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camels-pen · 4 months

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warning: eating disorders/food issues

"Something wrong with it?"

Usopp startled and snapped his head to the side. His nose jabbed Sanji's eye and they both hissed. Usopp jerked away to rub the tip of his nose.

"Fuck, I forgot about that," Sanji grumbled. There was a contrasting, fond smile on his face as rubbed his eye. "Anyway, the food?"

"What about it?"

"What's wrong with it?"

Usopp turned his gaze back to his plate. Plenty of pork chops piled high- at Luffy's request for a meat-filled dinner- and mashed potatoes with green beans on the side. His mouth salivated again just staring at it.

"Nothing," he said. "Just taking my time."

He could feel Sanji's unimpressed stare. "You've been 'taking your time' through the whole dinner. Everyone's already finished and left. The moss ball even finished the dishes, and we both know how he likes to dawdle."

Despite himself, Usopp giggled quietly. When it was his turn to do dishes, Zoro always took his time, waiting for Sanji to get frustrated with his speed and leave him to finish it alone. It was the perfect strategy to steal booze when Sanji wasn't looking, but it seemed Usopp had unknowingly thwarted his first sake stealing attempt after their reunion.

As if reading his mind, Sanji said, "I let him steal that alcohol, you know. I'm not that stupid." He huffed, voice sounding like he was pouting as he added, "It's the only damn way I can keep an eye on his shitty drinking habits. He'd constantly drink us dry otherwise, that damn mossheaded bastard."

Usopp giggled again and made the mistake of glancing up at him. Sanji was staring across the room at the kitchen, probably the place he'd put all the good booze. He'd confided in Usopp, once, that he had two hiding places for drinking alcohol: one, more obvious place, by the fridge for the cheap stuff, and another, hidden somewhere he wouldn't say, for all the more expensive and high quality stuff. He'd confidently crowed, on more than one occasion, that despite the cheap stuff always going missing, he'd never lost a drop of anything else. He always looked so smug saying that, and well, Usopp now knew why.

But then his eye- the left one now, and despite looking right at it, the change had still caught him off guard more than once- turned to Usopp and Usopp clammed up. Sanji stared at him, his eyebrow- this one curled on the opposite side, closer to his nose bridge than his ear- raised high on his forehead. "If you're well enough to laugh at Zoro, it can't be that bad."

Usopp gulped. Looked away. "I'm not sick," he said quietly. "The food looks great, Sanji, really. Eating is just..." He trailed off. Neither of them spoke for a long moment, only the sounds of their distant crewmates enjoying the sight of their descent to the ocean's floor filling the galley.

Sanji's arm slowly, hesitantly, laid on the back of his chair- Sanji didn't used to hesitate, but, he supposed, things had changed. He settled himself in the chair next to Usopp, rather than continue to lean over him, and said softly, "Eating is just...?"

Usopp stared at the grain on the table, studying the lines and deviations with an intense and sudden fascination.

"Usopp."

"It's hard," he mumbled.

Another silence, this one less expecting and more confused. Awkward.

"You ate fine at breakfast...?" Sanji said, voice lilting up at the end, almost in question.

Usopp snorted. 'Ate fine' was a kinder way of putting it. Usopp had demolished breakfast, nearly rivaling Luffy with how much and how quickly he ate. The usual sense of desperation had dimmed slightly, now that he was with his crew, but it was still there, dictating his eating habits. He would've felt more ashamed if he hadn't seen Luffy, Franky, and Brook eating in the exact same disgusting manner. Instead, he felt right at home.

He had wondered, privately, if something similar had happened to them. Had tossed around the idea of asking them about it. Then he would think back to how they used to eat, before. How it was exactly the same. How they had all basically cried that they'd so dearly missed Sanji's cooking. He couldn't blame them, he nearly sobbed over Sanji's pancakes- and then did sob over his hashbrowns.

"The island got hungry at dawn," he started. Stopped. Stared at the little vase of daisies at the centre of the table that Robin had gathered from her garden- now shared with Usopp. "It would close up. Then open. After, everything was... safe. For a little while."

He gulped again, cringing at his dry throat. He stared at the glass of water, a little wet stain under it. Luffy had bumped his glass earlier when he stole a few chops off of Usopp's pile.

Usopp didn't reach for it.

"You know, I was expecting grand stories of your heroics when you finally talked about where you were." Usopp shrunk in his seat. "No- no, come on I didn't mean it like that. I was just trying to make a joke."

"You should leave the jokes to the experts." Usopp's lip quirked. "Even Brook's better than you."

Out of the corner of his eye, Sanji scowled. "Brook wouldn't know a good joke if it kicked him upside the head."

Usopp giggled again, relaxing. "Admit it, you missed his skull jokes."

Sanji huffed. "...Maybe a little."

In the background, they could hear Zoro talking about taking a swim followed by a familiar thud and Nami yelling at him. They both giggled this time, leaning into each other.

"God, I missed everyone. I missed-" Sanji cut himself off and Usopp turned to look at him. There was a wobble to his lips and his visible eye stared intently at him. Usopp would almost say Sanji looked longing- yearning, even- if he didn't know better.

"I know," he said. "I missed everyone too." Sanji's eyes pinched a little at the corners, but Usopp didn't know why. He didn't linger on it long though, what with Sanji's smile as he pressed his temple to Usopp's for a moment. Usopp's heart would've beat wildly two years ago, but now all he felt was warm and content.

Sanji hummed in agreement and pulled away. Patting his pockets, likely for a cigarette. Usopp pulled the one tucked behind his ear, admiring the feel of soft blond hair a moment too long before handing it to him. Sanji chuckled and accepted it with a quiet thanks.

He lit it and sat back in his chair, relaxing with the first inhale. "Back to the important stuff." Usopp would argue all of that was important stuff. "You only felt safe to eat breakfast?"

Usopp shook his head. Then tilted it side to side. "No- well, sort of. It was never really safe, but..." He rolled the words around his mouth, feeling out the right ones while discarding others. "It was... easier. To eat a lot in the morning. Gather food later in the day. Then sleep when I got hungry closer to sunset."

Sanji blew out a puff of smoke. "You didn't have anyone to watch your back while you were eating?"

"I did." Usopp nodded, a sense of pride filling him as he puffed out his chest. "Heracles'n was a great friend and teacher! We took turns watching out for each other and, well, he's the reason I survived that island in the first place." He flexed one of his biceps. "He also helped me get a whole lot stronger!"

Sanji pursed his lips around his cigarette. "But you didn't eat dinner. Or lunch." Today nor in nearly two years, though Sanji likely meant the latter.

Usopp deflated, arm settling back down in his lap. "We couldn't stop moving until sunset. By then it was better to sleep and eat heap loads in the morning rather than risk dinner and not getting enough rest." He sighed. "Heracles'n was always telling me to eat more berries and fruit throughout the day, but..."

Sanji stared at him. "You had this-island-is-too-scary-so-I-can't-eat-anything-itis?"

Usopp scowled. "I'd like to see you keep up an appetite when you're constantly running and hiding from giant-"

Sanji used his arm to tug Usopp closer, so their sides were pressed together. He pressed his nose to Usopp's hair. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"What for?" Usopp whispered back.

Sanji didn't answer, his breaths warming Usopp's head. The galley had grown silent when he finally spoke, the others having found quieter activities or retired to their rooms.

"If I was stronger then- or quicker-"

"Sanji," Usopp said. "There's no way you would've been able to beat Kuma, back then."

Sanji shook his head. "I know, but maybe we could've been sent somewhere together."

There was a bittersweet, choking feeling in the back of Usopp's throat. A burning in his eyes. "You wouldn't have liked it there," he said, laying his head on Sanji's shoulder. "You would've hated it, actually."

"But I would've been with you."

Usopp laughed, the sound wet and brittle. "I wouldn't wish that island on anyone, Sanji, but least of all you. I'm not worth-"

A hand cupped his face, cutting him off as he was turned to face Sanji. His nose was bent, pressing against Sanji's cheek. "You worth a lot, Usopp. You're worth it to-" Sanji's cheeks dusted pink all of a sudden and he looked away. "You're worth a lot. And it would've been nice if I could have watched your back. Made sure you were eating well."

At a loss for words, Usopp turned back to the table, staring at his plate. The mashed potatoes were surely cold and hard by now and he was fairly certain a thick pork chop wouldn't stay down.

The green beans, maybe. Those could work.

He picked one up. His stomach rumbled. He lifted it to his mouth.

His hands shook.

He gulped again. Stared at his hand intensely.

Sanji's hand covered his own. A sudden, terrible spike of anxiety overwhelmed him and he held his breath, hoping Sanji wasn't going to just force him to eat it. He hated wasting food after all and it was already in Usopp's hand and Usopp himself just needed to quit cowering and just eat it already-

Sanji pulled his hand away from his mouth. The tension left Usopp in a rush. Shame took up where anxiety had left, but he forced himself to meet Sanji's eye. He knew what came next.

Before Sanji could say anything, Usopp blurted, "There was food. On the island. Not just fruits and berries and whatever game we could hunt. Pre-cooked food, I mean." Sanji's brow furrowed, but Usopp continued on. "There were these plants- and rivers- that had cake and burgers and ramen and- well, you get the idea. And the closer you got to the centre of the island, the more tasty the food got." He gulped. Coughed a little. Sanji reached for his glass, but Usopp grabbed his wrist in a tight hold. If he didn't get it all out now, he never would.

"I didn't meet Heracles'n immediately. I was on my own at first and- and I didn't completely trust him at first either." He laughed, the sound as self-deprecating as it felt. "The centre of the island, that's where its mouth is."

Sanji's eyebrow furrowed further. "So when you said the island 'got hungry'..."

Usopp nodded. "It was a trap to lure in prey." Quietly, he added, "Like me."

Sanji gasped, his eyes darting down, and wow, Usopp really should've re-thought the whole 'show off his new muscles by going shirtless' plan. He pulled away from Sanji, and pulled up the waist of his pants. "Staring at my stretch marks isn't going to change anything, y'know."

Sheepishly, Sanji said, "Sorry- sorry, I should know better." He held out his arms, with a sad little pout. "Come back?"

Usopp held out for a few moments, glaring at him, but he sighed and eventually gave in. "I hate you," he mumbled into Sanji's shoulder. Sanji patted his back in response.

The two of them sat there in silence once more. Usopp savoured the contact between them, like he had always dreamed of on Boin.

"You had to train yourself to avoid delicious looking foods, then," Sanji said quietly. Usopp nodded. "That makes sense. But then, breakfast?"

A new wave of shame, far heavier than the last. He dug his forehead into Sanji's shoulder. "I don't want to talk about it."

He didn't know how to explain how he had become some kind of wild animal during meals and he didn't want to explain. Heracles'n was already one person too many and earlier, the entire crew had seen him. His heart beat hard and fast in his chest at the reminder, a belated rush of fear to make up for his single minded focus at breakfast.

"Then I won't ask," Sanji said. "You should tell Chopper though-"

Usopp grimaced. "Eventually, but..."

Sanji sighed, pressing his cheek to Usopp's hair. "Okay, but can I make you something? Just a snack or tea or...?"

Usopp huffed. "Sanji-"

"I know, I know! But letting you go to bed hungry is..."

"Hard," Usopp finished for him, pulling away. "I know."

He wasn't going anywhere before Sanji fed him, of that he was sure, but it made Usopp's stomach queasy just thinking about all the snacks Sanji used to make before they were separated.

Some of it must have shown on his face too, since Sanji was already holding up his hands and starting to look even more concerned. "It doesn't have to be anything special. I could just peel a tangerine for you or slice up some apples or juice some pears- I mean oranges! Why would anyone juice pears- oh, hm, I should check that sometime; remind me to write it down. Oh and maybe I could steep a really bitter tea, so you don't have to worry about drinking too much because I know you hate bitter things-"

And Usopp couldn't help himself. He laughed.

Sanji deflated, his brow furrowed in confusion, or maybe it was concern. Usopp didn't know, he was too busy laughing at the absurdity of Sanji being so anxious and speaking every rambling thought. It was adorable and Usopp couldn't help but reach up and squish Sanji's cheeks.

"I lo-" Sanji's eye widened and suddenly, Usopp didn't feel brave enough. "Lost my notebook. We'll have to use one of yours."

"O-Oh, yeah, sure." Sanji nodded, voice slightly muffled by his squished cheeks. He stared at Usopp, his eye asking another question.

Usopp looked away, his eyes landing on the fruit bowl on the bar counter. There were apples, bananas, and pears. He pulled his hands away. "...Nami will be mad at you." he said quietly, weakly.

Sanji sighed, a shaky, relieved little thing. He wrapped his arms around Usopp's middle, crushing him to his chest. "I think she'll forgive me," he said.

Boldly, Usopp added, "What if you made coffee?" The only coffee in the pantry was a fancy jar brought along from a Revolutionary base near a village that prided themselves on their harvest.

Sanji chuckled. "Robin would forgive me too."

Usopp hummed. "You seem awfully confident."

"I am," he said, pulling away completely, his chair squeaking against the floorboards as he stood. Sanji held out a hand, a smile on his lips. "If you don't believe me, let me show you."

And right here, Usopp could've chosen to laugh it off. Said something about not wanting to face Nami's wrath, much less Robin's. Fled the galley completely with an excuse or three and sleep in his workshop while ignoring any and all feelings of guilt. It would've been easy.

But he'd already accepted it. Acknowledged the inevitable consequences instead of turning down those anxious suggestions. How could he do anything else, in the face of such genuine care and concern? To leave now would just hurt them both and the last thing Usopp wanted to do was hurt Sanji.

And, well, he trusted Sanji, to do what he couldn't. Planned to trust him with his heart, at some point.

Trusting him with his stomach, in comparison, was as easy as breathing.

So, Usopp placed a steady hand in Sanji's own, a small, teasing smile on his face, and said, "Lead the way."

#one piece #sanuso #sanji #usopp #meant to be pre-relationship but can be read however #nemo the writing ho #side note: dear god this ended up way longer than intended #had a nice time writing them being gay though 💚#gotta remember to put this on ao3 later #belated tag i forgot to add but this was inspired by redriotinggg's post the other day #i was POSSESSED with the need to write after reading it lmao

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ty-bayonet-betteridge · 21 days

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3l!grian is frequently depicted as a tragic figure and sometimes i wonder if we even watched the same series

#like yes he is tragic. every character in the series is tragic but i think hes easily the least tragic of the winners #(except maybe cleo. i have my own thoughts about how cleos victory plays into her core themes and why its not as joyous or triumphant as #cleo the players and the fandom at large make it seem that i will have to make a real post about at some point)#grian dies Laughing. he smiles and calls it a dual victory before the final fight. his last words are “its been amazing.”#to me Grians arc is about how he came in with this sense of mirth. had it ripled away by the reality when his joke gets Scar killed.#and then rediscovers it as he learns that the horror of their circumstances doesn't need to keep him from delight #plus also ive never seen a man more delighted to explode three of his friends #ill also bring up that Martyns lore has Grian involved in the games explicitly to COMBAT the angst #that Grians inherent silliness and joy makes the players less hopeless as they meet their endings #and theres obviously parts of martyns lore i can take or leave but this is one area where Eyes and Ears lines up very well with what actions #the characters take and so im happy to bring it up #unlike other parts such as “limlife pearl and cleo retained more trauma between seasons than any player has before”#which i do directly refute as it doesn't seem to line up with the way the characters act and the story plays out #thats for another post though #my point here is 3l grian was having the time of his life and i think there are some fanon interpretationd that disregard that #which theyre free to do im definitely someone who has ignored canon plenty of times in the past (glances at worm)#but i think this is the sort of thing that makes the canon more interesting and compelling #anyway. um. rambled longer than i meant to there #grian #trafficblr #3rd life #3rd life smp #3lsmp

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marshmallowgoop · 1 year

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There's a lot of talk about Heiji's tendency to drop everything and go to Tokyo to help—or even just to see!—Shinichi, and rightfully so. It's something Heiji unabashedly admits to (Episode 278, Magic File 5)...

Heiji: If any other suspicious persons show up, just call me! I'll run right over!

Ran: Hattori-kun saw that incident on the news and rushed over because he was worried about you, Conan-kun. Heiji: Grabbed the first bullet train in the mornin'!

And I still can hardly believe that Heiji's canon, actual, real-deal reaction to a request to put his life on the line and impersonate Shinichi... is an immediate "OK" composed out of heart emojis (Episode 345).

Seriously. That happened. Heiji couldn't not help.

Heiji (internally): I had no choice. After all, Kudo e-mailed me asking me to do this.

But in Shinichi's first appearance since being poisoned (Episode 49), after seemingly refusing to show his face to Ran or Inspector Megure or anyone else in town for who knows how long, he unabashedly claims that he dropped everything to meet Heiji. He smiles about it!

And of course it's a lie, but there's a smidgen of truth to it, too. Conan did accompany Heiji, despite feeling terribly sick and harboring zero interest in the (apparently) non-murderous case, because he was intrigued. Because he was impressed with what Heiji had uncovered about him already and was nervous about what else his so-called "rival" could reveal.

Conan (internally): I don't wanna go, but there's no telling what this guy might say!

But even without that context, Shinichi's easy, immediate cover story gets to me. He really, truly, unhesitatingly asserts that meeting Heiji was important enough to jump right on a train to get there.

It reminds me of Shinichi's excitement when he first learns of Heiji (File 520), and his grin when he thinks of meeting Heiji for real one day (File 522):

Shinichi: Really? Then he's just like me!

Shinichi (internally): We'll meet each other again... on that mysterious stage...

I think I could totally buy that Shinichi actually would have done exactly what he claims in the clip. He is interested in other detectives like himself, and with the pain of the antidote wearing off in Episode 49, that smile's gotta be genuine.

Finally, while it's Not That Deep, there's maybe something to be said about how Heiji is symbolically the key to Shinichi's true self, since it's Heiji's alcohol that transforms Conan back into Shinichi. With this clip, Shinichi underlines the same idea. It's Heiji who brought him back after so long. It's because of Heiji Hattori that Shinichi Kudo makes his first appearance after vanishing.

And I love how forthright Shinichi is about it.

#detective conan #case closed #shinichi kudo #heiji hattori #ramblings #long post #video #funimation english dub script #because i've devoted a lot of time and effort into mixing my german blu-ray footage with my funimation dvd english dub audio #and everyone needs to look at it lol #(really though it's a lot easier now that i know to change the 'fps' of the audio but it's still a lot of work...)#(i match up the japanese audio track from the blu-ray with the japanese audio track from the dvd and copy any cuts needed to the eng audio)#(not hard just tedious... i'm dying for an official hd english dub release so that i don't have to do this lol)#(but any official english video releases for this show at all would be great...)#(i don't want to use bilibili screencaps anymore because there's a big watermark now)#(so i spent a whole lot of time timing bilibili subs to my ep 345 blu-ray here for those caps 😩)#(more tedious than other eps because bilibili splits up multi-part specials so i had to string together four different .srts)#(gosh i do *the most* lol plz official releases i'm dying)#anyway just was thinking about this because of my hd english dub project! he really says this #wanted to post this before the end of the year for one more essay but alas... took way longer to write than i thought ^^;#as per usual amirite ^^; ^^;

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twilightarcade · 17 hours

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that's a weird dog

#wordstag #notwordswordstag #neptune wgen it's being normal about that eclipse thing #drawn at late oh clock it's like 2am right now . I think I'm gonna darken the eyes in the morning #or I won't. You never know with this guy.#anyhow I'm in bed now and I'm sooooo cozy.#ok so [mr beasts] this drawing was a 'let's use all the brushes in the sketching section & see what happens' thing #I think we're going 2 do another one w/ a smaller canvas size because I wanna . Try something. & this canvas was way too big #(<-I've been using the same canvas 4 like . Ages. And some IDIOT refuses 2 just move the sketches over(#literally whoever invented patterns on clothing should go explode . Do you have any clue #it's ok though . Fun exercise in whatever it's called. Perspective. If it was evil. ( I am failing the exercise)#ummmmmmm I thibk that's all. Spent way longer on this than I meant to. But the REAL criminal here was anzu because #That was supposed 2 be a warm up. Of sorts. I don't really do warm ups much if I'm going 2 be honest #trying 2 get into the habit but me drawing is more like . I'm going to draw 5 things in one sitting take it or leave it #ok guess who just . Fixed it.#I could point out like a million other things wrong but I'm not going to [smug cat picture] I'll leave that up to your imagination #ok umm how many tags is that . Not enough ? I want 2 do those whatever u wanna call those things again #yyou know. Peeks in my inbox.#ddude I might want to uh. I might want to crop this thing.#landscape is fun and all but seriously I can't #whatever. Officially a tomorrow me issue. Guess who's headed to sleep baby.#tomorrow neptune here I ended up cropping it after all.cod bleAmerica.ca.#anyhow I don't think I mentioned the . The Animal?

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peridots-pixiwolf · 1 year

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hey guess who is actually and without exaggeration crying over ultrakill

#peridots-nonsense #ultrakill #ok so. i'm emotional right now. this has been stated. what also has been stated is the fact that this is my 2nd playthrough on a new device #first time i finished it was in november and while altars of apostasy does make me pretty sad that's about the limit to ultkill emotions.#it's really funny actually because i was so excited for heresy. i took longer to beat act 2 than i did the first time around cause i wanted #to improve on the levels (p-ranks and challenges and secrets. y'know. still haven't done 5-S yet though). so i had more time to anticipate #specifically. Gabe's rematch. i was THRILLED!!! i don't even know why!!!!! but i never stopped smiling the whole time i was fighting him!!!#it got so bad the first time i got to his second phase that i had to actually pause for the better part of a minute from stimming so hard!!#grinning like an idiot for five minutes straight!!! no fight or game has EVER made me feel that way before.#the hk collector is a fun fight for sure and i sometimes get happy going up against characters i like from any games. however #it fades as i get into the fight. it's never been nearly that grand. i was singing a lot too but sleeping family made it more of a whisper #i ended up spending 24 minutes on it with 58 restarts. and yet i was ECSTATIC the whole time. i can see what it felt like to him now lol #so. instantly on the verge of tears when i beat him. and when i got past the ending cutscene i broke. i love this game so so much...#idk. sure this could've been a text to my friends or something but i do not care you all will hear of this #cause this is the best thing ever actually. brb going to go tear up again though

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ayakashibackstreet · 1 month

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You know what, joining that Discord show club was a great idea, like half of my favourite PKC folks are there. And is there anything more wholesome than someone going '1!! hey, I remember that dog!! she's adorable, I'm glad she's doing well!' about a little pixel friend they made for you years ago?

#someone also said they liked one of my older petz that I got from a member of the Polish Petz community back in the day #and we went on to reminiscent about how the community used to be back then #honestly? in a way that talk is the closest thing I'll ever get to closure in regards to what happened with the PKC #and I think that with that I can actually try and move on #even though it's pretty damn tough when a niche site that's been around since you were born just...... falls apart due to technical issues #but I've done it before. SHiR felt like it would never go away too after all #and I was there with PTI practically since the very beginning and until the very end #anyways the Petz community is still so vibrant and cool #it hurts but it'll heal. It somehow hurts way more now that I'm an adult though.#maybe because now the Polish Petz community basically /has/ no home? and I've known some of those people since I was 11?#still.... all good things must come an end and I can accept it. I feel I'm slowly getting closer to that point.#maybe I'll slowly warm up to the concept of using my RKC account ahahaha.... the RKC people were always really nice after all #the Petz community at large won't die anytime soon I don't think. Most of us have been here for at least 10 years after all.#a huge chunk of them for 20+ years #again. some people have been here longer than I've been alive #it's not something that can entirely disappear

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i-bring-crack · 1 year

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Ohoho~~ this is a Dark Sung Jin Woo idea x Goto Ryuji i just had in mind.

Shadow Soldier Japanese S ranks AU

This is set after Jin Woo had learned about the attack that all of them where planning to do back at Jeju. At first he had some respect for them since they helped out in Jeju but after he got to know the reason why well....

"Arise."

For Mirai Ishida, Ippei Izawa and Shimizu Akari worked on the first try.

For Kenzo Tanaka, Fumeshima Tatsumi and Kei, it took two tries.

Lastly Goto Ryuji had to be called 3 times for his soul to rise, and when he did, Jin Woo spared no feelings in making his life temporarely miserable.

As for the rest of the S ranks, he saw that they were somehow bought out or openly admited to have joined on the plan so none escaped punishment either, but at least it wasnt as worse as it had been with Ryuji.

And then the fun and twisted part starts as Ryuji gets to be obbessed by Jin Woo. A lot of it is because of the influence of the shadow monarch's domain, but some small part is also because he is thankful the crisis in Japan had been dealt with before the gate was opened.

Since they can now talk (Goto can understand the lenguage of beasts after dying and is ranked to a level close to commander with enough expirience to be given a name and be able to speak) whenever Sung Jin Woo just has time to spare, he talks to him about the past which Goto has no choice but tell him about it.

The time passes and Jin Woo grows to be more fond of that shadow, his anger hasnt fully steeped but when he and Goto spar he waves it away since its so thrilling fighting such a skilled swordsman, and more powerful than Igris nonetheless.

The others are also quite good in following Ryuji, who is like a mama duck to them, his behavior growing towards them because they are the only humans he knows off among the domain of the Shadow Monarch. Its not like he wanted to get attached to them, but there is no one else he can talk to or connect with, and all the other japanese shadows are younger than him so he has to take care of them, it was his task when he was the guild master, it isnt going to change now, so...

Goto loathes Beru, and is often rolling his eyes at all the nicknames given to Jin Woo. But he isnt better at it since he calls Jin Woo Kami-Sama, a tiwnge of his pride dying but he also isnt wrong, Jin Woo is like a god before anyone else.

He gets somewhat along with Igris. He is quiet and modest enough not to irk him. Iron and the other S ranks have a lot of more meme moments, Kei often uses Tank as a transport vehicle cuz Jin Woo already had Kaisel, and the other Healers (Shimizu and Tatsumi) plus Mira (Mage) cant keep up with the rest of the hunters in speed. Maybe they get their own bear transports that would be fun.

Greed and Kenzo often spar with their combined strenghts, they are on equal level after Kenzo leveled up from the Gians arc .

Ippei Izawa went to check on upon the Japanese S ranks that still survived, Kanae almost got a glimpse of him, but then shrugged it off thinking it was just her mind messing with him. At least Goto didnt have to worry about their well being anymore now that the S rank gate had been cleared.

Goto is able, just like Greed but a little faster, to manage to get out of the Frost Monarch's ice and strike down Queresha with the help of Beru.

Then as the battle gets serious, Beru and Il Hwang fought off against the Beast while the Frost Monarch has to keep up with Greed and Goto— whose skill managed to crack out the Ice spikes, letting the rest of the S ranks and strongest shadows join the fight, plus Igris who—

"Kill him! Kill the human before he awakens."

The frost Monarch wasnt able to reach the place were Sung Jin Woo still lay sleeping, but he definetly reached Goto's heart. And overwhelmed by the power of a Monarch, he could only watch as his shadow form turn to light ash, dissolving away the soul he had.

Yet Goto didnt make the effort to move, his death stalled enough time so as to let The Shadow Monarch, his god, awaken.

(Sung Ill Hawng didnt die, but Goto instead. :") press F to pay respects)

A god that has come back 7 years(10, yet the being spent 2 of them fighting out in the cosmos and 1 with his family) to the past and wont let him out of his watch anymore.

"I promise this time ill protect you."

And Goto slowly blinks, trying to process the tiny Jin Woo who he can't take seriously because, 1) who is he? And 2) what is a korean kid doing in the middle of his partment? he has too many questions and that boy is answering none of it.

(And now Jin Woo is the one obssesed with him.

It happened after the battle with the Beast, Plague and Frost monarch. He did his best to try and go back, in fact he chose to go back and fight instead of just living inside the dreamscape because of him and all the loved ones he's had. And then when he finally joins the fight, he sees how Shimizu and Tatsumi are frantically trying to keep Goto alive, yet his soul is still dissapearing.

It was the Frost Monarch no less. Now Jin Woo will make his death ten times as worse.

There aren't really any last words for Goto, his actions were enough, for both of them, making Jin Woo rile up even more and do whatever he can to get that chalice of reincarnation back. Sung Ill Hwang has never seen his son be so...devastated...

He had watched him up close, how Jin Woo always had that shadow soldier near him and trusted him a lot more than the others, especially in the raid on Japan he had a lot of freedom when dealing with the giants. They also talked more, and it wasn't orders or else he wouldn't have responded back in such a contemplative tone.

Well now he knows why, and he will do his best to get Jin Woo that Chalice as well as fight the other Monarchs alongside him.

And it gets even more emotional from then on as his son of 14 suddenly asks if there are any schools that teach Japanese. He knows why, and he asks him what for?

"I... I just like Japan."

"Is there anyone or anything you want to meet there?" He doesn't let too much out but he does want the kid to reflect on himself. At least for a little bit.

"Mn. There is someone I... I do want to meet... but I don't think they will like me if I don't... at least..."

"An idol?" Jin Ah asks, Jin Woo opts for that.

Sung Ill Hwang let's him. "But be careful, your view over them may be something entire different over them to you."

He doesn't ask where he is when the boy leaves for two years, but during that time he did try and search about Goto Ryuji, a parent has his worries after all. Despite being almost 15 to 20 years der, which mentally would make them both around the same age[due to the 27 year age gap, although Jinwoo is ofc older] and is a wealthy man, his coworkers respect him, he has on occasions talked to him when he went to visit Japan on a field trip. And Goto, despite being opportunistic and sometimes cold, is quite a smart man, someone independent who can even handle himself mentally. No wonder he was an S Rank before.

Sung Ill Hwang aproves.)

And then a few weeks after Jin Woo reaches 18, Goto listens to his story before the boy is promptly kicked out of the apartment complex in a matter of seconds and tells him to get back to his home.

A few weeks more and the memories get passed over, but Jin woo didn't implant them, weirdly enough, it's just his familiarity and close connections with his mana as well as the shadow Jin Woo left behind to protect him (Beru?! Seriously!?! That freaking ant! Is he a worry want or does he want me to hate him more!?!?) Did he slowly began to remember a decades worth of content in his dreams. It took like five years for everything to be fully done and processed and holy fuck. He did fall for a fucking God.

Welp now he wants to fuck the god and he doesnt even know if that are his true feelings talking or the longing of his shadow self.

His powers do come back after Jin Woo and Goto meet, whom the former is happy to give back bc he has been waiting to fight him for so long. And he can actually grow stronger than when he was at an S rank level.

As for the rest of the teammates Goto advices him that it's better not to bring their memories back. And they both agree on it.

#too ooc?#yeah for Goto at least #i mean #its Goto idk if he would be proud to be weaker than Jin Woo #he defiently becomes proud later on to be one of the best soldiers Jin Woo has #he does try to fight Beru at one point though #more like sparringly going between matches to see if he has become stronger than before.#and at like the end he is around the level of national hunters #he is proud abou that growth and reaches out to also become the strongest #but at the same time because most of the reason for why he was proud has left him he no longer wishes to aquire a title like Beru has #instead his focus is more to Jin Woo who has started to trust him alot more #as in confine hissecrets and have someone to talk about the system bc Goto just has such an unwavering loyalty/can talk+is a modern human #he tells his time as an E rank too which makes Goto miiidly concerned #prompting to check Jin Woo if he has any scratches after the raids. that Jin Woo knows will heal up but its nice for someone to care.#In a way he is a breath of fresh air that Jin Woo can turn too and has him all for himself ~#solo leveling au #goto ryuji #sung jin woo #sung jin woo x goto ryuji #dark fic #look at them being so unhealthily obbessed with one another

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