#theyre normal 1000 year olds
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lucius parents when they were younger and then now … archdruidification
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people are hating on klck so hard and she’s totally wrong but like yall forget she’s literally a child of course she’s going to be wrong.
imagine you are a teenager (famous for being the time where people are desperately trying to be different and special for the sake of having an identity) and your parents are normal like accounting people and you go to the Aguefort Adventuring Academy (made for the Specialest Kids) and in your freshman year these six kids who are respectively the son of the richest most insane dude within 1000 square miles, a tiefling girl whose dad is an archdevil, kid whose dad was killed by a dragon and has a biological link to most of the mysteries he solves, the literal Elven Oracle, Chosen One of a god (and one pretty much normal guy, but look at the rest of the roster). of course you think theyre set up for success, because you are woefully mundane and they so clearly have everything figured out. theyre apparently so strong they fight a dragon at 15 years old (which the principal brought himself back from the dead for? because he also COMMITTED MURDER-SUICIDE ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL SO THAT TWO OF THEM COULD LIVE???) while the rest of the freshmen stay in the far-haven woods. your adventuring party, the high-five heroes, is nice, and Lucy Frostblade is your best friend- she seems to think of you as one-in-a-billion, which you tell yourself is true. still, you see cracks- oisin and ivy would pick each other over the party any day, ruben votes against you because he knows youre upset about it, and mary ann is. there. then on your first real adventure out in the mountains, you are given a chaperone because you apparently can't handle yourselves- and you die anyway. rage brings you and most of your party back. lucy, however, stays dead, and you cant help but wonder if you simply werent special enough for her to get up again.
#anyway. rant over#fhjy#d20#d20 fhjy#kipperlilly copperkettle#dimension 20#dimension 20 fhjy#fhjy spoilers
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ahsei thoughts on frazel jason/piper and caleo GO
Okay SAW THIS AND WAS LIE. i need to mswer tjsi and. frazel didnt make me feel thst jason/piper didnt make me feel that CLEO CALEO IT FCUKIGN SUCKS EW I WIL TEL MORE.
ok so frazel is oki cuti coupel i like them theg so sweet like "will u hold my hand in fromt of everyone 🥺" vibes LIKE THE ONEEEE HE GIVES HIS LIFELINE TK HER BECAUSE HE TRUSTS HER SM HE HAS TRUST ISSUES HES SCRED AND TERRIFIED BYT HE GIVES IT TO HER AND SHE PROMISES TO KEEP IT SAFE WHY R PJO BOYS SO FUCKING UNRE AL WHEN WILL I FIND SOMEONE WHO WUD LITERALLY TRUST ME WITH TJEIR LIFE LKKE NKT FIGURATIVELY LITERALLY AMD WJO WUD LITERALLY GIVE UP GODHOOD FOR ME AND WHO WUD LITERALLY JUMP INTO THE UNDERWORLD FKR ME KYS FATE ASS BITCH
anyway
um so jsson/piper NO jiper. hehehehe or better yet pason ehehhehe idk what to fee about them tbh thty lowky give steggy vibes mainly cus jason gives me stvve vibes hes also stronh soldier traumatised asf. :( and piper is js like peggy badass gorgeous beautiful shud be with me i shud be kissing her rn alexa play boyfriend by dove cameron :( and I knwo the futjre i readspoilers so now its js there in my brain can do noting about it
omg this fucjing shitp. shit? ship? who knwos i literally adore calypso okay i love her sm but i just fucking hate it that they made her fall inlove with leo?? like this is wrong (to me) on so many levels a. she was CURSED to fall in love with every single demigod who ever went to ogygia or wtv. and it was devastating obvs that she had to go thru tht heartbreak again and again but !!!! IT WAS LITERALLY NOT HE. FAULT THE STUPID FUCJING DOGS sorry gods CURSED HER CUS SHE WAS. R E L A T E D. TO A TITAN. HOW IS THT FAIR. HOW .
and ir was literally. bound to happen. there was absolutely no way that be it percy or leo or whomstever thw fuck went to that god forsaken island SHE COULD NEVER EVER HELP BUT FALL IN LOVE WITH THAT PERSON SHE WAS CURSED. i js googled it btw in case i was wrong or misinformed BUT NO. SHE WAS CURSED. SHE . HAD. TO Fall FOR THAT PERSON EVEN IF SHE DIDNT WANT TO EVEN IF SHE HATED THEMM how is that fair to EITHER LEO OR CALYPSO??? I LOVE LEO SM HE IS MY BABY I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS?????. this IS SOOOOO REMADORA CODED DONT EVEN GET ME STARTEDDDDD like. it felt liek the author wamted both of them to be in a romantic relationship ANY romantic relationship and then was js like ok well theyre byh single lets do it. NO??? NOOOOOOO AND IF U SAY ooooo bu. they spent like 1000 days on the island tgt they developed chemistry NO BITVH THEY DIDNT. LEO WAS 16 YEAR OLD TEENAGE BOY WITH NO ROMANTIC EXPERIENCE EVER. like tell me u have never ever thought u have a crush on someone of the opposite gender while spending time with them even if u probably didnt have a crush on them??? if u haven't thats fine BECAUSE I HAVE and its Normal very many people go thru that u see perosn of opposie gendrr u R FORCED !!!! TO SPEND TIME WITH OERSON OF OPP GENDRRZ and u think omg ...... do i .... Like? them. WHAT. and u probably dont ur js a loser (like i was , like leo was) who has never spent tiem with someone of tbe opposite gender (wa. raised in an extremely 'conservative' read: boys and girls cannot ever just be normal friends household also wen to all girls elementary and high school , leo was js a loser thsts my excuse for hmm) OKAY GET IT???? THEY DID NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER WHILE MAKING MECHANIC PARTS TOGETHER at least leo didnt AND I LOVE MY GIRL CALYSO AND I LOVE ADORE LEO BUT I FUCKING BET IF CALYPSO WASNT CURSED SHE WUD NOT LOOK TWICE AT LEO HE IS LITERALLY JS A LOSER GUY PATHETIC (ADORABLE AWESOME AMAZING FUNNY BUT SRSLY LITERALLY NAM ONE GIRL WHO TOOK HIM SERIOUSLY OUT OF ALL THE GIRLS WE SEE HIM INTERACTING WITJ IN THE SERIOES) anyway thanks for coming to MY ted talk its MINE dont get offended love yall stay safe muah muah
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DAY 4: JANUARY 17, 2024
(i um. was a little busy. oops.)
STATS:
read for ~2 hrs
pages read: 860-1052. 192 pgs. reached pg 1000! wooo!!!
slur count: 6 + 2 = 8 (rose narration, john. both r slur)
silly count: 10 + 1 = 11 (john about roses building)
piss count: 1/3
THOUGHTS:
today started with jade's freshjamz!!!!!!!!! I LOVE!!! i mean dave kind of sucks at making music but jade doesnt! i love how homestuck shows the works of the characters. jades music daves blogs caliborns deviantart whatever. it makes them feel so REAL.
figured out the time differences! if we're staying at johns timezone, dave is 2 hrs ahead and rose is 3 hrs ahead. and jade is 4 hrs ahead!!!! when we were dave pov a convo with jade was at 6:30pm but at jade pov it was 12:30pm so you know.
the exiles are FINALLY MEETING UP!!!! PM!!!!!!!!! i looove pm shes what makes me want to be a mailman. what the hell are the snake worm things in pm's like structure? whats it called? with the terminal. theyre awful silly but theyre kind of freaky and i dont know what they are.
john faq i always read the faqs theyre so fun. john try not to mention your friends by irl name on public forum challenge (even if he assumes everyone else is dead lol). i do NOT understand alchemizing mostly cus i dont get binary. but whatever. maybe i will someday
KARKAT VANTAS! i think the first mentions of the trolls are here! yaaay!
dave strife theyre still strifing i didnt get to the end yet. s beatdown or whatever. always interesting to me that dave never gets sliced or anythign even though theyre fighting with ultra sharp swords. how much restraint is bro (strider) showing? the fights ARE intended to be strengthening dave. but they dont. cus hes a kid and hes passive. im a sucker for bro strider i know he sucks but ugh i love dirk too much
mom lalondes lab drives me coocoo crazy. pov youre rose you go under your dead cats big ass mausoleum and find a laboratory your mother uses. theres 1 battery unlocked just for you. theres a giant ass monitor showing sburb sessions and meteors. did your mother know? did your mother know what was going to happen? youre thirteen years old. do you know? theres bright pink kiddy furniture. did your mother use it? when did she get it? it looks pristine. did she sleep in this when she was little? did she sleep in it as an adult? why would she buy herself such a thing at an adult age? youre rose lalonde. youre thirteen and full of hatred. you dont understand anything. you wear your mothers scarf and you pick up a stray mutant cat and name it after a drink your alcoholic mother loves. youre thirteen and full of hatred and you dont understand anything and you want to, so badly. so so badly.
jade is awesome her scampering through the house rocks. i wonder if she actually believes pa harley is talking to her, or if he actually is, or if shes just pretending. it has to be because of trauma, right? is she genuine? she has to be genuine. right? fosmf if you know anything about this let me know
jack noir... midnight crew.... oh how i cant wait for the intermission.
johns various mental breakdowns (over the discovery of his dads room; over betty crocker gushers; over the drawings over his posters) are insane. he lashes out so weirdly. dave said like john never gets mad or frustrated over real big stuff and he instead funnels it into tiny meaningless problems. i wonder what that means. im not into john enough to read into it or know
jade (and dirk by extension) waking up on prospit (or derse) early makes me thiiiink. i wonder if theyd get freaked by regular normal dreams. they god tier and sleep and wake up in a cold sweat Hello? Where am i. Hello? I just slept and nothing was there. Where am i
thinking about rose + jade a lot these first few acts. i looove rose and i looove jade. i focused on jade a lot the first time i read so im trying to focus on rose more because shes AWESOME! and i want to get to know her better. she deserves it. but anyway thats enough for today sorry for taking like a 12 day break lol
#me#nutzworth hs reread#its midnight.... was racing to do this before bed lol. they call me the sleeper
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actually fuck it we're talkignm about it now. it being how shinsekai yori deals with sex and sexuality.
's fuckin weird dude! and its genuinely hard, once again, to tell what the author's stance on this is! in the beginning we learn that ancient humans, in attempting to create a new social model, considered basing it on bonobo society. bonobos as you may know are extremely promiscuous monkeys that solve nearly all interpersonal problems with sex. they decided against this, saying it wouldnt work, but elements are present in the society the show presents us. theyre much more permissible about sex and sexuality than modern japan. same-sex relationships are seen as completely normal for our 14-year-old protagonists. but we'll come back to that.
the knowledge that society couldve been based on bonobo sexual mores haunts saki for years. any time she's in a sexual situation, she thinks back on it. the first time is when her comphet boyfriend tries to have sex with her while theyre kidnapped by bakenezumi, and her response is basically 'we're better than monkeys'. which like, good on her for rejecting unwanted advances, but it bodes ill for the narrative the show pushes re: sex and sexuality.
at 14, the group's relationship dynamics look like this: saki is dating maria, but she's actually in love with shun, a boy ive neglected to talk about at all. saki's comphet boyfriend is dating shun and in love with him. shun tolerates this. maria is in love with saki. and mamoru is dating no one, and is in love with maria. i cant blame him. anyway we've got two cute little gay couples in our friend group! nobody seems to have anything to say about this, so its socially acceptable, right? i mean. sure. if youre 14. there are no adults in gay relationships. the assumption is still there, 1000 years in the future, that being gay is something that kids grow out of, some kind of practice for proper adult heterosexual relationships that can bear children. the only difference between modern japan and this fictional world is that boys are also allowed to be gay with each other as kids.
but even then! the narrative treats comphet boyfriend's gayness and saki's gayness completely differently. there's a validity to comphet boyfriend's feelings that is not afforded to saki. her feelings for maria are constantly overshadowed by her True Feelings for shun. meanwhile, comphet boyfriend's True Feelings for shun are just accepted. even years later, when maria's out of the picture, comphet boyfriend's gay crush is treated seriously. as 14 year olds, saki asks mamoru if it's really all that fun to choose to be alone and pine for the one you love instead of hooking up with someone. its pretty clear that she asks this because she wonders if she made the wrong choice to date maria, and maybe she shouldve stayed single hoping to get a chance with shun. when she's with maria, she remembers the bonobos. isnt she supposed to be better than this?
maria's crush on saki is more real, but it's not taken seriously either. she leaves her to be with mamoru, who she's never shown romantic interest in. but he loves her, and she cant have babies with saki, so it's only natural, right? sure she's sad to leave saki, but she has a Duty to this boy who has a crush on her, or something.
i dunno. i dont want to say the author is critiquing homosexuality here, or saying we should be better than that, or better than sex with little or no attachment, but it would be hard to deny it.
if someone's your dearest friend and lover, dont leave them to get pregnant in a rat colony. ok?
#shinsekai yori#sorry for spending 2 and a half hours ranting about this show#its given me some kind of brain worms
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You make me want to rewatch the anime...wonder if i can force my husband to watch it with me(he showed me it but it was like...highschool its been sooo long)
Since everyone has autism/hj? Do u have any headcanons for special interests?
I FUCKING LOVE THIS ASK also husband?? HUH?? KAGEFANS ARE MARRIED ALREADY??? huh...well...kagepro IS 12 years old HUH...HAHAHA *holds head* (happy late kageversary, btw)
everyone is autistic. yeah.
ayano's is 1000% all the superhero shit. comicbooks. i like to think of her as a huge spiderman fan. i think she'd love the guy. BUT YEAH comicbooks, superhero franchises in general lol
kido's is music! i imagine them as the kind of person who basically studies a whole album when it comes out LMAO i also think theyre the kind to be embarrassed abt talking a lot so theyre probably online a lot and is instead active in there. they rotate hyperfixating on different bands but music in general <3 also i think they hyperfixate on cooking sometimes and they will just cook and cook and cook one thing after another. it used to be a problem when they only lived with 3 other ppl but now there's like 10 more and also haruka so <3 no more wasted food!!!!
fuckgn. seto. animals. ANIMALS. ANIMALS. ANIMALS. i love ppl with animal special interests bc its literally the fucking BEST thing to talk about ever. and mary is plants. theyre both into each other's things too so their talks are so awesomely autistic i think seto and mary just talk for hours and hours and are always asking each other questions and if seto had a long day marys just like tell me abt why birds are fun colors like blue but not other animals :) and seto's like :DDDDD
momo and kano..... hmmm.. everyone else's seems so obvious. but them... like i see momo getting hyperfixated with a ton of different shit always rotating from lets players to toy collecting to makeup to lost media and etc etc but i cant think of like the One thing. kinda same with kano i feel like his thing is that he doesnt know who he is or what he wants so he wouldnt even Have his one thing. i think he'd be super into makeup tho. bc thats awesome but not only cutesy makeup but like special effects insane kinda thing. hes like whoa ppl change so much without any powers......... lol special effects makeup artist kano real
takane. lol. god theyre all so fucking obvious. coding. and i love takane but programmer ppl are SOOOOOO ANNOYING god this bitch would be insufferable. but the autism makes it awesome so its ok theyre not annoying <3 obviously videogames too. UGH harutaka indie game developers is so real to me. also this one is more my hc but erm technician takane is real he is real to me <3 the dan out of wifi bc this bitch took apart the router AGAIN just bc they like looking at the insides. the dan is complaining until the wifi is back AND its faster bc takanes improving and hacking shit. she helps shintaro build his epic pc
shintaro ohhh mygod have u ever met a more autistic bitch than this. he is everything. music!!!! like kido!!!!!!!!! i think kido and shintaro are an underrated duo. in the novels they hang out so much. wait im getting off topic ERM pianist shintaro is real to me idc. also super into collectibles of anime figures lol. also videogames!!! and lost media. i think he'd be one of those people super excited that a secret burgerking commercial never translated from english was found (momo too, they bond over it)
hibiya with the doll making shit. doll costumizing. also psychology post-shitshow bc hes 12 and hes like whoa. this wasnt normal *studies abt how this will affect him and his friends* i talked abt this in a hibiya ask i got lol but yeah also his whole thing abt making dolls. ofc it comes from something creepy but i still think its a cute thing he knows how to do i think he'd love using his new smartphone to find out abt doll costumizing communities and he sews mini mekakushi dan for everyone <3
i bestow to haruka the autistic honor of dinosaurs. FUCK YEAHHHHHHHHHHH also art/drawing ofc. and cartoons/animation. ppl who like to draw like cartoons okay. he'd be into that. idk if into animating himself i rather see haruka as a painting kinda girl. AND OFC VIDEOGAMES. srry to harutaka again but harutakas autism coexists so harmoniously ...domestic harutaka... these bitches have NO real schedules and are staring at their computers drawing/coding for days. it stinks in there. they make an autistic game together born from their autistic and disabled love. heart<3
i cant think anything for hiyori so hiyori experts feel free to add. maybe idols n stuff!! back to music heh
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i watched this episode like right when koharu like. got released as a character (as released as she got. still isnt in the normal gacha.) and it really set the scene for how i see koharu as a character. its kinda fantastic actually you know how much i eat up a character that presents herself as being incredibly innocent and sweet and she is for the most part but at the same time shes like desperate for companionship and physical touch which i can imagine is really difficult when you have to work where you live and essentially have no privacy and now youre suddenly thrust into a space where you youre surrounded by other adult women and theyre all just slightly older than you (save for nyotengu but like. you know shes basically in her 20s even though shes 1000s of years old) and theyre all super physically affectionate and touchy and flirty and you feel like your brain is going to melt out of your head at all times
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im not too far in it yet but 3 hopes just. LITERALLY feels like they are taking everything people (me) complained about and were frustrated by in 3h and rewriting it with a new timeline
whys everyone obsessed w this blank slate nothing player character? -> now player character is voice acted and has their own character voice and makes their own choices and other characters like them a normal amount
whys the main character a teacher meant to grow extremely close and have romancable student options? -> PC is now also a student (and i believe 17ish? from a google search lol)
whys the god possessing you some weird 1000 year old dragon child (again)? -> new brain roommate who at least isnt typical fe 1000 child-looking dragon
why did edelgard go off and start some huge war even though she couldve work together with the other powers of fodlan? -> working together with everyone now (it seems im not very far in so take w a grain of salt--)
LIKE its honeslyt hilarious how much theyre rewritign eveything. and since i think the route of 3h is annoying im actually 100% here for it lol yeah fuck byleth and lets make edelgard make more sense please. hope they still let me kill rhea but. well see U_U
#firor emblem#3 hopes spoilers#idk jic ////#again ive only played the begingin but. lol this is so funny
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wough some witches stuff... i wanted to practise drawing smaller bodies/kids so heres some beta ideas for how aratamo and nicoleta looked when they were younger. LORE STUFF BELOW
OKAY witches age a lot slower than humans/other species. witches treat the ages 0-500 as like. kids. a 13 year old in witch terms is like a newborn baby. 120 would be like a fresh middle school graduate. witches typically go to school between the ages of 12-100 to learn magic n stuff.
aratamo is a regular witch so he aged normally, but nicoleta is a (affectionate!!!!) freak of nature who is unnaturally made. she doesnt really hide it but nicoleta isn't a """real""" witch, meaning she wasn't born and is made from like. beetle bits and clay. (which is where the 6 arms come from)
she aged slower than other witches and is technically the youngest witch teaching at the academy (despite being old as the others) (also shes the youngest minus the One Human working there) shes treated like a child despite her age and it does make her mad
when a witch is like. 1000, theyre like 18-19 in human years. a witch that is 10,000+ is a fully formed adult. a majority of the professors at the academy are over uhhh 15,000... ish. some are older but the average is around that. the oldest at the academy is the principal whos OLD AS FUCK. like he was prob around for the dinosaurs honestly.
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six of crows groupchats <3
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Lk9nHxo
by canard729
i need more six of crows chat fics in my life, so here we are :)
this is mostly kaz-centric because he's my favourite crow (shocker i know)
ill leave any warnings in the notes beforehand!
also quick preface: im british so school stuff may be a bit diff to us schools :) - since soc is fantasy i can do what i want with this modern school au, so theyre the same age as the book characters, BUT they're all in year eleven (normally 15-16 year olds) i don't care that it doesn't make sense :)
Words: 1000, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English
Fandoms: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M
Characters: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Matthias Helvar, Nina Zenik, Jordie Rietveld
Relationships: Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck, Matthias Helvar/Nina Zenik, Kaz Brekker & Jesper Fahey & Inej Ghafa & Matthias Helvar & Wylan Van Eck & Nina Zenik
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - High School, Jesper Fahey Has ADHD, Everyone Has Issues, Autistic Wylan Van Eck, Dyslexic Wylan Van Eck, Autistic Kaz Brekker, Touch-Averse Kaz Brekker, Kaz Brekker Needs a Hug, Kaz Brekker-centric, Kaz Brekker is Trying, Angst, Fluff, Minor Violence
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Lk9nHxo
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so is thistle like. a child or smth. hes so tiny
#but like hes over 1000 years old youd think hed look more like other adult elves. at least theyre taller#comparing him to laius really put it in perspective like marcille isnt much smaller and compared to kabru misurn seems normal.#but thistle is soooo small#ah well. the immortality component exists ig.#so he could just be a kid lol
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nobody asked but its TOO LATE i have headcanons and i will SHARE THEM ((before i forget them all))
ahem
this will be covering both vort/vortian and lard nar hcs
- vortians are smaller than humans but larger than irkens. most of their body length is sweet sweet leg. maintaining leg health is important because the blood vessels in them help continue circulation. theyre carnivorous by nature, but modern vort is privy to new, foreign foods, such as irken junk. all vortians regardless of gender grow horns, and age determines their length. modern vortians can live to be 1000 years old! elderly vortians will also often grow little tufty beards! their ear fur begins to fray too
- vortians fucking love their sleeveless bodysuits and shoulder accessories. long sleeves arent a very common fashion choice
- vort is led by a matriarch ((or a patriarch, depends on their gender)) who is usually the oldest vortian with the most respect and most children. ((however not having children is slowly becoming normalized with progressive efforts))
- baby vortians are called pups, despite their similarities to goats. they usually are born in pairs of three, but litters of up to eight have occurred!
- vortians live communally and have close bonds with their families and neighbors. children are mostly raised by their bio parents but are just as often taken care of by their community
- lard nars mother, however, was feeling a little different and quirky after her husband died. she refused help from her family and neighbors in raising her singular pup. she was a very overprotective parent, which made already skittish baby nar even more anxious. however, she was a genuinely loving mom, who did her best to raise her precious baby boy
- vortians will be educated by their family and community for most of their early childhood before entering school when they are about 13 years old ((equivalently))
- lard nar was excited to go to school, even if he was pretty scared too. he was fascinated by science and wanted so badly to learn more than his mom could teach him. she fretted about it of course but nonetheless signed him up for it. sure she was tempted to constantly keep watch over her sweet baby, but maybe it was time for him to learn just a little bit of independence
- the first few weeks of school fucking SUCKED. lard nar was constantly anxious, breaking down over any pressure or challenge. he was also out of touch with his fellow students, not properly socialized during his early childhood. not that he was purposefully ostracized, no no, but vortian children arent very used to other pups who dont constantly want to talk and play! eventually though, they learned how to be more gentle with lard nar, and help him come out of his trembling shell. well, as best as they could anyways. he still screamed and fainted over the barest stressors
- irk and vort had been in an alliance almost since tallest miyuki first came into power. lard nar didnt encounter any irken influence at all really until the later years of his pupschool. sure he never saw an irken, but all the adults and nosy kids were talking about the politics between them, and he didnt know what to think of it. suddenly there was all of these advertisements about joining the irken military and science factions, working for them, buying from them, lard nar was pretty baffled by it
- but being a clever kid, of course he got into the science school he always wanted. the irken empire sponsored this school to let any vortian qualified enough join! yeah maybe military science wasnt his first choice, working with all of that dangerous equipment was a little frightening, but thats what science was all about! danger, and pushing through that fear to discover new things!
- and it didnt stop there. lard nar successfully graduated without blowing anything up, and everything was going uphill! he was quickly chosen for an off-plant research station ((also sponsored by irk)), good paying with good company, and he could not have been more excited. until the working conditions proved to be. less than stellar. he was paid wonderfully, but the working hours, the deadlines, the small team, the lack of vacation days, and management that never even set foot in the building was HELL. and still, he worked. surely they would be rewarded for this! they were making important weapons and ships for their trusted allies! tallest miyuki HERSELF commissioned them! he just had to keep going
- then came zim. zim was the highlight, and the bane of the station. he was destructive, but bright and clever. he was annoying and okay maybe a little untrustworthy as an outsider, but he was just a pup, and just as endearing. but they werent stupid. irkens didnt raise their pups, irkens did not treat them as such, and they certainly didnt love their pups, from the way he was dragged and thrown in by guards stating that he would remain there as some kind of exile or punishment. lard nar could see why, he was an absolute menace. but oh, he couldnt say no to those big ol eyes. of course, that tiny pup also created a monster that ate tallest miyuki and made irk start a war against vort for supposedly assassinating their leader, but he could never hate him. not like the others he would soon come to
- suddenly vort is on fire. ships, weapons, and buildings are destroyed. vortians are asked either to become workers, be arrested, or die. lard nars mother refused to go with the irkens until her son was back home. by the time he got there, it was long too late
- evading capture was difficult, and it was so so tempting to crumble, give in, and accept death or imprisonment. he was absolutely terrified. but he was the only one with a warship, he was the only one left standing, and he was the only one who could do something
- recruiting for the resisty mostly came from hushed whispers and careful careful planning. most werent fit for battle, let alone a whole resistance, but neither was lard nar, so he had to take what he could get
#iz#invader zim#vort#vortian#vortians#lard nar#headcanons#iz headcanons#longpost#long post#vermi.txt#ough#im so fucking good at this game#but ow my hands
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It's my first day of period and I'm feeling light-headed/woozy. So instead of being productive, I'm thinking of Joe-and-Nicky. Mainly, their sleeping position lol. In thimking about when/how they got to and agreement to sleep in that position ie Joe Big spoon and nicky lil spoon/knife... Is it because a)they just really like it or b)they got killed many times (>>> #times they killed each other) if they slept differently c)some other dumb reason or d) a combination of all of the above. Kthnxbye
[PUTS ON READING GLASSES] [CRACKS KNUCKLES]
listen im ALWAYS thinking about the snuggles. ALWAYS. 24/7 snuggles zone in my brain
bc like????? its spooning???? and they do it every night?? even when theyre sleeping on the train?? full body 100% contact cuddle-snuggles, all night every night??? (excluding probable nights where they dont snuggle/snuggle otherwise)
look, theyre in JEANS and joe’s got a leg between nicky’s, you cant tell me that thats actually comfortable irl, and yet there they are, full cuddles, legs tangled, while wearing jeans. theyre cuddling Experts
(which also raises the side note that like. as far as varying cuddling positions go, spooning is rather high-risk for awkward boner situations. like whats joe supposed to do in that situation. book and nile and andy are Right There its not like he can actually do anything about it. does the rectory have a bathroom. anyways.)
despite all the obvious drawbacks, This is how they sleep. This is how they choose to sleep every night of their 900 year lives. This is what they find comfiest. its just [chefs kiss]
LOOMK AT THEM
now i have so many thoughts re: How Is Started bc like...... how Did it start tho.
Thoughts:
1. i know that Ye Olde Toxic Masculinity looked a bit different in the 1000s, and i.... think i read somewhere on tunglr that it was considered ‘normal’ around the time for dudes to snuggle but dont take my word on that. so i like the idea that it started with them just. platonically snuggling In The Way That Dudefriends Just Do and it kind of snowballed from there
[♪ 2 dudes, cuddling on a sleeping mat, 0 feet apart bc theyre gay but neither of them have actually told the other and they both think their feelings are unrequited ♪]
2. alternatively ik it can get pretty damn cold in desert-y areas at night so. cuddling for warmth............................................................ ‘platonically’
3.
nicky: how come every time we go to bed we start out back-to-back and we wake up spooning? this is ridiculous
joe, who has nightmares in the middle of the night and keeps waking up scared and wanting to Hold something: haha yeah weird
4. you ever think abt how when nicky just broadcasts I Want To Be Held vibes
idk the man hugs like this
and smth abt him in this scene just broadcasts ‘wanna be held’ vibes 2 me. idk. maybe i just wanna hold him
but you know that meme/joke thats like ‘punch me in the face’ ‘you want me to punch you in the face?’ ‘thats what i said!’ ‘yeah but thats what i usually hear when you speak, its just normally subtext’ ?
That, but with ‘i want you to hold me’ instead of ‘i want you to punch me’ & with joe and nicky
5. nicky getting killed in some particularly gruesome way and afterwards joe is like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and cant sleep bc hes Worried and nicky is like ‘..do you want to just sleep over here with m--’ and joe practically breaks an ankle trying to scramble over asap
6. ‘theres only one bed’ but theyre both such sweethearts they both INSIST the other take the bed, so in an attempt to out-stubborn the other, they both end up sleeping on the floor (and also somehow end up cuddling by morning)
7. joe and nicky fall asleep facing each other Once and it ends with the two of them skewered on the same bandit’s sword and unable to pull it out and after nicky is just like [breathes in] Next Time We’re Both Facing The Same Direction
8. joe and nicky being separated in the night somehow (maybe nicky woke up and wandered off and got jumped for whatever reason?) and joe being like ‘[rolls up sleeves] NOBODY CAN TAKE NICKY AWAY IF I WRAP ALL OF MY LIMBS AROUND HIM AND HOLD ON ALL NIGHT LONG’ and weirdly enough, hey it works
#the squad splits up for a mission and nicky and andy are teamed up#nicky lying on the floor of the safehouse at 2:25AM in pure agony#andy: do you just want me to spoon with y--#nicky sucking his grateful tears back into his face: Yeah That Would Be Nice Thank You#Anonymous#feel better anon!!!!
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im sure someone else is going to say sentinel and ive already worn out the send you rewrite for an ask game joke so. prowl :]
you are only the second person to send me an ask actually. comedically. being the sentinel guy has many downfalls (everyone assumes someone said sentinel already /JOKE) i can do tfa prowl yes :-)
favorite thing about them
well hes simply the best prowl because he absolutely isnt prowl at all. like not even close. that is just a man who happens to share the same name with prowl. im (mostly) kidding i havent really consumed a lot of tfmedia especially not any with prowl prevalent so i dont know if theres any other really good prowls and i just havent encountered them yet or whatever but i really do like his character so much. we love to see an autistic robot. i think his growth over the show is very interesting and like... hes such a handsome little man (spoken the way you would about like a tuxedo cat) his design is so interesting and again its so funny because girl that is NOT prowl! not even CLOSE!
least favorite thing about them
theres not a lot i dislike about tfa prowl, but i will say the end of the show........ the season 4 scripts literally imply that scrapper mixmaster and dirtboss and wreck gar are still out there.......... they were willing to perma kill starscream on screen. for just a single tfa constructicon life we could save prowl. i guess its more of a story critique, without season 4 to have the whole ghost prowl plot happen, his death sort of feels.. out of nowhere...? he was training, he became literally so comically powerful, i guess the only thing stopping him from being the answer to all problems would be to kill him. but like... without season 4 it just feels so abrupt. still makes me cry a little though god bless (salute)
favorite line
anytime tfa prowl says "fascinating..." is so everything to me. he is entranced by the beauty of organic life. but i do have to love the quip he does to bumblebee in the season 1 finale where he says that they need to use bumblebees strongest power, and after bee himself lists a few things, he cuts in and goes "Your obnoxious personality." i love that so much
brOTP
i dont have a specific relationship i like the most with prowl, but i do think him and jazz shouldve gotten more screentime together. they shouldve been better friends :(
OTP
did you know prowl is at the very least like a million years old? because he was drafted for the war? as in, the great war? as in, prowl is closer to ratchet aged than anyone else? this is not ending the way you think i still think bulkprowlbee is everything but prowl never clarifies hes the second oldest at all because theyre all adults so he just assumes they know however hes got like godly cybertronian genes and all that ninja training that make him look so young so one day bumblebee very boldly says something about "old bots" in reference to optimus (note: in my mind, bumblebee is like cybertronian mid 20s and optimus is cybertronian mid 30s) and prowl looks at him so baffled and goes ".... you do know im older than him, right?" and bumblebee goes "...huh" and prowl goes "bumblebee, i was drafted for the great war. im closer to ratchet in terms of age than anything." and bumblebee completely shuts down and its not for the reason you think at all its 100% because he didnt know his boyfriend was a silver fox otherwise he wouldve made like 1000 more jokes about it. everyone else is also so baffled by this revelation. i want to talk about this more in my headcanon section
nOTP
im not as opposed to it as some people are, but i do still think prowl/lockdown is a little strange. i think you have to make prowl like 100% not an autobot for that which i will admit is funny as fuck but it just genuinely makes no sense to imagine them shipped in a normal tfa timeline aligned situation. also not a notp per se but sometimes i see people ship prowl and lugnut and that baffles me endlessly. you do you but also thats the funniest thing i have ever imagined. how did you get to that conclusion at all
random headcanon
autobots and their reactions to learning prowl was draft dodger in the great war (mostly the age part)
optimus: dead silence and the most horrified expression you could imagine. he assumed prowl was his age, maybe a little older or younger, give or take. he needs a bit to sit down knowing he is commanding over two people who are literally like 100x his age. once hes over it he asks about the war because of course he does
bumblebee: see otp answer
bulkhead: so so so very shocked and he needs to process it so bad but he clarifies so fast and so panicked that it changes nothing and that theyre all still friends (or boyfriends if you believe in bulkprowlbee). the moment he gets over it despite what he said he starts worrying about his health like hes an old old man and prowl is like "bulkhead i appreciate it im pretty sure im in better physical shape than all of you perhaps even combined"
ratchet: literally does not believe him. literally refuses to believe this. he is so shocked and in denial. and when prowl provides proof that its true, ratchet goes dead silent in horror for like 20 seconds with this absolutely incredulous look on his face, followed instantly by more rage, going "WAIT just a allspark-damned minute, youre a DRAFT DODGER?!" and now that conversation is happening.
bonus jazz and sentinel because i feel like it
jazz: is older than him, and its not a shock. hed recognize yoketrons teachings anywhere
sentinel: DID NOT KNOW JAZZ WAS THAT OLD. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOURE HAT OLD. JAZZ. JAZZ COME BACK! OPTIMUS! OPTIMUS (FRANTICALLY SHAKING HIM BY THE SHOULDERS) WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT LITTLE FREAK ON YOUR TEAM IS GREAT WAR AGE AND SO IS JAZZ? (10 SECOND PAUSE IN TIME) (OPTIMUS SHRUGS AND MAKES THAT "IDK" SOUND) DONT SHRUG AT ME I NEED ANSWERS
unpopular opinion
uhhhh. hm. i dont know actually. i dont have a lot of crazy opinions on prowl. is the whole "prowl acts so smart but is so stupid" thing unpopular? can i say i think prowl is academically smart but he would probably wouldnt hesitate to jump off a cliff if prompted? but only because he thinks its a good idea/he thinks he can do it. i think prowl would do anything against orders if he thought he could
song i associate with them
i have never thought about prowl while listening to a song in my life so im just going to go to my best friend the family jewels, album by marina who previously had some diamonds, and hold up Are You Satisfied? i think it fit him. a lot actually.
favorite picture of them
this image i found on google at like 3 am once that was a wattpad fanfic cover i think. it makes me cry. its the funniest shit i have ever seen.
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Finale commentary under the cut
So I wanted to kind of liveblog as I was watching but held back so these are my remembered reactions/second watch reactions
Bummed there was no song recap but quickly figured itd play at the end
PUPPY. Best part of the ep, lbr, Dean was so cute with him
Theyre really doing a cheesey life montage huh - still not clear whether monsters are a thing in this new world?
I was watching the mins tick by during this first montage like OKAY we get it, cheesey happy home life, move along. There was only 40 mins left of the whole show like get on with it, it went way too long
We definately needed to restablished that Sam is neat while Dean is messy. Totally necessary to spend time on that. Also didnt Dean get houseproud when they moved into the bunker?? What happened to that?
OMG get on with it
Then becomes apparent that hunting is still a thing. Which if so what was the point of showing then doing fucking laundry and dishes while “Ordinary life” plays - if its not just an ordinary life?
At this point i thought it might go the route of them being listless without hunting as a job but then murder scene so I guess not
This whole pie sequence is stupid and a waste of time, we all know it
Dean being a cold, heartless bitch about everyone being dead. Aces. Not unexpected but still just great. How dare you be so happy about pie fuck you dude.
DOES ANYONE REMEMBER EILEEN
Pie is the face is not funny my dudes come the fuck on
I started skipping through during the murder scene. I was bored. Like, I dont care about tension building to the murder of a family we dont fucking know. Ive always skipped these scenes, what is the damn point. Its not scary or interesting.
GET ON WITH IT
Same old FBI bullshit. Nice to see the journal again I guess. But like, this is STILL what we’re doing? In the very last ep? Same old, different day, just like 15 years ago. Really?
Singer and Kripke. Subtle.
I skipped through the interrogation too. I dont find the scary brother act cool or entertaining
15 mins in and nothing has happened
Theyre trying so hard to give Dean jokes and nothing is landing, its so cringe just stop
The way the little clown faces pop up - if that supposed to be scary? Really? Its all just so silly rn
Watching it again I realise just how easy this hunt is. The answer is in the journal. They find the exact family. They find the exact barn. The kids are just stood in a cupboard. This is what takes Dean out, really? Its not even a normal hunt, its a way too fucking easy one.
I do not remember this chick or what ep she was in, maybe theres some parallell or foreshadowing by bringing her back but if there is I dont get it
Bottom line if youre gonna bring people back WHY THE FUCK THIS RANDOM GIRL
I knew so fast he was gonna go out like that. Hanging from a fucking nail
I kept saying out loud not like this, no way, this is so stupid, its so stupid omg
I paused and tried to talk myself into putting aside how stupid and awkward it was for him to be doing this scene hanging off a pole and just try to invest in the emotion of the speech. Which I achieved at times
but why was is so awkward tho?? Just the way hes stood pressed against it is fucking weird. Also 1000% Sam couldve gotten help and he wouldve been FINE. It took so long for them to talk, an ambulance couldve been there before they were done, there was no need for this
Okay the speech did make me cry once I pep talked myself into being invested. The reference to being scared Sam would reject him, the I love you so much, Sam saying dont leave me, the stay with me and tell me its okay - all those moments got me and I did cry. I appreciated the family business line. I liked Jensen telling Jared he always keeps fighting, that was a nice reference.
BUT there were also those moments that made me scoff, roll my eyes or laugh. The whole “always you and me” bullshit especially. The second I knew he was going to say I’ll be in your heart I yelled at them to no do it, I hate that cheesey move, then literally was like “oh my god, he did it”. It WAS NOT always going to end like this - so much of the last 15 years was proving him wrong about that. This is all just so wrong, it is not good.
Jensen and Jared did a good job with what they were given in this scene but my god
The audacity of the Cas erasure- always you and me. FUCK YOU.
I laughed out loud when his last shot was a One Perfect Tear. I was literally like “Oh wow they did that”
DEAN DESERVED A BETTER DEATH
It also kinda loses all impact when you see him like 2 mins later
MIRACLE IS THE REAL MVP ILY
Theyre really doing another montage. Really. Like we get it, hes sad, we didnt need the toast to understand that
Omg Miracle by his side. The best of bois.
Looking around his room like beer and guns was all dean was. Sure. Aces.
I choose to believe Bon Jovi was a ref to before Dean went to hell
If Donna is back why isnt anyone else?!?
Oh Jared you look so old bby. Go home. He looks older there then later in the ridiculous make up
Why is that shot made to look like hes leaving the bunker forever?? Like that makes no sense
Bobby greeting him is nice and all BUT IT SHOULDVE BEEN CAS
Also they are 1000% doing the show don’t tell by having Bobby just sit and explain everything. SO FUCKING LAZY
Cas has been out of the empty, helping rebuild heaven. Okay, fine. Even Dean’s reaction to hearing that was fine. BUT YOU ASK WHERE YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND IS AND GO SEE HIM. WHO IS THIS VERSION OF DEAN WTF
I know people are upset Cas is back working in heaven but I dont think its anything like before. It sounds like he helped fixed things then got his own heaven. Also he’s God’s Dad, hes not serving God, hes teaching him. I know human Cas done right is what we wanted but I dont hate this for him. BUT WE SHOULD HAVE FUCKING SEEN IT.
Why is a memory of being a kid with his Dad what Dean is reminiscing on. They have literally reverted him back to s1. There are so many memories dean should be thinking about in fucking heaven
Hes going for a drive
Hes going for a motherfucking drive
In the car he was just in
WHY THE FUCK IS HE ACTING LIKE HE HASNT SEEN BABY IN YEARS WHAT IS THIS SHIT
Hes going to drive around doing nothing until Sam gets there are you fucking kidding me. Not going to see any of his family from the last 15 years, just driving. Absolute horseshit.
This is the moment where you realise that this episode has changed NOTHING. This is the same ending as the last ep except theyre in heaven not on earth
ITS THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING
Okay so they skip over how Sam went from going on a hunt to walking with a toddler. OMG how unsubtle that they have literally just labelled the child Dean in big yellow letters. I couldnt help but laugh, how fucking stupid.
I did get a bit teary when the music started I’ll be honest. But mostly through the whole montage (ANOTHER ONE) I was saying to myself This is so fucking stupid. omg this is dumb, what the fuck is this, so stupid.
They literally did a montage so long they had to play the song twice. Im just done at this point wow.
The old man make up is so bad I just laughed. The only pictures being of the 4 of them, reinforcing the Winchester only bullshit, great. Not even pics of this new random family Sam’s got. The painfully cliche Dad moments for Sam, again so bad its funny. Omg the hand on the head of this random kid, this is so ridiculous. Old man sam in his bad wig trying so hard to move like hes old and crying in the impala. Wtf is happening, this is SO STUPID
I thought theyd cast a more attractive son I’ll be honest. So he has the tattoo - are they a hunting family? Because that would go against both s1 Sam they’ve tried to go back to and the s15 Sam they build up to for all those years
I know they were going for an emotional parallel with that “you can go now” but this random man saying it to Sam in that make up, with the music cue lined up right there - its just funny coz its so dumb im sorry
I cant believe they actually played another different version, I’ll never get over that
Theres alot of things I’ll never get over
Is this bridge supposed to mean something? They shouldve picked a setting that meant something
I know theyre trying so hard to make Dean look happy and peaceful to convince us its a good ending but sis no
I laughed out loud when Dean turned around - WHAT IS THAT OUTFIT SAM?
Really, they have nothing to say? No questions, no convo? They just have cheesey smiles and look over the water? This is so wrapped up in a fucking bow trying to force us to feel good my god
The cut almost immediately to them talking to the camera, still in character getup, was so cringe I yelled and turned it off
And they pan out to literally none of the people we want to see . Great, Good.
LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE POINT
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Lol explain Kingdom hearts to me. Like all of it. Cause I'm confused as fk. Not KH3 tho cause I'm still going through it.
buckle up lads
so theres a buncha keyblade masters called foretellers and theyre all runnin round like headless chickens cause their master disappeared and nobodys telling each other anything so they all start fightin (except this one guy luxu voiced by max mittleman, he grabbed a box and high tailed it outta there) and then it sparks a keyblade war for all the light in kingdom hearts i think ??? and then i legit forget what happens from here because i hate ux with every fiber of my being but it made this cool place called a keyblade graveyard, its pretty dope.
fast forward 1000 years and we got the cool wayfinder trio all living in land of departure about to take their mark of mastery except terra doesnt pass because Mark Hamil Said Darkness Sucks. also we meet this old guy Xehanort he kinda sucks a lot. theres these enemies called unversed rolling around and mark hamil tells aqua and terra to go stop them but ventus said HEY IM COMING TO and ran after terra so aquas left to be the mom to bring them both home idk and its revealed ventus is made of pure light and xehanort literally split the darkness form his heart and it made vanitas-- hes responsible for all the unversed, he sucks, we dont like him but we love him-- in an effort to forge this thing called the X-Blade (PRONOUNCED LIKE KEY BLADE I HATE THIS SERIES) that will open the door to kingdom hearts, and the x-blade can only be made when pure light and darkness clash, and like... restart the keyblade war and bring about balance?? idk. And xehanort wants to live long enough to see this happen so he literally possesses terras body. Cool! Just what the poor guy needed. Ven and vanitas fight and ven sacrifices himself so he goes to take a Very Long Nap and vanitas just dies like the bitch he is. But ven’s heart finds his way to baby 5yo sora who decides HEY ILL HOARD YOU IN MY HEART FOR THE NEXT 11 YEARS and thats why roxas looks like ventus. Aqua yeets him in the land of departure and then like..locks the world up and it turns into castle oblivion. meanwhile terra and aqua punch each other and terras about to fall into a darkness pit but aqua sacrifces heself to get him out and so she ends up trapped there for 11 years and terra??is now terranort and has amnesia and this old dude Ansem The Wise finds him and adopts him and an apprentice. yeah. bet he wont regret that decision ; )
10 years later kh1 happens and sora and riku and kairi are chilling on destiny islands until it explodes and riku fucks off to the darkness and kairi fucks off to soras hearts -- i hope she said hi to ventus in there-- and sora ends up in traverse town where he meets donald and goofy. YOU SEE king mickey of disney castle also fucked off because worlds are disappearing to darkness and he left donald and goofy a note to go find The Key cause thatll help. so they do and they journey around with sora and become good buddies i love the trinity trio so much. eventually they meet riku at hollow bastion again and hes been posssessed by this dude Ansem whos not Ansem the Wise but is actually Xehanort’s Heartless (i hate this fucking series) and they find kairis comatose body chillin in the corner and they have a fight scene thats engraved in the memory of Everyone whos ever played PS2 KH1 KAIRI! KAIRI! OPEN YOUR EYES! ITS NO USE. THAT GIRL HAS LOST HER HEART. SHE CANNOT WAKE UP. oh my god why didnt they add a skip scene button. anyway they punch the possession outta riku and sora stabs himself with the keyblade to release kairis heart BUT it also releases his own heart which created his nobody, Roxas, who got vens heart???who thats why he looks like ven?? and it created namine who is kairis nobody because??i honestly forget i hate this goddamn series. anyway soras a heartless for a few minutes but kairi got her heart and life back and wanted to get some sweet sweet screentime and so she saved sora and restored him Thank you kairi. so sora dumps kairi off at traverse town and goes to give Ansem / Xehanort’s Heartless a good ol ass whopping ad they win and restore the worlds but kairi and sora are separated again I’LL COME BACK TO YOU, I PROMISE! I KNOW YOU WILL! WHEN YOU WALK AWAY YOU DONT HEAR ME SAY PLEAAAAAAASE OH BABYYY DONT GO oh also riku and king mickey and sora closed the door to kingdom hearts and trapped riku and mickey in the realm of darkness, that was a thing.
and then chain of memories happened. theyre in castle oblivion!!! whoa!! we meet the organization for the first time! whoa!!! we meet namine!! whoa!!! so like namine has sora-memory powers and can tinker with his memories and the memories of everyone hes connected to (AND HOLY FUCK IS THAT BOY CONNECTED TO A LOTTA PEOPLE NAMINE IS VERY POWERFUL) and the organization is making namine rewrite soras memories as he progresses throuhg castle oblivion to turn him into marluxias pawn so he cna use sora to like..overhtrow the organization, i think?? i hate this seriees. but it all works out in the end except soras memories are so scrambled he decides to sleep for a year to get all the right ones back. MEANWHILE RIKUS IN THE BASEMENT OF CASTLE OBLIVION and hes fighting his own demons i mean darkness i mean ansem i mean xehanorts heartless and he meet up with mickey a few times and then he meets DiZ and he also meets a replica of himself--yeah by the way the organization is making replicas, That Sure Wont Ever Be Referenced Again : )-- and its this game that rikus like YEAH I CAN USE THE DARKNESS AS POWER AND STRENGTH and HES GONNA WALK THE ROAD TO DAWN and then every riku rper put dawn in their url and i got confused trying to keep them all straight lord please help me im a little ol sammi
then we have 358/2 days for the DS which i never replayed cause it was tedious af which is all about the organization and roxas’s time in the organization and meeting his best buds axel and xion and saix standing in the corner being a jealous little binch PLEASE SAIX JUST BE NICE THEYLL GIVE YOU ICE CREAM TOO IF YOU ASK POLITELY Xion is another replica except shes a replica of sora but something got messed up and she got his memories of kairi which is why she looks like her but with black hair for whatever reason, i think nomura just wanted a cool goth girl to add to the series and we all thank him for it, and she and roxas become so close they kinda start influencing that weird memory shit going on and xion keeps trying to leave the organization to set things right but axel always gets stuck with the icky jobs and we got the iconic GO ON YOU JUST KEEP RUNNIN BUT ILL ALWAYS BE THERE TO BRING YOU BACK and i think around this time roxas is also super fed up with the organization and decides FUCK YALL IM DONE and punches saix and leaves. but xion finds him and they have a cool boss battle sequence got i love you xion you are a POWERHOUSE but roxas defeats her and she dies and its the saddest thing in the world AND NOBODY REMEMBERS HER WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT!!!! anyway roxas decides hes gonna punch kingdom hearts next cause it was xions last wish but riku, who is sporting a cool blindfold for edge, is like HEY WE NEED YOU TO WAKE UP SORA and roxas is all SORA THIS SORA THAT I DONT GIVE A FUCK and tey fight! and riku loses cause roxas has two keybladees! OBLIVION IS THE BEST KEYBLADE IT LOOKS SUPER COOL I LOVE IT SO MUCH WOW but riku rips off his blindfold and summons the darkness and he takes on ansems, xehanorts heartless, appearance and he squeezes roxas until he passes out and then they yeeted roxas into a data twilight town for a few days.
so enter kh2 with the 6 hours roxas tutorial in the data twilight town until he goes to find sora and returns to him. SO FINALLY AFTER AN ENTIRE YEAR sora wakes up with all his proper memories and so does donald and goofy and theyre like COOL LETS GO FIND RIKU AND KING MICKEY and they go journeying around the worlds again to stop the organization. meanwhile axels gettin desperate to see his best friend for life roxas again and kidnaps kairi but shes like HEY I AINT HAVING THAT and runs off and ends up in twilight town but axel finds her and kidnaps her anyway but then saix kidnaps her to the world that never was. and so soras like WE GOTTA GO SAVE KAIRI AND RIKU NOW cause by the way earlier like midpoint of the game maybe Mickey was like SAY FELLAS DID SOMEONE MENTION THE DOOR TO DARKNESS and its one of my favorite quotes in this hell franchise, so like THYE KNOW KING MICKEY IS OK that just leaves kairi and riku and stopping the organization. so they find kairi and they find riku and sora cries a bit and im just happy the destiny trio is together again. And DiZ showed up again, hes actually ansem the wise, and he talks about computers and hearts and research and xemnas, the organizations leader, is likeI WAS YOUR APPRENTICE! BUT YOU DIDNT LET ME DO ILLEGAL HUMAN EXPERIMENT SON HEARTS SO I KICKED YOU OUT AND RREMOVED MY OWN HEART AND THATS WHY THERES A HEARTLESS AND A NOBODY OF XEHANORT and ansem the wise is like YEAH BITCH and he explodes and riku turns back to normal but he also really needs a haircut. so they go punch xemnas in his zebra coat and riku and sora chill in the realm of darkness for about ten minute son the beach, i guess aqua was hanging out somewhere else, and they get a message form kairi in a bottle and the door to light opens and they go home and it was literally!!!!! a better fucking ending!!!! than kh3!!!!!!!!! thats my tea!!!!!!
so then we have KH3D, dream drop distance, which begins telling us ‘hey when you kill a heartless and a nobody that person is gonna be recompleted so uhhhhh xehanorts coming back Thats Not Good, make sora and riku do their mark of mastery test in the realm of sleep to get the power of waking’ and thats the whole game but its great because flowmotion! dream eaters! TWEWY TWEWY TWEWY T W E W Y!!!!!! playable riku!!! fun worlds!!! soriku!!! except KH3D’s fatal flaw is THEY INTRODUCED TIME TRAVEL INTO THIS FUCKING COMPLEX HELL HOLE I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THEM FOR THAT. anyway rikus been doing a great hecking job!!!! except sora ended up in twtnw and kept chasing the dreams into the deepest pit of slumber and the organization broke his heart so they use him as one of xehanorts vessels [gesutres to my blog with will smith arms] yeeah babey. and riku is understandably like HEY GIVE ME MY FRIEND BACK and xehanort is like FUCK OFF TWINK and mickey and donald and goofy and axel, whos been recompleted as lea, arrive and steal comatose sora back form xehanort and xehanort monologues about the X-Blade split into 20 pieces- 7 of light, 13 of darkness- and so hes gonna make 13 vessels of darkness with his heart inside them and the guardians of light gotta gather 7 lights to clash and bringg about the keyblade war or bring about kingdom hearts, i-- i literally hate this series so much Why do you think i went on a year long hiatus??? i needed to calm the fuck down-- either way xehanort yeets off with his darknesses and soras STILL comatose and rikus like I WILL DIVE INTO HIS SLEEP AND SAVE HIM BECAUSE DEARLY BELOVED IS PLAYING AND if i continue this joke someones bound to get mad at me for ‘’’pushign a soriku agenda’’’ BUT YKNOW WHAT, RIKUS A REAL MVP AND PUNCHES A NIGHTMARE VEN AND SAVES SORA AND SORA HUGS HIM AND ITS GREAT AND I LOVE MY SONS SO MUCH and the kh3d ends with them saying ‘hey look kairis gonna do something!’ but Little Did We Know.
and thats your summary of what the fuck happened in kingdom hearts. i hate this game so much.
#outofxiii#long post#i didnt have to answer this like i did. ive been making a video all day long and im so close to finishing#i could have linked the Good Enough Summary of Kingdom Hearts video and went back to my own project#but no#here i am. i actually went and did this. i hate myself and i hate kingodm hearts#nobody come into my ask like Um Actually [x] Happened because its 2am and i assure you i do not care!!#Anonymous#!questions
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56th-tin-knee
*scraps my oc askblog bc it didn't go anywhere*
mikheevyurij
Без названия
dnp-hateblog
ugh
ciya77-blog
İsimsiz
themadlostgirl
Second Star to the Right
and Straight Down the Rabbit Hole