Why do I grieve something I’ve never had

I saw your post about not telling your doctor about asexuality and I was just confused about it because... I'm asexual, and when my doctor asks if I'm sexually active, I say "no", and that's the end of the conversation. They don't ask "why not", or try to convince me that I should be, and I'd find it bizarre if they did. Granted I am still seeing a pediatrician (I am 19 and they will see me until I am 21) and have never been to a gynecologist...

I've been to a lot of gynecologists because of health related reasons (my reproductive system is broke and hates me lol) and usually they dont ask about your sexuality except maybe to confirm that by not sexually active you arent just talking about penis in vagina sex (very rare and only asked because I had a repeat infection and those can be transmitted between people with vaginas too).

It's not so much that they come out and demand your sexuality tho. It's more like I've had a gynecologist lowkey just not believe that I havent been sexually active yet and I want to be able to tell my doctors that hey the reason is really simple: I dont desire the sex.

I think it just comes up more for me because of all the visits I have to go to about my reproductive health. Perhaps it will come up for you when you get to the point where you have to go to a gynecologist for paps and things. I dont know about normal gynecological appointments tho so I cant say for sure. All i know is that they like to bring up my "future childbearing plans" and my sexual history.

My big thing against it all tbh is that I cant even say I dont even like sex, am asexual, and fun fact dont plan to have children (something I'd like them to take into consideration when I ask them to just rip my reproductive organs out). I cant say any of it without having some doctor look at me and either say I'll change my mind or think that I need drugs to increase my sex drive and make me "normal". It is very frustrating and because of my health issues it's not even possible for me to be picky with doctors because very few know how to treat my nonsense reproductive illness