#this is why i feel like me and my gf are the only ones who actually care about and understand sal
Note
love your account! maybe jealous art, patrick, or tashi headcanons? like individually them and reader. can be nsfw or not :)
thank you lovely!! i’m so glad to hear that🥹🫶🏾 i’ll do you one better n just do all three of them!
enjoy jealous art, patrick, and tashi :)
Art Donaldson:
- extremely jealous
- literally feels sick with jealousy
- terrible at hiding his jealousy too
- if he feels someone is being too flirty with you, he calls you his gf fifty times in one conversation
- yeah my GIRLFRIEND loves that show too, yeah my GIRLFRIEND is such a good cook, yeah my GIRLFRIEND is the best person in the world
- he does this all with an unnaturally wide smile on his face too
- he trusts you with his life, he literally would believe you killed a bunch of people before he’d believe you’d cheat on him so you’re not the problem
- his problem lies in other hungry losers who eye you whenever you wear your cute tennis outfits to go practice with him
- has to remind himself it’s not reasonable to fight people who look at you too much </3
- his jealousy problem stems from a deep insecurity that you’ll leave him for the better option
- always incredibly clingy after he gets into one of his jealous moods
- bro needs therapy
Patrick Zweig:
- hear me out yall… i don’t think patrick gets jealous like that
- he knows hes hot shit
- he doesn’t care if people flirt with you because he knows you’ll shut it down and you’re deeply in love with him, why worry?
- once in a while he does get jealous and he’s tweaking BADDD
- his internal monologue goes CRAZY he’s wishing death on everyone n their mother
- in a god awful mood when he’s jealous
- it has nothing to do with you, he trusts you with everything in him he just hates other people perceiving you
- will make out with you in front of people n then give them a subtle middle finger when you’re not looking
- petty as hell before he goes back to being nonchalant
- this happens once a month
- he also needs therapy
Tashi Duncan
- she’s above jealousy
- sure it irks her that people can just look at you but she’s not worried
- you’re deeply in love with her and she’s deeply in love with you so why would she gaf about random people staring at you with heart eyes
- cause she gets it, she also stares at you with heart eyes
- the difference is, your heart eyes are reserved for her n her only
- the majority of jealousy in your relationship comes from your side actually
- how can it not? your girlfriend is the best tennis player in the whole country and everyone loves her
- if she does get jealous, it’s brief
- she communicates her feelings and expects you to do the same so jealousy isn’t really a threat to your relationship
- mature tashi for the win!
#challengers#challengers fic#challengers headcanon#challengers imagine#tashi duncan x reader#patrick zweig x reader#art donaldson x reader#challengers x reader#artydonsgf
179 notes
·
View notes
Note
I saw your dad vox things and they're great! Could I request fem!reader and Valentino as her dad. Reader tells him she has a gf ( val thought she was straight) and how he would react. Thanksss♡
I actually have two requests for this! @absolut3lyn0t this one is for you too!
I took a deep breath as I stood outside of my fathers studio. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I thought about the conversation I needed to have with him. Fear knotted in my stomach, and nausea flowed through me. I wished beyond all belief that I could skip through time and be done with this discussion,or better yet, keep it to myself for just a little while longer. But the dance was two days away and my Papi would find out one way or another. Better to have him be upset privately than to hurt my girlfriend's feelings.
Girlfriend. The word itself sent butterflies coursing through my tummy. At seventeen I had of course been out on dates. All with guys. All who had come face to face with my father before I was even allowed out the door. But she, she was different. We shared our first kiss at a sleepover a month ago, and our relationship sealed itself in passed notes and secret kisses out of the sight of my Uncle Vox’s thousand cameras. Thankfully, my father thought she was a friend and had no issue with me going out to the mall or to sleepovers, or dinner with a friend. As long as I had my tracker on my wrist, I had a specific degree of freedom. After all, my Uncle Vox had eyes everywhere- there was no real use for a bodyguard.
When I told my father about the dance, he asked instantly who would be picking me up. I kept it as vague as I could, and told him I hadn’t decided yet. He chuckled, ruffled my hair and told me he couldn’t wait to meet the young man who would be escorting me. The thought that I liked girls had never been a discussion, or even a consideration for my father. Now with only days to go, and my girlfriend planning on picking me up before the dance, I knew I needed to tell my dad the truth.
I like girls, Dad, the thought played over and over in my head. Dad, I like girls.
I tried not to think about how he might react, but the fear still knotted in my stomach. What if he was angry? What if he didn’t accept me? Or worse, even, what if he kicked me out, called me a disappointment and refused to ever acknowledge me as his daughter again?
The elevator door opened and my father looked over from his director's chair. The stage was empty, which meant I had caught him at a good time- between shoots, not in the middle.
“Ah, pequeño amor, what are you doing here?” Valentino asked as he stood up. “Bebita, I know you’re technically old enough, but I really don’t want you in here.”
“Daddy? Can I talk to you in your office? It’s about the dance.” I said as he came over to me, his red robe sweeping behind him. “Do you have a minute?”
“For you, bebita? I have many minutes. Come, come.” He planted a kiss on my forehead and led me to his office.
The door closed behind us and I crossed my arms uncertainly. My father’s expression softened as soon as the door closed and he planted another kiss on my forehead before running his hand down my check, pausing and holding my chin so I looked at him.
“What’s the matter, cariño?” Valentino asked gently. “You look sad, niñita. Did your boyfriend bow out of the dance?” His eyes began to glow red, “did he hurt you?”
“Papi, that’s sort of what I need to talk to you about, there is no he.”
Valentino stared at me and released my chin. “What do you mean, bebita?”
“I mean he is a she,” I replied, looking down. “I have a girlfriend, Dad. Not a boyfriend. And I really like her.”
He blinked. “Oh. Alright then. Sorry, did she bow out on you? Did she hurt you?” The palm of his hand found my chin again and tilted my head up to meet his eyes. “Bebita, why are you crying?” He released my face and folded me into his arms. “Shussh, niñita. Papi is here. Who does Papi need to kill?” His hand gently stroked my hair, “just give me a name, pequeño amor. Papi will take care of the rest.”
“No, Daddy, I…she didn’t hurt me, I love her I just…she’s a her,” I replied, my voice muffled by his jacket.
“Bebita. I understand what lesbianism is.”
I sniffled. “You’re not mad?”
I felt his grip on me tighten. “ Is that what this is about?” He pushed me out from his chest and held me by my shoulders, his eyes meeting mine. “No, ninita. I’m not. I’m the overlord of lust and depravity- there is nothing you can tell me that I haven’t seen. You love who you love, and no matter who you love…” He planted a kiss on my forehead. “Doesn’t make me love you any less. You’ll always be Daddy’s little girl.”
Out in the studio, the bell that called his workers back to the stage rang out. He released me, and I could feel his gaze as he studied me.
“Are you okay, bebita?”
I nodded but wrapped myself back into him. He again put his his arms around me and stroked my hair. All the fears, the stress, the anxiety of having to tell him came flooding out.
“Sweetheart, hey, bebia. Papá está aquí. Daddy is here. Shussh. It’s okay. I’m not mad, I promise. Come now, dry your tears.”
I continued to sob and he sighed and held me out by my shoulders.
“I need you to breathe, and I need you to think, ninita. Have I ever once indicated that I would love you any less? For anything?”
I shook my head no. He folded me back into his arms.
“Then why, bebita, is this any different?” You’re still my bebe niña. My little girl. So enough with the tears,” he used the sleeve of his jacket to dab at my face. “Bebita, what can I do to prove to you I love you? Talk to Papi.”
“You promise you’re not mad?” I asked as the tears slowed. I put my head on his chest and felt him sigh.
“I promise I am not mad, Bebita.” He squeezed me tighter. “How about this? You sit in here and do your homework and I’ll go back to work. When I’m finished we can go out to dinner and you can tell me all about her, okay conejito?”
His little bunny. I smiled at my childhood nickname and nodded. “Sounds good, Papi.”
“Good. Now do your homework, I’ll let Uncle Vox know I’m checking it tonight. So do your best work.” He gave me a gentle nudge towards his desk. “And stay out of the bottom left drawer.”
As I settled down in his oversized chair, I married my pencil across the paper. Relief and excitement washed over me. It had been forever since we had spent time together. I couldn’t wait to tell him all about her.
#the vees#hazbin fluff#valentino x you#valentino#the vees x reader#valentino hazbin hotel#valentino x reader#hazbin hotel#vox x reader#hazbin hotel valentino#valentino x female reader
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
why am i sad!!!!!!! where did it come from!!!!!!!!
#ok i know WHY im sad but like bitch we were just vibing hello????#depression go away im just chilling leave me be#i don't wanna be sad rn!!!!!!#fuck being sad!!!!!!!!!!#i know like i need to feel it but UGH#i also need to send a message i really don't wanna send to my family :'))))#nothing like bad or life altering but i know they're gonna wanna talk to me about it and i Don't Wanna Talk About It With Them rn#so#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggghhhhhhhh#especially 2 of my sisters cus one is the one who is closest to me#and she or her gf are likely going to bring it up after i say it bc they. idk.#they CARE and ik they do but especially her gf can be very prying about things i don't wanna talk about until she gets answers#and my other sister is the only one who has any hint about what im talking about bc i told her not to ask a while ago#but the thing is she DID ask like a month later despite me explicitly asking her not to bring it up 🙃#so i can't imagine she will respect it this time either#which is largely why i waited until i saw her for the month before sending it#SIGHHHHH i really should just get it over with#alas. i am just here to rant.#this is fine#i don't have any ice cream that SUCKS i should order some#this is an ice cream occasion#shh ac
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
something i don't see people talking about is the way hyperfixations come in like stages and cycles like it's not just "i'm obsessed with this thing" it's like. euphoria from finding something new and it brings you so much joy and then as that initial dopamine rush wears off you start to get more and more down and feel isolated as you start to realise that no one else cares about it as much as you do and you feel silly for being so into it and the thoughts become repetitive and boring so you get more and more depressed and lonely and then you inevitably lose the hyperfix which leaves you drifting feeling miserable and hopeless until you start the cycle again. idk if i explained this well or if other people will understand but it brings genuine phases of euphoria and straight up depression and this is why i get annoyed when neurotypicals use words like hyperfixation to describe like, an interest. bc it's not. just an interest it becomes who you are and when you lose it it's like losing yourself and you spend so much energy thinking about it that it interrupts your daily life and it's so fucking draining 👍
#like if i see one more nt being like hyperfixation this hyperfixation that SHUT UP!! YOU HAVE AN INTEREST#talk to me when you stay up until 6am every night bc you can't fucking sleep bc ur thinking about it.#talk to me when you can't process emotions in a normal healthy way because you can only relate it back to your hyperfix#paired w madd especially it's IMPOSSIBLE to be normal about shit i swear 2 god because the second i'm upset or lonely it's straight back to#immersing myself in another world and being someone else and not facing my emotions instead letting 'someone else' deal with them#not just negative emotions yk it's anything it's fully immersive to the point i end up not knowing exactly who i am myself bc i'm rarely#myself in my head yk#and it's so isolating#and this is why i get mad when people use these terms lightly bc they don't fucking get it#oh you're hyperfixated? oh you're delusional? you're delulu? watch this#< guy who has delusions that all of his friends secretly hate him bc he's too insane abt xyz media and who feels alone bc no one else is as#into it even though it wouldn't be reasonable to expect them to be#like i'm constantly questioning whether all my friends are secretly against me & finding me annoying anytime i talk about it but it's fine#it's so fucking isolating#i'm not losing my hyperfix yet thank god but i am in the stage of like realisation where the initial euphoria has worn off and i'm like#fuck no one else gets it. no one else is thinking about it like i am. and it's so lonely#< like not to sound like 'i'm 14 and no one gets me' or i'm not like other girls or whatever 😭#it's not me being dramatic i genuinely. know that no one else is spending every waking moment thinking about the things i am the way i do#and it's so incredibly depressing i can't even explain it in a way that will make sense#because i want to talk about it so fucking bad and i can't. even to my friends and gf who always listen i end up feeling annoying#and then i get genuinely delusional not like tiktok girl voice delulu like i genuinely start questioning my entire reality#just if i talk about something a little too much#bc i'm convinced i'm fucking annoying and no one gets it and they're thinking bad things about me#but i know they wouldn't. but it feels like they are#idk#anyways !
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's actually really funny how it is bc despite being an insane person with weird kinks whenever I see someone with kinks I DON'T share I'm instantly thrown off by it. Which is comedic to me bc you'd expect the freak to inherently Understand other freaks but no unfortunately that's not how it works necessarily.
#luly talks#i am way more open to shit when explained to me tho#like usually I'm outright Neutral about this like ok sure.#but there's things that outright are so confusing to me they turn me off#like i saw some mommy rp blog and she was just... acting like a mother#and it's like. super sweet of course! but... not turning me on? at all??#like i don't get why you'd want a 2 in 1 deal for a mother and a gf can't you just get the two things per separate?#and this is coming from a man with severe mommy issues too! I'm a man who lost 3 mother figures (maybe 4 even. prob more)#yet i just don't get it? like. i don't know.#like i dont get it when it's so Genuine ykwim? like sexy mommy daddy age gap shit i do get. i love older people carnally.#but when it is a real intention to have this person fulfill the gap your parents left (I'd have said hole goddamn it that'd have been funnie#r) it's like. do. do you know how hard this can backfire? like i feel it's only more harmful. like idk#like i am no one to say it i am as explicitly stated a certified freak but i really think some people should stop fucking and take an hour#off to go to therapy. just a thought.#like i have my psychological issues mirror into my kinks too I've thought of this deeply (not the cannibalism that's simply me being hungry#although i did make a huge post about hunger but i DIGRESS) but i feel it's different#maybe it's bc im autistic and aro Who Knows maybe this is about intricate social and romantic rituals i just dont get in general
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
seems like my heart does nothing but break lately
#oh my god dont read the tags. it breaks for everyone :( but on a more personal level#for my gf whos sinking deeper into something n i cant even help bc im a wreck myself but i am so so scared to lose her#still havent even been able to book a psych appointment n i rlly dont know where to go with all these ..em*tions#Guys i rlly dont understand one thing. how come one random freak whos in ur life at some point can derail a whole person like eons later#jeopardise their whole future just by crossing some lines for funz i really dont understand this#not fair not fair at all this is evil#and becasue u got unlucky someone wanted to be disgusting u have to carry the consequences#i rly still cant even say it i still cant even write it#i dont even know how . irl the only perosn i told in some capacity#is dealing with her own trauma and i hate that jsut being understanding is not enoughlike#Wow Lmao Its just Funny How it Shapes You. & U Can Never bury it forever becuz it will always catch up to you😂😂😂😂😂😂#AND THE PAST CAN NEVER BE ERASED 😃😃😁😁😂😂😂🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔪🔪#at least my gf has been taking steps to deal with it for.3 yrs and i just never even#LOL i feel like such a coward but the sh*me and the g**lt associated with the Thing..r so overwhelming i cant even admit it#what would i even do at the psych appointment like straight up what am i gonna say Lol#hai iam here to process something i dont actually remember probably becasue i was a child but imnot sure. n id rather#kms than tell u how i know 😂. So thats also why my heart breaks. for that little girl who was a ball of shame i guess and no matter#how much i cognitively.like rationally know its not my fault the ball of shame n guilt is still there#n it swallows me every time i vaguely start 2 think about acknowledging the Th*ng#or whatever. And thats just my end of the deal but my gf has it worse genuinely bc she remembers everything n still has to see the freak#n it went on for yrs n her family doesnt know n heres the worst thing hes a beloved family member a sweet boy with struggles of his own#well i hope he walks into traffic for doing what he did to her
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’ll get better photos later, but Ottie got a funny haircut at the groomer so we have more time to solidify a new home-grooming routine to accommodate for her sudden addition of full body fluff, so we don’t end up with a big mat again :) This will be easier for our adventuring too cos it’s hard to not get her hair in her favorite harness, which weakens the strength of the Velcro, and causes her to get free. She’s easy to catch but we live VERY close to a VERY busy road so I am VERY nervous about her getting loose. Maybe now I won’t need to put her in two harnesses 😅
#they did warn me they can’t make cat cuts aesthetic beforehand bc they’re too wiggly#I do not mind it being choppy and a little silly she is very cute#and soft!#I connected with this groomer through our new vet who we love#they said she’s the only one who can make fear aggressive dogs feel safe during grooming in all the right ways#she has a fear aggressive dog herself is I assume why#everyone who works at the vet office was raving about her skill in terms of dog cuts#I’m considering getting Arlo comfy with her if possible but she doesn’t really have a good set up for keeping him separate#but given what they said about her and her own dogs maybe she does have certain workarounds for Arlo dogs that I don’t know about#like maybe she does them after hours or something idk#I just really struggle with Arlo’s butt fur#Ottilie#catblr#my gf spells ottie like oddie and it secretly bothers me but it’s so inconsequential I can’t bring myself to correct it 😂#so I’m telling yall instead
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mike verbally confirming that bc it's Will's pov we just aren't seeing mike looking at him. He looks at him, oh, he looks at him all the time, he notices everything about Will. That he's moping that he's rolling his eyes that he wasn't talking (that he was ignoring him) and that ruined his entire day. He looks at Will, Will just doesn't see him. So we don't either.
#lack of mike pov literally going to put me six feet under#st5 i am waiting PATIENTLY#because will's an unreliable narrator we are missing key parts of mike as a whole character which is WHY he seems so shallow#ruined his entire day*#*said after his gf was publicly harassed#mike let me inside ur head i swear i will clean up after im done#mike wheeler#byler#byeler#will byers#stranger things#mike wheeler is gay#i love slowburns except when i dont#quite literally exactly like that time i read an extreme slowburn & when i finished it there was only one chapter left to be uploaded-#-and the main character STILL HADNT SAID I LOVE YOU#YOU CANNOT IMAGINE HOW FRUSTRATED I WAS BC THEY STARTED OUT ALREADY IN LOVE THEY WERE JUST TORTURED FOR 40 CHAPTERS#have to spend my time inside the head of this dumbass who refused to confess and also somehow is too stupid to see that they love u back#anyway yeah thats what this feels like. like im one chapter away from the end#technically were like 8 chapters from the end but thats irrelevant to my metaphor
115 notes
·
View notes
Text
last post ended up deleting my tags so im continuing them here
#but.#even after all the time i had aparti still went back at 16#i traveled across the country just to see her again#and it fucking sucked#she ripped that wound right back open#which . felt so weird because she WANTED me to come#she made all the plans#honestly the train trip there was nice#i got to experience a lot of cool things#but the second i got there. it was . one of the worst times of my life#just nonstop#and now ive finally been away for awhile again#but i still miss her#& i dont know why#but it also doesnt help the only gf i have ever had did the same type of thing LMAO//.... i .. i just cannot win#maybe it's just my roll#say all these nice things n then immediately flip#she would make me hang out w her friends n talk me up n then. cheat on me with them with me there#& then get upset when i cried or tried to break up w her LMAO...#like. she wasnt poly or anything she was actually against it#but the worst part is how openly & loudly she'd love me right before it. so now i never know who is telling the truth. i never feel safe#but anyway. again. i stayed#over n over again id try to break up w her but then i loved her & so when she got upset n threaten to kms id flip n stay#n she'd do it again#until eventually she broke up w me n left me so fuckd up im not gonna lie JHVAJH#she still tried to stay friends after that n i tried#but then i started sobbing mid card game & it was very embarrassing top 10 worst things i have done#but i just. all i want is to be a good person. i want to be someone good & loving but i feel like im such a jealous monster#even if i dont let myself show it n try to ignore it bc i dont want to hurt anyone or be this awful it;s still here. just. permeating.#what if i feel too much what if ill never know when someone is genuine what if im just an evil obsessive freak n everyone i love hates me
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Don’t wanna be ‘friends’ (using this term extremely loosely) with this one girl i’m in the same cohort/course with…her belief system + the way she perceives other people and the world is so…i cannot think of a better word so: SHUDDERING. but she’s friends with my circle of cohort/friends so she’ll always be in my circle…?
#she cheated with her ex when her ex already had a new girlfriend and she didn’t feel any remorse at all#she justified her cheating by saying sex is just sex w/her ex & that she wanted her ex’s gf (which she hasn’t even met or known) to feel the#(same things she did hurt; betrayed; cheated on) and i’m like. you’re a fucking cheater? that’s so horrible for you to do?#you don’t even know this girl? she came to be with ur ex in an appropriate way? wdym she deserves to be cheated on because you did…#BY ANOTHER MAN? not even this specific ex?#literally so insane. and she’s like: im going to therapy blah blah blah but clearly you lack the respect and consciousness#me and my friend who listened to her said that she should confess that they cheated with each other to the poor girl but she’s like…#‘not my business’ uhm the fuck it is? you were a third party. and saying that the boy should be the one confessing…uhm WHY NOT U BOTH?#and their relationship (ex and girl) CONTINUED even after the fact and they broke up only recently (early march) and idk if the girl knew#like. truly. i’ve never met someone so incredibly…vile? i guess? what’s a better word for it 😭#and what’s also so inappropriate about her is that she has like a bf and she keeps droning on about her ex like rent free in her mind#keeps flirting w other men; looking at them and saying she has crushes and all that and want to make a move. like. YOU HAVE A BF?#i don’t wanna be near someone like that. and what’s unfortunate is my close friend is close with her so i’m a ‘friend’ BY association#and that friend of mine also can’t disentangle herself from her bec she’s her first ever friend in uni lmao. so there’s sentimentality there#& we talked abt this w each other; how disappointing it was for her to be like that. and how my friend feels she’s complacent in being okay#with cheating (but she’s not) and i’m like…ugh.#probably one of the worst people i’ve ever met i’m so sorry to say that genuinely. when i’m with her in a grp (i NEVER hang out w her alone)#i feel like my principles r being hijacked and violated and being engulfed by something i’ve kept myself away from lol
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
fucking DYING i have decided i’m committing to the bit of making a bunch of xmas cookies for a SMALL holiday party some friends having this week and i’ve picked three and collectively here are my restrictions: gluten-free, no pepper, no caffeine, no dairy, maybe no eggs, no alcohol, no chocolate, vegan
#yeah everyones gay why do you ask?#a lot of the allergens just make it default but the people who are vegan arent actually allergic#the caffeine thing stresses me out bc i feel like i might just sweat coffee therefore making me as the baker semi poisonous#alcohol comes up bc there's a lot of rum-flavored recipes and a ton of things with fillings have wine or brandy or baileys#i think eggs are ok if baked into stuff actually. but i probs wouldnt make anything custard based to be safe#pepper is only semi relevant here bc i think the person with this allergy might end up having some if their housemates bring it. this one#is less limiting in baking bc i really liked spiced desserts but i feel like those are less popular with my friends#i made these chocolate cayenne cookies a few years back. they were fun and they kinda stung#anyway really ive just settled on no chocolate no alcohol as the default#and making one recipe vegan and GF#bc like fuck it's expensive esp with making frosting and stuff and having to use vegan butter and egg replacement and fancy flour#wait no there is one chocolate one nvm. it's red velvet bc i like red velvet. i've discovered you can make it genuinely red if you flavor#it with red wine! but i will not do that here
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
thoseve yall who were here a year ago might remember that a year ago He was liking tweets like "idk how people can cheat when im in love im obsessed😍" and "the honeymoon stage rlly doesnt die if youre with the right person🥰" and he was liking stuff like that up till recently now shit like this is in his likes something is BROKEN in him
#i feel bad. i dont even mean it in a conceited way but i cant help but feel like a bit of this is my fault#hes so bright eyed and ambitious that the idea of him losing any of that idealism is nothing short of a goddamned tragedy im sorry#yes this is the guy who lead me on (unintentionally???) and flirted with me for a year despite seeing TWO people during that time#the latter of which became his girlfriend (who i told Everything to ...)#and like. he never apologized he never explained what was going on or why he acted like a fucking simp for a year#but basically we're not talking now and we're on bad terms and angry at each other#(me because. well yall were there for that . hes angry because i ratted his flirty ass out )#god that all stings so bad i havent talked about the details of what happened to anyone......#but yeah i just. even still after all this time i hope he stays bright eyed. the idea that he wouldnt is heartbreaking in and of itself.#that one crush situation lol#idk if theyre still together. it was early novembet i reached out to his gf and laid the whole thing out for her#& she said theyd 'take it from here' (??????) and was uncomfortable with me and him communicating with the knowledge that THAT ALL happened#even while they were together. i told her i could respect that (even though i wanted to ask her who the FUCK she thought she was. anyways)#and then i reached out to him one last time to clarify i wasnt dredging it up for retaliation or to break them up but bc she genuinely#deserved to know. then he sorta said fuck my feelings and then reiterated what his gf said that we shouldnt be talking anymore#its been radio silence since then from bothve them. if they did break up id feel bad (cause how COULDNT i?) but if they didnt.#that means the only factor that changed here was. well. his 'relationship'/chances of a relationship/flirtationship/friendship with me.#i dunno. im not gonna act like i have all the facts and im not gonna act like he hasnt screwed me over#but getting back to my main point. imagine knowing him and watching him lose his idealism. try not being heartbroken over that.
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
ugh i feel so self conscious and paranoid bc of something that happened if sasha doesn’t win tonight i’m actually gonna stab my self or something i swear
#txt#like .. my gf was ignoring me all of fourth period today. the only class we have together#and during lunch she still jsut seemed . so uninterested? i guess? and didn’t seem to care abt anything i said#she just talked to her other friends the whole time during both class and lunch and it just makes me feel like. idk.#did she realize she doesn’t actually want to be with me? did i do something wrong? do her friends not like me??#j don’t know because her friends in fourth period haven’t ever really spoken to me but it’s like. idk. because i feel like a lot of people#in that class don’t like me. like i feel like a self centered bitch for saying it but i’m like#one of the only people who try in that class. yknow. do they hate me because of that? is it because i’m bad at talking to people?#is it because i’m very obviously queer? is it becuase i’m always either too quiet or too loud? is it because i’m fat? is it because#yeah.#i don’t know and she just hasn’t said anything fo me about plans or anything since she asked me out did she realize i’m going to be#so bad at being ina relationship. like this would be the first real actual thing and it’s just so hard for me to understand if#i did something wrong#and i’m worried becuase she did just get out of a bad situationship where they were fwb#and i don’t know if i’m ready for that yet. but she is because she already has and i don’t know how to feel abt that.#i just don’t understand why she asked me out is she gonna reveal in a week it was just a joke and i’m dumb for believing it#i don’t know i’m scared
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Somehow everything that's gone pear shaped ATM is linked back to it being my fault and I'm realising holy shit I really need to be better
#he speaks#kinda a vent post#i feel like im fucking up all my relationships cause im a pushover and i have to make things easier for strangers/acquaintances#rather than people i genuinely love#i think my view of people and friendships is fucked#i cannot tell who actually likes me#and after one shakey moment im like OK FUCK YOU NOW HATE ME FOREVER#which i know makes me sound like a whiney lil bitch#and its hard to communicate that to people cause i know if i dont choose my words VERY carefully it can come off as manipulative#so i just... dont tell people?#i act like everybody's friend cause that's what i want my role to be#but i actually dont think i can tell who actually loves me#unless its REAL obvious and then its only temporary until even the slightest thing happens#idk why it is that way#or how to fix it#but i need to#i need to fix it#my gf is mad atm and im like 90% sure it's at a few people and an overall situation#but im terrified that shes mad at me#not cause she'll do anything#just cause in my head people dont get mad at their friends#(WHICH I KNOW ISNT TRUE)#idfk guys my brain is just fucked#i need to sleep or something
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Whenever I write something that involves strangers to lovers trope, no matter the plot, I always end up making one character who feels like their only worth in a relationship is sex and the other character stops them and is the first partner who wants to get to know them before having sex. I’m an entire virgin. I have never had sex or have been in a relationship. Writing is putting your feelings and experiences into a story. And my stories always end in this trope and I don’t know what it could possibly mean? It’s never in the original plot I just end up at that trope somehow. It’s unconscious. What does that mean????
#maybe it’s that I feel like I only have one redeeming quality??#but I feel like that’s too obvious and also I can’t think of a characteristic#probably has to do a bit with my trust issues and how I’d rather die than open up#that’s where the part of one character only contributing sex#honestly I think it’s what I want in a relationship which is so unhealthy#like I’m the sex character and I want a gf who is the character who doesn’t want sex#I want to be in a relationship where I’m valued for everything about me????#maybe it’s that but I feel like that’s not an insecurity I have#maybe unconsciously?#it probably has to do with wanting a future gf who is a knight in shining armor that’s probably it#a gf who is perfect in every way I feel I’m not#fuck that’s it#there we go#that’s why#I’ve been in therapy for 12 years#rae’s rambles#delete later
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
sal isn't some kind of stereotypical emo boy band rockstar he doesn't drink canonically and i doubt he does hard drugs either thanks and goodbye
#sal fisher#sally face#just saw fanart of him next to an almost empty bottle of whiskey..#does your aesthetic and aus not care about his trauma with his dad drinking and his promise to never drink like he did#this is why i feel like me and my gf are the only ones who actually care about and understand sal#like this isn't me being a stickler for canon over fanon this is actually giving a shit about his character; traits; trauma; and coding#ive also seen a fic where he does coke and like.. *takes him away from you*#if you cant treat him nicely then you dont get to have him to project onto i feel#if u get mad at me for this ur a loser
3 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
acmetom
acmetom
nymphie111
nymphie
dunkinbublin
in the house like carpet
ericthebond
Don't go chasing Bloggingfalls