#the way they can also be your sweetest daydream though~ flip of a switch~ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ember-owlet · 1 year

Text

dynamic: cg! donna beneviento headcanons

a/c: our beloved dollmaker is one of my top comfort characters (i think about her 24/7), so this list is gonna be much longer than my usual ones. also, each item in the moodboard is going to correspond to these headcanons, though in no particular order. as a disclaimer most of these are based off of my own regression/daydreams so its very self indulgent in nature. there may be some things that won’t be based on canon but instead my own interpretation of the character (especially since what we know in canon of donna is very little unfortunately ( ╥ω╥ ))

i hope you enjoy!

warming up to people outside of her own family would be difficult for the introverted lord, however once she’s made up her mind about someone/considers them one of her own, there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for you

out of the four of them she was the fastest to understand what your regression is and its benefit to your mental health. i mean she is the village dollmaker, she’d understand more than anyone what its like to find joy in things meant for children.

and who’s to say that she isn’t a regressor herself? i believe wholeheartedly she’d be a flip, she may not have understood the terminology at first but her tendency to go non-verbal and have angie speak for her is my main evidence

the moment she comes to understand what she needs to do to help you, you’ll find her one of the sweetest caregivers ever

and she’s so. observant.

if she finds you taking a liking to anything in particular (whether it be a food, a show, or even a material of clothing) she’ll be taking notes of it to either get you more of it or as a reward for your good behavior (gotta make sure she’s raising a respectful little one, y’know?)

her leather bound book would have all of her observations: your schedule, your likes and dislikes, and her ideas for gifts months in advance

there’s absolutely no way that you’d be able to hide anything from her, there’s eyes everywhere in the beneviento house!

it’s mostly for your safety of course, she respects your autonomy and your privacy of things that you’d like to keep to yourself

though i can’t say the same for angie, she’s one of the biggest tattletales the village had ever known

donna would chuckle to herself if she were to find a “surprise gift” under your bed while cleaning, remarking to herself how good of a little one she has for thinking of her

as a creative soul herself she would absolutely encourage it, you would have a separate room right next to her office to let your creativity run wild (though supervised if she noticed you in a smaller mindset)

if you like sewing, she’d have an entire suitcase of child-safe needles and scissors for you. if you like to paint she’d always make sure that you have sufficient amounts of each mediums

she loves anything that involves the use of her skilled hands, one of her favorite pastimes being knitting. you could always find her humming near the fire, seamlessly switching the yarn in between each row

it would only take you to silently sit in front of her with your back turned for her to put everything down and begin brushing and braiding your hair, you were almost convinced it was a superpower in itself how perfectly even each of the braids would come out without fail

though she can get completely lost in her work she’d always make sure to set time aside for her little one, as though you two weren’t already attached at the hip. neither of you mind, silent company is something that you both greatly enjoy

if there is ever a need for her to not have you near her, angie is your assigned babysitter for any occasion, though she’d take the role of being your superior to heart, and voila you have a mischievous older sibling

though she wouldn’t admit it there isn’t anything that angie wouldn’t do for you either. of course she has moments of getting jealous that you take donna’s attention away from her, but if she notices even one wrong look from the other dolls towards you they’d be having a word with her or donna soon after

storytimes are an absolute must before bed, they were already something that donna would do for the other residents of the house when she felt like it, but now it had become routine. most of the genres would be the old folk tales and gothic literature that she was raised on

you can bet that she’d be using her powers of hallucination to let you see the world around you as the set of whichever story of your choosing

your desire to want to mimic her in everything she does is something that she finds so endearing about you. she’d be in the kitchen cooking a meal for the two of you and then look down to find you tugging on the bottom of her dress, ushering you instead to your play kitchen to “help”.

“perdonami, piccola ombra, the oven is too dangerous.” followed closely by angie tugging you away to a safer area of the house

piccola ombra= little shadow, a name given to you by donna when she found you following her around the house with a blanket over your body and a stuffy clutched close to your chest with a veil over their head to mimic her and angie

besides piccola ombra, she would have many petnames that she would shower you with throughout the day, though her favorite of all would be either tesoro (treasure) or bambolina (little doll), but especially coniglietta (bunny)

because of that you will find bunny items everywhere, from your plushies to your lotion to the items engraved around your room

the two other ways that she notices you copying her is gardening and baking. any of the produce that you both procure would be used in your meals and treats.

donna always thought it best to work for the things that you want rather than to depend on others. her status as lord always guaranteed she were given things on a silver platter, and for that she always found gardening to make her less reliant on help.

after finally clearing off the brush and snow, the two of you would find yourselves enjoying the afternoon picnicking outside with the other dolls with two different tea sets: one silverware and another wooden set to play with. you two would watch the sun set over the courtyard, and if you grew sleepy she’d be happy to carry you back to bed

you would never find a more loving, attentive, and dedicated caregiver than donna beneviento ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

#cg! donna #donna beneviento #agere #age regression #fandom agere #resident evil #resident evil agere #resident evil village #embers writings #she just means so much to me :')

66 notes · View notes

t-lostinworlds · 5 years

Text

Lost You (Shawn Mendes)

Feat. Tom Holland

A/N: Here is me trying to get back to writing haha and yeah, Tom Holland is here. First time ever writing him so please don’t kill me if it’s bad lakslaksal. This was written quickly too, supposed to be a blurb but got carried away. Also I don’t think this is the best I've written thus far so I’m sorry in advance if it sucks :/ Anyways, hope you still enjoy!

Requested:

First of thank you so much sweets 🥺 that means the world. Second, I changed it up a bit, I hope it’s okay ❤️

Warnings: None and Typos

Word Count: 3.2k+

Masterlist in Bio

-:-:-:-:-

[Images not mine]

-:-:-:-:-

"Nervous?"

That all-too-familiar British accent made you look away from the car window, eyes landing on a handsome man who was sitting right beside you. A worried smile was etched on his lips as he tilted his head to the side, hand resting on your bare leg in a comforting manner, the car ride quiet aside from the soft music that the radio was playing and the soft mumbles of the other people accompanying you.

You couldn't stop yourself from admiring him as he was all groomed up, wearing a classic black suit that fitted is body perfectly, a white dress shirt paired with a bow tie, radiating that James Bond feel with his hair gelled back to give him that clean and sleek look.

You gave him a small nod. "A little bit. Thank you so much for coming with me Tom." You flashed him a grateful smile, placing your hand on top of his as you gave it a soft squeeze.

"Hey, of course, it's your first VMA's, I wouldn't miss it for the world. And I know how much you hate red carpets but still, you join me when I ask you to walk with me. The least I can do is return the favor."

You know that there was something more between you two other than being just casual friends, even Tom does too as he's already confessed to you how he really feels, but none of you has bother to do something about it yet, being that you've just broken up with your boyfriend not too long ago.

_______

You're still figuring yourself out and Tom being the kindest, most understand and sweetest person that he is, he respected that and has done nothing but be there when you needed him most.

"Have I already told you how gorgeous you look?" The young man grinned, eyes admiring you in a way that made your stomach do a flip.

"Yes, now quit ogling, your making me melt." You joked with a roll of your eyes, feigning a slight hint of annoyance in your voice that only made him chuckle. Tom was about to says something but didn't get a chance to respond as the car came to a halt, a crowded red carpet in full view once the both of you took a glance at the tinted window.

Tom interlaced his fingers with yours, giving it a comforting squeeze before his free hand took hold of the door handle. "Ready?"

You took one deep breath as you gave him the go signal, the door sliding open seconds later as he slowly stepped out of the car.

Tom helped you out like the gentleman that he is, your grip on his hand tightening as the flashing lights invaded your eyes in a matter of minutes, your name being screamed by dozens of photographers as they try to get a hold of your attention.

You wore your best smile as you threaded down the carpet, following the usherette assigned to guide the two of you and then stopping to pose as how these things always go.

Tom lets go of your hand to wrap an arm around your waist, your eyes meeting his as he gave it a reassuring squeeze to let you know that he's got you. The amount of time the two of you had walked the red carpet this past few months made him understand why you don't liked carpet. You do get a bit flustered with this much attention, like your being held under a magnifying glass and that one wrong move could be seen even if it's miniscule.

You mirrored his smile as your turned around to fully face him, hand coming up to fix his bow tie as both of his took home on your hips.

"Why did you wear a bow tie? You know very well that you can't keep this straight not matter how hard you try." You teased, hand sliding down his chest once the tie was straight enough for your liking.

The flashing lights and the screaming were never ending but you've learned to tune it out for the amount of times you've done this already. Tom chuckled as he guided you further down the carpet again, stopping to take another pose before he spoke.

"I mean you do like it more when I wear this than a regular tie. You think I look ravishing, you just hate to admit it." Tom retorted with a smirk. You rolled your eyes at that. "Oh please, don't be so full of yourself Holland."

It was going great so far, all laughs and smiles between you and Tom but of course, that only lasted for a moment as you heard the paparazzi scream the names of the people you weren't exactly keen to see.

What a way of the universe to joke that they had to arrive just after you did. You were praying, begging that you could at least walk the carpet without seeing that specific familiar face, but we don't always get what we want in this world do we.

Tom felt you tense up a little bit his head turning to see what was wrong, but when he finally heard who has just arrived, he was quick to switch from playful to overprotective mode, his grip on your waist tightening as he pulled you closer to his side.

"You alright?" Tom leaned closer to whisper in your ear. You nodded with a hum, your faces just an inch away as he pulled back, the concern on his features only lasting a split second as it was quick to change, his smile now wide and bright as he looked at you adoringly.

"He's watching." He spoke between his grin once he took in your confused expression and you were impressed at how fast he can change his mood all of the sudden, but then again, he is an amazing actor after all.

You flashed him a thankful smile, glad that he understood why you're suddenly uncomfortable without having to explain it. So grateful that he was here just as how he's been from the beginning.

With a deep intake of breath, you willed yourself to ignore them, to not even have a peek as you focused on the tasked at hand, focusing more at the gentleman beside you.

Just grin and bear it Y/N, carpet is almost done.

Shawn however, was having a really hard time ignoring you.

Though he was walking with someone else, he can't stop himself from stealing quick glances in your direction whenever he can, making sure that he was doing it as discreetly as he could. The internet would go crazy if he gets caught longingly looking at someone who they only knew was his friend. You never did go public, you didn't get the chance to as everything when south in a blink of an eye. But seeing you right now in the flesh after many months, Shawn feels like his heart was about to jump out of his chest.

He was in awe to say the least.

You wore a fitted sheer dress covered in silver stones and glitters, the garment hugging your body in the right spots giving you a beautiful figure that was making Shawn's head spin. More so with that plunging neckline that showed just enough for it look classy, along with a low back that made the dress look even sexier. As if that wasn't enough, the dress had a slit that showed off those legs in the most elegant way possible.

Your hair was up in a messy bun with a simple yet glamorous makeup, and that beautiful smile of yours that he'd always fall for. Shawn was at a loss for words at how breathtaking you look, you always do that to him no matter the occasion, and you never fail to do so, even to this day.

But his daydreaming was cut short when he finally noticed that you weren't alone too, a certain pang in his chest when you seem to look so happy in the arms of another.

The break up was entirely his fault.

He made a choice thinking that it was for the best, but now he was starting to think otherwise and he was slowly and painfully swallowing the consequences thus far.

Shawn got pulled straight out of his thoughts once your eyes met his the moment you looked over your shoulder. He blinked a couple of time to check if he wasn't hallucinating, seeing a bright smile painted on your lips as you gave him a curt nod, no ill-will written on your face before you broke his gaze, turning to face the person who stood too close by your side for Shawn's liking.

The way his arm was laced on your waist was not sitting well with Shawn at all, especially when this Tom guy was looking at you in a way that he used to. But what truly hurts was that familiar look of adoration on your beautiful face, the one you always gave Shawn whenever you're proud of him. That certain look that was used to be for him and him only, keyword: used to.

This made him think that maybe he was too late, and that you've finally moved on. That he's truly lost you fully this time.

He shook his head with a clear of his throat, standing straighter as he shoved all his thoughts in the back of his head, wrapping his arm around the girl beside him as he smiled at the cameras.

This was going to be a long night.

***

It was commercial break and you were thankful, your bladder just couldn't seem to hold it for much longer. You turned to Tom, nudging his arm as he was busy talking with someone's brother that you didn't quite catch the name of.

"I'm just gonna go the bathroom real quick." You whispered once his attention was on you, slowly getting out of your seat only for Tom to do the same. "I can take you–"

"No silly, it's fine. I'll be back as fast as I can I promise." You giggled, gently pushing him back down as you waved at the person he was taking to.

"Okay then, be careful you clumsy woman." Tom gave you a playful wink with a soft chuckle, you shaking your head in response, mumbling a soft 'shut up' before you walking off.

You reached an empty hallway that one of the staff members pointed you towards, the door of the bathroom coming to view moments later but that's when you heard rushed footsteps behind you, your mind immediately thinking that it was Tom following you as he was the only one who knows where you've gone.

"I thought I told you I can handle myself and pee alone Tom?" You giggled, turning around only to stop dead in your tracks as you were met by a familiar man, too familiar for your taste, one that sported those unruly curls on top of his head.

"Shawn." You breathed out, face contorted in sheer surprise as you were not expecting him at all.

"Y/N, hey." He flashed you a shy smile, both hands in his pockets as he slowly walked closer to you, stopping himself once you took a step back, sadness flashing across his features and you tried your hardest not to scoff out loud.

"What are you doing here?" You asked skeptically, crossing your arms over your chest, but not in an intimidating way, no, it was more as a defensive stance, shielding yourself in a sense.

The break up wasn't a mutual decision, nor did it end on a good note. It was painful, very painful.

It left you in such a dark place and you worked so hard to get yourself out of there. You've made your progress but you aren't exactly fully out yet, you are still in the process of healing as wounds are still a bit fresh, and there is no way in hell you're letting him pull you right back in.

"Just wanted to see you... I miss you."

You shut your eyes tight with a sigh as you shook your head at him. "Don't. Just don't."

Shawn didn't seem to get the hint as he only took a few more steps closer to you, lips parted slightly as he took you in completely. "You look so beautiful." He gushed, fingers absentmindedly pushing a strand of hair behind your ear once he was in close proximity, so close that you just had to look up at him.

You stood there frozen in your spot, heart beating rapidly against your chest as you found yourself stuck under his gaze. Those familiar brown eyes will always have a hold against you, especially when he's looking at you so yearningly, a certain glow crossing his features as is if he was too glad to be close to you again.

The more you stared into his eyes, the more you felt your walls slowly slip, so you pulled your head away from his grasp, clearing your throat as you took two steps back, a deep frown quick to appear on Shawn's lips but you paid it no mind.

"I'm sorry but I need to go." You hastily walked pass him but being the stubborn boy that he is, he took hold of your arm to pull you right back.

"No, wait." Shawn spun you around to face him again, both hands now gripping your elbows to keep you in place, his grasp firm but not too much for it to hurt. His action only made your annoyance grow, a slight anger now slowly boiling to the surface as you gave him a pointed look. "Let go of me Shawn."

The slight waver in your voice made Shawn drop his hands, the frown on his face never leaving as his brain slowly processed how you actually didn't want him near at all. It hurts to say the least but Shawn can't blame you.

He can only imagine what you've been true. The pain he's caused seemingly unforgivable that he, himself would want nothing to do with him either.

"Can you at least give us the chance to talk?" Shawn sounded so desperate but he didn't care. He was holding onto his last beacon of hope, that maybe deep inside, you still have feelings for him, that you still love him just as how he still loves you.

You let out an exasperated sigh. "There's nothing left to talk about Shawn. We broke up months ago. We are done. I've been moving on and you have no right to try and pull me back in now when I've been doing so much better than when you left me. And just to clarify, you have a girlfriend."

Shawn ran a frustrated hand through his curls. "Please honey, I've been regretting things a lot and I can't apologize enough for what I've done. I was stupid and I've been wanting to kick my ass every single day from the moment I hurt you. And seeing you today with Tom, how you look so happy with him, it fucking hurts so bad. I miss you so much, I want you back angel, I need you back Y/N."

A sarcastic laugh left your mouth before you could even stop it, eyes rolling as you shook your head at him in pure disbelief. "Wow. You're being unfair Shawn. Now that I'm happy and have been better, you suddenly want me back? When you see me with someone else you suddenly miss me? You had months to reach out to me Shawn. Fucking months, but not once did you ever think about calling me. I'm not going to be some girl who you only show interest to when it benefits you."

Shawn shook his head, bottom lip trembling as he took your hand in his, and you let him but never did you show him that it affected you in any way. "No that's not the reason. I still love you Y/N, I really do. Please just give me another chance."

You sighed, gaze softening as you watch him slowly break in front of you, but you weren't giving in, you've grown stronger since that day and you've learned to stand your ground, to do what's best yourself. "You've been living your best life during those months, touring the world, frolicking the streets while I was suffering in the pain that you've caused. I don't want to go through it again because it fucking hurts Shawn. It was a hard battle but I've overcome it. Maybe not fully yet but I am getting there, and I'm not letting you jeopardize that. You were a beautiful mistake, but I can't anymore. I'm done. Now will you please, let me go."

"No, angel please just–"

"Y/N! Is everything alright?" A huge relief washed over your body as that familiar voice bounced off the cream colored walls. Shawn's whole body going rigid as he closed his eyes, jaw clenching at the interruption.

"I'm sorry Shawn, but I think it's best that we keep our distance. You need to sort yourself out as do I." You whispered, slowly pulling your hands out of his grip and making your way towards Tom.

"Hey Tom, you know Shawn and yeah, everything's fine." The curly boy turned at his name, a tight lip smile on his face as he gave you both a curt nod.

"Hey man, nice to finally meet you." Tom moved forward as he reached a hand out, a friendly smile on his lips but you didn't miss his tight grip once Shawn took it, the tension between the two rising as Tom shook Shawn's hand hard and firm.

You saw Shawn's jaw visible clench as he slowly nodded his head, standing tall and strong with his nostrils slightly the flaring once Tom lets go of his hand. "Likewise. Big fan of the films."

You couldn't stop yourself from rolling your eyes as Shawn's voice got deeper than normal, the stare between the two looking like some high school confrontation.

Tom only chuckled with a nod. "Thanks mate. Appreciate it." He didn't wait for Shawn to respond as he turned his attention to you, hand wrapping around your waist in a sweet yet protective manner. "Tricia's been looking for you. It's almost your turn to perform love."

You flashed him a bright smile, a silent communication happening between you two and Shawn felt his heart sink to his stomach, eyes falling to the floor as he couldn't bear to watch you two any longer.

"Let's get going then. I still need to change. I'll see you around Shawn." You gave him one last smile before turning your back on him, walking down the hall to where you came from, wondering what both of your futures hold.

Shawn only watched as you disappeared out of sight, heart breaking into pieces as he slowly felt his knees give out, a tear slipping out of his eyes at that the thought that he's pushed you away, so far and into the arms of someone else.

He really has lost you for good this time, another consequence of his mistake that he has no choice but to endure and face.

-:-:-:-:-

Like and Reblog if you enjoyed! x

Permanent Taglist: @dylshoney @keithseabrook27 @outlandishnerd @particularsof @chrizzy95 @sunshinesofty @aspiring-fangirls-world @lettingtherosegrow @shawnshoodies @nedthegay @luvluvxx @adonishawn @justanotherfangurl272 @h-oneyholland @baefrombombay @whotfiskate @loveydoveyshawn @hehemendes @greedydevil

Lemme know you want to be added/removed from the permanent taglist loves! <3

925 notes · View notes

cleverbroadwayurl · 5 years

Text

The Dark I Know Well (Jeremy Heere x Reader Pt 23)

Song: The Dark I Know Well from Spring Awakening

Word Count: 2406

Need to Catch Up? Sneak a peek at my masterlist!

A/N: I’m so sorry about taking so long, I just wanted to make something that I was a little bit proud of posting! I also work 40 hours a week so yikes I’m busy a lot!!

Taglist: @retrogarden @be-more-heidi-hansen @scarsonthecuffsofyourjeans @bluhimaweirdo @catatonic-kuragin @stargirl-murphy @macbookpro-hard-drive @heytheredee-lilah

Trigger Warnings: Implied assault, mentions of assault, mentions of a shitty boyfriend, language, mentions of fear of intimacy, mentions of an abusive ex-boyfriend, mentions of the Halloween party, mentions of previous fic parts, IF I MISSED ANYTHING PLEASE LET ME KNOW

You had been wronged before, you’d been confused, cheated out of a life that was set for you that was supposed to be happy. Your ex-boyfriend had done wrong. Jeremy wanted to do it right.

By date three, Jeremy swore that he was walking on air.

Between gaming together and eating takeout, something even more magical had sprung up--more than he ever could’ve imagined in his usual daydreams that he’d had a year ago. It was suddenly like everything felt like it clicked into place, the last puzzle piece just fitting into a beautiful photo that he couldn’t wait to show the world--with your permission, of course.

While he thought the consent thing would be a challenge, it really wasn’t. It started as something conscious, something that felt like it took a lot of work. But it ended up feeling normal, even just by the end of date two.

And you were right: you weren’t normal. You were by far one of the sweetest people Jeremy had ever met, someone who took the time to ask him how his day was but was sure to leave space so he could spend some time relaxing on his own. You felt years wiser but somehow stuck in your same body. Jeremy could guess why, but he always left that specific part out of the conversation. It was easier to leave the past behind and focus on the present, or even the future. He didn’t really mean like future future, but things that were happening within the next week or month or so. He thought about the nice things he could do for you, but still keeping your boundaries intact, along with ideas for dates, and sometimes even thought about how he even ended up where he was, and just how lucky this whole thing felt.

You had been much more relaxed by date two, which in turn made Jeremy relax. He could feel it as his muscles stopped tensing while you giggled at his character once again falling off the side of the map during a Super Smash Bros. game. But it didn’t matter. If he could hear that laughter that felt like watching a flame flicker atop a scented candle, losing wasn’t so bad. In fact, he could go as far to say that he preferred to lose. He claimed a reward almost either way.

So when Jeremy showed up for date three and you looked a bit...well...not yourself, he became concerned. It was almost like a switch had gone off, like one day you were fine, but a nervous wreck the next. That can’t be healthy. It didn’t make sense in his brain, unless he’d done something bad like crossed a boundary he didn’t mean to. Although his intentions were good, he’d realized that in the long run, your perception was much more important than his intention. Of course, with a flick of your wrist, and a shaky entrance, Jeremy could already feel himself going through each text, every conversation, every consonant, every vowel, with each passing millisecond, all without looking at his phone. He could feel his face pale and his fists clench, eyes glazing over as he mentally went through each memory of every interaction. If something was amiss and it was his fault, Jeremy wanted to be held accountable--and more importantly, wanted to apologize for it.

You gave a nervous smile to him and casually drifted away. Usually, he’d ask to touch you, but this wasn’t the right time--he doubted it would be the right time until the end of the night. He still needed to apologize, though, even if he didn’t know what he was apologizing for. But before he could open his mouth, you glided across the first story of his house, almost begging him to go down into his basement. A fake smile crossed your lips as your eyebrows knitted. Something was wrong, but he just couldn’t tell what.

So he followed you. That was the best that he could do in the moment.

As he followed you down the stairs, Jeremy became uneasy in his skin. It settled there, infecting him thoroughly as you stepped carefully in the room, sitting in a beanbag that was set in front of the TV. You sat for a solid 10 seconds before shivering in your seat, eyes almost longing to move to the other one for some particular reason. It felt weird, like when someone leaves a light on during a sunny day, weird like the storm in Life is Strange, weird like first hearing about the SQUIP. He tried to let it go, but couldn’t. There was something about you that felt that kind of different that he usually saw in classes months before he met you--like personally--and probably over a year since you started dating officially.

It lingered in the air around him, tension pulling apart everything you two had worked for at the seams. So he inhaled and took one step at a time. “Did you want to sit in the other beanbag?”

“I’m good.”

Your face refocused on the wall, eyes still, unmoving, as if something cold crawled in them and had died. The typical warmth was absent, and Jeremy still wondered if it was something he did wrong. His heart pounded with anxiety as the words almost swirled out of his mouth. “Did I--?”

“Can I talk to you about something?” Your words cut him off, cutting through the shivering silence. He nodded, palms balling, the impulse to wipe them clean causing his fingers to flinch and flip around in the air. Fuck, he definitely did soemthing wrong. “I know this is like… the third date and I just...want to clarify something with you.”

“Uhh sure!” Too jittery, too excited, calm down you wuss, you’re just going to say something that needs to be said, and it probably isn’t that bad. But a part of him started to say goodbye to you, started to let you go. This felt nonnegotiable. This felt like a weight had dropped into the room, tension setting the gravity lower and lower. “Whatever you think we need to talk about, we can.”

“I know what usually happens on a third date and I just...wanted to say that I’m not really like comfortable with doing that right now”

Jeremy felt his face contort into confusion. If you weren’t comfortable with something, he was totally okay with that. He would do everything in his power to make sure he wouldn’t cross that boundary into discomfort, especially with you, who had been faced with that so many times before. So he sat, and listened for what exactly you were referring to. While he wasn’t sure what the fuck this “third date” nonsense was, he made a silent promise not to do whatever you brought up. He nodded, almost prompting you to continue, but he could still feel that uneasy frown on his face.

“Do you know what I’m talking about? Or should I like… clarify more? I know this isn’t like a known thing, but I don’t know, I just want to like...talk about it.”

“I have to be honest, I don’t really know--”

“Oh.” You paused, eyes meeting the floor, hands beginning to fidget with the fraying of the bean bag. You were still uneasy, visibly uncomfortable. You shook a little, and it almost seemed like you were close to tears. But instead of crying, you gave a chuckle as your fingers combed through the loose threads. “It’s kind of a classic trope on like the third date to like uhh…” Your face became painted with red, the crimson pigment something Jeremy hadn’t seen on you, probably ever. Were you...embarrassed? “like have sex, I guess.”

“Oh.”

The world is said aloud, and Jeremy immediately shames himself for it. It wasn’t supposed to be audible, that was the biggest mistake he’d made, and now he was sure you’d kick him to the curb. Your eyes finally met his, a sharp stare invading his personal space as he sputtered out a more acceptable response. “Well to say I haven’t thought about it would be uhh a lie,”--fuck, that’s not more acceptable, that’s the shittiest thing to say-- “but like I wasn’t going to even bring it up unless you wanted to, oh my god I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything and I mean we haven’t even uhh kissed? And I feel like that maybe should come first because I think we both have boundaries?”

“Yeah.” you nod, almost surveying him as the seconds tick past. Silence falls onto the room, and Jeremy can finally get a millisecond of relaxation, or rather, a peaceful moment in the echoing silence. “I uhh feel the same.”

He nods once again, knowing that while it’s probably good to talk about sex, he probably--defintely. Definitely should not have brought it up. “I’m sorry if I like...crossed a line or something, I really didn’t mean to. I just think like...we should probably do other stuff first and get comfortable with one another?” “Yeah me too.”

“It just feels wrong to push it, you know?” You nod again, and Jeremy feels another millimeter of relaxation hit him, his shoulders dropping, hands returning neutral. “And the third date, really? That seems fast. I mean, who even does that, or even pushes it, especially at like, our age and our point in the relationship?”

“You’d be surprised, Jeremy,” you said, suddenly. Your voice felt thicker, like it was flowing through molasses instead of the clean air coming in through the vents. Your eyes kept themselves trained on the ground, but your hand stopped moving.

“What do you mean?” Jeremy asked, still not knowing the answer, not knowing what the heck is causing this. He just said he would not cross a boundary on your third date, or really, try to not do that at all, unless it was something that had been discussed and that you’d consented to, every step of the way. But it was weird you weren’t changing, not getting more relieved at his words that he genuinely meant. This felt like some kind of trauma, that you were telling him about an event that obviously still haunted you. His mind raced back in time to see if he could figure out what could’ve happened, and more importantly, with who, until he reached a familiar subject. “Oh.”

“He didn’t uhh...He didn’t...like...get too far, but--”

“It was far enough to make you uncomfortable and worry about it in the future.”

“Yeah.”

Jeremy’s fists ball up like they haven’t in a long time, and he can feel his blood starting to boil. Sure, the details were vague, but he wasn’t about to push you to tell that story. He would never push you for more information on this subject. He could feel himself see red up until the point of numbness, like everything was so intensely felt all at once. It was like he was exploring the cave in Firewatch again. And the worst part of it was that he didn’t know what to do. He had nothing. He didn’t even know details, and he didn’t want to know them unless you were open to sharing. It was clear that this was personal--of course it was--it’s private, it’s trauma. “And that was on the--”

“Third date?” You’re near tears at this point, fingers stopped fidgeting as he can see your eyelashes flash quickly, trying to suppress tears. “Yep.” You sniffle before he can continue. Coolness now flows through his veins, like your crying was the extinguisher.

“God, I'm so sorry.”

“It’s okay, I mean...at least I’ve stopped like telling myself it was my fault for the most part.”

“It’s not.”

“I know.” You nod, taking another breath. “Even if it’s just something I say now and believe later, I know. You kinda told me that a while ago, too.”

“Because it's not your fault, even if you have history and--”

You crack a watery smile, mouth still wavering. “Yeah. You’re right, Jeremy.” You pause for a second, almost to compose yourself. It’s short, almost too short, as your voice steadies. You continue, and Jeremy can’t help but listen as his eyes look at the floor, taking everything in. “It’s weird. I remember exactly what I was wearing, the time it was at, the date, everything. But it didn’t come rushing back until after the relationship was over and I had to take a proconsent class for my first year at college.” You take another second. He can hear you getting upset again, and he would offer his hand, but that was too much, even for him, so Jeremy instead gives you a look, sparing mercy on you as his eyes trace your figure that still doesn’t have the heart to look at him full on. “I just feel so stupid that I didn’t just leave him right then and there. Why did I stay another two hours, why did I blame myself, why the fuck did I let him get away with violating me and blaming myself? Because he apologized?” You’re full on crying now, your eyes meeting his as tears stream from them. Your face turns bright red, eyes bloodshot, as anger flows through you and stress with pain make their way back into the room. “I still own those clothes because I hope one day I’ll feel different about them, but it’s been so long that I’ve just been staring at them, filled with bad memories, it’s like I can never forget.” You finally wipe your tears and give yourself another few seconds to compose. By the time you’re finished with a few sniffles here and there, your sleeves are wet from tears, and Jeremy feels like touching you would be wrong in this moment. It feels like everything just moved so fast, and you need your space--the space you didn’t get--right now. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry my rant got out of hand, I didn’t mean to just word vomit like that.”

“No, I uhh,,, I’m glad you said it. I’m sorry that it happened, and I just...feel your pain. I know I mentioned Halloween, and that of course was a little similar, but this--”

“I know.” You nod one last time before you finally meet his gaze. For the first time that night, you smile at him, genuinely through the pain and tears as they subside. Your hand reaches out, and he takes it, knowing that for right now, that is all you want, and right now, that is enough.

#jeremy heere x reader #jeremy heere imagine #bmc x reader #bmc imagine #be more chill imagine #be more chill x reader

26 notes · View notes

picturetoburnnn · 6 years

Text

New Momma? | Michael Clifford x Reader

Pairing - m.c. x reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Warning - mentions of death

A/N - Tbh I love this so much, itts probably my favorite so far that ive written and i just love dadsos so much okay

“Daddy, daddy! I want this one!” The five year old jumped up and down, pointing to the sparkliest doll on the shelf.

“Really, princess? Don’t you have one just like it?” He held the box in his hands, deciding yes, she has one nearly identical to this at home, I just know it.

“She wants a twin,” the little girl squealed, raising her hands in an exaggerated shrug.

“Bells, if this is the one you get, I’m not going to come back and return it when you don’t wanna play with it anymore,” he warned, knowing full well he’d give in to her wishes, if that's what she really wanted.

“Yes, yes, yes, this is the one I want! Thank you daddy!” She hugged Michael’s legs, squishing her cheek against the denim before jumping up and down again.

“You’re welcome baby,” he set the box in the cart, making sure he had everything on his list before heading to the iconic red Target checkout lane. As he placed his items on the conveyor, he heard his daughter speak up.

“Do you think Miss Y/N will play with me when we get home?”

He quirked a smile at her, mussing her hair playfully. “Silly Bella, of course she will. She loves playing with you.”

The girl beamed up at her father, her grin a mirror image of his.

In the parking lot, Bella strayed a few steps away from the cart, causing a small panic to rise in Michael. “Bells, what’s the rule?” He reminded as gently as he could.

“Hand on the cart,” she said almost dejectedly, reaching her hand over to grasp the buggy.

“Thank you, honey. Wanna pop the trunk?”

She perked up immediately. “Yes, please!” Making grabby hands at the key fob in Michael’s she squeaked in delight when it was handed to her. She pressed the button as they got closer, and smiled at the satisfying “thump” of the latch releasing.

After quickly storing the bags in the trunk, replacing the cart, and safely bucking his daughter in the backseat, they finally started back home. The music playing through the car radio was the only sound, which was very unusual. Normally, Bella would be recounting every fairytale and daydream she’s had throughout the day when she’s in the car.

Picking up on the change, Michael asked “What’s on your mind, sweetheart?”

“Daddy, why don't I have a mommy?”

The question stunned him into silence. What could he say? How was he supposed to tell his baby girl, the light of his life, that her mother was gone? That she couldn't come back?

“Your momma got sick baby. The kind of sick that medicine can’t help. But she loved you baby, she loved you so much.”

God, there were tears filling his eyes now. “She… your mother was the sweetest woman I ever knew. She was so loving, and kind.”

“Is she in heaven? I heard Lily down the street saying her nana went to heaven.”

“If there’s a heaven baby, there is not a doubt in my mind, she is there.”

He saw her nod in the rear view mirror.

“Hey,” he called softly. “Don’t let this ruin your mood for the whole day, okay? We can still have a good time, right?”

“Yeah,” she confirmed.

The ride was silent, but a comfortable silence, all the way to the driveway.

“Wanna help daddy carry bags in?”

“Yes,” she nodded, smiling.

From lifting bags from the trunk to setting them down on the kitchen counter, Bella had a slight cloud above her head. Michael nudged her arm slightly.

“Y/N's not here yet,” Bella noted with a frown.

“She will be this evening, though,” Michael told her. Her demeanor shifted immediately.

“Really?” Her eyes lit up. He nodded.

“Is she gonna be my new momma?”

Michael flat out dropped the box of crackers he was holding. “I'm sorry?”

“I wouldn't mind her being my mom. She's nice. Brings me candy.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Michael couldn't help the smile growing on his face. “I wouldn't mind it either, Bells. I kinda want that too.”

Bella faked a gasp. “Daddy has a crush?”

Michael rolled his eyes, playfully nudging the five year old. “Alright there missy, first of all, it's more than a crush, and you know it. If you're a child of mine, you just use proper insults. Secondly, don't pretend for a second that you don't love her too.”

“Well, duh. I never said that.”

The father rolled his eyes, quirking a brow. “You're sassy tonight, what's up with that? I might have to do something to fix that,” he chuckled, holding his fingers out towards her. She knew what this meant.

“No! No tickles!” She giggled as she ran away from her dad on her tiny legs, not near fast enough to outrun him. He swung her up in his arms, running his fingers up and down her sides, reveling in the squeaks and laughter emitting from his daughter.

“What,” came a new voice, “is going on here?”

“Daddy's the tickle monster,” screamed Bella in between bursts of laughter.

“Is that so?” Y/N's hands rested on her hips, lips pursed. “What have I said about tickle fights?”

Michael stopped immediately, feigning innocence.

“Never without me!” The woman shrieked out before starting to tickle the girl as well. Poor Bella now had both the adults in her life tickling her, pinning her down on the couch.

“Stop it, stop it!” she managed out, and slowly the pair withdrew, and turned to look at each other.

“Hello, love, how was your day?” Y/N smiled sweetly, caressing his cheek as she asked.

“Alright. Ran to the store after picking Bella up from Uncle Ash and Aunt Britt's. They said she was good, but might not eat dinner, he fed her so much.”

“No dinner?” Y/N asked, turning her head to the kid on the couch, who had finally caught her breath. “But I was gonna make your favorite!”

Bella gasped, eyes sparking. “Spaghetti and meatballs?”

Y/N nodded. “But if you're too full from Uncle Ash, I guess just Dad and I will eat it.” She shrugged.

“No, no, no, no! I'm so hungry right now, I could eat a whole bowl all by myself!”

Y/N laughed, meeting Michael's eyes once more. “Let me go get change out of my work clothes and I'll start on dinner, ‘kay?”

He nodded. “One condition, though. I didn't get a kiss when you walked in. I feel cheated so I ask for two now.”

She snickered but conceded, pressing her lips to his in a quick kiss. “I gotta change,” she claimed when he tried to steal a third. He fake pouted as she climbed the steps.

Bella gave him a knowing look, but he just told her “Go change into something you don't mind getting pasta sauce on.” She scurried upstairs as well, and he wasn't far behind.

Knocking lightly on their shared bedroom door, Michael entered slowly. His eyes were immediately drawn to Y/N, who was changing in the process of deciding which of Michael's shirts to steal for the evening.

“You didn't let me ask how your day was.”

“Sorry, babe. Go ahead.” She pulled a shirt over her head.

“How was your day?”

“Wasn't great. Eric apparently decided not to tell me the presentation wasn't ready for tomorrow, so I had to add that to my list for today. Garrett called in sick, so my banter buddy was gone. Britt texted me pictures of Bella and Ash together though, so that was sweet.”

Michael smirked. “She asked me the strangest thing today,” he began. “She-”

He was cut off by a yell from down the hall. “Ready for red sauce!”

Y/N giggled. “Tell me after we put her to bed.” He nodded in response.

One delicious dinner, shower, pajama change, and teeth brushing later, it was 7:30, also known as bedtime for a certain little girl in your household.

“Alright sweetie, I'll come tuck you in, just give me one second to finish this up.” A wave of inspiration had struck him, and he wanted to get just a couple lines out as best he could.

“No, it's okay. Can Y/N do it?”

“Sure pumpkin,” she responded before Michael could. “C'mon lets get you to bed.” Ushering the child up the stairs, you winked at Michael over your shoulder, to which he responded with a smirk before turning back to his notebook.

Y/N faced the small shelf of books in the girl's bedroom. “What story tonight, Bells?”

“No story,” she says, quite decisively.

“No?” The woman raised an eyebrow. “You always have a story though.”

“Yeah, but that's daddy's thing. I don't wanna do it without him. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, baby, anything,” she assured.

“Are you gonna be my mommy?”

Y/N's face turned red. “Uhm, that's something your dad and I haven't talked about.”

“I did! He says he wants it a lot,” she told her, beaming.

“He and I will talk about it, Bell-Boo. You just gotta worry about getting some good sleep in you, okay?” She booped her nose, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Goodnight, Lovey. Sweet dreams,” whispered Y/N as she flipped the overhead switch, leaving only the nightlight on.

“Goodnight Y/N,” came the girl’s call back.

Y/N stood at the foot of the stairs, leaning against the wall. Bella's question rang out in her mind like a cry in the darkness.

Michael noticed the shift in her mood “What's wrong, love?”

Y/N hesitated. “You can tell me anything, baby, you know that,” he assured her.

“Bella asked if I would be her mom.”

Silence fell over the couple.

“What did you say?” Michael's voice was so quiet and cracked in the quiet of the evening.

“I told her we'd talk about it. What was I supposed to say? We've never really discussed that and, I don't know, she told me you wanted it too and--”

“She said that?” A smile snuck its way on Michael's face.

A red tint covered Y/N's features. “Yeah, she might've mentioned it.”

A deep, steadying breath, then, “Y/N, you know I love you. I know you love me too. Would it… would it be such an outrageous thought?”

“Michael--”

“I’d just need to get a ring, but ever since I met you, I’ve been happy. I wasn’t happy after… she died but you brought it back, and I knew when I saw you that she wanted me to move on and I did and fell in love again, with you, and you fell too, and you’ve basically helped me raise Bella for the past three years--”

“Michael.”

“--and she loves you too, and you love her like she’s your baby too, I can see it when you look at her, She could call you mom and I’d love it, and nothing would make me happier than if you let me call you mine for the rest of our lives. I love you like I only loved once before, and I want to marry you just as much. Please, honey, tell me I’m not crazy, tell me we can.”

“Michael, okay.”

“Of course you don-- wait what?”

“You want to get married?” He nodded. “Let’s do it. I love it, I love you, I love Bells, and I wouldn’t mind one but to be yours and for you to be mine for the rest of our lives. I know I can’t replace Crystal, I’m not trying to, I’d never dream of it, but I would love to have a chance to make half as much of an impact as she did. I’ll care for and love you both to the best of my ability. Baby, if you’re crazy for wanting to get married, then I must be positively insane because I want it too.”

“I love you, I love you so much.” He wrapped her in his embrace, right there at the foot of the steps.

“I love you too, baby. I love you,” she whispered in his ear.

“I promise I’ll get a ring,” he told her.

“I don’t need a ring.” He pulled away, opening his mouth in opposition. “I don’t. I just need you. You and Bells in my life. No fancy ring and official papers, just the two of you.”

He leaned his forehead against hers, the two of them breathing the same air, touching in such an innocent yet intimate way. “I’m still gonna get a ring for you,” he informed stubbornly.

She giggled, and the sound was like music to his ears. “If you insist,” she conceded. “Just promise me that you’ll let me love you and Bella for as long as possible, and I’ll let you get me a ring.”

“I promise baby, and I swear we’ll love you too.”

The couple sat in silence for a bit, bodies scrunched up to sit on the steps, hearts swollen in love and gratitude. Until Michael said, “So which of us is gonna go tell Bell she was right?”

The young woman groaned playfully. “She’s gonna hold this for years. ‘I knew you’d be my mom, I called it!’ I can hear her voice in my head, right now.”

“The joys of raising a child, I’m afraid.”

“I wouldn’t change a thing,” she mumbled.

“No? Then you can tell her in the morning, and I’ll deal with the relentless ‘I told you so’s.”

“Deal,” Y/N whispered, a soft smile gracing her features as she turned her face to Michael.

Michael’s expression mirrored her own as he sealed it with a quick press of his lips to hers.

“I love my little family,” he mumbled against her. And it was true. He would fight tooth and nail, to protect his girls, and he wouldn’t change it for anything.

#michael clifford #michael 5sos #michael clifford x reader #ashton 5sos #ashton irwin #calum 5sos #calum hood #luke 5sos #luke hemmings #5sos x reader #my writing

135 notes · View notes