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gutsfics · 1 year

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Since you write for multiple Choices stories, I'm curious: (how) do they all intertwine? Do your various MCs know each other? How do they get along? How did they meet? If any of your stories don't exist in the same universe, how would the characters get along if they did?

aaaa i love this question!!!! i love figuring out how these stories all fit together even if they don't interact <3

they do all intertwine, but in some places what's 'canon' and what isn't gets a little muddy. like for example, for me both RCD and HWU are equally canon, but its impossible for them to both exist in the same timeline, but that doesn't mean that there isn't connections that happen in both versions. Simon is Hunt's nephew in both RCD and HWU, but how he met Avalon is different because how Hunt met Avalon is different. and that's not even touching on all of the different versions for It Lives I have, and how those different endings would change how It Lives connects to all of the other stories. plus also: all of my sillies fun aus (which i will not talk about here at risk of this post going wayyy too long)

this might get a little messy, my mind is bouncing all over the place. under a read more bc i Will talk way too much about this <3

Simon

anyway since i mentioned Simon by name I'm gonna start with him. im ignoring choices HSS for him & his friends, bc i don't like that it kind of retcons some of HSS prime + makes all of the original friend group just People Who Go To School Together And Barely Interact.

obviously, he is Thomas' nephew, his dad is Thomas' older brother. they're very close, Thomas is his favorite uncle & he's very supportive with Simon figuring out his gender stuff. in fact, he's the person who buys Simon his first suit and the person who helps Simon find a good surgeon for his top surgery, as Thomas himself had issues with his own and didn't want Simon to experience the same things he did (more on this later)

in the HWU world, Simon meets Avalon over his spring break, which he used to sit in on a few classes of Thomas' classes. they know who each other are in really simple terms, just "there's that tall guy from that one class Thomas teaches, he sure is a nice dude :)" "oh, there's that high schooler who's sitting in on classes that Ethan wants to be the agent of. i hope he doesn't feel too pressured to make a decision right now, he's still got plenty of time to figure things out". they do eventually form a stronger relationship but that's only after Thomas and Avalon end up together officially- Simon thinks Avalon is really cool, and Avalon likes that his daughters have a cousin they can look up to (Simon LOVES babysitting/hanging out with Dawn and Lily btw theyre defo The World's Most Chaotic Cousins)

in RCD world, Simon was very small when Avalon and Thomas were together the first time and he knew Avalon just as Thomas' Cool Fun Roommate. he was absolutely DEVASTATED when Avalon "moved away" (read: they broke up) bc he thought Avalon was just SO COOL. but alas, since he was so small at the time he doesn't really remember Avalon all that well. But he is excited when Avalon reenters Thomas' life, and even more excited to find out that they're getting married (he'd be about early/mid 20s by this point). he may not remember Avalon too clearly, but he remembers how much he loved it when Uncle Thomas and his Best Friend Avalon came to visit

in both worlds: one Dr Bryce Lahela does Simon's top surgery (i'd say he gets it maybe mid/late 20s). he specifically chose an Edenbrook doctor bc Thomas knows Dr Banerji and he asked if there were any surgeons that Dr Banerji would trust to do the surgery properly, and he recommended Bryce :) more on how Thomas knows Naveen later

Baxter & Reigan

theyre getting a whole section to just them bc theyre BoyBestFriends and there's a lot about em (but ill try to keep it short)

Baxter and Reigan met in high school, after Baxter was deemed healthy enough to actually attend school instead of just being homeschooled in a hospital room (it was absolutely 100% Baxter's idea and want to do this, their parents wanted to keep them in the hospital 24/7 bc they were worried they'd immediately get sick)

at the time Baxter had been super standoffish and did not like being around people, so Reigan was the one to approach Baxter first. he was fairly well liked and respected by their classmates & he wanted to make sure that they didn't have an awful experience in school. eventually Baxter ended up asking Reigan out, not because they were particularly attracted to him (they were a bit of a late bloomer in that regard) but because they wanted to have all of those Normal Teenage Experiences(tm) and they did like spending time with him. and he said yes, bc even though he didn't feel any attraction either (he's ace/aro), he did like spending time with them as well (and to some degree was hoping that attraction might happen eventually)

dating for them just looked like how hanging out did, although they did hold hands a bit more and kiss at some point, when Baxter decided that they were at The Point In A Relationship Where You Kiss. they also went to prom together.

they broke up shortly after graduating high school, half bc Baxter achieved all those Normal Teenage Experiences(tm) they wanted to and half bc Reigan felt bad that he felt no attraction to Baxter, although he didn't mention it at the time bc he didn't want to hurt Baxter's feelings. there was a bit of a pause in their friendship after this, as both of them felt that they had to give the other some space to get over the romantic part of the relationship, but in the end they realized that neither cared? and went right back to being close good best friends :)

their friendship ended up being long distance for a while, as both college and career choices got in the way of being physically near each other. but. the week that Reigan got the job offer for McGraw Byrne was the week that Raf broke up with Baxter AND Ethan left for the Amazon, and the idea of being just a three hour train ride from his best friend defo played a role in him deciding to take the job. he actually flew to Boston instead of NYC so he could spend a little time with Baxter before he got too busy with his job. Baxter, Aurora, and Bryce actually spent one of their days off helping Reigan's dad furnish Reigan's Cool New NYC Apartment :)

speaking of Reigan's dad. Baxter is actually WAY closer w Reigan's parents than they are w their own. in fact, when Baxter went NC with their parents, Reigan's parent's were like "cool WE'RE your parents now :) we love you kiddo"

anyway. the attack in OH year two happened to line up w the end of LOA book one/beginning of book two (at least it does in my timeline) & Reigan immediately dropped everything to head to Boston to make sure Baxter was okay. while he was there, Martin kept trying to give Reigan really petty cases that were a waste of time, even though Reigan had taken time off and given a reason for it. he ended up chewing Martin out over the phone and quitting, deciding that he'd just look for a job in Boston to be closer to Baxter anyway. he stays in Boston for a bit to help take care of Baxter after they're discharged from the hospital, and when he gets back to New York he learns that Aislinn and Gabe also quit & have started their own law firm, which Reigan has been given a job offer for. he takes it only after Baxter assures him that they will be fine if he stays in NYC

Baxter is the reason that Reigan and Tobias meet (but not the reason that they end up in a qpr together) and they're also the Best Man Of Honor at both the weddings they end up having (Reigan and Tobias marry twice-- once in a Boston courthouse bc they decide that the legal benefits of being married work with what they want from the relationship w each other (Baxter's role here was just a witness), and a second time a more traditional wedding (more of an exchange of vows than a legal process this time) a year or two later to appease the parents)

and this does Not have to do with Baxter and Reigan's friendship but it doesn't really warrant it's own section: Reigan and my Bachelorette Party MC, Hallie, are friends from law school :) and speaking of Hallie, she's the twin sister of one of my Lovelink MCs, Harvy, although Harvy and Hallie were separated at birth bc their bio mom didn't know she was having twins until giving birth & she was unprepared to raise both so Hallie was put up for adoption & raised in the US (Harvy was raised in Vancouver, Canada). it takes em a while to find out about each other (Hallie knew she was adopted but didn't know she was a twin (her adoptive parents didn't know either) and Harvy just straight up Didn't Know he was a twin as his mom didn't tell him). also Harvy technically is just A Character I Have Now bc i really don't care for Lovelink anymore

It Lives

ok so here's where it gets messy. also i might kind of be vague here sorry

the It Lives series has a bunch of different ways to end (zero thanks to pb, this is 100% itlivesproject's win [blows a kiss for the itlivesproject crew <3]), all of which i really like.

so tbh for my world. each and every one of the endings is both canon and non canon, depending on which one i feel like writing for. bc sometimes i wanna write some cute soft fluff where Noah and Devi get to overcome their trauma. and sometimes i want Noah to fucking wallow in his pathetic meowmeow sopping wet sadboy misery where [SPOILERS] bc [SPOILERS] and [SPOILERS] (seriously pls go read the it lives trilogy theyre so good, especially It Lives Within)

however. It Lives IS canon in my worlds. i like the idea of a very mundane world having some kind of exciting magic to it, even if its mostly unknown. just. a magic that touches everyone's lives in little ways and connects us all together :) and that's EXACTLY what the Power is

anyway the ending where the It Lives characters get to interact with characters from other stories is the one where Noah and Devi get to overcome their trauma, and they open up a restaurant together <3 basically i think at some point All of my characters will end up having a meal at Baby Jane's. not all together, but they'll make their way there eventually :)

also there's my au where It Lives is a tv show which I KNOW i said i wouldn't talk about aus BUT i just want yall to know that the actor who plays Devi (i don't have a name for him yet, bc hes not technically Devi) sees Avalon as a mentor figure :)

Thomas & Naveen

(tw for medical malpractice and transphobia)

hey so remember when i said i'd talk about Thomas' top surgery later? and that i'd also talk about how he knows Naveen? well.

my Thomas took a gap year between his senior year of high school and his freshman year of college to medically and legally transition. he was moving to a new place and he wanted to be as stealth as he could be. so as soon as he turned 18, he got his name legally changed and started on testosterone, and got his top surgery scheduled. his plan was that by the time he started college, he would have recovered from his surgery and he'd have been on T for long enough that he'd be going through most of the changes he'd want from it

he specifically found a surgeon in the same town his older brother (Simon's dad, his name is Jonathan) had moved to so he'd have some company/a caretaker while he recovered. unfortunately for him, that surgeon... kind of sucked. his surgery was done wrong, and wasn't healing properly, even though both Thomas and Jon were making sure they were doing everything right. but when they tried to talk to the surgeon, the surgeon would just say "nope everything's fine nothing is wrong you are delusional :) its SUPPOSED to be all rotten and nasty :) stop bothering me" and no one else in the clinic seemed to care at all?

anyway one day Jon just had Enough, bc he'd heard from other people who'd had this surgery how recovery typically looked, and his brother was just wasting away, too weak to do anything bc of how his surgery got fucked up and he kind of just. snapped. and started yelling at the surgeon to Please Fucking Do Something.

while the surgeon didn't do anything, Jon's yelling attracted the attention of a different doctor, one who had only heard bits and pieces about this patient who's brother kept stopping by to ask over and over again if a surgery was healing properly, one who'd heard said surgeon being kind of a dick about it in the breakroom, and he decided that someone needed to do something to help these brothers

that doctor being a young Dr Naveen Banerji, pre diagnostics team and pre Edenbrook employment

he caught Jon just outside after Jon had been..... "politely" escorted out and asked what, specifically seemed to be wrong with his brother's recovery

immediately recognizing the problem caused the surgeon's incompetence/prejudices effecting the health and safety of a patient, Naveen helped Jon find a hospital to take Thomas to, one that would actually help him with what was wrong and set him onto a proper path for recovery

he also quit his job at that hospital. he'd noticed things similar to that happening before, but this was just the final straw. he helped as many patients as he could there, but at some point you have to know when to walk away. but that was a good thing for his career, as he was able to start the diagnostics team at Edenbrook, not to mention that other hospital ended up getting shut down for medical malpractice

Thomas and Naveen stayed in touch, and now whenever Thomas ends up in Boston for whatever reason, he'll stop by for a visit :)

#Red Carpet Diaries #Open Heart #High School Story #Laws of Attraction #i didnt mention some mc's relationships w each other bc i dont know how some of them would interact w each other tbh #i cant really think of any situation where they would meet and its kind of hard to think of their dynamics bc of that #i mean. Avalon would try super hard to get Baxter to like him. bc he thinks that Baxter doesnt bc of how deadpan they are #but actually Baxter quite enjoys his company :) they're just not good at expressing it #and their Not Good At Expressing It is very different from Thomas' Not Good At Expressing It #so Avalon doesn't know how to recognize it #but also. i dont know how or why they'd meet.#& as for Devi i think for the most part everyone else would just kind of think of him as that cool goth waiter from Baby Jane's #he & Simon would be chaotic best friends though. along w Harper. three stooges right there

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j4mboree · 2 years

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ik i said something already but im going to spill the beans on the hatzgang and random hcs i had about them. teehee

here lies some funny little hcs...

i like to think of ross as being a rich kid mostly because it would be cool and it would be cool and i think itd be funny

roy is susie and pump's cousin and thinks theyre both weird and annoying they also reciprocate the same feelings

robert is a scene kid

robert makes kandi bracelets

robert listens to h3artcrush

h3artcrush somehow exists in spooky month🙀

ross once cosplayed as scourge from warrior cats on roy's behalf

ross's mom is june mostly because i noticed how she has a similiar mouth to his and i feel like that was a very specific choice of pelo to intergrade in a character we havent seen before

roy likes beyblades he likes beyblades a lot he has a box of beyblades in his room that he keeps for safekeeping

roy pesters his dad a lot

roy's dad is rick they look the same

robert is a mlp enjoyer

robert has a bike that also has a wagon so sometimes roy and ross will sit in the wagon and be pulled around by the bike and sometimes theyll all roll around the neighborhood trying to look cool when we can all agree theyd look like lame asses who just got out of school but the bus didnt come so they had to improvise (theyd all be wearing mlg sunglasses while ross holds a boombox playing "they see me rolling")

ross has a collection of pocket knives and lighters that he shoplifted and or bought

ross has puffy spiky hair that has dyed blue bangs what a chad

at family meet and greets all roy and his cousins will do is fight and pester eachother or on occasion rewatch beauty and the beast

ross was one of the kids who suggested that my teacher put on the alvin and the chipmunks movie /j

robert hangs out with his little sister a lot and is buddy buddy with her they watch littlest pet shop together

ross reads junji ito and his favorite story was long dream

the only book series roy was willing to read through was warrior cats he only got up to the new prophecy and dipped once he got bored with it

the gang agreed upon the name hatzgang because they couldnt think of anything else that was cool enough, they were originally going to be the cap kids but ross suggested the hatzgang instead and they kept that name ever since

they steal candy from kevin all the damn time and are going to be punished accordingly by their parental gaurdians once they find out

they run the neighborhood they live in and will sometimes bully kids older than them but usually when this occurs ross and robert chicken out and roy has to back down because his friends have common sense so they usally come for the littler kids

their entire school hates them but thats okay because weve got the magic of friendship up in this bitch😍

roy is 14 and ross and robert are 15

roy is kinda insecure about his weight and tries to hide this with his bold attitude

they all met when they were in the 4th grade roy and robert became friends due to the fact they both liked beyblades and later befriended ross who moved there later on mostly because ross was a loner and robert wanted to be nice

robert is scared of the dark and sometimes roy teases him about it

roy doesnt really have a mom and just lives with his dad and will sometimes stay at susie and pump's house or the bitchass uncle's before he said adios and died

ross just lives with his mom and his step brother is kevin who lives in his own house ✋🏾

robert lives with his older brother radford and his little sister who i havent thought about im sorry and radford kinda just takes care of them

thats it 😊*turns off light crawls into bed and falls asleep*

#the hatzgang #hatzgang #sr pelo spooky month #spooky month #spooky month headcanons #i had to get this off my chest my brain was exploding with all the ideas i had #i have even more

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youranxiousnerd · 3 years

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The Transformation Thoughts

bc hsmtmts said gay rights

spoilers below

yesss seb doing the recap

wait did seb just say he was crying?!?! give him a hug

cow baby!!!

wow miss jenn and seb having a civil conversation

Natalie is back!!

ej and ricky with the mask

kourtney’s outfit!!!

ashlyn’s outfit...

ahh so the awards and the show are separate, good, that’s how it works

RICKY’S SHIRT!?!?!?!

i love it

ricky is lgbt do not try to convince me otherwise

ASHLYN IS SINGING IT IS BEAUTIFUL

like pop off

ricky and the mask

that mask is the true villain in season 2

“Belle, I-” flops

Ashlyn is carrying the scene, she is such a good Belle

how is ricky allowed on stage oh my god

the cap

that damn mask

“It’s okay, it was just my face”

Miss Jenn is hanging on by a thread

finally some ashlyn and ricky content

“Which they will” buddy have you faced the music? Have you seen Ricky?

“I think I might have been playing Troy at one point”

Miss Jenn needs help from someone who isn’t a teenager

“Mother is freaking out” High school theater at it’s finest

“There is math involved”

“OH”

sassy seb

i can’t with east high’s tech crew, what are you doing?!?!

and why are the actors figuring out the tech stuff?!? i’m sure kourt, big red, ashlyn (she knows all), and seb (he lives on a farm) know what to do.

the crew cannot be that bad

btw here are my thoughts on this scene

guys it is ashlyn’s house not yours

portwell shoulder bump

ASHLYN I LOVE YOU

OH SO NOW YOU HAVE DRILLS

WHERE WERE THEY WHEN THE TECHIES STARTED USING GLUE ON PLYWOOD!?!?!?!

I WANT ANSWERS

i. cannot. with. this. show.

lily wtf

“is this too weird” yes

like why?

lily like actually shut up

big red’s “wtf”

let her be evil damnit

“i’m just not well liked here” i wonder why

that was really weird, anyways

“he gets weird around tools”

me too

no give big red the drill he knows how to use it

someone write a fic about the girls and seb’s chaotic target run

why don’t you have a blackout and dramatic music and lights for the transformation, i know it isn’t award level but if done right it can be pretty dope

“I don’t know if my parents will be okay with me being at a co-ed sleepover”

“Chip, this is your mother speaking, go call your mother”

HE DID THE FINGER GUNS

GAY TABLE SIT AND FINGER GUNS THEY DID THEIR RESEARCH

ashlyn’s bucket

CARLOS GAY TABLE SIT

OH MY GOD

they’re so gay soulmates

let big red have his skateboards

“i need to talk to seb at some point but it can wait” honey no it can’t wait seb is on the verge of a breakdown

wait they havent talked in a week

Im a hypocrite ive been dancing around someone for three years

“You’re still at school”

“I’m worried about my children” “She means us”

such a high school theater thing (like i got married during high school theater, we had a family tree)

“ah, Sebby”

“Now I’m pretty sad” give him a hug

the girls ship seblos

“But, I guess he has to be, out of default, right... there’s not a lot of choices for a boy like Carlos, here, at East.”

alright here come the tears

why...why couldn’t he say “gay” or “queer” or “lgbt”?!?!

“Not so good at saying the feelings part out loud”

shiz that hit close to home.

Seb is just making me cry today, isn’t he?

wait so we’re just going to change the subject? coming from a queer person, opening up about your problems about your sexuality is hard. like, there are things that happened years ago im just telling people.

“You’re my sister, he’s my cousin”

it seems everyone except nina knows about the chocolates. imagine gossip time when gina told people write a fic

Nini just stop talking. It wasn’t a big deal, simple mistake. Not everything has to be big and dramatic

and wasn’t she just asking about Gina and Ej?

Nini for the love of god it is not something to read into.

“The farmer type”

Ash and Red exchanging gossip

wait... why are they texting about this?

“Why wouldn’t he say something to me?” It’s a hard conversation to have. “hey are we together just because i’m your only option?”

“Okay, pretty boy” HE CALLED HIM PRETTY BOY

RICKY!!!!!!!!!!

!!!

carlos and gina chaotic siblings

give ej a hug

“Sweet boy”

im so glad the guys are talking about their feelings.

Why a sleepover? It’s more of a hangout.

“Verging on failure”

jennzara therapy

slowwww burn

you go from hand holding to fist bump

disney please release an acoustic version of “let you go”

so it’s just carlos and ricky chillin’ at big red’s house?

do not play let you go for nini

do. not.

“You guys are a hallmark movie”

for once ricky is being smart

“the look on your face when you were talking about Seb tonight” smiles

he is so whipped

“I think you and Seb have something worth fighting for...bro”

that was so sweet and then there is bro

i love this show

“Sorry, I’m adjusting to being called bro”

him and seb being awkward about feelings... that is a high school relationship

i love ricky in this scene

“Yeah, let’s just write”

ASHLYN CALLED BIG RED BABE AWWWWW

nina shut the actual hell up

“It’s in the costume shop, somewhere” mood

“Thank you, 15″ THEY SAID THE THING

GAHHHH

I LOVE IT

howie and kourtney oh my god what is happening

“and begging”

“hi” he’s so nervous oh my lord.

he is so awkward around seb

it’s like a switch

“Do you want to get risotto with me sometime” OH MY GOD THATS ADORABLE

GINA BABY HE LIKES YOU

GINA HONEY!!!

AWWW THAT WAS ADORABLE

PORTWELL YESSSS

gina’s little run

“Am I in trouble?”

they’re so nervous

oh my god its time

“You keep it all bottled up” GUYS I CANT ARGGGG

can ricky just like, go behind a curtain?

“lookin’ for our kind of love” carlos basically just said “i love you”

seb is so whipped like look at him?

they’re so in love

seb’s little eye role at “in a heartbeat, i choose you”

the hands omfg

oh my god they’re going to dance

SHIZ THE HOMECOMING SUITS

I WAS RIGHT

OH MY GOD

SHIT GUYS IM DYING

gah the hands i cant

carlos is leading i love it

the tie

a tie just killed me

im combusting

You’re honor, they’re in love

i really thought carlos was going in for a kiss he is probably getting one later

i like how the dance isn’t big, it’s small and a little awkward bc right then it’s just them.

THEYRE SO IN LOVE HOLY SHIT

damnit big red

big red is legally required to interrupt almost kiss moments especially if it’s an lgbt kiss bc we cant have two in one season

in a heartbeat is so cute. Frankie showed UP this season with the vocals. there is no way that was all acting bc they looked so in love.

I...I love it

the lyrics are perfect

In a Heartbeat and Let You Go are probably the best OG songs of the season

“Siri, add In a Heartbeat to my gay sob playlist”

these boys are just serenading each other left and right

“Yeah”

so it’s just “yeah”!?!? That’s it!?!?! Seb could have least kissed him on the cheek or did they use all their kisses?

I love the song and love the scene, but there is so much more to discuss. Are we going to brush over the fact that Seb literally had an allergic reaction and didn’t get help because he didn’t want to disappoint Carlos!?!? Are we going to brush over “no, seb” and seb feeling like he has to get carlos big things!?! One “yeah” doesn’t erase all that. I’m hoping we get closure, proper closure, not a joke.

In conclusion, only one thing was settled (Carlos loves Seb for Seb, not because he is the only out guy in school).

“Seb and Carlos suffer their first fight” effing liars

BTW it looks like they filmed the dance scene with the homecoming suits and normal outfits so disney release the footage

Ricky is the biggest Seblos shipper

“Bro”

you morons. are you using rigging without an adult there?!?!

im pretty sure that isn’t allowed. only trained people were allowed to use the rigging. it should be Natalie since she did it in HSM

you should have gotten mats are something or stand in a circle

gahhh

RICKY

OH MY FRICKING GOD

NO ONE RAN THEY JUST WATCHED WTF

WTF WAS THAT ENDING

UMMMMM NO

i legit have no words oh my god

they just killed the lead

you guys saw the rope you should have ran

you should have gotten mats or blankets or something just in case

rigging is difficult, set rigging and people rigging

EAST HIGH WTF

Looks like the sleepover is going to be in the ER

My gay heart is full but my theater heart is screaming. The episode went by really fast. I liked it, like a lot.

To answer the question, no, I am not okay @organic-guacamole and we will have a theater kid sleepover

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bowlegsandgrace · 3 years

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rant

I am much more aware (although still pretty dense at times) when it comes to knowing what people think of me. Made amends with m cousin a little mover a month ago. We had a falling out 2 yrs ago and havent spoken since (although she tried to reach out about a year ago but I wasnt having it). And in her eagerness to make amends she’s been inviting me over a lot. Like a LOT. To the point she gave me her spare key (without me asking or in any way implying that I wanted a key). And I know how over zealous I get in friendships. Thinking its deeper than the other person thinks.

Told a friend Id known all through out highschool I wanted to come visit her one weekend (a classmate/quasi friend in college was going up that way and knew I had friends in the area and offered me a ride) and she was fine with it until a day before when she realized I expected to sleep in her dorm room. She snapped at me and said I couldnt just invite myself over to stay in her dorm room which...fair point. I shouldnt have ASSumed. Even though we seemed to have a fun time the last time she invited me to her school to hang out and spend the night. I just misunderstood our friendship which dies out pretty soon after.

Even though Ive gotten better (I think) at this I still mess up. At this point I dont even have any friends. No meaningful relationships outside of family and those just feel like theyre being nice to me out of obligation. The only people who REALLY like me are a bunch of toddlers. But its alright. Most of the time it doesnt bother me. I just have to keep reminding myself that just bc people are nice to me doesnt mean they want to be friends. And I usually work enough so i dont have time to hang out or do anything anyways so its whatever.

What gets me are people who push the relationship. And I think we could actually be friends. But then they get tired of it and realize they dont actually like spending time with me but instead of being honest with me theyll just make up lies. And I wish I could go back tot he days where I was oblivious to their intentions and just believed the lies. Now I can tell and it kills me everytime it happens.

Back to my cousin. I think she’s reached that point where she’s grown tired of me. Even though i had a key I made sure never to go over unannounced. And I thought I was doing ok and we were having fun. But something just seemed off when we were hanging with her friends yesterday. She invited me but i dont think I was really wanted there. Today I managed to snag a freezer for her for a really good price and deiced to gift it to her for her bday which was a couple of days ago. I know she’s been wanting one bc Ive been helping her look for one. I called her after i picked it up to check of she was home and she seemed really annoyed i wouldnt tell her what it was bc I wanted it to be a surprise. She said she was about to head out to get something to eat so i decided to run some errands and kill some times. About 1.5 hrs later I asked her if she was back yet and she wasnt. So I went home to wait. Its been about 4 hrs now and I know she’s just forgotten about me or is ignoring me. I know she’ll text me in a few hours saying she fell asleep or something bc at that point she knows itll be late enough I wont come over.

And I hate myself so falling for it all over again. I hate that Im just trying to be a good friend and she doesnt like it. Just tell me. Please. People ask why i always do things by myself and this is why. Its less painful. I go to the movies, concerts, dinners, etc by myself bc I can to what I want when I want without anyone criticizing my choices and making fun of me for what I like. I do thing by myself bc I dont expect anything of anyone so they cant disappoint me. My cousin keeps saying she’s going to come over and help me unpack but everytime she claims she’s sick. I had to take a day off of work tomorrow bc she insisted the only way she was going to come over was if it was first thing in the morning after she dropped her kid off at school. Even though Im home by 1:30 most days and her kid doesnt have to be picked up until 6pm the latest. And now she’s ignoring me so she’ll probably make up some excuse not to come over tomorrow meaning Ive taken a day off of work for nothing.

#Ramblings #Rant #whatever

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kiicn-blog · 5 years

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did you hear about the monaco trip? it’s legendary at ucla. KIAN KANG is going, i’m so jealous. their instagram makes it seem like they’re pretty dynamic and they’re all about “do what you do best” & texts left on read. can you believe they’re only twenty-three and they’re going on a free trip to monaco for the summer? hopefully they don’t let their aloof side show too much on the trip. • HAS FIVE SIBLINGS • BROKE UP WITH PARTNER OF THREE YEARS TWO MONTHS AGO

uh henlo, quick intro before i disappear for the evening and write my second paper :( you won't see me till like tuesday :(( afternoon :( after class :(( anyways LMAO i'm aye ! i am twenty three :/ she/her pronouns and in the est timezone ! if u haven't already added me, add me on discord new girl could be the 1 for me#8402 , some of u added me and didnt come say hi so i hOPE after u read this u hit me up :( bc . i rly dont kno who is who tht added me JKFMGDSG dont be shy i do not bite :DDD

okay ima keep this fairly simple, let's start w stats !

full name: kian kang, no middle name, call him kk haha nickname(s): kiki, k, ki, do not call him ian he won't ever talk to you again, respect his vegan white ass name age: 23. date of birth: november 2nd 1995. hometown: new york, new york. ethnicity: korean. gender: cis male. sexuality: bisexual. hair colour: black. eye colour: brown. height: 5'11. tattoos: has a tattoo of a lion on his right index finger and a tiny heart behind his left ear. piercings: ears, three on the right, two on the left.

okay quick background ! im not gna write a lot and keep it brief bc ive been writing for school and my brain is DEAD i dnt have the mindset to go into depth bout anything but if u wnna know anything else just ask

kian comes from a well off background like his mom ? a sugar DADDY ! like his dad married into MONEY !

they live in greenwich village in NYC n tht area is so expensive so u can say he had a nice upbringing, went to the best school

anyways ! quick family talk, his dad rly didn't love his mom , and rly only married for money and security and when kian was born he wanted kian to have all the things and opportunities in life that he didnt so he stayed w his mom

n his dad ? gay as FUCK kept tht hidden for god knows how long

it wasnt till kian was like 15 when he was like o ? father thoust r gay huh

yeah so tht marriage ended LMAO and kian wasnt rly happy that his family broke up

at the wedding when they asked does anyone object ? he stood up and said ME bitch but he was joking but he wasnt joking he was serious , u can say hes .. happy .

he has two siblings, they're still babies, twins, they're like 12 thats baby ok he loves his siblings theyre annoying but loves them ! assuming the other three are gna be from the step sibling plot xoxo i can alter this

ok here's a rundown on kian now

kian , is a very blunt individual like he can be straightforward about a lot of stuff, he doesnt rly sugarcoat his words, it's just how he was raised

sometimes he can come off mean but like it's just.. how he talks and sometimes he doesn't realize what he says is wrong he just says it like this man has never been told to shut up,

he was always favored in school for the way he talked but sometimes tht warranted eyebrows raising left and right but he was still adored for his stupidity and lack of sense

he's an alright kid , can be nice when he wants to be , gentle soul once u rly get past whatever walls he put up

like he doesn't like to show that side as often unless u LOVES u but i feel like he should have air signs in him ..hmm.. will think bout it KFMDG

what am i missing ..

i feel like i missing something,

oh comign from n y of c he's super into looking good, even when he bums it down he looks good, he'll also call u out on ur choices and be like ur wearing tht ? today ? yikes...

if u want an honest opinion he's not afraid to be honest , v brutal xoxo

i think thts it

anyways PLOTS

so. . this is a possible plot ! and im gna base it off the song 'the wall' by anders if u wanna go take a listen teehee anyways, imagine this . it's all lovey dovey for a year and it was going well like over the moon relationship like you almost think these two would have gotten married but then after the year mark, things began to go down the drain? they started to hang out less, fights would break out, sex that would follow the fights but like that's it.. tht was the only intimacy, and sometimes they'd pretend they're okay for a day or two but then have a complete fit over like idk the wrong food order, cheating speculations could have arose and then they really really tried to make it right their third year, trying to go over what went wrong but then they decided to call it quits BUUtt since it's a fresh wound, they could have some slip ups if ukno what i meaaan anyways yeah if u wnna do this xoxo pls be prepared to plot back FKDG

a possible familial relation, like cousin . only cousin really, obv ur chara would have to be korean or half korean but someone who just knows kian inside and out this could be like an angsty familial relationship or a good one

ok another anders based plot ! listen to don't call :)) anyways this one, sometime after his break up he decided to have a few hook ups here and there, meaningless ofc but this specific hook up left a mark on him , maybe by the way they talked to him , he kept coming back for the four second intimacy, it left him confused n dazed , confused bc why am i feelin weird i just had a heartbreak

honestly im just down if anyone just wants to have a simple hook up plot thts cool too no thinking just lmk ! bc he's had a few after his breakup

enemies / ppl who don't get along ? idk kian could have come off COMPLETELY wrong and ur chara could have taken it the wrong way, insults were thrown here and there and they just don't talk with kindness

a sugar baby ! kian got MONEY ! i told u his mom ? a sugar daddy xoxo he doesnt mind spoiling ppl but only one he aint tht generous also u have to build a relationship with him if u want him to spoil u

uh thts it if u have any other plots just lmk xoxo we dont have to just do these

#monaco: intro #monaco:intro #idk which one but . where did everyones intros go why arent they in the tag JFKMDG #omg this is so ugly like i could make it pretty w aesthetic... eh #also . i need to make tags .. idk fi i wanna do tht yet .. probs not im lazy #about

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h3llostrang3r · 5 years

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A Lifetime to Remember

Perfect Match

Pairing: Dames x Mc Summary: One-Shot.Melina Park is searching for Dames. Word Count: 3,800 Warnings: Language,Sexual content implied(I don’t think it’s anything more explicit than what you would find in a Choices 30 diamond scene.) Notes: I miss Dames. I still haven’t forgiven PB. I give them all my monies and they couldn’t give me Dames during the finale.

Do you ever have the feeling that someone is watching you? You know, when you get those urges to look over your shoulder even though no one has called out your name. Did you really see something out of the corner of your eye or was your mind playing tricks? Or when you suddenly look up from whatever you were concentrating on because you could just feel a pair of eyes locked on to you. Like you can just feel the heat from their body and it sends a thrilling chill right through you? I have been feeling this more and more every day for the past few months.

Maybe I’m paranoid. Maybe it’s wishful thinking. But it feels so incredibly real to me.

I’ve spent countless hours online searching for him…

Keegan hasn’t spoken to me since we took down Rowan and Cecile. She won’t give me any information on what happened to him. I’ve reached out to her and those I’ve found connected to her, but nothing. I don’t know why she’s ignoring me, I proved myself to her before - that I’m on her and all the matches side.

No signs of him and no body found. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I can’t think the worst. I refuse. I know he’s stronger than that. I need to know if Keegan or someone was able to fix his programing, he could have lost so much of what he had by now. He has to be out there somewhere …

That’s why I have spent so much of my down time online. Throwing myself out there. My online alias spreading like wildfire, ThePurpleHairPark. I’m in chat rooms, forums, social media outlets - there’s always someone watching,reading,lurking from behind their screen. The world knows about the matches and there are so many out there helping them. So there has to be someone that has seen him. All I need is one person to point me in the right direction. Or he can come find me. I know he knows how to. Or at least his past memories would.

Can anyone help me? Actually help me? The conspiracies, the theories, they’re insightful, but I need something more.

Where are you, Dames?

Please. I need you …

Melina sits back in her chair staring at the screen. She sighs heavily before she deletes the plead and publishes her newest post to her open forum. Her purple hair slightly covers her face as she hangs her head low. Some strand clinging to her cheeks as tears start to roll down her face. After a deep breath she wipes the tears and gets up to refill on her iced tea.

Melina was at the coffee shop close by to her apartment almost every day. Always getting looks from the customers coming in and out of the shop. She was never quite sure what they thought of her and her laptop sitting in her favorite spot by the window. She didn’t really care, she just wanted to make sure that she could be seen. Her goal was to be seen by him, by Dames.

As Melina stood in line, she checked her phone. No missed calls or texts from Damien. He had been so busy with work since they saved the President, she was thrilled that Damien’s business was booming, but it made it harder for them to make time for each other. They didn’t mind their low-key nights in just them, some takeout (Melina’s cooking still not improving, whoops) and a movie while snuggling on the couch. Yet, with Damien’s ever growing case files he would often come home, grab a snack and head straight to bed. Damien was still supportive of Melina spending time with Hayden, but even she seemed to be too busy for Melina lately.

Melina orders her iced tea - which is on the house, her friend Lily is now working at the register. Lily gives her a wink and flashes her a smile as she shoos Melina along. Melina mouths a, “thank you” as goes to wait for her drink.

Melina never minded being alone and single. There was always something to do, always a way to entertain herself or keep busy until she heard from one of her friends. So why was it now, when she had two loves in her life she felt most lonely? Even Nadia found time to be with Steve and his… abs. Luckily, her cousin would always make time for her at least once a week. But ever since they came out from hiding from Eros’ radar , life never went back to being carefree for Melina.

Her heart had been so full from being loved without judgement from two amazing people in her life, but now that love - where did it go? Had she expected too much? Was it unreasonable of her to want to see them more than 2 or 3 times a week? Melina’s mind often drifted to Dames when she was alone. There was still that spot in her heart reserved just for him. Which often ached at the thought of him, not knowing where he was or if he was even okay.

She had to find him. She needed the answer. Even if he didn’t want to see her again or even want to be with her, she just wanted him to be okay.

Her name is called and she grabs her rather large drink and heads back to her spot. She stares at her computer a few moments - and there. That feeling. Her face grows warm, her heart begins to beat a little faster, the hairs on the back of her neck stand at attention. Her eyes look up from under her long eyelashes - slowly scanning the faces in front of her, nothing. She slowly turns her head to the left, no one looking at her. Her back is against a wall so it definitely was not coming from behind. Melina bites her lip as she returns her gaze back to her computer. No, no, that feeling is still there.

She froze - too scared to turn her head again. Move your damn head, Melina. Do it. She ordered herself internally. Did her body know something her mind didn’t? She blinked and a tear began to fall. Exhale, Melina - slowly she let out the breath she was holding. Her body relaxed and she allowed herself to look to her right, out the window she always had to sit by.

There he was across the street, just staring at her with his hands in his pockets and a sad look on his face. That creep, that handsome fucking creep.

“Dames…” she breathlessly says out loud. Her eyes grow wide, she has to hurry or she’ll miss him. RUN she screams in her head, RUN MELINA. She scrambles out of her seat, almost knocking her laptop off the table, but she doesn’t care. Her feet threaten to trip over each other, but she corrects herself. She pushes the coffee shop door open hard and fast, if there was someone about to get hit there was no way she was going to notice. She looks across the street again, he’s not there.

No. Fuck this noise. He’s not getting away without saying a word to me.

Melina’s feet take her to the busy New York street. Her first few steps are in the clear. “Dames” she cries out with every ounce of her heart and soul. “Dames, please.” Her next few steps just miss a car passing by. Her head is spinning, the cars honking in the background seem so far away. The yelling from the other pedestrians not even registering. Her feet stay planted in the street as she frantically looks as to which direction he could have gone.

The honking becomes louder and louder, her ears now pounding. That’s when she looks to her right and coming straight for her is a yellow taxi. Time starts to slow, her breath catches - she can’t move, she wants to scream. Then the feeling, when you can feel the heat of their body against yours. Except this time - it’s real. Her focus goes to him, but is blurred in a flash.

Dames grabs her at incredible speed and throws them both safely to the sidewalk. He envelopes her in his strong arms and shields her from the fall on to the hard concrete. Her legs sting, but that pain is far away from her mind. He holds her for a long time, her face nuzzled in his chest. Her arms tucked between their bodies, her hands gripping for dear life onto his jacket. She inhales his scent, that mix of cologne and rum that reminds her of that blissful night in Paris. In his arms felt so right, she could melt into his touch and not move for hours - but she could live without the dirty sidewalk.

“Dames…” She manages to whisper, “I thought I lost you.” Her body trembles in his arms as the reality hits her. He is here, he is real, he is alive. She lifts her head from it’s safe space. Oh what she would give to kiss along that jaw and to his mouth. To sink into his lips and wrap her arms around him and never let go.

“Melina what the hell were you thinking?” His face so close to hers, his eyes filled with concern. He brings his hand up to her face to brush back her hair and it lingers as he cups her jaw. Did he dare move his face any closer? Threatening to crash his lips against hers and tangle his hands in her hair, bringing her closer to him and never leave her again.

Before she can answer they are being helped up by onlookers. Her gaze doesn’t move from him, she’s not losing him again. She thanks them and brushes them off as she moves closer to him - if he tries to run she thinks she can be quick enough to grab him by the jacket.

“Please, Dames. Just come to my apartment. Y-you don’t have to s-stay. I …” She drops her head for a moment as she lets out a deep sigh. Looking into his eyes - God, is this real? Is he really in front of me? She says, “I just want to know you’re okay. Our last talk to each other, that wasn’t fair - it wasn’t right. That’s not how things were suppo-”

“Melina…” The way he said her name made her heart skip a beat. “I’ll come with you. We can talk, I promise.” She nodded her head, still in disbelief. Instinctively, her hand intertwined with his. “Do you want to grab your laptop?” He asked as he motioned to the coffee shop.

“I’m not crossing that street again, today. I’ll text Lily to hang on to it for me.”

The walk back to Melina’s apartment was silent, apart from the noise from the city, but it didn’t phase either of them. Absentmindedly their thumbs would graze one anothers - fingers still laced together. When they reached her apartment Melina led the way, giving her hips an extra sway for him as they climbed the stairs. She wanted him to watch, and she knew he would. It took her a moment to fetch her keys from her crossbody purse and unlock her door, the adrenaline was kicking in again. This is a part of her life Dames hasn’t experienced first hand. This moment would be intimate one for both of them.

They made their way inside, Dames moved towards her living room, taking it all in. With her eyes closed, Melina slowly closed the door imagining Dames moving closer to her. His hands on either side of the door frame, closing in on her. His chest pressed against her back, his pelvis against her backside, and his lips hovering so close to her ear. She would turn around to face him and that’s when he would press her hard against the door, his lips kissing hers and his hands gripping her hips as hers would tug on his collar.

“This is a really nice place, Melina.” Dames says, snapping Melina out of her thoughts.

“Ya, thanks. Over here is the kitchen… Where I keep the rum. I need a shot, do you want a shot?” Her heart is beating so fast, her hands begin to shake. She makes her way to the cupboards and pulls out two shot glasses and his favorite rum. He sits on a barstool on the other side of her counter, one elbow propped up.

“Melina, are you alright?” His voice is filled with concern as he watches her move quickly.

“Mmhmm. I just, need to calm my nerves. It’s been so long and it’s all happening so fast.” She pours the shots and slides one over to him. He takes his and stares at it for a moment before he returns his attention to her. She raises her glass to him before throwing back the shot. He quietly lets out a sigh, then follows suit. She’s already pouring herself another round and is quick to refill his. The second shot burns her throat, but seems to do its job as it settles her down. She looks into his eyes and she can see the pain in his eyes. The pain he’s been feeling since Paris, since they left him behind in Tokyo to fight Cecile and all those matches. Her breath hitches when he takes her hand into his.

“C’mon, let’s go sit down. Okay?” He says as he leads her from the kitchen to the couch in her living room.

They settle onto the couch, space between them, but their knees slightly brush against the other as they face each other. Her arms are crossed against her body, gently tucked beneath her heaving chest. His hands are placed on his thighs, rubbing back and forth - not sure how he should proceed.

“Dames, where the hell have you been?” Melina breaks the silence, he can hear the hurt in her voice. “I have been endlessly searching for you, hoping and praying that you were alive and until today I’ve had no fucking luck.” The tears start to form in her eyes and her voices begins to shake. “Why now? I know you’ve been in contact with Keegan. Why have you been avoiding me when you know how to get a hold of me? Why? Why?” The tears fall and her cheeks are wet, she can’t wipe them away fast enough. They just won’t stop.

He hates to see her like this, it hurts him to see her cry. He wants to just wrap her in his arms again and bury his face into her hair. He wants to make her pain end, but he’s the one who did this to her - it’s his fault. It’s all his fucking fault. Fuck it, he thinks as he reaches for her and wraps her into a hug. He gently rocks her and she cries even harder. He whispers “I’m sorry” over and over into her ear. It’s not enough, she deserves more than just his words, even if he means it with every ounce of his fabricated heart and soul. “I’m so fucking sorry, Melina.” He says before she pulls back.

She wants him to look her in the eyes when he tells her why. Why he hid from her all this time without one single word, even if those words were “fuck off”, but he didn’t even give her that.

“Melina, I’m so sorry. I was a coward. I was scared to come back to you when I knew my time was coming end. Knowing I only had months to retain all my past memories and feelings. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t bring myself to be near you and lose you all over again.” Melina couldn’t believe what ehe was hearing. He didn’t even attempt to let them try -

“I eventually came into contact with Kaahn. I didn’t know if he could help me, but I couldn’t let Cecile and Rowan win. I couldn’t go down without some sort of fighting chance.” He sighed as he took Melina’s hands into his. They were so much smaller, and they were so soft. He loved how such a simple touch from her brought such warmth to him.

Her eyes grew wide, fucking Kaahn talked to Dames and he didn’t say a word?When Dames took her hands and it relaxed her for a moment, but she was still in shock. Who the hell did Kaahn think he was? “He attempted to fix my programming. Today is the last day before the original’s program was set to erase everything. Unfortunately, Kaahn doesn’t know if his override will work. I’m scheduled to… ‘reset’ if you will, at midnight. It won’t be until I wake up will I know if it worked. ”

Her world was flipping upside down. Her head was spinning, her heart was breaking, what was she supposed to do with this information? She finally had Dames back, but tonight he could be gone all over again. This wasn’t fair , Dames didn’t deserve any of this. He brushed her hair from her face, he wanted to comfort her as best as he could. He had already accepted what might happen to him, but this was all so much for Melina. He didn’t want her to have to endure all this. This wasn’t something she needed to worry about, she didn’t need to fuss over him.

“Stay with me.” Her eyes pleaded, her lips slightly parted in anticipation of his answer. “I know you wanted me to see you today. I know you weren’t expecting me to run like a mad woman into traffic, but …” she licked her lips and Dames let out a soft groan at the sight. “Please, stay. You’re finally here and I don’t think I can let you go.”

“What about Damien?” He questioned, his feelings for Melina meant the world to him, but he could never come between her and the person who he had to thank and curse for all these wonderful feelings.

She shook her head and said, “He’s surprisingly very open to me having intimate feelings for others. I don’t think you would be an exception. And it’s not about Damien right now. It’s about me and you right now, and right now I want to spend what could be last moments in your arms… if you want that too.”

That was all he needed to hear. He slowly closed the space between them, Melina’s sweet scent filling his senses, making his head swim. His lips found hers, they tasted like rum with a hint of peach from her iced tea that she had been drinking earlier. Her moan sent a tingle through his body. He needed more of her, but he was worried of what would come in the morning. Dames broke away from the kiss and asked, “Melina, are you okay with keeping it light? I want to be with you so badly, but it’s not fair to you if I won’t have any memories in the morning. I …” Dames hung his head low, scared to meet his gaze with hers. Her warm hands cupped his face and she lifted his chin until he finally looked her in the eyes.

“I am perfectly fine with being held in your arms all night long, but don’t stop kissing me.” Dames stood up and brought Melina to her feet and embraced her in a hug. He lifted her up and she hooked her legs around his waist holding on to him like she would never let go, burying her face in his neck. He led them to the bedroom where they laid in bed all night intertwined. Both Melina and Dames fighting the urge to fall asleep. Their eyelids heavy, but their lips still finding each other. Both whispering each others names on their skin, and their lips. They both succumbed to sleep, the mental exhaustion too much for them to bear any longer.

When Melina wakes up she’s not sure what time it is. She can feel the warmth of the sun peeking through her curtains. Her face is still buried in Dames chest, her new favorite place to rest her head. She’s afraid to move, not knowing what will happen if she wakes him up. Will it be him? Will he remember her and the enchanting night they just had. Just him and her wrapped in each other, never letting go. She wants to cry, the anticipation driving her mad, she didn’t want this to end. She didn’t want to lose Dames again.

Moments passed and finally, he began to stir. She held her breath, this was it, the moment of truth. What would she even say if he didn’t recognize her - she guessed she could call Kaahn or Keegan and they would know what to do. Fuck. Why did it have to be this way? Why did this even have to be a thought?

She felt pressure on the top of her head. Was that? Was that a kiss? Another, and another on her temple. She couldn’t move, does he remember?

“Melina.” He whispers in her vibrant purple locks. She looks up, and he’s smiling the brightest smile she’s ever seen. He’s beautiful, he’s perfect, he’s ….

“I remember. Everything.” He can’t stop smiling, his head clear of the fog that was his limited programing. Lifetime upon lifetime worth of memory just waiting to be stored. Kaahn did it.

“Stay with me.” Her voice gentle, she didn’t ask, she wanted him to know she wanted him.

“As long as you want me, I will always be here for you, Melina.” His lips found hers over and over again. They trailed along her jaw and down her neck. She moaned his name and begged for more. Piece by piece their clothes made their way to her bedroom floor. His groans grew louder the lower his kisses wandered. Her skin was soft, she was so beautiful and her taste was like ecstasy on his tongue. Melina’s moans drove him to please her harder and harder until she was trembling against his mouth.

“I want all of you, Dames. Please. I need you..” She begged between her panting breaths.

Dames kissed Melina ever so gently as he made his way between her legs. Their moans mingling as they moved against one another. Melina savored the pressure of Dames’ muscular body on top of her’s. She held him close, not wanting to let go. He was finally back in her life and to stay this time.

Dames is here, he is real, Dames is alive.

#perfect match #dames x mc #playchoices #30 diamond scene #long post #h3llostrang3r writes

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ofphcenixes · 5 years

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BLUE & LIBBY - text thread 001

texts from 3:55pm to 7:01pm

blue

hey lib. (: havent talked today. just wanted to drop in and see if u were doin alright i have memes if u need them

libby

i mean, technically we did talk. i reminded you of the moment the world stood still: when valentine and you made contact (1) time. are you okay though? you seem a little, weird

blue

i maintain that valentine was an alien in a spider suit that wanted to destroy me but u know what I mean djdjdjd just chats between us. the gc has been a june holden fest lately lmao hope it works out for them tho anyways i am always weird in ur eyes djdjhd. but im fine. shit was crazy that night and we never really got to talk about what happenedand if u wanted to talk i just want u to kno im here ABOUT NADIA bc yeah kdjdjjd

libby

don't talk to me or my son ever again yeah, wow, okay so holden stayed over the night. i only know that because i saw his stuff in her room? i think she mentioned that like, it was a one time thing but i feel like... he might be coming over again which.. is Interesting oh. yeah, no i think i'm okay. i guess just in shock. june is very broken up over it, so i'm doing my best to be a good pal, and bring loads of ice cream and kisses. /: do you wanna talk? about nadia? i know that she like, meant something to you

blue

ok good luck getting me to stop talkin to u but as for valentine? bye Felecia! is that right. hmm well he doesn’t seem like much is goin on so maybe they were just,, hanging out. bringing a bag over is pretty damning tho. and if he does come over and u see him tell that bih he owes me $ bc he ate my fucking chorizo salad ): r u proud lib?? I ate a salad by choice well I would have if Holden wasn’t a lil birch bitch DONT CENSOR ME fuck. im sorry. ): i actually wanted to see june today tbh. but if u need anyone pls let me know alright? id skip practice if u needed me, lib WELL. i mean ok i was sorta close with her in middle school and she’s always been a friend and I just. I’m just fucking numb tbh. I really can’t believe it

libby

i'll have you know that valentine died shortly after my 18th birthday so ): idk idk, why would they hang out in her room if they were "hanging out"? like they have history. i feel like thats, a little too ... suspicious given the context. in a good way though. like i hope it works out theyre both so miserable without each other. oh my god!! look at you go! so proud of you, dude! ( even if you never got to it lmao ) no, no, it's okay. june needs all the support she can get, and i don't wanna impede. i'm really fine, i just sort of need to accept it and i guess reflect on how terrible it is. she was a really sweet person and fuck i really cant believe any of it i guess

blue

fuck what kdjdjdnd I thought valentine just yeeted shit that’s not a good way to put it fuck but. im sorry lib ): ok I take it back Valentine was alright. still scared the fuck out of me tho all i know is that if i loved someone as much as holden loves june, i wouldn’t let you go **THEM fuck Damn phone Typos Djdjhdi can’t believe u make me eat green stuff its truly CRUEL whomst? I only know nadia just didn’t fucking deserve any of this. shit even daisey didn’t. i just want to protect everyone and i don’t know HOW it goes without saying that im happy to be ur uber driver for the indefinite future

libby

no omg, i took good care of my boy. idk what happened, they can live up to like 15 years so i was pretty bummed tbh. i was a bad mom he appreciates your support from the grave though i mean, i guess. but not everyone you love is going to love you back, i think that's where holden's at. not everyone wants to be clung to, and june seems reluctant besides, you know all about that. holden, the love of your life, loves june. how sad it's good for you!!! i'm helping i ... feel so badly for both of them. i can't imagine how their families must be feeling, fuck. i hate this. i'm moving to spain ah, dude you don't have to do all that. you probably are busy with practice, and holden, and work. thank you tho

blue

im sure ur a great mother. ): but still valentine was lucky to have u. and im sure he misses u in his weird spider heaven web of flies and whatever it is spiders like idk ill dm peter parker and find out i mean... guess that’s true. I suppose I dont get to see how june feels most of the time. i just wish they’d talk about it and sort it out at least. they both deserve to be happy holden is the loml that is true aksjjsjd. holden has enough room for both me and june in his heart. so i mean technically i can love someone else too?? but enough about that lmfao you definitely are helping. even coach has noticed dkdjd. making me better without even trying u can’t move without me who’s gonna get me free popcorn ): you’re just as important as practise and holden to me, lib.

libby

god, i miss him. you think the girls would be mad if i bought another one? like, to keep in my room. i know! they're both obviously still in love, you can tell. i can't wait for them to overcome this and get to be together. also, im grateful for the amount of sleep i'm able to get now that... the room next to mine is less loud welp, i hope you find someone who is willing to share you with holden lol oMG, REALLY? IDK WHY THAT MADE ME IRRATIONALLY HAPPY LOL. WE CAN GET SALAD LATER let's go, we'll go to spain and take on a new identity. we can live along the coast and work in a bakery or something. get a puppy don't show holden that text he might cry. but dsjflk thank you, you're very important to me too. kinda my best pal

blue

u would have to ask. but if you did get another what would u call it? thanksgiving? funnily enough valentine is only a few weeks away. a sign?? i mean fuck ive known holden for years and can confirm he is happiest when he’s with june. when she’s not roasting him at least lmfao. and if my MasterPlan works im afraid things will get bad again djdjdj. I can take one for the team and try to get them to come over here tho - u don’t need to deal with that shit i hope i do too tbh. and who would I want it to be u ask? that’s right. danny devito. LETS NOT GET TOO CRAZY IVE ALREADY HAD THREE VEGETABLES THIS WERK AND ITS ONLY TUESDAY. I think it’s popcorn time 8) bold of u to assume i know where Spain is dkdjdjdjdj well he’s gonna catch on soon enough we spend every day together at this point lol

libby

i was gonna name this one patrick, after st patricks day actually lol. yes you know what's also approaching that is more important? your birthday! i know, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure that out. he's v much a relationship kinda dude, actually bc he's also kinda slutty lol. but even june is sad and its just, SO HARD. i hate when people are clearly, happiest together are like, nO IM GOING TO PROLONG THE MISERY. i feel like we're in a rom-com. how do we get them back together? i'll let him know. my v-day gift from me to you oooo, should i get the skittles ready too then? popcorn is kinda of a veggie if you think abt it omg, okay well now you can't come with me. offer rescinded. im going with the hot cop lslsfkjdjkldfs i mean its not like we're doing anything weird, so its okay, right?

blue

ur so cute wtf. although if u did do this i hope u know im calling him patrick star. also how the fuck do u tell if its a female or a male spider theyre so small and gross. fuck it is too lol. i dont have any money so im gonna let ppl down on the party front lmao. ud still come tho, right? how can he be both slutty and relationshippy. like not to be weird bc i know hes ur cousin and all dkfjgg but he doesnt.. have people over anymore. unless hes someone learned not to stomp around the house WHICH I DONT BELIEVE. and ha hA im already on plan 384 to get them back together get on my level lmao. we just gotta force them to spend time together tbh. does that mean i have to give u the hot cop for valentines bc i mean. i would if that's what u wanted but im sure u can do much better than him OH FUCK UR RIGHT OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN A LIE TO CONVERT ME TO VEGGIES HASNT IT r u breaking up with me? well fine, ill take the dog ): it's... it's not weird unless we make it weird. and we haven't. have we?

libby

fdsjfjdsl shhhhh, back at you. Patrick Star will be his full name, i promise you this much. as for gender idfk, i am honestly assuming its pronouns lol. i'd be sued by the LGBT community if they knew. also dude, of course. i'll make you cupcakes. plus i know what i wanna buy you! i can't wait dude what? really?? i thought he was seeing people this whole time, holy shit. dude he's really messed up over this huh? wow, okay, we need to kick this into high gear and have them get back together. tell me your plans. omg, no you clown. i don't even like him that much, he's just pretty. i do like... some personality and he has 0 GOD MY PLAN HAS BEEN FOILED. I CANT BELIEVE IT like i'd ever let you take the dog. she's mine sdfjlkdsfjlk iDK DUDE. I MAY HAVE MADE IT WEIRD BUT WE'RE BAD AT TALKING ABT STUFF, SO WE DONT HAVE TO LOL.

blue

do spiders even have gender i thought they were just the minions of evil lmfao lib u rly dont have to get me anything, really. altho now im curious tbh. but get ready for me to get a lit gift in june >:) ill even wrap it myself which says a lot bc i cant wrap for shit but i want it to be personal lmao not many that im aware of atm. will give u info is this changes. huh we r spies lib. >:) but i dont have any current plans except trying to force them to go in a photo booth together or something when we eventually go to the arcade djsjdh omg how did u know. but idk everyone speaks about him like hes gOD he’s just a dude. eyebrows on fleek tho I will say that IM SO HURT UD USE ME LIKE THIS LIB. ALL THIS TIME WE WERE GETTING CLOSE AND U WERE ONLY HERE FOR THE VEGGIES so u get Spain AND the dog. what do I get, sadness ???? you haven’t made it weird lib, i promise. not to me, anyway. maybe we both wanted the same thing. maybe. oR MAYBE NOT LMFAO but yeah we can talk about whatever lol

libby

don't talk about nate like that omg! i want to, plus its a surprise so no asking what it is. also wow i cant believe you remember my birthday, lol. you dont have to get me anything. you can buy me an ice cream though oh my gOD THAT'S BRILLIANT! aw, what if they take one of those cute kiss pictures in the photobooth like in the movies? i can't wait for them to love each other again, they're so cute. are you jealous that no one is talking about your eyebrows? you have nice eyebrows and nothing to be jealous abt GOD, IM SO SORRY. ROY HIRED ME. HE WAS WORRIED ABT YOUR HEALTH. IM SORRY YOU HAD TO FIND OUT THIS WAY. I THOUGHT YOU NEVER WOULD /: you get the memory of what we were to keep you warm right, cool. noted

blue

why do u talk about the string bean all the time i know u grew up with him but seriously he's like a pale pipe cleaner that i dont need in my life ofc i remeber ur birthday lib. dont u remember ur 10th?? probably the best day of my life lmao. and if u get me something i get u something thats how this works as long as june doesnt say anything mean and holden say anything stupid, its a pretty solid plan tbh. im not jealous HOW DARE ROY PLAY ME LIKE THIS. cant believe u betrayed me lib, after all we've been through ;-; but what if i want something to sell off now that u took the house oh fuck lib i didn't mean it like that. just... pretend i said nothing ok and. yeah talk about something else

libby

hey sorry, i gotta go. talk tomorrow.

blue

oh is everything ok? but alright talk tomorrow then i guess bye lib

libby

night

blue

its 6pm lib but okay night

blue

lib if i did something u dont have to tell me but pls know i didnt mean it, whatever it was. i hope youre okay. but i wont bother u again i promise. just. yeah

libby

it's okay, dude. i'm fine. it's honestly my own fault, it's not you. you're always great. i'm sorry. it's fine

blue

i dont understand what ur talking about but i can tell u dont want to so ill just... leave this. but you're always great too lib. the greatest, in fact. just let me know if ur still coming to the arcade later or not yeah

libby

i guess i'll go. i like pacman.

blue

if u... if u change ur mind i understand. but i really hope u can make it.

#( blue ; converse ! )#( blue & libby ! )#WE LOVE CRYING

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meowingatthesea · 6 years

Note

All the questions!!!

all of them? Oh geeze okay! 1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?nope sorry Charlie2. You talked to an ex today, correct?how do you define ex? cause ive talked to someone I broke up with and then got back together with 3. Have you taken someones virginity?nope4. Is trust a big issue for you?yeah trust is very important and hard to earn for me 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?Saw them last Sunday!6. What are you excited for?uh Deutschlager should be fun hopefully maybe I’m also hella stressed about it though 7. What happened tonight?answered already 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?No? I mean I get concerned for their health but its not disgusting and its their choice 9. Is confidence cute?yes10. What is the last beverage you had?a warm juice box 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?nah I don’t feel like defining my friends by sexual organs rn 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?no way13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?zone out as I scroll on Tumblr as I try and forget the SAT I just took and the evening I spent with extended family 14. What are you going to spend money on next?already answered 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?yup! 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?clothing? Yes. Dramatic personality shift? No. Minor changes? Oh for sure 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?A few of my friends 18. The last time you felt broken?last tuesday night 19. Have you had sex today?nah dude 20. Are you starting to realize anything?that even the most well intentioned teachers suck and I shouldn’t have done the IB program. Also that talking about the holocaust in German class is AWKWARD 21. Are you in a good mood?already answered 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?yeah I don’t know the meaning of fear or stupidity23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?I think?24. What do you want right this second?im in a library and perfectly content to say nothing 25. What would you say if the person you like kissed another girl/boy?a) I’d be surprised theyre not that type of person b) I’d shrug and say “yeah that’s fair I’ve done it enough”26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?yup 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?not at all 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?already answered 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?see that’s the issue with having friends all across the country you’re always missing someone 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?no 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?no. He’s not my favorite and he needs to learn that poking me is not an appropriate greeting but nah he’s chill. 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?we’re dating I sure hope so 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?I don’t drink regular but that’s cause diabetes. I drink diet though 34. Listening to?@allhailthejellybeanmonarch’s spotify playlist 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?already answered 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?probably chilling with their dog at their house? 37. Do you believe in love at first sight?no 38. Who did you last call?my grandparents to see if I could get a ride home from school 39. Who was the last person you danced with?My mom, at my cousin’s bar mitzvah 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?I’m dating them and they’re cute?41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?Valentine’s day my school gives out free cupcakes then42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?already answered 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?okay buddy so my datemate and I met in kindergarten, and I promptly made them hate me from 2nd-8th grade, so yeah you could say that. 44. Do you tan in the nude?No 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?nope 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?not last night 47. Who was the last person to call you?some random ass number that I don’t know and ignored 48. Do you sing in the shower?YES49. Do you dance in the car?already answered 50. Ever used a bow and arrow?a life goal for a solid 6 years was to be Artemis so yes 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?2 weeks ago at my cousin’s bar mitzvah 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?BUDDY HAVE YOU LOOKED AT MY BLOG 53. Is Christmas stressful?any season dedicated to goysiche nonsense is 54. Ever eat a pierogi?yeah they’re okay55. Favorite type of fruit pie?pecan isn’t a fruit but pecan 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?already answered 57. Do you believe in ghosts?depends on the day 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?yup. 59. Take a vitamin daily?yup. 60. Wear slippers?nope. 61. Wear a bath robe?some times. 62. What do you wear to bed?NFTY NW sweats and a leopard print button down 63. First concert?already answered64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?Target 65. Nike or Adidas?Neither 66. Cheetos Or Fritos?Cheetos are the only chips I eat 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?Neither 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?no clue 69. Ever take dance lessons?do forced square dance lessons through the public school system count?70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?already answered71. Can you curl your tongue?yes72. Ever won a spelling bee?no 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?I don’t think so74. What is your favorite book?you can’t make me choose75. Do you study better with or without music?with 76. Regularly burn incense?no 77. Ever been in love?already answered78. Who would you like to see in concert?so many people!!! Mostly Broadway people 79. What was the last concert you saw?N/A 80. Hot tea or cold tea?hot always 81. Tea or coffee?tea always I hate coffee 82. Favorite type of cookie?any cookie I don’t care83. Can you swim well?Well enough to not drown 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?already answered85. Are you patient?not at all 86. DJ or band, at a wedding?band 87. Ever won a contest?not that I recall 88. Ever have plastic surgery?No 89. Which are better black or green olives?BLACK 90. Opinions on sex before marriage?its fine dude 91. Best room for a fireplace?already answered92. Do you want to get marriedAt somepoint in the unseen undefined future

Thanks for the ask anon!!!! @ everyone else in sorry for such a long post

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sege-h · 6 years

Note

all the headcanons for both Storm and Bark

SKREMS OK

☾ - sleep headcanon

Storm: Sleeps curled up. Unless he was exhausted, then he falls asleep all sprawled out. There is no inbetween. When he’s sleeping sprawled out you can assume wherever hes sleeping wasnt his first choice for a bed, and 90% of the time youd be right. It’d be p easy to spot him having a nightmare, since he has physical reactions to them. They happen often.

Bark: Sleeps on his back, most of the time. Though will sometimes sleep on his side if he’s snuggling up to someone. He doesnt rly show signs of nightmares, unless theyre really intense. And even then, it’s little twitches and such that youd have to know him really well to see as out of the ordinary.

In winter he likes snuggling up in blankets, not because he’s cold, but because it’s p much the only time of the year where it feels comfortable.

★ - sad headcanon

Storm: His own robotic arm makes him nervous, on some occasions. He finds it cool and all, but will sometimes get nervous about showing it to people out of fear that they’ll assume that hes working or has worked with Eggman, and cut ties with him before he can explain. It has more to do with abandonment issues than with his arm.

Bark: He was a happy and very friendly child, despite circumstances. Over the years he grew bitter. And has since grown out of that into someone more calm, but still not friendly.

☆ - happy headcanon

Storm: He tends to wag his tail when extremely happy. It’s something he’s picked up from other people.

Bark: Likes having a tum 81

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

Storm: He has some p obvious buttons that can be pushed, and can quickly cross the line from annoyed to angry. He does get violent once he’s angry, be it verbally, or physically, or both.

Bark: Being calm as heck doesnt mean he cant get angry. It can take a bit. If the line gets drawn at just angry, he’ll give an intense glare and possibly growl. If the line gets pushed into enraged, rare as it is, he will hurt someone.

✿ - Not answering this one for obvious reasons.

■ - Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

Storm: His bedroom is messy, if it can even be called a bedroom. He hardly ever sleeps there, preferring to sleep on the couch, or around friends. His bedroom is p much used as some sort of storage space.

The house is tidy, most of the time. Mostly because Exe lives there too. Not to say that Storm doesnt help out with cleaning it, he mostly does it because its a shared living space.

Bark: Tidy bedroom. Everything has it’s place. On occasion, the bed will be messy if he’s felt too lazy to tidy it, or has slept through most of the day. Same goes for the house. He finds cleaning fun.

♡ - romantic headcanon

Storm: Hes aromantic.

Bark: He’s a romantic. EEEYYY. He finds romance movies and books cute, provided they’re well done and not too cheesy. If he falls for someone, he will fall hard. Will be very nervous about it considering his line of work, but if he gets to dating, he’s p romantic. And 98% of it is unintentional.

♥ - family headcanon

Storm: With biological family, he was closest to his dad, and it remains that way. He was p close with his sister, but had a falling out. Things were bad with his mom after his dad passed away. And while he loves his grandfather, he isnt all that close to him. He still hangs out with his nephews, but its nowhere near as tight of a bond as the one he had with his dad.

Bark: His mom and dad moved south, so he could be raised away from the expectations and stereotypes of the north. Granted they came to find the south had its fair share of those, but ultimately found it much nicer than back home. Being away from his grandparents was a bonus too.

He also has an uncle thats still in contact, and an aunt and cousins because i have no control of my life.

☮ - friendship headcanon

Storm: His friendship can be hard to gain. Be it because first impressions often dont go well for him, or because he does actually really want to be friends and finds you cool and gets himself too nervous to do anything about it due to assumptions about what’ll happen if he tries being friends based on bad experiences from the past.

But once he gets there he’s a v loyal and affectionate friend. He isn’t sure how to express his love and care in words, so he opts for actions.

Bark: Avoids having friends, purely because of his job. Though to the very few that have managed to somehow become his friend, he’s loyal. And VERY protective. Mercenary or not, no amount of money will get him to go after his friends.

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

Storm: Likes tinkering with things. Be it his truck, or his robotic arm and it’s various models, or something else entirely.

Bark: Loves reading. Especially on rainy days. His perfect day is not having a job to do while it’s raining, and getting to stay at home, reading by the window.

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

Storm:

Likes: Waffles. Good lord does he love waffles. And music. And snow, even though its cold.

Dislikes: Being underestimated. People refusing to listen to him. People that aren’t friends touching him.

Bark:

Likes: Nature. Swimming. Food.

Dislikes: His job. Really loud thunder. People that threaten him doing so by pointing something sharp at his neck.

▼ - childhood headcanon

Storm: He was a happy and dancey child. He’s still p dancey. Him and dancing are 100% his dad’s and brother’s fault.

Bark: MENTIONED BEFORE BUT. Happy and friendly child, despite circumstances. Though he was nervous about his strength. Liked looking at the stars because it gave him a sense of belonging.

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon

Storm: DUE TO COMPLICATED PLOT THINGS he cant age. He’s like 30-something now, but still looks 20. If anything, he’d just age emotionally, probably. And will improve further on his fighting.

Bark: Surprisingly gets to an old age, if theres no tiny boyfriend around for him to try to start life over >3> Over the years he either saves up enough finally or manages to land a job that sets him up for the rest of his life, so he can retire and finally live a peaceful life off in his cabin in the mountains. Though still keeps an eye out for anyone snooping around. Retiring doesnt mean ur wanted posters retire too.

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

Storm: God no plz dont let him do it, hE’LL KILL US ALL

Ok but Zee IS trying to teach him to cook. Its a v slow process.

Bark: God, he loves cooking. He started out because he wanted to be able to make his own food, and sometimes the ingredients you need for a meal are cheaper than buying a finished meal. He loves doing it. Even in summer, when it doesnt feel good to be around a hot stove. Since Bean got into his life, he’s also discovered he loves sharing food he made with others.

☼ - appearance headcanon

Storm: A messy boy. Messy quills, and messy fur. Not dirty, he likes keeping himself clean, but doesn’t rly bother to brush all that fluff save for the little time it takes to brush it do it doesnt get tangled up.

Bark: I’d say u can just go see a pic of him since hes an official character but 81 There be sinners out there so.

He is fat. Big tum. Chubby cheeks. The opposite of an upside down triangle. R o u n d.

He has long, soft hair, and soft fur. But he doesnt appear to be fat because of the fluff. He just is, like, god. I cannot tell u enough how much of a stronk fat boy he is 81 And how much of a canon thing it is.

-SPRINKLES SALT EVERYWHERE-

ANYWAY on to the part thats a headcanon and not canon, he loves keeping his hair n fur clean and brushed. Hates it when jobs get him dirty with all the fighting and such. Immediately goes to shower or bathe the first chance he gets.

ൠ - random headcanon

Storm: He incorporates dancing into his fighting.

Bark: He purrs when he’s comfortable and happy, because bears do purr its gr8 8I

◉ - Any other question of your choosing

CANT ANSWER THIS ONE bc no questions

#Meme responses #Storm #Bark #long post #ask #rainingautumn

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ffuuuuuuuck · 5 years

Text

september 24, 2019

Today was such a bad day my thoughts kept pulling me in different directions- all of them bad

ended up skipping class today, thought about dropping out of school entirely like a lot

like, i know im capable of it and it’s not even hard, it’s just the looming fear of failing again like i did in my first highschool. I’m falling into the same patterns, it’s getting harder to maintain a positive mentality. it sucks because i was doing so good and then one thing sets me off and im back on my bullshit.

somehow writing it out makes me feel a little better, makes it feel like the thoughts aren’t all just stuck in my head.

my family helped today- my mom sang one direction with me in the car because i think she could tell I was on the verge of crying lol. That’s what she used to do with me in middle school and felt bad about the way i looked- it was cheesy and dorky but nice. she also took me to meet my baby cousin for the first time since she’d been born-5 months old and shes fat as fuck but also cute as fuck

i think i might just go back to spending time with my family again- it was easier than having to deal with friends. I love them, but i don’t feel the same with them anymore. it was different when i was into the same shit- smoking weed, doing drugs, doing nothing but walking around all the time. but now i’ve got school and work and actual responsibilities, and none of them seem to get that. Some of them even get mad because i cant spend as much time with them. I understand being upset, but it just makes me feel worse because i already feel worn thin. Plus, we dont really have anything in common anymore other than weed. Even that i’ve been trying to quit, but that’s all they ever wanna do and my lungs are all burnt out. And frankly, i like the feeling of being sober better than being high now.

I guess that’s the only thing me and Maurice had in common. When we first became friends, i was so happy to have someone like me. Into musicals, into anime, into all these dorky things my other friends weren’t into. but now its nothing but weed or talking about her ex boyfriend, or our friend bianca. I’m really glad her and bianca get along so well- i knew they would, i would always try getting all of us to hangout so they could get to know eachother more. But now it just feels like im on the outside. Whenever im with them they always just go off in their own space, talk about their own things that i can’t contribute because i wasnt there or not in on their inside jokes. I tried for awhile to just get used to it, because i shouldve been just happy that they were happy. But then they started hanging out without me all the time, and yeah, it makes me a little sad but no biggie it’s not like theyre my only friends. it feels like im not allowed to feel anything, like anything negative that i feel is just a sign that im getting bad again. But it hurts, like a lot. Bianca is always going on about stuff she told maurice, how maurice said that and that her and maurice always do this, and how great maurice is. Maurice is always saying how amazing bianca is and how much she loves her, how’re theyre gonna go do this and that. lately they started inviting me to hangout with them, but at this point it just feels more like pity than anything. Even when we’re all together, it’s like im intruding on their space. It just sucks. Like it’s not like i want to break them apart or anything, or for them to include me more. I don’t really want anything to happen, like im happy they get along. I just feel shitty about it. Even today, i found out something new about Bianca and yeah it was cool learning that about her but she threw in “really you didnt know? Maurice knows” and i dont know why but it stung. Probably because i was already feeling shitty today.

Maurice had asked me earlier in the day to hangout with them tomorrow- but it was only because it had come up in the conversation because i had told her about something concerning bianca. and honestly, i felt like i couldnt go on pretending anymore to be ok. so i told her that i didnt mean to sound like a dick but i didnt really like hanging out with the two of them together- but i still liked hanging out with them seperately. which, typing this out now i realize i really went the wrong way about this. It’s different when its just me and maurice and me and bianca, its not much different and nice. but when theyre together i just feel really crummy. i wanted to try to tell her that but she just told me “okay whatever i dont even wanna ask why.” and hasnt talked to me since. my mom said if they cared theyd understand, but im not sure i even went about it the right way, if there is a right way to tell your friends that. I told her what happened and she said that bianca would talk to me about it because my mom said that she definitely cares.

But when i told bianca about it, about maurice being upset with me and what i had said, all she said was how did they exclude me. That we played cards together that one time. That we had gone to go get hair dye that one time. I explained to her that yeah, when we went to go get hair dye it felt better because i was actually apart of their conversation. but the other times i just didnt feel like i belonged there with them. She wasnt upset about it like maurice was, but she seemed... i dunno, annoyed? not annoyed but like it was just me back on my bullshit. like it was all in my head. I think she did say it was all in my head. And after we left school a guy we knew was supposed to come with us, and she said “What, are you gonna feel excluded because Robbys coming?” in a really sarcastic voice. I just put in my headphones after that and actually did my homework. Because im supposed to be the chill one- im supposed to be the emotionless one, the one who doesnt let anything bother them because if i acknowledge that im hurt, then that means i could be getting unhealthy again. But fuck dude it did hurt. I barely tell my friends what I feel, and to be shot down like that, to be treated like i was just acting dumb again really hurt. especially because it wasnt like i was asking for anything to be different, other than me not wanting to hang out anymore. also especially coming from bianca. Out of all the people, i felt like i could count on her the most. I guess i was wrong again. Which sucks because its not like my brain goes to “ok they were a dick that time whatever”. When im not feeling good (aka when im not drugged out), my brain immedietely goes to wow what a dumbass trusting people again.

It didnt help that Quenten came to hangout today. I normally love seeing her, and everytime i see her she vents about her problems and i support her because i know she has a lot on her plate all the time. But today it just made things worse. She vented like usual and i tried to support her the best i could, but when i tried to talk about something that was bothering me she kinda just shut me down. Cut me off, started talking about her problems again. Usually she does that, but today it hurt because i really needed someone to talk to, and i thought we were that person for eachother.

Some shit went down with this Guy one time, and its kind of fucked me up. For awhile i tried my best not to let it get to me, tried staying friends with him and making the best of a situation because everyone told me that it wasnt that big of a deal. Not directly, but through their body language, the way they just change the subject, so i just believed that. Tried letting it go till eventually it built up inside me and blew up and left me feeling ruined. The other night i saw the Guy, and i had been doing so good, had been feeling happy and safe and just better. But he walked past me and it was like all of that just fell apart, i felt terrified again and unsafe and it was that feeling all over again, of not getting a choice, of not getting to have control, of putting my complete trust in someone only for it to be ruined. Anyways, its been leaving me fucked up for the past couple of days, and i just needed someone to talk to that wouldnt brush me aside. Im not sure why i thought that though. Quentin still thought highly of the Guy, still cared about his opinion i guess. its not like they were friends, but still. I shouldve known she wouldve blown me off when i tried talking about that situation.

I might need to see a counselor about it, because theres no one that i can even really talk to about it. I tried with this one girl, and she really helped me. But then it turned into a shit show because she outed the guy when i asked her not to, and one of my ex good friends came to me, and basically said i was making it up. when before we stopped being friends she believed me and understood why i got scared around the Guy. I guess that situation fucked me up too lol. But theres no one i can talk to, no one i can even bounce my thoughts off of. I wish i could talk to my mom about this. Sometimes she’s really good with this shit. But i know telling her about this will just make my life worse. Ill go to being looked at like some broken pitiful thing. Im not. I might be broken but im strong and i dont want to be pitied or someone to get mad in my place. I think some part of her already knows.

I think im done talking for today. Guess spilling my guts is too much too.

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viralhottopics · 7 years

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‘Rugrats’ Characters Ranked By Betchiness

For this weeks TBT, were going to take a look into the lives of the most influential baby friend group of the ’90s. Im talking, of course, about the Rugrats and, most importantly, how betchy or not betchy each Rugrat is. Is it polite to rank toddlers who have not yet learned to speak based on arbitrary social categories? Probs not. Is it fun? Fucking duh.

1. Cynthia

Heres what we know about Cynthia: 1) Shes a really cool dancer, 2) Shes got cool moves (as long as you move her arms and legs), 3) Shes movin out on the floor, 4) Shes ready to break some eggs (make an omelette Cynthia!) How do we know all this? We know it from her workout tape, which I am shocked has not been sampled by Avicii or Kanye or someone yet (dont listen unless you want this song stuck in your head all day).

youtube

Cynthias resting bitch face is on point, and she manages to look great in her belted orange dress despite the fact that she is missing of her hair. Cynthia didnt say or do shit for all 9 seasons of, yet she is still one of the shows most memorable characters, and it is her ability to do no work and remain popular that has earned her the number one slot.

2. Susie Carmichael

Susie Carmichael is cool AF. Did Susie need to appear in every episode? No. Susie had other shit to do. Shell check in every once in awhile to see what the babies are up to, teach them about Kwanzaa and generally let them know whats good, before going back next door to hang with her real friends. Whenever she does come over, the babies flip out because theyre like, obsessed with her (everyone is). Shes also the only person who has absolutely no time for Angelicas bullshit, probably because Susie has better hair, a better outfit, and wears a cool red bangle, which is more than Angelica could ever hope to have. Susie is three, which makes her older and wiser than most of the babies and probably accounts for the sheer lack of fucks she has to give. Did Susie get her ass lost in the woods when Dil was born? Fuck no, she was chilling in Paris getting turnt up with her older sister! Did Susie almost die with the Rugrats in EuroReptarland? No bitch, I just told you shes already been to Paris! Susie Carmichael always comes correct, and thats what earned her the number two spot.

3. Tommy Pickles

Tommy Pickles is the star of the show, which virtually guarantees him betchiness. Tommy also has the whole dressing like a slut thing down and spends all nine seasons of wearing nothing but a crop top and booty shorts. His outfit never stops him from leading his friend group on adventures, and you know once he can talk and operate a phone hed be the person managing the group chat, suggesting what clubs and parties to go to, making sure everyone is getting the free shots they deserve, and seeing you into your Uber at the end of the night. The thing holding Tommy back from the top spot is that hes too fucking nice. Hell let any baby with shit in their diaper come hang with him (cough CHUCKIE cough), and that means his friend group is riddled with duds (HI CHUCKIE). Be a little more discerning about your friend group, Thomas, and maybe well see you up at the top with Cynthia.

4. Angelica Pickles

We cant talk about Cynthia without getting to her BFF and designated Rugrat BSCB, Angelica Pickles. Angelica spent most of torturing the dumb babies (who were really only like a year younger than her) and making them miserable, yet still somehow being invited to all the group hangs, play dates, and brunches. Angelica spends a lot of time telling everyoneincluding the adultshow beautiful she is and is absolutely desperate for attention, probably because her rich AF parents never pay attention to her. Shes your friend who cries and starts shit at the club anytime she feels like shes not the hottest girl there (and she frequently is notthanks Cynthia!) Also girl, lay off the cookies.

5. Charlotte Pickles

Charlotte Pickles is Angelicas mom who is literally always on her phone. Like, always. Even in a time before cellphones could fit in your pocket, Charlotte is always on the phone with her assistant Jonathan (Cheban? We dont know) and ignores basically every member of her family to do so. When phones dont work, Charlotte straight up makes her husbands brother carry a fax machine around so she doesnt miss any important texts. Charlotte alternates between a power suit and workout gear, always accompanied by an Ariana Grande level high ponytail. In , Charlotte displays clear signs of some seriously botched cosmetic surgery, which is what has dropped her down to slot #5. Never try to cut corners on botox, Charlotte! Itll always go wrong. Honestly, Jonathan should have told you that.

6. Grandpa Lou

Grandpa Lou is another character who gives absolutely zero fucks and is down to hang. Much like Corinne, Lou loves naps and often falls asleep halfway through finishing his stories. Despite his old age, Lou is still a fuckboy, and is often seen hitting on women and generally trying to find ways to get laid. If had taken place in 2017, Lou would have definitely had a Tinder and that Tinder definitely would have had a picture of him from 20+ years earlier. Lou is eventually successful in finding a new wife, Lulu, who he moves in with pretty fast after they start hooking up (risky choice, Lou!) Outside of his strangely active love life, Lou also has many frenemies, including his own cousin Miriam; his bowling rival, Billy Strike Maxwell; and some other wrestling guy named Conan McNulty. This proves that when push comes to shove, Lou is just not very popular and kind of an old perv. Sixth place for you, Lou.

7. Phil And Lil Deville

Okay Im sorry, but Phil and Lil are fucking gross. Their diet is a mess, always eating fucking worms and mud and shit. Do you know how many calories are in a ball of worms, kids? Do you? Seriously. There is a episode where Phil and Lil drink straight-up toilet water. What the fuck is that? Is that something babies do? Phil and Lil also have no creativity when it comes to fashion, and instead just dress alike every damn day in greena color that is flattering on exactly 0 people. Their mom is a hardcore feminist, which is cool, but maybe the twins have been empowered to do a little bit too much. Like sure, Lil can do whatever she wants with her life, but maybe eating a giant pile of shit should not be one of those things? Idk. Seventh place.

8. Stu Pickles

Good Lord is Stu Pickles a sad man. Seriously. You have a beautiful house, two healthy babies, a cool Jewish wife who has managed to maintain her pre-baby body, and youre still fucking complaining! Look around, asshole! You have all this shit despite the fact that your dumb ass hasnt invented one successful toy. In fact, you havent even invented one toy that didnt explode and almost kill your entire family. You are literally #blessed but youre too blind to see it! The only thing keeping you from the bottom slot is this meme which, in the current political climate, is legit all of our lives right now:

9. Chuckie Finster

No. Just no. Im sorry, but again, its gonna be a hard pass on Chuckie. Here are all the things Chuckie would have to improve if he ever even wanted to hope to be betchy. 1) His voice, which is terrible. Do you have a cold, Chuckie? Go to the damn doctor. Its the ’90s. Hillary Clinton has passed the State Childrens Health Insurance Plan. You can go to the doctor. Go. 2) Grow. A. Pair. Dude. You know when Chuckie gets older hes gonna be your friend who calls the cops on his own party for getting out of hand. Hes gonna be that guy who side eyes you for doing molly at Coachella, making weird comments under his breath about how you never know whats in that stuff and generally bringing bad vibes despite the fact that Beyonc is literally pregnant and dancing in front of you. 3) The hair is a problem. Comb it. Dye it. Do something. Its a problem. 4) Tie your fucking shoes, dude. 9th place.

10. Chas Finster

There was no character on television from 1991-2004 that was less betchy than Chas Finster. He has all of Chuckies problems, but he is a fucking adult which means he has literally no excuse for being such a narc. Chas seems to be suffering from whatever health problems are affecting his son, and despite being a bureaucrat, apparently has no ability to get his ass to a doctor either. Like many sad old nerds, Chas must travel to a foreign country to find a wife, eventually convincing a way-too-hot-for-him Japanese woman to fly to America and be his Melania. Chas also has a double-Hitler mustache, which is 100% unacceptable, no matter what decade you live in. Sorry, Chas. Last place.

Read more: http://ift.tt/2mavumx

from ‘Rugrats’ Characters Ranked By Betchiness

#‘Rugrats’ Characters Ranked By Betchiness

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kristie-rp · 5 years

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[2018] Michael & Lucas: Origins

When Michael is born, his parents name him Mizushima Miko. He is their second son: his older brother is Mizushima Juuki. Juuki immediately adores Miko; he’s fascinated and spends as much time as he can watching over his little brother. It’s actually a considerable amount of time: he is still too young to go to school, and his parents are too paranoid to trust a sitter – but they are also far too busy to make time to actually look after their children.

Juuki is primarily alive at this point thanks to an aunt that visits at least once a week, a woman who claims to be their mothers sister and who looks absolutely nothing like either of their parents. Tamie, the woman he calls aunt, teaches him everything he can grasp to make baby Miko’s life easier.

It’s enough, in many ways. Miko grows up both easier and harder than Juuki. The youngest boy is not comfortable around his parents, is quiet and watchful whenever possible. He learns young that it is more effective to babble at Juuki after prolonged periods of quiet than it is to cry, because if he cries, one of his parents may come in.

One of Miko’s earliest memories – certainly the first to involve either of his parents – is of his mother leaning down into his crib. She is wearing all black, with a scarf of sorts around her neck, and something protruding from her back, held in place by a strap. In the memory, he stares first at the tail end of a military-issue machine gun that is on his mothers back as she kisses his tiny cheek, and then at her face as she pulls the scarf up to cover everything except for her eyes. “Sleep well, my precious baby,” she says in the memory, and then disappears into the night.

They grow up in a house that is big and empty, surprisingly so considering Aunt Tamie and their parents and their parents co-workers are coming and going all the time. Juuki continues to do everything he can to raise Miko without attracting their parents attention, and they never talk about it. To Miko, this is normal; to Juuki, this is better. Tamie especially expresses her pride in him, over and over again, and tells them in her own gruff way that she is there for them before either of their parents.

It is not until Miko is old enough to be sort-of independent that the two boys are sent away to a boarding school outside the city their parents house is in. Tamie tells them it is an international school, and that it is for the best. Their parents say it is in their own best interests to go without complaint, and Juuki doesn’t complain, because he knows by now that having an armoury as an accepted norm in his childhood is not a good thing, and he’d rather Miko escape it. Miko doesn’t complain because he takes too many cues from Juuki, and doesn’t feel enough attachment to either of his parents to protest. It’s not that they’re negligent (though they are) or distant, exactly; it’s just that Juuki is a better caregiver than them, and his brother is only three years older.

Juuki takes to math and socialising with absolutely anyone who will talk to him. He finds it impossible to be consistent: to his desk partner in math, he is intelligent and quick-witted, to the girl who sits with him at lunch, he is quiet and sarcastic. There are more personalities that he tries on the same way others try on clothes, and the only one that sticks is the caring older brother.

Miko takes to school in general, but he does not get flawless grades. He averages B’s and C’s and to Juuki he seems quietly content, though he worries that his little brother is having trouble interacting with other people. It’s not a baseless concern, it’s a fair one: Miko did not know other people when they lived in their parents house, and was always content to depend on Juuki for whatever company he wanted. That continues as months turn into years at the international school, and for all Juuki wishes Miko would learn to do more, he seems perfectly satisfied with offering shy smiles to whoever Juuki forces him to hang around with.

Juuki resolves to do something to help Miko, because this can’t be healthy – except before anything can change, Tamie appears to pick them up from school. She does not explain to the headmaster or teachers or to Miko and Juuki, instead bundling them into her car. It’s black and inconspicuous. Juuki finds a pistol in the glovebox when he reaches for the gum she used to keep there, and stares at her with wide eyes, weapon limp in his hands. “Auntie?”

“I have some bad news,” she says as lightly as she can.

From the backseat, Miko clears his throat. “Did our parents get executed for betraying Yakuza?”

Juuki whips around to stare at his little brother, wide eyed. He knows his parents aren’t the best people, aren’t necessarily nice, but they aren’t abusive. But Miko sounds so certain, so matter of fact, that he’s inclined to believe it. After all, Miko is the observant one. He’s the one who would know.

Tamie’s hands are white where they grip the steering wheel, and she directs Juuki to dig through the glovebox to find the papers she actually meant for him to find. There is a passport there for each of them, and plane tickets. They are Japanese passports, which makes sense, considering they are Japanese – but the names are written in English characters, not Kanji or Hiragana or Katakana. Juuki squints at it, interpreting the Romanized characters only thanks to the past few years of English classes. “Lucas?” he asks slowly, reading the name from alongside his own face. “And – Michael?”

“Your idiot parents,” Tamie starts. She pauses to clear her throat. “Your brother is correct. Your parents are – were – Yakuza, and they made mistakes. Their superiors found out.” She softens her voice to say, “I’m sorry, Juuki, but your parents are dead.”

He stops for a moment then, processing. “But then – what? I want to see them.”

“No, you don’t,” Miko says quietly. Still in the backseat, he does not move. “It’ll be better if you remember them alive. Then you – we – get to pretend. Right?”

Tamie nods once, sharply – slowly. For all she isn’t really their aunt, at least not biologically, she does care for them. That is part of why she is here now. “I want you both to know that lying to you has been difficult.”

Miko swallows, Juuki rubs at his eyes. He doesn’t want to be sad that his parents are gone – they really, really haven’t ever been that great – but he can’t help it. They were more attentive with him than they were with Miko; that’s just a fact, a consequence of him being an only child for a few years. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Juuki asks. His voice has risen an octave.

And Tamie talks and talks and talks, explaining everything. How their parents are, were, high ranking Yakuza, high enough to be a problem, but not high enough to be on top. About how their home has been a base of operations for much longer than Juuki has been alive, that it has only been a permanent residence for just that long. How their parents are too proud to split custody, about how it took Tamie most of Miko’s life to convince them that it would be best to send them to an international school to learn, to pick up skills and contacts that would make them useful to them in the long run. And she talks about how her name really is Tamie, and no, she isn’t really related to them. She is Japanese-Filipino, which explains why Juuki always believed that she wasn’t their biological aunt, and she was chosen to be one of three undercover Interpol agents infiltrating the Yakuza. It just so happened that Tamie’s in was their parents. She explains in great detail how she has never precisely cared for their parents except in the way you might care for a distant cousin, but that she has always loved Juuki, and always loved Miko, as long as they’ve been alive. This has been her mission for as long as Juuki has been alive, if not a little longer – she is vague on the details – but when the higherups got word that there was a leak within the Yakuza, and investigated enough to pick up the one that existed between Tamie and their parents, well – she is absolutely certain that twisting the arm of her handler until she had a way out of the country for the boys she loves like her own is the right thing to do. And that’s why she did it.

“So,” she finishes awkwardly, “I, um. If you want, they’ve agreed to let me have sole custody of the two of you. But we cannot stay here, or anywhere in Japan – there is too much risk that the Yakuza will track you. Which is why your passports have American names on them.” She pauses and bites her lip, and it’s such an unusual show of uncertainty on her that Juuki almost smiles. “You wouldn’t be able to be Miko and Juuki any more, except when you are absolutely certain you’re in private. And I can’t guarantee your safety forever, but I know – I will do everything in my power to give you normal lives. As much as can be expected.”

Juuki – Lucas, now, he supposes – listens, and he wonders if it would be cruel to point out that she has not given them much of a choice. It is no choice, really, when their options are either to reject her and end up alone in a foreign country where Miko – Michael – does not speak the language, and Lucas can barely read it – or they can accept her offer, and get something like a trusted relative out of this.

It’s no offer at all, really.

“We want whatever you can provide,” Miko says – Michael says. Lucas pinches himself. Michael, Michael, Michael.

He resolves then that he will do anything to keep his little brother out of trouble, no matter what level of his own integrity it challenges. He can do this one thing for him, be there for him in a way their parents never were.

It’s the least he could do, really – or at least as he sees it.

#headcanon #hc #hc. michael #hc. lucas #kristie's writing #kwriting #kwrites #kristie writes #ft. lucas #ft. michael #ft. tamie

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s3venpounds · 6 years

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1-70

For real? I mean I don’t mind but I’m starting to feel like no one actually reads these lol

1. You just opened up a web browser. What is the first site you visit?

Tumblr usually

2. You just walked into a bookstore. What section do you go to first?

Teen section. Their books are short and sweet and the romance books i find in the general romance section are huge and just have huge bulging men. I just wanna read about dumb teenagers doing dumb things but also accidentally being poetic as all hell sometimes dumb jokes are a plus as well.( plus I don’t have enough patience for long books haha)

3. You are hanging with your closest friends. What are you most likely doing? On my phone. Still part of the conversation just replying out loud with no eye contact unless its a really funny story or topic

4. You just turned your car on. What station is the radio tuned to?Don’t got a car but I’d love to just go for the general top songs in my city. I usually listen to really old songs so listening to whats popular takes me by surprise nowadays

5. You have just woken up for the morning. What is the first things you do? Check my phone if someone messaged me during the night or my calendar app if theres anything I have planned today

6. Complete this phrase: You cannot buy happiness, but you can buy____. BBQ Pulled Pork or Adobong Lechon Kawali

7. What would you do if you woke up as the opposite gender? See if I’m attractive to my standards? Probably go hang out with friends BUT tell them all me and my cousin are coming to chill with BUT i cancel last minute so my cousin is still coming to meet them. Commence pranks

8. Are you more likely to cook for yourself or buy food from a restaurant? Buy food from a restaurant. Although I’d love to try a bunch of recipes from youtube vids

9. If you had to lose one of your senses, which one would you rather lose? I would say smell? although given how taste works I’d lose about 70% of taste if i lose smell right? but i still wanna taste food so yeah smell.

10. If you could relive any one year of your life, how old would you be? 17 that or 13 would be neato

11. Would you take a bullet for anyone you know? yes

12. Would you rather be rich and dumb or poor and extremely intelligent? rich and dumb. Ignorance is bliss I say.

13. What TV character do you most relate to? I don’t know any TV characters that I can relate to but I do know some Disney movie characters I relate to? Jim from Treasure planet is the biggest one

14. You just walked into a supermarket. What section do you first go to? Frozen section or snack aisle ice cream and junk food mmmm

15. Is sex before marriage wrong? nope. I feel like marriage comes after you’ve accepted them for EVERY aspect. then again it depends on how you view sex. If its sacred to you more power to ya, if its just whatever it feels good hey i agree. its wrong if only 1 person agrees to have it.

16. You just won the lottery. What is the first thing you do with your winnings?keep 25% in a secure place. a portion goes to a bunch of charities and streamers of my choice. a portion goes to whatever i wanna spend it on. a portion goes to pay off whatever friend’s college debts i can. a portion goes to a way i can keep a stable income i can live off of. and a portion goes to my family I guess.

17. If your best friend admitted that they have a crush on you, how would you react? I don’t feel the same.

18. Will the USA ever have a female president? I fuckin’ hope so. Maybe not hilary clinton. maybe. I don’t know enough about politics to make an informed opinion

19. You are carpooling with your friends. Are you more likely to be the driver or a passenger? Passenger, I space out too much

20. How short is too short for skirts and dresses? Nothing is too short i guess. let people wear what they want. its the people looking at fault for objectifying or whatever

21. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, without any consequences, what food would you choose? Potatoes sounds neato. that or sandwiches cuz i can customize it as much as i like. potatoes sounds like a def good idea tho

22. It’s Saturday night. What are you most likely doing? playing overwatch with friends

23. You go on a blind date. Your date is extremely beautiful and physically captivating, but you hate their personality. Would you want a second date? depends on what part of their personality I hate. Are they shallow ? Are they hate filled or closed minded? if they simply just disagree with things like pineapples vs no pineapples on pizza then thats fine, take the good with the bad. if its the closed minded stuff then no I wouldn’t want a second date. Be as pretty as you like, if I can’t stand you then theres no use.

24. How strict should gun laws be? Pretty fucking strict? what, we were in like not even a month of 2018 and we get another school shooting? are you fucking serious? like look at every other country out there, majority of them had 1 school shooting and said “ ok lets maybe be stricter on gun laws” boom. public shootings basically disappeared. WE NEED STRICTER GUN LAWS. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

25. Would you rather be the worst player on the best team or the best player on the worst team? Worst player on the best team. Because I’m bound to improve and I would never be playing alone. I AM on a team after all.

26. How well do you work with others? Dunno. I would say I’m ok but not a savant by any means. It’s been a while since I’ve had to work with someone back to back

27. You have the ability to cure only one fatal disease and eradicate it forever. What disease do you choose? Cancer most likely Whatever is most common, uncurable, and hardest to research

28. If you could go back to college and choose a different degree to study, would you? I mean maybe? I’ve seen so many of my friends look half dead and be a husk of their former selves just to graduate and thats not a hell i would willingly put myself through. But I suppose if I’m guaranteed a job right off the bat I would.

29. Where do you see yourself ten years from now? Dead? or homeless I guess.

30. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? Pro choice. If it aint yours you aint got no say over it.

31. Would you attend a same sex wedding if invited? Hell yeah, weddings a wedding. weddings mean new people and food. Especially food. oh and friends

32. So far, what has been the greatest day of your life? K Days with C and friends

33. Has anyone you know ever been arrested? Yes

34. If it could be one season year-round, what season do would you want it to be? Fall. Cold enough to use my other 60% of my wardrobe but still warm enough I can go out with shorts and a shirt and be fine

35. What is your biggest regret in life? thats a loaded question my dood. Letting my social life be such a huge focus at such a critical time

36. If you could bring one celebrity back from the dead, who would it be? Freddie Mercury? That or Elvis

37. What offends you the most? People that try to make my decisions for me thinking they have my best interests at heart.

38. Would you rather have an ugly hairstyle or be bald? ugly hairstyle eugh. I can’t do bald. I’d rather be ugly as fuck.

39. At what age did you have your first alcoholic beverage? 16 i think?

40. What do you think happens to us when we die? We’re trapped in our dead bodies until we fully rot then we wander the world as nothing but whispers and chills down people’s necks.

41. What do you think is the best way to quit smoking? I heard a hot sauna can help get rid of the tobacco in your system that makes you crave

42. If you could take home any one animal from the zoo, which animal would you choose? a Puma would be neat

43. We’re humans created or did we evolve from earlier species? I wanna say our biological predecessors were created with our evolution in mind but its not the end we may evolve further.

44. What scares you the most? Death or at least the thought of the aftermath

45. What personality trait turns you off the most? People who think theyre right and everyone else is wrong and refuse to consider new perspectives.

46. You got offered a job to do something you hate, but the pay will make you rich. Do you take it? I’d take it. maybe not for the rest of my life but at least for a while

47. If today you only had what you were thankful for yesterday, how much would you have? nothing to be honest.

48. How often do you get mad or upset at yourself? pretty often

49. If you could choose one celebrity to be your parent, who would you choose? Will Smith or Jackie Chan

50. If you could only listen to one musical artist for the rest of you life, who would you be listening to? Jon Bellion or Aj Rafael

51. Have you ever used you cell phone while driving? nope

52. Had anyone you were close to die way too young? Yup 11 KF SSAC

53. Is world peace possible? Yeah its just humanity isn’t ready for it.

54. You go on a blind date. You date is extremely ugly and physically appalling, but you are madly in love with their personality. Would you want a second date? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Most likely a second date but if youre saying this person is absolutely revolting to me then maybe not a date so much as just to hang out.

55. How did you discover that Santa Claus isn’t real? I didn’t I knew off the bat. Every time my parents would say “ its from santa” as I was with them as they bought my present. My parents don’t do subtle.

56. Do you believe in God, or some form of higher deity? I believe in some omnipotent figure HOWEVER I don’t let it dictate my life. I do believe there is something out there.I mean it can’t be coincidence that literally as soon as humanity could think they all believed in some form of god. Greek, Roman, Japanese, Korean, Indian, Native, Hawaiian etc.

57. If you could save someone you deeply cared about, but it meant breaking a law, would you do it? Hell yes. Jail time is temporary, A life is permanent.

58. What is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done for money? Yknow I never done something like this yet I always wanted to

59. If you were to make a YouTube video about what you know most about, what would the subject be? Injustices or poetry about rain

60. What do you think is your greatest personality flaw? Also a loaded question. Theres a lot haha. I would sayyyyyyyyy how hypocritical I am.

61. If your friends spoke to you the way you speak to yourself, would you still want them as friend? nah

62. Have you ever “woke up like this”? Do you mean the song or something else. If its the song then no.

63. You got offered a job to do something you love, but the pay is one of the worst out there. Do you take it? Hell yeah man, part time jobs exists, other ways to make money exist. If I love it then money is a small price to pay to be happy for the rest of my life.

64. What do you think is your best physical feature? I’ve been told my hair is nice and my eye brows?

65. What do you think is your worst physical feature. the way my face looks when i smile

66. Do you know anyone who has committed suicide? no.

67. What is the nicest thing you’ve ever done for someone you don’t know? I talked to a stranger who was new to the city about all the places to have fun. Malls, tourists sights, events, small cafes and restaurants and activites.

68. Have you ever had a night’s dream come true? Oh god no. My dreams are all crazy as fuck the MOST TAME one was where i was in a shopping bazaar in Philippines and i got shot 5 times in the bathroom by someone who went on a rampage. and thats the most tame

69. How would you reject a date offer from someone you didn’t like? I’m gonna pass on that. - is what I would say.

70. Which do you think is worse: Failure, or never trying at all? Never trying at all.

#ask me shit #this took a while hahaha enjoyed it tho

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unsocialspecies · 7 years

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Jeffrey and his dear ol ma and pa find a sleepy little hotel in some small town on theyr way to see cousin randall up north young jeff has been against the trip from the start he says it interferes with his partying and he doesn’t really relate to people who sleep. As his parents drift off and he is left to his thoughts his mind begins to race. He finds the down time unbearable and hes nearly chewed a hole threw his tounge. Suddenly he bolts upright in bed He turns to where his parents are sleeping and yells “yo dad psssst pops where the party at? what the hell you sleepin for are you a lazy fuckin bum or something??” His father a costumed to jeffs shenanigans calmly retorts back “Son shut your fucking mouth its 1 a.m” Damn … well I tried. Jeff says to himself as he lays back down. Thoughts of hoodrat shit le cigarettes honkey tonks and hangin with blue collar gentlemen and rollin bolo back home streak across his mind he remembers the good times digging through trash staring at radio tower lights all night with ol boy Jr all the lurpage that’s going on back at the trap without him and all the fun hes missing out on. Fuck it he swings out of bed and makes his way to the bathroom “ight pops get to sleep you lazy fuck ill be in the bathroom probably jerkin my gerkin till sunrise Oh ill try to act surprised when you bust in at 3am to take a piss but no promises after the 4th time it loses its excitement and after the last one remember when I was trying to hit a bolo and slap my sausage at the same time well it just want the same . After that I kinda just put it off as one of those thing that happen Anyway if you ever decide to stop being lame and show some interest in the finer things in this life well you know where to find me I got the firest dope in the whole trailer park this shit will fuuuuuck your whole life it aint dope if it doesn’t make you regret all your life choices take a hit of this and you will come out of your zone 5 years later you will notice your in an r.v and theres pictures hanging up of you and a dog eating wedding cake together you are wearing a huge white dress but whats this .. No it couldn’t be the dog is in a tux and you realize that dog in the picture that dog eating cake with you …That’s now your husband and that’s when it hits you … you realize how good that fucking dope was and your like duuuude im so glad my son let me party with him that night so dad in conclusion come on don’t you wanna have some good friendly fun with crystal meth . Jeffs father has become a bit triggered after hearing another weird fucking story that probably came about from some fucked hallucination jeff accidentally filed under reality Jeffs dad says “Son im not and I never ever will join in on your weird fucked up activities iv seen enough I don’t want to dabble in anymore of your tweakery than I have to” Well dad that’s on you and if those are the kind of selfish choices you want to make in life then I cant tell you what to do just remember im not mad im just disappointed now give me the wifi password so I can go set up headquarters and get some videos buffered up its gonna be long night nuts don’t bust themselves it’s a lot of hard work and blood and sweat and tears. Jeff grabs the wifi password and locks himself in the bathroom. AHHHHH bliss I should get paid for this he chuckles to himself before getting down to business first things first he pulls out his pookie and blows the fattest cloud on record. Then its time. He is focused like hes on a mission from god. After he stretches and gets in the zone The suddle slapping of a monkey is the only noise heard throughout the night. Hours pass by but to jeff time is only made up it does not exist in his reality A thump against the door startles him out of focus and breaks the steady pattern of fapping goddamit jeff whispers . the door crashes open as his dad comes in rubs his eyes and realizes whats going on “oh for god sake son your gonna rub your godamn dick off at this rate if you spent as much time collecting pennies off the ground as you do peddlin on your pecker iv swear Iv become numb to all this shit I ll probably walk in next time and you will be bent over the sink reaching an arm back fingerboppin your asshole what do you wan… Dad …dad jeff interrupts his fathers breakdown to ask an important question “WHAT???!!! JEFF what is it” uhhhhh I wanted to ask you if it was normal for a shaft to go numb…. Not me though my penis is healthy . Im asking for a friend. jeffs father has a distant stare on his face as he shakes his head slowly back in forth and scratches at his hair “OK YOU WIN JEFF never have I heard of anyone BOMBING THE FUGGIN universe as much as you have in one day every time I think it cant get anymore disappointing you proceed to bypass your previous shame by miles. You are the definition of a terminal illness growing like a godamn tumor. Don’t get up from your throne I wouldn’t wanna come between you and the only true passion iv ever seen you have for anything. Ill just piss outside oh and to let you in on a little something something your mom explained last night her growing dislike towards you its not about the drugs or trannies you brought to grandmas last month its “THAT stupid fucking look on your face your always making she cant stand it and if it continues to intrude on her life she will have to take a hammer and bash it until it caves in on itself the bright side is we can go to the Halloween store and pick you out a mask. Think of it like that show where they tear apart those shitty houses and make them look amazing…. But hey maybe it wont come to that just practice in the mirror son try really hard to not look retarded I know just be strong if anything just think about that Halloween mask you will get to wear. Jeff sighs…. Oh my good godamn I see how it is I figured something was fishy but didn’t look into it due to a mix up in differentiating between pychosis and my incredible intuition. see I pick up on small things that the normal person would never even think about but due to paranoia and sleep deprivation sometimes I just confuse red flags as my own made up dellusion. Ya know whaa….But there was no point explaining the situation to his dad for the old man must of lost focus and walked off right at the beginning…. Well some people just don’t function on this high of a brain frequency almost makes ya feel sorry for em. They cant help being fools. Oh well I got other shit to take care of important stuff . He quickly makes a calculation in his head and decides if he cannot climax by sun up he will go to the doctor but 150 google searches 300 different adult websites and an undetermined number of computer viruses Young jeff finaly got the sweet satisfaction he had set out to find he let out a sigh of relief although it was short lived because as soon as his heels touched back down on the bathroom floor his legs both cramped and jeff let out a horrific scream as he crumbled to the ground. after dragging the lower half of his body across the bathroom and crawling over into the bathtub he dove deep into his mind body and spirit….. Bingo “ I should just sit next time im whoopin the worm that way my legs don’t get weak and I don’t lose feeling in my lower extremities next time I bust a nut” suddenly he felt a lot better about things see most people wouldn’t take the time to figure out why life dealt such a hard blow but not jeff he took in every factor anlysed the situation and he aint gonna make the same mistake more than maybe 3 times . So there he sat waiting for his leg muscles to return to the correct places. Hmmmmm “you like that you like it when people get injured while jerking off as you watch the whole thing and laugh about later with your no good hippie step son”!!!he began pondering the existence of god he flipped his pecker like some toy from a souvenir shop it helped him think smarter he wondered if even though he had no faith in the holy spirit and was not a believer why it felt so good to talk shit to god maybe im having a spiritual awakening or just need somebody to blame. Ah maybe I should pray perhaps prayer is just another method of begging .The man upstairs sounds like the haggling type of son a bitch maybe hes into horse trades. Then jeff did something he aint never done before he bowed his head stopped playing with his damn pecker put his hands together and prayed “Lord I don’t know if your listening but im in some trouble nothing too bad but… just please if you hear this gimme some feeling in my legs back I learned my lesson I heard somewhere theres no choking the chicken in heaven I know it cant be true though because what would heaven be if you couldn’t beat your meat every now and again. Anyway maybe that whole leg cramp thing was a god given sign of some sort but it was totally unnecessary now Iv not been on too good terms with you because back a couple months or so when I lost that portable dvd player under a truck wheel in the driveway and getting crushed. I blamed joe joe bean for the longest time but considering the holy spirit in charge of shit around here is you I figure you’re the sorry son a bitch that put joe joe up to something like that.

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nebulous-walkabout · 7 years

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sands of identity falling thru an hourglass

driving past danny bonaduce’s house everyday looking at the uncut grass and dereliction that was his property and feeling the dread that the life of the washed up dj on '104.3 the golden oldies' in chicago is one of the first emotions i remember feeling tied to music. the stale decaying music that got played over and over for people that wouldnt try anything new, to me seemed destructive and soul crushing. thats generally where we first experience music though, in the back seat of our parents car. and my mom loved the oldies. of course it wasnt until a decade later when he would come out as a crackhead on celebrity rehab that it really made sense why the red headed kid from the partridge family wouldnt mow his lawn. for some reason that i cannot find though, this feeling i got when i would drive past his house with my mom while listening to his radio show, is still the feeling i get when i hear most old music. my musical taste is shaped by what i would absorb in my first few years on earth. they were a strange time for me, like most awkward kids. and we moved a few times, like most awkward kids. but we also moved stratospherically thru the socioeconomic structure when i was too young to understand it. when i was 6 or 7 in the first house i remember, we got a bose cd player and i discovered my parents cds. one of the first ones i remember playing over and over was smashing pumpkins' mellon collie and infinite sadness. i remember springsteen albums everywhere. live. even 4 non-blondes. rolling stones. that stuff laid the foundation for how i would unconsciously receive music and form my own taste. of course after you discover your parents music, you hunt out your own. and in the early 90's that was all about MTV. sure when youre 8 you dont understand it. but you know what other people think is cool. and i think that was the point. i dont know how the older kids consumed their mtv, but i can tell you 90's kids and later were all told exactly what they should like and listen to by VJ's we wish we were still dressing like. thats what informed us. taught us what kind of music we should explore, so later when we were old enough to peruse the aisles of tower records alone we could actually find what we like. the thing that made mtv better than the radio early on was it was selling an entire culture, not just pop hits. all sorts of atrocities from the faux fashion world of 1994 were pushed into the minds of millions of kids who let it define their childhoods. from mtv you found the sound, then you went out and tried to find it again in something else. after school most days i would hang out at my neighbor's house, he was older and actually my brothers friend, but i remember coming into possession of a Green Jelly CD at his house one day and my world changed. it was something i thought was uniquely for me, but how could it be? thats what music was about back then, buying into the idea that youre cool for liking this thing that everyone else likes too. quickly after that you start in on green day, and you love dookie, but you love it more because you think the secret song is just for you. and its a treat. and you use the music to make you louder. and you scream. but everyone is screaming. and no one else can hear you. i remember where i was when the news came on and told the world kurt cobain died. i was in the living room being forced to eat macaroni and cheese by my older cousin. i can still remember the carpet, but not the furniture. and its not so much that as a nine year old that i cared so much that kurt cobain died, because as a kid you dont really know who he is, you just know hes nirvana and hes cool. and your parents want to keep you away from the tv bc they dont want you thinking about hot guys killing themselves. fine. but that only made you like nirvana even more. then thats the sound. all i ever knew was that i really liked loud music, and thats all i ever liked. you start hating that youve been listening to B96 with all the girls that would grow up to be wannabe valley girls. you run around thinking you like music before you really know what it is. your identity at this age starts to be formed by it, although at this age its formed around the cool shit you do on your bikes when youre with youre friends. it relies upon how long you hold the controller before you die and have to let your friends play whatever video game you just got.

and then you move. youre alone. youve gone from this world you knew, and had a place in, to a very different place. for me it was even stranger, moving from a normal neighborhood with friends next door, to a place where you couldnt see your neighbors house, and your friends were always a car ride away. the houses were huge. the land was massive. and youre alone in the center of both. you become dependent on finding ways to occupy yourself. you start making your own mixtapes off the radio. you continue to make them better, tape over the songs youre tired of. you steal your older brother cd's. and then my parents had one of these giant motorized satelite dishes installed. it got everything. my new source of new kinds of music was movies on tv. movies like bio-dome changed my musical course. you hear a different kind of punk. and sure now you look back and its shitty, but back then it represented a change. and you felt good, and you want to be pauly shore with stephen baldwins terrible dreadlocks. and you want to dye your skin blue and skydive strapped into a drum kit. so you start taking drum lessons. and then you realize youre the weird kid. i didnt care. i liked what i liked, i didnt fit in with the way the rest of the rich kids liked to be. sure i had friends, but i had more than enough time to sit at home alone and absorb the world i thought i wanted to be a part of. for the last couple years before the internet descended from the heavens my musical taste was almost entirely forged by movie soundtracks. empire records, dazed and confused, and trainspotting. ever since then the joy i feel watching a movie depends almost exclusively on what im hearing behind the the people talking. my choice of movie relies on music, and to some extent the reverse is true as well, although i can enjoy music without a movie, but i cant enjoy a movie without music. this is something that has remained true throughout the rest of my life up until today. in fact, thinking back, it is probably the reason i love so many terrible movies, because if it has a good soundtrack i dont really care how bad the story is. i would find myself more and more trying to find music from movies when walking the aisles at tower. i always wished i had a tower closer to my house, so my trips were not as frequent as i would have liked. instead often times i was marooned at home watching the golden age of music video technology. a period in time where who was making what video was news. the last couple years of mtv's usefulness was a weird time, in that trl and the rest of its programming was pointing us all towards a very specific set of music and videos again. it was like we jumped back in time 10 years and all we were given access to was the top 10, just like the radio had been doing for years. but then something changed. and it was everything. all the sudden your reach was limitless with a computer. all of the sudden it didnt matter that i was sitting alone at home. i had a computer, and for the first couple years the music came to me at 56.6kbps over the phone. i would sit up in the office under my moms painting studio on the other side of the house and just watch those status bars slowly fill in while i waited for my music. there was no limit. you would hear bands on mtv, early in the morning or late at night, or youd watchsnl or conan or kilborn. you never knew any of the bands but they informed your musical zeitgeist. and after you heard something you would know if it was 'it' or not, and if it was, you put it in queue to download. next thing you know youre listening to narcotic by liquido. your infinite musical catalog in the year 2000 was only limited by one thing: your drive to find new music. and so thats the way its been for almost 20 years. with endless new music at my fingertips, im still always floored by certain songs that i love but almost never hear anymore. part of the joy comes from knowing people would laugh at me if they came across me listening to certain things i like. in most cases these songs are terrible and im in the minority for loving them but theyre a part of me. and if you can listen to 'give it up' by cut'n'move without getting into it, youre a robot. by the time i was a teenager i was just another white kid living in a whitewashed world all day, anytime i left my room i was surrounded by people walking around with starched collars. but at home and in my car i could listen to my music as loud as i wanted, i made an obnoxious effort to let people know i was them. i would drive around in a range rover, with the harmon/kardon sub in the back turned up all the way, didnt matter where i was, school, the park, practice, the country club, they all heard what i was listening to, it didnt matter if it was pearl jams' crazy mary or the st lunatics. our world changed when our ability to freely pick out our own music tailored by our own tastes and informed by exposure to stuff like thestraightdope.com or whoever's music was playing in the background of kurt loders news updates. since then ive used peoples taste in music against them. it wasnt that i really cared what they listened to as much as what they wouldnt listen to. its a good barometer in my eyes. people that cant discern good music for themselves generally cant do much at all on their own. its my firm belief that if youre open about not liking something then you should at least have a reason. were living in a time where every thing you see or do is interrupted by someone trying to sell you on their idea. the freedoms to be yourself appear to again be fleeting. the last bastion of personal freedom is quickly becoming monetized in a way it hasnt been before. the same way mtv turned into the channel that plays teenage mom all day, people are finding ways to sell people the same generic package again. you have to fight hard to find your personal space in this world and be yourself. while my musical taste is a representation of me and me alone, its sort of like a batch of cookies. my cookie might have more chocolate chips but all the dough came from the same bowl.

#music #writing #need notes #proofreading #no one even reads these

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