lovingly restore it, nurse it back to health, to life, until it shined. Charlie has a relationship with this car, a supernatural tie, and to me that would have been so much better, so much more meaningful than him pawning his wife's valuables to buy it. Meaning anybody could have done the same. One thing I LOVED about that scene, however, was seeing our dear Charles in his resplendent royal blue and blood red Chauffer's garb for the first time ever!!!! What a sneaking joy!!!

That's the thing about this episode, it's a dangerously mixed cocktail of anti-depressants and alcohol. There's so much to love, so much to hate, and so much to work over and over, trying to figure, until the point of insanity!!! I LOVED everything between our Miniature McQueen and young, hot, plaid clad Charlie, (HELLO SYLAR, am I right!?) and my heart STOPPED when I saw him over Wayne's shoulder, my pulse on pause, as they talked, and Charlie tutted disapproving, at the boy having never had a Christmas, not knowing who he was, who his mother was......... The suspense, the tension, was riveting.

I don't know how I feel about this impressive effort, trying to get me to despise Bing less, by having him say propaganda like, "I thought I was so big, because I had too much sad in me." That broke my heart, and it was infuriating, because I didn't want to feel any sympathy for him. No NOS4A2, you cannot try to turn me against My Magnificent Mister Manx, and in the same space, try to get me to like Bing CREEPER Partridge!!!! The scene in the graveyard was exceptionally well done, and I'm still shivering from the hushed thrill in Charlie's voice as he whispers. "He needs saving, Bing Partridge, don’t you agree?"

"Good Father," was an even more thrilling prospect as a title to me than, "Bad Mother," because I always knew it was true. Although, in retrospect, one is more inspired brilliance than the other. Can you still be a good father, and watch proudly as your young daughter becomes a monster, devouring her mother? Can you still be a good father, and leave your daughter, after she thought you were dead for eight years? Charlie is a good father, that went down a BAD road, and has forgotten the way back, although he still dons every surface appearance, as such. I did like when he made Millie apologize to his new charge, and curtsy with a begrudging welcome, spoken through her gritted teeth. That was adorably paternal, and one hundred percent Charlie!!!! However, as a whole, this episode persists as the mystery I can't solve, making me feel every emotion possible on the human spectrum, drinking in the dream, blissfully intoxicated, and sobbing uncontrollably, terrified out of my mind, the next.

Charlie may not be, "The Good Father," he once was, but a glimmer of it shines like a forgotten ember in his obsidian eyes, and despite the glaring conclusion this episode emphatically urges you to make, I still hold that there is good in Charlie, and that he can be saved. I also think it speaks revelations toward labels. Vic is no more a scarlet letter branded Bad Mother, than Charlie is a Good Father. There is good and bad, hero and villain, in all of us. It just depends what roads we're willing to take.

Binge-Watching: Gintama, Episodes 182-184

In which we get what’s legitimately one of the most inventive, awe-inspiring meta commentaries I’ve ever seen, as the show hashes out an age old fandom dispute using its own characters as the voice of its audience.

Pierce the Heavens With Your Meta!

You know, I give a lot of praise to how Gintama keeps topping its more serious and dramatic arcs. And with good reason; they’re regularly the most impactful, memorable moments, the standard bearers for the heights this show is able to achieve. But every once in a while, it’s worth taking a step back and remembering how well the comedy has developed in tandem. The early episodes were still pretty funny, but now, with the density of characters and in-jokes and lore the show’s established, and its creative wellspring still bursting with life, it’s able to use all that meticulous groundwork as a springboard to soar to new comedic heights. And my god, I think it might have just topped itself again with the Popularity Poll arc. This might be the most insanely creative idea Gintama’s ever had; incorporating the meta perception of a show by its audience into an actual story is the kind of premise that only a show with as cavalier a relationship with the fourth wall as this one could even dream of pulling off. But Gintama doesn’t just pull it off, it sticks the landing so damn hard I think the landing might’ve cracked a bit from the impact.

Seriously, just imagine how this idea would’ve sounded as a pitch for any other show: a story arc where the characters all react to a recent audience popularity poll and start fighting each other to rise in the ranking. It’s utterly batshit in every conceivable fashion. But here’s the thing: fandoms love engaging in arguments about this stuff. Character A is just a cheap rip-off of Character B! Character C is a clone of Character D! Character E has a better design than Character F! These are the kinds of arguments that any fans of a show, movie, or whatever else with an expansive cast will hash out endlessly, fighting over their favorites and analyzing the author’s intentions behind creating them. These are the fights that make fandom so entertaining (and occasionally exhausting when these debates cross over into outright toxicity, but I’m trying to be positive here). And what Gintama does here is absolutely freaking genius: it takes those arguments and debates that every fan is familiar with and puts them in the mouths of the characters themselves. This could only work in this kind of show, where the characters regularly acknowledge their existence as fictional characters in a media property created for mass consumption. It’s a literal meta commentary by the show’s creator, spoken directly through his character’s mouths, on how his audience has received his work. The text and metatext are one and the same, yet the world of the show does not shatter to deliver such a direct message because of its previously established flexibility. It’s not just the most meta Gintama’s ever been, it might be the single most meta story I’ve ever seen.

The end result of this utterly fantastic idea is that suddenly, these characters we’ve come to know and love over the course of almost 200 episodes now are having the same arguments about each other that we’ve been having about them all this time. And with the premise itself necessitating the involvement of so many different characters from so many different chapters in the show’s history, we get to see so many utterly delightful match-ups and pairings we’ve never gotten to seen before. Of course the supporting female cast would all join together to form an epic girl group death squad. Of course Sadaharu and Elizabeth would shed blood in competition to be the king of the giant animal mascots. Of course Katsura and Kyubei would clash over sharing the “absolute dork hiding behind a regal facade” persona; hell, I’m 90% sure I made that comparison myself some time ago! Of course Kondo would use his previously established history with embarrassing nudity and compromising situations to give him a natural leg up in the game of pantsing shame. Of course all the kickass ladies would debate the merits of their distinct character designs (Sachan on Tsukuyo’s scar and pipe: ”This girl’s loaded with hooks!”). Of course the characters who got low scores in the rankings would try to imitate the higher-ups to close the gap. Of course we would get more of the fantastically bratty rivalry between Kagura and Okita, both of them vying to the most snot-nosed sneerer in the house. It’s like watching your wildest fanfiction brought to life, the very characters of the show themselves acting out the images of them you have in your head.

And it’s so. Damn. Funny. It’s constantly one-upping itself, constantly surprising you with another detail that feels like it sprung fully formed from the ashes of your last anime club debate. The familiarity we have with these characters at this point is reflected in the familiarity they have with each other, and the end result feels like a show that is more in on the joke with us than any other show ever. And that’s all before we even get to the more tangible, screw-with-the-medium gags that accent the more abstract, thematic stuff. Everybody’s popularity numbers following them around, floating in the air, could’ve just been a simple sight gag, but instead, they’re actually made part of the freaking world. Characters can share them, break them, drop them, snap them off their heads and leave a trail of blood behind (seriously, how does that even work?). They’re used to mark people without actually showing them, leading to a hilarious scene where Ginoki and Shinpachi are chased behind a row of buildings and we just see a horde of numbers barreling after them. And then there’s Otae literally reaching through the screen and killing the goddamn mangaka. Which leads to the show itself devolving as the creators struggle to fill the void themselves, climaxing in the gob-smackingly inspired gag of the opening being rendered in MS Paint. My god, that had me doubled over like nobody’s business. Just, how fucking brilliant is that? In a world where fan recreations of OPs in Paint are becoming especially popular, this one gag feels like such a perfect encapsulation of how attuned this show is to its own space in popular culture.

Gintama, more than anything, feels like it’s as much a part of its own fandom as we are, constantly debating and critiquing and exalting itself right alongside its audience. It’s the show that laughs along with itself, the storyteller that makes the audience part of the story. It’s such a unique, inspired atmosphere that’s like nothing else I’ve ever watched: it’s practically invented its own damn genre. And it wants its fans to enjoy this wild ride as much as it is itself.

Everybody Matters

Because underneath the sheer hilarity of, well, literally everything I just talked about, there’s a much more meaningful meta point being made about this show’s relationship to its fandom. Yamazaki basically starts the whole bloodbath because he’s pissed at his type of character- the straight man- never being the most popular among the fans. And he’s right; even I will always prefer the wild antics of Kagura and Gintoki over Shinpachi’s aggravated attempts at grounding them. On a broader level, every character in this arc could very well be speaking with the voice of frustration of the fans who don’t feel like their favorites get their due by the rest of the fandom. They all have reasons to believe their favorite character deserves more. It’s a classic fandom struggle that I’m sure everybody has experienced at one point or another. And it’s this debate that Gintama captures so well in this arc; the inflamed passions, the best of everyone on full display, the increasing toxicity of the debate poisoning everyone’s opinions on everyone.

But here’s the thing: Gintama doesn’t need to give into that toxicity. Because it has, no bullshit, one of the best ensemble casts of all time. Every single character from rank 30 up could top the best character list of hundreds of other anime. They’re all so distinct and varied that if the show lost any of them, the impact would be immediate and affecting. Every single goddamn character has a part to play, from the eccentrics to the sadists, from the megalomaniacs to the champions, and yes, to the straight men as well. Shinpachi and Yamazaki are just as essential components of this masterfully crafted mechanism as anyone else, keeping a level of sanity that we can always return to when things get too crazy. As cliche as it might sound, all of them deserve to be number 1. All of them are important enough to be beloved and respected.

In the end, this entire arc is, simply put, an extended defense of Gintama’s entire supporting cast, and the invaluable, utterly unique roles they all play in making this show so special. And it delivers that message as only Gintama can: by going beyond its limits to deliver one of the most inspired meta commentaries I’ve ever seen in a piece of media, speaking with the mouthpiece of its fandom in praise of all it’s been able to accomplish. It’s absurd. It’s grandiose. It would absolutely feel utterly pretentious if the show hadn’t earned every moment of it over the past 180 episodes. It is nothing more or less... than Gintama.

And I can think of no higher praise than that.

Odds and Ends

-”This show’s been nothing but lies...” Ten seconds in and I’m already cackling.

-Takeaways from the popularity poll: shame on you for putting Tama so low, pleased that Tsukuyo’s so high, very surprised Kagura’s monster of a brother placed so high. I mean, he definitely left an impression, but it was more of a “AAAAAAAHHHHHGETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWYAY” sort of deal for me.

-askjdashd they kept the mohawk on Yamazaki

-”It’s not your fault if you lose to a lifeless object.” The fact that the freaking Justaway counts as a character cracks me up.

-”I can’t stand the fact that Otae isn’t first...” Oh my bloodthirsty genderfluid baby I love you

-Sachan’s freakouts in these episodes were star-kissed gold.

-One sour note: we had a Fist of the North Star parody without a single “Omiwa mu shindeao”. You’re slipping in your reference game, GIntama. Shame on you.

-”The nightmare started when I decided I wanted to see those paws close up.” This is your daily reminder that Katsura is an animal whisperer of the highest caliber.

-”You idiots have done nothing but speak in bad English!” You say that like it’s a bad thing, Shinpachi.

-Interesting observation that I think I’ve touched on before: Kyubei, like Tsukuyo, has the “freak out when men touch me” character trait, but unlike when it happens to Tsukuyo, Kyubei’s instances of this never fail to make me laugh because there’s never anything actually sexual or perverse about the ways people touch her. It’s just her lunatic instincts getting the best of her, which is a million times more entertaining than just stupid pervert shit.

-”Stop saying crap that’ll bring down the fourth wall!” Hijikata, do you... remember what show you’re in at all?

-Only in this show would a coordinated dress-up battle be an important life-or-death scenario. Especially a dress-up battle on the same goddamn person.

-”He was on two legs, right?” Shinpachi is as perturbed as I am. What the shit, Sadaharu.

I don’t know how it does it, man. This show’s just really fucking good. See you next time!

A Love Letter to Black Panther

Disclaimer: Y'all gon' get tired of hearing me scream, "WAKANDA FOREVERRRRRRR!"

Because I mean it. Bless this movie, man. This is everything I have ever dreamt of seeing from a black superhero with an all black cast. They couldn't have done a better job. This movie is a vision, fully realized. It's going to leave a very important impact on pop culture at large and I am so here for that. I've been a black nerd since birth, and to be given a big budget film with a 90% black cast that is backed by a studio giant is so gratifying I can see why some people left the theater in tears of joy. It's not that we haven't had black films before that did well. It's not that we're not giving credit to Blade for being a (mostly) successful film franchise with a black hero at the helm. It's all the elements lining up from having Ryan Coogler direct to grabbing actually African cast members to being marketed during the Superbowl--which is the most expensive ad time you can buy on television--to seeing an amazing integration of tradition, science fiction, and modern topics that are relevant to the black community. I sound like I'm overstating things, but I truly am so happy with how this film turned out. It wasn't a cheap cash grab. It was a genuine attempt to weave a story about African and black culture based around a whole lot of ass-whuppin' and I can't wait to dive in. Follow me, Wakandans.

Naturally, spoiler alert.

Let's start with the man himself, the King of Wakanda, T'Challa. First of all, I knew I'd love him since Civil War. Most people went for Tony or Steve and came out of that movie going, "OH MY GOD BLACK PANTHER IS THE FUCKING BADDEST I CANNOT WAIT FOR HIS SOLO MOVIE DUDE." We all knew he was a total badass, but what I left this movie with was a sincere love for the mercy and compassion he showed us in this film. It's very easy in a position with that kind of power to let it corrupt you and become jaded, but the gestures he made in this film were so lovely. I love that he was outraged by his father trying to erase history with what happened to his uncle and cousin. He was genuinely angry and hurt by it all and in the end, he showed so much kindness by letting Kilmonger see the sunrise before he died that it was honestly touching. I love T'Challa because he has such a big heart. It’s an incredibly important perspective to provide, as much of the world still sees black men as angry, dangerous thugs incapable of kindness. He has flaws as well, like his anger issues and naivete, and that's what makes his journey so compelling. It's very easy to write a royalty character as above it all, but that's why Thor: Ragnarok was so well received recently: they knocked Thor off his princely pedestal and brought him down to our level. We understand what T'Challa is going through even though we aren't royalty. He has a homeland to protect and a family to look after in his father's absence, much like we have our own responsibilities trying to tug us in a thousand different ways. I love that he challenged his father and brought about a new era, extending his help to the world. T'Challa is an excellent character and Chadwick Boseman did a hell of a job with him.

As a black woman, you know what's coming next. My girls Nakia, Okoye, and Shuri. Where do I even start? First of all, let me raise my fist for some lovely dark-skinned women getting the spotlight in a major superhero film franchise. Now, don't get me wrong--I absolutely freaking LOVED Tessa Thompson in Thor: Ragnarok. She slayed. But my heart is just bursting with pride at these beautiful badass women who are given weight, agency, and attention in this film. I have absolutely nothing against light-skinned women at all, but I do acknowledge that they tend to get roles easier than dark-skinned women because society still has this idiotic aversion to them because of the establishment's idea of beauty. It was such a rush to see each woman on screen having inner conflict and deciding what side of the line they would stand on. I love Nakia's stubborn nature and her hesitance to join the fray, but the second T'Challa was gone, she switched into spy mode and she did the damn thing. She saved the people who cared about her, she saved Ross, and she stood up for her country as well as the other people out there who needed her help. You are a diamond, Nakia. Okoye is probably going to come out of this film as the runaway favorite, if you ask me. I mean, Danai Gurira is already worshiped for her role as the amazing Michonne on The Walking Dead, but seeing her here, slicing and stabbing and beating the tar out of everyone while struggling with her loyalty to the Wakandan throne just gives me all the feels. I adored her sharp tongue and her grumpy frown and her impossible awesomeness. Then there's Shuri. I can't express my delight with her. She was such an adorable, witty addition to the team. I fully admit that I fell for the low-hanging fruit: the "WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOSE!" joke was hilarious even though I know no one over the age of thirty is going to have a single clue what she was referencing. I loved her calling Ross "colonizer." Shuri was throwing shade left and right and it was glorious. Furthermore, having her be the gadget gal of the film was brilliantly done. I loved her enthusiasm and her amazing tech. I loved that she bravely fought even though she was inexperienced. She was such a great character and I look forward to seeing beautiful little girls idolizing her mind and her strength in the future.

Kilmonger is definitely one of the strongest villains in the MCU so far. Most people ding Marvel for having thin villains, and that's not an unfair assessment. In my opinion, it's Cutting Room Floor issues. When you have to tell a story in two and a half hours, sometimes there's just too much content that you're excited to fit in and you just can't get it in there, so you take out chunks related to the villain to avoid the hero having an unsatisfying character arc. It's not a great idea, because then your villain isn't three dimensional and it can diminish the overall enjoyment of the film. Kilmonger is the answer to that problem. He had a reason for what he did, and while it wasn't an excuse for his cruelty, it definitely made you think about the fact that every good villain is a hero in his own mind. Kilmonger's plan even tempted someone in T'Challa's camp because it had a serious amount of relevance not only to Africans but black people all over the world. Wanting to stomp out oppression, especially in this day and age, is a trap I think a lot of people can fall into. I love the almost Shakespearean tragedy of it all, that maybe this could have been avoided if T'Chaka stayed behind and explained to the boy where he came from and that he had no choice. It probably wouldn't have worked, but just abandoning the kid with his dead father was ice-cold, and it's more tragic that it was done out of good intentions in T'Chaka's mind. I love that T'Challa sympathized with Erik and even offered to save him in the end. That has weight. That's excellent writing. I do admit, though, that Michael B. Jordan is definitely a young actor, because he was hamming it up pretty hard in certain scenes, but overall the kid did well with the role.

The costume design and scenery were just breathtaking. Man, I love the visuals we got to see. African culture is so vibrant and interesting. I'm really delighted knowing millions of people will get some exposure to all the different aspects and traditions it has to offer.

The soundtrack is killer. From the score to the tracks, it was done truly well.

Andy Serkis as Claw (although I don't appreciate the bait and switch, I can live with it; Marvel always kills their villains that are not Loki and even he is probably going to die in Infinity War). I knew he was an oddball in Age of Ultron, but damn, was he a complete nutcase. I appreciate how completely insane he was the whole time with no real explanation as to why. The simple glee on his face when he giggles, "I made it rain!" was just flawless. He might have the market corned for wackiest Marvel villain thus far. I'm sad that we only got to enjoy two performances from Serkis, but they were still entertaining as hell.

The action sequences had me floored. This is one thing I've always adored about Marvel films. The pacing is always excellent and they know how to wow you. If you follow me at all, you'll know one of the numerous reasons I hated the Justice League movie is that there was NO imagination in ANY of the fight scenes. Black Panther offers some of the best and most creative scenes to enjoy, from hand to hand combat to flipping cars with a fucking vibranium spear. I was cringing and twitching in my seat like I was playing a VR of Tekken, for God's sake. These fight scenes were so well done (though I will ding the film for lighting issues; the jungle scene suffered badly from that problem, as did at least one other one to my chagrin) and I loved everyone's various weapons and fighting styles.

MY BOY BUCKY AT THE END CREDITS YOOOOOOOO. I am infatuated with the idea that the Wakandans analyzed him and have been slowly helping him recover from being brainwashed and abused. It made my cold, petrified heart all warm inside when he smiled and looked out over the water. I just want Bucky to be happy, okay?! Leave me alone!

Well, I've gone on long enough, haven't I? I regret nothing, honestly. This is like The Dark Knight all over again: one of those rare instances when the hype for something was so crazy that we were sure it couldn't deliver, but not only did it deliver, it kicked the hell out of all expectations. I can't wait to see where the road will lead from here. My wish and hope is that this movie does so damn well that Hollywood opens its damned eyes and listens to what we have been saying since the beginning: we want diversity and we want it well done and we want it now. Stop relying on the old ideals of a market that we outgrew decades ago. Black people are just as complex and interesting as everyone else on the planet, and it's time you woke up. We've been doing it ourselves with all kinds of various projects from comic books to novels to short films and you can either lead, follow, or get out the way, as Jidenna once said. Your move, Hollywood.

WAKANDA FOREVER.

EIGHTEEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY BEST FRIEND JULIA @my-destiny-awaits

Our history. Julia and I have been friends for as long as I have been fully sentient. I even have some memories of us in Kindergarten at the end of the year party eating cupcakes together. She was the first person I ever had a play date with, and those photos are still one of my prized possessions to this day. Our history is strange int hat we’ve never not been friends. It was sixth grade when we became best friends and since then it’s been a given. I will always treasure what she has given me, both the tangible and unfathomable. In fact as I sit at my desk right now, I am next tot he perfume she gave me for Christmas freshman year, having remembered something I said about how much I like peppermint two years prior. It’s incredible that I’ve had her in my life for so long, without there ever being and conflict or doubt for me, and for someone with the overwhelming paranoia that all my friends secretly hate me, that’s saying a lot. Plus, we ate lunch together five days and week for nearly seven years in a row without driving each other crazy and that’s quite a feat by anyone’s standards. 

Her smile. Julia has one of those smiles which by all of my credentials is absolutely perfect. this makes me a tad jealous since she never had to endure braces and that’s just not fair. Her smile is radiant and comforting. Seeing her smile makes my heart swell, heck, I would put it on my list of’ things to live for’. I don’t know what else to say, it’s a smile, and it’s the best. However, the best part for me personally is, I can tell the difference between her genuine smile and fake smile. When she does really smile it’s completely genuine, and it validates whoever is on the receiving end. But her fake smile, which I almost prefer just because it’s so utterly Julia, is the most bitterly false expression. Maybe it’s just because I’ve spent years working out the how to properly analyze all her facial expressions, and I like to laugh at people who haven’t figured it out yet, but I am delighted in seeing her strained smile at the stupidity of others. That flicker of rage behind her eyes is something I’ll never forget, because even though she’s completely in control, I pity whomever she decides to drop the polite facade with. 

Her laugh. Julia has what I call  a ‘Tinkerbell’ laugh. It’s light and it almost sounds like bells. If you can imagine in your head the exactly laugh of a Disney princess, then that’s pretty damn close.  It’s just so cute and fluttery, but not the obnoxious trying too hard ot be femine kind of laugh. It, like all of Julia, is beautiful without really trying. I miss hearing her laugh in person, because it’s a sound that makes me feel like there could never possibly be anything wrong. When Julia laughs, everything else seems blissfully insignificant. 

Her hair. I know it’s not good to dwell on physical traits, because it’s who the prosper is that matters but if you have ever seen Julia's hair you will know exactly why I’ve brought it up. It’s a signature part of her look, because it’s looks like sunlight itself. It is sleek and shiny, nearly anime looking. I’ve seen her go through all different styles for it, and everything looks good. I also like it because if I ever am talking about her and someone doesn’t’ know who she is by name, I can just say ‘She has long pretty blonde hair’ and they’ll know who I am talking about immediately. 

Her fashion sense. Honestly, seeing Julia in sundresses is a lot like seeing the face of God. I would personally fund a closet for her filled with sundresses reminiscent of Chuck form Pushing Daisies. Julia is just so cute and classy, and when she wear floral print dresses and sandal wedges I die a little. One of my favorite stories to recall is one day, junior years, I think it was, Julia comes to lunch in a pink floral dress and I notice she has bruises on her shoulder. Concerned, I ask what happened, and sh just smiles and shrugs, “The kickback from my gun, I went to the shooting range this weekend.” and I high key fell in love. She has a sharp sense of irony, and the conflicting femininity and lethalness of her is one of the reasons I love how she dresses. 

Her patience. I’ll be the first to admit: being my friend is kind of exhausting. Julia’s been doing it for eight years and if that’s not a testament to true patience I don’t know what is. Julia is kind, through and through, and her kindness often manifests in her ability to keep her head on her shoulders. Her patience is definitely something I admire, because although she can keep her wits about her even when she’s being tested, she also has a line and if it’s crossed, well you know the saying ‘hell hath no fury.’. 

Her dependability. This year has been rough, it’s the first year that we haven’t been able to see each other at least fives times per week. Now it’s like once every two months. But even so  there has never been a moment where I doubt our friendship, she has never been anything less than my best friend and I have no uncertainties that when we see each other again it’ll be just how we left it. This is how it is with all of my friends, because I choose people  who I know will be there for me when it matters, and Julia is the epitome of that sentiment. 

Her Independence. Julia is her own person, and I’ve never once seen her conform to standards just because they seem ‘hip’ or ‘cool’. Even in middle school I have no recollection of her denying her real self just to fit in. She knows who she is at her core: she’s strong and she’s kind. She doesn’t depend on anyone entirely, but she’s not so stubborn that she won’t accepts help when she needs it. 

Her taste in...everything. Julia has impeccable taste in music, TV shows, and movies which as someone who finds common interests essential for conversation, this is really great. With my new friends and my habit of converting them to shows I’ve already watched all the way through, I can’t help but think back to the times where Julia and I experienced Gravity Falls, Pushing Daisies, and Brooklyn Nine Nine on the same timeline, discussing each update and fangirling together at each new development. 

Her grace. Julia has an air about her that is undeniable. She has the poise of princess, the ethereal beauty of mermaid, and the aura of fairy. She just seems magical, and with every strong step and  turn of the gaze, her movement seems intentional. And it’s not just grace in her physicality, but also her vernacular and tone of voice. She is a royal out of time. When I’m around her I feel I am speaking to someone who is intellectually my equal, and in all other regards my superior . Yet I am always comfortable around her. 

Her compassion. As I stated before Julia is kind. she’s the sort of unbelievably kind person that you almost distrust at first. She has always been someone that I find easy to talk to because I know she’ll view my flaws and poor decisions with compassion. She’s been a stable and calming force in my life as I’ve been through the dips of mental health issues. She’s always been there for me, offering kind words and advice, and I hope I can always be there for her. 

Her talent. Not only is Julia a natural goddess, she has worked hard to excel in many aspects of her life. A first chair flutist and brilliant musician, I have endless respect for her ability to set her mind to something diffident and see it through. In addition, her work ethic when it comes to education is extremely admirable, and even though she could easily ride by on her natural intelligence, she is willing to put the effort in, and I think that’s what separates her from most (including myself).

How much she loves dogs. This one may seem silly, but I think it’s good example to display just who she is. She’s the type of girl to call all dogs ‘puppies’ no matter their age, the squeal with excitement at the sight of a stranger walking their dog nearby, and to scold her dogs in the firm but loving way that is needed. It’s her way of viewing things with wonder and excitement that isn’t necessary but brings light into everyday life that I simply adore. 

 How easy it is to brag about her to everyone. Really, I spend an unhealthy amount of time bragging about Julia to my friends, heck, even to people who aren’t my friends yet. Actually it’s good subject for me to ramble on about in order to make friends. My new friends at college know her as ‘My Julia” because I bring her up quite frequently, talking about almost exactly what I have written here on this post. 

Our conversations. Talking to Julia is always so easy., maybe it;s because I care about literally everything she has to say or maybe because she always keep things interesting. She is a great story teller, and a great listener to. I’ve always loved the conversations where we can ponder and debate random subjects. It’s never felt forced or competitive, and I’ve always found her words very insightful. She takes on different perspectives from mine, but makes fair and valid points. 

The idea of her. As you’ve probably gathered by now, Julia on the surface appears to be a very ladylike and princess-esque person. And while that is all true, she is also a total badass feminist woman. I vole the idea of her being all floral prints and long blonde Barbie hair, but also self defense, self respect, and self dependence. She may be a princess, but she sure as hell isn’t a damsel in distress. She’s like the perfect character form a book or movie, she takes gender roles and breaks them over her knee and I freaking love it. 

The fact that she’s my friend. Seriously, how lucky am I? I get to be friend with a mermaid fairy princess that loves me nearly as much as I love her. I get he pleasure of seeing her on holidays, and hearing her talk. I value her friendship more than an material object, and just the mere thought of the undeniable fact that she is my friend is enough to make me cry just a little. I’m so so lucky. 

Everything. It’s as simple as that. I love everything about her. 

Dedicated to  #Grenfell victims and to all #Justiceforgrenfell campaigners.

A review: Star Trek discovery Episode 5- Choose Your pain. . By  Mallory Ortberg

Say what you will about tonight’s outing, it was certainly an episode of television. I don’t mean to sound snarky; I’m trying to figure out how to relate to a Star Trek series that, thus far, seems relatively interested in being a show about Star Trek. Lots of Trek shows start off with a rocky first season or two, and of course “being about Star Trek” is a concept with variable interpretations. This week’s episode is a bit of a mess, but I’d like to start by talking about what I loved first, and that is, hands down, temporary Acting Captain Saru’s attempt to Seven Habits of Highly Effective People his way to success using the ship’s computer.

“Computer,” he says, “compile a database of the most highly decorated Starfleet captains, living and dead.” (Jonathan Archer made the list, in case you’re wondering.) Then he asks the computer to cross-reference “the qualities that made them successful,” which is such a wonderfully vague thing to ask a ship’s computer, sort of like asking Watson to analyze your Myers-Briggs type. What were the ineffable personality traits that contributed to the achievement of strangers, and why aren’t I like that? He orders the computer to run a How to Be the Best Saru Possible protocol (sure), and the computer tells him about the “negative element” holding him back from achieving his full potential (your first two guesses about the identity of the negative element don’t count), and recommends he remove the element. Saru’s not willing to go that far, but he does seem pretty chuffed at his excellent captaining strategy, which seems to be, essentially, “Make sure the computer gives me a periodic pep talk.” Which is not a bad strategy, as those things go! It was delightful and a little embarrassing and extremely on-brand for Saru.

My greatest objection to tonight’s episode, while we’re talking about high and low points, came during the closer, when Lieutenant Stamets and his husband Dr. Culber are standing around brushing their teeth and catching up after the day’s events, and Lieutenant Stamets pulls his toothbrush out of his mouth mid-brush, starts talking, and fails to either spit or rinse his mouth. I found this viscerally upsetting, as I kept imagining how his mouth would have filled with toothpaste as he tried to speak without rinsing. I’m sure Starfleet has some sort of, I don’t know, dissolving toothpaste at this point, but it was all I could think about for hours afterward. It haunted me as I brushed my own teeth hours later.

Meanwhile, Burnham dreams she’s electrocuting her own double in the spore-navigational chamber (if you can think of a better word for it, please God, let me know), which really sets the tone for how the rest of the episode is going to go. Captain Lorca gets intercepted by Klingons on his return from a profoundly unsuccessful strategy meeting with Starfleet Command, and gets thrown into a cell with a full gritty-upbraid Harry Mudd, who I am going to do my best not to refer to as Dwight Schrute for the duration. Mudd’s backstory — he got into trouble borrowing money to buy his girlfriend a moon, and angry creditors handed him over to the Klingons — brought up a rousing economic debate between my friends Sergio and Norah.

Sergio: But there’s no money in the Federation?

Norah: I mean, if you’re buying your girlfriend a moon, I think you’re operating outside of standard Federation parameters already.

The general consensus was that Norah is right. Mudd also delivers a “maybe Starfleet is to blame for all this conflict, with their relentless expansionism; no one ever thinks about the little guys like me!” monologue. Between that, and the moment where Burnham tells Saru that “his culture” leads him to mistrust her (since he’s from a planet where everyone shares the same basic character traits due to, you know, evo-psych), it feels like the show is really heavily leaning into the whole immediately-post-9/11 discourse thing. I’m not wild about it!

Anyway, Captain Lorca is kidnapped by the Klingons and held in an ill-lit prison cell, where the Klingons have their prisoners routinely beaten on a weird shared-pain round-robin system. You can either take your torture yourself, or “volunteer” one of your co-prisoners to get beaten up on your behalf. (Guess which option Mudd routinely chooses. You have guessed correctly!)

There’s also an extremely unsettling dude sharing their Torture Quarantine named Ash Tyler, a broken-down lieutenant who practically begs to get beaten up and left behind to die at every opportunity. After a brief round of perfunctory Clockwork Orange–style eyeball torture, Lorca and Tyler team up and take out their sleepwalking-on-the-job captors the next time they demand one of them “choose their pain.” They also leave Mudd behind after Lorca determines he was feeding prisoner secrets to the Klingon command, which is sort of understandable, if not exactly on Starfleet brand. (Please feel free to substitute Victor Garber’s “Very wool” and “That’s not wool” line readings from his episode of 30 Rock whenever I declare something “Starfleet” or “not Starfleet.”)

Back on the Discovery, Burnham finally finds someone willing to listen to her concerns about the toll all these jumps are taking on the tardigrade in Dr. Culber, although he kind of hilariously bails on her to perform an Andorian tonsillectomy the second Lieutenant Stamets pushes back. There’s some more Bad Discourse, Lieutenant Stamets says, “You say portobello, I say portabella,” for some reason (is that a thing?), and ultimately they decide it’s worth trying to upgrade the tardigrade’s genetic sequence into a willing, sentient host in the hopes of finding a better long-term solution to powering the spore drive. Also, they get to say the F-word twice, and they all seem very pleased with themselves. This isn’t network television! Harry Mudd has an angry beard, this Captain blew up his last crew to spare them all from Klingon torture, and we’re swearing now.

Saru’s response is, not incorrectly, that upgrading a human’s genetic sequence in order to power a starship qualifies as eugenics, and therefore Not On. The tardigrade dehydrates itself into a hibernating husk to avoid the whole situation, and Saru orders the crew to, essentially, “Just Magic Sponge him back to normal,” so they can rescue the captain already. Lorca and Lieutenant Tyler come tearing out of Klingon space under hot pursuit, get beamed aboard, and Saru orders the team to jump.

The second Stamets said simply, “We’re ready,” after Saru asks if the tardigrade is fully functioning again, Norah and Sergio exchanged Significant Looks and I pretended to have guessed what they had, too — namely that Stamets had uploaded the genetic sequence into his own body, and powered the jump himself. This both worked (the crew gets away!) and did not work (he collapses and starts giggling in a very upsetting way).

Afterward, Burnham and Saru have another rehashing of old resentments in her quarters: Saru clarifies that he isn’t afraid of her, and he’s jealous he didn’t get to experience Georgiou’s mentoring once Burnham had gotten her own command because it would have prepared him better for today’s events. I’m skeptical that anything could have prepared him to deal with the genetic manipulation of living Starfleet members in order to fuel a mushroom-based warp drive, but fair enough. 

Burnham offers him Georgiou’s telescope, which she received merely a single episode ago, because this show seems anxious to burn through as much plot and dramatic capital as quickly as possible. It’s like a game of closure hot-potato! Saru offers a conciliatory gesture of his own and gives Burnham the freedom to care for the tardigrade however she thinks best, so she releases it into space on a total hunch. It works out, but it’s not even a hypothesis, she just thinks being outside will make it feel more relaxed.

Which, in her defense, it does!

The last thing we see is legitimately great, like Event Horizon–level great. After that terrifying giggle-collapse, Dr. Culper can’t stop fussing over Lieutenant Stamets in their quarters, and you know that something Weird is going to happen once he finally heads to bed, leaving Stamets alone in front of the mirror, weirder than talking after brushing your teeth without rinsing. And you think, I don’t know, you think he’s going to have weird eyes, or giggle again, or do something that lets the audience know that he Came Back Wrong, and he does, but it’s not what I expected at all. Stamets calmly walks after his husband, leaving behind his own image standing perfectly still in the mirror. It’s a great moment, and it freaked me the hell out. https://goo.gl/8ehbMV