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milothebastardman · 7 years

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Yes,Hi! Prompt for radmond! Lord Boxman finding out about it and being actually accepting it? (And may/or may not threaten Rad) u dont if u dont want to!

(i have too much fun with this oml thank you)

Lord Boxman grumbled and griped to nobody, waiting impatiently for his newest creation to get to his office. He’d sent Raymond out on a solo mission, one that should’ve taken a marvelous machine like himself a half hour tops. Instead, the robot had been gone for almost two hours, and even though it went against the average villain’s evil protocol, Lord Boxman found himself feeling quite worried for his creation. After all, Raymond was basically the baby of his dysfunctional little family, so he was allowed to feel emotions besides anger, frustration, and pride towards him!

He perked up when the door to his office slid open, the soft sound of smooth metal gliding on metal oddly comforting to his ears. In true villain fashion, Lord Boxman made himself wait a few moments before he slowly spun his chair around. He even managed to get it to stop before it spun too far to the left this time, so the motion was actually intimidating for once! He had been preparing his best glare for this moment, and oh if looks could kill… Well, realistically if they could kill, he would just be stuck having to repair a busted robot, now wouldn’t he?

He didn’t speak, instead allowing the silence to stretch to the point that it became uncomfortable for the both of them. Raymond’s face was schooled into a cool, calm mask of indifference, but Lord Boxman knew him better than that. He let out a long sigh, suddenly feeling incredibly tired. His son had failed the mission, otherwise, he would’ve been bragging and patting himself on the back the moment he walked through the door. The overworked dad settled deeper into his chair and simply motioned for Raymond to speak.

“Coach Box Dad, I swear I can explain why I’m late!”, he began, an edge of panic working its way into his normally haughty voice. Lord Boxman merely raised an eyebrow, silently prompting him to continue. Raymond began pacing nervously, words spilling forth from his mouth like water from a spring. “I just… I couldn’t, Coach Box Dad! I couldn’t come home and… And make you even more disappointed in me than you already are!”, he said, his voice rising to a shout before it cracked. Lord Boxman was confused, to say the least. However, before he was able to interject, Raymond continued hastily, “And don’t say you aren’t! Because… Because I just know you are! I’ve failed you again, Coach Box Dad… And it isn’t just because I lost some fight with the Bodega Babies either…”

“Raymond, you need to pull yourself together.”, Lord Boxman demanded gruffly, somehow managing to keep his volume under control. He stood from his chair, walking over to his son quickly. Raymond’s eyes were trained on his shoes, and Lord Boxman was surprised to find out that the artificial lacrimal ducts he’d installed at the last minute were fully functional. He wasn’t sure of what to do now, Shannon and Darrel had never seemed to require much more than a pat on the head to keep them emotionally content. Raymond was so much more intricate, his mechanical heart seemed to swell and ache just as much as his own flesh and blood heart did.

“I cannot fight them any longer, Father…”, Raymond admitted softly. Oh, there went his poor flesh and blood heart! Father was a name he’d never been called, even Darrel stuck with Dad. Lord Boxman reacted automatically, without giving his next action any thought. He reached forward and pulled his youngest son into the best hug he could manage. It was probably horribly awkward, considering he had given maybe three hugs in his lifetime, and considering the height difference between the two of them. Despite that, Raymond acted as if this was the epitome of affection, the most important hug he would ever receive in his lifetime. And hell, maybe it was.

“Raymond, I will be /damned/ if I ever hear you talking about yourself that way again.”, Lord Boxman murmured, giving his robot baby one pat on the back before he pulled away from the hug. His face was an odd mixture of concerned and stern, that trademark dad face when they wanted to make a point and fix whatever was broken. “You are easily the most incredible machine I have ever created. You are far from disappointing, my boy. Quite the contrary, really. Your flair in battle has always impressed me, and your knack for puns! Why, what kind of father would I be if I wasn’t proud of your puns?”, he added, feeling a not so foreign surge of warmth in his chest at the slight smile that tugged at his son’s lips.

“I’m… I’m sorry Father… Clearly, it is insulting to the both of us should I decide to insult myself.”, Raymond joked, getting a bit of his normal energy back. He stood taller, a ghost of his confidence returning. Lord Boxman let out a short bark of laughter, nodding in agreement.

“Now tell me, my dear boy… What exactly has you so riled today? Might I assume it was whatever made you late, or would that be too presumptuous?”, he asked, taking a seat once more. The nervous look on Raymond’s face told him he’d really need to sit down for a bit anyway, and he took a deep breath to mentally prepare for whatever was to come.

“… I have… a boyfriend.”, Raymond finally stated dramatically. Lord Boxman had to pinch himself very roughly in order to hold back his hysterical laughter. Was this what his youngest had been so worried about? What sort of father would he be if the simple news that his son had found someone to be happy with were to upset him? Why, he was a villain, not a monster! “And… It’s Radicles! Oh my god I’m dating my nemesis and it’s all his fault because he was the one who just HAD to tango with me at prom and-”, Raymond began, his flustered rambling fading away as the shock set in for Lord Boxman.

When on earth did Raymond go to a prom? And since when was he into egotistical, over the top, stubborn- … Well, that one was self-explanatory actually. The stupefied dad eventually tuned back in, barely catching the end of Raymond’s rant about the blue alien who apparently was the worst hero since he stole his heart. Lord Boxman sagged against his chair heavily, feeling a vicious migraine begin to pound like someone was taking several tiny jackhammers and going at his poor, poor skull.

“Raymond, please tell me you’re happy with this… Hero.”, he said, hesitating before he spat the word out. A villain with a hero was practically unheard of in this day and age! Sure, things were a lot better now than they were, say, 50 years ago, but there was still a negative association with those kinds of relationships. Plenty of heroes assumed that the villain would try to corrupt their partner, and drag them down to their own level. Villains had similar convictions, merely in reverse. Many were disgusted at the idea of some hero trying to “purify” one of their own, and yank them up to their own level.

Lord Boxman was pulled from his thoughts by a long, content sigh. Raymond had a slightly dopey look on his face, a gentle flush covering his face. He didn’t need to say anything because Lord Boxman just knew. This was who his son was, and this was who made his son happy. He’d either have to accept that and allow Radicles into his family or reject him and possibly risk losing his youngest son. The choice was simple, at least it was simple to him. He pulled out the next batch of evil plans he had readied that involved the Bodega Babies, as Shannon and Darrel liked to call them. With a dramatic flourish, the plans were tossed into a lit fireplace.

The two watched them burn, a tension that they had never fully been aware of melting away as the fire crackled and popped. The tension was instead replaced with a comfortable silence, and after a few moments, Raymond took his leave. The door whooshed open and shut seconds later. Now left alone with his thoughts, Lord Boxman decided to work on one last “evil” plan. Well, at least the last evil one to involve any of the Bodega Babies. He sat down at his desk and pulled out a few blueprints, a sly grin spreading across his face slowly as he became absorbed in his work…

~This timeskip of seven hours is brought to you by Radicles in a grass skirt and a coconut bra~

Lord Boxman examined his nails with a noted lack of interest, waiting patiently for his plan to come to fruition. The disguise he wore wasn’t the most enjoyable to don, but it was the most practical. Just because his son was dating a hero didn’t mean his father still wasn’t widely feared and hated. He was a realist, not an optimist. The disguise did its job at least, even if it was itchy as all get out. None of the Bodega Babies had recognized him yet, although the small one did seem to be trailing after him… He dared to glance over his shoulder, glad to see that the kid had finally gone somewhere else.

This feeling was only temporary, however, since Lord Boxman took exactly half a step before he ran into the very subject he was looking for. He looked up at the blue alien, surprised by how calm he felt. A voice that was nothing like his own inquired about a product he knew they didn’t have out front, and he found himself being led into the back room so he could retrieve it. The second the door shut, however, he had Radicles pinned against the closest wall. Despite his short, squat stature, he was still stronger than the hero. After all, Radicles was merely level two, while he was level -10. It was simple math, really.

“Dude, what the heck is your damage?”, Radicles griped, trying to squirm out of his hold. His eyes widened when the disguise shifted, revealing Lord Boxman in all his evil glory. “You’re… Wearing a disguise to sneak into Mr. Gar’s store now? Dude, this is a new low, even for you.”, he taunted, smirking at the shorter man. Lord Boxman didn’t even grant that petty jab a response with proper words. He simply laughed lowly, the sound menacing as it echoed and bounced off the walls of the large room. “Alright, stop being such a creep and get on with… Whatever it is that you’re doing here!”, Radicles snapped, trying to cover up his growing fear with annoyance.

“Oh my dear, simple Radicles… You’ve no idea what’s going on?”, Lord Boxman asked, batting his eyelashes innocently. He dropped Radicles to the ground, ignoring his little sound of surprise as he began pacing. “I have recently come across some very interesting information… Information regarding you and my dearest, youngest son, Raymond…”, he continued, trailing off as he glanced down at Radicles. Now the fear couldn’t be hidden and was displayed openly across the alien’s face. “Ah, you know what I speak of, don’t you? Well, let me make one thing clear, my boy…”, Lord Boxman said. He leaned down, his smile horrifyingly wide and sickeningly sweet.

“If you ever hurt my son… Then you will see just how much I’ve been holding back, young Radicles. You fear Mr. Gar and the immense power he holds compared to you, yet you seem to forget my own level. While Mr. Gar is level 11 and I am only level -10, keep this fact in mind. His power is limited by his heroic oath, and his ultimate promise to use the power he has for good. Mine… Well, my villainous oath encourages using my power to injure, to maim, to scar both physically and psychologically…”, Lord Boxman explained, glaring down at Radicles a moment before he pulled him back up to his feet.

“Now, do me a favor, and never mention this to Raymond. He’d be quite embarrassed if he knew I made a special trip just to rough up his boyfriend.”, he said, taking a moment to dust Radicles off before he switched his disguise back on. He left promptly after that, leaving Radicles alone in his stupor. Eventually, a little grin crept across his face. He would definitely tell Raymond about this, and he would definitely enjoy how thoroughly embarrassed Lord Boxman would be when Raymond launched into theatrics over this. He could practically hear him now, crying about how his father cared so much about him to threaten bodily harm to his boyfriend.

“Wonder if this means I gotta get him something for his birthday now…”, Radicles mumbled, making his way back to the front of the store. What the heck was he supposed to buy for an evil dad anyway? … There was probably a website dedicated to villain dad mugs or something… Did Lord Boxman like coffee? Radicles went about his day fairly normally, although his phone search history now had weird stuff like “#1 worst dad shirt” and “gayest villain (besides my husband)”.

(yeah my brain thought of evil dad accessories and then evil gay dad accessories so whoops enjoy pls)

#raymond #radicles #rad #lord boxman #oh look #dad boxman #ok ko #ok ko lets be heroes #fanfiction #thenonehater

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