going absolutely insane

Death Loves No One

Cause if he did he'd want to keep them forever

After obtaining the title as Ghost King and losing all his family, Danny started to feel lonely. He had friends, ghosts that would stay for eternity by his side but it wasn't the same. Danny felt that his personal connections were what kept him sane, the evenings with Clockwork calmed him down, but it wasn't the same calm that Jazz used to provide.

So, when he was given the title of Equilibrium it wasn't really a big deal. It was just another title among a thousand others, Clockwork advised him to visit earth to discover his purpose but also warned him that he would not look human.

Danny accepted it but didn't take it seriously, he couldn't help but get scared when people started screaming around him. He wasn't doing anything weird, he was visiting the cemetery, his family's graves, but everyone was running away scared.

He realized that since he lost Jazz (the last one to leave) he no longer looked human. He wondered if it was possible that someone might be interested in talking to him but dismissed it. Some people began to nickname him "Death" because all he did was stay in the cemetery.

That's why it was extremely rare to find a boy calling him every day and making a small talk, he became attached to the boy. The boy would visit different graves but always stayed to talk to him, never yelled, or called him a bad name. Danny couldn't help but love him the same way he loved his family.

He wasn't surprised that the boy died soon after (knowing him brought misfortune didn't it?), but he never stopped visiting the cemetery. So, when the boy rose from his grave completely disoriented, Danny wondered if it was somehow his fault.

Cross's assumption is correct, that's exactly what I'm implying. So be a good boy and lay down pls :3

Cross: you-

Killer: implying what?

Cross: that they're gonna break my leg

Killer: .

↓ Damage Count ↓

999999999

999999999

999999999

999999999

shout out the abusive parents 💥 ✊ 🔥💯 can always count on you to ensure I'll have a stroke and die due to stress before im 40 🙏 can't get that kind of reliability from just anywhere 🥺 💯 🔥🔥🔥

i think the reason why im so drawn to spirit tracks and pkmn scarvi is that having the legendary/princess as a companion rather than a goal that marks the games completion makes me feel satisfied the way i would after helping a friend

my brother always teases me about how I still havent finished botw after almost 7 years bc "id rather be out picking flowers" which i wont say is untrue. and yes i know Zeldas been holding off ganon for 100 years, yes i can get some sort of idea what her relationship with link was like by recalling memories and going through her diary. ive always loved botw for its unique storytelling and setting which makes it stand out, because it lets you get to know who you're saving.

but because theyre memories, it only works if theres something for the player to investigate that already happened. its retroactive (but effective nonetheless)

on the other hand, spirit tracks does something similar but instead of having the player try to piece together memories and interpret them as a spectator, you actually have an opportunity to get to know zelda yourself by talking to her and working together. besides making it a gameplay mechanic, giving the player control over how they interact with zelda makes it so much more personable.

and I find that making the goal feel personal instead of an obligation gives me more of a reason to work towards it. I know what kind of person botw zelda was but as the player, shes still very much a stranger to me. but spirit tracks zelda? thats my friend!!!! she invited me to go to the beach after we get her body back!!! i dont want to whip her to make her move faster thats mean :(

you know how hostage negotiators are trained to introduce themselves and get to know the person theyre negotiating with because its harder to hurt someone when you know what their favorite food is? its kinda like that, because it feels like im helping a friend than being told or led to do smth

and although i havent played scarvi myself, i feel an attachment to koraidon and miraidon even just watching playthrough clips because its like!! thats my weird scaly dog!! it loves sandwiches and we're friends!!! you know!!!!!!

pls i need to provide updates

Garroth's outfit in MCD S3

This crazy dinosaur doesn't know not to attack the guy with the brawler trait, kickass melee ability, and the magic hammer.

And Irwin is not clever enough to realise that when his toes get bitten off, he should maybe prioritise going to the hospital over eating his lunch. Silly boy.

I wonder where he keeps Xanxalbur when he's working? I just imagine he does the Animal Crossing thing and pulls it out of nowhere with that cheery little jingle.

I can't draw dinosaurs I'm sorry

Not sure how the genetics of two baseliners makes one yttakin, but I don't feel like questioning it right now. Anyway, turns out Wendy and Kawoo are related. That's kind of fun. Also, Wendy's dad is named "Liquid Science", which is the coolest name ever.

The flu has taken my sweet babies :(

This was just an excuse to draw Zonovo with his hair out, and Kaz looking after baby Andy (because despite being sick himself, Kaz is still one of my more competent doctors and decided to look after the kid before himself and I thought it was adorable).

Also, today I had a flat tyre and nothing to do but draw while I waited for it to get patched up, so here's what I accomplished with the sketchbook from my car (I have hidden sketchbooks everywhere just in case) and a felt pen I had in my bag. I liked it, so it gets to go on the blog. Enjoy!

First | Next | Previous

MITCHELL AKUTAGAWA EPISODE!!!!!!!!!!

hiii do u have a part two to this or just any other thoughts on it i’ve only just seen it

never fear, friend, i can always talk more about anything 😌🌱✨️ can you—imagine how awkward this dinner was LOL

nobody really says anything, for your daughter's sake. your mom tries to be casual, even says that it's nice to see touya, and goes so far as to ask how he's been.

"been eatin' nothing but prison food for the past..." he makes a show of counting his fingers quietly, before turning to your daughter in your lap. "how old are you?"

she's completely unafraid of him, of most things, and she answers with a show of her teeth, the front two that are missing. "six."

a small smile has touya's lips curling, a soft and genuine adoration eating away at his sharp edges. "—six years, so," he shrugs, "really couldn't get better than this."

it's meant to be a joke, but you're the only one that laughs, maybe because you know him so well. maybe because you're the only one that can see all his differences. across the table, your brother scoffs and shakes his head at his plate—but it's your sister that opens her big mouth.

"glad to know that life is really looking up for you," she stabs at her carrots, hard enough that her fork screeches against the ceramic. "that you can just—walk back in and have whatever you want." the glare she sends is hateful, though it doesn't stay fixed on you for very long.

because he can't help but be a pain, touya scoffs, too, and murmurs, "hey, i did my time."

"yeah," she abandons the utensils totally, tossing them harshly onto the tabletop. "and that was well deserved, too, after all the crap you pulled."

"yeah," touya mimics, "it sure was, but don't act like i didn't pay for the shit i did."

"oh, so you think you're done? you've missed her entire life and now you think—"

"okay, enough." you shout, hitting the table so that the dishes will clatter, ring out over their voices.

the resentment is heavy, thick like the smell of sulfur, the bitter taste of it—but this isn't their pill to swallow. you glance at touya, the fists he has in his lap, the furious shake of his leg; maybe you're as dumb as you've always been to let him back in, but you look at him and still see the boy that loved you at sixteen. that has always watched you with that same gentle stare, even when things were at their worst.

"i didn't bring him here so you could tear him apart."

"then why did you bring him?" your sister snarls, "this gonna be your big announcement night? break the awful news to—"

"no," you bang the table again, and your daughter squirms in your lap, lip out far in her pout. when you glance at touya again, you see the same look echoed on his face. "i brought him because he's our family."

and—the room goes quiet. a silent night.

touya's frown deepens, and he places an elbow on the table so that he can run a harsh hand over his face and through his hair, like your words have stressed him. like he has trouble accepting them, believing them.

your daughter notices the tattoos on his hands, peeking out from the long sleeves of the nice shirt he's wearing, and she points at them, brave. "you draw on yourself?"

he looks down at her with bright, glittery eyes, the same color as hers, and nods. "yeah," he sniffs, turning to better face her, look as if you are the only two in the room. the only two that matter.

she touches at her face, her own cheek, and asks, "why do you have that bandaid on?"

"more drawings," he shrugs, jaw clenching as your sister stands to leave the table, your brother not far behind. from the corner of your eye, you can see your mother gently dabbing at her own with her napkin. "this one here is my favorite," touya tells her, tapping the bandaid. "i'll show you why, one day."

On strange jobs and family legacies

(or how a certail Mr. Fell got himself a barber in the 1800's and has been visiting him ever since...or so he believes)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

a very short drabble inspired by this post by @andhumanslovedstories (hope you don't mind me taking this delicious inspo, shoving it down my greedy throat and running away with it like a feral dog)- anyway enjoy!

*somewhere in London, at a pub, in the wee hours of the morning probably*

"So the job market's damn tough these days, right? The missus thinks I oughta spruce up my applications but I just.. how does one even go about adding 'amateur occult barber' to their CV?"

"Probably list it as a special skill. Wait, what do you mean occult?"

*shrugs* "Yeah, man, my family's been, like, haunted? For generations. This strange fella pops up every four years like clockwork to get his haircut. His hair doesn't actually grow all that much though so he mostly just gossips for a bit and then leaves. Some thought he was a vampire but he shows up in mirrors just fine, so...my money's on ghost."

"Ha, right. That's enough whiskey for you, mate. You're wasted."

"Am not! It's all true! Goes all the way back to my great-great-great-great-maybe even greater-grandfather! We kinda pass him down through generations. You know how some families have, like, war medals and gold watches and stuff as heirlooms? Think that, but a bit more fucked up. There's even this big family book of all his crazy stories and all!"

"...you realise how insane you sound, right?"

"Meh, you get used to it. His tips alone put the last five generations of my family through university so we just kinda stopped asking questions."

"So you're telling me. You're haunted. By a billionaire ghost."

"Yup."

"And he doesn't...I don't know, torment you in any way? Just.. asks you to cut his hair."

"Uh-uh. Not so big on the whole door-slamming, wall-scratching, book-throwing business. Just got a knack for personal grooming I suppose."

"...Brian, you're an accountant."

"Yeah. I don't think he noticed."

while only a minority share this view, i do find it somewhat tone deaf when people claim jay's ending is the best outcome for an abuse survivor -- either directly or indirectly implying everyone in the holt house was an abuser that jay, their sole little victim, had to get away from. for starters, none of his endings are happy ones. not even the fugitive path where he's holed up amongst nature, has a dog, and is bathed in solitude. maybe if you close your ears to what jay's saying during that scene you could see this as good for him, but his dialogue is stifled with an achingly loneliness, a sadness. this idea that he craved being alone in the wilderness is not one jay paints himself, it's only something that's said by tyler ; someone who clearly doesn't understand the younger on any level, much less grasps his desires. yes, jay wanted out, he likes nature, though no human can stew in their own space for years without this affecting them mentally. and that's not even taking into account that his entire life is over! he can't travel, he can't visit other countries or get lost in other areas of wood lands or plains, jay is infinitely stuck where he is. it's not a prison cell but it's a cage nonetheless, as the old saying goes : a golden cage is still a cage, after all. he tells zoe these beautiful sights have grown dull on him, laments about missing his family, vanessa, and is so chained by his want for connection he reaches out to a desert dream victim of all people. like, what about this muted cynicism, this barren home, seems happy? maybe he wanted this, some whimsical dream of this, before. now though? it's not what jay thought it'd be, and he lacks any power to change it. this is not some amazing ending for abuse survivors, it's still sad in a melancholy way, simply because jay is visibly unhappy with said circumstances.

but moving on to this, ah, ‘poor little victim in a lion's den’ narrative ... what? i think a lot of people fail to grasp how complex the holt household is in terms of toxicity and abuse. something that's very common nowadays due to how much people project rather than see what's in front of them. and don't get me wrong! projection is fine, you do you, we all consume and parse through media differently -- but this narrative is, by canon evidence, rather fictional. to be completely blunt, jay is not the only victim stuck in the holt house ?? the abusers have always been bear ( physical abuse, verbal degradation ) and sharon ( passive in the face of her kids' abuse, emotional manipulation ) ... and we are literally told point blank by the story itself and another character that these two favored jay immensely compared to their other children. now i'm obviously not saying that he has not faced trauma, he has! favoritism in a house like this does not shield you from the toxicity, sometimes that favor makes things worse, but he was protected to an extent, in ways tyler and dale were not. those two very clearly faced the brunt of bear's physical abuse ; for each other, for jay, and just overall caught their dad's ire more because they stood up to him. tyler takes a beating, a sight that's not at all new by his grim acceptance of this and the fact he states he's been doing this since young :

so, this is normal for tyler. getting beaten by his dad ( which isn't even mentioning the horror story bear can tell to ash, about how he literally threatened to cut tyler's ear or finger off ) and having his mom overall turn a blind eye to it, even going as far as to dismiss this fighting as childish behavior rather than what it is. and dale? we don't see much of him and bear in general, yet the second he steps up to defend tyler, with something as measly as a shove back, bear wastes zero time in hitting him so hard he's practically out of commission for the rest of the fight. he didn't even think about it, merely swung at dale as hard as possible on instinct alone before tyler hastily stepped up to defend him. what happens when jay tries stopping the fight, though?

both parties grab for him so they can toss him out of the way so he doesn't possibly get hurt. you can speculate bear was only doing this in order to finish his punishment on tyler, he'd deal with jay later whatever, although why not punch him like dale? why, out of all the moves on his belt, does he do the more merciful option? bear, who is nothing if not made of violence and has been molded to respect it? his fist that's raised in the air isn't for jay, since the next frame is jay shoved out of the way and him hitting tyler again ... hell, in dialogue where bear and jay are sitting on their porch, the youngest can even say bear beats on tyler and dale specifically. why not say “you beat on us”? like, the game is heavily implying that while jay is traumatized, there are some methods of abuse he simply did not face. one of them being the physical abuse prominent at home. and no, i'm not counting whatever pranks dale's pulled on jay ( like shooting him six times with a bb gun lmao ) because honestly? that's just older brother behavior, and we know that despite the morbid pranks, he still looked out for jay in the ways that counted. like protecting him from pa and to an extent tyler, something which, again, jay says himself!

back on topic a bit, the notion people seem to have of jay and his family seems overly simplified to me. people just looked at dale being his usual asshole self and went ‘abuser’, people looked at tyler's rather drastic and not usually like himself reactions to a high stress situation and went ‘abuser’, and that's a bit ridiculous to me. can't say i'm shocked! since so many people nowadays just see someone mean to their favorite character and decide woobifying said fave while demonizing their opposing force is exactly what canon intended. as dusk falls couldn't be a game more clear about it's main theme of family and the fact there's no purely good or bad people in this world, two statements that correspond directly to the holt family. are they bad for each other? probably! but that's a different discussion compared to, say, every single soul in that house violently abused poor jay and they should reap the consequences of that. dale and tyler, like their beloved younger brother, are also victims of abusive parents and a toxic home life. in turn, they both show signs of this abuse in ways that aren't entirely sympathetic or easy to swallow, especially when they've been dealing with it longer than jay and have never had their parents' favor the way he did. i see people get angry at tyler for the famous cabin scene, but nobody turns a critical eye to sharon ; who for all intents and purposes is watching this unfold without a care. she never physically stops tyler and her attempts to kill the fight are weak compared to her previously steely commands. and, honestly, the fact that tyler was that stressed about sharon getting on that bike so she can be protected, when she's the most capable out of the three of them, is way more strange than tyler's outburst -- when he's in a high stress situation, his baby brother's dead, and his life as he knows it is over. a life he didn't even have to begin with, since it was stolen due to his abusive upbringing.

whether this excuses what he did or not is entirely up to the player! i personally don't think it does, though i also understand where this is coming from and the game makes it clear this is not usual tyler behavior. throughout other people's views it's hammered into us that tyler has a cool head relatively, is the most sensible and smart out of his brothers. so, no, i do not think he was choking jay out all the time for his misplaced resentment -- i think his obvious disliking came from his stilted interactions with jay, and his lack of bond with him at all. we see in book one two times he reaches out to jay, demanding that he eats ( a minor, small thing to fret and worry about ) as well as panicking when he sees jay away from the rest of them during a shoot out. dale constantly looks out for jay as well, going as far as to take the heat from romero if they get caught and something as small as taking blame for jay's mistake in the barn scene. are his brothers more prone to violence and apathy? sure! yet they clearly love jay regardless. abusive households are not easy and see through. in fact in many cases the different levels of abuse the kids suffer does breed life altering resentment later on, envy that can damage these bonds permanently. honestly the holt family intrigues me deeply because of how well written they were as a unit, the effects of abuse and toxicity subtle and not overt in a ‘psa message’ kinda way. and these horrible relationships and ideals shared do not negate from the even more horrible fact that there is love in this messed up family, even bear clearly loves his sons, but that doesn't make it better. it almost makes it worse, seeing all the good intentions and care. knowing it doesn't excuse what they've done to each other nor does it make them better. they're a picture perfect family of an ugly wound! which is fascinating! i only wish more people saw that wonderfully shown depth rather than this bland and lukewarm take on the holts overall.

jay is a victim, he is traumatized, he deserved to one day spread his wings and put some distance between himself and his family ... but he was not the only one who deserved that ending, and he was not the only victim there. he was merely the only one with easy to parse trauma responses.

Random, but. It’s fascinating how “Valjean and Javert written by someone who thinks cops are Good” is so radically different from “Valjean and Javert written by someone who thinks cops are Bad.”

Like, for me the number one Thing that will determine whether I enjoy someone’s take on Valjean and Javert are whether they realize that the police/prison as an institution destroyed both of their lives, and is the villain of both of their stories XD.

But yeah it’s really fascinating! Both in adaptations and in fanfiction, the tone/interpretation with which the plot beats are handled can change so much about the characterization. All the adaptations/fic start off with the same basic plot beats but so much can be changed and colored (for better or worse) by the way the author chooses to interpret them

not now kitten mommy's trying to hold it all together right now

I'm so tired of dealing with my in-laws. They are making Christmas hell for like the third year running and I could deal with it when it was just me and my husband, but with a grandchild in the mix, I MIGHT just snap.

Just rewatched Thor 1 and Odin rips off Thor’s circle chestplates in the banishing scene. It seemed like some sort of cultural statement, but it was lost on me. Thoughts?

Well the clothes are part of the character’s identity, you see, so Odin strips him of those too when tossing him out of Asgard. (They resemble Odin’s own ceremonial chest plates.)