#this man is a dog-person thru and thru | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yippeerrrs · 9 months

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Ghost Headcannons

Artwork not mine!! @/seviida on twt!

So uh.. got a lil bored, enjoy!!

Angsty

Man is very flinchy when you touch him literally anywhere, would sometimes even get into a defensive position automatically.

Takes his job seriously, he won't admit it but he actually doesn't want anyone to die in battle.

If anyone does die he blames it on himself and gets angry at himself to the point where he would probably start throwing stuff around.

He probably shot his teammate once before because they startled him, thise memories will forever haunt him. And he'll never forgive himself for that.

He doesn't take off his mask, it's like a safety net for him. Doesn't like to look at his face either since all he sees is the bad memories he's been thru (because of his scars).

Because of him not wanting to take off his mask, if he takes a bath and he really has to, he'll keep his eyes shut. He doesn't feel like his body is his own after being repeatedly raped.

Would always turn people down when they confess to him. He doesn't believe that people would actually love him.

Barely trusts people, since he was betrayed more than once in his past he'll never actually fully trust someone.

Would sleep with his gun beside him for safety precautions.

Barely sleeps, he says its to 'train his body' but in reality he doesn't like the nightmares.

Fluff

Has a HUGEE soft spot for dogs, he would probably just babble about it for hours on end.

LOVES tea and biscuits in the morning, gets him in a good mood.

Would slightly hesitate if someone offered him a hug, but would eventually hug them (depending on who the person is , ofc)

Probably bites on his mask at times.

Mans mask probably smells HORRIBLE, he'd be the type to barely clean it.. yuck. (Buts its alr we still love him)

#ghost headcanons #ghost mw2 #simon ghost riley #ghostxreader #simon riley imagine #simon riley fluff #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #light angst #angst #bullshitting #idk anymore #yippee

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jhuzen · 1 year

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Small brainrot--

Zhongli: You always seemed to get injured when I accompany you on your commissions, is there something wrong? Have I done something to cause this? Please, talk to me...

Reader: My love, darling, sweetheart, I swear it's not that deep. I keep getting hurt because I'm distracted staring at your ass-

-Morax

distractions [gn/m.reader]

AAAAAAAAAA MORAX ANON PULLING THRU WITH A GOOD ZHONGLI BRAINROT! i planned to make just me also brainrotting but here’s a quickie HAHDHSJDCJD. i had so much fun making this LMAO

𖦹 kinda crack lmao, degenerate reader 😭

He was hypnotic.

Zhongli, as your dearest beloved, exceeded your expectations far more than you could ever imagine. He was all too good! An absolute gentleman, completely attuned to your needs and would never lead you down into a path of agony and harm. He was always there, perhaps almost always there, considering that his job as the consultant at the funeral parlor was the only thing keeping him away from you 24/7.

You had no doubts that this man is absolutely enamored with you, tailing you around like a loyal dog when you’re out in your errands. And by these errands, often they are commissions posted by certain people, asking the bravest souls out there to get rid of a few pests loitering around in Liyue.

You were perhaps one of the most sought out bounty hunters in the field. And while you weren’t directly affiliated with world renowned Adventurer’s Guild, you still were often dragged into their commissions, as adventurers personally had to come and ask for your help in the middle of your afternoon tea to track down some pesky ruin guards that indiscriminately attacks everything in its sight.

People may have fretted at the sight of any ruin machine that they came across their paths, but to you, they were the quickest way to earn a lot of mora as having Zhongli for a lover doesn’t come cheap, the man basically buys anything that catches his eye, and the fact that he’s absolutely atrocious in bargaining with you barely excelling at it as well, you’re bound to constantly have enough on you for his spending exploits. Suffice to say, you were the apex predator of these machines, constantly on the hunt for them.

Though that did not seem to apply as you winced for the tenth time at this very moment.

How lucky was it that you were nearby Mingyun Village when you took on a certain bounty that was given on you. It offered a million mora as you had to deal with two hulking ruin hunters, aggressive in temperance as it looked to be one of those just seem to lock on to you in sight.

Zhongli was free that day, and offered to come with you. Your endearing lover expressed his concerns when he happened to look over the paper that contained all the details for your target. And to see you deal with those merciless machineries, he couldn’t hold himself back and immediately asked to come with you.

You weren’t one to deny his offer. Zhongli was a warrior god above all and you’ve seen him countless times on the battlefield when the traveler had asked you and him to accompany them on a tedious commission. And on the off chances that you’ve been on a mission with your adoring lover… you’ve noticed one insufferable thing.

He’s far too distracting.

There was a common denominator in every single time you and him went out on a mission; you were always somehow barely escaping death by the skin of your teeth. It was ridiculous. You’d think having Zhongli in the field would inspire you to do better — but no. He distracted you. Him and his graceful movements, the way his shield just granted you unparalleled protection and when he kicks his spear, you could almost shrivel up and just die then and there.

And unfortunately, this one almost had you kicking the bucket.

Blood trails can be seen on the grassy fields as your worried lover hurried to the nearby village. The residents were quick to aid him and had given him the much needed things for your wound treatment. There was a concerning gash on the juncture of your neck and shoulder, and Zhongli was damn near in tears as he patched you up.

You failed to hold in a wince as you joked around to lighten the mood, “Guess that hunk of junk was eager to be on me, huh?” You peered up at your lover while you sat on the chair, whose frown never left him as he continued to clean around your still bleeding wound. “Hey, c’mon, don’t look so sad… I just happened to be at the wrong spot, love.”

A tensed silence fell between you and him and even in his unresponsive state, you could feel the worry that emanated from him. And even that was something you felt responsible for, unable to say anything else.

And finally he granted you mercy as he heaved a soft sigh, looking at you with eyes that overflowed with so much concern, “I was so worried… you’ve never been this badly injured before.”

You had no heart to tell him the stupid reason behind your fuck up, so you opted to stay silent.

Zhongli took your silence as remorse for your mistake and only continued to press on, eyebrows furrowing as he caressed your face that had a tad bit of dirt smudged into it, “I never wanted to bring this up… but it seems as though every time I accompany you on your hunting missions, you always seem to end up getting hurt far more than when you worked alone…”

You hated where this was going but did not bother protesting, you know trying to get ahead of him is a losing battle, “Is… Is it me? Have I done something to cause this? Am I perhaps lacking in providing you protection? Please…” his words were soft as he pleaded, amber eyes meeting you with a hint of desperation. “Please tell me… I must know what led up to this point. I don’t want to realize things when it’s much too late.”

Stupidity pounced on you as Zhongli expressed his dissatisfaction. This is awful. You felt the guilt seep through your veins when your precious lover was unloading so much of his scorn all for a reason so stupid.

But then again, your dignity was always a notch lower than your love in a list of priorities. You can only hope the man doesn’t hurl his giant meteor at you once you do tell him the reason.

“Don’t… be mad,” you started and immediately grimaced at his pointed stare. Right. Never patronize a worried lover. With your good arm, you pulled him by the waist, looking up at him with a small grin, “It’s not that deep. I promise you. Though, yes, to an extent, my subpar performance has something to do with you.”

Your grip around his waist tightened when you felt him bristle at your words, almost close to pulling away. You quickly fished him out of his misery as you continued, “Forgive my crudeness… but you have been a distraction for me when you join me on my missions…”

“Pardon?”

“Your…” you coughed a little as a light blush dusted your cheeks, “You… uh, how do I put this delicately… you present a rather delectable view on certain angles when you fight.”

Yet another blanket of silence enveloped the both of you, but you broke out a sweat as Zhongli slowly processed your words. The frown on his face suddenly deepened and it was only now or never before he hurls the meteor at you and kills you for good.

Zhongli jolted as your hand brushed against his fine ass and gave the supple area a little squeeze. You bargained for an ounce of mercy with that charming grin of yours.

The former archon sighed with a loaded indignation. He wonders sometimes how on earth can you be a bounty hunter with that kind of reckless attitude. “You… you are impossible.” He murmurs with the intention to chide you but even you can hear the embarrassment in his tone.

“Aw c’mon! It’s not too bad!” You cackled as the atmosphere between you cleared. You gave him one last wink before going in for another squeeze, prompting him to smack your wounded shoulder out of instinct, making you keel over, pressing your head against his stomach.

“Ah! My apologies, are you—?”

“Yep. All good. I deserve it.” You managed through a pained groan.

And you took one last chance at life and gave yet another squeeze.

“Yep. All good. I deserve it.” You managed through a pained groan.

And you took one last chance at life and gave yet another squeeze.

Whether or not you passed out from the pain or Zhongli’s meteor, you’ll never know. This was your punishment after all. One you would gladly take head on.

“Yep. All good. I deserve it,” you managed with a pained groan.

And you took one last chance at life and gave yet another squeeze.

Whether or not you passed out from the pain or Zhongli’s meteor, you’ll never know.

#fun fact; og title of this is cake #my fave zhongzhong scenario #thank u morax anon #u have no idea how much ily and ur ideas #keep em coming #genshin impact x male reader #genshin impact x gn reader #zhongli x male reader #zhongli x gender neutral reader #zhongli x gn reader #zhongli x reader #jhuzen’s stupid scenarios #jhuzen’s stupid one shots

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negrowhat · 4 months

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Top 5 scenes that made you scream? Any kind of screaming.

Top 5 Scenes that made me SCREAM.

Uea sending his Birth Giver's husband to prison on Bed Friend. Rarely do we EVER see BL victims get justice and not only did that bitch's putrid husband get arrested but we got to see him get dragged out of his house like a dog and her sobbing for that disgusting man. That hoe deserves the electric chair. WE ALSO GOT TO SEE HIS BOSS GET TAKEN DOWN. Uea won and so did we.

Tharn's wet dream about Phaya from The Sign. WHO WOULD'VE GUESSED THAT OUR SWEET THARN WOULD BE DREAMING ABOUT BEING FUCKED AGAINST THE WALL IN HIS SHOWER! I lost my shit.

Nail throwing Jay's shit over the staircase railing in For Him. Nail is a fucking bad bitch and Jay almost made him forget that shit. My boy had a full on Beyonce Irreplaceable moment and I screamed the whole time. I'm just personally glad that Him fucked the Jay right out of Nail's system so easily and so mind-blowingly.

Little Jun explaining to Big Jun the difference between squishy and pliable from Jun & Jun. Highkey that whole breakroom scene was so damn unhinged and Choi Jun had absolutely no chill ever. I screamed thru that whole series tbh.

Ritsu admitting to Masumi that he hadn't stopped thinking about him since they ended terribly 10 yrs prior from The End of the World With You. Normally Ritsu was so indifferent and even when he and Masumi broke up he didn't seem to care that much but with the world ending in a week and Masumi injured from a bad fall Ritsu finally admitted to that Masumi was basically the one that got away. He was in love with Masumi and never stopped.

ASK ME MY TOP 5 BL ANYTHING IN 2023

#bed friend #bed friend the series #the sign #the sign the series #for him the series #for him #jun and jun #the end of the world with you #Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu

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lakesbian · 6 months

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okay so 2.8. overall thoughts on rachel's introduction.

rachel not wanting a fifth person to join the team is ostensibly about the money she would lose from it, but it's more importantly about the fact that, as a disabled girl deeply unwanted by society, she has absolutely no trust in people. she can tolerate brian, lisa, and alec for the sake of the security and stability, but she doesn't trust them beyond the bare minimum. a strange person being brought into her house is deeply scary. she's used to every single new person she meets being a threat, someone with motives she can't read expecting her to operate based on arbitrary rules she can't understand. and because she has been taught that the only way to keep herself safe is to hurt people before they can hurt her (everyone will always want to hurt her), her immediate reaction to taylor Being There is to sic her dogs on taylor with hopes of scaring her off & securing her environment again. rachel autism lindt <3

brian is the second person we see breaking out the not-so-repressed violence and anger in this scene. he clocks rachel in the face, he says

“I fucking hate it,” Brian growled at the girl, putting emphasis on the swear, “When you make me do that.”

and he does some yelling about God Fucking Dammit. i think the crux of brian is that he consciously fervently does not want to be like his abusive stepfather, but the only alternative he's been taught was by his father...who is, unbeknownst to brian, also abusive. he's been taught that masculinity = good + mandatory and strength = masculine. his vision for himself as a Good Man who Takes The Lead and Cares For People involves stifling his 'weak' emotions and running himself ragged. he's not even very good at repressing himself compared to the other undersiders, so he's prone to outbursts like this sometimes--where, regardless of whether or not the violence he's engaging in is rationally justifiable, it's immensely charged w/ undertones of reminding him of exactly who he wants to avoid being.

it is Fully Understandable why, as a 17yo w/ zero training in conflict deescalation, the only way he can think to solve the matter of rachel violently siccing her dogs on someone is socking her. but "i fucking hate it when you make me do that" is still eerily reminiscent of some things his abusive stepfather has likely said to him before. he doesn't Want to be like that, but he doesn't know how to let himself be anything other than that.

(this situation w/ rachel and taylor sucks for him, ftr. he was so genuinely elated that he'd Acted Normal Enough to snap up this cool addition to the team, a girl with a good power who actively thinks along the exact same rational lines as him. which is important, because he needs the undersiders to succeed so that he can care for aisha like he feels he needs to. and then rachel busts in ruins what he's viewing as this great success by attacking taylor to drive her off. brian laborns bad day. rachel lindts bad day. tayor heberts bad day. lisa wilbourns deeply stressful day. alec vasils depression slump day.)

AND we get to watch taylor be violent and angry as well. that one is very simple there's not much to say about it. she's full of violent repressed anger (it's why she imagines beating the shit out of emma & co when she's being bullied in the halls prior to meeting the undersiders again), she usually holds it back because she recognizes that it would just cause the system to fuck her over more in the long-run, and here she realizes that there's no consequence of fighting back and proceeds to whale on rachel.

(i think that the reason she's primarily violent with her own human body here instead of w/ the bugs is because her usage of the bugs is frequently a form of dissociation--and here, rather than having to dissociate her way thru a violent situation, she's finally allowed to confront it head on and fight back w/ hands and feet As Herself. sucks and traumatizing to be attacked by dogs, but cathartic to be able to fight back.)

meanwhile: lisa is presumably vividly imagining slamming her own head into a brick wall and alec (badly depressed, seen far worse) doesnt even care with all the shit he's got going on

#wormtime 2 #wormtime 2 arc 2 #parahumans #wormblr #this is NOT a coherent post but thats how liveblogs work!

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focsle · 1 month

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Went thru another one of Mr. Keith’s journals, this one from 1866-69 when he’s second mate (later first) on the whale ship Cape Horn Pigeon. Every journal entry is addressed to his wife (who was also on his mind on other voyages prior to his marrying her). The thought of her dominates the pages more than anything else, and is a very personal insight into the mind of a man who chose to make the sea his living, for all its distance.

“All day on deck today and have been as homesick as a dog all day. To Night I have got all night to sleep in. I have been fitting the Main Top Gallant brace blocks on the mizzen took down the double ones And put up single ones. Last Night I was dreaming of you I woke up Some time in the night and kissed your picture and went to sleep Again and went to dreaming again of you. This is all I can say to you To night in this book but I am going to write some in your letter. So thousands of sweet kisses to you darling Sarah Good Night.”

More entries under the cut for length.

He was homesick and lovesick often, thinking his shipmates wouldn’t understand.

“There has been a lot of ships in sight to day all of them with the exception of One was bound to England and she was going to America and Oh Sarah Darling how I thought of you. How I wish I was on board of her Bound to see my lovly Companion. I could have cryed but these hard Hearted sailors who have no wives and home would laugh at me.”

Every aspect of his daily life reflected back to how she was faring, from being thankful she didn’t have to drink the ship’s stagnant water, to how he entertained himself and others on deck.

“This forenoon was very unpleasant for it rained until Twelve O clock and I did not change my clothes until after dinner I got wet through by being out in the rain washing my clothes. This Afternoon has been pleasant and my men have been getting out Fresh water to drink and such water, Sarah I am glad you do not have to drink it. I have got all night to sleep in. I have just come down from the deck where I have been playing the Accordion and thinking of you. I always feel sadest when I Sing or play. Darling girl a pleasant night to you dream dear Girl of your Marshall who at the time you dream will be thinking of you Sweet one I must say again Good Night Sarah Dear.”

He often made note of his dreams that swung between the erotic, the homesick, and the anxious, and often a mix of the three. Here was one about getting caught with a Different Sarah.

“This has been a nice day Sarah not a breath of air Stirring I have been on deck all day and felt some better than I did yesterday but far from being well. I have set up the Head rigging to day. Last night I dreampt I was at home and in some strange house standing in the door way you came Out and passed me. I asked you where you were going. You Said after water. After you left me Sarah Munroe came Up to me and asked me if I wanted to see some thing. I told her yes. She open her dress in front and showed Me her bubies she asked me if they looked pretty I told her yes. I asked her to let me feel of them. She said yes. I asked her to let me kiss them she said yes but don’t let Sarah Pope see you just as I was in the act you came in sight and caught me and Oh what a blessing you gave me. Sarah I will tell you more bye and bye. I must Close by saying many kisses to you Good Night Darling Wife.”

For whatever other women were in his mind during the voyage, he made a point to mention that the dreams turned back to her.

“Had a quear dream a regular sailors dream which is always About the women. delacacy prompts me from writing the Most of it but the last of it was about you. I met you and you asked me where I was going I told you to the barbers to shave all of. I thought you kissed me and asked me not to shave off my mostash. I told you I would not But you said it was twelve O clock and I had better go to bed I said all right you know I never refused to go to bed with you in my life. I must say Good Night Darling Sarah.”

Sometimes the dreams were influenced by anxieties met in life. When he didn’t receive an expected letter from her (which hardly reflects on whether or not she wrote him—receiving letters aboard vessels was a long and uncertain process), he had a dream mixed with both his doubt of her life ashore but also his hopes.

“This has been a nice day Sarah and I have been to work very hard but that did not take my mind up so but what I felt bad on account of not getting a letter from you. You will not neglect me again so will you Sarah. Last night I dreampt I got home and I Came into the kitchen and saw your mother (and my Mother) sitting there by herself. I asked her where Sarah was She said you were in your room taking care of the Baby. I asked her whose baby it was. She said it was mine. Then I came in and saw you sitting down with a pretty Little cherub in your lap and it looked so good to me I asked you whose it was you said it belongs to me. And out of a joke I told you it never was mine. When you came up to me and cryed and kissed me and said it belonged to me. So Sarah after you have slighted me you see you have a space in my dreams of pleasure still.”

Eventually he did receive word from her, and learned that his dream proved true.

“This has been a pleasant day Sarah and This morning when I got up that island was in sight what Held your letters for me. At Twelve O Clock the capt went on Shore and at 5 he came of and had Two letters for me. One from you and one from Aurelia. The one from you was No 1. Sarah I must bid you pleasant dreams with your little baby for it was tonight I first learned that you were going to have one.”

In addition to homesickness, he often mentioned physical sickness, usually pains in his side. His health issues and day dreaming led to friction with the captain.

“It has been a nice day today but I have been sick all day and this noon. I could not eat my dinner and I stopped on deck while the rest got their dinner. I sat close to the door on a chest and I heard the old curse say there is a man on board this ship that wishes himself At home I wish he was there. When he came up I pitched up to him and I gave him enough of it. What is more he could not stop me. Last night I was very sick in the night and I wanted to make water. I had a bottle in my bearth and did not feel like going on deck so I used it for that Purpose and this morning I forgot to throw it over board. This fore noon the Old Hog went into my room to look for some Screws and he saw the bottle he smelt of it and Accused me of taking something to make me sick. Oh Sarah that most killed me. I have cryed all the afternoon just on that account. And he went as far as to tell me I hold my Wife too well he said he thought you were in my mind most of the time and that I wanted to see you so much that I was making my self sick to get home. And what do you think I called him. A god damned fool and a liar.

At one point he seems to consider his sickness to be pregnancy sympathy pains.

“This has been a pleasant day Sarah but I have been feeling very bad bordering onto sickness and a very bad pain in my side but I do not think it strange as you are about to have a child. I think I have been sick enough over one child. Oh Sarah Darling how I do and have pitied you for my suffering has been nothing compared with yours but I hope on this pleasant day they are all over. And I hope you will not have an other one while I go to sea. I must bid you good night my dearest angel Good Night.”

His dreams now often featured the baby as well, and again was a mix of hope and anxiety.

“Oh if I could see my Wife to night I would not feel as I do now but that is impossible. Last night I drempt I was at home and met you in the street and kissed you and I thought you kissed me but you done it in such a way I thought you did not care much about me, for you kissed me quick and turned away from me. I asked you what you had named it (the Baby) and you told me its name was Hannah Rachel Keith. Then you said to me I hope you like the name. I thought I was with you until bed time and we started to go to bed and just as we were going into the bed room I woke up and found myself on board the Cape Horn Pigeon a long way from my darling Sarah. Sarah kiss Hannah Rachel for me and I will bid you both good night.

He later learns from a letter that the baby was named Susie Rachel. When whales were captured, he always thought of them in terms of dresses for his wife and things for his baby.

“It has blown most a gale to day Sarah and I have been to the Mast head seven hours where the wind could Blow through me. But it was not for pleasure that I done it. It was to look for whales that we might catch them what I could earn something for my wife and child but could not see any thing. And the wind has blown my eyes almost out of my head. But I feel that was done for a good cause Sarah. I can not say much to night but nevertheless I love you as Fondly as before and shall continue to do so as long as we are permitted to live. Darling Sarah kiss that sweet babe for me and I must bid good night to those who alone I ask to live for. Ten thousand kisses to you Sweet Sarah.”

At one instance he wrote, ‘I am wet through with oil Sarah at the presant time But I know you would not disown me if you saw me now.’ It was his life, and it was through that life that he saw his ability to provide for a family, however distant they may be. In this frame of mind, one more to close:

“We are boiling our whales Sarah and I am covered with oil but it makes the money come and it is all for you. I could live in oil for your sake. I must close and go on deck until 1 O clock at night. Kiss my babe for me. Good night Sarah.”

#mr marshall keith #awhalin #i still need to read his earlier one when his ship was taken by a raider

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skippyv20 · 2 months

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Spotlight on Markus Anderson + SOHO House

Hi Skippy & Friends-Pilgrim here thinking it is ABOUT TIME an intense spotlight unearths the truth of what has been going on at SOHO Houses since their beginning in London. We do know their specially designed wallpaper that looked like flowers was really private body parts up close. We have read and deducted that Markle basically lived in them, having her own place to store luggage in London. Didn’t JH describe in Spare being taken thru secret hallways to get to her door? Together Markus & Markle, who act like friends with hot benefits in photos, enjoy playing gaslighting games together. It seems he can go either way as it has been written he had a fling with Edward Enniful-who did the disastrous Vogue issue with Markle and is just now retiring as the editor-in-chief of British Vogue. As for her, well, she sends wedding rings back in manila envelopes saying it’s over while having been living with the new guy and is in the process of moving onto the next victim. She changes religion with a snap of her fingers. Don’t forget all those foreign business trips to famous playgrounds on yachts in-between, proudly photographed and presented on her Tig site as if she was on her own dime- sure Jan. 6 degrees of separation with this group is more like 2.

We do know that Markus Anderson was born in Ontario, not far from a private school a 17-year-old Randy Andy attended for one semester. (Hmmmmm-dare I wonder about the older, half-brother/cousin possibility?) Anderson started impressing the bosses at Toronto’s SOHO House and is now their global membership director helping drive the company’s international expansion. He was/is? the guy rich patrons called looking for easy, classy, hook-ups. From the U.S. Sun, “He started working for the company as a waiter but quickly moved up through the ranks, turning his hand to practically every position at the company on his way up the ladder. The stylish chap is the right-hand man to company CEO Nick Jones and personally crafts the guest lists to some of the biggest celebrity parties - including an annual Oscars bash. He was named one of Toronto Life’s 50 Most Influential in 2014.”

We do know he and Markle have been in cahoots for years, (she went to Toronto for Suits in 2011) travelling together often. I have so many questions about this man it’s not funny. He was photographed at the Montecito polo fields babysitting a weird acting Markle, seemingly calming down tempers after a huge fight. He was THE one ushering Markle closer to Prince Harry, be it polo matches in the UK, parties with international magnates or the 2017 Invictus Games. He was one of 4 who was in the IG’s suite waiting for the prince to come up and say a formal GOODBYE to Meghan but instead, was met by Doria who told PH what was reeeallly going to happen. He was the one who gladly showed up at her half million-dollar, bogus baby shower in Manhattan to take her out to dinner. She told the paps what door to be at and they were photographed as she walked out NOT wearing the huge baby bump she sported when she arrived! He is the one who babysat her now orphaned dogs staying behind in Canada. He was around so much many said he was living with them starting on Vancouver Island. I even think Archie looks just like HIM! I’m referring to the child shown off with Rev. Tutu and reading the Duck/Rabbit book. This whole dang thing stinks to high heaven.

Yes, shine a big spotlight on this man and company. If short sellers discover there is not enough to sure up the value of their stocks…well then SELL!!!

Thank you Pilgrim! Great post!!!!❤️

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decy-press · 5 months

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i finally completed Virtue's Last Reward last night so now i can finally post these memes i made several months ago

alt text below:

the images show portraits of a bunch of zero escape characters, each one paired up with a dril tweet i thought matched up to them. the characters and their matching tweets are:

sigma: "the rumors are true.; i am indeed sending out valentine day kisses to all of my pretty lady followers. even the ones who have betrayed me" phi: "sad to see people betraying their friends for no reason. couldnt be me. i only betray my friends when it gives me an Advantage" K: "if i had a suit of armor i could easily beat the shit out of any man alive" quark: "DAD: i just heard on t he news that teens are taking the "kick my ass" challenge. please dont do this. ME: you have no power over me, old man" tenmyouji: "dont pay mind of me. i am just a hound dogs old ass..." luna: "can we stop the posts please guys. can we all cool it with the gags, riffs, spoofs, and epic shit. people are trying to do mental health" dio: "struting around in my stepson cowboy hat looking for an ass kicking" clover: "(carrying a huge polkadotted bindle, looking like a dumb ass, shoes completely untied) mother.. father... im leaving home to join the cops" alice: "to the longhorn steakhouse which refused to serve me: a bib most certainly counts as a shirt" zero jr: "the jduge orders me to take off my anonymous v mask & im wearing the joker makeup underneath it. everyone in the courtroom groans at my shit"

ace: "wghen other people do jokes, they get the big buzz feed office, allowed to kiss girls, etc, but when i do it im treated like a Crook. typical" snake: "daily reminder that i wear a suit and tie daily eeven though i have not set foot in public for over 16 years. #GoodBoy #Hansdome" santa: "look at all these pitiful toads shamelessly seeking validation, unlike me, seeking validation in a cool, disaffected sort of way" clover: "(in a really quiet, barely audible voice) hope your dick falls of bitch" junpei: "AH. ONCE AGAIN IM RAKED THRU THE COALS AND TORTURED TO DEATH FOR HAVING A NORMAL PERSONS OPINON. FUCK OFF" june: "GIRL: (after listening to me explain something i invented called Weed Theory for 20 mins) Wow thats pretty good. Did you invent that? ME: yes" seven: "i may not know "jack shit", but i know my friend "jack fists" and he would like to come knock the shit out of your teeth," lotus: "to me the most normal career path is to fail at show biz and resort to getting paid by defense contractors to make reddit psots or some shit" ninth man: "so long suckers! i rev up my motorcylce and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement" zero: "if you are a hater you have 9 hours to confess to being a hater and apologise and pull your pants down so every one can see your dick"

#zero escape #nine hours nine persons nine doors #999 #virtue's last reward #i made both of these before learning any of the twists #and the ace one is even funnier now i know about him

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buttl0rd · 5 months

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Do you have any Stan headcanon??

i have a few!!!! stan's been one of my favs since season1 and i really love his character. i mostly adopt hcs from other people because i'm not very creative with them, but here are my thoughts

stan's questioned his gender since the cissy episode and he does a lot of experimenting with his gender expression and pronouns in his teens. he identifies as nonbinary but keeps using he/him pronouns and masc expression for a number of reasons (mostly because he finds it hard explaining to people), but when he's in a safe setting with other queer folks he feels more comfortable expressing his gender identity. kyle and wendy are his biggest supporters. cartman rips on him for it but ALWAYS used stan's preferred pronouns throughout his experimentation

stan is a bisexual DISASTER and finds everyone attractive. he's a flaming pussy though so he never scores. he's just like, [person] is super hot, and that's the end of it, he's already moved on. which brings me to my next hc,

his fucking commitment issues!!! stan has a crippling fear of long-term relationships, and this likely sprouted from his depression. he didn't see himself living past the age of 20 so he avoided committing to anything long-term. he most likely went to therapy for it and got a whole lot better. he committed to marrying kyle in the end. good for him

i hc stan as being a music production major or something in college. i like to think he dreams of having a world-famous rock band

we know he has addictive tendencies, it's part of his character. he's canonically seen drinking, smoking, hoarding and spending all the family's money on that mobile game. his addictions start ruining his life so the guys have an intervention and get him to rehab before he fucking dies. he gets better :) might relapse but dw about it

stan's been wildly in love with kyle since the dawn of time. he's always on his mind. the 'thinkin about kyle 24/7' type of love. he's so afraid of confessing to kyle to the point it makes him sick, his biggest fear is ruining their friendship. it's not until highschool kyle starts picking up on it and returning the feelings. there's no big confession, just a passionate and life-changing kiss on stan's bed after school one day. stan cries immediately afterwards because he's so happy

some extra lil silly things i hc:

he likes coffee, the goth kids got him hooked on it

he's cursed with a baby face, keeps any facial hair he can grow to make him look less like a little baby man

chubby.......

goes thru So Many phases of being vegetarian but always misses cheesed ourger and breaks his veggie streak whenever he gets sad

quarterback in highschool???

he's a real heavy sleeper. he snores and drools and tangles himself in blankets. kyle struggles to sleep in the same bed as him at first (light sleeper), but slowly gets used to it

he's kinda creeped out by cats. he's a dog person thru and thru

#south park #stan marsh

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kingprinceleo · 1 year

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gonna drop a silly little happy auau idea i had since its prob gonna be a while until i feel pog enough to actually draw it- ujhhhhh ok so like, metal is an active threat in Happy Auau, swearing vengeance on Sonic and Co (Shadow, Silver, Tails, and ghost Knuckles) after they whooped his ass back to mobius (he has completely dominated the Sol until they arrived, also omg hi blaze!!) So obv Metal is a lil pissy about having all his work ripped out from under him by his horrible flesh counterpart, after he HAD ALREADY WON. So hes trying to fucking kill the shit out of them, for real this time. Hes causing so much terror that sonics the one to put forward the notion that they need to shut him down for good, which is how u know its serious sdbhfhjds. its been a long time since sonics had a real rival challenge him like metal, and part of him wants to keep the adrenaline and fight- but as a wise(r) old man he knows that metal is too much of a greater danger to a kingdom hes trying to protect. Metals also REALLY been getting on his fucking nerves. lmao the gang are collectively trying to come up with a way to shut him down for good, a way theyre positive they cant come back from, but mfer keeps escaping containment, so thats a whole other problem anyway, shadow has (in his opinion) a brilliant idea and he doesnt tell anyone BSHFHBD. so he takes the 7 chaos emeralds and inbeds them into sonics crown, and puts it on him in the middle of the night hes trying to mind control sonic BHJSABHJDSBHJDHBJ and it works!!! next morning sonics head is fucking EMPTY

so shadow, in typical fashion decides to see how far he can take this! bc he is a strange strange man. i think it turns into real comedic shit like shadow has him put on like. the MOST emo thing hes got in his closet. makes him say no to being offered a chili dog, makes him tell tails hes Cringe!!!! the funniest one to me is shadow using this to make sonic fawn over him bc shadow can never get enough ego boosting!! i wanna have sonic break the mind control over the actual DUMBEST reason, smth rlly goofy like shadow tells him to call him "the coolest" either way after it breaks uhhh shadow gets fucking werehog punched thru a wall!!!! sonics fucking SEETHING. like steam is coming outta the mans ears. shadow is COMPLETELY unfazed and ive been rotating dialogue in my brain along the lines of 'took you long enough' or 'its about time' they start an actual fight (its mostly just shadow gracefully and nonchalantly dodging whatever attacks sonic sends his way) and sonic is chewing him out for Whatever The Fuck that was. Shadow casually explains that sonic is the only person he knows with as strong a passion for freedom as him, making him the most resistant to any kind of control, he would put up the strongest fight against it like no other, and if it works on sonic, then its likely to forcefully work on Metal if the need arises. sonic begrudgingly accepts the reasoning but keeps fighting with shadow anyway to work the anger off sdbfhsbhdfhs bc hes still pretty livid about the whole thing anyway heehoo silly stuff spinning in my brain in mach 10 speed

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic au #happy auau

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strawbrygashez · 8 months

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soapshipping hcs?? :))

AAAA okay! I’m worried these r ooc but UHM oh well 😈 under a cut bc it’s kinda long

•They both love listening to the other talk about anything. Well like, the narrator could listen to Tyler talk about how he stubbed his toe this morning and this man will still be like “mhm go on 😍” but I mean like how Tyler goes on long rants & randomly lists off things he knows. The narrator listens to every word like God is talking to him/giving him orders. Tyler likes listening to the narrator ramble too even tho the narrator probably doesn’t often unless he’s stressed from work and wants to talk about it. But I think every now and then he does ramble on about things he likes & random things he knows too.

Sometimes Tyler doesn’t look like he’s interested but he IS! He stores like literally any information the narrator tells him away in his head somewhere so he can do something with that info later. Be it like, learn more so he can show off, bond with him more or just is lowkey trying to show he does care about literally everything abt him.

•Tyler loves when narrator sits in his lap! The narrator is almost always embarrassed about doing so but after a while of Tyler just basically yanking him into his lap, he gets more used to it. Tyler will wrap his arms around him and rest his head on his back. He mostly only makes him sit in his lap at home but I think maybe a couple times he tries to get him to in public when no one is really paying them any attention anyways.

• AAA… okay sorry for this one but, Marla would watch them get it on ONCE I’m sorry but I can so see her just smoking and boredly watching them. She doesn’t join in but she’s like throwing in swears at the shit they do..maybe tries to give Tyler some advice on what to do next 💀 I don’t what would lead up to this situation but yeah.

•Obviously it’s so easy to tell when the narrator is jealous but I think Tyler can be just as jealous but won’t show it. He’ll smile thru whatever it is that has him feeling that way but kinda have a vaguely threatening aura but not enough to where the narrator or the other person will feel like brining it up. Usually his jealous feelings are solved in bed later but sometimes he will just be all silent and off until the narrator somehow manages him to tell him what’s wrong (yknow without the sex. This would probably be later down the road tho LOL)

Adding on to this, If the narrator makes it clear he doesn’t give a shit about certain people or a majority ppl knowing he’s with Tyler, Tyler will just be all over him while talking to other people. (Jealous or not) like his hand is in the narrators back pock, he has a arm around him, he kisses him or he really just starts a makeout session in front of whoever.

•The narrator feels like he doesn’t look anything special himself and is kinda confused why Tyler calls him pretty and etc but it’s not really a huge thing that bothers him. All the complements he gets from Tyler does help him gain a little confidence every day :)

• I think the narrator would assume Tyler is a dog person but in reality, Tyler would take home a little abandoned kitten if he felt like it :,) he lovesssss cats. If he believed in getting things that he doesn’t really need he would have that one cat poster that says “hang in there!”

They bring up getting a cat together every now and then but it’s always never a good time for some reason or another. Unless like what a said where Tyler would feel bad enough for a abandoned cat and just takes it home without warning lol.

•Tyler knows the narrator doesn’t eat much as it already is so eventually, he will go out of his way to buy more plain food that he personally wouldn’t get bc he likes foods with a lot of different things in it or on it. Like before he really started caring a lot for the narrator, he’d just shrug and be like “your loss” if he won’t eat what Tyler cooked but once he learns that the narrator has a lot of food aversions, he will get and cook the ‘simple’ things he likes with only a little bit of teasing, if any at all.

•Tyler uses sooooo many different nicknames and whatnot for the narrator but the narrator is only comfortable with calling him Ty. He will jokingly call him honey tho when he gets home or if Tyler is doing some house wife or ‘man of the house’ stuff.

Speaking of, if Tyler is doing some building or handy work around their house, the narrator finds it super hard to stop watching. The way Tyler sweats, his muscles flex, and the occasional grunts he lets out has the narrator about to pass out!!

#asks #THANKS FOR ASKING!!#those were all the ones that came to mind rn..might make a post with more eventually 💃🕺

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