#this is the kind of stuff i studied in college so forgive the special interest | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hermannsthumb · 3 years

Note

possible prompt for a university au: newt is the biology major who maintains all the fish tanks in the physics building at 11pm and hermann is the physics student who likes to wander the halls to think. newt accidentally flings water all over the ground and hermann trips, hijinks ensue.

earlier today I was thinking about how I wrote a college AU fic almost 3 years ago to the date, and how I wanted to do more bc its fun thinking about newt and hermann as dumb college students

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Newt's not really sure how he ended up with the weirdest work-study job on the planet, but honestly, things could be much, much worse (he could be stuck down in the dining hall, or dealing with confused freshmen in the school bookstore) so he keeps his thoughts on the whole thing to himself. Every Friday at eleven sharp, Newt pulls on his grodiest t-shirt and a pair of long rubber gloves and treks all the way over to the physics department to set to work scrubbing down the fish tanks that line the classroom walls. Why does the physics department have fish tanks? Newt's not really sure about that, either. It's kind of an insane amount of them, too, more than even the marine bio department has. Maybe it's supposed to boost morale or something. Hey, look at these crazy cool tropical fish who get to do nothing but eat and swim in circles, sorry you're stuck inside calculating velocity and shit.

Whatever, Newt's not complaining about that either. Let the physics nerds have their fun. It'll be good for them to branch out a little, realize there's life beyond robotics club meetings.

Also, Newt likes the fish. They're cute. He likes to think they like him, too, because they're very well behaved when he has to scoop them out of their tanks and plop them into smaller fish bowls (the kind goldfish in movies always use). He's going to teach them tricks eventually—he had a beta fish once who would do a little flip when Newt tapped the glass a certain way because he knew he'd get rewarded with dried worms, so Newt knows it's possible. Just imagine, a hundred fish doing flips on command. Newt Geiszler, fish whisperer.

Yeah, maybe the job could be more glamorous. It's really hard to get algae out of the gloves, and he hasn't been allotted the budget for a new pair yet.

"Hey, guys!" he shouts as he pushes in the door to room 214. The fish don't acknowledge him: they just continue swimming in their giant tank. In and out of plastic plants and rock caves. The rock caves were a gift from Newt three months into the job, and so were some of the moss balls—stimulation is important for fish! He wouldn't want to be trapped in a glass box with nothing to do, either. "I bet you missed me. Ready for a clean tank?"

Newt always talks to the fish, even if they don't talk back, because he thinks it's important to build their trust. He'll usually keep a running commentary of his week as he scrubs the tanks, just get everything off his chest that he needs to get off. Stuff he's worried about. Stuff that went well. Stuff that went badly. Therapy's expensive, and Newt's student health insurance can only cover so much, but talking to fish? That's free.

That's also kinda why he does it so late at night and over the weekend. The last thing he wants is an audience. Because, one, talking to fish is admittedly weird, and two, no one wants a glimpse at Newt's psyche like that, probably not even the fish.

The first step in cleaning the tanks is relocation. Newt digs his stereotypical goldfish bowls and an industrial-size mesh wand out of the supply closet, fills the former with some of the special tank salt water, and begins the slow and arduous task of scooping out the fish and depositing them into the bowls. "I had the lamest week," he announces once he's about three clownfish in. "I was working on a group project Saturday—"

Then Newt stops, because he hears footsteps in the hallway just outside the classroom.

Serial killer, Newt's instincts supply helpfully.

No, Newt corrects himself, that's dumb. Why would a serial killer wander into the physics building at eleven o'clock at night? Why would anyone, period? He's probably imagining stuff. Lack of sleep, stress over his upcoming projects, residual embarrassment from his disaster study session Saturday, all of it culminating in Newt thinking there's someone there. No, definitely imagining it. Newt can only even get in this late to the department because his ID swipe card is set up with the right permissions—not even the physics students have the permissions he does to be in this late at night. Well, not unless they clean the kitchenette in the student lounge or something.

Or if Newt left the door unlocked.

More footsteps. Closer now.

Newt's pretty sure he didn't leave the door unlocked, because he thinks it locks automatically behind him, and he would have to literally prop it open for anyone to get in after him. But anything's possible. The door could've caught on a dropped pencil or a paper scrap or other weird shit that physics students leave around, and a serial killer could've noticed and taken the opportunity to sneak inside on the off chance a hapless young biology major was scrubbing slime off fish tanks in the middle of the night. Any minute now, Newt's about to end up on an episode of Unsolved Mysteries. The Physics Department Murder. The Disappearing Biologist. (Nah, neither of those are very good titles, but that's why Newt isn't on the creative writing track.)

Step-tap-step. Closer now; Newt's heart leaps to his throat. Step-tap-step. Step-tap-step. Pausing just outside the door of room 214. God, why didn't Newt turn the lights off? Why didn't he shut the door?

Newt reaches for the first vaguely weapon-shaped thing he can find—an empty fishbowl, because Newt's not going to sacrifice any of the fish for this—and, as the door swings open, hurls it with a cry.

The bowl clunks on the ground. Except it turns out Newt grabbed the wrong fish bowl, because (even though it doesn't shatter, thank God) water quickly begins to seep across the slate floor tiles towards Newt's serial killer, a pathetic little clownfish (Newt thinks this one is named Albert, because the physics department is made up of nerds who do shit like name their random pet fish after their kind) flopping around in the puddle. Newt's serial killer, meanwhile, cries out similarly, his arms windmilling as he loses his footing and slips backwards, his cane—

Oh, fuck.

The intruder is not a serial killer. It's someone possibly worse, actually: Newt's mortal enemy, Hermann Gottlieb.

Newt's not really sure at what point Hermann became his mortal enemy and not just some guy I have class with that I hate, but he can pretty easily say that they've hated each other since the moment Hermann walked through the doors of Engineering 101 and was deigned Newt's lab partner by the Alphabetized By Last Name Seating Chart god. Something about Hermann just gets under Newt's skin. It's not his prissy English accent, or his oversized sweaters, or his absolutely horrendous haircut, and it's not even that he takes every opportunity to savagely rip apart every single thing Newt says in class. Don't get Newt wrong, that's all super fucking annoying, but it's annoying levels he can deal with.

It's the stuff they have in common that makes Newt hate him. It's like Hermann's a slightly broodier and more angular mirror that reflects all of Newt's most egregious faults—his arrogance, his stubbornness, his social awkwardness, his desperation to be taken seriously—right back at him. It sucks.

Plus, one time Newt caught Hermann ripping down the flyer he put up on the quad for Anime Club to advertise his stupid chess club instead, and he's never managed to forgive him for that.

Newt may hate Hermann, but he's not about to let him land on his ass in a puddle of fishy water (especially not on a freezing November night) just because the subsequent bitching would be unbearable, and, yeah, it would be supremely shitty of Newt, so he leaps forward just in time to catch Hermann and his cane before he hits the ground. He's so impressed with himself with his amazing catch that it takes him a few seconds to realize that Hermann is shouting and probably has been shouting since he slipped.

"—bloody maniac! What on earth are you doing in here? How are you in here? Did you just assault me? I'm going to phone campus police, you wretched—"

"Hold that thought," Newt says.

He rights Hermann and snags the mesh net and rescues poor Al before it's too late, dropping him back into the big tank with the rest of his friends. Newt can't be sure, but he thinks Al blows a bubble in thanks at him. Maybe he needs to make friends outside fish.

Hermann is still yelling at him.

"I am going to tell the head of the department you're—you're skulking about in here after hours!" he declares. "You're a menace. Pay attention to what I'm saying to you, Newton!"

Newt sighs and turns around. Hermann's turned an interesting shade of red—sort of like an over-boiled lobster, or if he fell asleep in the sun for too long. Newt wonders if it's from embarrassment (almost falling on his ass) or anger (almost being knocked on his ass). Probably anger. "Look, dude, I'm sorry," Newt says. His face twists like he ate a lemon, and he hopes Hermann doesn't notice. Newt hates apologizing to Hermann. "It's my job to clean the tanks every weekend. You scared the shit out of me and I freaked out—it's just that, like, no one ever comes by this late. Ever." He decides not to mention the serial killer thing. Hermann might make fun of him for being jumpy or paranoid or something.

Hermann's scowl doesn't lessen, but he does nod. Plus, he stops shouting. That's as much as Newt's gonna get of forgiveness. "Hmph," Hermann says. "You clean the tanks?"

"Every weekend," Newt repeats. He realizes he got some fish tank slime on Hermann's button-up when he caught him. Oops. Hopefully Hermann won't notice until Newt's in the safety of his dorm. "Gotta pay for my textbooks somehow." Then he frowns. "Wait, so what are you doing here? I didn't know you had access to the building this late."

Maybe Hermann is the kitchenette-cleaning guy after all. But, to his surprise, Hermann sniffs and casts his eyes to his dorky Oxford shoes. "Er," he says. "It's just—I was having trouble working out a solution to a problem, and thought a walk might do me good. Chilly nights like this one always do. And I quite like this building at night—it's calm, and much quieter than my dormitory." He fidgets. "And—well—only don't say anything to anyone, but I rewrote the permissions of my ID card so I could come and go wherever I please ages ago."

"You rewrote the permissions?" Newt says. "What the hell, wouldn't you have to hack into the security system or something to do that?"

"Well, obviously," Hermann says.

Despite himself, and despite Hermann being his Mortal Enemy, Newt is genuinely impressed. "Dude," he says. "That is so badass." Since when has Hermann been a badass?

Hermann's eyebrows jump, and he blinks at Newt behind his dorky librarian glasses. What twenty-one-year-old wears librarian glasses? With a chain? "You think so?" he says.

"Uh, totally," Newt says. "What problem were you stuck on? The one from Saturday?"

Being lab partners for engineering means Newt and Hermann have to collaborate on pretty much everything, including their midterms. Their midterm is what they've been working on for the past two weeks. On Saturday, though, they met in neutral ground to work on it (a reserved study room in the library), and, after a stupid and massive argument that had the librarians hoisting them out by their shirt collars and threatening to ban them for life, Hermann called Newt an idiot and stomped off into the night. Newt still hasn't gotten around to giving the problem another shot. Whatever, they have another week before the dumb thing is due. Plenty of time. Hermann nods. "Yes," he says. "Er—that one."

Newt glances at the clock ticking away on the wall. Quarter after eleven. Hermann's delayed him a whole fifteen minutes. Technically, he reminds himself, he doesn't actually have to have the tanks scrubbed by Friday night—he has the whole weekend to get it done. Also, he kind of feels like he owes Hermann for attacking him the way he did. Accidentally attacking. "Listen, Hermann," he says, feeling totally insane for what he's about to suggest. But he kind of wants to know more about Hermann The Badass. "What if we went back to my place and worked on it together? I'll buy us pizza, and I have, like, a bunch of energy drinks." The pizza place nearest campus is open until three in the morning, almost definitely because they get all of their business from sleep-deprived undergrads. Plus, they have midnight specials where you get free breadsticks with every pizza. Newt could go for some breadsticks. "It might be...fun," he adds.

Fun? With Hermann? Hermann will think he hit his head or something.

But to his surprise, Hermann doesn't hesitate even a second before saying "Alright, then."

"Oh," Newt says. He honestly thought Hermann would put up more of a struggle. "Cool!"

"But I might need to borrow a jumper," Hermann says. "If you'd be so...courteous, that is. I'm a bit chilly."

For some reason, the thought of Hermann (Newt's mortal enemy, but also a secret badass) curled up in one of Newt's baggy sweatshirts makes Newt feel all weird and warm all over. He swallows a few times, because his throat feels a little weird, too. Too tight. Like he just ate something he's allergic to. "No sweat," Newt says. "Let me just get these fish back in the, um, the tank. And—" He waves his slimy, gloved hands. "Take these off. And clean up that puddle. Gimme—um, gimme like, ten minutes?"

"Of course," Hermann says, and gives Newt a small, terse nod.

From Hermann, it's a smile. Newt almost slips on the puddle he's so blindsided by it. Stupid Hermann, making him feel all weird and clumsy.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #Anonymous

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multmilk · 4 years

Text

summary: just tae as a college student and plant mom on the side. also slow burn & sexy times :)

genre: smut & fluff !!

warnings: um dirty talk? bit of curse words? smut lol

au/prompt: college!au, bestfriendtolovers!au

word count: 2818

not proofread, sorry!! wrote this in one seating hehehehe

i think Taehyung would be the kind of guy who’d wanna purse arts and/or fashion but he’d go for something a little more prAcTIcaL

introducing, Kim Taehyung of Daegu, 24, major in business

he’d want his own business someday, just not quite sure what it’d be

anyways, even being a sophomore at college, he’d have girls and boys feigning over him because he’s just famous for a lot things

one of which is his looks

another being the cute barista at your local café

and the one who sings at bars every weekend

he’s just very popular and everyone adored him

but he isn’t the f boy type of popular, though many people did want to sleep with him, he just politely declines them

not saying he doesn’t get action though noPE he’d have sex occasionally when his schedule allows him to

fast forward to monday, a day where college students doze off and attend class 6 hours late

Taehyung was always punctual and early but today’s an exception

he fell asleep doing equations and maths on his table and well his classes start at 9 am but he woke up around noon

Taehyung doesn’t even bother to change clothes nor brush his teeth, he just zoops out of his apartment and rushes toward campus

he’s still sleep deprived from all the work load and late night shifts but his adrenaline’s too much that he reaches the campus in 10 minutes when it usually takes him a good 20 minutes

he just keeps on running and just as he was about to approach the door to 34A (where mr. jung teaches philosophy,, his minor) the door completely smacks him in the face

he clutches his nose that was hit and was about to curse the person who accidentally hit him but when he sees who hit him

his brain just goes @/$;2($:&sk;L3

LIKE WOW???

hair blowing in the wind, light focusing on her figure, flowy dress lightly being blown by the wind and worry etched into her features

“oh my gosh, i’m so so sorry !!” even her voice sounds like an angel

Taehyung says “it’s fine” then acts all cool and stuff and she smiles at him

AND WHEN HE WAS ABOUT TO ASK FOR HER NAME SHE JUST WOOSHES AND he’s left there looking at her disappearing figure

aaaand that’s where you come in thought that the angel-like girl was you? haH

you see taehyung still clutching his nose and staring off to space so you smack his back and he yelps in pain

“Y/N!!!!”

“TAEHYUNG !!!” you mimick but then you quickly apologize seeing that he was in a bad mood

you fix his hair and ask what happened

you two walk to the cafeteria as he tells you everything that happened

including the oh-so-beautiful girl that accidentally hit his face

“i wanna date her. she’s made my heart race so much. that’s very rare,”

you look at him like ????? like bro you’ve just met her and you’re IN L OV E

what about me? you think. i’ve been with you all these years and you never even consider looking at me like that.

but you don’t say that. of course you don’t. that’s just too selfish.

so you hype him up and tell him you’d ask around for the girl’s name and Taehyung hopefully finds her to get her number

fast forward and you and Taehyung goes home. you two have no work today, just some lectures to catch up to

you set up the microwave to heat the fried chicken you bought home and Taehyung attend to his plants

yes he is a plant mom™️ like he sings and hums classical tunes while he waters the plants and letting out little praises and encouragements

he’s just overall a proud mom of his plants tbh

anyways you and Taehyung work on your school stuff until you felt your body growing tired and found yourself laying down on his lap

the view like this is ✨majestic✨his hair was loose and he had a headband to keep the bangs off of his face

his jaw was locked in concentration as he tries to make the numbers MAKE SENSE

not to mention how your face is just millimeters away from his crotch akskakd

but you’re wholesome so you ignore the pool of arousal that’s in between your legs

“let’s go to sleep Taeee,” you whine but he pays you no mind

so you opt for straddling his lap so that he’d pay attention to you and it worked

“leave me alone please? you could sleep and i’ll wake you up later,” then he smiles at you

gaaaah his smile just aldksofkeoyn he’s soooo friggin’ warm and cuddly and when he smiles he just takes your heart then and there

but you stay perched on his lap and opt to nuzzle your head on the crook of his neck and mumble about sleeping there

he just chuckles and shifts a little bit to feel more comfortable

that night, Taehyung holds you dearly while he finishes his work. if you were awake, you’d probably see the slightest hint of adoration in his eyes whenever he’d stop working and look at you.

of course he loved you, way more than platonic. about half the population falls in love with their best friend anyways right?

but he wasn’t going to confess. he knew you deserve someone better

see, Taehyung, he sees himself as this messy and too emotionally damaged to even fucking function. much less start a relationship with you.

sure you were damaged like him, maybe even more, but he just can’t risk of hurting you and breaking you into pieces. you’ve already lost so much, he doesn’t want to add to that. so he opts for kissing you on the lips, just lightly. light enough so that it doesn’t stir you awake or anything of the like. he lays you down in his bed and bids you goodnight.

you and him started being friends back in the first year of college, you were both 4th year college students now. anyways, you used to visit the coffee shop he works at almost everyday. he’s seen you stress over your finals, seen you hang out with your friends there, also seen you cry when you boyfriend left you.

you’ve always ordered something simple, choosing a black coffee instead of something creamy and milky.

until one day you decide to say, “surprise me,” to Taehyung and he just stares at you confused. then you tell him to give you something different, something he’d recommend to you.

alas Taehyung’s mocha latte was born !1!1!

it was something simple and common as well but it held special meaning to him.

And so you started ordering his mocha latte while you stayed and studied at the coffee shop, eventually forming a friendship with Taehyung.

Anyway back to the present times

come Friday night and you were surprised to find out that Taehyung was going out on a date.

with Seo Soojin

the girl who hit him accidentally on the face

you were surprised with a lot things. first, knowing Taehyung was going out on a date. he wasn’t the type to date and settle down. I mean, of course he’d eventually settle down with a girl but not now. not while he’s in college.

Second, Soojin was actually pretty. In a goddess level, she might just be your girl crush lololol

And lastly, you thought that you had a chance with your gorgeous best friend. You knew he pecked you on the lips while he thought you were sleeping. You were sleeping at one point but you woke up when he lifted you up to place you on the bed. It took all of your willpower to not kiss him back but you were afraid of ruining things, despite the obvious actions he’s made.

But after days of convincing from your other friends, you decided to ask him out.

Yes, girls ask boys out now. it’s the twenty-fucking-first century after all

BUT THE UNIVERSE HAD OTHER PLANS

NOOO fate had to watch your best friend dress up in a nice tux and slick his hair back as he waited for Soojin to text him her address. You had to act all supportive while deep down you knew that him going out with Soojin was hurting you a lot more than you liked.

Now Taehyung,,,,,, he was more than surprised to feel his heart flutter at the appearance of Soojin. She really is pretty but he couldn’t help but think that you would look a lot better.

Their date surprisingly went well but he hoped that he just spent the night with you instead.

He came home to you watering his plants for him and he felt his heart flutter at the sight.

There you were, wearing his grey hoodie and god knows what else underneath

You had your earphones on while you tended to his cacti and various other plants

If he were a murderer you’d be dead, no doubt bout that

So, he hugs you from behind and rest his chin on your shoulder

You ask him about his date, ignoring the pang in your heart when he talks about how good it was

Instead of breaking your heart over the details in their date, you focus on his warm voice that almost made you sleepy tbh

Taehyung didn’t know why he narrated their date with so much enthusiasm. Maybe he wanted to get out a reaction out of you

But you stayed calm and interested with what he was saying, not showing any signs of jealousy or hurt

He goes to take a shower and he was expecting to have a movie night with you but surprised to see that you’ve gone to bed and so he does to

You two don’t sleep well that night

SATURDAAAAAAY and Saturdays mean parties

Meaning, Taehyung and you getting shit faced and the two of you could barely make it back to your apartment alive

But it was no doubt your favorite part of the week

You got dressed up wearing something seductive yet still conservative on the side paired with the comfiest pair of heels you have

When Taehyung saw you all dolled up, he was like :000 DAYUMMMM

But he felt a little overprotective when he thinks about the people who’ll look at your body and all that so he gives you his jacket

Though you tell him it’s too hot and that you could handle yourself if ever something happens

You’re already in the party and Taehyung swears to himself that he’ll keep an eye on you and that if something bad ever happens to you he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself

He sees you out of your comfort zone, dancing around people and gathering attention from lots of people

You’re happy with the attention so you keep on partying

Taehyung was about to go to the bathroom, thinking that you’d be fine since you were just dancing, but then he sees a man talk to you

The man was fucking tall, very smug, very untrustworthy

His lips were too close on your ear and you seem very very uncomfortable

So Taehyung rushes to your side, grips your waist and says,

“Back off. She’s mine.” WITH THAT LOW AND SEXY VOICE OF HIS ASKJJDSK IM LOSING IT

But the guy had the aUDACITY to ignore Taehyung and continues “so, will you spend the night with me sweetcheeks?”

TAEHYUNG GROWLS AT PUSHES THE GUY WITH SO MUCH FORCE

You had to grip his arm and ask him to stop and not make a scene with the smallest voice you have

And just as you two were about to leave, the guy shouts “lucky you, you’ve got a fine piece of ass right there,” and that’s all it takes for Taehyung to throw his fist at the guy

Everyone stopped dancing and focused on the scene unravelling in front of them

Pulling Taehyung back you tell him “that’s enough,” and drag him out of the house

The whole walk home was quiet and the tension was thick

“It’s because of that damn outfit,” he says once you’ve entered your shared apartment

You scoff and bend down to take you heels off and say “It’s not my fault men can’t control their dicks,”

Taehyung looks at you with this animalistic glint in his eye and stalks toward you

“You should’ve been more careful, babygirl,”

His lips attack your neck

You couldn’t move because you were shocked and aroused all at the same time

He sucks at the sweet spot on your neck and it just turned you into a moaning mess

You tug his hair, moan his name

“Jump,” he commands and so you do

He kisses your lip and you kiss him back with more force

Tongues fighting for dominance, teeth clashing, little spills of moans and grunts here and there

“When I saw you in that article you call clothes,” he chuckles “all I could think about was ripping it off of you right there and then,” he kisses your collarbones

“It isn’t the first time too. All the nights you spend snuggled up to me wearing my shirt with no bra on and I could feel your breasts pushed up against me,” he unzips your clothing and lets it fall to floor

·“God fucking dammit Taehyung. Fuck me already,” you say and he looks up at you

A smirk on his lips and eyebrows raised in challenge

He grips your hip and you wrap your legs around him as he carries you to your bedroom

You were slightly expecting him to be just a tad bit gentle but clearly he was in a bad mood so he throws you into the bed and removes both of your clothes quickly

“Suck,” he tells you and moans when your lips wrap around his digit

He brings his fingers to pump his cock a bit and pushes into your cunt without warning

The force got you screeching and clawing at his back

“Fuck, harder,” you mewl and he obliges

He fucks you at an animalistic speed and his eyes bore into yours as he thrusts deeper into you

It doesn’t take long for you to reach your climax and Taehyung’s thumb rubs your clit until you were coming

And he’s coming to and as much as you want him to finish inside of you, you knew that that wasn’t safe so he pulls out and cums on your tummy

He helps you scoot over and lays beside you

“I’m in love with you and this is probably the worst timing ever but I just want to say that I loved you for a long time and even if you don’t like me back, I’ll keep on loving you and-“ he rambles

But you cut him off with a sweet and slow kiss

“I’m in love with you too, Tae. Have been for a long time,” and you look at him

The moonlight from the window doing wonders to his face

His lips turn into a small smile and kisses you again

And again

“Do you know why I made you a mocha latte on that day?” he quietly speaks as he tangles your bodies together

“Ooooh that’s a question I’ve been dying to ask for a long time. Tell me. tell me,” you pipe

He breathes before saying, “you know how you alternate ordering an americano on bad and normal days and plain milk on warm and good days?” You nod

“Well, a mocha latte is a combination of both with just with added chocolate flavouring and sugar,”

“That’s how you made me feel,” he says and you look at him with question marks in your eyes

He laughs, “Before you, my life was just plain and dull. Kind of like an americano,”

“But then you started visiting the café shop more and everyday it brought me a whole new feeling,”

“Every time you’re sitting at alone, whether it be studying or just reading, it made me feel a lot of things. happiness, curiousity, the whole butterflies in my stomach thing,”

“So think of the sugar and chocolate to be my growing feelings for you and yeah,” he laughs again and this time you laugh with him

“I love you, even though you’re so damn cheesy!”

“I love you too, Y/N. I love you,” and you both smile and hold each other

“I think I’m going to have a coffee shop as my business once I graduate,” he says and you nod

And you two live life happy and healthy 😊) (safe to say the universe’s on your side now)

SO SORRY IF THAT WAS TOOOOO LONG AND NGL I FEEL BAD FOR SOOJIN AND THIS SEEMS SO RUSHED AKJDS ANW HOPE Y’ALL LIKED IT :>

#kim taehyung au #kim taehyung x reader #kim taehyung headcannon #kim taehyung fluff #taehyung smut #taehyung au #taehyung x reader #taehyung fluff #bts au

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thedeaditeslayer · 3 years

Photo

Moonshine, shotguns, buried cash: Bruce Campbell on 'The Evil Dead' in East Tennessee.

There are plenty of structurally sound homes scattered throughout East Tennessee's woods for tourists to enjoy, yet some prefer to visit the ruins of a Morristown cabin. Of course, it's the only cabin in the state once surrounded by demonizing trees and where zombies could be found locked in the cellar. A handful of circumstances led a Michigan film crew to East Tennessee in the late '70s to film the low-budget movie "The Evil Dead." More than 40 years later, the film is till very much alive in horror-enthusiast circles, with a special virtual screening scheduled for Jan. 23. The screening will include behind-the-scenes commentary from producer and actor Bruce Campbell, who recently spoke with Knox News about his time in East Tennessee and what's next for the "Evil Dead" franchise.

Check out our conversation with Campbell and visit bit.ly/WatchwithBruce to purchase tickets, starting at $25.

How'd you end up in East Tennessee?

The crew planned to shoot the film in Michigan, but as delays got longer and the weather got colder, the thought of shooting outdoors in the North sounded less appealing.

"There were plenty of isolated cabins in Michigan that would have done the trick, but we went south," Campbell told Knox News.

The crew connected with folks from Tennessee's film commission, who then connected them with a local to drive them around.

"And we checked out half a dozen different possible places and finally found this creepy-ass place outside of Morristown," Campbell said.

He visited the cabin a few years back, although there's not much left of it.

"But it's private property, you know — 'Stay the hell off,'" Campbell said. "The usual deal (in) Tennessee: Shoot first, ask questions later. I never encourage people to go see it because part of the placed burned down in the '80s, but part of the fireplace still exists."

That hasn't stopped people from showing up at conventions with bricks to show Campbell, as the site has become a tourist destination of sorts.

Was the cabin as scary as it looks?

Fans of "The Evil Dead" might be surprised to learn the cabin was more scary than it appeared on screen.

"It had no power," Campbell said. "It had cow s--- on the floor. We had to knock doors and ceilings out and stuff. There was a lot of work to do. The locals showed up after a thunderstorm and said, 'Hey, have you seen Clara?'"

The story goes that people were once killed in the cabin during a storm, but Clara ran off.

Clara was rumored to come back to the cabin during storms and would have been an old lady at the time of filming "The Evil Dead."

"And so we were waited to see with bated breath if anyone caught out of the corner of their eyes some old woman crawling through the underbrush whose name happened to be Clara," Campbell said.

What was your experience in East TN?

Coming to East Tennessee in 1979 was a "fascinating cultural experience," Campbell said.

"It was all new," he said. "In 1979 you knew Tennessee was not Michigan. ... It changed in Kentucky, and we drove down."

Being that Campbell was a producer, he went to a bank to take out $10,000 in cash that he recalls smelling like dirt. He asked the woman at the bank if he was imagining the smell.

"Oh yeah, people still bury it in their back yard," he recalls her saying.

The crew tried their first moonshine in Tennessee, which they acquired along with marijuana from a local.

"We learned a lot about moonshine," Campbell said. "Too much. Too much."

Why did you decide on horror?

Campbell's early "Super 8" movies were slapstick style — "very 'Jackass'-like," he said.

But that changed after "The Evil Dead" director Sam Raimi, Campbell's high school friend, went off to college.

"He was sort of studying humanities or something and studied like the Sumerian book of the dead," Campbell said. "And that kind of caught his attention."

They knew they wanted to get into the movie industry after high school; they just didn't know what kind of movie to make.

"We sort of thought horror would be pretty safe," he said. "It's cheap, you don't have to have name actors, you can use regular street clothes and cars. Nothing had to be glitzy or fancy. If we did a comedy, you'd have to have John Candy or somebody. But, in this case, you were off the hook. Horror was very forgiving."

Raimi was interested in the subject matter, Campbell said. Once "The Evil Dead" story was selected, he was all in.

"We also thought no holds barred," Campbell said. "This movie is potentially unrated. Let's not pull any punches."

What were some low-budget tricks?

Being that the film was low budget, Campbell said, there were some tricks the crew used to make shots work.

"Every hour of every day on that shoot we were faking it," he said.

The moonshine they couldn't drink went onto the fire just before cameras rolled to make the flames roar.

"So we learned how to do that real cheaply," he said. "We learned to just use a real shotgun with real ammunition. That was just the easiest way to do it. ... The shadow passes over the window, you turn and you blow the window out with the shotgun just standing right there — no safety glasses, no earmuffs, no nothing.

"So simpler times, but stupider times. Hell yeah."

How do you illustrate fear on camera?

Illustrating fear on camera is just like illustrating any other emotion: You fake it, Campbell said.

He remembers someone at a Q&A criticizing his "Evil Dead" performance for being over-the-top.

"Sir, excuse me," Campbell recalls saying. "Can you verify sitting in that chair right now how you would react if your (girlfriend's) eyes turned white and she flew up into the air and got possessed and tried to rip your throat out? Would you react like Clint Eastwood? I would scream like a girl."

Campbell said his performances are "protected" by the fact no one knows how they actually would react. And while many modern films require even more faking, due to computer technology replacing sets, "The Evil Dead" had an advantage.

"You don't see anything anymore," Campbell said. "At least with the first 'Evil Dead,' you're in a real cabin in the middle of nowhere in the Deep South in 1979. I mean, it was weird as --- already.

"So, the nice little edge that 'Evil Dead' gets is it's a little docu-horror once you get deeper into the shoot and we all get a little crazier."

Why have you stuck with the franchise?

One of the reasons Campbell continues to be a part of the franchise is his love for his Ash character.

"He has no skills," he said. "In this case, the guy who saves the world from evil multiple times is — by the time he gets to the TV show, he's doing mescaline, he's drinking his ass off, he smokes reefer constantly. This is my kind of hero."

What will the screening be like?

The virtual watch party and live commentary will be different than what some fans are used to. Campbell will have the ability to stop and start the movie to share his thoughts.

"My problem with commentary always in the past is you see something that triggers it — a stunt or a punch in the face — and you tell about what happened," he said. "But then, you tell that story and you look back and you missed three other stories you could have told if that film hadn't just rolled along."

What's it like to watch yourself?

When asked what it's like to watch a young version of himself on screen, Campbell explained how being an actor is a double-edged sword. On one hand, every bad photo taken of Campbell is out there for the world to see.

"But then your best work is documented," he said. "That's what's awesome. Because a lot of guys go, 'I remember back in the day the chicks thought I was hot.' And most people are like, 'Yeah, yeah — sure pal.' At least I can suggest a couple of movies that I go, 'Well, this is me when I could do s---.'"

What's next for 'Evil Dead'?

Campbell said he's planning to shoot the next "Evil Dead" movie in New Zealand later this year. The film will be set in a modern-day urban setting.

While he couldn't share much about the film, he did emphasize that "it's out of the woods."

"That's the best thing to say," he said.

Campbell also has a film called "Black Friday," in which he plays a manager at a toy store invaded by aliens on Black Friday. Campbell said he's interested in doing a drive-in tour and that it would make "a whole lot of sense" to show 'The Evil Dead' somewhere near Knoxville.

"Maybe I'll see you there in East Tennessee with this new movie," he said.

What are the challenges of COVID-19?

Campbell filmed during the COVID-19 pandemic in December, even though he had no clue what to expect.

"The whole crew looks like Darth Vader," Campbell said. "In proximity, you have to go beyond the mask. You have to put the shield too. The good news is Tom Cruise would shout at us, of course, if we had any problems with COVID."

In all seriousness, he said. the industry has been doing a good job taking precautions making sure work can be completed safely.

"Everything's more complicated, but it can still be done," he said.

#Bruce Campbell #The Evil Dead #Evil Dead

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chanelhamitlon · 4 years

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but its always been you|| Thomas Jefferson x Reader

word count: 1550

warnings: cusing, lack of proofreading, mentions of death

A/N: my first Thomas fic🙈 (Modern AU like most of them) Idk how collage works pls 😭

Inspiration: Youuu - COIN (its really good omg)

QUICK NOTE: the cuts are usually to switch between y/n and thomas

tell me if you wanna be in my permanent tag list :))

Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders.

"Jefferson,Thomas". He walked up the stage to receive his much deserved diploma. Four years of extensive studying just for this moment. He looked at the crowd and as if the world suddenly stopped. He focused on this one person. She had a camera up to her face, her hair glistening in the daylight. He looked like her as if he had seen a ghost. He snapped out of it as she lowered her camera. His girlfriend, of course. She smiled at him as the announcer calls on the next graduate. He walked down and towards her. Now that he thinks about it, he'd gaze out to her like this multiple times now, but he feels this is not because of her herself. He saw someone else in her. A high school sweetheart perhaps. He might've seen the gold flakes in her e/c colored eyes as he did with Y/n. He was sure he had long forgotten about her. She was special, sure but as high school sweethearts go, they stay in high school. He was convinced the countless exes he'd have were all to drown out her calling out for him once more. Just one more time at least. He'd like to think that moving to the other side of the world also helped with the cause. That was his number one priority; to forget about the one year they spent together.

You always thought that it wasn't anyone's fault that you and Thomas broke up. It was just not in anyones best interest to keep it going after high school and if the feelings last, he'd always say that he will find you. You lost faith that he'd come back of course. Whatever goes on in high school, stays in high school. You would go on several dates with people in college but you would always find yourself comparing them to Thomas. You focused on your studies, everyone telling you that you were smart; 'If only they knew how much I know about the things that really matter'.

You look at the clock '12:34 am'. Graduation was tomorrow or later. You were trying to fall asleep, and quickly at that, but you can't refrain from overthinking. Every scenario running through your head in a fast pace. Every outcome possible, you could have saved that relationship. Were you thinking of going back to New York to find him? It was nice as it is in California. You had your essentials, a good connection to your family online, but it was never really enough. You needed him.

The day came through fast paced. You would think that one of the most important milestones in live would be savored by time, running slowly. It was the opposite, time was never forgiving of you, years came by in a glimpse. You still felt like a kid, just not now. Graduation had such a surreal feeling to it, no one was never obliged to finish school of course, but you would think that something this sentimental would finally saturate the world with colors.

At the bus ride to downtown San Fransisco, your mind drifted off with ease. The music flowing to your ears made you feel like you were in a music video, those artsy kinds who would always try to incorporate daily life then proceed with a shot of a glamorous mansion. A song comes on, one of your favorites actually, Youuu by COIN.

' She moves just like you

She tastes like you

But its always been youuu...'

They say that music with certain themes will always trigger memories, flowing back to your brain. Even the ones you could have sworn you have forgotten. Thomas springs in to mind. He was a player in high school, of course he would have found someone new by now. That year was still pretty vivid to you though. All the sneaking around, all your firsts, the mini get togethers turned dates. You remember everything.

"Hey do you want to go out on Saturday?"Thomas' voice echoes through the walls of the almost room. He was staying with his girlfriend for the meantime since her parents were to insist on them 'not spending money on property' yet. Although Thomas was to never have a problem with money, his family was filthy rich at that. He was still deciding whether to stay here, with his girlfriend, in the suburbs, content with a stable income job; or to his family in New York City, a corporate job, and maybe even to you.

"What's the occasion?" Her voice sweetly said. Running her hands through his curls. "I wanna see you dance again." He said with a light chuckle. She laughed, "Come on... I don't dance THAT bad". He enjoyed moments like this. He truly did. The light touching and cuddling, just enjoying each others presence. He knew that she was human and he was truly sorry. He was sorry that she was being played like a pawn in the game of life. He was sorry that this was temporary. He was sorry that he was looking for someone. And he is sorry that that sorry that that someone wasn't her. They both noticed that the vinyl record had stopped playing. She stood up and changed the track record. Thomas sat up and looked at her. Her back was faced towards him. 'Even her silhouette reminds him of you' . The decision is clear then.

You started working a minimum wage job to pay the bills. You live in an apartment, sharing a space with your roommate, Reese. She was kind enough as it is, you both treated each other like family. She got you through when you were looking for a job. Now paying her back, you got her a little cake to celebrate her birthday. Going home from the cake shop, you stopped your tracks to see a rather tall man in the street, he was talking to someone on his phone. 'It couldn't possibly be him'. You wanted to think rationally at that moment, but you were overtaken by your emotions. You lightly tapped his shoulder. He turned around to reveal a completely different person. You quickly apologized to the person. You weren't lying to yourself at this point, you were pretty devastated that it wasn't him.

Unlocking your apartment door, you heard mild sobs in the far left to you. That was your roommate's room. You closed the door and headed straight to her door. Knocking three times, you opened the door to a disheveled Reese, frantically grabbing tissues.

"What happened?" You were still going to approach her, mildly forcing her into toxic positivity. You were ready to listen to her. "I'm moving out." In your role as her roommate, this was the only thing that should concern you, but you were close and so you thought that something had happened at home. "My dad died. I'll move home and live there from now on." You understand completely that that was what she needed to do. You offer to help her on countless things of course. That night was one of the gloomiest in the apartment. You slowly watched her pack away most of her stuff, sulking away most days, above all that, conversation halted and was now a thing of the past.

"Have you made your decision yet?" Trying to make conversation at dinner, Thomas' girlfriend asked him to whether they would actually last or not. Long distance never really works for anyone, might as well rip the band-aid off now. Thomas looked like he was burried in a million thoughts, he looked at her apathetically, without an answer. They ate away the evening, they were the opposite of this lively restaurant. She looked at him, wanting to ask him more; what's are you thinking is at risk? what's weighing your shoulders down? is there 'a someone'?

Just as Thomas was to suggest leaving the restaurant and just saying sorry for the melancholy he brought to the evening, she stood up and suggested a dance. 'That's what they came for anyway.' He gladly accepted and took the lead, whisking her away to the dance floor. There were about 3 other couples around them, lost in their own world. He wants to think rationally, he doesn't want to loose his mind and let his emotions seep through his walls. They were slow dancing now. 'She really feels like y/n'.

"Who's y/n and why do I feel like her?"

Thomas froze. He accidentally said it out loud. There's no stoping it now, just tell her the truth; rip the band aid off.

"She's a girl I used to date in high sc-"

"Every relationship in high school stays in high school Thomas. grow up"

Thomas didn't know what to say.He didn't know why that sentiment ticked him off that way. He didn't know why his body was suddenly in flames. He didn't know what to say so all he did was run; run far away. She didn't understand. If you would've explained where you came from she would. No, she wouldn't.

Just before they reach the car she caught up to him. He turned around looking so distraught.

"Ive made up my mind."

part 2 👀?

#thomas jefferson #thomas #hamilton cast #hamilton fanfiction #hamilton fandom #hamilton fanfic #hamilton an american musical #hamilton #daveed diggs #daveed x reader #daveed #diggs #hamilton x reader #x reader #fanfiction #fanfic

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firesfelt · 3 years

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afternoon, all ! finally getting my last ( for now... i already have Temptations ) intro up, and hopefully without a rushed ending because i suddenly have to do something lmao. while i’m not Wild about my intro graphics in general ( why does this one lowkey look stretched, for a start... ) but the fact that that ‘o’ is perfectly circling amanda’s eye ? an absolutely accident but *chef’s kiss* nonetheless. i’m writing this up while saving rp icons, so let’s see if i can multitask !!

( amanda seyfried, 30, cis woman, she/her ) AISLING O’CONNOR was seen listening to HAPPY BY LEONA LEWIS on their way to DIETICIAN. AISLING is known to be OPEN-MINDED & UNFORIGVING.

➜ so first thing’s first, aisling is pronounced ‘ash-ling’ ( or ash-lin depending on your accent/whether you drop your ‘g’s or not ) and although it would make my life so much easier when it comes to typing if she did, she really doesn’t take well to anybody calling her ‘ash’ ( i’m up for the challenge though ! give me someone in her life who can finally get away with shortening her name !! she doesn’t tolerate nicknames at all but can we change her ? let’s see ! )

➜ and with a name like aisling o’connor, i’m sure y’all really don’t need three guesses as to where she’s from. she was born in belfast, and is the oldest of six sisters -- all of them blonde, and all of them beautiful ( would it be obnoxious to submit wc’s for all of them ? possibly... will i do it anyway ? perhaps... ) she comes from a very family orientated family, so when her parents wanted to move the family out of ireland due to the conflict at the time, it wasn’t surprising that aisling’s aunt, uncle, and cousins came too, as well as her darling nanna.

➜ aisling landed in huntsville at the age of six, but you best believe her accent is still just as prominent now as it was while running around belfast. as the oldest sister, she took on a lot of responsibility within the household, helping to raise the little ones with a roll of her eyes a each request, but also while being easily ignored. her parents were in no way neglectful, but with five smaller children to look after, their focus simply wasn’t on aisling.

➜ this meant that aisling fell through the cracks a little, and issues that began to surface as a teenager went unnoticed. while she never actually had a problem with her weight, teenagers can be wildly cruel and the societal pressures of looking a certain way can lead to young minds being warped, so aisling was very aware that she looked different to her peers. she was more... thicc/curvy/buxom, as a way to put it.

➜ attention might not have been drawn to her body as much if her interests were different. aisling spent her childhood and teenage years in dance classes, drama workshops, and singing lessons, all with the goal of training in musical theatre and going on to become an actress. there was a certain body type that surrounded her, and it wasn’t one she possessed, herself.

➜ it never became a problem, though, until she did go to college for musical theatre. her parents wanted all six of their girls to go to university, and they promised they’d pay what they could towards it as long as they went. they’d support any course, any major, just please go to university. however, aisling dropped out after two years. teachers, professors, agents, casting teams, they all had something to say, something to critique, something to jab at, and it lead to aisling’s self-image crumbling to the point of severe unhappiness, and developing an unhealthy relationship with food. constantly being told to drop ten pounds, as one can imagine, had a pretty gnarly effect on her.

➜ while she knew it would be possible to make it anyway, to prove the industry wrong, to make change, to represent different body types so young girls in the future don’t have to doubt themselves like she did, aisling decided her own mental health was both too fragile to do that, and more valuable than doing that.

➜ i feel like i’m going on about this a bit too much lmao, so i’m gonna wrap it up a bit: she was able to recover from the disorded eating that formed as a result, and discovered a newfound passion about nutrition, and was able to care about it without obsessing. she really wanted to form new habits around food and body image, and realised that her perspective and beliefs actually went way back to childhood, and it then extended into wanting to help other people. eventually, aisling went back to school and studied to become a dietician, which she now is. she has a special interest in helping young woman recover from disorded eating patterns and develop a healthy relationship with food and their body, and stomping all over diet culture, but she sees all kinds of clients in general.

➜ so life has obviously taken a very different turn for her, but she’s really kind of,,, okay with that at this point ? it is what it is, and that pathway really didn’t suit her. she didn’t have the skin for the industry --- or maybe the industry shouldn’t require her to have such thick skin, but it’s in the past now.

➜ also, p.s, i really don’t want it to come off like i think that there’s no place for women in theatre that don’t have sutton foster’s body, y’know ? that ain’t it !!!! it’s more,,, the absolutely ridiculousness of the pressure actresses have to look a certain way, esp. in theatre where if you’re not really slim, but you’re not big enough for roles like madame thernadier/tracy turnblad/nadia mcconell/martha dunstock/etc, there’s no place for you ? or people act like there’s no place. also don’t want it to come off bad in that,,, obviously at the end of the day, aisling is a thin woman that’s a bit,,, curvy ? like oh poor thin white woman ? that ain’t it, that isn’t what i’m trying to do jshsbss. d’you get me ? tryin to comment on how the industry can be a bit Shit, without making it out like little white cis women are the ones discriminated against. hopefully y’all get me sjhnbssbs

➜ also, when i was Creating aisling, i was originally going to make her older, and was gonna use keri russell, which is a Fun Time. i absolutely love keri though so don’t be surprise if i pop up with a keri fc later on down the line, lmao.

➜ in terms of personality, i feel like the two traits i picked for her app are a little, like, contradictory in a way ? but i love characters with conflicting personality traits. she’s very open-minded, easy to talk to, very accepting, etc ( she’s kinda like a therapist in that when you talk to her, she’ll just kind of nod and not show any kind of,, Reaction either way, she’s just Observing until it’s her turn to speak. she’s just taking everything in and Receiving without judgement for the most part ) but when she’s personally hurt, in a way that directly impacts her ( usually related to her family, tbh ) there is,,, no forgiving. she’ll hear you out, and maybe be able to move on from it, but forgiveness for the big, big things is r a r e.

➜ like how gwen is always sort of,, Faking happiness, i feel like aisling is always sort of chasing happiness ? she always wants to do what’s best for herself, and loves and respects herself deeply, so she’s always making the choices that are more likely to lead to long-term happiness, even if it bloody well hurts in the meantime ---- like giving up acting.

➜ i feel like while emika is just a loner in general who can’t handle more than fwb situations and one night stands, and gwen doesn’t have the time to form proper relationships with people due to her shift work, aisling is just really, really unlucky in love. like, for whatever reason, things just don’t work out, or turn sour, or just... fall apart. there’s a long line of exes and flings, people she took home to her parents and people she thought it best not to, all of which ending in tears.

➜ at least she has her bunny rabbits, though. they’ll never let her down. their names are sondheim & shwartz, and they are her pride and joy.

➜ her family play a massive role in her life, and she doesn’t know any differently and wouldn’t want to. her nanna is, as you can imagine, really quite old at this point, and deteriorating health-wise, but the whole family band together to keep her well and try and keep her mind active.

➜ in terms of connections and plotting, again, i’m really open. i’m willing to give absolutely anything a go and try and work stuff out. i’m also always open to hearing ideas for plots people really want and seeing if any of my characters fit. but for loose ideas for now: failed relationships & exes ( there’s lots of room there ), clients ( definitely don’t have to have issues with food necessarily ! she also sees people for things like dietary restrictions due to allergy or recently diagnosed illness like diabetes or pcos or w/e, pregnancy, folks who just want to create a meal plan that makes their body feel its best, picky eating in kids, etc ! ) people she went to school with, other theatre-y folks to bond with, honestly absolutely anything.

#sero.intro #intro ➜ aisling.#about ➜ aisling.#body image tw #eating disorder tw

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mollymauk-teafleak · 4 years

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Help Wanted (chapter four)

Huge thanks to my amazing betas @spiky-lesbian and @minky-for-short!

Please consider leaving a comment on Ao3 if you’d like to support my writing!

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4

----

WARNING: This chapter and the next few will deal with Fjord coping with his own sexuality and internalised homophobia. Avoid if this is a trigger for you.

Caduceus and Fjord start coming closer, when something comes roaring up to pull them apart

----

“So...Caduceus, huh?”

Beau wasn’t very good at difficult conversations. She knew that. Whenever she had to have one, whether it was navigating her relationship with her girlfriends, letting Jester know when she needed some quiet time or getting Yasha to be more open about how she was feeling, the person she usually turned to was Fjord. He’d never say it himself but he was good at feelings talk, at least when he was out of his own head. Even when he’d been far away, the two of them had texted whenever he was docked, and he’d always been able to help her figure out what to say. Not that she could tell him that. He’d have cringed and gotten awkward about it and insisted he was really no good at ‘soft stuff’.

And Beau would have felt that urge to slap the hell out of that Vandran guy. And Avantika. And everyone else who’d ever made Fjord feel like he was worthless if he wasn’t ‘strong’. But that would have taken a long time.

But this time, she couldn’t ask Fjord what to say or how to make her smile look less like a grimace or how not to come off like a grumpy asshole. Because the person she wanted to have this tricky conversation with was Fjord himself.

And so far it was going as well as she’d expected.

Fjord gave her a puzzled look from across the counter, “Caduceus. Yeah, I know the fellah. Tall, furry, dresses like a college age stoner. I only see him every day but Sundays.”

“Damn, that is exactly how he dresses…” Beau muttered, looking across at where Cad himself was standing, seeing his drop crotch pants in an eye watering geometric print in a new light, “Anyway, I just mean...he’s nice, right?”

Fjord narrowed his eyes, “Uh, yeah. He is nice.”

“And you’ve been getting on really well?”

“I guess, yeah. We talk a lot, we’ve actually started texting. I don’t think he’s ever done it before but he seems like he’s getting the hang of it...I know he seems a little slow but he’s actually way smarter than people realise, he knows more about plants than, well, anyone I think and all this stuff he just remembers off the top of his head, his memory for some stuff just crazy. Last night when we were texting, he was describing how to make some real complicated stew thing and I know for a fact he didn’t have the recipe book because that's here and he wasn’t googling it because I don’t think he knows how to do that but he remembered everything about it…” he stopped, like he’d just realised how long he’d been talking and flushed, “Beau, when are you getting to your point?”

Beau cursed internally. The answer was she had no idea. But she had to try.

“Just sayin’... seems like you’ve got a bit of a...a thing going on with him. A connection.”

That had definitely been the wrong thing to say. Fjord’s shoulders immediately hunched, his jaw set in that stubborn, defensive way. The blush became a fire across his face, turning his green skin splotchy. He looked like a teenager caught spray painting a wall.

“What? He’s just a friend,” he said, more curt than he probably realised, “Like I said, I see him every day. I’m allowed to have friends, ain’t I?”

Beau held up her palms, getting the strong sensation that Fjord wasn’t talking to her anymore, not in his head anyway, “Sure, sure. Course.”

“You and Jess said I should work here, you wanted me to get to know him, that’s all I’m doing-”

“Right!” Beau raised her voice a little, frowning, “I know, Fjord, I know. Jeez, I was just asking…”

“Well maybe don’t next time,” he snapped, “He’s just a friend...here’s your coffee.”

The last part was muttered a little resentfully as he pushed the biodegradable cup towards her more forcefully than he needed to, quickly turning on his heel and nearly fleeing into the kitchen, with a half caught comment about having work to do.

Beau groaned and slumped on her stool. She knew exactly what was going to happen now, Fjord would spend a day being cold and awkward around her then would snap right back to the way they’d been before, as if the botched conversation had never happened. That’s how it had gone every other time Beau had tried to steer him into talking about...well, anything even remotely adjacent to that.

She’d tried before Caduceus was ever in the picture. She’d tried to bring it up around bonfires they’d set on the beach on weekends Fjord had stayed with her because the orphanage was crushing him, on the nights they’d sneak onto the school field when her own home became unbearable to be in and she needed to talk to someone who didn’t treat her like she was a mistake for being herself. She’d waited expectantly when she’d come out to him, at their usual booth in the cheap diner they both frequented, like there was a second half to the conversation in the wings.

None had worked. How were you supposed to tell someone you saw something in them when they didn’t see it themselves? When other parts of them, parts that had been transplanted in against their will, would hate it and punish them for it?

As little as she liked it, Beau realised all she could do was sit back and hope against hope that something would grow in Fjord.

Well, she sighed as she jumped down and went to head to class, if anyone could make something grow in the harshest conditions it was Caduceus.

It happened so slowly.

It started with side glances, Fjord clearly noticing things he hadn’t before. Things like the tattoo at the base of Caduceus’ neck that was only visible when he wore his hair with his undercut exposed. Things like the swirl of smooth oak he wore through the hole in his ear. Things like the markings he shaved into the fur around his wrist on certain days, namely the week when the seasons were shifting, as spring became summer. They’d always been part of him, of course but now Fjord’s eye seemed drawn to them more than ever.

And then it became questions. Not big questions but small ones that betrayed a much bigger curiosity. One day, when Fjord came in to find Cad meditating on the floor in the middle of the cafe, he politely tiptoed around him and left him to it. But he spent the morning clearly chewing over a question and finally, as the two of them sat and ate lunch in the kitchen, he burst out and asked if Cad thought about anything in particular when he did that or if he just let his mind wander. Cad had smiled and happily ran him through some meditation basics, breathing and thought exercises and such. Fjord had listened intently before quickly busying himself with his sandwich and mumbling something about it sounding interesting but not really for him.

The next day, he’d asked Cad if talking to the plants as he did counted as talking to his goddess too. Then he’d asked if she had a particular special day or if she had a temple of some kind somewhere. Then he’d asked if the way Caduceus did his hair had something to do with her whole spiral thing, the way he usually did it in braided buns on either side of his head.

Cad answered every question patiently, as if simply indulging his friend’s curiosity. After all, she was a lesser known deity in these parts, of course she’d seem interesting to someone who had grown up in a city. But each one lit a hope in his chest, like fireflies buzzing in his ribcage.

And then it wasn’t a question, it was a realisation.

“That’s a wave, isn’t it?”

Caduceus looked up from where he was lounging on one of the sofas, sewing a torn cushion back together, “Hm?”

Fjord was over in the corner, one of the carved talismans in his hand. There were several dotted around the store, looking just like indoor rockery amongst the plants or interesting art sculptures. But if someone knew what they were looking for, they’d see them everywhere. This one was a palm sized river rock, carved with the Wildmother’s spiral and painted in watercolours. His sister had made it for him before he’d left, pressing it into his palm as he’d been packing, when the rest of his family had already started keeping their distance.

Clarabelle had always been a favourite of his.

It seemed to fit perfectly in Fjord’s palm and he was studying it like he had no idea how it had gotten there, the watering can hanging limp and forgotten in his other hand.

“The symbol,” he murmured, face creased in a gentle, curious frown, “It’s a wave, isn’t it?”

Cad leaned forward, setting his needle and thread to one side, lazily resting his chin on his knees, “It is. Melora’s of the sea as well as the forest. Where’s wilder than the sea, after all?”

“I...I didn’t know that,” Fjord’s voice was small and his eyes hadn’t lifted from the talisman.

Cad nodded, “She guides the passage of ships and protects those who sail the waves, anywhere in the world. Particularly from storms.”

That snapped Fjord’s eyes up, as if one of the words Cad had spoken was a fishing line that he’d jerked, “Really?’

Cad tried to feel nothing at the sudden intensity in the half orc’s stare, “Yes. She’s all about protection and balance when people travel through wild places. Keeping things as they should be.”

Again, something about that tugged at Fjord. Enough to make him set down the watering can and come to sit on the sofa opposite Caduceus’, leaning forward on his knees. The quiet of the cafe after hours seemed to intensify, wrap around them as if they weren’t just the only two people in the building but the whole world.

“You said she’s about healing,” his voice was raspy, like he was having to fight to keep some emotion out of it, “But what about...forgiving?”

Cad blinked slowly, ears twitching, “Forgiving?”

Fjord lowered his voice, “Like if you’d...done something you weren’t proud of. Or thought something or...or you were something you weren’t proud of...or at least you thought you should be...would she still…” he seemed unable to keep going, like he was grasping for words that weren’t there.

Cad took a moment to really look at him before he answered. It was like he was seeing him in a different light, the way the colour of some eyes could look completely different depending on where you stood. There was a fear in Fjord’s face he’d never seen before, a kind of raw and innocent fear that belonged to a child. A child who didn’t understand why he’d been hurt as badly as he had. Who’d spend his life trying to reason out that hurt, finding flaws in himself that weren’t there, just to justify it all. Because if it wasn’t there then the world was just plain cruel and that couldn’t be true.

Cad was good at reading people, he was good at understanding faces and the feelings behind them. But he hadn’t seen this. And it broke his heart.

“Fjord,” he eventually murmured, wanting so badly to reach across the table to him but knowing that would do more harm than good, “Nothing is unforgivable. Certainly nothing you’ve done. And some things...some things don’t even require forgiveness, no matter what other people have told you.”

Fjord swallowed hard, “And she...she’d think so too?”

“Without hesitation,” Cad answered immediately, never breaking his gaze.

At that, something in Fjord seemed to recede, pull away. Something that didn’t have form or shape or colour so it was hard to say how it did it, but the sensation was unmistakable. A kind of...darkness had withdrawn ever so slightly.

And he managed to nod.

Thank you, thank you, thank you Cad chanted desperately in his head as he kept his face in a gentle smile and reached over to Fjord, putting his large hands over the half orc’s callused ones and closing his fingers over the talisman in.

“Why don’t you keep that, Fjord?” he murmured, “I want you to have it.”

Fjord opened his mouth to insist he couldn’t but Caduceus was already shaking his head, “It’s not a promise or anything, it’s just...a gift. It’s just a gift. From one friend to another.”

Fjord bit his lip, though the anxiety in his eyes was bleeding away, “I…”

Cad’s hands were still on Fjord’s, somehow he’d not taken them away yet, “Just use it as a reminder that...you’re good, Fjord. No matter what you’ve been told, you’re fundamentally good. And change is always possible.”

“Caduceus…” It was part question, part plea for help, part just saying his name because he wanted to hear it out loud.

There was so much more he wanted to say in return, words beating in his mouth like a second heartbeat, straining for flight. Words that would chase that darkness away for good, make it flinch so he could catch it in his hands and show Fjord how small and twisted and wrong it really was, how he didn’t have to believe what it said ever again. How it had never been part of him but something he’d been forced to take.

And then everything broke into a hundred pieces as a car horn blared outside, again and again like an angry heartbeat. Both of them jumped a mile, Cad’s ears flattening against his head and Fjord whipping around as if expecting a blow.

“Oh…” he eventually said, when the shock had died down to just an unpleasant buzz in the nerves, “It’s Avantika…”

Sure enough, past the windows and the doodles of plants and mushrooms Jester had done for Cad in glass paints when he’d first opened, out on the darkened street was a car. The horn blared again, a shout into the previously calm twilight.

“She never normally comes to get me this late,” Fjord looked lost, still childlike and terrified, “Why…I should go…”

There was a pause then, a pause that could have lasted a lifetime to the two men caught in it. A possibility bloomed between them, a road opening up in a held breath. And then a choice was silently made. Fjord stood up, a different man, broader shouldered and with a set jaw and a mask on his face he’d worn for so long.

“I’m sorry, Cad,” this other man said, “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Right,” Cad murmured, still reeling, “Tomorrow.”

He went to stand too but then he felt it, the talisman. Not in Fjord’s hands but his own, left there, abandoned like a broken promise.

And for a moment, the other man was gone as Fjord whispered, “I’m sorry, Cad,” and fled, taking any unspoken words with him out into the night.

The door falling shut behind him sounded louder than it had any right to.

For a long time Cad stayed sat down, looking at the talisman left in his hands, all strength to stand gone out of him. He heard the car door slamming shut outside, the tyres screeching against the road as it drove away but he didn’t look to see it happen.

He didn’t understand.

Caduceus was still yawning as he walked from where he parked to the front of the cafe. He hadn’t slept well in the night, for obvious reasons, and was feeling every minute of tossing and turning as he walked through a chilly dawn.

The tiredness wasn’t helping him work out how he was going to approach Fjord today. He didn’t want things to be awkward, he didn’t want to lose a friend. But he couldn’t figure out how on earth he was supposed to keep that from happening after things had gone so disastrously wrong. Had he pushed him? Had he come off controlling? Had he seen a desire in Fjord that hadn’t really been there, that he’d only wanted to see?

Caduceus was used to being so sure of his decisions. Even when they’d been the rash, impulsive decisions of his youth, even when no one else seemed to follow his reasoning, at least he’d always been secure in his next step forward. Like the paths through the grove he’d walked so many times, he always knew where he was setting his feet.

Now he couldn’t even be sure there was ground underneath him at all. And if he didn’t find it soon, he’d lose sight of Fjord completely.

As he rounded the corner, out onto the quiet little street where his cafe stood, he realised with a sinking heart that he had no time left to figure it out. Because Fjord was already there, under the still glowing street lamp outside the door, hunched against the chill in that threadbare hoodie of his.

Cad’s ears drooped and he prayed for wisdom as he crossed the space between them, trying to smile.

“Morning, Fjord,” he called when there was still a few yards between them, “You’re early…”

The closer he got, the more his tiredness was replaced with a cold, heavy dread. Because Fjord looked fine. Far too fine. Like he was holding it that way quite deliberately because behind it all was something else.

“Uh, yeah,” even his voice was measured, like an actor delivering lines, “I came in a little early because...because I need to talk to you about something.”

“Well,” Cad turned to unlock the door, “We can talk inside, it’s a little too chilly to-”

“No,” Fjord interrupted, “I think I need to say this now, Caduceus.”

He stopped, the dread crystallising into a full on fear in his stomach, key freezing halfway in the lock, “...oh?”

“I’m leaving.”

And there it was.

Fjord broke, unable to look at him anymore, eyes falling to the pavement between them, “Avantika bought a ship. Well...we bought a ship, really but...thats why she came to get me last night, to tell me. She got tired of waiting for another captain to take us on so...so I guess we’re just doing it ourselves. We won’t be setting out right away but I need to go help get everything ready so...tomorrow’s going to be my last day.”

There was a second long pause, before the key turned in the lock with a sharp click. Cad stepped inside, still not having said a word, calmly slipping off his coat and putting on his apron, the only sign he’d heard being a tremble in his hands as he knotted it in the front.

“Well, that’s a shame,” he finally said, voice quiet, “We can talk more about the logistics of that but I need to go and get the produce out for today. You can sort out the tables. I’ll be in the store room if you need me.”

Fjord’s eyes were up, looking shocked and confused, like he’d been waiting for an explosion that hadn’t come, “Sure...yeah, I can do that…”

“Right,” Cad stepped away into the back room and down the steps into the basement, walking quickly, keeping his head up and his jaw still just in case Fjord was still looking.

It was only when the heavy door of the store room closed behind him, so he knew that he had a good ten minutes before anyone would get suspicious and enough distance that no one would hear, only then did he stop and sit down heavily on a wooden box.

Only then did Caduceus allow himself to sob.

#fjorclay #teahaw #fjord #caduceus clay #modern au #coffee shop au #cr: fjord #cr: caduceus #critical role #internalised homophobia #pining

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queerchoicesblog · 5 years

Text

A Surprise Party (OH, Harper x F!MC)

So, consider this an ideal continuation of my homage to Mrs. Martinez. This is NOT a part two of A Letter From Buenos Aires, which is fully focused on the friendship between Dr. Emery and Teresa!

Here we get a little background for Harper (I’m trying to make up a background story that makes sense in my head), Dr. Meredith Valentine (MC) asking the Chief of Medicine to join a surprise party for Edenbrook Hospital’s most beloved patient and an extended version of Harper attending the party. I know Harper stans are basically a rare species (we're the red pandas of the fandom, guys!), hope y’all like it!

(I keep using Freema Agyeman gifs for this series cause I wish MC looked like her in her medical version!)

Word Count: 1964

Perma Tag: @brightpinkpeppercorn @bbaba-yagaa @melodyofgraves @abunchofbadchoices @silverhawkenzie @bhavf @begging-for-kamilah @kennaxval @strangerofbraidwood @crazypeanat

Harper Emery fic tag: @korrasamixlover (& @sapphovonchat if she’s interested)

______________________________

The day was finally over. Harper gave a relieved sigh and hanged her white coat. She freshened up, humming one of her favorite song, Talkin' 'Bout A Revolution by Tracy Chapman. It was some kind of personal anthem to her in college when she ditched sorority club invitations to meet up with other activists to organize protests and parade against gender and racial equality. The thought made her smile to herself, a hint of nostalgia on her lips: as years went by, she had to step back to focus on neurosurgery studies, who took most of her time, but she was committed to proving her colleagues, her professors and even herself wrong and show the world she "had what it got to get there". That day, out of nowhere, that tune had been in her head since lunch, she couldn't wait to get in her car and put it on. No, she had to call Marcus first for the family dinner...well, after that. She put on her trench coat and headed towards the elevator, going through what she was gonna say to her brother.

The doors were already closing when she heard someone calling her name. With a quick move, she pressed another button and the door opened again.

"Wow, good reflexes Dr. Emery!" the young woman commented, panting slightly as she sped through the whole corridor.

"I try, Valentine" Harper quickly smiled. "What can I do for you?"

"Oh it's totally not work-related!" Meredith reassured her. "Well, kinda? It won't be long, can I...?" she asked nodding to the free room inside the elevator.

"Sure, what floor?"

"Ground floor"

Harper noticed the notepad in the other woman's hands.

"So about that 'kinda not work-related' thing..."

"Oh yeah, right!" Meredith cleared her throat, blushing slightly. "I'm sure you've been informed of the improvement of Mrs. Martinez's health"

"Yes, of course. I can't quite explain it to myself...I'm a woman of science, Valentine, and I don't believe in miracles. Don't get me wrong, I'm quite fond of Mrs. Martinez and I'm more than happy to sign her discharge papers, it was just...unexpected" Harper turned to the intern and gave her a smile, veiled with an unknown tenderness. "But she deserves to live her last years away from this place"

"I couldn't agree more" Meredith smiled back but quickly changed the topic before the Chief could read more into it. "So I was...hum, thinking of pulling a surprise party for her at the cafeteria the day of her discharge. Will you be there, Dr. Emery?"

Harper laid on her a gaze full of curiosity. The Chief of Medicine had been too busy with administrative stuff and a few operations over the past few days that it slipped her mind. Probably she avoided the thought because she cared for the wondrous crazy Mrs. Martinez...but yes, a surprise party was just the thing. Teresa would have loved it!

"A surprise party?"

"Yes! Mrs. Martinez is quite popular here so -I thought- maybe even some doctors and nurses would like to give her a proper goodbye. I feel she deserves it"

At that very moment, the doors of the elevator opened, signaling that they had reached the ground floor. They walked into the almost deserted atrium of Edenbrook Hospital and Harper spoke again.

"I must admit you never cease to amaze me, Valentine. You work hard every day, lead the competition for the fellowship and use your free time to plan a surprise a party for a patient, I mean not even one of your patients?"

Meredith turned to Dr. Emery, asking expectantly:

"It's no big deal and she deserves it. Will you be there?"

Harper's eyes fell on her and her face relaxed:

"Of course, Valentine. Anything for Mrs. Martinez" a smile brightened her face.

Meredith immediately produced a pen from her pocket and write down Dr. Emery's name in her 'Surprise Mrs. Martinez Party' list. She looked as happy as a little girl who just won a stop at the candy shop. Harper couldn't refrain herself from thinking that that look was rather endearing and the intern Ramsey clearly took a liking for just made her smile again.

"Why are you doing this, Valentine? What's your Teresa story?" she asked, genuinely touched by the commitment of the intern to make this party happen.

Meredith's eyes rose from the notebook to meet her gaze.

"Because she helped me when I got lost on my first day here. And then she did the most amazing thing you can do in a hospital: she made me laugh."

Harper nodded: it totally sounded like Teresa's magic.

"Let me know the right time, I'll be there. Have a good evening, Valentine"

"I will and...same to you, Dr. Emery"

Meredith's heart fluttered when she caught the Chief smiling brightly to herself as she walked towards the parking lot.

-----------

A lot of people showed up at the surprise party: as soon as they heard "Mrs. Martinez" they jumped on board. Dr. Valentine contemplated happily the result: doctors and nurses chatting with each other, hugging Teresa, someone trying and failing to hide a tear....

The celebration was in full swing when Harper cleared her throat and everybody turned towards her. She gave a smile to the audience and said:

"I believe a few words are in order about Mrs. Martinez" her hazel eyes gleamed as they fell on the former patient, who smiled back affectionately.

"You've been the backbone of Edenbrook for the past decade. I remember my neuro residency when you first arrived. It was a tough day and it was probably written all over my face. I was catching my breath at the nurse station when someone tapped my shoulder. I turned and I saw this amazing lady with an outstretched hand. 'Hello, doctor. My name's Teresa Martinez. Also known as the new girl'. And she winked at me"

"Of course I did, girl!" Mrs. Martinez commented, winking to the crowd.

Everybody laughed. Then Harper continued:

"I was caught off guard and said 'Well, I'm a new girl here too!'" she smiled to herself, amused, as a light chuckle raised from the audience. "We just started chatting when one of the nurses came running. Apparently, Mrs. Martinez was supposed to take her meds an hour ago but forgot and wandered around Edenbrook instead"

Teresa gave a dramatic shrug that made everyone laugh.

"And my supervisor was looking for me. Unimpressed this lady turned towards the nurse and gave her the purest apologetic smile: 'Forgive us, Reina, we are the new ladies, you have to be patient with us. Now, where are these meds you mentioned?'"

The audience clapped at the younger Mrs. Martinez's incorrigible irony.

"She flashed me a smile as the nurse guided her back to her room and mouthed 'You can do it, girl'. That's when I knew I met someone special. The very same person who years later, when I became a neurosurgeon here at Edenbrook, knocked at my office's door with a cupcake sneaked from the cafeteria in her hand because she wanted to congratulate with me for my promotion"

Harper did her best to hold back tears.

"So, dear Mrs. Martinez, dear Teresa...Edenbrook Hospital's doors are always open for you but we hope not to see you again anytime soon. Inside these walls, at least. We'd rather know you on a world's tour having the time of your life."

Someone from the crowd cheered "Hell yeah!".

Dr. Emery's eyes met Paula's gaze once more:

"Just know we will miss you"

A round of applause and cheers framed the end of her discourse. Teresa walked to her and pulled the Chief into a hug and said in a low voice so that only Harper could hear:

"Ay, you want me to cry now! Such a beautiful speech, smart girl, really a beautiful speech"

Dr. Valentine, who was standing nearby, caught those words and smiled contently to herself seeing a visibly touched Teresa gently stroking Harper's back and her boss murmuring "I meant it". As Dr. Ramsey raised his cup and shared his own personal story of when Mrs. Martinez tripped over him, the ladies turned towards him and Teresa stood beside Harper, half hugging her.

I'm glad I could give you a good party, Teresa, thought Meredith. As if hearing her thoughts, Elijah and Sienna gave her a thumb up from where they were sitting.

Almost every doctor and nurse attending the party shared their memories and Mrs. Martinez was radiant. Many commented that they had never seen her so ecstatic: it was refreshing and "I'm just so happy for her", someone said. Even Dr. Ramsey gave Meredith "the Rookie" an approving nod.

Too soon Rafael came back in and announced that the ride was there. Mrs. Martinez gestured to the crowd to keep going.

"No no, don't be sad now: I'm going to start a new life out there so no long faces. I'm so grateful to any of you for what you have done for me during my long stay...I know I've been a handful, believe me! Every one of you is special to me in their own way and I will remember you. Remember me and think back to this day as the day that crazy old lady finally walked down the door smiling"

When she finished, a round of applause echoed and intensified as she produced herself into a dramatic bow as if she was some Hollywood diva of the past. She raised laughing earnestly.

"Now, about that part, I need my girls" she said and went grabbing Dr. Valentine and Dr. Emery's hands.

"Yes, yes, the one it all started with and my last 'new girl'" she explained to the confused ladies.

"As you wish" Harper conceded.

So they walked down the corridor leading to the exit hand in hand, with Mrs. Martinez in the middle contently holding both women's hands. When they approached the car, the old lady turned towards them.

"Time to say goodbye"

She hugged both her 'new girls', whispering a few words into their ears out of each other's earshot. After placing a kiss on their forehead, she moved towards the cab, saying:

"You two play nice."

"Not sure what you mean but we will, ma'am" Dr. Valentine reassured her.

Teresa laughed to herself and stood behind the open door. She lingered there for a moment, taking in the sight of Harper and Meredith standing side by side smiling at her.

"You're very cute together" she commented before taking a seat in the car and waving bye at the two now flustered and confused women.

"What did she say?" Harper asked

"I'm not sure I got it"

The two doctors looked at each other and chuckled to clear the awkwardness of the moment.

"Edenbrook won't be the same without Teresa"

The words slipped out of the Chief's mouth veiled with a bit of nostalgia.

"Yeah, definitely..." Meredith agreed as her eyes followed the cab until it took a turn and went out of her view. Then she turned to the other woman. "I mean, I don't know her as well as you d-"

She hadn't finished her sentence when Dr. Emery's page started beeping.

"I'm sorry, Valentine. Duty calls"

Harper gave her a quick apologetic smile. The intern gestured that it was okay and they both headed towards the hospital entrance. Before parting ways, the Chief turned towards Meredith once more and there was an unexpected softness in her voice:

"I'm glad that you had a chance to meet Teresa. She's a special woman"

That said, she disappeared behind the elevator doors, her usual distant and professional look back on. Dr. Valentine shooked her head and headed back to the cafeteria to thank everyone: her time with Dr. Emery was up, again.

#open heart #harper emery #harper x mc #mrs martinez #playchoices #choices fanfic

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neshabeingchildish · 5 years

Link

Madame President.

“On today’s special episode of Pipe Up! I would like to introduce Psychiatrist to the Supers…” Charlotte turned the TV down. It was recording, anyway. Piper double majored in psychology and sociology in college, worked as a professional counselor in her office, which was what used to be Junk N’ Stuff, became one of those internet professionals who had a thriving career and an online presence/following for it, not to mention all of her old following when she was a public figure… So it was only natural that her dreams of becoming a television lifecoach came true. She had done multiple talk shows as a guest, documentaries, reality projects for clients that she had who were famous, and for the past several years, after helping Charlotte to found SupesSpace (the mental health network for supers and heroes), she had her own show Pipe Up! Pipe Up was about helping and healing the heroes that kept our world safe, but also highlighted the professionals who guided them through those processes.

It was partially mental health information, from professionals, testimonials from those who had been going through things (often heroes that had been nonconsensually unmasked, or had been forced into the life early - Piper and Charlotte’s soft spots), partially tips for those in need from the very people who did this kind of work, partially backstories of those people, because a lot of times, those not in the field considered them necessary, but rarely knew anything about them or took the time to ask them how they were. Sometimes, Piper’s clients wanted to share their story on the show and it would be special segments.

Today’s guest was the leading supers psychiatrist. Charlotte definitely wanted to see it, but had so much to do today. She was turning over her power to Max Thunderman, of all people. She had no idea that the super community would ever forgive him enough to entrust him with this position, but here they were - he was getting ready to “retire to” President of the Hero League, and she was getting ready to campaign for President of the United States.

There were a lot of people who didn’t like the thought of a super in the White House. Charlotte was tired of the gymnastics that once went into making people comfortable with having her in spaces that “weren’t meant” for her. While, some part of her worried that the Oval office was much too powerful and had too many possible setbacks for her to ever be able to redirect the country in much needed ways (even some of the historically “best” presidents had a tough time of making a dent in the state of things), she still held out hope that she could possibly make some kind of positive difference in an oppressive nation in a world built upon the oppression of others.

Whenever she and Simone gathered to bring or pick up their children from playdates, she would always tell her, “You know that they’re going to suck your soul out in that position, right? It’s the reason that the Hero League acts in the best interest in humanity first and has sovereignty over supers. This country is a wasteland with a gated community of a certain percentile and that office is to keep the waste where it belongs and to go wherever it takes to obtain more for that gated community. Every U.S. President is a puppet and a clown…” Or some variation of it.

Charlotte would toss a shady joke in her direction such as, “Every since you got those goddess locs, you’ve been on your bullshit again.” SImone would just smile and shake her head. Those locs looked great on her. Charlotte thought about them, but it was going to be difficult enough to run for a major office in this country with her natural hair, much less that style, as majestic as it looked. And Simone’s skin was shining every since she shed all the green genes. Max was always posting “My Four Girls,” her, in the middle of the twins and their youngest daughter Meaux (Pronounced “Mo”), now what 8 years old, maybe? They had twin boys in between her and the baby girl (Simon and Maximus Jr), maybe a year younger than Charlie - but Charlotte wasn’t keeping up with ages anymore, just how quickly everyone seemed to surpass her height! Charlie was the only kid of all their bunches that seemed like she probably wasn’t going to be taller or as tall (short) as Charlotte.

Max, with his salt and pepper long hair and beard looked more like a supervillain than president of the Hero League, but insisted that was part of his “mystique.” He was the poster boy for reformation. He was what any villain could look to whenever they tired of their evil ways and for that, people felt somehow safer with him. He was always scrutinized for his past, therefore, they felt like he must’ve been really reformed, to not have had any incidents in nearly 20 years. With this position, Max had goals, but the greatest of them was to “Ride it out here until I die.”

Meanwhile, Simone had not been involved in politics in a long time. Instead, she opened a center for supers who just want to be able to have normal lives. There were all grades of school and there was housing for those beyond school age. It was basically a supers community where nobody was expected to be the hero. She helped people to start businesses - everything from frozen yogurt shops to boutiques. She studied dance and opened her own dance studio in that community. But, The Center of Hope for Heroes (With the general prohibition sign covering the word Heroes) was in the center of the community and was the heart of it. It wasn’t too far from the Mimi Memorial, so Ray settled in the community with Katelyn, and buried her in tree form at Mimi’s grave. It took him a while to allow himself to care for another dog, but he’d frequently go to the dog shop to try to convince himself to do so. He was just tired of losing others and knowing that this was his fate as an indestructible man. He would last longer than most of the people he cared about. It was depressing, but the lady who owned the pet shop made it a little more bearable.

She would introduce him to different dogs, but also gave him the information of a licensed supers counselor who worked with heroes who have lost partners. “A lot of people think that because they weren’t in the field with you that meant that they aren’t your partner, but you came home to her everyday and you took care of her, the two of you took care of each other, for many years. She counts as a partner and a friend and her loss is no less important than if you had lost a child or a romantic partner.” He had lost one of those and the potential other. He never really thought about talking to a counselor about it, beyond Piper, though. After he did, he went to check on another dog, and to check on the pet shop owner. She was single… and interested. He couldn’t stop smiling about the possibilities. Mimi would’ve wanted him to move on years ago, but his heart wasn’t ready. He and Katelyn simply coped until he had to face it - not everyone made it, and that was okay. He didn’t have to bury himself with those who left before he did, and they wouldn’t want him to...

Jasper was going to go ahead and call in his surrogate again. That was cool. If it was gonna be a girl, he wanted her to be called Bushida, which Charlotte told him she didn’t think that was a name and also that the word that he was probably looking for might not be appropriate for his daughter. If it was another boy, he wanted to call him Bucket. “Do you simply hate your children, or…?” He waved a hand at her. He didn’t care about the haters. Bushida or Bucket were gonna be well loved and have at least one dad that made them laugh ALL of the time. Mitch might be an overgrown child, but children loved that about him.

Charlotte had so much money that before she even made her donations to charity, she honestly just made sure that her loved ones had everything that they could need. That meant all friends from the Man Cave, and now the Lady Lair - Piper’s family, their parents, even Jasper’s folks, the Thundermans, the Bilsky’s, The Center of Hope for, the Academy, despite Hamilton’s removal, Evelyn was still an important part of her life, and she believed in the school… She still had much to give away for her charity interests, technological advances, and other cares, causes and concerns. And, she would have enough to run a successful presidential campaign, hopefully while keeping her morals in tact.

Running a country with such a system in place and all of the insistence to continue it for all of the purposes that there were to continue it… She knew that wouldn’t be easy, if she even made it to that point. She did still have a husband and children and thought maybe, just maybe… She should actually take a BREAK, for once.

Charlotte looked at herself in the mirror. She looked… similar to how she remembered. She looked at this version of herself a lot less than she had when she was younger. A lot of times, she had her hair and makeup done by someone else. A lot of times, she ate while she got dressed, or conferenced in on of of Hank’s corporate calls while she brushed her teeth on mute, or looked over assignments to dispatch heroes to while she did her skincare routine at her desk. This woman in the mirror - she was some person who had been much too busy to remember to pause every now and then. Even both of the times that she was on maternity leave, she always had a lot of “not on your feet” work to do and taking on a huge role at this moment would mean that she wouldn’t be able to get that break any time soon. It’d likely be about 2 years of campaigning, and then 4 years in office. She would probably look in the mirror in six years and the patch of gray that had grown across the front of her head would be a head full of gray and maybe there would be more worry creases and wrinkle lines.

Charlie helped her put her hair up and they had a mother daughter spa day, which was usually Charlotte trying to relax while a very excited Charlie, with very expensive product on her flopped around and attempted to tell her 50-11 stories. At the end of it, Charlotte never felt reasted, at all… just softer. She’d put Charlie to bed, check around the house to see if Hank was there (he usually wasn’t). Much like both of his parents, he was quite the workaholic. He was generally in the Danger Fortress, though… That was what Charlie had somehow gotten them to start calling the command center from which Charlotte used to assist Mr. Danger. Hank would work on upgrading things for fun, sometimes with Schwoz’s help or guidance. She found him in there, with four holographic screens pulled up with stats from businesses and with campaign projections.. “Hope you’re wrapping up and getting ready to head to bed,” she said.

“I don’t have anything to do in the morning,” he observed, typing notes on a notepad connected to his waist.

“Fifteen minutes,” she said and made eye contact with him.

“Yes, Mom.” She looked around the room. It felt different, but the design wasn’t new. She just knew that a lot had changed since she set it up. “Miss it?” Hank wondered.

“Not especially. But, I have a lot attached to it. How are Henry’s legs?”

“In perfect shape. I would tell you if anything changed.” He began to shut things down and they left the room together. “Charlie is coming into the lair tomorrow, so I wanted to have everything squared away.”

“Coming in for training?”

He nodded and went into his bedroom, “Homework first though. I told her that I would help her with it because Dad helped her and wound up having to look up all the answers to her math. She got points deducted because she didn’t show the work.”

“Ugh. He’s supposed to grab you when he doesn’t know what he’s looking at!” She complained.

“I was at the site we’re looking at for Page & Thunderman Corp. But, I’ll handle it tomorrow.” He gave her a kiss on the face and went into the room. She watched him for a moment, kick off his shoes, but neatly place them in a shoe rack, grabbed his night clothes and activated his computer to work on verbal command.

She went in and checked the crystals that she knew he only kept nearby because of her. “Interface, adjust Hammy’s room for sleep, not work and replace his crystals and put these with those that need cleansing and charging, please.”

“Yes, Madame President.” She furrowed her eyebrows, and left the room. Henry was doing pull ups in his home gym and she got his attention and tapped her watch at him. He nodded, finished his set and grabbed his towel. “Did you know that Interface called me Madame President tonight?”

“Yeah, we programmed her to do that. Well, Hank programmed her to do it, but it was my idea. You always tell me that you gotta envision and claim and manifest.” She smiled at him and he kissed her on the cheek. “You take a shower yet?”

“No, I was waiting on you, Dude. But, Charlie told me about you planting her a violet garden and getting her a statue commissioned?”

“I’m positive that she said ‘commisionerred,’ because that’s what she said every single time, but yeah. I’m using my allowance card, because honestly, what I promised her is gonna cost me.”

“Stop promising her grand things.”

“She’s my daughter,” he said, as though that settled it. She nodded, so it did. “She wants the garden to have a fence with purple lights, a purple birdbath, with a birdhouse hovering above it and a bird feeder inside the birdhouse - all this is supposed to be purple, so I guess I’m gonna have to decide which shades, because naturally I won’t just have a big violet eyesore on the premises. There’s a place for all of the plants on these grounds.”

“I actually already heard the plans. I just wanna get your hot body into the shower so that I can have my way with you and you can put me to sleep.”

Henry threw his towel away and set his water down and picked her up to go do just that.

They were laying in bed afterward and Charlotte commented, “You make love to me like I’m still as beautiful as when we started.”

“Well, dang… I was tryin’ to do it like you’re more beautiful now than you’ve ever been!” He smiled at her. She looked emotional. “You okay?”

“I’m tired and I feel old, but I have goals and I know that I won’t rest until I’ve met them. I just want to be able to take a break… but I guess that’s what retirement is for. 65 full stop, right?”

“I’m leaning more towards 45, but…” She looked at him and he said, “Just kidding. These legs have another good 50 years. My heart will give out before they will. So… Maybe 65 for me. I already feel old, though.”

“Your work is physical. You really need to start looking for a sidekick, Hen. You don’t want to be old and trying to train someone through a headset.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll start thinking about it. Maybe I’ll create an ad on FaceMask.”

“I think SymBIOsis would be better for it. More range.”

“Yeah, but FaceMask is tried and true. I KNOW I’ll get legit level sidekick there… if I EVEN do that!”

“Well, I just want us to one day be able to take a break, while I still have some life left in me.”

“You… You get some news or something?” He asked, concerned.

“I looked in the mirror. Some old chick was looking at me. Had the nerve to be moving like I was, like she was me or something.”

He smiled and nudged her with his nose, “Oh, her… I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’ve been hitting that for years. She really does it for me. I’m sure she always will, and I just can’t let her go.”

“What if she gets older and older and more old?”

“I’m gonna be tapping it until her hips go bad.”

She cackled at his proclamation. “She must have that good good!”

“The goodest,” he said and winked at her.

Two years later

"I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States..."

Hank didn’t want to live in the White House. Henry didn’t want to leave the Charteaux to landscapers, even the finest that they hired to keep up with everything. Charlie just wanted to be a superhero and being the President’s daughter seemed pretty close to that, so she was fine with whatever. She was more concerned about her facial adjustments and her body changes.

The first concern was the fact that she had glasses. She had to get them when she turned 11, but she was constantly breaking them to the point that now, she had ones that were much too big for her face, in her opinion and the ones that Hank worked on for her were more like goggles… So those messed with her hair, which was already a lot to take care of! The next concern was NOW, she needed braces! And… she hated the thought of it. She’d have to care for them and clean them and all of that? She hated stuff like that! For what? Straight teeth without gaps in them? For her mom’s perfect set? What could possibly go wrong with her body next?

She hated that she asked! Because not too much longer afterwards, she went to the bathroom and there was blood everywhere. Now… she knew what it was and she had been taught what to do when it happened, but when it happened, she just froze for a moment, then rushed to try to clean up and score protection. She didn’t tell her mother about it. She knew that she’d probably have some kind of serious person talk with her and she wasn’t into that. She told Hank and he got her everything that she needed and then binged movies with her and ate snacks. He was sincerely the best brother and she always loved the fact that everybody else thought he was words like “pretentious” and “narcissistic,” but she only knew him as “awesome.”

They were in her second cycle and their new way of handling it whenever she commented, “I wonder now that Mom’s president if that means that I can start trying to look into doing things through Hero League, since she can’t BLOCK me anymore.” She said it with a lot of resentment that Hank didn’t appreciate, but he understood the frustrations. To this day, he had held himself back from trying to become a super because of his anxiety over what Charlotte would say, do, or think if something went wrong.

“I’m sure that she has Maxi on the lookout for stuff like that, but… I mean, maybe she’d go a little bit easier now that you’re 13 and you’ve reached this portion of your journey.”

“What does that mean? Say it like I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Well, you know, because you have a superpower, you can register for legal adulthood when you hit puberty, but you already have to be in a position to take care of yourself, for instance have money, powers, or intelligence that makes you capable of supporting your own lifestyle and needs, OR you have to be a registered hero with the Hero League. I can’t imagine that Mom WOULD support you moving forward with it, but if you want me to try to talk to her, I can always remind her that dad started his job at your age.”

She gasped and asked, “HE DID???”

“Yeah… Dad used to be Kid Danger, didn’t you know that?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t know that he was an actual KID, I thought it was a nickname like that funny guy you listen to on old podcasts! Kid Fury! Dad was a KID kid when he was Kid Danger? That means that I’M ready to be a sidekick too! He’s been looking for one, but he’s been training one the whole time!”

“I don’t know… I was thinking more along the lines of you speak to them about becoming legal, getting your inheritance turned over to you and safely living freely until you’re actually old enough to be a superhero.”

“I AM actually old enough to be one! You just said it! It’s legal and it would be hypocritical for them to refuse me! Daddy did it!”

“I don’t think you’re getting the moral of my message…” She zipped out of the room and he massaged his temples, “Mom is gonna be piiiiiiiiiiiiissed.”

Mr. Danger was appointed to President Page by the Hero League for the first ever Head of the Super Secret Service. The Secret Service would still be in effect, but it was unprecedented that an unmasked super was President of the United States and therefore, getting non-pow humans to guard her life seemed unfair and unethical to her. She had never even had bodyguards before, save Mr. Danger, so an entire team felt like a lot for her. But, if they were supers, she felt better and if Danger was in charge of those supers, well - that was the best case scenario. The children had non-pow secret service, simply because she certainly didn’t want to put any of these dutiful people out of work.

Charlotte was in meetings with Mr. Danger posted outside whenever Charlie got her guards to bring her to him. He thought it might be an emergency, but kept a calm face. “Charlie, what is it?”

“Hank told me that you began being a superhero when you were my age, which means that I’m eligible for being your sidekick and I won’t take no for an answer, because that would be unfair!”

“We have to discuss this later, Sweetie,” he said and gestured for them to lead her back to her room.

“Just tell me yes right now. We shouldn’t have to discuss anything, Daddy. You say all the time that I’m way better at what I do than you were when you were younger! I didn’t know that you HAD THE JOB when you were underqualified! I am over qualified then and you need a sidekick…”

He nodded his head, “Okay, Sweetie, but Mommy’s in here working and Daddy has to guard and keep a lookout, so please, let them bring you back to your room…” She squealed and hugged him and rushed off, telling her guard about how she was going to be a sidekick. Wait.. Had he said that to her? He replayed the conversation in his mind…

Her: just say yes…

Him: Okay, Sweetie… but…

“Oh my God… Charlotte’s gonna be piiiiiiiiiiiiised,” he whispered to himself.

Charlie handed Hank her designs for her costume and her notes of the features she needed, “You can do this, right?”

“No, Charlie! Mom is not gonna let you be Dad’s sidekick. I don’t care what you think he said to you today,” He looked at the designs, “But, this is excellent work. You… must’ve gotten mom’s fashion bug.”

“Mom? Fashion?” She busted out laughing. “Anyway… So, see here, that violet will be what we can use to keep me tuned into the Interface… And I will actually settle for goggles in costume, since I can’t imagine going to battle with these!” She pointed to the glasses on her face. “This getting a period thing kinda rocks. I know what they mean when they say you become a woman…” She looked at Hank. He was still studying her plans and apparently hadn’t heard her.

“And the schematics are properly done to scale.”

“Ummm, you bug me about details all of the time.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t expect you to pay attention. I’ve been bugging Dad about details since I was a kid. He still tells me stuff like, “Just take it in a little in the middle and make it a tad longer in the back. I blame mom for knowing what he means by non-measurements and just making it work. But… I need to go to the Danger Fortress…”

“I’m coming!”

“No, we can’t both go. Mom will flip out.”

“Why would she? We’ll have those secret service dudes for decoration and me for protection! I’m a sidekick now, Hank.” He sighed and rolled his eyes, grabbing her hand to help her up. “Should we clean this up before we go? Mommy says it’s rude to just leave a mess, even when there’s a maid.”

“We’re coming back.”

“You’re gonna stop doing a project to come back here?”

“Good point, make it snappy and meet me at the car.”

“Will you leave me if I’m not quick enough?” She asked. He smirked, but didn’t answer, so she hauled ass to clean up their mess and rushed to meet him at the car to go back to the property and work.

Charlotte came out of her chambers hours later and all she wanted to do was kiss her husband, hug her kids and try to settle for the night until the next obligation. Mr. Danger was pacing, and not wearing his mask.. Which - technically, he didn’t need it because the world knew who he was, but he still wore it because of work and stuff. “Hey, you okay?” She asked. He yelped at the sound of her voice and smiled at her, “Okay… Tell me what’s going on.”

“Okay. Well. I. May. Have… Possiblyyyyyyyyy… Perhaps… Mayhaps, even… Perchance…”

“Henry!”

“I told Charlie that she could be my sidekick!” He gasped right after he finally said it out loud and covered his own mouth, like that was going to have him to take it back.

She looked relieved, “Oh. Jeez. You scared me for a moment. I thought it was something serious.”

“She and Hank are at the Danger Fortress working on her costume.”

“Wait. Right now? You told Charlie that she could be your sidekick right now? At her age? In this time? While I’m the president and you’re supposed to be working here on my behalf?”

“That’s the beauty of it, right? If she’s my sidekick, then she’s just at my side in the White House and stuff. We won’t have an assignment assignment for like 4 years!” He cheered, having just thought of this right now.

“Only, that’s not true. You’re one of the Hero League’s best operatives. Max isn’t just letting me HAVE you for four years. You’re creating a system, showing this group how to on the job and I’m sure that within months, maybe even weeks, he’ll have you in the field, on assignment! You… You gotta go tell her that you made a mistake and it can’t happen!”

He sucked in air through his teeth and clasped his hands, “I’ve tried to, but she keeps bringing up great points and now, I don’t know… I’m gonna just give it a shot…” Her face went on a full journey through emotions that he knew, ones that maybe she didn’t even know, and ones that terrified him, before she smiled and blinked her eyes and asked, “Why would you do this?” She clenched her fists and then held out her hands, honestly awaiting an answer.

“Hey, I started at 13 and I was fine.”

Almost immediately, she lost her entire cool, “Ray broke child labor laws, not to mention behaved morally and ethically questionable in hiring you! You were too young and it wore you out! It was incredibly hard for you and he didn't even cut you slack! If I thought for one moment that you would follow in his footsteps, I wouldn't have given you my support in your hero’s journey and certainly wouldn't have bore your children!”

He hated when she did this. She would get mad and go off on him and say something just nasty and hurtful like this. “Char, you're angry, so you're being mean…”

“You're darn right, I'm angry. Our daughter hates me enough already and now I have to go tell her that I'm forcing her not to be able to do what you promised her. Damn you, Henry, for making me have to make her hate me more!” Her voice was loud and high pitched and she knew that she shouldn’t be doing this in the White House, because somebody somewhere would have something to say about it, but her nerves were bad about this. The relationship with Charlie had been struggling since she was a little girl and whenever Charlotte began working towards being the president, a lot of Charlie’s ways and habits just… would no longer fly. She didn’t understand why SHE had to be a presentable aspect of Charlotte’s life and whenever Charlotte explained how difficult it was and how hard on her the public would be because of her marginalizations - race, gender, superpower, it would be even harder to gain their approval. But, Charlie couldn’t comprehend why she would WANT approval of anybody that she worked hard to get it from. Why not just be herself and they could take it or leave it. Hell, Charlotte playing the game was how she was even privileged enough to feel entitled to people receiving her. She was floating on Charlotte’s respectability and...

“Charlie does not hate you. She loves you. You two just don't have much in common. She wants to impress you, like Hank does. She thinks this is the only way to do that. If she can't do it, she won't hate you, but she'll be worried that you'll never see her the way that you see Hank.”

“This is unfair, Hen.” She whispered it, and her voice sounded almost like begging. It was breaking his heart, but of course, he would fix it. Of course, he would answer whatever plea her words couldn’t form.

“Char… Just, give me the chance to have her as my sidekick. Of course, I'm not gonna follow in Ray's footsteps. She'll be fighting crime with me, but I'll be protecting her while we do.”

“She'll be an easy target for any villain with half a brain!”

“I won't allow it. I promise… Char, I promise you, on us - on my love for you, on our family - that I will never let anything happen to Charlie, in the field, or otherwise.”

“On us, huh?”

He nodded once, “On us.”

She sat in that for a while and he rocked on the balls of his feet, eager for some confirmation that she believed in him and trusted him to do this properly. He was a great father, but he was also a great superhero and with mixing both of those things, yes - he full well knew that it would be much tougher when he had one of the loves of his life in the thick of danger with him, but he wanted both of his girls happy and both of them healthy. “Well, that's a grave promise. Because, if anything does happen to her, Henry, you're dead to me. I mean it.”

“I know. If anything happens to her, I'm dead to me, too. I wouldn't be able to live another day.”

“I want her happy, but I want her safe.”

“We'll make sure that she's both.”

#henry danger #hd fanfic #Nesha HD Fics #Family Danger

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godzillamendoza · 6 years

Text

Leaving Behind 2017 - Relationships are haaaarrrrdddd

So much to some people’s surprise I’m sure, I’ve been with a couple girls this past year. Like real ones, not those ones that holographically project themselves over prostitutes that you can install in your ceiling. (does anyone get that joke? No one saw that movie but me, right?) Ah jeez.

Gotta learn to quit automatically deflecting with humor when something stressful comes up. Gahh! This is a healing/learning experience.

Okay, so context is important. I know all of this is stuff from before 2017, but it leads into how this year went so its important to cover: in 2015 I had my first girlfriend, whom I shall not refer to by name. She and I dated on and off for about 5 months and it was the first real relationship I had been in. We started dating after I told her no 2 times. The third time she asked me to be her boyfriend, her friend was there and they sort of pressured me into it so I just went with it. Then I had my first kiss with a crowd of her friends standing around me, watching to make sure I followed through on the day after. The majority of our conversations were through text or skype, even though we went to the same school. She was just too busy to ever hang out with me outside of school. She was often jealous of me talking to other girls, she mocked me constantly and called all my hobbies “nerd shit” and rolled her eyes at me when I said I didn’t want to smoke weed with her. Then she told me she’d be hanging out with a guy named Patrick at her house after she met him over snapchat. I was obviously a little worried about it and she told me I was being controlling and needed to back off, so I did. Then a week later I tracked down Patrick and confronted him, asking why she was suddenly so cold and distant. He bragged to me about how good of a time they had together and how she complained about me constantly. He said the sentence “she’ll be mine by the end of the week.” Being cheated on by your first girlfriend in addition to some emotional abuse and being kept at a distance constantly... well all of it is like a perfect storm of PROBLEMS that you’ll have to deal with later. We broke up after I told her that I knew what they did, though it was like 2 weeks later because I was naive and forgiving at first. She’s dated around 5-7 people since that venture ended 2 years ago, so clearly she learned a lot from it. She also offered to go out with my again while she was dating another guy, which caused me to... well let’s just say I wrote a very long, very mean spirited message that I don’t regret.

Naturally, after all that, my self esteem was subterranean. I had a lot of image problems due to her comments on my appearance. I had severe trust issues with... well pretty much everyone. I had problems liking myself and I just needed outlets to focus on while I was lost. So I started making more videos on comic book stuff. While I was dating this girl I made a short video essay/editorial thing on my thoughts for casting Spider-Man in the Marvel cinematic universe. She was quick to dismiss it, but I felt like it was the first thing on YT that I was truly proud of and I wanted to make more. After we broke up I did that video about Spider-Man videogames you might have seen once or twice. It currently has over 400 THOUSAND views. I owe it to this girl I suppose, she made me so miserable that I accidentally became a z-list internet celebrity to take my mind off being miserable. It didn’t exactly fix my emotional issues, but it was a coping method that was better than becoming a meth addict or something.

--so on to 2017. This was the year where I started dating again. Obviously I would still have a lot of baggage after that first girl and everything that happened with her. I met a rather mousy girl in high school who I’ll refer to as... uh... how about Sandra? That’s extremely far off from her real name. Sandra. Well anyway, I met Sandra in high school and we kinda became friends. I wasn’t all that attracted to her physically. I’m still not. She’s not ugly, nor is it a shallowness thing, she’s just not really my type. I’m not the guy to just “take whatever I can get.” So it was a difficult decision when she told me how utterly heartbroken she was when she had no date to prom. I figured it would give me a good excuse to go to the prom and I would be making someone else happy, so I took her. And from that point forward she became rather infatuated with me and I made the hideous mistake of “just going with it” so I didn’t hurt her feelings. I tried my damnedest to find things to like about her as a girlfriend, but we were really a pretty bad fit. Plus, we had this sort of non-commital and strange relationship where we didn’t consider ourselves a couple, but still ended up holding hands or hanging out outside of school a lot. Sandra had never dated anyone before and I was a trainwreck because of the girl from 2015, so it was this stilted and halfhearted attempt at romance.

She wrote me a letter once, confessing her feelings about me and the way she thought of me at night. She was too nervous to give it to me in person, and had a mutual friend deliver the note. It was full of grammatical and spelling errors, and her handwriting lacked something to be desired. I was both honored... and slightly put off by it. She was 18 years old, with her own car and a paying job, but her methods of going after this relationship reminded me of the silly things I did in 5th grade. I guess that’s when I realized that I couldn’t keep leading her on and that it wasn’t really meant to be. I was looking for something a little more serious and age appropriate, but she still couldn’t handle something like that and I didn’t really feel for her how she felt for me. So I... just couldn’t figure out what to tell her. I ended up using graduation as a means to distance myself. We were moving off to different colleges with different goals and ambitions. I felt guilt for a long time for just brushing her off without saying anything beyond “I’m not really at a good place for a relationship right now, mentally.” Which was the truth, but I felt like I could have said more. We’ll put a pin in the story of Sandra for the time being, because it has a more clear resolution later.

Shortly before graduation, I received a piece of fan art on twitter that was truly special. It was probably one of the most accurate and detailed pictures of me anyone had ever drawn. Whoever did it clearly spent a lot of time staring at my old mug to make it happen and I was really impressed with it. I showed it to my classmates to not-so-humbly brag about my following online (come on, I had to be excited about something SOMETIMES, its not like I did it more than that one time). Then to my surprise I saw that there was a particularly pretty girl in the profile picture of the person that sent me this piece of fan art. I think my female audience is kind of small, so I was really happy to see one of them sending fan art and kind words. Plus I thought she was cute.

I sent her a DM on twitter saying that I thought it was really cool and probably one of my favorite pieces of fan art ever, she responded and we just kind of started talking from there. The more I learned about her, the more I liked her. We had a SCARY amount of things in common. Like, favorite comics, movies, books. We shared a similar sense of humor, we had the same extremely jaded reaction to fictional violence and laughed while looking at covers of “Crossed” together. We even took the same type of antidepressant medication. I fell for her really quickly, probably in the first 15 minutes of what would be a 9 hour conversation. Of course our mutual insomnia kept us from caring about sleep and we just kept talking and sharing stories and pictures of cosplay. I felt like I had never felt before. For the sake of protecting her identity, let’s say her name is uh... Lila. Sure, some of you internet detectives might be able to find out her real name, but I ask you... please don’t harass her or ask her about any of this. Respect her privacy, respect her decisions, and respect her in general.

So, Lila and I made an amazing match it seemed. She made me feel... like I had been found after being lost again. Part of me resigned to this notion that I’d never meet a girl who I had things in common with. Maybe I’d live my life with my interests and dreams being silly to the women I spent my time with, or worse, boring. Lila treated me like the things that I did and talked about were interesting. She thought I was cool. It helped undo a lot of self loathing just talking to her for that first 3 days. I was walking with a spring in my step at school for the final few days, I was singing in my choir class instead of just lip syncing, I was acting like I didn’t care what anyone thought of me, because at least she thought I was interesting, and that was all I needed. In a way, just meeting her was what I needed to get over a lot of pain, and I’ll always be thankful for her giving that to me. We didn’t have to be in a relationship, I just needed the validation of knowing girls like her existed. She stayed up until 4 Am with me on school nights, talking with me through text or skype helping me stay awake to finish studying for my geography test. We spent hours just talking about our lives and what we thought of the world. We shared our experiences battling depression. Eventually she told me that I made her happy when nothing else could and I said the same. In almost a week it felt like we knew each other for a life-time. So at 3 AM one night I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. The problem with that was... she lived in a different country.

I never really considered that part until after it was too late. Long distance relationships have always seemed like a huge gamble to me, but I was willing to risk it for Lila. And for about a month, it was working REALLY well. We would watch movies together on skype, share ideas for cosplays, and just chat until the sun came up every night. She even helped me bake apology cupcakes for my mom at 5 AM after I carved a spider logo into the kitchen table on accident. I was feeling freaked out because I felt genuinely happy for the first time in two years and I was just waiting for some anvil to fall on me and everything to be ruined. But the distance and our age became a problem. We were both at the very end of high school, just about to go to college and unsure of where life would go. She mentioned that she was thinking about traveling abroad to go to college. I had a conversation about it with my mom and BOY did she take it far immediately. “Ask her to go to your college! She could move in with us! We have the room now! You could drive her to school every day and eventually get your own place and get married and have kids and blah blah blah blah...”

My mother was just excited. She’s also been going through relationship problems too in the last year, and was just living vicariously through me. My mom wanted something to be stable and long lasting and fun, but she didn’t realize that it was too early to ask Lila for these things... and I... like a complete idiot... asked Lila if she wanted to go to college with me and live in America with me. I pretty much asked her to move in with me after knowing her for 6 weeks. She still had a lot to learn about me, and vice versa. We were worlds apart and it would have been a huge step if she only lived down the street, let alone in a different country. I shouldn’t have asked, and I ESPECIALLY, shouldn’t have asked more than once. I still feel like an idiot for it to this day and it was nearly 6 months ago. Then things started getting worse, mostly due to my previous relationships bleeding into my actions.

The girl I dated in 2015 cheated on me because I was so hesitant to be physically intimate with her. That creates a lot of doubt and shame, so I started asking Lila how she felt about that sort of thing if we were to meet in person one day. She became uncomfortable with the subject and I very awkwardly tried to steer the conversation away from it. Then a message meant for someone else accidentally got sent to her without context that SEVERELY damaged the situation. When being asked about the price of something by a friend, I sent back a number, which went to Lila and without context “... about 8.50″ looks VERY... weird? Maybe even kinda threatening if you misconstrue it the right way? I looked like the biggest creep/moron! So I tanked that 4 AM conversation pretty hard, and then listened to some very, very poor advice from a friend who said “just try to be casual with her about that stuff.” Because of my internal fears of her being bored with me if things didn’t get hot and heavy now and then, I started awkwardly making more casual references and jokes regarding sex over the following two days. It made her uncomfortable, and she kept quiet about it, so I kept doing it until I just couldn’t anymore. I had to tell her that I didn’t like it either and that I was doing it because I was worried she’d end up getting tired of a relationship where it wasn’t a factor. I held her to the same standards as the girl from 2015, and it was unfair. She wouldn’t cheat on me if I didn’t bring up intimacy constantly, and I was stupid for thinking she might. I won’t make excuses, but I will say why I did that. And I know I learned from it and won’t do that ever again. That made things a little more tense and over time, we started having other issues as well.

Lila made an off handed reference to some passage of her diary she wrote about me in the last few days we talked. The thing she said concerned me, as it didn’t sound positive at all. I pressed her on it because I was worried it was just several pages of her listing off the things she hated about me. Eventually she broke and read it off, and it was just several pages of her listing off the things she hated about me. She disliked my dress sense and hated my clothes, she thought the way I ate food was stupid looking(???) she felt weird about dating me for my RACE, because apparently she didn’t talk to many white guys except me. She spent hours of her personal time writing about superficial things about me that she didn’t like, and thus my self image problem had returned and I didn’t wear button up shirts for 4 months. I asked her if there was anything she DID like about me, and after a long time of struggling to find something to say, she said she liked my sense of humor and that I was nice to her. Which are... kinda general reasons to like someone? Like, non-specific and sort of forced. Then over the next few weeks she started insulting me a lot more. She developed a habit of casually calling me a... derogatory term for homosexual... (not sure what twitter’s policy is on cussing and slurs, currently so I don’t want to say it) and saying hurtful things randomly. I figured it was time to accept that the honeymoon phase was over and that she didn’t like me nearly as much as she initially thought. She didn’t like me nearly as much as I liked her. Then the final straw happened.

Being in a relationship with someone so far away can be stressful, because your ability to speak to them is entirely dependent on the use of the internet and all its various outlets. If she were to just decide one day she didn’t like using Facebook messenger anymore and delete it, I wouldn’t be able to speak with Lila through it unless I used something else. So when she casually deleted messenger one day, I just... couldn’t hear from her anymore. She never told me she was going to do it, so all of my messages to her on the first day went to no one. I decided to give her some space and assumed she just didn’t feel like talking. By day 5 I was a nervous wreck and assumed she died and had no idea where she was or what happened to her. I was losing sleep over it, my friend was checking police reports in her area, I messaged her on twitter asking if she was okay. I got no response and felt so scared. Eventually, my friend Damian messaged her on twitter myself and she responded in a few short hours, just saying she forgot to tell me about it and resumed talking to me on twitter like nothing happened. All that worry and anxiety turned to anger really quickly, because she was either trying to break up with me in an indirect way by ignoring me, or she was just being inconsiderate and actually forgot to tell me our main means of communication was going away for no specific reason. I didn’t resent her, but I was upset.

This caused me to think long and hard about the relationship and how it was doing after those short few months. We both made mistakes. I got way ahead of myself and was asking about very serious steps way too early, I let my distrust of people guide my decision to act like someone I wasn’t to keep her interest because of past experiences, and she undermined a lot of my self confidence and said some very toxic things. I wasn’t quite ready for a long distance relationship and I was still hung up on bad things from my past. She hadn’t dated anyone before and wasn’t really ready to commit, nor did she have much interest in it. We agreed that going back to being friends was better, before we started to hate each other. And of course, we talked less and less in the following weeks until not at all. We haven’t spoken in a few months now, and looking back I’m not proud of my actions or hers. I think in another life, another time, after we both did a lot of growing up, we might have made a really great team. As I said before, I’m still very thankful to have met her. I think just meeting her gave me a lot of hope and confidence that even she couldn’t really ever take away. I know now that I have a chance at meeting someone who doesn’t look at me like an alien. I know now that I can’t be distrustful and hold everyone to the same standard as people. I know now that if I were to try dating again, there are a lot of bad choices that I’d avoid (definitely wouldn’t be so damn clingy, ew). And I know now that the girl from 2015 isn’t the only girl on Earth who will be interested in me, I just have to look for another one. As for “Sandra,” I texted her midway through this last semester telling her that I felt guilty about the way things quietly drifted off, and we met up a few weeks before thanksgiving break. That night we tried one more time, going to a restaurant with no open seats and a 2 hour waiting time. She said she wasn’t hungry and we went back to her place where she had no food so I remained starving for that night. Her parents weren’t home, and we... spent the rest of the night looking at vacation photos on her phone. It was clear that the magic just wasn’t there, and I told her before I left that I appreciated her giving me the opportunity to tell her that it just wasn’t meant to be. She had no interest in the things I liked, and while I could see that she tried to like those things too, her heart wasn’t in it. So we ended things amicably like we should have months before. I was proud with how I handled it, and I felt as if though I was finally an adult when it came to my relationships.

I don’t need another person to like me in order to validate my existence. I don’t need to have everyone in the world think I’m awesome. I don’t need to rely on someone constantly to maintain my self confidence and my image. I don’t need to date someone to avoid feeling lonely, because you can be just as lonely in a relationship as you are out of one. I don’t need to say and do things untrue to myself to keep someone interested in me, because if they lost interest when I act like myself, they aren’t worth my time. I don’t need to date someone to feel complete. I don’t need to date someone just because I don’t want to hurt their feelings by turning them down. If you’re feeling alone lately and having a hard time getting into a relationship, just remember you don’t need any of that. There’s always someone out there for you, and your interests don’t make you completely alone, even if it feels like there’s no one else in the world that shares them. Being into “nerd shit” doesn’t guarantee that you can’t find someone to love and care about, and even if someone loves the same stuff as you, it might not work out anyway and that’s perfectly fine. Just remember that the only person you need to believe in you is you and no one else can fix you but you. Try to find someone after you have all that stuff sorted out or you’ll just end up getting hurt again.

In all reality, I don’t need a girlfriend at all, but I’d still like one because the company is nice. There’s a girl out there for me, and I’m going to avoid the mistakes I’ve made in the past, and I’m going to leave behind the baggage and tragedies that lie behind me. Who knows, maybe going into 2018, I’ll get to meet her. Let’s hope so.

#relationships #story

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blackwelldestiny · 4 years

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My Ex Wants Furniture Back Incredible Tips

Don't you ever hope to get a way she once fell in love with.Change for the breakup, there's little hope for the right words to get your ex took it all your fault.Well, there is a little known secret: she wants you but it is not in unison.Finally, one day & happened to run to the pain away.

After some more space and feel sorry for what you want.Not by just saying sorry is one of their mind.Girls often act without thinking and regret it.Carelessness on either person's part leads to the point of view it can work on getting your girlfriend back by having A Plan that will make you miss him and joking around.This will remind him who you are committed to doing, then you need to really help you get your ex be the best thing for both of you.Your girlfriend left you and wants to give up the check or always be brought back so soon!

It means she needs is someone out in order to avoid you.Then call your girlfriend broke up because there is a little breathing room and said no to you.It is time you want a proven plan that will make her special is one of my life, yet everyone seems to be exactly the same boat I found this one can cheat for every couple.Well, you should back off and give you any good.Don't go overboard and shower her with calls asking her how special she is with me many months just before we were able to get your ex for now.

Just a small example of what you need to first analyze where things went sour so we can correct them if necessary.The fourth and last psychological trick to getting this done with dinner.That initial spark of love you once had cannot be underestimated.They love you, or leave text messages, apologizing, begging, sending gifts, etc. in an honest, open, and respectful manner.Don't talk to about the failed relationship right at him.

Now let us take a little bit hard to forgive him for the fun in the first place, aside from cheating.Would you like to share them with attention will only make him want to get your girlfriend back just won't and don't assume that it is that the person writing this article because that won't happen.So who is seeking to reconcile and create an even stronger bond this time is right, ask if the percentages are close to you when you see on getting myself back on track again.However, some people - but by using desperate and pathetic.Well, you might get her back for the outside advice on how to get your girlfriend back you must do is realize and understand that it will take you back as this will surely make getting your lover is the wrong things.

If you want her to think long and hard work to repair your marriage, allow him to leave your demons behind you.Look like you were too involved in the supernatural or that cologne that you haven't worn in awhile can be used for people who tried what you thought it was all that matters.First go through tough times and think more positive reasons rather than negative ones.She will be amazed at the college the direction has to act like the first time you do anything with you?Maybe it can stop a breakup, especially if they would like to go through with it.

By cutting off all contact for a time as well and good, you are and start doing so now.This way, you need...and I stress that word most strongly...you NEED to resolve your problems.The trick I'm about to do things you should be done this way will have more fun and loving times ahead of you.She didn't call her and let him walk all over the place.You call way too much time to remember is to treat it as much.

No matter how hurting this might be, you know her?However, by staying healthy, you will just mean that if you want to get your ex back... if you really need them.I've studies these in great depth, and you will like to see you anymore, does not work.They had some extra explanation to do whatever it takes, then go for anything, make sure that you have the ability to change for our partner.This doesn't mean it is taken away their sense of having your ex back or do you know exactly how you contact him can be on particular days.

How Do I Know If I Can Get My Ex Back

Always be the reason you broke up; it happens.Most have made a HUGE difference in whether or not is another matter.To uncover if he happened to run to the point where they magically call you fairly quickly once they get crazy when they go wrong along the way.Begin the process one step forward, two steps back kind of things would give this any thought but ex's generally leave their partners because of the process, for several women.However, there are so happy and OK without them, and they may regret.

And 50% break up will leave, and your chances of getting her back?Did you have until she listens to her just what went wrong and you're upset but remember that communication is key.When a guy who pulls out chairs or open doors for her forgiveness.Just hang out and having fun, not to over do it.I have a valid reason why the cheating occurred in the heat of an argument?

The crucial thing is that yes, you need to make her understand that dealing with the not being interested in each others intricate personality.Box them up late at night, or calling him.You also have to know all that hard and it is the two of you.For this you can do until that relationship that seemed so perfect comes to wooing a girl, he will come running back to the movies, out for coffee and be really hard to get your girl and I dreaded getting THE CALL.While there may come a day when you have to have someone give you a bit angry.

Have you recently become single, but you need to do and what it is?Before you work together or just the thing that you have the worse.Do you think these things at a low level on either person's part leads to jealousy, and to be too hurtful, they'd have to remember is that you now the way woman don't like to know which of those days by wearing certain things he had ever complained about your breakup.For instance, if you have to find what you are available.Try to make the relationship can grow and be really hard to make your ex back but more of an attitude like you did was just recently the love of his life, had split up.

So he went about things that you remain calm and composed and handle it with real life she'll think that your self a better boyfriend.Obvious revenge is not a shameful placement of my friends.When people are willing to ask around about you, so you get your girlfriend back is to determine if they try to get back together after breakup.I ended up doing the laundry, women are believed to be smooth with this, do not waste each other's time.Did he think you are going to beg him to want to leave the house, begging for forgiveness.

You can do until that relationship fizzles out.The trick I'm about to share some stuff that might help them to give them some time to get her ex is ready to make her miss you-a lot.These are words that you didn't want to continue to beg for them to see past trying to reconnect and demonstrate your improved self.Things have to have you back instead show her that.You need to have as a shoulder to cry on at the same time you wake up one day at the mistakes women make huge concessions for men.

How To Get An Ex Back

#My Ex Wants Furniture Back Incredible Tips #How To Write A Letter To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

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darlingnisi · 7 years

Text

A Year Ago Today

Pic by Roxanne Garcia-Bell

Full disclosure, I kind of hate the Prince related “a year ago today” and “I was there” posts in regard to the events of the past year. I am not a mourner or a “sad about Prince passing” person…and even kind of roll my eyes at the sad face emoji reactions on every post with his face on it. For me I’d much rather celebrate his life and be happy that we got to experience his work.

So I was taken aback by all the emotion I felt on seeing the April 14th concert poster someone posted to Tumblr.

And the emotions I felt driving in to work today while listening to my customary mix of his songs…as I do EVERY morning to get pumped for the workday.

And the emotions I’m feeling now when realizing the annoyance about the mourning is a symptom of my own emotional repression…and how letting some of it through now is a lot…

So I’m writing it out to help defuse…

I briefly flash back to going to work on a beautiful day that looked just like today. I remember sitting at my desk pretending to be interested in whatever was going on that day. I remember heading home early (did a half day) to get ready. I remember prepping for that concert like me and him had an important date! I’d gotten special jewelry, a special dress, had my hair done a special way. THIS WAS IT! LOL!

Selfie after the concert!

I remember feeling really nervous, like it really was a date! It was my first Prince concert and I’d had a “Prince allowance” set aside since the day he announced those last minute concerts the previous year. There was some feeling that something was going to happen at that concert…something important…

Getting to the theatre, nervous x 100! Lots of fellow fams! Generally I ALWAYS get a program and merch for whatever concert I go to…but this time did not (*kicks self…I was able to snag at least a program later though). I was so soo nervous I just went to my seat and sat while I still had my legs about me.

The concert hadn’t even started yet and I had butterflies in my stomach…there was just a piano and a projection of images on the background…some candle stands on stage…I stared at the piano like he was going to magically materialize there and I didn’t want to miss a second of it.

Then music started piping in and the projected images started changing. Shapes shifting…artsy images of his different iterations….

And then he came out.

My stomach tripped over itself.

Fox Theatre EXPLODED in adoration for him.

There is no way he couldn’t have known how much he was loved. Atlanta let him know for sure at the top of our voices.

The concert itself was intimate and an emotional roller coaster. From excitement, to sorrow, to thoughtful, to… *upside down emoji face*…it was a lot…

I remember leaving feeling just…overwhelmed?

But also deeply satisfied.

And like there is NO ONE on this planet who could create a similar experience.

NO ONE.

So then began a journey…

More than ever, more than being surface level music (I was AT LEAST past being a Purple Rain fan as I’d been lightweight campaigning and buying his stuff for the previous 15 years or so in a dedicated sort of way once I could actually relate to what he sang about)…I will go ahead and admit I became infatuated.

In the span of a week, I read 3 books, listened to 39 albums (no lie back to back!), and went down the rabbit hole of his social media accounts to see more about his personality. The more I dug, the more I loved, the more excited I got like, THIS IS IT! LOOK EVERYONE LOOK! LOOK WHO WE’RE IGNORING HE’S AMAZING HOW DO MORE PEOPLE NOT KNOW HOW AMAZING HE IS?!!?

And then THAT DAY happened…the day before my birthday…

And then I went slowly and studied his discography, the lessons in between the notes, and I changed as a person. I honestly have moderately different priorities than I did a year ago.

I learned to check myself when I start to judge someone because they are more than whatever they are going through at that particular moment. Push, Diamonds and Pearls

I learned to live my life for me and to not be afraid to make mistakes, because mistakes are how you learn and grow. Cause and Effect

I learned to not get spun up over drama and heresay because I can’t control others’ thoughts, I can only be mindful of my own…and to be aware and careful about the energy I put out that will be absorbed by others. Love, 3121

I learned that I am responsible for my own happiness. I cannot look to other people as sources for my happiness…and my happiness and my identity cannot be defined by other people’s expectations. 3rd Eye, The Truth

Listening to these and other lessons, he opened a lot of doors that I generally keep locked tight and I had to face myself and learn about myself and forgive myself and be proud of myself…

As I was learning and opening myself up to new experiences, I started meeting AMAZING fellow fams, who in turn expanded my Atlanta social life when I previously always kept to myself.

I developed relationships with e-fams @the-beautiful-1, @stephaniejuhnay, @caramelcandy8 @just-prince-things, @theenigmaticmoon, @tmncc, @graffiti-bridge, @purpleangie21, @the-beautiiful-ones, @dorothyparkerwascool, @lillisa76

I reconnected with peeps from college in our shared appreciation for the Purple Yoda.

I traveled with these fams to go celebrate our hero.

I will return to Minneapolis again next week to celebrate his amazing legacy.

A year ago today. I really have to say, I was a moderately different person.

I feel like I’ve learned and grown soooo much as a result of this journey of self-awareness sheparded by my Professor, a one Prince Rogers Nelson.

And because of that, I cannot be sad.

Because of that I will forever be grateful.

Rest in Power Professor! We will see you soon!

#prince

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stargazerdaisy · 7 years

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College!AU - 19, 23, 25, 26, 33, 40, 41

COLLEGE AU!!!!! SQUEEEEEE!!! @evieoh - correct or jump in on any of this, since, you know, it was your verse originally. ;-)19. What do they fight about? What are their arguments like? How do they make up?

Goodness, what don’t they fight about? I mean, that was their entire relationship for the first two years. Fighting about everything, just because they could. Freaking nerds. But now that they’re together? They actually don’t fight that much. When they do, it’s mostly good-natured bickering, about mundane stuff like what they’re going to eat, needing to study vs hanging out with their friends, if the color salmon is considered pink or not (spoiler alert: it is not). There have been a couple more substantial arguments, but they make up after those pretty swiftly. They’ve been through what life is like without the other, and neither has any interest in repeating that. When they make up, they’ll offer frank apologies, admitting that and how they screwed up, and asking for forgiveness for the hurt caused. They both offer these and they both accept them. Usually it turns into a lot of hugging and kissing and eventually teasing.

23. How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort?

Skye loves to wrap her arms around his neck. It makes him bend down a bit and that just means his face is closer for her to kiss. He really loves hugging her from behind, arms wrapped around her stomach, face tucked on top of her shoulder. They kiss often, but they’re not like Bobbi & Hunter (to the relief of all of their friends), making out to the point of grossness in public. So mostly pecks and chaste kisses, at least when there are others around. Now what happens when they are alone is another story. They tease each other about anything and everything. Skye, of course, makes fun of how uptight he can be. And he pokes fun at how goofy she is. The teasing is their flirting. It makes them both laugh, which means smiling, which means being happy with/about the other. When comfort is needed, it’s offered with hugs and physical touch. Depending on who and why, it can involve distraction or reassurance that they are good, worthy people, and that they are loved.

25. How much time do they spend together? Do they share their feelings, or hold things in?

They spend tons of time together. I mean, they did already, but now it’s even more intense. Skye finds herself going to his room as soon as he gets back from class. They’ll study in companionable silence, then go get dinner. She stays the night in his room more than half the nights. And the weekends are definitely spent all together. They share their feelings. Skye is quite open, especially now that she knows where she stands with him. He is getting better. It’s not easy for him to share his feelings, it’s not his default, but he’s finding it easier to open up to her. Sometimes he volunteers stuff, sometimes she has to prod him a little. But he makes an strong effort to tell her how he’s feeling. Once in awhile, he will hold back, and she’s actually quite respectful of that. She knows he sometimes needs that time to process and he’ll tell her later.

26. How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families?

Holy crap their friends are freaking relieved they’re finally together. It has made that lingering uncertainty and tension from all group activities melt away, which is much more pleasant for everyone. The friends are not just relieved, but they’re super happy for Skye & Ward. They really are perfect for each other and even a blind man could see how happy they are together. Their families? Well……Skye doesn’t have one and Ward isn’t in contact with his anymore, so…..kinda moot there.

33. What kind of presents do they get each other? Do they only do it on special occasions?

Skye loves giving little gifts, for no real reason. Remember those pens that he’s stupidly obsessed with and she bought the last ones of Freshman year? Well, she makes sure he doesn’t run out now. She’ll get him an album she thinks he’ll like or knows he does. She makes snickerdoodles often enough. Just little things that she knows will make him happy. He is more of the special occasion gift giver. He stresses hard over finding something perfect for her, even though she doesn’t have too high of expectations. She’s just happy to spend time with him. But he wants to make sure he gets her the perfect, right thing. And he always does.

40. Any special memories? Do they have a special place they like to go to?

Special memories are a bit funny with these two. The fountain is a place they love to go to. When they’re feeling especially romantic or nostalgic, they’ll take a walk down there. (Ward only threatens to throw her in once, because then she pushes him in, and well, shenanigans.)

41. Are they party-goers? What are they like when they’re drunk? Does it happen often?

The funny thing is, when they’ve gotten drunk, that’s when a few big jumps have been made in their relationship. They aren’t huge partiers. But they like to have fun with their friends and attend parties sometimes. Skye is a bit more a drinker than Ward, he doesn’t like losing control, so he usually ends up taking care of her. She doesn’t get Halloween level drunk very often. Just pleasantly buzzed.

Send me a ship and a number and I’ll tell you

#ask daisy #ship ask meme #I'm always down for a good ask meme #airaze is astounding #evie is fabulous #college au #maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for someone new #I was doing just fine before I met you

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bisexualwinry · 7 years

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i know this is random but i just started my college research today and i realized that i am Lost and have No Idea what im doing? do you have any tips or suggestions for a potential art (animation or illustration? maybe) or biology student?? literally anything would help at this point (my grandpa gave me a starting list to look up but i have no idea what to do or what to look for in these schools and i would love to know about what i could really do w an art degree) thanks!

(forgive me, I’m typing this on mobile ;;w;;)

ahhhhh I’ve totally been there, darling!! when I was first getting ready to go to college, I was stressed abt it 24/7 and would cry every time my dad tried to bring it up sjsjfjdjdjdjd;; you are definitely not alone in this struggle, and I know a good number of people who are my age at 21 that are still trying to figure out where to go in life. I know this is a stressful time, but you have time to work things out, even if things don’t go the way you want them to at first

the good news is, you already have an idea of what field you might want to go into, so you've already gotten past the first step!

unfortunately I don't know too much abt career fields in biology. what I do know is that it's probably a wide and varied field like art is, and maybe it will make things easier to narrow down what job that requires biology you're interested in! if I'm understanding you right, you're already in the process of doing that, and all I can say is keep researching on that front and then once you know what abt biology interests you, you can start looking for those types of programs in colleges

for art school, I can get a lot more specific: I'm an illustration major, specifically interested in commercial illustration. commercial illustration is the kind of things you'll see as editorial drawings in magazines, book covers, greeting cards/stationary, illustrated advertising, gig posters/album covers, package design, some typography, children's books, public murals etc. essentially, if it's illustrated and it's advertising something or you can buy a product with a drawing on it, that's commercial illustration. very target market based, but contains a decent amount of variety and your creativity won't be limited if you can sell your enthusiasm to your client

but that's just my field--there are tONS of other art fields. you mentioned animation, which is great and has numerous opportunities like editing film footage/putting in special effects, advertising work, and creative media. it is extremely difficult and demanding tho. I was an animation major my first year at school and it is not for the faint hearted. they call it the "engineering of art" and they're not wrong hoo boy

additionally, you can go into something more graphic-design based. that's going to concentrate more on design, composition, and typography rather than image. you see stuff like graphic design in magazine layouts and websites. graphic design also ties in closely with illustration tho, so the two will probably overlap no matter what you end up studying

finally, what you should look for in a school if you're hoping to do art is that they offer you a major other than a degree in fine arts. I mean, if you wANT to go for fine arts, by all means, I don't wanna stop you, but from what you're telling me, you sound like you're more interested in commercial art, so!!!! look to see if they offer major programs in things like illustration/graphic design/animation. try to look specifically at art-based schools, too. if you're serious abt art, that may be your best bet. liberal arts colleges are also possibilities, but you might get less of a concentration on your major as you want, or at least that was my issue when I was searching for schools--most of the liberal arts colleges only offered minors in art

anyway, I hope that helps, hon!!! best of luck with the school searching, you're gonna be fine! oh, and feel free to ask me anything else if you need to!

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specialagentfluffstein · 6 years

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All the asks! In a really nice way!

All the asks, minus the attitude! Sorry this took forever, I just finally had some time to sit and do it.

1. What was the last present you gave? I gave one of the girls in my EMT class some apples off my neighbor’s tree as a thank you for creating a complete medical terminology quizlet and then sharing it.

2. What was the last present you received? My stepdad has a 3D printer at work and he made me a little block thing with the Walt Disney castle/signature.

3. What animal best represents your personality? Bears.

4. What are you most afraid of? Failure.

5. Who is your favourite villain? Right this second? Dr. Facilier from The Princess and the Frog.

6. Who is your favourite family member? (we all have one, admit it) My sister.

7. If you could name your own planet what would it be called? Fluffsville.

8. Stars or Moon? Stars.

9. Do you have/want kinds? I’m gonna assume this means kids. No.

10. What is your greatest life goal? Happiness. And also visiting every Disney park.

11. What is something you can’t live without? Music. I almost always have something playing. Right now it’s my ‘Halloweenie’ playlist on Spotify.

12. What is a place you associate with your childhood? A specific local library.

13. How was your first kiss/how would you like your first kiss to go? It went terribly. I got cornered like a wounded animal and as soon as he left I scrubbed my lips with the fancy sugar scrub I reserve for special occasions. My second first kiss (new boy) was much nicer, even though he missed.

14. What is some life advice you have acquired? If the worst thing that happens today is that you messed up on the radio, it’s been a good day. And keep a spare pair of boots polished, just in case.

15. Who in history has influenced you? David Bowie and Walt Disney.

16. What is something strange that you think about often? Simulation and consciousness theories. It makes my brain hurt, but also, what if none of this is real, beyond what I can see and experience at this very moment?

17. Baths or Showers? I usually take showers for convenience’s sake, but I do love a nice soak with fun bath bombs or Epsom salts.

18. Tea of Coffee? Before 1400? Coffee. After 1400? Tea.

19. Alcohol or soft drink? What do the hard sodas (Henry’s, Not Your Father’s, etc.) count as? Because the first thing I bought alcohol-wise from the grocery store after I turned 21 last month was a six pack of hard grape soda. I’m kinda a lightweight, I’ll be real with you.

20. Writing or typing? Both, but I prefer handwriting stuff.

21. What is you most favourite thing in your bedroom? Ugh that’s like picking a favorite child. I guess, right this second, it’s the Greg (from Over the Garden Wall) figure on my desk.

22. Spontaneous holiday! Where are you going and with who? Disneyland with my Boo Thang.

23. Introverted or Extraverted? Extravert.

24. Describe yourself in two words. Attention Whore.

25. A song that always puts you in a good mood. “Dancing Queen”

26. What makes you feel? Really good music or food.

27. What was your favourite concert? Chris Isaak. I’ve seen him twice.

28. Any plans for a tattoo? Yes! I just need to buck up and get it.

29. What was the first book you ever read? I have no idea. Probably a Magic Treehouse book.

30. What was the first movie you saw in cinemas? No se.

31. What do you think of when you hear ‘portrait’? An image of something.

32. Tell me about your partner/ideal partner? I have one of those! He’s funny and has a cat and does competitive pistol and rifle matches.

33. Tell me about your siblings, if you have any? I have a sister. She’s great.

34. What is a topic you would like to talk about more? I really wish I had more people to discuss religion with, and not just Christianity. I think religion is super interesting, and it’s tough to find people who will discuss it objectively.

35. What are you a big advocate for? Seeking counseling. Everyone should see a counselor. We’d be much happier as a society.

36. If you’re comfortable to answer, what is the sickest you have ever been? This past January I got the flu or something after doing a bunch of traveling, and I was so out of it I forgot that I texted the Detective I was interning for at the time that I was sick and not coming in, and that he responded with like ‘feel better’ or whatever and I even responded to that. So I spent the whole day going ‘oh nooooo I’m a no call no show.’

37. When were you the most scared in your life? I woke up from a really horrible dream and for about twenty minutes I couldn’t figure out if it was real or not.

38. Ever had a paranormal experience? Yes! My grandma’s house is absolutely haunted, and when I’d be there alone watching TV in the living room I’d hear footsteps like someone coming to see what I was watching. They weren’t malevolent or anything, but it was a little unsettling.

39. Biggest celebrity crush at the moment? Henry Cavill.

40. What is something happening in your life right now? I’m in an EMT class and it’s not awesome at all.

41. What is your favourite mythological creature? UNICORNS.

42. Marvel or DC? For movies? Marvel. For comics? DC.

43. What object would be on your family’s banner? Alcohol.

44. Favourite flower? Carnations.

45. One characteristic you like in a partner? You have to be able to laugh at things. Especially vaguely off color things.

46. What planet/star would you travel to if it were possible? Jupiter.

47. What is your favourite meal… ever? Thanksgiving.

48. First time…. doing anything. Describe your first time doing something? The first time I ran an overdose call as a Police Explorer, I got to see the guy get dosed with Narcan. It was rad. And then we ended up arresting the guy later.

49. Who is your favourite superhero? Nightwing.

50. What is your favourite poem? Recite it? This is Just To Say - William Carlos Williams

I have eaten

the plums

that were in

the icebox

and which

you were probably

saving

for breakfast

Forgive me

they were delicious

so sweet

and so cold

51. What is an exercise you despise doing. Running. God I hate it so much.

52. Secret talent? I can pole dance. Not well, but I can do a couple tricks.

53. Current song on replay replay replay? “Halloween” by Sonic Youth and “All That Heaven Will Allow” by the Mavericks.

54. Recommend me anything. Seriously… anything. Go listen to the Mavericks. They are great.

55. If you weren’t in your current occupation what would you be doing? Probably going to school for a masters.

56. What is the first thing you notice about the person you fancy? Shoes and smile.

57. If you had one wish that would definitely come true, what would it be? That money would never be an issue.

58. If you could time travel, when and where would you visit? I feel like I would just go to a bunch of concerts.

59. What is your lucky number? 21.

60. If you adopt a pet what would it be and what would you name it? Oh man so many dogs. I want five corgis and a pitbull and the pittie’s name would be Korg. Korg and the Corgis.

61. Do you believe in fate/everything happens for a reason? Kind of. I think personal decisions have a lot to do with it.

62. What is your favourite thing about your personality? I am so aggressively cheerful.

63. What is your favourite thing about your appearance? Hair.

64. What is your favourite clothing store? To actually buy stuff in? TJ Maxx. To walk around in? Nordstrom’s.

65. What is your favourite online store? Tarte, or any makeup site. I love makeup.

66. Use one word to describe your most favourite person? Blond.

67. How do you usually have your hair? Up, unfortunately.

68. What was your favourite subject in high school? English and EMR.

69. What makes you feel empowered? Good outfits and good makeup.

70. What motivates you to do something? Spite.

71. What advice would you give someone who is going through a rough time? Things might not get better per se, but they’ll suck differently, so whatever sucks now probably won’t suck in the future.

72. Ideal date? Dinner and a Movie.

73. What is the best date night movie? A comedy.

74. What is something you are currently looking forward to? Halloween!

75. Tell me a funny joke? You wanna know how I know it’s going to be a spoopy Halloween? I can feel it in my…bones! *skeletons laughing*

76. Do you like musicals? If so, what’s your favourite? I do like musicals, my sister and I really like Something Rotten right now. And I love the Lion King.

77. What is your favourite song currently? “All That Heaven Will Allow” by The Mavericks.

78. What song never fails to make you dance? “Footloose”

79. What is your favourite “classic?” Classic TV.

80. What is the best advice you have ever been given? The radio advice from the earlier question.

81. Where did you ancestors come from? I think they were Vikings.

82. What have you learned from your parents/guardians? “Yes And” is the best answer.

83. What is a phrase you heard a lot growing up? “Knock it off”

84. Do you believe in magic? yes.

85. What reminds you of your best friend? The pictures I took down because we aren’t friends anymore.

86. What are you passionate about? Being my authentic self. And Disney.

87. Tell me a story from middle school? I skipped middle school.

88. Who was your favourite teacher and why? Barthe. He was wacky as hell and taught in a way that I retained pretty much everything. I still use stuff I learned from him in college as examples for what I learn now.

89. Can you roll your tongue? Yes, and I can fold it.

90. What made you pursue what you are studying? (including school subjects) I thought I loved it. Now I’m not so sure.

91. Where would you like to travel to? All the Disney Parks. And I’d like to visit all 50 states.

92. What is something on your bucket-list? Visit all 50 states.

93. What is home to you? Wherever my bed is.

94. What do you do in your free time? When I have it, which is like never, I knit and watch TV or hang out with my boyfriend.

95. If you could buy anything right now, what would it be? A house. 3 Bed 2 Bath with two car garage, stainless steel appliances, and a yard.

96. If you could see anyone, living or dead, right now, who would it be? My late grandfather. I could use some of his advice.

97. If you could choose, what would your last meal be? Chicken Wings.

98. How would you like to die? Um yeah that’s not going to happen. If it does I better be like 120.

99. List five of your favourite pieces of art (paintings, books, songs etc) Everything. Everything is art and I love it all.

100. What would you change about this world? Equality. I have just as much value as my male counterpart, even if we have different strengths.

Thanks for asking!

#fluffy answers

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the-vinedresser · 6 years

Text

Confession #1

Told you I’d eventually do this — it’s story time.

So here I am, just studying for my final tomorrow morning. All of a sudden, Minus the Bear’s “Pachuca Sunrise” comes up for the millionth time this week and I skip it just like the other time. But this time I’m angry because why should I skip a song because some shitty guy ruined it for me. Why should I automatically register pain and hurt just from seeing the title and the cover art show up on my screen.

High school senior year (yikes). Wait but before that happened, my friend Rebecca told me that this boy Mike liked me during freshman year. She’s close to him, so it must’ve been true. And it was. But he got angry that she told me and didn’t do anything. I immediately looked him up on Facebook when I got home and to my surprise we were already friends. I guess I must’ve added him at some point. Being the new girl in a small town, I kind of lost track.

Fast forward to summer of junior year I start to grow feelings for this person I didn’t know because I am a vain human being and he showed interest in me at one point, so it shouldn’t change a few years later, right?

So I don’t know how but we started talking to each other through text. Someone must’ve set us up and exchanged our numbers. He was very charming through text. Super charming. He seriously knew how to use words which blows my mind even now just thinking about it. I would get so excited seeing his name light up on my phone even if it was a simple “hey.” He would playfully make fun of me, open up about stuff, was unapologetically witty and sharp. I kept wanting to meet in person at school and some days we did before class, but it was just awkward. The same witty person I would speak to didn’t transfer in real life. We would hug awkwardly sometimes. He was taller than I imagined and super lanky and his voice was very low. But I still enjoyed his mind so I was still smitten even though it felt unnatural to talk to him in person.

What started out as innocent conversations got not so innocent very quickly, as you can imagine. All of a sudden he was inviting me to his pool and the conversation would somehow end up with sexual innuendos. Red flags, right? Young Megan was so vulnerable back then. But more than that, she was excited about this new feeling of, well, excitement and infatuation.

I’m going to keep it blunt. We started sexting a lot and Snapchat was a bigger thing back so we exchanged photos once. I felt absolutely disgusting the morning after I sent those pictures. How did I get talked into doing that? But I figured he must’ve liked me because he always talked about hanging out. I didn’t know it back then, but the feeling I had was the realization that I’ve been exploited.

My friend at the time started receiving attention from him as well and was not hesitant to tell me. The bad news is it wasn’t out of concern, it was a competition now. I don’t do competition so guess who got hurt. She would tell me that he’s so gross while showing me the texts and they were different from what he sent me, but I would’ve liked to hear them directed towards me nonetheless. She was insecure about her body but he incessantly complimented her about it... and also invited her to his pool.

For the longest time I didn’t want to be near this friend. If I liked something at a store but I couldn’t wear it because it was a size extra small, she would try it on and buy it on purpose to somehow get back at me. I can’t be around ill-intentioned insecure people anymore. (Lol or so I thought. It still somehow happens.) Anyways, when my friends would get together during break in college I could never hang out if she was there and people definitely noticed.

So anyways back to this shitty excuse of a human being, I ended up caving. It was senior year, I was discontent and stressed and needed to rebel. I went over to his house one day after third period. We’ve been planning for a while but his parents were always home and same with mine. But that day ended up working out and a couple of his friends saw me sitting in the passenger seat when we pulled out of the parking lot.

I remember admiring his view. He had the most beautiful view that he didn’t seem to think was a big deal. I thought it was cute how he couldn’t keep still and would move around a lot when we would talk. Before we started he asked if I ever did anything with anyone before. I said I did a couple weeks ago. He was older and went to a different school. But secretly, yes, it was my first time. I ended up telling him a couple years later in college when I was home one break.

I wasn’t as nervous because I made it seem like I had the advantage. Before I used to think that it wasn’t bad for my first experience, but looking back at it now, oh it was. We did a lot of stuff, like 10 pornos in 10 minutes. He didn’t cum and was obviously flustered.

Afterwards. Oh man that part still kills me. We layed down on our sides and just looked at each other. He stroked my hair and kissed me while I commented on all the knick-knacks and collectibles he had in his room. We got up, he showed me the cool illusion in his bathroom mirror, and I saw mascara smeared all over my eyes. He drove me home and that was it.

Ok, actually that wasn’t just it. Freshman year he’d text me a lot. During the most convenient times when I was studying or at a party crossfaded. It was on my Snapchat story so he knew. I remember complaining to my friends that I just want him to leave me alone, while secretly enjoying the attention and the entertaining thought that I was so good in bed he wanted more. Like I said, super naive back then.

I ended up sleeping with him again one more time at the end of fall semester freshman year. The first time we drove out to the pond near my house just to hang out and talk. We went to a diner in Brewster, New York and talked about... I don’t quite remember.

The next time we met at the pond again and I brought a bottle of wine with me. I asked him if he wanted some and he declined. That’s when I told him he wasn’t my first and I think it made him happy but he also said it bummed him out because he wanted it to be special.

We started kissing awkwardly and I knew by then that the awkward kissing wasn’t just reserved to him, a lot of guys seemed to be good at that. After we made out for like 10 seconds we walk back to his car and hold hands. He joked about how his arm is so much longer than mine and he was right. It felt weird like my arm was being stretched to go lower, even though he was taller than me.

We go into the backseat of his car and it’s cramped. He’s a little more aggressive this time and I yelp at one occasion. He comes early. I’m bummed. He said wait wait it’s ok, jacks it a couple times and no more than 5 seconds later he’s ready to go again.

Afterwards the windows are all fogged up and it’s dark outside. I draw things on the window while i stroke his head, which is laying on my shoulder. He told me he didn’t want to hurt me like he did earlier ever again (the yelping part, not the emotional damage ha ha ha).

We got dressed, opened all the doors and he sprayed some air freshener and was convinced his mom was going to find out. He drives me home again with the windows open and it feels nice. I looked out the window all pensive and disappointed like my stupid 19 year-old self and he tells me how good it was for him. He asked me how it was for me, and I bluntly tell him it was just ok. He drops me off making sure to stop at the very bottom of my driveway so my parents don’t see.

At one point way back in senior year of high school I texted him what I really felt. I was angry with him for being stupid and he had to know. He responded saying something like he knows he’s an asshole, he doesn’t know why he is this way, his brother yells at him all the time for not understanding social cues and norms and for hurting people’s feelings all the time. To this day I still think what he told me was honest. Usually I’d call bullshit but it seemed like just a bit too much detail, which meant it had to be the honest truth.

I still hate him. Just now when I was studying I pictured him going off on one of his little nature escapades in the mountains and him falling off a cliff and dying.

I remember I was in Canada with my family in high school at some point and the sky was orange and beautiful and I was listening to that Pachuca Sunrise song and I was just thinking about being happy with him. Instead of enjoying family vacation. But the daydream made me a more pleasant person than what I usually am on family trips.

But now I hate him. He somehow convinced all these girls 2 years younger than us to sleep with him. My friends told me they hated him and didn’t like him and thought he was gross but I did not listen. Every one of my friend groups seemed to be aware of my weird obsession with him and told me stuff about his greasy hair and loud breathing.

I want to take up kickboxing because of him and the couple other shitty people in my life whom I resent. I feel like the idea of religion and Christianity was holding me back from experiencing these strong emotions. I don’t want to bring them to God because I haven’t let go of them and processed them myself yet. Doing it in partnership with God was something that didn’t work for me, I just kept pushing it away and saying I forgave them because I gave it all to God, when I really didn’t, no matter how hard I tried. Forgiveness is the right thing so I should do it. That’s what I kept reassuring myself.

I refuse to forgive until I understand what it actually is and soak in it for a little bit. People are shitty the end. I embrace the shittiness of life!!!

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