#they really do be the sun and moon trope in this game huh
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nerd!ollie x jock!felix ideas & hcs! 🌟
- felix plays lacrosse and obviously is the best player on the team,, always getting his team wins and taking them out to the pub to celebrate afterwards
- ollie is a science/anatomy major!!!!!!!!! my man is a true nerd: had a space themed bedroom as a kid, does math problems & puzzles in his free time,, the whole 9 yards!! ppl probably pay him to do their homework and write their essays for them (he “can’t” say no)
- their relationship dynamic gives introvert x extrovert, black cat x golden retriever, sun x moon trope if y’know what i mean
- since ollie is majoring in anatomy he really likes dissecting things….HES A FUCKING WEIRDO WHAT DO YOU EXPECT OKAY (always going to the lab to do his little freak boy experiments & to study etc etc)
- felix has the same personality he does in the movie but imagine if amped the fuck up since he’s a jock: loud (no matter the situation), touchy (definitely smacks his teammates ass, shoulders, scruffing up their hair out of excitement etc)
- all the girls at oxford pack the stands of felix’s games just to fawn over him and hope to get his attention so they can sleep with him
- ollie memorized felix’s schedule, dates of his games, probability of him going out to the pub outside of winning a game etc; when i tell you he is a grade A stalker i mean it!
- when ollie watches felix play he fantasizes about what his body and muscles look like moving under his jersey,, probably getting hard when he sees a sweaty felix yelling at his teammate to try harder
- ollie catches felix making out with a girl and this infuriates him so what does he do? give felix the wrong answers for an assignment so he fails as revenge,, but he doesn’t get off that easy because felix comes storming into his room cursing and pushing ollie up against a wall !! probably asking if ollie was jealous and that’s why he did it…maybe threatens to release a picture of ollie in a very compromising position (on his knees cum all over his face and glasses just the usual lol)
- felix probably teases ollie about how needy and weird he is, “you probably wanna smell my jersey huh? get off on it right?” nothing like some good old humiliation <3
- felix’s teammates picking up on felix spending more time with ollie instead of them so they corner ollie and beat him up and obviously felix “saves the day” by telling them to fuck off and helps tend to ollie’s wounds…that may or may not entail kissing the bruises on his face no homo™️ style
- ollie reading out loud to felix to prepare for a test and feix just touching up on ollie to see how hard he gets…loving the sound of ollie’s voice cracking as he reads and ultimately loses he place
- ollie likes “accidentally” running into felix after his practices once they get to know each other more so he can see how sweaty and out of breath he is after practice (it’s obvs turns him on)
- felix likes getting ollie plastered just so he can have even more of an excuse to walk ollie to his dorm and help him get ready for bed
- sometimes when they are blackout drunk they hump each other (felix oftentimes comes too fast and they both laugh it off)
i hope you enjoyed! here’s some pics of the boys i think fit the nerd! x jock! vibe 😇
@fuckingwoodfuckingpaneling the hcs have dropped!!!
#lgbtqia#saltburn#oliver quick#saltburn posting#felix catton#cattonquick#felix x oliver#saltburn 2023#wormswurld posts 🌟#wormswurld brainrot 🌟
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a relationship gone sour
Warnings: physical abuse, toxic relationships, swearing, the whole ‘yandere’ trope, heavily implied death
Pairing: yandere! Tendou Satori x gender neutral reader
Themes: uhm? read the warning again pls
Word count: 1869 - one-shot
Summary: You and your friends devised a plan to escape your toxic relationship, however Tendou ends things before you even get the chance to.
…You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy, when skies are grey…
A familiar hum traveled with the cool breeze that tickled his cheeks. The smell of wet concrete lingered in the air from the heavy downpour earlier. The streetlights had automatically turned off some time ago and the moon hid behind dark, dried-up clouds. ‘Would you be happy to see him? Excited, even? Or would you look at him the same way you’d begun to for many weeks now?’ Tendou could only wonder. For a moment he was worried he’d arrived too early, but it didn’t matter. He promised you that he would visit – even if you didn’t know it yet.
***
Your legs felt heavy once you finally emerged from the bathroom, a yawn escaping your lips. You weren’t used to staying up so late; you had met up with a couple of friends for a much-needed study session and lost track of time. Once you all finally parted ways it was already past midnight and all that you could do was mentally apologize to your future self for being exhausted the following day.
Conversation of school gossip quickly turned into a targeted interrogation towards you. To be fair, your friends were deeply worried for you. They made no secret of their dissatisfaction in your relationship since you heard every complaint under the sun. Gentle concern eventually turned to stern berating out of desperation and much to their dismay, you easily brushed off their remarks and defended Tendou every. Single. Time.
Tendou always stood out to you as an oddball type; he was loud, playful and marched to the beat of his own drum. You fell in love with his quick wit and sardonic humor and grew innately protective over him when you learned about his difficult childhood.
But as months passed, the line between satire and sincerity became more and more blurred. It wasn’t until he would become increasingly obsessive and his lampooning more threatening that you understood the gravity of his words. You were constantly walking on eggshells around him as your formerly sweet relationship quickly turned acidic.
You weren’t wearing your rose-colored glasses anymore and the confession of your relationship woes were met with sighs of relief. Grammar structure and algebraic formulas soon became trivial as you and your friends started planning a way for you to escape your toxic relationship. The worry that weighed heavily on your mind finally lifted as you felt the warm compassion of your closest friends’ envelope you like a heated blanket.
How long has it been since you felt this way?
You smiled to yourself – still riding feathery-light high from earlier – and brushed your thoughts aside, deciding to deal with them again in the morning. You rounded the corner into the hallway, a slight spring in your step as you went, before stopping abruptly.
The light went out.
You made a mental note to replace the broken lightbulb as soon as possible. While you weren’t shrouded in complete darkness, the newly missing light source still created an illusive atmosphere that you weren’t fond of. Your shadow crept up and bounced off the walls and the end of the hallway was left in pitch-darkness. The only thing you could barely make out was the faint outline of your clothes that hung from the clothes stand, creating an eerily human-like shape. You considered to check the door to see if it was locked but decided against it; you were just being paranoid and in your sleepy state it was expected for your mind to play tricks on you.
What you didn’t expect was for the shape to take a step forward.
Your breath hitched in your throat and you could feel how each individual hair stood on end. The figure took another agonizingly slow step forward, revealing its silhouette to be that of a male with a tall, lanky build. You wanted nothing more than to run away, but the cold shiver that went down your spine had you completely frozen. Your legs had locked themselves in place and all you could do was watch in horror as they took a third step forward, the dim lighting cascading across his face and illuminating his features.
“Satori!”
“Hello there, Sunshine.” His tone was sardonic, fleering as he extended his arms towards you. “I’ve missed you… how about a hug?”
You wanted to reply but only managed to choke out a cough; the sharp, excruciating pain at the back of your head traveled down your spine and spread outwards, making your whole backside throb. You didn’t even have time to react when he lunged forward, toppling you off your feet and knocking the wind out of your lungs. The room felt as if it were spinning as you hopelessly watched Tendou and his double merge in and out of each other, both of them offering you an ear-splitting grin. A painful, heavy pressure provoked another coughing fit and your eyes darted to the source – the center of your chest caved in where Tendou deeply dug his knee, the other planted firmly on your left arm while one hand pinned your right down.
You tried desperately to thrash your legs in a frantic attempt to kick him off, but the way you were angled made it nearly impossible to reach him. He remained unyielding as he stayed perched onto you like a gargoyle, his crimson eyes boring into you acrimoniously. A pout formed on his lips as he watched you squirm beneath him, tilting his head so unnaturally that it practically rested on his shoulder.
“Is that any way to greet the love of your life?” he cooed.
“Satori please, I can’t- I can’t breathe,” you gasped, still convulsing in pain.
“Hm? Oh, guess I don’t know my own strength,” he responded dispassionately, focusing his attention on the dirt under his nails. He knew exactly what he was doing, this was all just a child’s play for him. With Tendou it was always a game – and you were the prize. You shifted beneath him, finally able to somewhat breathe as the pressure elevated.
“Satori, sweetheart – if this is about before, then you have nothing to be jealous about! I was just studying-”
“Huh?” he leaned back with crossed arms, not enough loosen his grip but enough so that he almost sat upright. “Jealous? This has nothing do with jealousy. I made you a promise, remember?”
A promise? Your mind frantically raced trying to remember when he had promised you something. What promise?
He smiled wryly and answered as though he had read your mind, “I promised you that I would keep you safe – that I would keep our relationship safe. I know everything about you and I’ll be damned if anything ever gets between us!”
You winced at his menacing tone; you always knew Tendou could switch from cheerful to incredibly threatening at the drop of a hat and you regretted not listening to your friends sooner. However now, dread enveloped you as you felt a sense of foreshadowing in his words.
“Satori… I am safe! I’m not going anywhere, see?”
His face softened and he abruptly leaned forward, his face just inches above your own. His breath tickled your nose and you had to collect all your willpower to not recoil as his long fingers caressed the side of your cheek ever so gently.
“That’s a lie.”
Your eyes widened in panic as you felt your whole body be overcome with despair.
“Satori, I –”
“I thought we had a pretty good thing going for us. You really accepted me fully and I am so, so thankful for that.” Despite his casual delivery, there was a genuine fondness written on his face, only revealed by the small crinkles that developed under his eyes. “So, when you started to look at me the way everyone else did – like some freak – I knew that wasn’t you. My beloved Y/N wouldn’t look at me like I’m some fucking monster.”
“I – I don’t think that – I would never think you’re a monster!”
You were interrupted by a deafeningly loud clap, the sound still echoing through the room as you felt blistering sting from where Tendou’s hand met your cheek. You briefly saw him multiply again, but even through blurred vision you could see his manic eyes twinkle like rubies.
“Goodness Y/N, you’re just full of lies today!”
His cheery tone made you cower. You knew you couldn’t overpower your 6’2” boyfriend – you already tried that – so in your desperation all you had left was to reason with him.
“Satori please! I’m your sunshine, remember…? You wouldn’t want to hurt your sunshine, right?” your pleas came out as pathetic whimpers, hot tears threatening to spill over your cheeks, already sticky and tear-stained from before.
“Well, yeah I guess.” His face turned thoughtful for a split-second while he considered your words. “But you’re also the one who took my sunshine away. Y/N wouldn’t look at me like I’m some demon.” He shrugged nonchalantly, his expression immediately returning to its morbid excitement.
“But if that’s what you think, then I’ll show you a real fucking abomination.”
He leaned forward and planted a kiss onto your right cheek. Then your left. You wanted to scream but your cries stopped in your throat, right where Tendou had wrapped his long, calloused fingers.
“I wanted to be mad at you, but I just can’t. It’s my fault all of this happened, I failed at protecting you.”
He fastened his grip, adding additional pressure through his digits and onto your larynx. While you felt your throat tighten, you could also feel the weight on your chest get heavier as Tendou slowly and tortuously added more of his bodyweight. His frenzied breath and your choked cries were only drowned out by the earsplitting cracks of your ribs. With both arms freed, you frantically tried to pry his fingers off, scratching his face and punching him as hard as you could. He didn’t even react – completely ignoring the scratches that now decorated his face. The hits you landed felt more like pesky flies to him.
“Forgive me, but I have to do this. It’ll only take a sec.”
Tendou’s grip tightened, silencing you completely. Exhaustion overwhelmed you as the adrenaline from before started to wear off. The weight of your arms felt like cinderblocks as they slowly drooped down, just faintly clasping at the fabric of his sleeves.
“I wish things could have been different.”
You were unsure of who spoke as Tendou’s multiples reappeared, almost as if to taunt you while a black haze emerged from the corners of your eyes. His eyes gleamed nefariously and his face split into a maniacal, shit-eating grin – a final farewell – as your vision fully eclipsed.
“I’m sorry.”
***
The pillowy clouds from earlier had finally dissipated once Tendou stepped back outside, veiling the sleepy neighborhood in a dim moonlight. The breeze from before had died down, leaving the air stagnant. How ordinary. Nothing stood out on this night except for the familiar tune that could be faintly heard in the distance.
…You’ll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away…
#*sigh* i lowkey rly hate this#haikyuu x reader#tendou x reader#haikyuu!! x reader#hq!! reader#tendou satori#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu oneshot#tw: abuse#tw: death#tw: yandere#lemme know what else to tag and ill correct it#at the very least#i was able to put a creative spin on my past#ya-fucking-hoo#selfmade#hq after dark!!
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🌟Lets spread some love for content creators because they havent gotten as much as they deserve lately! If you get this tell me about five works you love (fics, art, gifs, anything!) then send this message to at least five other people🌟
right five MORE let’s go!!!!! i love this game:
@artsy-highway what can i about about leo and all their talent ... so SO much and i know i’m know i’m supposed to focus on one piece of work but a whole series counts, right? leo’s comfortember well... just that... so bloody comforting!!!!! each new fic brings me heaps of warmth and happiness each day. i’m amaze at how leo is so committed to the series, giving us not only a new fix every damn day, but ones that are so unique and brilliant and captivating. your imagination!!!!!! i could NEVER. the fics are always the last thing i read before i go to sleep, and the first things i think about it the morning. thank you for making this gloomy, dull, lockdown november that little easier and more joyous for us all. AND we’re only halfway through.. what a TREAT <33
@cqllumhighway so as we are probably aware i ADORE everything cait creates. every. last. thing!!!! and it was so difficult to choose just one gif self because damn, they’re all so brilliant. but this one — remember, the sun is a star too — this one is more than that, it’s stunning and gorgeous and so heartachingly them. i am in Love with the ideology that callum is and ben is the moon and if anyone wants to know why, check this gifset out. "callum had a smile bright enough to outshine the sun / ben ia all darkness amd starlight eyes" i mean !!!!!! have you ever heard anything thats them better? i sure as Hell haven't!!! MY HEART. i have no idea how cait does it, to alwayss manage to find the most beautiful and fitting quotes/poems and turn then into the most gorgeous gifsets with her insane talents. she outdoes herself every time. were so lucky to have you, cait x
@callumsmitchells lucy has produced So many incredible fics for our lil fandom (47!!!) and we are so lucky to have been blessed with each and every one of them, but a particular favourite of mine (and everyone else’s i assume) is i can't get over the way (you love me like you do) — this au has all the tropes we could ever dream of included, all which are written so SO well and incredibly in character for ben and callum. which is testament to lucy’s talents, she’s knows there two so well that she could throw them in any universe and they would just make sense. the above fic is beautiful from start to finish, it’s hopeful and it’s tender and it’s full of all these tiny little detail that’ll make your eyes cry and your heart smile. it’s just... it’s so WARM. like a massive hug on a winters day. you’re an angel, luce <33
@halfwayinit i remember reading one of katie’s very first fics, laid bare, on my way to work very early one morning and it just made me so Happy!!!!! i fell in love with her poetry-like words. but i don’t think we’d ever spoken much at this point, but i’ll always remember how down katie felt about her fics and her (incredible) writing talents. and then i compare that to now - and her more recent fics such as it’s a kind of magic and God!!!! God, i am SO unbelievably proud of this girl!!!! it’s a kind of magic is Everything. it’s one of my favourite fics forever and always. it’s as if katie has this crazy ability to put you under a spell (ha! see what i did there...) and draw you in. her words are so captivating that’s it’s literally impossible not to read this fic in one go!!!! and god, it’s such a happy read. it’s got that perfect balance of angst and fluff, of will they won’t they? but beneath it all is this overwhelming sense of love and hope that’ll leave you grinning at your phone like an idiot. and as much as i LOVED Katie’s earlier fics too (so SO much!!!) i cry everything i think about how fats she’s come in her writing and confidence and everything. i lov her btw x
@permetstu vikki!!!! what can i say without vikki with sounding like some obsessed fan girl, huh? well firstly this was Very hard to choose just one creation because vikki has put so many brilliant pieces out there for us all to enjoy ... in fact it was such a hard choice i’ve actually gone with two lmao sorry i don’t make the rules i just break them 🥴 annnway: gifset this edit of their first meeting... it’s SO wonderful in so many way. i absolutely love the black & white look but the added yellow really makes it. it makes something so new and tentative feel so warm and familiar and comforting. and that’s just what ballum are, aren’t they? and the words vikki has chosen just for perfectly!!!! my Heart!!!!!!!! now for a fic: a million ways (to say i love you) ... wow!!!! i think this was the first fic of vikki’s that i ever read and God, i had no idea she could write like THAT. damn this girl and her endless talents!!!!! this fic is gorgeous from the very first word to the very last, it’s tender and gentle and hopeful. vikki’s characterisation of the boys is so brilliant, this fic is everything they are an md so much more. i’m in AWE <33
#oh my GOD do i ever SHUT UP#(the answer is No)#nobody asked for an essay but here’s 5 xxx#asks#anon
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Spin the Dawn
⭐⭐⭐⭐; me @ the main characters: so many things would work out if either one of you had a slightly more developed (emotionally, intelligently...) braincell....and one of you is FIVE HUNDRED YEARS OLD 😡🤬
Oh?? 👌😉😏
diversity!! richly described southeast asian inspired-setting. as a southeast asian myself im always into that sweet sweet asian-inspired worldbuilding
inspired by the myth of the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl! at least, im pretty sure. the story itself uses a lot of other elements that don’t happen in the original story but i still got that vibe from the characters
i liked the main character, maia - she was a little feistier than she was cold hard BDE, but! she put her money where her mouth was when it came to a challenge, and worked hard for her victory
lots of weaving imagery, which i love - if you’re gonna have a protagonist who creates some kind of art, you better believe im expecting extensive metaphors and painstaking depictions of pouring your whole heart into something breathtakingly gorgeous, powerful enough to bring the masses to their knees
No.. ❌🤢🤮
male love interest is *hand-wavey motion* much older than the female protagonist, on account of him being a hot sexy immortal magic man. im not too annoyed by this, because the dynamic was relatively balanced in-story, but it does annoy me as a trope on its own merit. why does he need to be that much older, especially when he’s not that much more mature??
not necessarily a complaint, but an observation: some of maia’s decisions were very YA protagonist; as in, i needed her to stop using her emotions as an excuse. if you’re gonna do it for the sake of a good dicking down, at least admit it to yourself, woman! it’s okay to be H word. you and i both know you’re gunning for that ass. just stop lying to me
Summary: Maia, the lone girl in a family of three boisterous brotherss, is a talented seamstress poised with the skills and the drive to take over the family’s tailoring business. Only she possesses both the patience and the artistic flair for making the most beautiful of dresses - so when the imperial palace summons the greatest tailors in the kingdom to become the new empress’s official dressmaker, she disguises herself as a boy (Mulan-style!) to take her aging father’s place. After some Project Runway shenanigans, the emperor’s bride-to-be throws a perfectly staged curve ball on things - she refuses to accept the royal wedding unless her appointed tailor is good enough to complete an impossibly gruelling task - crafting three beautiful, handsewn, uniquely-designed dresses to serve as her wedding gift. Oh, and if that wasn’t a tall enough order for one lone (and relatively inexperienced) dressmaker - the dresses she has in mind are made from the laughter of sun, the tears of the moon, and the blood of the stars. So that’s fun.
Concept: 💭💭💭💭
The cover. The COVER. Whew!! I make no pretenses about being a shallow reader, and this cover hit. right. Her cover artist really doesn’t miss! The blues! The stance! The spinning golden thread! The blurb actually managed to curb my excitement somewhat because I can smell a protagonist-falls-in-love-with-someone-she-probably-shouldnt subplot like a freshly rotting carcass, but I took another look at the cover and thought, I’ve made worse decisions than this. I’ll read it for the weaving metaphors. No regrets.
Vague spoilers under the cut!
Execution: 💥💥💥💥
And the verdict is....no regrets! Guess I will continue to go on being helplessly shallow about beautiful book covers. I didn’t love this story, but it was a fun romp through a well-paced plot and a gorgeously detailed fantasy world (the moon, sun, and star imagery.....monkey brain says huhuhu sparkly things do bring joy and I believe that), so there was really nothing to hate. I’m not too desperate for the sequel (except that I really need to know if my babe Sarhai gets her happy ending) but I want to pick it up eventually!
Personal Enjoyment: ❤❤❤
This book took me 3 days to finish this after taking two months (two attempts! why didn’t I just dnf..) to finish To Kill a Kingdom. It got me out of the bad reading slump so well, so fast! I really liked the writing style - the cadence rolled, instead of stabbed (insert bad weaving / sewing metaphor here). However, I really could’ve done without the rapidly intensifying no-braincell energy (NBE) of the two protagonists. While I’m in no way opposed to NBE, the fact is that the BDE wasn’t strong enough to justify the lack of thoughts - I kept thinking ‘where were the two of you when they were handing out the good braincells?? huh??? HUH????’. Love made them stupid but not more unhinged. *deep sigh* What a waste of a good simp
Favourite Moment: I have the distinct memory of Lady Sarhai stomping around the gardens with a handful of arrows and dead hawks (doves? she was trying to shoot the enchanter if i remember right. BDE honestly) and Lord Xina following after being a simp. maia did some shit too but i was paying more attention to the important stuff
Favourite Character: its a close match between Lady Sarhai and Lord Xina. Lord Xina only appeared like twice in this whole book but damnit im probably more invested in HIS love life than i am with maia’s. maia can figure her own shit out, she’s proved capable, but that Lord Xina dude willingly chose to simp for a highly pissed-off, hotheaded viper of a woman, and that can only mean one thing: he is a Man With Taste. we have no choice but to stan! plus in the narrative it’s pretty clear to me that Lady Sarhai and Lord Xina fully communicate their next moves (desperate, desperate moves on a sparse chessboard, bless their lovestruck souls) to each other before they pull anything. Sarhai’s next moves are calculated, and defiant, and Lord Xina plays his bad hand in a losing game with such precision. I just *clenches fist* we love open communication and clear co-conspirators in this house!!
#spin the dawn#elizabeth lim#books#book review#booklover#bookblr#reading#sorry this is a little late ive been vibing out
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Hi, hi, popping in with questions! H, K, L, S and Y if I may know the answers (≧◡≦)
Thanks for the question, luv <3 :3 H is the last one, because it’s... Long... ^^”””
K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?
Huh, I usually write angst with happy ending... With a couple of exceptions for song prompts. In that category, it would be Anchor. If we’re talking about longer works, then well, The Game of Sun and Moon, if you read The Sun first - I think that’s the angstiest thing I have ever written. It isn’t gory, it isn’t even all that emotionally taxing... But all signs point to rather dark conclusion and we have nothing to disprove those.
Original fiction-wise, I came up with a story of a girl... To put it simply, a child that is burdened with consequences of actions of the adults.
L: What’s the weirdest AU you’ve ever come up with?
Polish MC Disco Polo Azuchi castle Edition. The idea of MC singing “PRZEZ TWE OCZY, TWE OCZY ZIELONE OSZALAŁAAM” to Ieyasu haunts me to this day. (” It’s because of your eyes, your green eyes that I became insane”).
S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?
Fantasy AUs and wholesome fics in which main characters already have kids - and they’re freaking good parents.
Y: A character you want to protect.
Huh, I don’t think I have one. All the Azuchi boys can protect themselves, though I do feel a strong urge to shout at Masamune when he ignores his feelings.
H: How would you describe your style?
Short answer, to quote my Polish teacher: free spirit. (I am so very sorry about the long one :II)
Long answer: Wowiee, I kinda want to erupt in a stream of words and at the same time, it’s kinda hard to say what’s important... Well, for starters, I do like playing with subordinate clauses - though that might have been lost, as it’s a feature of my writing style in... Polish. I did try to bring it into English, but well, my understanding of grammar may be too limited to do that well. I like to think that composition of my multi-chapter works is pretty consistent (as in The Song about Princess and The Fox - 4-3-4-3 sentence pattern for each “strophe”, or as in Alike - in the first chapter, narration circles around Masamune’s perspective, although it isn’t written from his POV. Then, in the second chapter we’re switching to Mai. This time, narrator leans closer to her side when describing some details of what had happened. I don’t know how to put it in words well, but in one chapter Masamune cut his finger and went to the bathroom to take care of it - in her chapter narrator filed us in on what happened then in the kitchen).
I like to hide little things here and there. ( Again, Alike... It’s been hinted that one of the characters was adopted - although I do think that it was easy to miss, so I plan to reaffirm that... There was at least one other thing mentioned there ^^” ; sometimes those “hidden things” are just basically reasons as to why something would work in a certain way - why Torakikumaru didn’t die in Dragon’s Treasure - or just hints to other scripts, as it was the case with Judgement Day).
I can’t really visualize the things I write - I usually get just a scene or two per fic, although those are usually static and very vague, I can’t “zoom in”... So I just kinda throw in the things that create atmosphere and hope for the best. After all, the readers already have some ideas in their mind - my job is to just point them in the right direction... This also brings up a very interesting thing, although again - I’m not sure whether I managed to adapt this thing to my English-writing style...You know, how some words mean very similar things but have a slightly different “aura”? I loved playing with those, even if it’s just a tiny detail... Though, again, it was probably lost.
(I swear, I’m almost done, I’m so sorry for babbling ^^”””)
And finally: I make stuff up as I go. I usually have only one or two major plot points in my mind when I start a fic and that’s it. I start thinking about what should happen now when I open the file. Sometimes I have some vague idea for composition, but that’s it. YES, THIS APPLIES TO EDITING AS WELL. For most of the time, I finish writing and post it like half an hour later... Btw, I also have a rule I follow - at least 3 sentences or lines must be written before I can reuse the word (that is, unless it’s absolutely necessary).
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the ultimate tagged masterpost
so, i have been slacking in returning y’all’s tagged games and i felt really bad because some of them were writing tag games...and i had nothing to show for. HOWEVER! i have made a sort of bounce back with a lot of friends supporting me :)
let’s kick things off, huh?
1) “ six sentence snippet tag” tagged by @thedragonkween (im love u!) and @the-darklings (CHILE love u as well!)
here’s y’all’s king quentin beck!! also, i think this is...six sentences...
Quentin isn’t sure why he continues to twiddle with the gold band around his ring finger while he’s not performing in front of an audience.
After every debriefing, he takes a bow as the curtain draws before him, the spotlight diminishing from his view, he can’t help but reach for it. The ring acts like some sort of tether, bound somewhere between the role Quentin plays and something far fetched...a yearning feeling that breaks his own heart at times. He can’t quite find the words to express how he feels but he knows to ignore such foolish longing.
Focus, Beck.
Focus.
2) “author questionnaire tag” tagged by @veanery (gracias, mi amiga!!) and @deviantramblings (MISS. LAUREN!! MWAH!!)
fandoms you write for: bruh moment, it changes almost every single day or sumn. i predominately write for marvel and star wars however i have written for john wick, devil may cry 5, stranger things, and d*troit: b*come h*man in the past. i thought about writing for rdr2 hehe
where you post: if you don’t find my work here, you can find me at ao3 under the pseudo “zebracakes”. fair warning, i do not upload all my stories there unless it’s a personal story that i think my readers over there will appreciate as well. so, if u think u see my work on wattpad or whatever y’all mfs use, that ain’t me!
most popular one-shot: Under the Twinkling Stars is a fake wedding date!john wick x reader story that honestly never thought would take off the way that it did. nearly 2k notes! it was originally a request...like wow kudos to op
most popular multi-chapter story: haha....ahh, i accidentally deleted my multi-series story but it was my one and only so there ain’t no answer here
favorite story you’ve wrote: hands down it’s νοσταλγία. this loki x reader story is something that was written in the spur of the moment and it’s about my favorite trope of all time (soulmate au). i tried a new approaching to writing and i am really happy with the outcome!! sometimes i forget that i actually wrote it sjdsajlda
a story you were nervous to post: like hannah said, all of them. authors always tend to be their own worst critics and i am no different. funny enough, i’ve actually taken down some stories i felt were just...not my strongest because they were a little embarrassing to have them up on display.
how do you choose your titles: hmm, great question! i know a lot of authors use lyrics as their titles nd like...i wish i had that kinda brand. most of the times, the title ties into the story and though it’s never stated in the story, it relates to what the story is about. some of my more “adventurous” titles revolve around foreign languages and sometimes inspired by song titles.
do you outline: HELL NAH! i have a vague concept, open up an empty text post, and ROLL WITH IT. however, with some stories, i do take a little bit of time to pinpoint crucial moments of the story but other than that...i just wing it, bro.
complete: what the fuck does this mean?? how many stories i’ve completed?? umm on this blog it’s 53? i think? i was counting fast. i did have more pero i deleted a lot of them during a spiral lmaoo
in-progress: according to my drafts, it’s 15 and they are all OVER the place. however, i do not plan on writing all of them. big sad let’s pour one out
coming soon: i know i piqued some of y’all’s interests when i said i’m stepping into the mysterio x reader fic world so i got sumn in the kitchen for y’all. surprisingly...if anyone is up to it....there’s some dbh leftovers in the fridge...
do you accept prompts: of course i always do! though motivation has been a fickle thing so...bear with me and understand if i don’t take your request.
upcoming story you are most excited to write: quentin x reader angst that has me waking up sometimes to write sumn down for it. without giving too much away, it deals with grief, heartache, longing, and...time travel? brooOo i’m the only one excited like it’s just me, omi, nur, and dori shrieking in the woodlands
3) “10 things tag” tagged by @deviantramblings (thank u, madame!)
list 10 things that make me happy :)
good music to dance to
air conditioning
cats
kind words
cold water
ibuprofen
soft blankets
pdf files
keanu reeves
finding money that you forgot u had
4) “last line tag” tagged by @deviantramblings (thank u again, ma’am), @the-darklings (*tips fedora*), and @veanery (u tagged me so LONG ago EYE)
this is for that one quentin beck x reader story i was talking about.
“Is he currently sleep walking?“
this is the last thing i typed on my draft. however, on my notes app....she is just all over the place...idk where she begins and ends. it’s utter chaos
5) “21 questions” tagged by @thefvlcon (thnak u, kayla!!)
Name / Nickname: it’s anjelica but i go by my nickname “angel”
Sign: scorpio sun, aquarius moon, scorpio rising (?) aka i’m all sorts of dumbass
Height: 5 ft 4
Hogwarts House: i’m only interested in y’all’s hufflepuff bc the mascot is cute and apparently they live near the kitchen??
Last thing I Googled: .....electric shaver....don’t @ me bro only omi knows
Favourite musician/s: bro :// umm, mitski, kshmr, lil nas x, bastille, megan thee stallion, foxes, the killers
Last song I listened to: 10,000 nights by alphabeat! such an old school bop y’all BEST listen to it
Song stuck in my head: it ranges from strawberry blond by mitski or barbed wire by rogue
Following: 78
Followers: on this writing blog, 1,861. my main blog has 1,464
Do you get asks: once in awhile hehe
Amount of Sleep: fluctuates from nine hours to straight up four hours asjkdsalk WHEW
Lucky Number: 7? it’s always been 7
What I’m Wearing: my pajamas aka a ratty light blue avengers shirt from walmart with holes and weird stains and pajama shorts with lil stars and moons from walmart as well lmaooo
Dream Trip: PUMPKIN SOUP WORLD TOUR
Instruments: flute and piano...i am a Lady
Languages: english and spanish because i’m basic and unoriginal
Favourite Song/s: of all time?? BABA YETU!!!!!!!!!!
Random Fact: wild how some of y’all don’t know that i have a twin sister. we ain’t look alike pero u came out from the same mom so
Aesthetic: exposed brick, warm tones, neon lighting, pink sunsets, matte, possums
6) “find the word tag” tagged by @deviantramblings (gosh it’s just u nd me and these tag games huh!!)
rules are you are given a set of words to search them in your wips. my set of challenge words are: tear(s), snow, sun, laugh
omg...i couldn’t....find any of those words in any of my wips asjkdsajkldsa WHEW this was quite....uneventful lmao sorry to disappoint :(( however, i did find some with the word “laughter”...does that count?
start from the beginning (connor x reader)
Hank can’t contain his laughter as he wraps his arms across his chest and shakes his graying hair. He knows that when Connor whips out his formal title out, it’s all in a joking, familial matter. “Oh, and you’re gonna use me as well? Shit, kid, might as well take my house while you’re at it.”
untitled bucky x reader
Your laughter sounds like a sweet melody, one he’s heard over and over again yet he never gets tired of hearing it. Bucky watches as you stand up and walk towards him to take the mason jars out of his hands. His eyes look down to observe a golden wedding band around your finger which prompts him to look at his own left hand. Lo and behold, gold.
oh hold up i found “laugh” lmaooo
untitled connor x reader
“Hello? Is anyone home?” He waves his hand over your face to snap you out of your daze. Your reaction makes Connor’s whole body shake as he laughs with his entire being. A shy smile grows as you lick the seam of your lips and giggle softly to yourself. The candles on the cake flicker, the flames creating a hypnotic trance as they dance to and fro.
(if it sounds ooc, there’s a reason for that that you’ll find out IF I EVER PUBLISH IT LMAOO)
WAIT! I FOUND “TEAR(S)”!!
untitled bucky x reader
Tears prickle at the edge of your eyes but you must not show the fear, the exact physiological response they’re anticipating. You slow down your erratic breathing, trying your best to calm your racing heart. Your eyes shift from your boots to the containment they are keeping your Bucky in. He is sound asleep, a false sense of peace and equilibrium. You want to caress his face and to press your body against him once again to remember the feeling you’ve lost years ago.
7) “ writing style alignment tag” tagged by @deviantramblings (u a real one)
most definitely a chaotic planster! defined by:
has an idea for a plot when they start
who writes things down??
has to assemble scenes into a frankendraft
my method is incredibly messy when it comes to writing. usually there is an idea (thanks, nick fury), which is usually triggered by a scene i want to develop. sometimes all i have is a scene but no plot. sometimes i have a concept of a plot with no real direction. AM I VALID??
8) “ playlist shuffling tag” tagged by @the-darklings (*jenna marbles voice* oh hell yeah) and @veanery (oh my gosh this tag is from many MOONS ago)
since my main playlist only has like five songs, i will go into my general playlist where it’s a literal...what even is it...
oriana by roger zarzour
focus by blackcode
superhuman by crystal knives
adios by ricky martin
take me (not your dope remix) by jikay
all you need to know by gryffin
this is love by hardwell
can’t hear a word you’re saying by x-change
kay gayi chull by the kapoor & sons cast
music del corazon by josh groban
9) “about me tag” tagged by @veanery (brooo thank u), @pointedly-foolish (ayy lmaoo suh dude), @deviantramblings (this was a popular game huh), and @wrinkledparchment (miss. lexi said rights!)
name: angel
gender: female
birthday: november 10th
relationship status: single
favorite color: sunflower yellow
top 3 ships: besides my usual self-ships, let’s do some...actual ships. finnrey, thorkyrie, finnpoe
last song: 学園天国 by clc
last movie: *checks letterboxd* spider-man: far from home lmaooo asjkdsjakl
10) “OTP challenge “ tagged by @reyskywclker (thank u for my rights, miss. parker)
besides the ones that i said in the previous tag, here’s ten more
john/abigail
han/leia
rey/jessika
sam/bucky
thor/bruce
carol/maria
t’challa/nakia
connor/north
peter/mj (mcu)
fuck i literally don’t ship a lot omg i am running on FUMES uhhhh....tiana/prince naveen
11) “about me” tagged by @reyskywclker (this is literally from earlier this year eye...)
Q1. Relationship status?
single and printing out boyfriend applications as we speak
Q2. Favourite colour?
right now it’s yellow :) it definitely fluctuates with what’s going tf on with my life. real life mood ring
Q3. Top 3 ships?
i’m going self-ships because it’s MY sleepover!! loki/me but two more times
Q4. Lipstick or chapstick?
MATTE LIQUID LIPSTICK IS THE ONLY WAY TO GOOOO
Q5. Last song I listened to?
came here for love by sigala
Q6. Last movie I watched?
spidey far from homie
12) “aesthetics tag” tagged by @deviantramblings (mwah!)
honey and lemon or milk and sugar // musicals or plays // lemonade or iced tea //strawberries or raspberries // winter or summer // beaches or forests // diners or cafés //unicorns or dragons // gemstones or crystals // hummingbirds or owls // fireworks or sparklers // brunch or happy hour // sweet or sour // rome or amsterdam // classic or modern art // sushi or ramen // sun or moon // polka dots or stripes // macaroon or croissants // glitter or matte //degas or seurat // aquariums or planetariums // road trip or camping trip //colouring books or water colour // fairy lights or candles
13) “about tag” tagged by @obsiidio (o hy mgosdhashdja HELLLLOOO!!)
name: angel, formally known as anjelica
age: 24 lmaooo
favourite colour: yellow!!
when you made this account: may 26, 2010 at 8:40:44 PM
follower count: 1,861?? i think?
superpower: night owl
favourite drink: ICE COLD WATER, BABEYY!
a song(s) you love right now: devil inside me by kshmr
dream career: for now....doing something fun while getting paid
dream vacation: tokyo and seoul aka just the pumpkin soup world tour
hogwarts house: hufflemfpuff fuck jk rowlings for sorting me into gryffindor
favourite character this week: DR. JOHNNY WILCOX!!!! HELL YEAH!!
christmas or halloween: halloweem
and THAT’S THAT ON THAT! whew, that was...a lot of energy. this took me two days to finish. for those who have not been tagged in these challenges, feel free to tag me in any of these :) you do NOT have to do each and everyone of them ajskdjsal
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❄️ If you had elemental powers, which ones would you want and why? ☘️ Do you believe in luck? ⚔️ If you could meet any fictional character in person, who would it be? 👽 Do you believe in life outside of our universe? 🌧 Clear Skies or Rain? 🌕 Sun or Moon? 🔥 Snow or Fire? 🐉 Dragons or Aliens? 📱Android or Apple? ⭐️Favorite Celebrity? 🎮 Favorite Video Game? 🔪 Favorite Weapon? 🎃 Favorite Holiday? 😱 Favorite trope in movies?
Ah jeez ah fuck okay.
I always loved earth benders from avatar, there’s a subtle fluidity to their motions but you always feel the brute strength in every punch and gesture. And when Toph starts metal bending, you start to think of all the possibilities that they have. Why couldn’t a strong earth bender with a strong water bender move a glacier for example?
Luck is easy to believe in, in my opinion. It’s simply things working out in a way that’s good for you, or bad in some cases. Is it some cosmic force guiding our lives? Maybe not that far.
I’d probably want to meet King Arthur. He’s the ideal knight and king, but even he’s flawed in the oldest tellings of his story. And then I also get to meet the knights of the round table and Merlin by association. So its a bundle, lol.
Of course, it’s impossible for one planet in a near endless universe to grow life. It’s also a fun habit of mine to brainstorm human interaction with alien life in a number of different ways. Whatever happens though, I for sure want to be alive to see it, even if I’m in my later years. Just to see it, you know?
After a long day, sometimes the rain is nice and calming, and in the right circumstances, a light and cool rain is more than welcome.
I’ve always liked moonlight more than sunshine, odd since I’ve had a minor irrational fear of the dark for most of my life. Now I’m able to wander through most of the night by moonlight alone comfortably. Kind of makes some people uncomfortable but I just see it as doomsday prepping in a sense. What do you do with a dead flashlight?
I’ve always liked the cold more than the heat. I can do a lot to keep from being cold, I can only do so much for heat. Especially when it’s a humid heat like where I live. And fresh snow is just gorgeous to look at, right?
Oh dragons for sure. What’s cooler than a giant fire breathing lizard?
I’ve always used android for phones and everything. Idk, apple products never seemed all that good to me.
Ron Perlman is the coolest old dude and you can’t change my mind. And that’s not just because I’m a Hellboy fanboy.
Oh don’t make me choose favorite games, that’s always hard because I’ll change my mind later. How about by genre, I’ve always loved the Dragon Age franchise for rpgs, personally.
I’m biased for greatswords. There’s a unique skill for using them and they just look so fucking cool, especially zweihanders.
I love Halloween because it’s an excuse for just about everyone to dress up for a time and nobody will really call it weird. It’s like a normie convention lmao.
:^) Big soft idiots who are also absolute powerhouses. It’s almost like that’s an inspiration for me in some way? Huh. Weird.
@jacobdcheshyre thanks!
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REALLY LONG CHARACTER SURVEY. // ESTELLE CASTAGNIER
RULES. repost , don’t reblog ! good luck !
TAGGED. @cielcrd tysm for this !!
TAGGING. did it at luke’s answer sheet.
BASICS.
FULL NAME: Erina ( 恵里菜 ) ‘ Estelle ‘ Castagnier.
NICKNAME: Elle ( by luke ), luckless golem ( by laiph )
AGE: 24
BIRTHDAY: 12th sun of the fourth Umbral Moon (12 August)
ETHNIC GROUP: Midlander hyur, half doman.
NATIONALITY: Ul’dah
LANGUAGE(S): Because of the echo, she knows most forms of languages
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Demisexual
ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Panromantic
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single, Pending engagement she’s trying to get out of
CLASS: Lower class
HOMETOWN / AREA: Eastern Thanalan
CURRENT HOME: Castagnier inn
PROFESSION: Warrior of light, sort of. Part time server at the Quicksand
PHYSICAL.
HAIR: Ash brown and till her collarbone with bangs reaching till her brow.
EYES: Dark brown with big irises. Usually has a spark or energy in them, becomes narrowed and focused when working on a task at hand.
NOSE: Small and average
FACE: Triangle shaped with a smooth jawline
LIPS: Small but notably a tad pouty and in the color of cherry red.
COMPLEXION: Fair and smooth.
BLEMISHES: None
SCARS: Has a medium length one walking down her left side after being attacked by a monster when her star globe becomes weathered during battle.
TATTOOS: None
HEIGHT: 163 cm
WEIGHT: 55 kg
BUILD: Average height and quite lean. Typical curves that a woman would have.
FEATURES: Nothing too outstanding.
ALLERGIES: -
USUAL HAIRSTYLE: Tied up loosely with a band along the crown of her head.
USUAL FACE LOOK: Welcoming and friendly. As the daughter of the inn, she is used to greeting people and customers. Her eyes usually shine when her friends talk, and has face that shows how interested she is in learning about them.
USUAL CLOTHING: Brown ramie poncho with tights around her legs and wears short boots. Wears a flower at the left side of her head.
PSYCHOLOGY.
FEAR(S): Ghosts, being rejected (again), losing, failing on promises she made, wolves
ASPIRATION(S): Wants to beat Garleans’ asses and expand her family’s inn.
POSITIVE TRAITS: Strong willed, optimistic, big hearted, energetic, extroverted, expressive, supportive, loyal
NEGATIVE TRAITS: Reckless, laid back, slow, forgetful, headstrong, gullible, obstinate, very laid back
ZODIAC: Leo
TEMPERAMENT: Hot
SOUL TYPE(S): Priests / Server
ANIMALS: A butterfly
VICE HABIT(S): Pride, becoming too overstimulated, overexcited and ends up exhausting herself, is really competitive with laipheaux
FAITH: In herself.
GHOSTS?: No, no, no, no, no.
AFTERLIFE?: Maybe.
REINCARNATION?: Maybe.
ALIENS?: It might be cool to think about.
POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Liberal.
ECONOMIC PREFERENCE: At the moment, she is saving as much as she could so she doesn’t really shop unless it’s really necessary.
SOCIO POLITICAL POSITION: No opinion
EDUCATION LEVEL: Pugilist guild, astrologian guild, before that - at a lower tier level.
FAMILY.
FATHER: Cassius Castagnier ( biological )
MOTHER: Kaiyo Harumi ( biological, deceased )
SIBLINGS: Luke Castagnier ( adoptive )
EXTENDED FAMILY: The other children at the inn.
NAME MEANING(S): Derived from ‘ stella ‘, meaning star. ( 恵里菜 ) comes from the kanji of 恵 ( blessing ), 里 ( village ) and 菜 ( vegetable or some sort ), which is her mother’s happiest experience when she first left her homeland and into Girdania and met her father.
HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: One of the bearers of the echo and various warriors of light that was chosen by Hydaelyn to fight as her companion.
FAVORITES.
BOOK: Doesn’t like reading and tries not to. Picture books are more of her favourite, along with recipes and books with historical paintings.
MOVIE: None
5 SONGS: None
DEITY: Oschon
HOLIDAY: Starlight Celebration
MONTH: July
SEASON: Summer
PLACE: Quicksand, Costa del Sol
WEATHER: A sunny day with blue skies and white clouds.
SOUND: Chattering from a crowd, chimes on wind bells, many laughter, soothing voices
SCENT(S): -
TASTE(S): Adventurous and rich, willing to test the flavors with her cooking and food.
FEEL(S): Chiffon fabric and the tenderness of meat
ANIMAL(S): Rabbit
NUMBER: 8
COLORS: Red, green
EXTRA.
TALENTS: Cooking, mining, drinking competitions, organizing, teasing
BAD AT: Reading, directions, sitting still, luck based games, pre planning
TURN ONS:
TURN OFFS:
HOBBIES: Cooking, going to the market,
TROPES: The Gadfly, The Social Expert, And Now You Must Marry Me, Mirthless Laughter, The Rival ( to Laipheaux )
AESTHETIC TAGS: Sundress, food, cakes, white cottages, mountains and rocks, tarot decks, hairstyles, sunflowers, glass ornaments, starry night skies, constellations
GPOY QUOTES: Not sure what this is.
FC INFO.
MAIN FC(S): Herself
ALT FC(S): Can’t think of any.
OLDER FC(S): Well... she IS an adult.
YOUNGER FC(S): Can’t think of any.
VOICE CLAIM(S): Kana Hanazawa - Japanese. demo
GENDERBENT FC(S): None.
MUN QUESTIONS.
Q1: IF YOU COULD WRITE YOUR CHARACTER YOUR WAY IN THEIR OWN MOVIE, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED, WHAT STYLE WOULD IT BE FILMED IN, AND WHAT WOULD IT BE ABOUT?:
-
Q2: WHAT WOULD THEIR SOUNDTRACK / SCORE SOUND LIKE?:
-
Q3: WHY DID YOU START WRITING THIS CHARACTER?:
A long time before Luke. I think I started her character in game for like... one or two years ago but I only added her in this blog after Luke since I wanna revive her and see what I can do with the small identity I gave her before I mained Luke.
Q4: WHAT FIRST ATTRACTED YOU TO THIS CHARACTER?:
As I played her, in my head, she seems to be a very upbeat and obliging person when asked for help - probably because she hates doing nothing too. And that I feel she has a sisterly vibe too. I also like how she can be at ease with people and has her own social grace, really loves chatting and listening to others. Man, I wish I had half the energy that she has.
Q5: DESCRIBE THE BIGGEST THING YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR MUSE:
Hmmm, it’s the competitive part, probably. I don’t really like competitions myself and I’m a very, very low key person.
Q6: WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH YOUR MUSE?:
The fact that we’re both girls ?? lmao. We’re kinda like polar opposites, to be honest - but that’s what makes it fun for me to write her. I guess one of the common things I have with her is we like to settle and resolves things quickly and then move on rather than beat around the bush, complicate things and drag it on and on. We don’t hold grudges either.
Q7: HOW DOES YOUR MUSE FEEL ABOUT YOU?:
Probably feels that I should get my ass off my room from time to time. And maybe stop trying to shorten my own lifespan with my cooking. Man,,,,,, she does not agree with what I throw into the wok. She’s friendly though so she still feels pretty okay with me.
Q8: WHAT CHARACTERS DOES YOUR MUSE HAVE INTERESTING INTERACTIONS WITH?
With my other muse, Laipheaux ( man, he is famous with my two muses, huh ). They have a friendly rivalry, mostly due to the fact that they can’t fully understand each others’ behavior well but still able to feel a sort of caring vibe from the other. Laiph didn’t think so at first until he realizes that Estelle still gave him birthday presents like she do with everyone else and left the grand company in girdania for reasons involving him too.Estelle, though she doesn’t read too much into things, acted with Laiph pretty much like she does with friends and didn’t have the same thought process about their relationship like he does. Though they used to roughhouse a lot, they’re much more calmer with each other ( at times, yeah ).
Q9: WHAT GIVES YOU INSPIRATION TO WRITE YOUR MUSE?:
Like in Luke’s answer sheet, my love for the game. Also that I really wanted to start writing female characters who aren’t outright tough and badass like Merlwyb. Sort of trying to exit my comfort zone and see how I can have fun trying new things. Estelle is still a strong character in her own right though, but has a sort of sisterly / motherly vibe ??
Q10: HOW LONG DID THIS TAKE YOU TO COMPLETE?:
Faster than Luke’s page now that I know how this works lol
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I’m inviting myself to the reindeer games because I saw @inquisitorhotpants do this and thought “Hey that looks fun”
What is your total word count on AO3?
48,281(Holy SHIT that much with the few things I have on there? *looks* huh).
How often do you write?
I either write every few days or I don’t write anything for weeks on end. There is no in-between. Ever.
Do you have a routine for writing?
There are two moods:
1. Stare intently at a document with all the ideas I have and not being able to write a single word because “huh how do I word again?” and only type one word in three hours.
2. Sit down and crank out a behemoth of a story/prompt response in a matter of hours and oh it’s 2am now, huh when did that happen?
What are your favorite kinks/tropes/pairing?
A family that isn’t blood (ex. Rielay/Emeldir, Five/Era, Ruinel/Baraneth are we seeing a trend here?). Affectionate couples being affectionate when it’s just the two of them apparently. (is angst a trope? lmao)
Platonic friendships that are super close. Platonic friendships man
Do you have a favorite fic of yours?
Uhh I’m really proud of Of Sun and Moon currently because of all the planning and worldbuilding I have done for it, even if its currently only one chapter. Accidentally In Love is my favorite thing on this whole damn blog.
Your fic with the most kudos?
Of Sun and Moon with a whopping 3 xD I’m not a very established fic author my dudes, I’m writing to the void and the two people that tolerate me and my writing.
Anything you don’t like about your writing?
Transitions between dialogue, so it's not just people standing to talk at each other, is something I have an issue with. The middle ground gets lost a bit.
Also, it's more an author thing, but my horrible fear of writing and posting “canon popular” characters. (excluding Risha apparently, she’s basically just mine at this point in my writing and she’s not very popular. I guess there’s a line. Cullen Rutherford, Alistair, Anders, ect are over that line apparently)
Now something you do like?
I really love the dynamic I get going between some of my characters and how they just fit so nicely together when I’m writing. Rielay and Emeldir (Rielay in general) is a good example of that.
I also like the voice I can put into my writing when writing someone like Rielay, which I think is why Accidentally is still my favorite fic months after I’ve written it.
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Tagged by the lovely @gahyeonns who is literally the one of best people, I present to you 11 questions that nobody except her is probably going to read.
Anyways.
1. sun or moon?
I have always preferred the moon over the sun. When I was younger I would always stare at the moon for hours when I was allowed to stay awake.
2. is there one time from school that you’d like to relive?
I mean, I don’t really care much about school, but if there is one thing that I would like to relive, it would be the trip to Prague where I was in a room with my little friend group and we’d go explore the city together.
3. what’s one person you want to fight?
Saying myself would be pretty edgy, huh? (Though I deserve an ass kicking) If not myself, I’d probably fight a guy in my class who bullies my friends. He’s no good.
4. favorite video game?
I am a huge sucker for the Legend of Zelda, Breath of the Wild is a game I can get lost in, spending hours exploring. Though another game I really love is Persona 5. I love the theme of personal justice and the morally grey main cast.
5. something you wish you had known before?
That there are people around me who care about me. And that I am not alone in my views and ideals, my problems and anxieties, that it is not frowned upon to cut people out of my life and that I am allowed to show those people my weakness.
6. worst dish you had?
fried eggplant. I had it at my ex-bestfriend’s house. It is the reason I generally dislike eggplant though I am sure that it’s not that bad. Just gives me the chills whenever someone serves it to me.
7. how many hours do you really sleep?
Depends on my day, but I usually sleep for around 7 hours on business days and 9 hours at the weekends.
8. something you regret?
Not telling my ex-bestfriend how disgusted I am with her actions... and not standing up for myself that often.
9. something about yourself you would change?
My inability to make people feel good. I just don’t think that I have ever made someone feel good about themselves.
10. favorite fairy tale?
I am more a fan of ancient myths. As a child I read less fairy tales but more ballets (Swan Lake was my favourite) or the bible (as my mom forced me to read it) I also wrote some myself and read them to my mom when I was younger. I guess I really liked the Little Mermaid and The Booted Cat.
11. you have an unlimited amount of money. what do you do with it?
I’d first help my friends and family with finances and then start a company that fights against global warming. I do have some ideas for that.
That concludes this, I tag my some of my friends from the discord server (if they want to...) @akirakurusuimagines @idkargentum @yukari-is-best-girl @coffeeandcurry @fromthephantomthieves @midnightwerewoolf
(please don’t feel obligated to do this)
1.If you were to get a dog, what breed would you get?
2.You find yourself lost in an unfamilliar environment. What do you do?
3.If you were to live your life as a videogame protagonist, whose life would you choose?
4.Harry Potter or Percy Jackson?
5. You get the opportunity to learn one language perfectly. Which one do you choose?
6.Ancient Rome or ancient Greece?
7.What TV/Book/Videogame character trope do you identify with?
8.Is there a person you’d want to be closer with? Who are they to you?
9.In a fictional universe, would you see yourself be a villain, or hero?
10.You can swap your life with one person for one day. Who would you swap with?
11.What is a hero to you?
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Epic Movie (Re)Watch #164 - Twitches
(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)
Spoilers Below
Have I seen it before: Yes
Did I like it then: Yes, but I was young.
Do I remember it: Mostly.
Did I see it in theaters: It was a TV movie, so no.
Format: DVD
1) Don’t judge me.
2) Seriously, don’t judge me. Most of us have those movies that we bought as a kid and don’t really watch anymore. That doesn’t mean they’re bad or that we should feel ashamed for owning them, it just means we shouldn’t be judged.
3) Now that no one’s judging me, let’s see which fantasy movie clichés we can cross off in the first few minutes.
Dark vs light? Check.
A prophecy? Check.
Chosen ones? Check.
Questions about their birth? Check.
Magical mentors? Check.
4) I like the idea of the twins being of the sun and the moon and it ties into a surprisingly well done juxtaposition we achieve between the two.
Cam’s Mom: “As long as the sun’s up, she’s up.”
Alex: “If the moon’s up, then I’m up.”
It’s easy to have a twin-relationship feel cliché but the film works with it well. The whole ida of Cam is day and Alex is night. Cam still has her family, Alex is reeling from the loss of hers. The fact that Cam is a skilled artist while Alex is an author. The both have a sense of the future, but Cam feels the positive and Alex feels the negative. And this is just what we get from them BEFORe they meet. Once they do we have Cam’s initial excitement played against Alex’s sheer panic and an immediate bond between the pair which is surprisingly interesting. They compliment each other and complete each other, balance each other out. It’s a surprisingly nice relationship to see play out on screen.
5) Karsh can at times feel wooden to me but I like the pair of him and Illena, the mentors who watch over Cam & Alex. They’re best when they’re together, able to compliment each the other’s personality well and bring out fun sides to them.
(Screenshot taken of a GIF set originally posted by @xkaitiannex)
6) So to get a job Alex walks into a store, bugs the manager (I’m assuming it’s the manager) and starts right away without an interview or training or even submitting a resumé.
(GIF originally posted by @beigency)
7) Okay, I first saw this when I was nine. I immediately called the uncle who married his dead brother’s widow as the bad guy because 1) Lion King and 2) creepy. Also now that I have more knowledge about certain things, I recognize that the name Thantos (that of the evil creepy uncle) is remarkably similar to Thanatos which is the greek personification of death.
Wait a second...this guy was on an episode of “Friends” I found on TV last night. Literally just last night. He played a male nurse. And there is no way I would have noticed that if that episode hadn’t literally been on 13 hours before now. Huh.
8) There is this nice internal conflict with Alex. She has this feeling of guilt over finding a new family and her biological mom when her mother passed away just three months ago (which is remarkably soon, I mean damn). But in all honestly she’s the only one who feels that way. She even blurts out at one point, “I’m not trying to replace my mom!” to Cam when that literally wasn’t part of the conversation they were having at all. It’s a nice bit of a drama to see play out.
9) I was pleasantly surprised by how witty some of these lines were.
Alex: “I’m driving in a Porsche with my twin sister. Magic truly seems to be the logical explanation.”
10) The sisters go from “oh my god, we have magic!” to accepting that and trying to control it REALLY quickly. I guess we have to keep things moving fast in an 86 minute movie.
11) I find the visuals behind Cam’s art to be really strong.
I know they probably didn’t have this in the budget, but I can’t help imagining the scene where Alex gives Coventry’s backstory would hve ben pretty great if they had incorporated this art style into it. Like the Deathly Hallows scenes in the seventh Harry Potter film.
12) So like the next three notes or so are about lines which I think are strong.
Cam [after opening her closet door and entering into Coventry]: “This is not my closet.”
Alex: “In a weird way I’m kinda relieved to hear that.”
13) I love this line, if only for the world implication buildings it has. But mostly because of how it takes a classic sci-fi/fantasy trope and sort of makes fun of it.
Illena: “Oh, the world has infinite dimensions. Well nine. Maybe nine-and-a-half.”
14) I’m Karsh in this situation.
Illena: “I wonder if we should’ve mentioned they’re marked for death.”
[Karsh looks at Illena like he’s on “The Office”.]
Karsh: “Why would we tell them that?”
15) Hey, did I mention Thantos is kinda creep yet? Well, if I haven’t...
Thantos [to his dead brother’s widow, who he’s married to]: “Even though I’ve never laid eyes on your daughters, I already love them as if they were my own.”
(GIF originally posted by @centralperksource)
16) Hey look, another line which is in here purely because I think it’s clever!
Illena [to Karsh, after walking through walls]: “I went through some 70s wallpaper that’s gonna emotionally scar me for life.”
Gonna be honest, that line had me laughing for a good couple of minutes.
17) So apparently Cam lives in a place called Waverly. She is a witch/wizard who lives in a Waverly place...
(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)
18) This is a Disney Channel Original Movie. You gotta have some cheesy dorky moments that feed right into whatever “SNL” makes fun of about this channel.
Cam [after both she and Alex call themselves Twitches]: “Twin!”
Alex: “Witches!”
Both: “Twitches!”
Roll credits!
19) So far most of the character conflict has been focused on Alex and the guilt she feels over finding a new family. Now we get to see Cam freaking out when things get a little too real for her.
Cam [after The Darkness tries to kill them]: “This was supposed to be fun! You know! Magic and sparkles and castles and unicorns!”
She runs off the first time trouble comes her way, ditching Alex to do so, because she’s never dealt with conflict in her life. She’s never dealt with anything bad in her world before. And she knows this is kinda crappy for her to do and she deals with that, but it’s important for her to face that fear and cower a little first before picking herself up by the bootstraps and moving forward.
20) So for a brief part of the film the Aly & AJ song “Rush” plays. That was my freaking jam as a kid. I like the darkness it has to it and the mystery and the sense of foreboding. I got major nostalgia when I heard it. Next to “Like Whoa” it was my favorite song of the sister-group.
And yes, I am now listening to “Rush” because of this recap.
21) I didn’t mention it before but I like the relationships both Alex and Cam have with their loved ones. The relationship with Cam’s parents specifically are a nice healthy alternative to the “rich girl is forced to meet standards by her parents” (this Kate Winslet in Titanic), instead giving us a relationship of love and humor and warmth.
Cam’s Dad [after Alex gives him a big bear hug and says how much she loves him]: “I don’t know if I’ve just been played or if that was one of those moments which makes parenting all worth while.”
Cam’s Mom: “Oh honey. [She kisses him on the cheek. Beat.] You’ve just been played.”
22) Similarly, the relationship Alex has with her best friend Lucinda has been really strong throughout the film. But Lucinda is very clearly feeling under appreciated by her friend, as this exchange was earlier in the film.
Lucinda: “You’re like family.”
Alex: “Like being the operative word.”
And then after Cam ditches Alex, Lucinda gets this wonderful bit of appreciation.
Alex: “The only person I can ever count on in my life is me.”
Lucinda: “Wow. You know that’s kind of a sucker punch for someone who just made you a birthday cake.”
When I was a kid I was disappointed that Lucinda didn’t show up in Twitches Too (no, I don’t own Twitches Too; so I’m only doing a recap for this one).
23) This message was surprisingly powerful for me. Maybe it’s because of the way the world is or because I wasn’t expecting it, but I think I’m going to hold it close from now on.
Cam’s Mom: “If there’s anything I know it’s that love is infinite. You can always make more when you need it.”
24) I might care more that Thantos was really The Darkness if they’d taken the time to develop him more. But again: 86 minute Disney Channel Original Movie; if it comes down between developing Thantos or the titular witches I’m glad they went with the latter.
25) Man, this WAS released in 2005. I dig it.
26) I’m a sucker for A+ sass game. Except I can’t decide who has the better sass here.
Thantos [to the twins’ biological mother]: “Sadly, you have nothing left.”
Cam: “That’s not true. She has us.”
Thantos: “Thank you, I stand corrected. Sadly, they’re all you have left.”
Alex: “Is he just asking to get slapped?”
27) I like that the final lesson of the film was not that evil is snuffed out with light but with love. I have issues with the trope of darkness = evil and light = good in all media, so while this film does fall into the former of darkness = evil I’m glad they decided that it is love - not light - that beats darkness. I think that’s a good idea to hold onto in this world.
Can I be honest? This was much more enjoyable than I thought it would be. Yes, it’s a Disney Channel Original Movie from 2005 so it’s no Harry Potter. BUT I found myself compelled by the relationship between the titular Twitches. Some of the humor was strong, the lesson of love was effective, and it was just a solid film. If you’re looking for a nostalgia trip, you could do a lot worse than Twitches.
#Twitches#Tia Mowry#Tamera Mowry#Disney Channel#Disney Channel Original Movie#Epic Movie (Re)Watch#Wizards of Waverly Place#Friends#Movie#Film#GIF
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BUNNI WATCHES RANDOM OUT OF ORDER SINNOH EPISODES THAT WERE LEFT ON THIS HARD DRIVE I GUESS
Today is diamond and pearl season one episode 28 "Drifloon On The Wind!"
Huh this one had a cold open showing the climactic moment from the end of the episode before it actually happened. Thats the first time i recall the anime doing that? I thougjt initially it was a flashback and i missed the first of a two parter.
Such a cool neat weird premise! A traditional pokemon centre out in the countryside! That adds so much worldbuilding to the setting! They never state it in the english dub but it seems to be a joke on a japanese onsen? (An inn built around hot springs) the archetecture just seems to be very similar, and from what i've seen in anime the "my mum and my mum's mum and my mum's mum's mum worked here" thing is a common trope. The nurse joy family is probably a joke to exaggerate it? Also i loved the scene where Brock is like "wait what the fuck this identical nurse joy is actually old enough to have a daughter ash's age and also OH NO A WEDDING RIIIIIING" And then he thankfully,blissfully GAVE UP and we had one nurse joy centric episode without him being a fuckboi. Seriously, the older you get the less funny you find brock, it sucks that the stuff that's meant to be over the top jokes is now barely more exaggerated than how some dudes act in real life. All you real life brocks, nobody finds you as charming as a fictional goofball! You're just rude! AND REAL BROCKS DONT HAVE A CROAGUNK TO STOP THEM
Anyway i LOVE the cute cottagey aesthetic pokemon center/hotel place! It seems the family mostly treats wild pokemon in the forest and they were actually so surprised to see customers that they thought they were burglars at first! And then daww ash and co help out doing chores to pay them back for the meal and bed even though the family is like 'no dude thats the duty of a pokemon centre'. I think that was a really mature moment for ash? He realized that this pokemon center gets less business than usual ones and figured he should give them a hand. And its so nice to see him being so super excited and wowed by the chores?? Like i mean its CHORES but for him its all so new cos its learning how to work in a pokemon center. Ash's best characrer trait is how his enthusiasm really has no limits, he'll go 100% be the best choremon master ever! Or maybe he was intentionalky being all THIS IS SO FUN because the joy daughters were fighting and he wanted to help cheer them up? In a lot of ways i prefer season 1's bratty egotistical sarcasm ash just cos he had more of a visible personality and you didnt have to sorta sleuth it out like this and always be left wondering whether they really meant to write nice-Ash this way or you're just imagining it. But when nice-Ash has monents like this he's way better and i just wish it hapoened more often and was 100% confirmed, yknow? Most of the time in sinnoh he feels less like nice-ash and more like nothing-ash or changes-every-day-into-whatever-the-plot-requires-him-to-be-ash. But in sun and moon season they have all those more slice of lifey and emltional plots and he's the more nicer ash that i always wanted, and i love it!
Anyway lol im going wildly off topic. Also fun fact i spell "the" wrong so much that "tge" is the first result in my autocorrect now...
Another thing i like is that these Joys seem to be a ghost type specialist family? The kids have a big pile of drifloon cuties and when the gang first arrived they saw a bunch of happy gastlys enjoying their stay at the inn. I like to think maybe all the ghosts they have are "drifty" types like that? I feel that the writers ppicked gastly cos the pokedex entry saying they blow away on the wind like drifloon. Cos this is actually the valley windworks adaptation episode! That was such a nice surprise when it turned out momma joy's husband was the windmill electrician guy!! He looks SO cute in the anime too! He's really chubby and has such a nice round face with a button nose and big anime eyes and a cute turquoise jacket electrician uniforn thing. And he's funny and goofy with his kids and very caribg and cautious about letting them ride home alone in the bad weather, and also he's a GIANT BADASS with an ampharos that thunderpunches the shit out of team rocket and defeats them before ash can even get there lol! Actually they never show what momma joy's main pokemon is? I like to think maybe its a gengar cos thats the most chansey-ish ghost type. And also itd mean the chubby guy has a tall and thin pokemon and his tall and thin wife has a chubby pokemon. Theyre such a cute couple so itd be even cuter!
Oh and i forgot to mention that everyone travels around via drifloon??? Thats so surreal when you consider their pokedex entries saying them carrying children is a bad thing that means theyre kidnapoing them. Like, they domesticated a very dangerous pokemon and now it uses its dangerousness for the powers of good instead! Maybe its just the anime censoring a scary thing or maybe it was intentional to show how badass this momma joy is that she could tame so many spoopy ghosts that everyone thinks are pure evil? Seriously i LOVE how they show this family working to protect and heal the local wild pokemon and them all being super friendly to humans because of it. And it makes sense theyd be ghost tyoe trainers cos if youre befriending all the pokemon in a forest youre bound to find a few lost souls. Mountains and forests are like the deadliest areas for travellers so mountain forests especially so! Everyone's lucky they have this badass family team watching over the area like guardian spirits~
OH SPEAKING OF WHICH
I forgot to mention that the main conflict of the episode is that the joy sisters have a fight because the older sister is a bit overprotective and dismissive of her little sister, causing her to be reckless and get lost trying to "be grown up and help mommy". And in the end the big sister rescues her with the help of the guardian spirit of the hot springs and they reconcile their differences and have big cute hugs! Its all very well written and dramatic actually.i really felt for the older sister's determination to save her, and i felt it was a good case of a conflict where both of them were wrong and both made mistakes and it was just like they coulda avoided those mistakes if they talked it out better. And both of them had a point at the same time, yknow? So it didnt end with either of them losing the argument or anything, it was more like the lesson is just to appreciate your siblings while theyre there and also talk about your problems in clear language with younger kids instead of using excuses like "you just cant, cos im older and i said so".
Oh also SUICUNE!
The super onsen spirit is suicune?? The little sister just casually mentions her biggest best friend in the forest is suicune and is surprised when ash says its a legendary! Wow thats actually a really cool idea? You wouldnt necessarily think of it cos you kinda think of hot springs for the hot part but theyre also a sort of super clean water like how suicune is meant to be able to purify polluted lakes. Maybe it came here to make its nest cos places that are already purified are comforting to someone who wanders the earth blasting stinky water with its powers every day. I like to think maybe this is the same suicune from Generations where they said the legendary beasts are roaming legendaries because humans treated them as demons when they first walked out of the ashes, and now theyre still scared of us even centuries later. Itd be sad if they literally kept running forever, so i like to think they all have a comforting spot to sleep in, somewhere. And for suicune its this little isolated lake in the sinnoh region which used to be super far away from human civilization. But then this family's ancestors built this hospital here and suicune was initially like "oh no my house is ruined" but then it saw that these humans were helping protect tge forest pokemon too. So its like "ah fellow coworkers" and theyre the only humans it trusts. And whenever theyre in trouble it sneakily helps them and dashes away before it can be seen, but one day it got unlucky and the kids saw it and now OH NO it is stuck havibg CUTE TINY FRIENDS! I bet the littlest joy just treats suicune like a big puppy, and this great noble beast of legend plays along because it loves her so much. But if anyone else sees it demeaning itself with a game of fetch, it would be Total Social Death In The Legendaries Club
Anyway there's some cute moments of Emotionally Wise Kind Ash The Best Of All Ashes where he finds the lost little-joy and he tries to cheer her up when she's scared by the storm and keep her dry from the rain. And he has absolute faith that his friends will come to save them both! The only thing i think coukd have maybe made it better is if the big sister joy didnt beleive in suicune? Cos it just ends with her going to ask suicune for help and then suicune helps. There's a lack of tension cos you know suicune could easily resolve all this and you already know suicune is real cos the lil sis says that big sis told her to keep it a secret cos its a Big Deal and Bad People Could Take Suicune Away and stuff. Like it might have worked better if the big sis thought that little sis was just making up rumours to be all boastful, or playing with an imaginary friend. Then her going to ask suicune for help would have symbolized something, yknow? And the audience might have been tense about whether it was real or not.
But even without that added suggestion it was still a great episode! Lots of cuteness, emotionalness, familyness and a few great jokes along the way! Also i just loved them giving unique character designs and a full backstory to these minor npcs from the game. Whenever i play it now i'm totally gonna headcanon this all as true! I mean all we know about the daughter character in the game is that she says "papa youre stinky but i still love you" and that feels very in character for the slightly mischievious little sis joy that we meet in this episode. Though you only see the one daughter and she acts like she hasnt caught a drifloon yet and dreams of seeing it if you can fix the windmill problems so it'll come back. So maybe the game version takes place a little before the anime? Like, that daughter is the engineer dad's daughter from a previous relationship and the older daughter is joy's daughter from a previous relationship. And i dunno maybe lil daughter's hair colour actually is the generic npc brown from the games but she begged her momma to dye it so she could match. Like she just loves her new momma and sister so much!! And now the struggling mountain poke-center is doing better because both parents work difderent jobs now and have enough money combined to be able to keep the family in a better quality of life. And maybe the team galactic incident at the valley windworks got it a bit of publicity as a tourist destination? and after the daughter caught that drifloon everyone who visited was like GOSH ITS SO CUTIE and the dad was like "yes our special windmill attracts these pokemon that are normally only found high up on the mountains, speaking of which my wife runs an inn up there and you can go on pokemon wildlife tours to see them in their natural habitat!" And just I LOVE THESE GUYS AND I WANT THEM TO HAVE ALL THE SUCCESS IN THEIR LIFE!! There is NOTHING better than "hey we're adapting this gane what should we do?" "Add MORE FAMBLY" Like oh my god whoever had that wonderful idea should be promoted!
Thus ends bunni's disjointed review of FAMBLY EPISODE
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Congratulations, Cee! You have been accepted for the role of Zeke Hawker (FC: Jack Dylan Grazer). This was another really tough decision, and we truly thank the both of you for your applications! We love how deeply you got into his mind, his likes and dislikes, his snarkiness balanced with a touch of insecurity and a dash of healthy egotism. He’ll be a delight to have running around town! Please have a look at this page prior to sending in your account.
OUT OF CHARACTER
Name: Cee
Age: 20
Pronouns: She/her
Timezone: GMT+10
Activity estimation: I’m currently studying full-time again, so I should be able to post IC every 2-3 days easily, depending on my muse. Even if I’m not writing, I’m usually able to be around to plot almost every day! When I know I’ll be pressed for time due to deadlines or exams, I’ll request a semi- or full hiatus.
Triggers: N/A
IN CHARACTER
Full name: Ezekiel “Zeke” Hawker
Age (DD/MM/YYY): 13 (07/01/1983); Capricorn sun, Gemini moon, Libra rising
Gender: Cis male
Pronouns: He/him
Sexuality: N/A
Occupation: Student
Connection to Victim: Brian was one of them. He has no idea how such a quiet kid managed to weave his way so easily into an already tight-knit group, but it happened. Zeke wonders if it was because of him being in the same baseball team introduced Brian to the group. Whatever it was, he’s never found himself doubting whether Brian could be part of the friendship – and he doubts plenty of things.
Alibi: Zeke was watching the other baseball games. With his game finished (and most of it spent sulking on the bench with Brian reluctantly lending an ear), he’d chosen to stay a while longer that afternoon. Sometime between the matches, he’d made a quick trip down to the Piggly Wiggly with ten dollars he’d mooched off Abel for candy and chips with a few other kids on his team who were still around. At around four-thirty he picked up his bag, shrugged on a crewneck and walked home from the pitch. A teammate’s parent offered him a ride home, and he gratefully took it. He was dropped off at the front doorstep and went straight inside.
Faceclaim: Jack Dylan Grazer
WRITING SAMPLE
“Nope. That’s not it.”
Dust motes float languidly around him in the muted daylight that spills from the attic window, stagnant in mid-July air. A hand retreats from the cardboard box he’d finished rifling through, a messy stack of books and trinkets set back in their rightful place. To find a hint, anything about his parents, shouldn’t have been this hard to find. This was a trope of every movie; people kept unwanted things in the attic, not the basement. Too predictable. He thinks so, anyway and although this was real life and not some Spielberg blockbuster, it was close enough. Zeke had forgotten about the graze from another failed skating attempt that spans the base of his knee when he kneels down to store it away. A slight wince crinkling his face, he pushes it back to the spot on the boarding that’s a stark brown against the thin grey that covers the floor. Like nobody would know he’s ever been there. He dusts his hands on his shorts, but not before he’s rubbed his face and splutters from a cobweb across his nose. “Gross.”
Over cereal that morning, he’d asked again. Over a sugary bowl of whole milk-laden Cheerios, Abel consumed by today’s newspaper and soft radio masking the quiet that settled over the house, he wondered if there was anything else to be told about his mother or father. And just as his grandfather always did, it was a stock-standard answer of no, not really, there’s nothing remarkable to tell. As if he hadn’t missed out on the ordinary things already. And besides, isn’t it much more worthwhile to focus on the present?
“Focus on the present, my ass,” Zeke mutters to himself now, free arm outstretched to tear away a frayed edge of packing tape run across cardboard. In heavy marker, the next box is labelled 1971. A good decade before he’d come into existence, kicking and screaming. “Huh.” With limited options for company, it’d become nothing short of normal to talk to himself. Small comments of wonderment as he came across a particularly impressive fact in a book.
Backhanded remarks as he resigned himself to watching The Bold and the Beautiful when nothing exciting was on television. Once, while they watched television after school, Josh had said he bugged out for doing that, laughter mingling with the taunt. Whatever. You try living in a giant house with just your grandpa, Zeke retorted. The Sunday visits Josh came along for were far different from living there week in, week out. Sundays were warm and bright. Cheerful, even. Once that rolled past, it fell back into the same monotony of school and baseball and homework, all tied together neatly with a rigid lights-out by nine sharp. To focus on the present was a joke.
A soft tug pulls the tape away easily. It’s left crumpled up beside him, gathered together in his fist before being dropped to the floor. He’s hasty to uncover the contents. Just like the last one, it’s packed meticulously. Like Tetris. The cover of the top photo album is worn in one spot, thumbed over by countless hands. He’s careful when he lifts it out and sets it on his lap, even more gentle with the plastic covers that run over the already faded photos.
So he sets to work. He’s learned to search out that face, the same way he skim-reads the chapter of a book assigned for reading he’s put off until the night before. Even if the only reference he relies on is faded, the photograph tattered and dog-eared in one corner from being stuffed in his jacket pocket to show his friends, the features are clear as day when Zeke pores over the images one by one. The disappointment’s sour in his mouth when he’s gone through it with no luck. The photos are beautiful, filled with smiling memories and yet, all devoid of his parents.
Beads of sweat across his upper lip, cotton shirt glued to the spot between his shoulder blades, another hour passes of searching through the storage boxes. He gives up eventually, when he’s graced with that same unpleasant taste. Mingled with that, though, is something else. An idea that perhaps there’re better places to look than right under the nose.
ANYTHING ELSE?
Zeke equates knowledge with adulthood. Maturity. Being a grown-up with a monotonous office job, fibre cereal and the drone of a television. Or used to. Brian’s disappearance has confirmed his suspicions – that it isn’t quite the case. The cops figured out who snuffed Phillip Silverman all those years ago pretty quickly, right? Or so some of them claimed. So, why’s it so hard to put a finger on who kidnapped Brian? The manhunts have gone on drearily, ended with no real certainty. Nobody’s a step closer to finding his friend. All grown-ups seem to do about it is croon in gossip over a diner booth table or spare an infinitesimal glance at the Crime Stoppers posters plastered on each utility pole downtown. He’s become distrusting, and quick. Whatever valiant spearheading people take up of the manhunt and the newfangled mystery of Brian appears self-serving. That there’s a few brownie points to score for next Sunday’s service, or a nice spot on the front page to print their mug across for stumbling across the next clue. If grown-ups cared, what reason is there to be so hush-hush when he asks questions? Zeke doesn’t want to think only the worst will happen. But if the adults are getting nowhere, he’s brought it up in hushed conversation with his friends that maybe, maybe, there’s a better chance of them getting to the bottom of it.
It’s well-known that Zeke isn’t great at making friends. Scratch that – he’s awful at it. Was his father, with all those vices, like that as well? It isn’t that kids don’t want to be friends with him because of his admittedly unconventional family. Whose only parent is their grandpa? But that’s never been so strange to set him apart far enough to be the black sheep. Jealousy has kept him from making friends. Until he reconciles with the fact, he supposes there’ll always be a quiet anger simmering at the back of his throat. It’s an uncomfortable sensation that makes its home in his chest, knowing that he won’t have a mom or dad to take (somewhat reluctant) photos of him on a birthday, on the first day of school or at a family gathering with a scowl plastered to his face. Those are things he’ll never be able to replicate, with Abel occupied by work and the belief that rules in place of his company are enough to raise a kid. He’s long become familiar with that yucky twinge when kids mention their families. He’s never had the luxury of saying My mom took me to go watch Independence Day in Lansing last weekend, or Hey, my dad came to see me score in little league, isn’t that cool! No, it’s been quiet admissions of frustration to Andrew when Abel has skirted a question on his father with the same lacklustre, manufactured answer journalists get when they shove a microphone in his face for the millionth time. To have answers is an itch he constantly finds himself having to scratch.
Apparently, his name means “God will strengthen”. Impressive. Except he despises going to church, enough to almost call himself an atheist, though he’s uttered a prayer or two in the last week when the worry really gets to him. Please, God, find Brian. Keep him safe, bring him home. It’s a nice way to swallow the nerves down, but not much else. He’s more interested in picking up a science book rather than the Bible, adamant about his excuses to weasel his way out of Sunday service but the effort is often pipped every time. Elaborate stories are quickly becoming his new forte. They’re just not quite good enough to get him out of that scratchy button-down and slacks too short at the ankle from his last growth spurt. At least he doesn’t have to go to those prayer groups Abel attends. While he can chalk it down to tradition and old habits, he’s never quite understood why Abel’s put much of his time and energy into it. He’s funny about it, too. Not funny as in it’s an innocent hobby, but funnyfunny. Funny where, if Zeke holds him up with a badly-timed question right as he’s about to step out the door or makes an offhand (and most definitely deliberate) remark that he might as well live at the church with the group, his face becomes stony. While he has quietened down about it, as far as his grandfather’s concerned, he’s determined to ask around elsewhere.
Sometimes, Zeke entertains the idea of asking if he can live at Ken and Aisha’s house. It makes sense. Their car often rumbles in the driveway to pick him up for school or to take him to a county fair. It feels much more familial. He worries that he’s a burden on Abel, that he’ll never properly connect with him as a son should. He’s come home with a busted lip and bruised pride from smart-mouthing bullies enough times to make anyone sigh with exasperation rather than concern. It’s not as if resisting the status quo at home, rules laid down like the law, helps his case either. His uncle and aunt’s home is welcoming. Smaller and cosier and warmer, always filled with chatter or laughter or radio. Abel’s house is huge. Silent, most of the time. When bad weather’s in, the windows rattle and wind shrieks around the corners, making it feel far emptier than it already is, which is no easy feat. To busy himself, Zeke got into the habit of reading and video games. Once he’d mowed his way through the fiction in the reading room, he quickly became hooked on non-fiction. There’s a haphazard stack of books on his bedside table at all times, switched out every week or so. He didn’t mind playing Actua Soccer for a while, until it reminded him of just how terrible he is at sport. Zeke likes to pick up new hobbies. It’s given him a wealth of new knowledge; new facts to ring off. Or when he needs to prove a point. He even tried to skate for a while. Eventually, he got sick of the bruises and grazed knees and Andrew’s bemused remarks. From stargazing to photography to origami, it’s a good way to pass the time.
When it comes to music, he’s pretentious. Zeke considers himself an indie aficionado – he’ll go for an underground station rather than the commercial pop garbage that plays on the radio. Most of his mixtapes are painstakingly curated, filled to the brim with Pavement, Mazzy Star, The Cure, Soul Coughing. Weird stuff. It’s made him consider picking up music, save for the fact that he can’t carry a tune to save himself. Tone deaf, that’s it. He won’t dare admit that he doesn’t understand half of the songs, lacking the life experience to even do so, but he’ll certainly make it seem like he does.
He has no idea why he keeps on with baseball. Most of his time at practice and games is spent cracking jokes and trading interests with Brian on the bench, ignoring the tinny sound of a bat and the shuffle of feet, the cheers from onlookers. Coach says he’d be good at the game, only if he paid attention. Deep down, Zeke has an urge to master everything. It distracts him easily. New things pop up to command his attention and in the blink of an eye, he’s moved on. He’s not scatterbrained, though. Just selective. He knows where to allocate his time. Ideally, he wants to be a jack of all trades, well-rounded and good at school and sports and small talk, though he hasn’t gotten any of them down pat. Too much of a smartass for teachers to really like him, too clumsy with his motor skills that he drops the ball half the time, enough lip and a tendency to curse that makes most kids reel, his friends included. But he’s trying to be better. It’s a quiet effort; one that won’t happen overnight. He cares about his friends deeply, even if it is masked by a habitual urge to squabble and brazen ideas that elicit eye rolls rather than impressed gasps. One day, though, he’ll come up with something good. Something spectacular.
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