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ladyreapermc · 4 years

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Fic: Treat me like your boyfriend (Matt x fem!Reader)

Summary: when Matt asked you to tutor him, you weren’t aware of the mess you were about to step in.

Author’s notes: Dear anon, I’m sorry it took me so long, but your request is finally here and I hope you enjoy it. I was very rusty on writing teenagers and I definitely struggled with the love triangle aspect.

Wordcount: 6430 (yeah, it took a life of its own)

Warnings: a bit of teenage angst, mentions of drugs, bad language, but that’s it

The last thing you were expecting to see when you got out of cheerleading practice was Matt leaning on the hood of your car like he belonged there, arms crossed behind his head, face tilted up, almost as if to soak up the last warm sun rays of that October morning.

You didn’t even remember the last time you actually saw Matt, let along talked to him. Yes, you went to the same school but traveled in completely different circles and he wasn’t all the good with attendance, especially not after what happened last year with Samson and Jamie.

Once upon a time however, the two of you had been great friends. All through elementary school and a considerable part of middle school, the two of you had been inseparable, but then his father left and his family life deteriorated and he became angry and closed off and the two of you drifted apart. Now here he was, and you had no idea why.

“That’s my car,” you said, making him crack one eye open to look at you.

“I’m aware,” he replied but didn’t move an inch and you sighed.

“What do you want, Matt?”

“Oh, so you actually remember who I am. That’s nice.” This time at least he sat up on the hood, looking you up and down with a smirk tucked on his lips.

“What. Do. You. Want?” you repeated with a glare, crossing your arms over your chest and you noticed Matt’s gaze shift, the tough guy mask slipping a bit and you could almost see the boy you used to know.

“I’m failing history,” Matt admitted in a low voice, eyes downcast. “I’m on probation. I can’t fail. I need you to tutor me.”

“No,” you said, pulling the passenger door of your car open so you could put your backpack away. “I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?” he asked, giving you a look. “Afraid of what your popular friends will think if they see you hanging out with someone like me?”

There was a barely disguised disdain in his tone and it made you feel guilty. Even if you didn’t like to admit it, it was one of the reasons but there was also the fact that between school, practice and your part-time job, free time was almost inexistent for you. Even your boyfriend Derek had been complaining about not seeing you enough.

“I really can’t. I’m sorry,” you sighed.

“Please, Skittles,” he said, and you snorted at the old and ridiculous nickname after your favorite candy. “You’re my only hope.”

“Fine!” You huffed, taking a second to think through your schedule. “Tomorrow at 4. Joe’s diner. Do you know?”

“Yeah.” Matt flashed you a gorgeous smile as he jumped off the hood of your car and your lips twitched up too. “Thank you! You’re really saving my life here.”

“I know. So, don’t be late or I won’t do it.”

---

As you cleared the tables at the restaurant, you couldn’t help but glance at the clock on the wall and heave a sigh. It was fifteen past four and Matt had yet to show up for his lesson. You should’ve known he would flake out. He barely showed up to school as it was, why would he bother to come for a tutoring lesson?

You rolled your eyes at your own stupidity. You had to rearrange your whole work schedule, changing shifts with one of your coworkers so you could tutor Matt here while Derek was at football practice.

It wasn’t as if you thought you were doing something wrong by seeing Matt or anything stupid like that, but you knew Derek would freak if he found out you were hanging out with the other boy. Your boyfriend was a little overprotective sometimes and he always thought Matt and his entire clique were delinquents. You just wanted to avoid the hassle, so you kept the entire thing from him. Not that there would be anything to tell since Matt stood you up.

The small bell above the entry door of the diner rang and you looked up to see Matt stepping inside, sweaty and out of breath as he looked around. His expression drew into that gorgeous smile when his gaze landed on you.

He had changed quite a lot from the lanky boy you had known back in middle school. For one, he had gotten considerably taller and muscles had filled him out quite nicely. He had grown out his hair and it framed his face in messy waves, but it really suited him.

“Hey! Sorry, I’m late. Bus took forever,” he explained and you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him to turn around and leave.

“That’s ok. Just grab a booth and I’ll be right with you,” you said, hands busy with a tray of steaming plates.

He grinned and obeyed, ignoring the stink eye he was getting from some of the customers. His outfit screamed outcast and he stuck out like a sore thumb in the traditional diner.

You moved to the table to deliver the orders, sending a silent prayer that there wasn’t anyone you knew in the diner before calling out that you’d be taking your break and sliding on the seat across from Matt.

“So where are you having trouble? Classic? Medieval? Modern?”

“Everything.” Matt took out a crumpled paper from his backpack, handing it to you. It was one of his tests and the bright red F made you wince.

“Ok,” you sighed, returning the paper to him. “Then I guess we start at the beginning,” you took hold of his textbook and opened in the first chapter. “Take notes. I’m not gonna repeat myself and there will be pop quizzes.”

“Alright,” he said combing his hair away from his eyes. He pulled out a notebook that was falling apart and a pen that seemed to be completed chewed out. “Oh! I almost forgot…” he dug through his backpack until he came out with a package of skittles, pushing towards you with a smile. “As a thank you for helping me.”

You smiled too as you ripped the package open popping a couple of candies on your mouth before shaking a few on his waiting hand.

“Let’s begin.”

----

“I can’t believe you’re skipping Shelley’s party! It’s like the event of the year!” Dana exclaimed, pulling a face at you and you rolled her eyes. To your friend and head of the cheerleader squad, every party was the event of the year.

“It’s not like I’m skipping on purpose,” you replied, trying to find a better position against Derek, who had his arm around your shoulders. You usually loved to be cuddled up like this. But when you were in the middle of the cafeteria trying to have lunch using only one hand it was kind of hindrance. “I have to work.”

Unlike Dana and Derek who’s parents paid for everything they could possibly want, your father was a police officer that worked his ass off to keep your house functioning so you had to work to buy the things that you needed that weren’t his priorities. Your car needed repairs and you had your eye on a dress for homecoming dance that would cost you almost a month’s salary.

“Can’t you change shifts or something?” Derek asked with a pout and you had to fight a grimace. The only reason you had to work at the time of Shelley’s party was that you had changed your hours so you could tutor Matt.

“I’ll just go to the next one,” you replied with a small, apologetic smile, but it wasn’t enough to soothe Derek if his sour expression was anything to go by.

“Fine!” Dana huffed, throwing her long hair over her shoulder, her eyes shifting to a point beyond your shoulder, her expression shifting into one of distaste. “The creeper is staring at you again.”

You glanced back to see Matt sitting alone a couple of tables over. As soon as he noticed you looking, he quickly lowered his gaze back to the book in front of him his hair falling over his eyes, so he had to comb it back with his fingers.

“Someone’s got an admirer,” Dana teased with an evil smirk. “A killer admirer.”

“He didn’t kill anyone, Dana,” you replied in autopilot.

You had been spending at least three afternoons a week with Matt for the past month and the two of you had grown closer again. It was almost as if the time you two hadn’t spoken for didn’t even exist.

Matt was still an angry guy. You could see in the bursts of irritation he sometimes would get when he messed up an answer or when people were being deliberately judgy of him at the diner or when talking about the crappy deal he got in life and with his family. Other than that, he was as sweet as you remembered. Also funny and kind and you loved spending time with him. Around him, you could be as nerdy and weird as you wanted because he never judged you. It was liberating really.

“And how would you know?” Derek asked with a frown of confusion.

You knew because your dad had been one of the officers involved in the case, but also because Matt told you how the entire thing had gone down.

“My dad worked the case,” you said with a shrug. “And besides, I don’t think they would let him be here if he had actually killed anyone.”

“Still, I don’t like the idea of him watching you,” he said, glaring over his shoulder. “If he comes anywhere near you…”

“He won’t, Der. Don’t worry,” you assured, distracting him with a kiss, before getting up. “I gotta go. I have to deliver an essay to Mr. Sheppard for extra credit.”

You managed to get to the hallway outside the cafeteria before Derek caught up, pulling you back into his arms.

“Baby, you have enough extra credit to buy an entire university at this point,” Derek said with a pout and you chuckled. “I barely get to see you anymore.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry,” you said, pecking him on the lips. “Tonight. After my shift. Swing by? My dad won’t be home until later.”

“Ok.” he smiled happily and just as you were about to step away he pulled you back once more, catching you into a longer, deeper kiss that had your knees weak and you grinning against his lips. “I see you tonight.”

You were still smiling as you headed off, not towards Mr. Sheppard’s office, but to the football field, where you met Matt by the bleachers. He has a forlorn look on his face and that was enough to make your good mood flight right out of you.

“How was it?” you asked, and he sighed, digging through his backpack.

It was his first test since you two started the tutoring lessons. You hoped they had been enough to make him improve because you could tell Matt was getting frustrated with everyone pounding on him about his grades and probation.

He handed you the folded paper and it made your heart thunder in your heart just as much as getting the results of your own tests did.

“Look, Matt, it is just the first test,” you started before even looking at the grade. “It’s ok if it isn’t a good one just yet. We’ll keep working on it and you’ll see…” you trailed off as you finally looked at the test, the C+ staring back at you and when you looked up at him, Matt had a cheeky little grin in his face.

“You jerk!” You exclaimed punching him on the shoulder as he laughed. “You really made me think…”

“I’m sorry!” he said between giggles, trying to dodge your hands. “You’re just so damn easy, Skittles!” Matt looked so good like this. Bright and happy and playful. It made your heart jump.

“I’m really proud of you,” you said pulling him for a hug, your face coming to the crook of his neck due to the height difference and you breathed deep into his scent without meaning to.

“Thanks,” he replied with a soft smile when you pulled back. “Can you help me with Math too?”

“Absolutely!”

---

Even though it was your day off, here you were at Joe’s diner, in the booth it was quickly becoming yours and Matt’s regular seats. Instead of sitting across from him, you were at his side, studying his profile as he frowned over the math problem you had presented him.

You watched as his untamable hair fell over his face and you resisted the urge to push back so you could better look at him, watch the way his brows knitted together in concentration and how he squinted his soft brown eyes at the page, nose crinkling slightly in displeasure as he tapped the pen against his lips, which were framed by a shadow of stubble, just like his sharp jawline… Shifting in your seat, you forced your gaze away, taking a drink of water.

After two months all employees and regular clients at the diner got used to Matt’s presence and no one even gave the two of you a second glance anymore, which was a small blessing. You finally managed to relax around him when Matt came around, which meant you caught yourself staring at him way too often while he worked, your mind wondering dangerous things, like if his hair was as soft as it looked or how Matt’s lips would feel against yours.

Those thoughts always filled you with guilt because you had a boyfriend. A nice, kind and sweet boyfriend that you loved, and you shouldn’t be thinking such things about Matt when he was your friend and you were in a relationship and…

“Got it!”

His excited tone startled you back to the present and you watched as he scribbled down on the page before he turned it to you with a bright, hopeful smile and your heart leaped in your chest as you got caught in those brown eyes for a second too long.

Clearing your throat and feeling your cheeks warm, you looked down at the notebook to check his answer, your lips twitching into a proud smile.

“That’s exactly it,” you declared, looking up at Matt again and his lips now showed a wide grin as he cheered and threw an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a sideways hug.

“You owe me fries and a milkshake,” Matt said, still grinning and you snorted.

“If I’d known that was all it took for you to learn math, I’d have done it weeks ago,” you joked waving at one of the waitresses to place your order, trying to pretend you weren’t acutely aware of the fact the Matt hadn’t taken his arm away from your shoulders and you really didn’t want him too.

“So, there’s a movie with that guy from that sci-fi movie you like in the theaters,” Matt said, his tone a little hesitant as the two of you sipped milkshakes and shared fries.

“That’s specific,” you chuckled, noticing how he seemed to blush a little. “Fortunately, I do know which one you’re talking about. I’m dying to see it.”

“Yeah?” Matt looked up; eyes bright with excitement. “Maybe we could go? Together, I mean.”

For a moment, all you could do was stare at Matt in stunned silence. Was he asking you out on a date? And why on Earth did you want to say yes so bad?

“As friends, of course,” he quickly added, and you could barely hide your disappointment. His own words and the way he avoided your eyes showed his chagrin.

“Maybe, but…” you sighed, looking away, the words stuck to your throat.

“I get it, Skittles,” Matt said, at last, gathering his things, head ducked as he stood up. “Thanks for the lesson.”

He was off and away from the diner before you even process what happened. Your eyes burned and you could taste bile and guilt on the back of your throat as you swallowed around the painful lump, before picking up your bag and standing up.

Suddenly being in the diner without Matt felt unbearable.

----

Derek’s lips traveled down your neck, his weight pressing you down on the bed as his hand squeezed your thigh, inching dangerously close to the hem of your skirt. This was hardly the first time you’ve done this, touch each other like this and he was doing everything you loved but it just felt awkward and uncomfortable.

You couldn’t bring yourself to relax and your mind kept wandering to all the wrong places. You couldn’t help but picture a slender frame on top of you, instead of broad chest chiseled by years of football practice. Dark brown hair instead of light, almost blonde hair. Scratchy stubble instead of a smooth cheek. Deep chocolate eyes, instead of hazel…

“Wait, wait,” you asked, pushing at Derek's chest and he sighed, lifting his head to look at you.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know.” You looked away, afraid of giving yourself away. “I just… I don’t feel like it tonight.”

“Ok.”

Derek sat up on the bed, running his hand through his hair, another heavy sigh escaping his lips and you could see frustration shining in his eyes. Not because you said no, but because he had been picking up the change in your mood for days now and he could figure out what was wrong and you couldn’t exactly come forward and explain it either.

“Do you wanna go downstairs and watch a movie or something?”

You shrugged and your gaze darted around your room because you couldn’t bear to look at Derek. It landed on an unopen bag of skittles.

Matt always brought you some whenever you were tutoring him so there was always one around and you felt like the most horrible person in the world. Here you were with such a sweetheart for a boyfriend, but your mind kept shifting over for the last person you should get involved with.

“I have homework to finish,” you said instead, guilt gnawing your gut.

You knew Derek knew you were lying, but he still got up, picking up his leatherman jacket as he headed out of your room without another word. No goodbye, no kiss or hug. Just silence that felt heavy and awful and made you flop on your bed, tears welling in your eyes.

What was wrong with you? Why were you ruining life that you had spent most of your high school years building because of a guy? Who you didn’t even know liked you back?

----

You were fresh from your shower after cheerleader practice, hair still wet and hanging loose over your shoulders when you walked up to your locker to grab your chemistry book and found the note.

With a smile, you didn’t even bother to look it over, knowing what it said. Instead, you just shoved inside your pocket, while you pushed your book into your backpack, before rushing off. You had only fifteen minutes before class and the bleachers were on the other side of the school.

As expected, Matt was waiting in the familiar hiding spot, puffing on a cigarette that he put out as soon as he saw you, since he knew you hated the smoke. His smile was wide and bright and enough to make you grin because he was holding a sheet of paper and you knew exactly what that was.

“An A!” he announced, showing you his latest history test. “I got a fucking A!”

“That’s amazing, Matt! Congratulations!” you cheered all but jumping in his arms for a hug and he caught you easily. Tucking you closer to his chest.

“I haven’t gotten an A since middle school,” he commented with a grin, looking down at you. “Thank you so much, Skittles.”

“Don’t thank me. It was all you,” you said, meeting his eyes.

You were still wrapped in his arms, your gaze locked with his and there was something there that made your breath catch in your throat and your heart speed in your chest. You saw the way Matt’s gaze felt to your lips, before coming up to your eyes again and all you wanted was for him to close the distance, press his lips against yours. You actually thought he was going to do it until you hear someone clearing their throat behind you and jumped back and away from Matt.

When you turned around to look, Dana stood there, hands on her hips, green eyes narrowed as she glared at you, lips pressed in a tight, displeased line. Panic flooded your chest because there was no way to explain what was happening except with the truth and you knew how Dana felt about cheating.

There was no other way to spin it, was there? You were cheating on Derek. Or at least you were about to if Dana hadn’t walked in when she did.

You looked back at Matt and he looked pale and worried as his gaze darted from you to your best friend. Lying a gentle hand on his shoulder, his eyes meet yours. When did the two of you become so good at communicating with just one look, you didn’t know, but Matt just nodded, grabbed his things and walked away.

“Of all the guys in this school, you’re doing this with psycho stoner Matt?” Dana exclaimed and you winced, not sure what was worse: the shrill tone of her voice or her words.

“He’s not a psycho!” you defended almost on autopilot. If anyone was being the asshole in this whole situation, it was you and Matt didn’t deserve to be treated that way. “It’s just happened. I never meant…”

You rubbed your eyes, fighting against the wave of tears. All the confusion and doubt and guilt bubbling to the forefront and words poured out of you as you told Dana everything, how it started, how your feelings began to change, until the scene she witnessed today.

“Do you love Derek?” she asked, her expression softening, becoming understanding. This was why Dana was your best friend. No matter her shortcomings, she was a good person.

“I, uh, yeah?” you replied with hesitation, tone uncertain. You did love Derek right? You’ve been together since freshman year and he was such a great guy.

“It’s fine if you don’t,” Dana said, but her expression was a little sad. Derek was her brother after all. “People fall out of love. And I will never understand what you see in Matt of all people, but you can’t lead them on. Either cut Matt lose or break up with Derek.”

“I know,” you sighed, drying your cheeks because you did know and that’s why this was so hard for you. “I just need time to think. Make a decision.”

“One week,” Dana said, crossing her arms over her chest, her expression turning stormy. “After that, I’m telling Derek.”

All you managed was a nod.

----

Sitting on your usual booth at Joe’s diner, you drummed your fingers on the wooden table, your knee bouncing trying to work out some of the restless nervous energy thrumming through you as you waited for him.

A week had passed since your conversation with Dana and you finally made your decision. Surprisingly it took a conversation with your father to clear the air for you. It had been just the two of you since your mom died and even if he didn’t exactly know how to talk to you since you entered adolescence, he always tried.

So when he came back from his shift one night and found you bawling your eyes out, he sat you down on the couch and made you tell him everything that was going on. He had noticed you hadn’t been quite yourself lately and that night was the moment he figured he had given you enough space and it was time to be there.

You told him everything, just like you had done with Dana. Your dad was less than thrilled to know that you had been spending so much time with Matt without him knowing, but at the same time, he had worked the case, he knew Matt had been the only one in that group with a tiny shred of decency. He was, after all, the one who called the cops once he learned about Jamie.

“Sweetheart,” your father started, brushing away the tears from your face. “I won’t tell you what to do, but…”

“But what?” you sniffled, looking at him, vision blurry.

“The fact that you even fell in love with Matt while dating Derek says a lot, don’t you think?” he said in a low tone, his words making your heart ache.

“You’re right,” you whispered, letting out a shaky breath. “Thanks, dad.”

“I’m always here for you, sweetie,” he replied, kissing you on the forehead before letting you go.

That had been last night. After you washed your face and recomposed yourself more or less, you went to Derek’s. It was an awful conversation to have and you felt horrible for breaking his heart like that, but it wasn’t fair to him or you continue the way you were.

You barely slept and the first thing you did when you got to school was put a note on Matt’s locker, asking him to meet you at the diner after school. You had no idea if he was going to come. You had avoided him for an entire week, ignoring his notes and worried looked he threw your way in the halls and the cafeteria. He had all the right to ignore your request, but you prayed he wouldn’t.

The bell about the front door jiggled and your head snapped up, heart leaping to your throat when you saw Matt walking in, hand on his pockets, expression closed off. He made a beeline to your booth and you tried a smile which he didn’t return.

“So, you’re talking to me again?” his tone acid and cold and you flinched, forcing yourself not to look away.

“Look, after everything, I know I don’t deserve even a second of your time, but can we talk, please?”

With a sigh, Matt begrudgingly took a seat in front of you, his expression never wavering, his brown eyes staring you down, making you shift uncomfortably on your seat. Movies always made this seem so easy, but you were terrified.

“I broke up with Derek,” you said at last, once the silence between you two stretched to the point of painful. Matt’s eyes widened slightly at your words.

“Why?” he asked and once again the words seemed stuck in your throat.

“You know why,” you croaked, looking away.

“Do I? you’ve spent months treating me like a dirty little secret.” Matt all but spat, his eyes shining with hurt and your heart ached. “And then when the secret was out, you just ignored me like I was nothing!”

“You’re right and I was awful in this whole thing. To Derek and you,” you said with a sigh. “And I understand if you never want to see me again, but I like you, Matt. A lot. I love the way you frown when you’re thinking hard about something or how you smile when you’re right. I love how you look all tough and mean, but you’re actually really sweet when you let people in. I love how you let me in and I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but if you would let me try, I promise I will do my best to never hurt you like that again.”

“What about your reputation?” Matt asked, there was still hesitation in his tone, but mostly hope or so you thought. “Everyone thinks I’m a murderer.”

“I know the truth so fuck what everyone else thinks,” you declared, reaching for his hand, relieved that he didn’t pull it away. “Can we give it a try, Matt?”

“No,” he shook his head, taking his hand from under yours and standing up and you felt tears welling up in your eyes again as you watched him walking away.

---

When you walked into school the next Monday you could practically feel all eyes on you. It wasn’t such a big place so word about your breakup with Derek had spread like a wildfire exactly like you expected it would, making you wonder how much they knew.

You knew more than a few girls would be extremely happy about it. Derek was the quarterback of the football team, one of the most popular guys in the school they would most likely be lining up to replace you in his affections, especially with homecoming dance right around the corner.

Moving to your locker you let out a heavy sigh, trying to ignore all the stares, but at the same time, avoid thinking about the dress you bought for the dance that nearly cost you a month’s salary and apparently would go to waste because you had no one to go to the dance with.

Maybe it was a silly thing to worry about, but you did love school dances and all the silly rituals of passages they involved. You always felt like high school experience wouldn’t be complete unless you had a chance to go through these kinds of things.

With your biology book in hand, you close your locker door, turning around and running smack on Matt’s chest with enough force that you stumbled and he has to steady you with a hand on your elbow, his palm feeling large and warm against you skin.

“Hi!” you greeted, eyes wide in surprise. You didn’t expect him to ever talk to you again after yesterday and hope busted in your chest.

“You have my math notebook,” he said instead of a greeting, voice detached and hollow, successfully smothering the feeling.

“Right,” you nodded, trying to balance the book and dig through your backpack at the same time. It took a while, but you finally pulled out the notebook. “Listen, I still up for tutoring if you want. I know a lot has happened…”

“I got it,” Matt declared, cutting you off as he took the notebook from your hand. “Thanks.”

The last word was said in a dry tone as he walked away from you without a second look and you felt once again tears rising, your lungs constricting, but you forced yourself to take a deep breath. You’ve cried enough for boys in the last couple of weeks. You refused to cry even more. Once you felt you were in control again, you headed to class pretending not to notice the whispers.

If people didn’t know the reason why you and Derek broke up when the day started, they definitely guessed after this entire exchange. And by the time lunch rolled around, you already heard ten different and outrageous versions of the entire thing. It was getting hard and harder to ignore the whispers, but you were determinate to keep your head high because it wasn’t anyone’s business who you dated or not or why.

You got your tray and turned to your usual table where you could see the rest of the cheerleader team gathered, but before you could take a step towards it, Dana moved in your way, face drawn into a grimace and you knew exactly where this was going.

“So much for being my friend, huh?” You said with a snort and a head shake.

“He’s my brother. What you expected me to do?” Dana said with a shrug and you could see she was apologetic, but anger bubbled in your chest. “Just hand over your uniform at the end of the day.”

“Why wait?” you spat, dropping your tray with a little more force than necessary on a nearby table before you dug out the cheerleader uniform from your backpack and shoved in Dana’s chest. “There! Good luck making regionals without me.”

Suddenly without appetite, you turned on your heels and walked out of the cafeteria.

---

Two weeks later, you were hanging out at the bleachers, catching on your reading while you sat through the cheerleader team practice, taking great pleasure in seeing Bianca, your substitute messing up all the movements that came like breathing to you. Was it petty? Yes. But after everything you’ve been through these last feel days, you didn’t feel bad for your pettiness.

You snorted when she once against moved the wrong direction, making Dana stop the entire routine to chide her, but not before sending a glare your way like she knew you were mocking, which you definitely were. You only looked away from the scene unfolding in front of you at the sound of your name being called. Tilting your head up and shielding your eyes against the pale winter sun, you turned your attention to the sniggering football player hovering over you.

“I heard you like tutoring guys…” he started with a suggestive smirk and you rolled your eyes.

“50 bucks an hour,” you declared, gaze shifting back to your book.

“Is that what you charged psycho Matt?” the player asked, his voice dripping innuendo.

“No, I’m giving you the moron discount,” you replied with a little sarcastic grin and his expression shifted to anger as he took a step towards you.

“Hank!” Derek’s voice all but boomed and the guy stood to attention, looking a little guilty at the other boy. “Coach wants to see you.”

Tension made you sat straighter, fingers tightening over your book as you hurried to put your things away. You hadn’t seen or talked to Derek since the day you broke up and you preferred to keep that way for as long as possible. Apparently, Derek wasn’t having it because he followed you like a shadow.

“Can we talk?” he asked, voice so small you couldn’t bring yourself to say no. You’ve slowed your steps but couldn’t really bring yourself to look at him. “How have you been?”

“All of my friends refuse to talk to me; people keep whispering behind my back or calling me names to my face; guys keep propositioning because they think if I fucked Matt, will fuck anyone…” your tone is bitter, but after everything, how else could you deal with this? “I didn’t by the way. Sleep with Matt. We didn’t even kiss.”

“I know,” Derek sighed, coming to stand before you. “I believe you and I’m sorry this is happening.”

“It’s not your fault, Derek,” you sighed too, hands in your pockets. “Of everyone, you’re the only one completely blame-free in this entire mess and I hope one day we can be friends again.”

You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, before you made your way back inside the school, completely unaware of the pair of brown eyes watching the entire exchange. Not until the end of the day when you made your way to your car and found Matt there, much like when this whole thing began a few months ago.

You had tried to talk to him more than once during the last couple of weeks, but he either ignored you completely. He was once again hanging out with the worst people in school, jeopardizing his probation and you wished you could just walk up to Matt and talk some sense into him, but you knew you couldn’t. So, finding him here seemingly waiting for you, smoking a joint surprised and annoyed you to no end.

“What you are doing here, Matt?” you asked, putting your stuff onto the passenger seat before you glanced back at him.

“I’m here to congratulate you,” he said, jumping off the hood of your car. “You almost had me going with that bullshit speech at the diner, but here you are, two weeks later already all chummy with Derek again.”

It took you a second to realize what he meant and all you managed was to shake your head and snort.

“I don’t know what you think you saw, but I don’t own you an explanation,” you said, sidestepping him so you could reach the car door, but as soon as you pulled open, Matt pushed it close again. “What the hell you want from me, Matt!? You won’t forgive me, you treat me like shit and now you want me to explain myself for talking to the only person in this school who isn’t treating me badly? Fuck you!”

You shoved at his chest, all the words stuck in your chest for the past month suddenly finding its way out, spilling from your mouth.

“My life was perfectly fine before you waltzed back in! I had friends, I had a loving boyfriend who I loved or at least I thought I did.” You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes as your tone lost its anger, leaving only sadness. “But then you came along all brooding and rebellious, but so sweet and gentle and I remembered what was like to really be in love with someone…”

Your words were cut off when Matt brought you closer, his lips finding yours in an urgent kiss that had you too stunned to move; your hands caught against his chest; your eyes wide open. Matt was kissing you. You could feel his stubble scraping your jaw and the taste of pot in his lips.

It took a moment for the shock to wear off. For you to start kissing him back because it was the only thing you’ve been wishing for this last month.

“Why?” you gasped once he let your lips go and rested his forehead against yours, breathing hard, his hands rubbing gentle circles on your back.

“Because I couldn’t get you off my head? Everywhere I went, everything I did, reminded of you and how much I missed you and I didn’t know what else to do. I’m not good at this.”

You knew what he meant. You were learning you weren’t all that good with this, with feelings, either.

“Maybe we can work it out together?” you asked, brushing some hair away from his face, watching as his expression opened in a small, hesitant smile, that was still so bright and one of the best things you’ve ever seen.

“Yeah,” Matt nodded and this time, the kiss didn’t take you by surprise. “I’d like that.”

xxx

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