starting to think im a bard of void instead of being a knowledge class. i have the whole bardic crisis thing (oct 13 2013. sunday) the whole opposite aspect thing before that (Gifted Kid TM where part of my personality was bring smart. is very lightcore) and just how i seem to destroy everything i touch.

my aversion to lying and how terrible i am at it because its on a physical level in my body and i have to script it in advance (yes this is mostly autism) and not liking to keep secrets and being a blabbermouth. destroying void.

destroyed by void. getting FADED with weed. self isolation and most of my time being spent gaming or on the computer/phone. my awful terrible recurring dreams (dreams are void) that i have a fucking tag for. but the horrors have become almost mundane with how repetitive they are in my dreams and thats why i dont call them nightmares

The fun part of my little Raft/TMA au is that i can either go totally mundane or i can go “oh no, elias is deffo still Jonah, he just fucked up massively until an apocalyptic amount of climate change made shit really hard for the other powers and easier for him to drag in people who will go to dangerous lengths just to know what grass feels like. Including murder.”

Because, like in canon, theres no real winstate for the entities. Even the End will only exist until it also ends. 

And like i could deffo have Jon wake up in this alternate body of himself and have to find martin and have the gutpunch of waking up on a research raft... being shaken awake by a very alive Tim who just wants his friend and expedition partner to not scare away every fish in a hundred miles before breakfast. Jonah being continuation of the same old Jonah, but one that didn’t have the idea for the Magnus Archives until the world had well and truly gone to shit. Only incapable of Watching everything because its just.... water. water water water. So he sends out his little minions and promises them pride of place when they all hit land. Fosters the idea that even touching books is a privilage only he can allow. So on, so on. The fears would express themselves as usual, tailored to the new world they find themselves in. The lonely hardly had to work-- and it didn’t hurt that Magnus had looped further Lukas’ into ferrying resources to and from miserable little outposts with long, long hours of looking off into nothing. The hunt is largely primal nowadays, the deep dread that you’ll see someone on the horizon and find pirates. Its not hard to prove that fear true, an unending chase after anything that keeps you alive. An unending dance of hunted and hunter in and out of the water. The Spiral likewise settles in nicely-- losing your mind at sea has always been a danger. Isolation helps. And the tricks of perception on the water. The flesh is content in the twisted forms of various mutations--large scale farming isn’t really possible anymore. It still lives in the jolt from creatures about to be devoured, occasionally in desperate sailors eying each other warily. Slaughter is as it has been since one creature decided to kill another. Less, slightly, because murder now requires much more hand to hand fighting, or at least a bow. Corruption is, if anything, one of the larger players now. What’s worse than food spoiling, or being plagued by bugs that ruin everything keeping you alive? Pathogens made all the more deadly from radiation AND plenty of time to fight off anything that could possibly fight it. The Vast rules all, if nothing else. What else is there, aside of the ocean and sky and the joke of ancient mountaintops?

So on so forth.

Basically im debating bc one hand au where its the series but in Raft, on the other hand jonny gave us a perfectly nice possibility of dimension hop [im ignoring that they could have been atomized because that is sad].

hmm

will you do all of the ask mes you posted earlier

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?I am good with the height I am2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)Dragon! I AM KHALEESI!!!3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?Whatever I feel looks good on me and/or as long as Im comfortable4: What was your favorite video game growing up?Pokemon Gold for the Gameboy Color5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:Ryan, sleep and my bed6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?WARNING: Unpredictable moods 8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]No idea 9: Are you ticklish?Only on my feet10: Are you allergic to anything?Chocolate, Strawberries, carrot cake and various medication11: What’s your sexuality?I like pans12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?Teaaaaaa13: Are you a cat or dog person?I’m a both person14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?Vampire. I would LOVE to say merperson but... the ocean.... *squirms*15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?Megan Leigh (ciaobelllaxo)16: How tall are you?5′8″17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?Maybe something more unique. Or maybe just Lily lmao18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]noooooope19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?Lived it, so YES20: Do you like space or the ocean more?space21: Are you religious?Raised, yes. Personal beliefs, no22: Pet peeves?Too many to list23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?I would say nocturnal, but thats pretty lonely24: Favorite constellation?Canis Major25: Favorite star?Sirius26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?Dolls are creepy27: Any phobias or fears?I have anxiety. So yes.28: Do you think global warming is real?YEEEEESSSSSSS29: Do you believe in reincarnation?absolutely30: Favorite movie?wayyyyy too many31: Do you get scared easily?@moonywritesfanfic says yes32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?2 dogs and 6 cats34: What is a color that calms you?deep purple35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?DisneyWorld in the castle, thanks36: Where were you born?Right here37: What is your eye color?Blue/Gray38: Introvert or extrovert?introvert39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?Zodiacs, yes. Horoscopes, not so much40: Hugs or kisses?ALL THE EVERYTHING41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?Ryan, even though he dropped me off like an hour ago lol42: Who is someone you love deeply?Ryan... duh43: Any piercings you want?I think I’m happy with what I have. Maybe a few more up my one ear44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?nope... they are disgusting.... xD45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?I did all through highschool, up until I was about 2146: Talk about your crush, if you have one!He’s my everything. Point blank. And soooo much more than JUST a crush 47: What is a sound you really hate?Nails on a chalkboard48: A sound you really love?His heart beat49: Can you do a backflip?My doctor told me I wasn't allowed50: Can you do the splits?I used to be able to. I miiiiight still if I stretched enough51: Favorite actor and/or actress?Ryan Reynolds. Margot Robbie52: Favorite movie?Already answered this...?53: How are you feeling right now?Content 54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?Blue55: When did you feel happiest?Sitting at Ryan’s house on G Mans birthday, just the three of us.56: Something that calms you down?His hugs 57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]lol.....58: What does your URL mean?exactly what it says59: What three words describe you the most?Weird, loyal, kind. I think60: Do you believe in evolution?definitely61: What makes you unfollow a blog?inactivity, mainly. Or posting content I don't agree with. Or if a blog changes its content to something I don't particularly like.62: What makes you follow a blog?Many different reasons 63: Favorite kind of person:There are many different kinds of people I like64: Favorite animal(s):Fox, Doe, Zebra, Siberian Tigers, to name a few65: Name three of your favorite blogs.lol those who know me, know who my “favourites” are66: Favorite emoticon:I’m not on my phone. But the one with the one eye closed and the tongue out. Or the two pink hearts67: Favorite meme:I don't really follow memes at all68: What is your MBTI personality type?ISFJ69: What is your star sign?Pisces70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?LMAO NOPE!!71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?Anything that isn't my work uniform lmao but, legging and a comfy sweater are usually my go to.72: Post a selfie or two?You can search them up lol73: Do you have platform shoes?Are those in style again? lol I had a pair of platform flip flops when I was a little kid in the 90′s and early 2000′s lmao74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?I don't like Dumbo. Like, HATE it75: Can you do a front flip?Again, my doctor told me not to lol76: Do you like birds?When they aren't pooping and being loud in the early mornings77: Do you like to swim?yes78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?swimming. I can't really skate.79: Something you wish didn’t exist:Trump. Sorry not sorry80: Some thing you wish did exist:Kylie, still81: Piercings you have?4 ears, nose, lip and tongue82: Something you really enjoy doing:laying in bed cuddling and chatting about life with Ryan83: Favorite person to talk to:^^^^ refer to that answer 84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?I liked it. lol its changed soooooooo much85: How many followers do you have?zero lol xD86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?LMAO87: Do your socks always match?if Im actually wearing socks, yea usually88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?Never been able to. 89: What are your birthstones?birthstoneS?? Theres more than one? Pretty sure its only Aquamarine90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?A fox91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?Tiger Lily92: A store you hate?Abrocrappy xD93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?Usually only one94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?Read minds. But only when I actually want to.95: Do you like to wear camo?I did in like, the 7th grade lol96: Winter or summer?Neither97: How long can you hold your breath for?maybe a minute?98: Least favorite person?Trump99: Someone you look up to:Myself 5 years from now100: A store you love?Torrid101: Favorite type of shoesdepends on the weather. Either Toms or Docs or Timberlands102: Where do you live?Right here 103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?Nope104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?not really sure105: Do you drink milk?every day106: Do you like bugs?NOPE 107: Do you like spiders?HELL NO108: Something you get paranoid about?Lots of things. Too many things109: Can you draw:I used to be able to110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?There have been a few111: A question you hate being asked?You're still living at home??112: Ever been bitten by a spider?Not that I know of113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?Absolutely. One of my favourite sounds114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?Cloudy115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:Ryan, duh116: Favorite cloud type:idk lol the fluffy ones?117: What color do you wish the sky was?Lilac. That would be pretty118: Do you have freckles?I wish! My mom does and Im jealous 119: Favorite thing about a person:Ryans hugs120: Fruits or vegetables?Fruits121: Something you want to do right now:Stay with him forever122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?If its the top of the water, ocean lol123: Sweet or sour foods?sweet124: Bright or dim lights?dim125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?I believe in all magical creatures xD126: Something you hate about Tumblr:Anons don't show up on your block list127: Something you love about Tumblr:the family Ive made 128: What do you think about the least?I’m not thinking about it, so I don't know129: What would you want written on your tombstone?Nothing lame lol130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?Trump131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?my body132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?Not usually 133: Computer or TV?Computer134: Do you like roller coasters?ALL THE YES!!135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?Not sure about seasickness but I don't get motion sickness136: Are your ears lobed or attached?I have ear lobes soooo I guess that137: Do you believe in karma?to an extent138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?maybe a 6 on an amazing hair and makeup day139: What nicknames do you have/have had?There have been TONS140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?Not that I can remember. My parents don't remember any either.141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?No, even though I know it would be beneficial 142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?Hopefully good143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?Both to both144: What makes you angryA lot of various things at various times. My anger is a conflicting thing145: How many languages do you speak fluently?Just one146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?GIVE ME ALL THE GENDERS!!147: Are you androgynous?Nope. I’m very openly feminine 148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:Its super strange. But my feet. I have beautiful feet lol and NO you may NOT see a picture149: Favorite thing about your personality:I can be really cute at times. And I don't actually mean it150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.Ryan Ryan and Ryan? lol actually change one of those Ryans to Kylie. Because shed be at the age now, where the conversations would be amazing151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?late 70′s early 80′s152: Do you like BuzzFeed?Yea! They have great videos and I love reading their articles153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]At the mall, 3,936 days ago, through mutual friends154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?Platonically, I don't kiss anyone. Unless its children on the cheek or forehead.155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?I LOVE playing with kids hair lol156: What embarrasses you?various things at various times157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:everything lol having severe anxiety does that to a person lol158: Biggest lie you have ever told:“I’m fine, I promise”159: How many people are you following?247, but I gotta go through it160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?this blog: 13,050RP blog: 10,596161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?this one: noneRP blog: 3162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?13,701163: Last time you cried and why:can't remember when exactly, but most likely over school stuff164: Do you have long or short hair?is it considered short? I’m not really sure165: Longest your hair has ever been:Down to my butt, last year166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?Not a topic Im willing to get into 167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?Not 100%168: Do you like to wear makeup?Whenever I’m able to get a moment to wear it, yea. Even if its just mascara.169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?Not even for a second lol170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?Why wouldn't I..

ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa

deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ???? 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u

another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?

so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho

and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl

then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao

and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2

after that i wke up wild

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long

😘 talk about your crush or partner

[minhyuk voice] theres none

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

my personality (the good parts)

my values

my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like 

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now

😤 do you get angry easily?

yeahhhhh 

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

my faves tbh

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

bad people , gone.

everybody only sends love and happy things on anon

i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad

kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird

befriend: brian :-0

kill: jae goodbye loser

marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

tokyo bc its NICE

☕️ talk about your ideal day

cant read

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk

💧 when was the last time you cried?

nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

oh worm

all alone - day6

with you - astro

dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)

run - bts (the superior bts song)

hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

to fly bc im basic

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont do that

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

nobody in general????????? 

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my humor

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only

i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only

i wanna learn japanese and korean 

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

the cow from voltron 

��️ talk about your dream universe.

weve already discussed this

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

let me live my life as a furry and cat

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go

so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh

she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/

now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples: 

“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them??????? 

another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh 

she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong

being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao 

ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much 

i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

we’ve once again already discussed this

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

sweets and chocolate cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

drinking water and staying hydrated

making my friends laugh is great 2

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

acne LMAO 

😪 what are you sick of?

the usual

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah 

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

lets not 

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

to a certain extent

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics 

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

none

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

my ocs

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

i dont have a dream hence myself

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

falen i dont rmb what u sent

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho

🐴 opinion on day6?

ur rly gonna do this 2m e?

all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it

so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual. 

i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.

now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me. 

theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver

to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual. 

one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.

another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good????? 

tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

there are days where i am more emotional than usual 

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

this is tiring

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i sleep and boy it really helps

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

rest

🌍 which country do you live in?

singapore

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

lame funny swag

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017

💭 do you keep a diary?

nope

💫 who inspires you?

brian kang 

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes bc i love losing sleep

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

terrible

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

theres none lads

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross