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#then I get a week off 😎
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Dirty stall vs clean stall
Gross horse stall cw obviously…
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Luke at Milan Fashion Week 17 June 2023
📸: Edward Berthelot for Getty Images
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bookshelfdreams · 1 year
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few things are as depressing as seeing americans brag about their job's benefits
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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months
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...
#guess whos back in therapy bby 😎#the lady i saw was nice. 1st appointments r always a lotta blah blah blah so much to cover#and im always like bleh whatever im not that bad but when u put it all down on paper it is sorta a lot lol#i got the comment. hm u seem to kno a lot abt the dsm. and like listen. i have been meticulously categorizing my problems for the last 4#years. and i like to learn so ya kno. also said yea it sounds like u r having hypomanic episodes.#and asked if bipolar was a possibility and like if i was bipolar that would absolutely blow my god damn mind. im pretty sure its just pmdd#but whatever. im open to the possibility. mostly i wanna hear someone else perspective on this#i feel like im collaborating on a project. like gimmie ur notes i wanna see if were on the same track. bc im insane like that#i always feel bad when they apologize for asking invasive questions. like neh its fine. i got nothin to hide and i dont give a fuck#also i told a class of my peers that my distraction from research is drawing narut0 fan art. again bc i do not#give a single fuck. Professors response: hopefully we get to see it some day. bro. if u ask me i will show u. i do not care#i mean. probably nothing too weird but i feel like most of my stuff is safe to share. i just come off looking like a weeb i guess#but yea back in therapy bc my mum reminded me bc the ppl around me irl r also worried for my well-being based on my behavior lol#i mean its just bc i complain that im in like psychological pain a lot. so lots and lots of bitching abt my brain ^^#the lady i saw did fall a lil bit into my trap. like what woulf ur life look like if u had everything under control? bc it seems like ur#here and ur starting a phd what more do u want? and im like mwahaha but u see i can do school#i can do school so good. i am the best at school and thats it. i am otherwise barely functional#so i can be successful on paper and dysfunctional when it comes to having a life :-]#but whatever. well see what she wants to follow up on next week bc i threw a lot at her#also went to my office for the 1st time. it is really nice to sit in a working lab and watch ppl interact. but also i do feel like im#dying if i try to sit in that room with 2 other ppl lol. so well see how it goes. i may find somewhere else to hide#unrelated
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seulgikisser · 3 months
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i finally have wifi who else cheered 😽😽
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junrandot · 1 year
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im getting evicted now like y’all. this year 😭😭🙏🙏
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milimeters-morales · 1 year
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MJ: my husband has bigger boobs than me
Peter B: jealousy is a disease babe 🙄 get well soon ❤️😜
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peapod20001 · 9 months
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I am the nail growth self saboteur!!
#random post#guess who rammed their hand in a wall and broke off the literal short nail on their hand?? this guyy#I’m prone to ramming parts of my body into things. it’s comical really#like a week ago I somehow bashed my hip into a drawer handle. because that’s how I roll 😎#it hurt bad enough to shock me into silence </3 I got scraped bad enough for my parents to go ‘GASP. PEAA!!!! WHAT DID YOU DOOO???’#read that in concerned parent voice if u would#it’s funny when I get hurt or do smth bad and I’m asked why I’d do that. like we both don’t know I function like a scarecrow brought to life#and learning to walk with no bones or muscles HHFSCREE#it’s fine now pain only hurts in like the first few moments and then it’s chill#got off topic there but anywayssss yea :> I’m just glad it was the one that was already broken an not a longer one#I’m surprisingly optimistic I’ll have u know. contrary to popular belief#adhd moment but do u ever think how we’re the first generation that will grow up and grow old on the internet?#do u ever think about what that’ll mean for us? or what it looks like? will there be a time when we just don’t log on ever again?#I also sometimes think of the internet graveyard. the millions of accounts that are no longer used either by choice or by some other#circumstance like passing away. I think we’ll only know when the future generations see a post by someone with a date 100 years in the past#these aren’t negative thought they’re just thoughts I have. a negative thought would be me wondering who will tell the world I’m gone so I’m#not waited on. obviously that’s not a problem I hate to worry about now but then intrusive thoughts do be intruding. anyways yea when I’m#gone at like. 80 (?) I’ll release my creations into the wild for people to do whatever with. it’ll be like an intrusive species lmfao my#impact on the world will be fucking up the online ecosystem forever#ok I’m done rambling now lol did you know I was holding a muffin while typing this entire thing? one handed I might add!! the chaos can’t#be contained no matter how much adderall u pump in me
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bunnyb34r · 2 months
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Apparently to get the work app to work I just need to bitch ab it on here sgdggdgd I had a message all typed up and it worked as i was doing tags
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fangomango · 8 months
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Ooh getting the weird achey chest pain you get when you're stressed
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propertyofwicked · 24 days
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WORK EXPENSE - LN
lando x dj!reader SMAU <3
no one can quite work out if they're together - neither can lando. yn? she's just there for the vibes.
masterlist the playlist
⭑・゚゚・*:༅。.。༅:*゚:*:✼✿  ✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
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beatsbyyn has posted!
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liked by martingarrix, landonorris and 15,607 others...
beatsbyyn best night - thank you martingarrix and burnerroom for having me! <3
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burnerroom come back soon!!
⇾ beatsbyyn ur never getting rid of me now ♡
landonorris photo creds left the chat :(
⇾ beatsbyyn cry about it ♡
⇾ landonorris make me???
⇾ beatsbyyn sir this is a wendys?
⇾ landonorris sir? oh so it's like THAT huh?
martingarrix SO SICKKKK same time next week?
⇾ beatsbyyn ive already started planning our next set!!
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beatsbyyn has posted
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liked by maxfewtrell, landonorris and 21,031 others...
beatsbyyn to my favourite brother, happy birthday frankie ♡ ̆̈ glad u stopped trying to run me over with your kart
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frankb im your only brother? but thank you ig?
⇾ beatsbyyn be grateful i said anything at all
⇾ frankb what was that? sorry couldn't hear you over the sound of my successful career and happy relationship
⇾ beatsbyyn didnt ask.
l4uren wait was he in formula renault??
⇾ beatsbyyn yes but now hes just a pain in my ass
⇾ ln4ours wait so her and lando have probably known each other for years??
⇾ l4uren he competed with max f in 2016 so maybe?
⇾ ln4ours the djing crossover now makes perfect sense lmao
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beatsbyyn has posted
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liked by landonorris, martingarrix and 45,217 others...
beatsbyyn personal assistant, professional dj and part time nurse - amsterdam, you were messy - same time next year??
tagged: landonorris and martingarrix
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landonorris delete this 🙏
⇾ beatsbyyn no 🙏
⇾ mclaren beatsbyyn never delete this
⇾ beatsbyyn anything for you admin ♥︎
lnwag bro what did h- hOW??
⇾ beatsbyyn he's a 24 year old man who can't hold a glass without smashing it
⇾ landonorris which is completely normal, im sure
⇾ beatsbyyn it's not.
⇾ maxfewtrell it's not.
⇾ georgerussell63 it's not.
-> beatsbyyn yo georgerussell63??? tell carmen i miss her
lilymhe can you be my nurse?
-> beatsbyyn i heard kissing is the best medicine
-> lilymhe cant hurt to try
-> alex_albon hello?
-> beatsbyyn lilymhe never let your boyfriend get in the way of finding your future wife
martingarrix the door was unlocked? why did you climb through the window?
-> beatsbyyn skill issue 😎
beatsbyyn has posted
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liked by landonorris, mclaren and 22,745 others...
beatsbyyn he said "i can dj, but can you drive" - im expecting a call from zak brown any moment now.
tagged landonorris
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landonorris never getting in a car with you ever again.
⇾ beatsbyyn i did great wdym??
⇾ landonorris you spun off the track and said "oopsies" ?!?!?!
⇾ ln4ours she's so me fr
mclaren zak said he's sending the paperwork over now
⇾ beatsbyyn good thing i look great in papaya
⇾ landonorris is this how i find out ive been fired?
⇾ mclaren yeah so about that....
⇾ landonorris admin?? say jk rn
lnwag are they...together? im so confused
⇾ alex_albon me too.
⇾ georgerussell63 me too.
⇾ oscarpiastri me too.
⇾ landonorris me too.
⇾ beatsbyyn me too.
maxfewtrell did he not learn from the last time we went karting?
⇾ beatsbyyn in my defence - i was leading and he pushed past me??
⇾ maxverstappen1 so you pushed him back and then he pushed you off the track?
⇾ beatsbyyn it's not fair :(
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tinycoffeeroom · 2 months
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café de paris | max verstappen
face claim: none ᡣ𐭩
request: here !
a/n: all french / dutch is google translated blame them if it's wrong! race order is completely random here !
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
📍café de paris, monaco
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liked by bffstagram, friend1 and 294 others
y/nstagram me 🤝 café de paris
bffstagram bro those croissants look Fire ↳ y/nstagram my main source of sustenance in these hard monaco streets!
friend1 i have yet to see evidence of you shaking ass on a yacht miss y/n!! ↳ bffstagram so real... we're meant to be living vicariously through you!!! ↳ y/nstagram student finance doesn't stretch to yacht ass shaking, i can barely afford my daily caffeine fix 😭
friend2 oui oui hon baguette how is france? ↳ y/nstagram never let a monagesque hear you say that,,, bro i can't fight ↳ friend2 🫡 ... how is monaco?* ↳ y/nstagram 🫡 it's good!! def happy i chose here over france, even if my wallet doesn't agree 😭 ↳ friend2 we feeling fluent yet? ↳ y/nstagram oh god no, the other day this poor old lady tried explaining how to find the art museum to me and i just stared at her like 😶
friend3 spotted any f1 hotties yet? i hear they all camp out in monaco 👀 ↳ y/nstagram considering i have never watched a Single f1 race i couldn't tell you HAHAH i'm sure they're around here somewhere though ↳ friend3 dude i told you to brush up on f1 😭 how am i supposed to come visit you and have a meet cute with mr lando norris if you don't do your RESEARCH ↳ y/nstagram damn i see how it is,,, using me to get to your vroom vroom men,,,
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3 weeks later
📍café de paris, monaco
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👤 alexandrasaintmleux liked by bffstagram, alexandrasaintmleux and 270 others
y/nstagram finally found someone else to join my café de paris obsession 🥐
bffstagram next bff sweetie run while you can... ↳ y/nstagram stop scaring the pretty bitches off damn 😔 ↳ alexandrasaintmleux bffstagram she won't let me leave 😭 ↳ y/nstagram i deserve better friends ↳ bffstagram you couldn't live without us xx ♥️ y/nstagram
alexandrasaintmleux la prochaine fois, nous irons au casino ! (next time, we go to the casino!) ↳ y/nstagram finance étudiante a dit non (student finance said no) ↳ alexandrasaintmleux 😔 s'il tu plait... pour moi? 🥺 (please... for me?) ↳ y/nstagram pray for my wallet guys...
friend3 wdym you just casually befriended The Alexandra Saint Mleux??? ↳ y/nstagram i thought her skirt was pretty and had no idea she was like famous 😭 then we just kept running into each other !! ↳ friend3 i need to fly out to monaco damn you can't even see her in the pic but ik she looked So pretty... ↳ alexandrasaintmleux i like your friends y/n :p ↳ y/nstagram just wait til you see them drunk,,,
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📍 jimmy'z, monaco
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👤 alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris liked by alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris and 2,962 others
y/nstagram started the night in a night club and ended on a yacht,,, just monaco things (apparently) 🛥️
friend3 y/n if you don't answer my texts RIGHT NOW !!!! ↳ y/nstagram 😉 any reason ml? ↳ friend3 i'm gonna swim to monaco and bite chunks out of your ankles what the FUCK ??? when were you gonna tell me you were just casually hanging with [REDACTED] ↳ landonorris i'm guessing i'm redacted? 😎 ↳ friend3 i need to go lie down ↳ y/nstagram landonorris dude 😭 ↳ landonorris was it something i said? 😉
alexandrasaintmleux meilleure amie 💗 (best friend) ↳ y/nstagram merci de m'avoir invitée ! je t'aime ! (thank you for inviting me! love you!)
maxverstappen1 was lovely meeting you last night schat x ↳ y/nstagram you too max! don't forget to send me those pics of the kids! x ↳ bffstagram kids? ↳ y/nstagram his cats! jimmy and sassy! 🐱❤️🐱 ↳ bffstagram your knack for finding cat people never fails to impress me ♥️ y/nstagram
danielricciardo dude my liver actually hurts... ↳ y/nstagram hey you're the one who suggested a drinking contest ↳ danielricciardo yeah because i normally WIN you freak ↳ y/nstagram i'm a broke uni student, my drink of choice is normally vodka so cheap it's legally paint stripper
georgerussell63 carmen's phone died but she said to remind you about brunch today ↳ y/nstagram on it!! alex is gonna come round and bring me 😊
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👤 maxverstappen1 liked by maxverstappen1, bffstagram and 2,938 others
y/nstagram met some VIC's (very important cats) today! 🐱 also f's in chat for my café de paris 😔
bffstagram f ↳ danielricciardo f ↳ georgerussell63 f ↳ landonorris f ↳ carmenmmundt f ↳ alexandrasaintmleux f ↳ maxverstappen1 f
friend3 babies!! the second pic oh i could cry ↳ y/nstagram she slept there for like 3 hours 😭 managed to actually sit through a whole gp though so a wins a win! ↳ friend3 y/n watching f1?? who is she?? ↳ y/nstagram their dad forced me 💔 ↳ maxverstappen1 um who cheered so loud when i won that she woke poor sassy up?? ↳ y/nstagram 🤐
charles_leclerc i didn't know café de paris do takeout? ↳ maxverstappen1 they do if you're me :) ↳ y/nstagram the only reason i'm considering keeping him around 😉 ↳ alexandrasaintmleux charles_leclerc and why have you never used your influence to get ME takeout café de paris "prince of monaco" ↳ charles_leclerc look what you've done... y/nstagram ♥️ y/nstagram
fan they're definitely max's cats but who is she? ↳ fan she knows alexandra so maybe they're in the same friendship group??
3 months later
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liked by maxverstappen1, bffstagram and 308 others
y/nstagram working hard or hardly working 🌸
alexandrasaintmleux quand avez-vous passé votre examen ? (when's your exam?) ↳ y/nstagram lundi prochain,,, mon ami du café me manque 😔 (next monday,,, missing my cafe friend) ↳ alexandrasaintmleux nous fêterons cela quand tu auras terminé 💗 (we'll celebrate when you're finished)
bffstagram the red bulls... i wait 3 years white man does it in one week ♥️ maxverstappen1 ↳ y/nstagram hey! made him wait at least 2 months :p
friend3 the f1 book.. one of us one of us!! ↳ y/nstagram apparently i can't keep saying "the one with the red cow on it" when talking about his car,,, ↳ maxverstappen1 its a bull... literally a red bull... ↳ y/nstagram blah blah blah it's red and goes moo ↳ maxverstappen1 everyday i wake up to such disrespect ↳ charles_leclerc i'm just glad someone's keeping your ego in check ♥️ y/nstagram
friend1 when are you coming back to england :( ↳ y/nstagram i'm hoping to come visit next month! ↳ maxverstappen1 about that...
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📍 jeddah, saudi arabia
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👤 redbullracing, mine liked by redbullracing, y/nstagram and 1,928,385 others
maxverstappen1 First P1 of the season at the first race! Always grateful to stand on that top podium, especially today 🙂
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fan sorry WHO is that in the third pic????
fan bro soft launching on a race win post...
y/nstagram trots op jou ❤️ proud of you ♥️ maxverstappen1 ↳ fan 🤨
fan did you guys see the way his girl jumped the fence to get to him after he won? relationship goals fr
schecoperez another red bull 1-2! 💪 ↳ maxverstappen1 you gave me a run for my money at the end there old man! ↳ schecoperez less of the old thank you
redbullracing rue when was this ↳ fan admin finding out about max's relationship at the same time as us is so on brand ↳ redbullracing and here i thought we were besties 😔 ↳ maxverstappen1 😉
danielricciardo you look hot in the second photo and it's not just the heat 😍 ↳ fan maxiel lives on ❤️
fan he tagged her as mine BROOOOOO who's got this man so down bad??
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👤 maxverstappen1 liked by maxverstappen1, bffstagram and 194 others
🔒 y/nstagram account locked DOWN but it's so worth it for you ❤️
maxverstappen i'm sorry liefje i should have thought about this before inviting you... ↳ y/nstagram i don't regret going maxie,,, and i certainly don't regret hugging you after the race,, i knew what i was getting into, it's just a lot ❤️ ↳ maxverstappen1 ik ben gek op jou ❤️ (i'm crazy about you) ↳ y/nstagram mijn charmante prins ❤️ (my prince charming)
alexandrasaintmleux you do what's best for you ma cocotte 💗 honestly going private at the start of mine and charles' relationship was one of the best things for us ↳ y/nstagram the woe of being a wag 😔
daniel.jpg dude can you accept my follow request ↳ maxverstappen1 you followed her from your jpg acc but not your main? ↳ daniel.jpg never said i was smart ↳ charles_leclerc ^ ↳ georgerussell63 ^ ↳ landonorris ^ ↳ alexandrasaintmleux ^ ↳ carmenmmundt ^ ↳ maxverstappen1 ^ ↳ y/nstagram ^ ↳ oscarpiastri ^ ↳ daniel.jpg oscarpiastri HOW DID YOU GET HERE?? you haven't even MET y/n yet ↳ y/nstagram that's my son watch your tone. ↳ daniel.jpg i am very sorry miss y/n l/n PLEASE let me in ↳ y/nstagram oscarpiastri shall i? ↳ oscarpiastri lemme think on it ↳ daniel.jpg i hate it here
📍 suzuka, japan
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👤 maxverstappen1 liked by maxverstappen1, y/nstagram and 1,394,582 others
redbullracing a quick look into max's garage! already over halfway through the season and your current world champion is on track for his 4th year running 💪
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maxverstappen1 you know how we do 👊
fan i see a y/n at the back!! ↳ fan who is y/n? ↳ fan his gf! she was first spotted in jeddah and she's been to quite a few of his races this year! ↳ fan do you have her ig? ↳ fan y/nstagram but it's private!
fan 4 time world champ incoming! ♥️ redbullracing
user lewis is gonna reclaim his title! ↳ fan ok gramps lets get you back to the home
fan best team in the world
user oh the gold digger is back ↳ redbullracing blocked, deleted and reported ↳ fan red bull stand on business ↳ redbullracing no one messes with OUR redbull girl! 👊
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👤 maxverstappen1 liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 274 others
🔒 y/nstagram did you know red bull gives you wings? 👼
maxverstappen1 must have taken you forever to think of that caption ↳ y/nstagram what can i say you're dating a comedic genius
friend1 damn ma lend me one of those jackets xx ↳ y/nstagram omg pls take one he won't stop giving them to me,,, ↳ friend1 i'll take the white cap too if you're offering 👀 ↳ y/nstagram 🫡
bffstagram the third pic... y/n STAND UP ↳ y/nstagram he has the prettiest eyes 😍 my man my man my maaaaan ↳ bffstagram we've lost her boys...
alexandrasaintmleux i see the ferrari jacket 👀 ↳ y/nstagram max nearly threw me out of the room fr ↳ maxverstappen1 you deserved it ↳ maxverstappen1 also i'm burning it when you're not looking ↳ y/nstagram charlie gave it to me :((((( ↳ charles_leclerc yeah max you wouldn't burn sweet charlie's jacket would you? ↳ maxverstappen1 i'd burn you IN the jacket if you don't stop ↳ charles_leclerc 🫦 damn i love when you talk dirty to me ↳ y/nstagram ,,, alexandrasaintmleux should we leave them to it? ↳ alexandrasaintmleux after what you showed me on tumblr... yeah maybe we should
daniel.jpg loving the drip ↳ maxverstappen1 has she still not accepted your main follow request? ↳ daniel.jpg no... i know it's oscars fault somehow ↳ oscarpiastri why am i catching strays? ↳ y/nstagram i watched baku 2018 ,, you're lucky i don't block your jpg account ↳ daniel.jpg THAT WAS SO LONG AGO LET ME INNNNNNN
📍 zandvoort, the netherlands
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👤 maxverstappen1 liked by y/nstagram, maxverstappen1 and 1,998,928 others
redbullracing and maxverstappen1 getting P1 and being crowned a 4 time world champion at the final race of the season AND your home race? max verstappen we tip our hats to you 💙
see 98,284 comments
fan him lifting the trophy and mouthing "this is for you" to y/n i am so lonely oh my god
y/nstagram mijn kampioen ❤️ (my champion) ♥️ redbullracing, maxverstappen1
fan max verstappen world domination!! lets go champ!!!
fan y'know maybe the dutch national anthem isn't too bad...
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👤 maxverstappen1 liked by bffstagram, maxverstappen1 and 290,948 others
y/nstagram i moved to monaco for a degree in french and fell for a dutchman,,,
max, it has been a privilege to know you, to share your happiness and to love and be loved by you. watching you do what you do best fills me with so much joy and i can't wait to see you dominate the track for many more years. here's to you. ik hou van je, mijn kampioen ❤️ (i love you, my champion)
(also hi fans of max, i am very scared about being perceived by so many of you, please be nice ❤️)
maxverstappen1 mijn hart en ziel, ik weet niet hoe ik het in het Engels moet uitdrukken maar bedankt dat je in mijn leven bent gekomen, je maakt alles een beetje mooier. ik hou van je ❤️ (my heart and soul, i don't know how to express it in english but thank you for coming into my life, you make everything a little brighter. i love you) ↳ y/nstagram maxie 🥹 can't wait to celebrate you tonight ❤️
fan hi y/n!!! glad you felt comfortable enough to come off private! we're a nice bunch i promise! (at least most of us are) ♥️ y/nstagram ↳ fan also if anyone is mean to you i will do something that puts me on the national news 🫶
fan we've only seen glimpses of her on tv, max you bagged a baddie DAMN ♥️ maxverstappen1
fan mama y papa ↳ landonorris real ↳ oscarpiastri real
danielricciardo I'M IN !!! ↳ danielricciardo WAIT YOU WENT OFF PRIV??? y/n thats so mean wtf :(
alexandrasaintmleux mon couple préféré 💗 (my favourite couple) ↳ y/nstagram c'est grâce à toi alex, je t'aime 💕 (it's all thanks to you alex, love you)
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👤 y/nstagram liked by y/nstagram, landonorris and 1,386,297 others
maxverstappen1 an appreciation post for mijn liefje. being able to put up with me dragging her halfway across the world nearly every month so i can drive fast cars whilst studying for her degree. graduated top of her class (with an elective in dutch 😉). here's to you and to us. (oh and happy 11 months, i may love you a little bit) ❤️
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y/nstagram my boy ❤️ could't have done it without your support ↳ maxverstappen1 i know, i am an Amazing boyfriend 😉 ♥️ y/nstagram
landonorris congrats y/n! knew there had to be a big brain in that ol' noggin of yours ↳ y/nstagram thanks lan! maybe i can actually teach you some french now 🤓
fan taking a long walk off a very short bridge
redbullracing congratulations to the brains of the couple! hoped you liked the gifts 💙 ↳ y/nstagram a dutch for dummies book, you think you're so funny don't you 😐
fan the flowers 😭😭😭
fan doesn't post about his championship but posts about his girl... need me a man like that
2K notes · View notes
bby-deerling · 21 days
Note
Hc about the boys Law, Zoro and Kid catching you using a sextoy 😎😉🥰🙏
based request :D using this to get me back into the groove of writing smut after a brief break
catching you with your sex toy (nsfw)
ft. zoro, kid, law
masterlist
cw: sex toys, sanji being sanji, masturbation, rough sex, brat taming, snail phone sex
tagging: @willowbelle @eelnoise @sanjisprincesswifey @fanaticsnail @indydonuts
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zoro
the last thing you expect when you enter your room is to find zoro there with your clit sucker in hand, but now that you've stumbled upon the sight, you're rendered speechless as you slam the door and lock it, trying to cobble together something to say to him.
"the cook said you had something interesting in your drawer. i thought he was just stealing your panties again, but i found whatever the hell this thing is instead." he says as he stares at it, brows knitted in confusion.
a flash of anger flows through you rapidly at the knowledge that sanji was rifling through your drawer again, but you feel a sense of relief knowing that zoro seemingly doesn't know what your toy is.
and then he shatters any sense of the comfort that you were regaining with a single sentence.
"do i not make you feel good enough?" he asks, though it seems to come more so from a place of curiosity than one of insecurity.
flustered, you shake your head with fervor. "i've had that for a long time, like since before i even joined the crew. i haven't used it in forever—" you say with a blush, though your words are cut off as he presses the button to turn it on and gives you a smirk.
"tell you what, i'm gonna make you cum with this thing, and then with my mouth, and you tell me which feels better." he says, tilting his head to urge you towards the bed.
though the toy gets you off quicker, zoro isn't surprised when you tell him his tongue feels far better when he unravels you. after all, he knows your body like the back of his hand, and all that training he does with his mouth has the added bonus of paying off during moments like these.
kid
you feel like you've been caught with your hand in a cookie jar when kid walks into his room and finds you grinding against the vibrating saddle he's made you, your cheeks flushed and lips parted in ecstasy. the laugh he gives you is full of mirth, but you know you're in for it now, severely.
"you think you're too good to obey the rules, huh, princess?" he asks with a toothy smirk as he approaches, flicking the switch on your toy to turn the vibration off. "you know you're only allowed to use your toys with me."
turning as bright red as his hair, you swallow hard as you collect your words; you were already in for a punishment, so you figured you might as well up the ante and bruise his ego a bit—after all, it'd be a win for you in the end as he takes his frustration out on your sloppy, wet pussy. "if you weren't so busy all the time, i wouldn't have to get myself off." you shoot back, holding your chin high to try to convey some form of confidence as he towers over you. with ease, he grabs you by the waist and tosses you face first into the mattress, harshly grabbing at your hips and pulling them towards him.
"you're gonna take this cock so hard you're not gonna be able to even think about your stupid toys for a couple weeks." he growls as he sheathes himself inside of you. normally the friction would have burned, but you were so wet from grinding against the saddle that his thick length slides right in with ease, making you yelp as he fills you to the brim.
"i'm gonna fuck you stupid, you fucking brat." he grumbles under his breath as he slams into you, the fingers on his metal hand vibrating against your clit as you squirm in his grasp.
law
though the rest of your crew is having a bonfire outside, you can't help but hide away in the polar tang for a little while. you've missed law so terribly over these past couple of months, and your own scent has overpowered his in your shared room; however, law's office is the one place where his presence still lingers.
and it's pathetic, the way you use your rabbit toy with your face buried into the throw pillow on his couch, the blanket over top of you poorly simulating the warmth of his chest against your back. you're so unbearably close as you daydream about his hands kneading at the flesh of your hips, letting out a soft whine until the sound of the snail phone ringing sends shock and adrenaline coursing through your body. turning your toy off, you keep it inside of you as you wrap the blanket around you and sit in law's chair before picking up the receiver.
"hello?" you ask, your voice soft and hesitant as you hope you're not met with a marine's voice on the other end.
"hey. it's me. i'm calling from the thousand sunny." law replies, making your heart and stomach flip with delight and relief with the confirmation that he's okay.
"thank god—when will you be back?" you ask excitedly, spinning around in the chair with glee.
"in around three days or so. are the others around?" law says, a bit confused as to why he hadn't heard bepo crying tears of joy through the receiver yet.
"they're all outside having a cookout." you inform him, smoothing your hair out as you stare at the snail, unable to hide your smile; it felt like a hallucination, hearing his deep, raspy voice after being apart for so long.
"how come you're not with them?" he asks with a bit of concern, though he picks up on exactly what your needy body was up to when you reply to him.
"i was, but i came back to the submarine to... take care of something." you say with a blush, hoping the snail on the other end failed to mimic the blatantly guilty expression on your face.
law's chuckle through the phone tells he's picked up on what you've been doing, and you take a sharp inhale as he teases you. "tch, you really miss me that much?" he asks, the lips of his snail curling into a devilish smirk. "let's hear it then. don't hold back." he murmurs as you hear a door slam and lock behind him.
obediently, you turn your toy back on and whimper softly as his low voice tells you all the filthy things he plans to do to you the second you two are alone together.
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Constapation massage
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kindestofkings · 7 months
Text
what came first, the chicken or the dickhead?
[smau]
f1driver!reader x lando norris (eventually, friends to lovers ofc)
authors note: this is so dramatic and for what! sorry to pierre for making you the villian, and lets pretend ferrari isnt as shit as it currently is! lol enjoy, would love to know what you think <333
yourusername
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yourusername tough day in the office today, mexico '22 is just not to be I guess. As always a learning curve and we will grow from todays DNF 😞
See you soon Brazil !!
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ynfan1 we are still so proud of you! keep pushing 👍
f1fan this is literally what you get for trying to compete in a MALE sport
f1fan2 fr she's bringing down pierre and the team f1fan3 too emotional for the big leagues ynfan2 stfu you do realise your favourite MALE drivers dnf all the time aswell
alphataurif1 we come back stronger!!
yourusername 👊👊
alex_albon lily is wondering would going for ice cream cheer you up?
yourusername I love her, yes please 🥹 landonorris I'm coming yourusername nuh huh its for us pointless drivers! landonorris come on it was only 2..
f1fan4 lando norizz trying to make it a double date lollll
f1fan5 bro chill these two have been friends since literal birth
alphataurif1
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alphataurif1 the difference 2 weeks can make! our girl yourusername is starting pole position on sunday here in brazil 🔥
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yourusername woohoo roll on sunday!!
ynfan1 go bestie go !
ynfan2 AT moving up💪
yourusername
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yourusername great work achieved today, the car and track felt good. hopefully we can convert this position into some points to finish of the season on a high, all we need is team work on the track (and for max's alarm to not go off so he misses the race 😀)
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maxverstappen1 why the personal attack
yourusername WHY do you have to win every week, surely you are bored by it by now ... charles_leclerc I agree, maybe take a week off? f1fan2 hahah these two i'm obsessed
landonorris please do well but not TOO well, just stay behind me 👍
yourusername and look at your ass all race? hard pass
ynfan1 that mention of teamwork is a lil suss...
ynfan2 not really?? it is a team sport ynfan1 yeah but do you not find it weird how unfriendly yourusername and pierregasly are, despite them being on the same team? f1fan tbf I have always noticed how forced their videos are together. and they dont even follow each other
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yourusername
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yourusername lollll ruining my career one interview at a time, but at least we hit the clubs looking fire 🔥
p.s. I stand by what I've said I only have apologies for two people 1) my pr manager (who I dont pay enough for this) and 2) charles for linking your name to this hot mess!
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landonorris it's so great being the unproblematic one 😎
yourusername does mcclaren need another golden driver from bristol??? I fear im out of a seat soon .. ynfan1 this is so sad you are way to talented of a driver to be out of a suit
charles_leclerc No worries 😅 Just make sure you buy me dinner next time before dragging me into the chaos. 🍽️🤷‍♂️
yourusername you got it prince of monaco! f1fan2 PLEASE PLEASE DATE ynfan2 ewww no her and lando are so so in love they're just too blind and stupid
danielricciardo absolute legend behaviour mate!!
yourusername learning from the best danny ric 😎
alphataurif1 and yourusername
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alphataurif1 From grid battles to glory laps! 🏁✨ Our unstoppable driver just clinched her FIRST WIN at the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix! 🏆 Watch out, world – she's rewriting the history books and leaving her mark on the track. 🚀🌟
#AlphaQueen #AbuDhabiWinner
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danielricciardo What a race! Big congrats, yourusername. That first win feeling is something else! Enjoy every moment!
alex_albon: absolutely smashed it! huge congratulations on your first win!
carlossainz55 felicidades!!
susie_wolff: breaking barriers and making history! huge congratulations on your first win!
yourusername AHHHHH I CANT BELIEVE IT ! I LOVE YOU TEAM !!
ynfan1 lando where is your congrats you are slippinnn!!
landonorris
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landonorris I've never been this happy to lose, but it's pretty cool seeing your best friend win in her rookie year. EVEN if she beaten me to it 😞
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yourusername LANDOOOO you are a the bestest friend ever
yourusername would not have gotten here with out you, my partner in crime <3
ynfan1 best friend?? y'all are still so blind
f1fan everytime you call her your best friend you reaffirm the lando NORIZZ name
danielricciardo facts alex_albon facts carlossainz55 facts charles_leclerc facts yukitsunoda0511 facts maxverstappen1 facts landonorris CAN YOU SHUT UP
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scuderiaferrari
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scuderiaferrari oh we thought we should just let you know our driver line up for 2023 👀 say hello to the dynamic addition to the Ferrari family, the wonderfully feisty yourusername! get ready for a season full of speed, passion, and fierce competition. Welcome to Maranello! 🇮🇹
view all 700 comments 
ynfan1 HOLY F*CK
susie_wolff wow congrats yourusername!! wishing you all the best !
yourusername thank you so much susie! your advice the last few weeks has help me so much ! ynfan1 I love when girls support girls 💓
yourusername can't wait to get started! forza ferrari ❤️❤️
charles_leclerc this is going to be incredible! congrats !!
yourusername thank you charles <33 be prepared to be sick of me lol ynfan1 so happy shes got a teammate who acc is a decent guy
ynfan2 LOLLLL I bet pierre is sick
landonorris slayed 💅
yourusername 😂😂 f1fan watch out mr norizz her new teammate is mr steal-your-girl
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steddieas-shegoes · 2 months
Text
never gonna give you up
for @steddiemicrofic "fake" prompt that needed to include the words: and, around, desert, down, give, gonna, let, never, run, up, you
1987 words | rated e | no cw | tags: modern au, flirting, bisexual steve harrington, handjobs, some platonic stobin, ridiculous and unserious
😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎
"This might be the first time someone's deserted me in the middle of a date," Steve said into the phone.
"You aren't counting that one time Sarah left during the movie?" Robin asked.
"She had a family emergency!" Steve exclaimed.
"Right, and I'm definitely going on a date with a dude later."
"You're saying she didn't have a family emergency?"
Steve remembered that date, remembered how she'd even had tears in her eyes when she said her mom called and she had to run home.
"You're gonna unpack that all night, aren't you?" Robin sighed on the other end. "Steve, just go home. Take a week off from trying to get into some poor woman's pants. Leave some of them for me to get into. I beg you."
"What makes you think they'd come running to you?" Steve looked over at a guy standing at the counter of the diner, clearly trying to pick up his order. From the back, he seemed tall, but that could be the black skinny jeans and boots combo.
"Let me talk to them for one minute and I'll have them convinced."
The guy turned as the woman behind the counter walked to the kitchen, his eyes settling on Steve talking on his cell phone at the table in the corner. It's not like there were many people here on a Monday night, nothing else to look at but Steve awkwardly sitting by himself with two glasses on the table.
The guy started to walk over, and Steve recognized him immediately.
"Gotta go, Robs."
"What? How are you done wallowing already?"
He hung up before she could continue, putting his phone face down on the table.
"Well, well, well. Never thought I'd see the day where Steve Harrington shows back up in Hawkins."
Eddie Munson didn't know shit about Steve, never really had. He thought he did, just like everyone else in high school, but the gossip that followed him around never had much truth to it. He really only had two girlfriends for most of high school, and only one of them was serious enough for him to sleep with.
The sleeping around came after his move to Chicago, when he was constantly surrounded by women who would give him all the attention he wanted.
"Never really thought I'd be back," he said with a genuine smile. Kill them with kindness or whatever his grandmother used to say.
It seemed to throw Eddie off at least, his mouth opening and closing around whatever rebuttal he planned.
"So why are you here? Visiting the parents?" Eddie crossed his arms, leaned his hip against the edge of the table.
"Nah, came to visit Dustin Henderson. Staying for a few more days and thought it would be nice to take someone out. I guess she didn't agree," Steve shrugged.
Eddie glanced down at the empty spot across from him, the glass on the table with half of the drink missing. He looked back at Steve's face.
He sat down across from him and smirked.
"So. Come here often, sunshine?"
Steve snorted, shaking his head as he looked up at Eddie.
"Not as often as I would if I was coming to see you," Steve replied, taking a sip of his drink.
Eddie clearly wasn't expecting him to flirt back. He recovered quickly, though.
"I suppose we could fix that, then, huh?"
Steve looked him up and down, taking in the messy bun his curly hair was pulled into, the pen mark on his cheek, tattoos up and down his arm.
"I suppose we could."
Waking up in Eddie Munson's bed was definitely not what he expected when he arrived in Hawkins two days ago, but stranger things had happened.
He opened his eyes to sunlight streaming in through the curtains and Eddie's warm body pressed against his back.
Neither of them had gotten dressed after their shower last night, too tired to do anything more than rinse off the sweat and cum from hours of making each other come undone.
Steve let himself have this. Eddie would kick him out when he woke up, kindly of course, but he'd make it clear to Steve that this was a one night thing. No matter how good it was, Steve wasn't an idiot. He knew Eddie would never actually be interested in a guy like him.
"Mmm. Stop thinkin' s' loud," Eddie's lips brushed against the back of Steve's neck in a half-kiss, sending a shiver down his spine. "'s too early."
Steve smiled to himself, let Eddie's arms tighten around him and hold him close for a bit longer.
"I should probably head back to the Henderson's. Claudia will be worried if I'm not there for lunch," Steve said quietly.
"Just text Dustin, tell him your date went well."
Steve shouldn't get his hopes up. It's not like he was gonna do long distance, and even if he would be willing, there was no way Eddie would.
"I can't lie to him," Steve felt his heart flip flop in his chest at the admission.
Eddie's head lifted and his breath hit the side of Steve's face instead of his shoulder. "Did it not go well? I thought it- well, I thought it went great, actually."
Steve turned in Eddie's arms, facing him, placing his hands on his chest. "It did go well! It did."
"Okay, then…"
"It's just this wasn't exactly a date, was it? You just felt bad for me, probably wanted to see if the rumors were true."
"What rumors?"
"You know. The ones about me sleeping around, being good with my mouth." Steve's eyes searched Eddie's, looking for any hint of recognition. When none came, he continued. "How I let anyone fuck me on the first date?"
Eddie's brows furrowed. "Is that what people say about you?"
"You don't have to act dumb, Eddie. Some of it's true."
Eddie's hands were rubbing up and down his back, making goosebumps appear on his skin. "You are good with your mouth. That one’s true. The rest though? I never believed any of that shit.”
“Really? Why not?”
Eddie’s hand traced along Steve’s only tattoo, a robin placed just under his collarbone. “Because I never gave much thought to rumors. Lord knows most of the ones about me weren’t true.”
Steve thought about all the rumors he’d heard about Eddie in high school.
Back then, he may have believed some of them, but he had firsthand experience with things getting out of hand.
“You can think what you want, but I brought you back here because I genuinely enjoyed talking to you at the diner. I wouldn’t have slept with you if I wanted to get rid of you. Trust me. I’m not really a one and done guy,” Eddie’s hand cupped his cheek, thumb rubbing along his cheekbone. “If you’re in a rush to go, I can’t stop you. But I think staying in bed with you all morning sounds pretty fuckin’ good.”
Steve’s breath hitched, his heart kicked up in his chest. “You know, I’ve actually never bottomed before last night.”
Eddie’s eyes widened. “Seriously? Never?”
Steve shook his head. “Never found anyone I could trust to be gentle.”
“Was I gentle enough? Shit, you should’ve told me. I used spit as lube, Steve! That couldn’t have been comfortable.” Eddie pulled away a few inches, mumbling to himself in a panic.
“Eddie.” Steve tried to get his attention back on him. “Eds.”
Steve shifted forward, his front pressing against Eddie’s, his half-hard cock finding friction against Eddie’s thigh.
They both groaned as Steve rocked against him again.
“Everything was perfect, Eds. Only thing that would make it better is if I get to watch you come again right now," Steve said against his lips, pushing his hips forward so their cocks brushed against each other.
"Fuck, keep doing that and you'll get your wish, sweetheart."
He was sensitive, worked up from the hot breath against his mouth, the tongue brushing against his bottom lip. Steve couldn't remember the last time he'd been this wrapped up in someone, this attentive to the sounds they made, this focused on making sure they both felt good.
The friction was enough on its own to get Steve to the edge, and if Eddie's moans were anything to go off of, he was right there with him.
Steve never felt safe enough to be loud, not until he had Eddie begging him to make noise.
"C'mon, Stevie. Wanna hear how good you feel. Sounds so good when you can't hold it back," Eddie's hand gripped his hip, tugging him closer. They were both leaking precum, dripping down each other's lengths and losing track of where one of them ended and the other began.
Steve couldn't hold it back, didn't want to anyway. Letting Eddie hear how good he felt was a need.
"You gonna come with me, sweetheart?" Eddie gasped out as he wrapped his hand around both of them, slowing his hips to focus on moving his hand, finding the perfect angle and pace to get them both over the edge.
Steve bit his lip and nodded, barely holding back a whimper as Eddie's grip tightened around them.
"Come for me, Stevie."
Eddie's voice had a direct link to Steve's cock, maybe through the hand wrapped around him. Steve came with a shout, curling forward so his forehead fell against Eddie's shoulder.
He was overstimulated, fighting the urge to buck into his hand and pull away at the same time.
Steve pulled his head back to watch as Eddie groaned, cum hitting both of their stomachs as he worked himself through his orgasm.
They both lay there in silence, Eddie's grip loose around them as they both softened. They'd need to clean up before the cum dried in Steve's chest hairs and made them sticky, but moving seemed like an impossible task.
"You live in Chicago now?" Eddie asked suddenly, making Steve jump. He rubbed his cleaner hand on his back in silent apology.
"Yeah," Steve breathed out. "With Robin Buckley. From band?"
"I know Robin. She used to come to my shows before she moved."
"Small world."
Eddie snorted. "Just Hawkins." Eddie sat up, pulling Steve with him. "You know, the guys in my band have been considering moving to Chicago. Think it's a good place for a metal band?"
Steve searched his face for any clues as to what he was really asking. Certainly he didn't expect Steve to know if a metal band would feel at home somewhere.
"I…guess?" Steve answered.
"I'll just text Robin," Eddie wiped his hand on the sheets and reached over to the bedside table to grab his phone.
"Wait. You keep in touch with Robin?" Steve felt like he was being pranked.
"Not as much as I should, but yeah. We caught up last time she visited her parents." Eddie typed on his phone for a moment, then looked up at Steve with a smirk. "Problem with that?"
"No, I'm just kinda shocked she's never really mentioned it." Steve stood up with shaking legs. "I should probably grab a shower and go."
"You normally a runner?" Eddie asked, amused.
"No? Why do you ask?"
"It's just the second time you've been rushing to leave. Thought I told you I wanted you here."
Steve knew what he wanted, and he knew it was too much, too fast, too ridiculous for Eddie to even consider it.
But maybe, if he played his cards right, maybe he could have Eddie for more than today.
"Shower with me?" Steve settled on, pouting his bottom lip out.
"And then?" Eddie pushed.
Steve didn't know what to do, but he knew what he wanted.
"And then we'll go back to the diner and actually eat something together." Eddie nodded, encouraging him to continue. "And then you give me your number."
"For?"
"Planning our next date."
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