#this is about my specific experiences please dont like @ me about how transmascs can still do these things | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ars0nism · 2 years

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okay, final post on this. my thing with terfs isnt the terfs. im 18, ive been through a lot, i can handle a couple of terfs on my page. what bothers me is the young people, especially young girls & transmascs, that fall into the terf rabbithole on accident.

SO.

heres my quick & easy guide on how i personally check for terfs. PLEASE check for these signs. to protect yourself. ofc not all things immediately mean terf, but this is my personal checklist

rad and or fem in the url (IMMEDIATE red flag)

labrys lesbian flag (somewhat of a red flag, could be innocent young lesbian roped into it. if theyre an adult its a red flag)

if you click on the search icon it will show a bunch of commonly used tags. look at the tags. common tags wpuld be radfem, radical feminism, terfism, gender critical etc

look at where they reblog from. who theyre following if its public. what posts they like if thats public. look at the bios of these. if the terf doesnt have a bio and is trying to be stealthy, oftentimes the people they agree with are open about it. block both while youre at it

queer slur discourse (also done outside of terf circles but far more common among terfs, especially coupled with the "not queer, im lesbian" stuff (though thats understandable and not inherently terfy) and in combination with other red flags)

exclusionism (not inherently terfy but still a good point to look out for)

fixation on wombs and vulvas (immediate red flag no one but terfs is that obsessed with their reproductive organs)

the "LGB" community, or even the "remove the L" because they dont want to associate with gay & bi people

really big hatred of the concept of "genital preference". sexuality is only about genitals to them.

intense man hatred. they hate men so much. (also not an immediate red flag because yeah some of it is warranted but you can tell the difference between joking about trauma/standing up against the patriarchy and straight up... being a terf)

the term "ssa". stands for same sex attraction. (pretty big one i think. i personally have only heard it from terfs.)

febfem. bisexuals who only date women. (also one i didnt know about until like half an hour ago. also a big one)

this is one specific to the current time and might be obsolete soon but if theyre vocal amber heard supporters. those are ALL terfs.

terfs are also often swerfs. hating on sex workers (not the system, the system is fucked and we should recognize it) is terfy !

they like to refer to us (trans people) as a cult. which, to be honest, after this experience, im more likely to call them a cult. (if a terf disagrees with you, get ready for closing anon & gross bullshit in your notes. we have mutual circles, they have them too)

and of course green flags for trans people & trans allies, if they have these the odds of it being a terf are. a lot smaller

pronouns in bio

some variation of lgbtq+

following trans blogs

inclusive

mature fucking human being

and if you're in doubt whether or not its a terf, its better to block an innocent person than to interact with a terf, id say. odds are the innocent person doesnt care.

BUT!

let's say you said something they didn't like and now your post is circling in their shitty little group chat. what then? my suggestion would be to

CLOSE ANON ASKS. once their cult has found your page and realizes you post about trans things, or worse, are trans, they will harass you. anon gives a lot of confidence to send death threats. dont let them.

Block all of them. No, it's not gonna stop new ones from harassing you in their place, but it does make for a pretty nice blocklist.

If you need to, don't hesitate to step away from tumblr for a while. Not everyone can handle harassment, and it's okay to step away if it's too much.

Remember you're worth so much more than any of these terfs. Remember being trans is something to be proud of, remember you are loved, and most importantly, remember they're just terfs on the internet. laugh at them. make fun of them. they may say shitty things, but they can't actually hurt you. (anything that can hurt you, like doxxing, is illegal. get law enforcement if possible if you think you're in actual physical danger)

Best of all is to ignore it. Don't keep talking about it ("take your own advice" im working on it). it's not fun to harass someone who just ignores you.

If you really can't cope, it's okay to close your blog. You don't have to stay. Make a new blog. Only tell your mutuals.

(also, side note, i have a blocklist filled with terfs. i am absolutely down to share this blocklist with you, if you want somewhere to get started)

#feel free to add onto the checklist tbh if you have any other good things #i focus mostly on easy to notice flags #with my checklist usually i catch a terf within five to ten minutes #the amber point. i dont care about the case. but everyone ive seend efending her turned out to be a terf. SO #long post

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eulangelo · 3 years

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i get feeling frustrated at transmascs as a transmasc myself, but please refrain from saying stuff like ''thats why i fucking hate transmascs cops who think they can play gender police''. youre a trans guy. does it mean you hate yourself too for playing ''gender police''? dont seperate urself as one of the 'good' ones, if you get what i mean. its like a cis person saying they hate cis ppl.

where did i say i was one of the good guys?? u can be part of a group and be critical of it at the same time. the comparison of cis people is not appropriate because, i mean, cis is a term that is used to navigate trans oppression vs cis privilege, therefore cis people cannot oppress or discriminate each other on the basis of being cis, but they can for other reasons. for example, a cis lesbian can complain that she is discriminated by cishet women, or a cis fat person can complain that they're discriminated by skinny cis people. it is also a very large group that includes every kind of person.

i however say that i hate transmascs because even though i'm part of the group i still do get discriminated and alienated by it on the basic of being transmasc in a way that is not conventionally accepted. either because i'm a nonpassing trans guy, because i'm openly gnc, or just because i'm trans het, all things that are strictly tied to my transness and can't be separated from it, so it's not like complaining that (for ex) i get discriminated on the basis of being fat by skinny transmascs, because that is not related to my transness and is not exclusive to transmascs, and i can simply complain about skinny people in general.

i am not distancing myself from stuff like tme privilege by saying "omg trans men oppress trans women they're awful!!" as if i didn't carry the same privilege, because that would be hypocritical. if anything i do try to call out trans/misogynistic behaviour from all who participate in it because it's what i do when any minority gets discriminated by an oppressor, just like i call out racism, or antisemitism, even though i'm white and gentile. it's not because i want to distance myself from those privileges, if anything i try to use said privilege to uplift the voices of those who don't have it.

and it is an undeniable fact that i have been encountering nonstop exclusionary, identity policing and discriminatory behaviour from transmascs, from trumeds to exclusionists to people who claim to be none of those but are still misgendering me and calling me a girl/telling me ill never pass for a man for two months now today, all because i dared calling them out on transmisogyny, because they are the first ones to turn a blind eye on trans people they dislike.

i am not better than other transmascs or an exception or whatever, however i cannot pretend i don't see the majority of them going #notallmen, crying "this is gender essentialism #terf rethoric #transmisandry" whenever they're called out on something, while in the next breath putting "wlws dont interact" in their bios or saying "trans hets are on thin ice" (or worse).

i am not gonna pretend what i say is always 100% what i think but i am frustrated, i am closeted and will probably be for god knows how long. i do not have any kind of acceptance or solidarity from cishets who consider me a cis lesbian, and you'd expect i could find that acceptance in the trans community, especially the transmasc community, seeing that we share so many important experiences, but i am not finding it. i am either finding performative acceptance (aka, people who will say i am valid and whatever but who will make fun of me for my orientation and say i'm an oppressor) or when i do actually find it i almost always end up finding out that the person will not take accountability for their tme privilege, appropriate transfem specific struggles, etc. and i do not want to associate with people like that. i also really dislike cis men, and i generalize them too, even if i know that the generalization will not apply to every single one of them, just like what i say about trans men.

#sks #long post #sorry if this got long but i was going to write a snarky response and then i was like. wait #i actually want to give an actual well thought explaination to this #and it's actually a complex topic to get into so i still think i haven't said enough

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intersexfairy · 3 years

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The post about TMA experience you posted talking about transmisogyny is super interesting! It also struck me in a really weird way because it very genuinely seems to be from someone who has little experience in NON online LGBT spaces. Because every single trans focused event I have attended IRL, the focus was exclusively on trans women. To the extent that my local gender clinic had to make a special trans masc meeting, because at the original general trans meeting they never got to speak. Surgeries for trans woman are better, and more likely to be included on insurance, and the reproductive difficulties faced are completely different, and also makes the assumption that trans masc people don't have experiences of feeling predatory for BECOMING men? Idk it was a really interesting post, but also to me is a sign of what should be SOLIDARITY for SHARED experiences instead being used as a way to divide the trans community further? While TMA and TME experiences may differ, they still all experinec transphobia and misogyny, combined in different ways. They still all experience feelings of being predatory for their perceived maleness, just in different directions. We should be able to BOND through that, instead of attacking each other through our shared experiences

i knew someone would say something like this...

there are common threads in the experiences between transfems and transmascs but these commonalities still have differences that deserve to be noticed without comparison.

the post never said transmascs dont feel predatory, that we don’t have a shit time with HRT and surgeries, that we don’t get silenced. i can’t speak for the person who said that on whether or not they think these are issues transmascs have, and i do wonder what their stance is, but the point of that post was about how those things impact transfems specifically. and there were 100% experiences there that are specific to transfems.

i agree that all trans people are victims of transphobia and the patriarchy and that we shouldn’t attack each other or pit our experiences against each other but. as far as i can tell that’s not what was happening in that post. the people in that post were frustrated and upset that their experiences were being written off, that so many people refuse to understand them, or shove them to the side to talk about issues tme trans people have. replying the way you have honestly only proves their point. you took it as an attack.

multiple, seemingly contradictory, truths and experiences can co-exist. people stating what happens to them and that it’s different from the experiences of others isn’t them attacking/invalidating other trans people’s experiences. there is no universal trans experience, so there will be discrepancies in experiences.

not everything you said was wrong but it doesn’t hit right when the post was like “hey acknowledge these differing experiences that hurt us a lot please” and you came in here going “hey look these are similar let’s just all bond okay, we need to stop dividing ourselves” like.. that wasn’t the point. no one whatsoever was attacking solidarity. they were asking for solidarity.

sometimes solidarity isn’t about comparing and relating to each other. sometimes it’s just about listening and being supportive. solidarity is standing by each other, no matter whether your experiences are different, whether you can relate, or even whether you fully understand something.

not every conversation has to include both sides of the story. sometimes one thing needs undivided attention, and that’s okay. that’s good. it’s not an attack

#asks #anon #traasks

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timeplayed · 3 years

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Tomatograter has always made me feel a little :// mainly due to the fact that they basically called anyone who headcanoned John as FTM, or just used John, transphobic. And as a FTM trans that one always stung. The original ask that prompted them to say that was someone asking if they should continue to push June onto those people who still had headcanons for John or still used John and I was basically like., h u h ? ? ? Because literally John and June can coexist, and someone who has a big following like Tomatograter saying something like that— It made me personally uncomfortable. Also,, please feel free not to answer this if you are worried this’ll spark discourse. That is not my intention, I just wanted to share a small experience with Tomatograter.

oh this is totally fucking valid

i think the things people forget about homestuck is that its a literal multidimensional media, meaning that there are going to be tons of different versions, its why ‘alternate universes’ exist.

a universe where everyone is genderbended, a universe where dirk is something that isnt gay, cisman john, cis woman june, transmasc john, et cetera. you just need to take into account what type of universe youre doing, the scenario, and if its considered offensive.

like, obviously its a bit different with june and masc roxy, seeing as how they are in dubious canon. do you see the word dubious, hardjuners? it means “skeptically” canon, its not full canon.

and, again, multidimensional. there are different versions of characters, tons of them. seeing as how timelines are heavily in time, space, mind, and heart, things pertaining to those aspects specifically can drastically change. what happens if you change one thing, will it make tons of butterfly effects, or barely change a thing. if you make a character like x what will it do? what if this character was actually x than y. stuff like that.

also, if anyones wondering, i dont like hardjuners or hardjohners (?) so like. yeah just let em coexist

#anon tag #asks

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queer-buccaneers · 6 years

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this is a submission, so i cant respond to it any other way, but its going under a cut so yall can skip by it if you want (its long)

yo! i want to coin my own terms, and ive got them about fleshed out tbh, but i wanted to run them by you for a couple of reasons

1) theyre loosely based on ad-. i had these in mind long before i knew of those terms, but there’s definitely a similarity there.

2) i see that recently on your blog (i dont follow you, i was just making sure i had the definitions right) you’re talking about the goods and bads of coining things, specifically how coining some things takes away the context of others, and i wanted to ask your opinions on these specifically, to make sure i dont take away the context of your terms.

like i said before, i feel like my terms are unique, useful, and fit a position that isn’t currently being occupied. but,well, since you have ad- already i wanted to be sure.

if you’re not interested, feel free to ignore me now! im sorry i had to submit this but as you can see it’s a bit lengthy. sorry in advance if this is unwanted.

This is a rough draft of my possible future post in coining these terms. Youre free to post it or send me a message about it.

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Sensgender: Relating the the trans(masc/fem/neutral/xeno) experience, but only sometimes, temporarily, or not completely. Examples could be people who are genderfluid (so would only be sens- during certain genders), people who are genderflux (similar to genderfluid), or who are bigender/otherwise polygender and only experience some part of the trans(masc/fem/etc) experience.

Made to be similar to the ad- terms, but are meant to be identities and for fluid/flux/similar experiences. The adgender terms are linked here [link]. Please note that this is not my trying copy, replace, or steal those terms. These terms occupy very separate, yet similar, spaces.

For me, I relate to both admasculine and sensmasculine. I’m AFAB and librafluid, and sometimes my gender is very masculine! However, during that time, I still don’t completely relate to the transmasc experience. Mostly because my relationship with it is very fluid, like my gender. There are parts of transmasc I can’t, don’t, or choose not to relate to because of my fluid gender.

It’s different than admasc, too, because 1) it’s a large part of my identity. Just like how some people are very connected to trans(masc) specifically, I want to be able to call myself sensmasculine as part of my gender, if that makes sense? and 2) there’s a distinct, purposeful feeling of temporary-ness to the terms specific to the kind of people listed above.

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this is horribly long and (probably) obnoxious but yeah anyways. anything you have to say (help, criticism, asking not to mention ad-, etc) would be super great. thank you very much!

@coffeeshopau

this is a good term and i agree that there’s a need for it! tbh, i could even see myself using these. im very happy and super impressed with the amount of thought you’ve put into ur post here, and definitely appreciate you asking abt the relation to my terms! allow me to present u with this:

and let me know if/when u make a proper post abt it so i can reblog it! ✨

#asks #coffeeshopau #the gold dubloon of coining words good #mogai meta #submission

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