i love liliya shes such an important oc to me i wish i was more eloquent with words i wish you could all see into my mind to see what she represents :(

han jisung + smut

☾

request; can i request jisung roommate au which they are both rival word count; 2.7k words warnings; enemies to lovers!au, roommates!au, orgasm denial, semi-public sex

Black Shirt

You drag your heavy suitcase throughout the corridors of your campus, a white sheet of paper with black scribbles made by your friend to guide you through the hostel dangling carelessly between your fingers. She had already found her room, which she shared with a guy; something absurd for your conservative mind.

No doubt, you had guy friends, but you never even thought of sharing a room with the opposite sex, let alone actually doing it. Your new hostel had such a policy though, and they justified it by saying that it would ‘help them come out of their bubble’ and all that. You were anticipated to meet your new roommate, hoping you would click with him soon.

—

Yeah no, that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

Especially when your roommate was going to be Han Jisung; your rival since 8th grade. You didn’t just dislike him, no. You two loathed each other. All the synonyms of hatred combined still wouldn’t be near half of how much you despised him. And unluckily, he ended up being your roommate for the next two years.

There was no turning point in your lives where you just started hating each other. You two were overachievers. Anything one would do, the other did better. Not only did it lead to the growing feeling of distaste in you two, but it also did something good. Put you two into amazing universities in the country. 

But the fact that you two ended up in the same room as well, your friends kinda knew what they were going to be facing soon. 

The second you enter your room, the only thing leaves your mouth is, “What the fuck?!”

Jisung looks at you, snarling and clicking his tongue as he sees you at the doorstep with your red suitcase in hand. You knew where this was leading to, but you liked watching his face turn red in anger. You liked watching his face in general, though.

“You! You followed me here too!” he cried, pointing a finger at you as he stood up, slow steps walking towards you.

“Um, no? This shitty piece of paper brought me here? Also, why the hell would I ever follow a dickhead like you!”

“You know what? Just—”

“Hey there! What’s with all the yelling?” another voice calls from the kitchen. A taller male with blond curly hair walks up to you two, eyebrows quirked up in amusement. He eyes the two of you as he picks up his bowl of cereal, walking round the island top and leaning against it as he digs in his breakfast.

Jisung groans and storms to his room, leaving you and Chan alone.

“I’m sorry, he gets his period once in a while. Do you guys know each other..?” he laughs, swirling his spoon in the white bowl.

“Yeah, we went to the same school for a couple years and stuff—”

“Oh so you’re friends! Tha—”

“No. I hate him. He hates me. He sucks and we’ll hate each other until he dies.” you cut him off, dragging your stuff inside the living room. You hear a ‘You suck more!’ from Jisung’s room, and Chan chuckles. He helps you with your stuff and shows you your room, instructing you about the small details of the place. 

—

It was time for dinner, and you heard your stomach growl. With a little help from Chan, you were able to almost set up your room by the end of the day, and now you were starving. The delicious aroma of flavor rolls by your nostrils, and you take in a long breath. You place the pile of books neatly where you wanted them, and trudged towards the kitchen, where something was cooked.

You saw Chan and another girl, mindlessly humming and wiggling their hips to some song playing softly, their backs facing you as they cooked pasta. You quietly walk forward, but somehow the girl hears your footsteps and turns around to acknowledge you.

“Hey! You must be Chan’s new roommate! Come, have a seat, dinner’s almost ready!” she squeaks happily, smiling as she returns back to cooking, the loving grin not leaving her lips.

You set up the table and sit down as the girl served the delicious food onto your plate. Chan sits next to you, and the girl sits closer to him. 

“Oh, I forgot to introduce myself,” she giggles as you’re about to start eating. 

“I’m—”

“Saerom! Hello~” Jisung exclaims as he trudges out of his room, making his way to the table. He glances at you and pokes his tongue out, but before you can retract, the girl, or Saerom, starts.

“So, I’m Saerom, and I’m Chan’s girlfriend! He told me about you earlier, I hope we can be good friends!” she speaks as you all start eating. You didn’t have heart eyes for Chan, but you didn’t expect him to have a girlfriend. But then on the other hand, he did have the looks and brains to have ten.

“Sure! The food’s great by the way,” you speak mouthful, devouring the best dinner you’ve had in weeks.

You and Jisung act like you don’t know each other, and you keep talking to Saerom and Chan about regular school stuff. You felt Jisung shaking his legs under the table, restraining everything in you to not yell at him to stop. Then again, he might as well be doing it to piss you off.

His leg hits yours— and to be very honest, your whole body was sore from all the work you had done today, and you were exhausted. Jisung’s kick pisses you off even more and you kick him back, trying to be as subtle as possible.

“Yah! Why’d you kick me!” he asks, eyebrows raised and fork shifting in his hands as if one wrong move and he would stab you. 

“Excu— Me? Your dumbass purposely kicked me when I was clearly minding my own damn business,” you counter, pissed off at his audacity.

“I didn’t hit you, I hit the table leg!” he defends, and you scoff, amused if he was being serious or shocked if he was comparing your leg to the table’s.

“Hey hey, now, let’s have a nice dinner, yeah?” Chan muses, grinning as he sees the two of you fighting like preschoolers. You finish off your food, occasionally glaring at Jisung who does the same, and wash off your dishes.

“Thank you so much for today! The food really was delicious,” You compliment, and Saerom and Chan call out a ‘good night’ and ‘thank you!’ as you walk off to your room.

—

“Yes! Fuck yes!” 

You couldn’t hold in your excitement as you jumped up and down on your bed, hands holding the paper Chan had given you. After weeks and weeks of assessments and projects, you were finally shortlisted into the University’s International Representatives team. It was a huge honor for you, and you couldn’t stop yourself from feeling all these emotions. 

Chan has to hold you by your arms and pull you down when he starts hearing the weak bed squeak under you, afraid that the furniture might break under your actions.

“I’m so happy! Oh my God this has to be the best day of my life.”

“That’s great! Now y/n please go to bed it’s pretty late and you have the interview tomorrow,” Chan sighs, looking up at the clock.

He wishes you night before signing off for the day, heading to his room retiring for the night.

—

You admire yourself, twirling around in the red pencil skirt and black dress shirt you’d worn for today’s interview. You were totally going to ace this, and nothing could stop you. You hop on into Saerom’s car as she told you she could drop you off for your big day. 

You walk inside the dimly lit restaurant, a fresh smell flowing through your lungs. You feel confidence rush through you once again and you smile, walking into the hall. The receptionist asks you if you needed a reservation or if you were here on invitation. 

“Yeah actually, I’m here on invitation. I’m here for the interview for the University of Seoul.” you reply, tapping your heels on the marble tiles. She kindly directs you to a table not far away, and you thank her before walking towards them.

There was a female teacher you recognized from your lectures, and the other was a random man you’d never seen before. You smile and greet them, sitting in front of them.

“Good evening, y/n! How is your day going,” your teacher smiles, shuffling through some papers. You talk about some basic daily events, possibly to get you to be comfortable with them. 

“So we’re waiting for another student, so when he arrives, we’ll— here he is! Welcome,”

You turn to look at who the student was and your jaw almost drops down. It was, of course, Han Jisung. Of course, he was here too, ready to ruin this for you as well. He looks at you with a blank stare, eyes immediately dropping down to your exposed thighs. You turn back around, mentally crying at what you thought was going to happen.

“Great! So we’ll start off with the interview now. We’ve seen your reports, and we’d like to hear from you, how would you tackle situations based on international conflicts...”

—

So far you've done pretty well. You couldn’t deny, Jisung was a good speaker as well; he almost impressed you with his answers. You noticed how his eyes close up to crescents when he would smile widely, the small grin everlasting on his face. His honey skin basked under the glow of the yellow lights paired up with the soft sunset glow from outside the restaurant. 

His hand rests on your right thigh and you snap out of your daze, shifting your eyes back to the teachers assessing you. All your attention which was on them snaps when you feel the hand on your thigh rise higher and higher. You feel goosebumps rise on your skin where his fingers touched.

At this point, the two older professors at the other end of the table are busy discussing something among themselves, and you can’t really excuse yourself from this mishap. Jisung’s fingers rise higher and higher, and he briefly looks at you and you slowly nod, approving his actions. He gladly moves ahead, smirking as his fingers are dangerously close to where you wanted him the most.

He feels the lacey material of your panties on his fingers and decides to tease you, running his fingers up and down the damp fabric that stuck to your folds uncomfortably. You slowly grip his wrists, signalling him to work his way quickly without the teasing.

He smirks at your eagerness, pushing your panties aside and prodding his fingers at your hole, using your slick to coat his fingers. You sigh softly, clenching your fists under the table. He pushes his index finger inside, slowly thrusting in and out of your hole. You bite your lip to hold back any sounds as his finger curls inside you. He maintains his steady pace pumping his fingers, his ring touching your walls every now and then making your toes curl. 

He adds in two more fingers at once and you almost yelp, stomach churning in pleasure. Your walls clench around his fingers and he continues his sinful actions underneath the table. He places his thumb over your clit, pressing down on the nub. You feel your high approaching, legs bouncing up and down as his fingers keep thrusting your leaking hole. You’re about to let go the knot, when—

“Thank you for spending your time with us, students. We’ll talk about this in the next few days. I’ll keep contact…” and the rest of the words spoken by your professor are a haze as frustration of your lost orgasm takes over. You force a smile, bowing and thanking the older for their time. Fixing your skirt, you and Jisung walk out of the restaurant. You rush ahead of him, and he follows close by. He opens the door of a cab, motioning you to sit inside before himself plopping in, directing the driver to take you to the dorms.

The ride back is extremely quiet, and all you think of is having sex with Jisung.

—

Luckily, Chan and Saerom were out for a study date, so you had the whole room to yourselves. Just as the door clicks open, Jisung pushes you inside along with him, locking it shut before pressing you up against the door. 

“Fuck y/n, you look so hot in that dress,” he moans, grinding his hips onto yours. You turn your head back, moaning at the feeling of his lips latching onto your neck, his clothed member grinding against your wet heat.

“Plea— Please Jisung, just fuck me already,” 

He unbuttons your dress shirt, tossing it onto the floor before pushing his lips against yours. You moan at the plush feeling of his lips on yours, teeth biting your bottom lip. He licks your lip and pulls away, breathing heavily. There’s a tug on your wrists, followed by Jisung pulling you to your room. 

You quickly skim out of your pencil skirt, watching Jisung as he unbuttons his shirt. He walks towards you and you lie down on your bed as he crawls up to you. He leans down to kiss your shoulders and you feel his hard-on on your thigh. You arch your back as he goes lower and lower on your body, kissing and nipping at your skin.

He knows Chan won’t be out for long, and so doesn’t waste too much time foreplay-ing. He pulls down your panties, harshly rubbing his fingers on your cunt. You yelp as his nimble fingers spread open your folds. All you hear in the room is his breathing and your soft noises, paired with the soft wet noises his fingers make in your cunt.

He prods his fingers at your hole, circling at your folds. You whine at his tease, bucking your hips in his grasp. He chuckles breathily before pushing two fingers in at once, curling them upwards to hit the spots that had you moaning in no time. Innumerable curses and groans leave your lips as Jisung pumps his fingers in and out of you just like he had done in the restaurant.

His silver ring touches your walls and you shiver, your action not going unnoticed. He draws his fingers from your convulsing hole, bringing down the cold ring on your clit and pressing it gently. You whine at the sweet pleasure coursing through your veins due to the stimulation, your vision turning blurry from the tears in your eyes.

He licks his lips before removing his dick out of his boxers, pumping it a few times and rolling on a condom before pushing it into you. You grip the sheets tightly as he enters inside slowly, filling your walls deliciously. He wasn’t too big, but was of perfect girth and size to satisfy you.

He is balls deep in you, and he feels his head spin as your walls squeeze around him. He places his hands on either side of your head, making eye contact with you and kissing your jaw.

You feel him slowly pulling out with a whine, before slamming in gratingly. You scream as he sets a quick pace, thrusting in and out of your tight hole. You clench around his length and you both moan at the tight feeling in your abdomen. Your head spins as you reach your high, Jisung’s pace slowing down as well. His thrusts reach deeper in you, finger drawing rough circles on your clit.

You release around him, your warm orgasm coating his dick. You both moan at the sensation, Jisung following soon after. He comes hard, filling up the plastic. He stays that way for a moment, plopping himself on you. 

You hear the front door unlock, Chan’s voice booming through the halls.

“I’m home!”

Fuck. Your black shirt was still out on the floor.

—

a/n; i’m kinda pissed with how this turned out lmao jsdhjs ALSO my series is in progress! i’ll start publishing it when all my requests are done :)

taglist; @ffelixxie​ @cherryeol04​  @stayletters​​ @yooniversalstudios​​​ @bruh-changbin ​​(message me if you want to be added!)

Fate and Fortune

A Lesson in Probability

Part 11.5

Here’s Part 11 but you can read all the previous parts in the fate and fortune tag

So this is not plot relevant at all but this is a pretty explanatory way of understanding Vera’s stand as well as Vera and Polnareff getting to know one another a bit better.

Moots: @fyre23 and @risottoneroo

Basically gambling and rambling, enjoy. (Also no proofreading- today I die like a dumbass)

Vera tapped on Polnareff’s shoulder, slipping on her earrings as she waited for him to wake up. He blinked up sleepily at her in disbelief. His gaze shot over to the alarm clock on the bedside table.

“Come on, we’re going gambling.” Was all she said before she moved to the door where a suit for a particularly large gentlemen was ‘accidentally’ delivered to his door.

“Midnight? Vera, what are you-“

She laid the suit down on the foot of the bed- switching on the bedside table light. “Polnareff, we’re in Dubai- the casinos here are immaculate. Please? I promise I can make you win some SERIOUS cash.”

He looked at her, slack jaw in disbelief. “You can’t be serious.”

“We’re leaving tomorrow and it’s still a conservative country so I couldn’t go on my own even if my age allowed it- I’m begging you.” She folded her hands in front of her in feigned pleading.

And after he shook himself awake from what she actually guessed was disbelief, he got up. “Alright, alright.”

“Thanks, the taxi will be here in half an hour.” Was all she announced before disappearing into the bathroom where she was putting on make up. The last swipe of red lipsticks on her lips had just been applied when Polnareff’s gentle knock came from the other side of the door.

Her hand wrapped around the door knob and opened to the fully dressed Polnareff. “Oh I do have to applaud myself, I guessed your size pretty well, didn’t I?”

Polnareff fiddled angrily with his loose bow tie, “Why didn’t you take any of the others?”

She moved in, taking over tying his bow tie. “Because the others- as much as Jotaro’s poker face would have been useful- would have snitched on me to Mr Joestar. And Mr Joestar wouldn’t approve of this because well-“ she shrugged. “I’m not done with school yet and already raising hell.”

“Ah I see- you think I’ll keep quiet.”

She only shot him a glance as she was finishing swiping off any lint from his shoulders. “Not necessarily- you’re kind of impulsive and this is impulsive so I figured you’d simply understand.”

With an encouraging pat on the arm she moved past him. “I’m going down for the taxi and a smoke break while you finish freshening up. She was on her way to the door when her feet stopped and she turned back. “Speaking of cigarettes...?”

“Top drawer on the left.”

“Thank you.”

Vera admitted that more than anything, she wished she had a better grip on this guy. Sure, his misadventures gave her a chuckle occasionally but the way he bounced back from grave situations made her ponder if he ever felt anything. If he didn’t- it was somewhat a cause of concern.

She took her ID out about halfway to the casino and used Fortune to change her birthdate.

Polnareff leaned in closer to watch the number blur and reamaterialize like a vision clearing itself. “Now how does luck have the ability to do that?”

“Printing mistake.”

He blinked at her. “You’re going to have to elaborate.”

“Simply put, Polnareff- there’s a small chance that my ID got misprinted, past the quality check and then got sent to me in the mail. The probability was highly unlikely but so is most of the stuff Fortune can make happen.”

The wheels in Polnareff’s head seemed to click and place and he let out a long ohhh.

“So- I’m guessing your stand has always been able to make such specific probabilities come true?”

“Oh not at all-“ she handed the security her clutch purse and her ID, standing to let them pat her down before ‘eagerly’ returning to Polnareff’s side. “There was once a time when I just hoped for the first card from a deck to be a chosen suit. Now, however,” she started leading him towards the chip exchange. “Now I can have Fortune predict and adjust the entire deck.”

She had Polnareff slide in a clip of money- her entire savings- as a total of £3000.

“Starting small, tonight?” The man behind the counter asked as he brought out the chips.

Polnareff seemed appalled at the idea that 3K was a small start but Vera jumped in instead. “It’s just a casual evening for us- we’re traveling in the morning.”

“Are you sure about this?” Polnareff asked, the worry evident on his face. “This is a lot of money you might lose completely.”

“Unlikely- you’ll just have to trust me.” Was all she said as she moved towards the blackjack tables first.

They were offered Champaign by a passing waiter, and just in time for their first deal. “You know how to play, right?” She whispered into his ear.

“Of course I do.”

She smiled down at him, trying to convince the dealer that were at the very least interested in each other’s company. “So you won’t need me, I’ll just be your lucky charm.”

The Roulette wheel was where she knew they’d start making big winnings, it was also where Polnareff started to understand the entertainment aspect of the evening. Gambling was a peculiar art of gathering enough competitors to make your play worthwhile. And Vera using herself as eye candy was exactly what they needed.

“What do you think, my dear? Am I an utter fool for betting that high?” He spoke perhaps a bit too loudly.

“I don’t know- is Lady Luck on your side?” She retorted.

“I can never tell- she looks an awful lot like you sometimes.”

She laughed it off, seeing a crowd gather in their peripherals.

“So- that what it feels likes to have your Fortune changed. Not quite as natural as I thought.” Polnareff had told her as they left the Black Jack table.

She laughed, counting the chips into the little velvet bag. “I suppose it would feel strange to you. I don’t know I’ve always seen it as a bit boring.”

“Boring? Boring how?”

They watched as the little white ball shot of the table master’s hand, running around the edge of the Roulette wheel. Vera couldn’t be bothered, she was focused on the black seventeen on the wheel. Focusing Fortune’s attention on that.

“As strange as it seems- probability and human choice kind of go hand in hand. One can sometimes influence the other...”

The speed of the ball slowed down, everyone around them held their breath as they waited.

“Sometimes it’s some ingrained instinct for us to go for even numbers- other times it’s a rigged game.”

The ball slipped into the black seventeen.

“But it’s not knowing the outcome that makes Fortune an invisible god.”

She and Polnareff leapt up and hugged each other as the crowd around them either cheered with them or sighed in defeat.

“50K for the duo in black.” The table master slid the chips across the board towards them.

Polnareff’s eyes widened as he pulled the chips closer. “Another game?”

Vera drummed her fingers on his shoulder, making him look up at her. “What do you think, Jean? Another game?”

She squeezed his shoulder just to make sure he understood they won’t be leaving the table. He gazed at her a moment and then turned to the table. “Well I suppose another game couldn’t hurt.”

“Why did you let us lose?” Jean groaned as she split the money into 15K each. Their winnings had decreased after the fifth game of Roulette and then got back to 30K at the slots. “I thought you had full control.”

“I do, and I didn’t let us lose, I made us lose.”

They had just left the casino and was walking back to the hotel- which wasn’t that far.

Polnareff spluttered. “Bu- But why? We could have walked out with millions!”

“From just 3K starting point, wouldn’t they find it awfully suspicious?”

She groaned as she bent down and climbed out of the heals she’d been walking around in all night.

“There have been worse cases, haven’t there? What about people winning the lottery and such.”

Vera looked back at him, his wide blue eyes begging for answers. It made he laugh for a moment. “Jean, you don’t actually think casinos are made for you to win in right? They’ll only let you succeed that much, anything more and we’d be in the interrogation rooms right now. Also-“ she started removing her earrings and slipping them into his suit pocket. “Isn’t 15K enough?”

“Don’t I owe you 3K?”

“No? Where’d you get that?”

“Well you gave the starting bet didn’t you.”

She scoffed, walking away from him. “I couldn’t have done it without you, Jean. You do possess that real entertainer’s talk so... thanks for that.”

“Come on- we need to get back to the hoTEL!”

Polnareff sprinted past her, grabbing her clutch in his hand and stuffing his money into her purse.

“I don’t want to hear another word about this- the money is yours!”

It took a moment for her brain to catch up and when it did she was after him. “Jean! Jean, it was a team effort! The guilt is gonna eat me alive!”

He ran ahead of her- getting much faster simply due to his height. “No no no no no! I won’t hear it!”

“Jean! I’m wearing stockings and a dress! This is not fair!”

“Promise you’ll keep the money!”

“Never!”

She phased him back with Fortune just close enough to hop onto his back- clinging on for dear life. “I told you, I don’t want it.”

“So why make me go in the first place?” He panted, resting his hands on his knees, Vera just hanging onto his back for the ride.

Vera’s breath returned to her, but the answer didn’t. Polnareff waited it out, the silence suddenly becoming oppressive.

“Truth is Vera, I don’t know you very well. And from what I can tell is that you’re not a particularly emotional person.” He put a hand over hers on his shoulder. “But Mr Joestar has told me why Avdol’s death hit you harder than me. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. Especially in Pakistan.”

The mere thought of it made her nauseous, her grip on his shoulders loosening. She slid off his back and stood staring at the pavement- hoping she could stop the tears from coming. “I just wanted to take my mind off things. I didn’t care if I was going to pay for it later.”

The admittance felt like it broke a dam behind her eyes. The tears flowing freely. “I’m just so tired.”

Polnareff let her have a moment, her shoulders quietly jerking as she cried. “Do you want to talk about it? I’d love to get to know you a bit better, and not from what other people tell me about you.”

She sniffed, lifting her head to meet his gaze. “Look what you’ve done to me, Jean! My make up is a mess!”

He only laughed, offering her a handkerchief. “Come on, I’ll abba* you home.”

She accepted after wiping away some snot and black stained tears under her eyes.

“So- where should I start?”

Jean only nodded or hummed in understanding as they walked back, not saying much. Vera speaking freely about her life for the first time in a long time.

“Alright, so to summarize- you’ve discovered Fortune can make any probability of their choice come true, you can heal because you can make some time move forward or back, that same time skip thing is also where your phasing ability comes from, and you’re incapable of effecting anything about Dio specifically. Any idea why?”

“I have a suspicion it’s because he changed his own fate with becoming a vampire. Some curses are too ancient for even me to interfere with.”

“Okay so, you’ll have to explain to me again- how does phasing work exactly?”

“Think of it this way- right now, I hold my shoe in my hand.” She lifted up the black stiletto in her hand over his chest. “Now what I do with this shoe depends on what I decide to do with it. I can decide to drop it, toss it up in the air, put it on, give it to someone jogging by- whatever. Once I decide that is the path I want it to experience, all it needs is time to do so. So I decide I’m going to toss it a few feet ahead of us. It’s going to take a few seconds to get there, yes?”

“Yes.”

“So all Fortune does is skip that time and move it straight to the time it will be laying on the floor ahead of us.”

She proved the point by demonstrating. “Got it?”

“Ahhh so THAT’S also how you heal people.”

“Now you get it.” He picked up the shoe and handed it back to her.

“So uhhh... why is it giving you grey hairs?”

Her head turned to press her ear against his back. “Time, it seems, acts a bit like money. To skip the time I have to pay the time. My body basically makes me pay for the months of healing I spare other people.”

“Are you sure? Why is it only showing now?”

“Because of the shock I suppose. I kind of wonder how many years I’ve shaved off my own life at this point. Besides- I think it’s more for moving time forward. Moving time back just gives me bad luck, I think.”

He hummed in understanding. “I see, by the way, how’s your nose?”

“Getting less blue thanks for asking.” She laughed.

The sight of the hotel lobby was her que to hop off and get back into her heels. They walked along the hallways in the hotel once more- exchanging stories of their childhoods before they were back at their doors. She gave a tired goodnight and a thank you but Polnareff called back from his room door. “Vera, I know what the corpses told you must haunt you but- I think your parents would have been proud to see where you are now.”

“Stop making me cry!”

She gave him the most authentic smile she could manage and said. “I think your family would be proud of you too.”

*abba- I might expose myself here but where I’m from, this is what we say when we piggyback someone. It’s the one local slang I think sounds cuter than piggyback lol.

Survey #281

“is there a method to your madness, is it all about pride? ‘cuz everyone i know, they’ve got a demon inside.”

Has anyone ever told you that you looked like a celebrity? No, just a video game character and an animated movie girl when I had black hair. What color is the pillowcase(s) on your bed? Brown. Do you have a favorite day of the week? Tuesday because it’s reset day in WoW and as a mount farmer, that means I get to try my raids for the week again to continue to be denied. :’) Have you ever been in an art show? An art show, I don’t think so. I’ve had two or three things in an art museum, though. Would you consider yourself to be well-exposed to life or sheltered? I’m pretty split down the middle, I’d say. I’ve seen far more emotional pain than I think most young adults have, but at the same time, I’ve very under-exposed to adult experiences. How high is your pain tolerance? It depends on the type of pain. I can particularly say I do NOT handle stomach pains well, though. Have you ever played the game Halo? Nah, those weren’t my type. Have you ever had to learn lines for a play/skit/movie? Only songs sung together for plays in elementary school. Never solo. Do you like your nose? … Sure? Kissing someone with facial hair, do you mind? I don’t care. Would you ever like to be a stunt person? I’m fucking dumb, I read this and thought “you mean little people?” until I read the last person’s answer lmaooo. Anyway, no. I’m not ballsy enough for that shit. Are you a pyromaniac? I find fire pretty, but it still can scare me if I’m too close to it. Are you one of those people who listen to songs on repeat? 110%, it’s literally what I’m doing now lmao. Can any of your friends sing very well? SARA. Would you ever enter any kind of pageant? No, no, no, no. I really don’t support pageants of any type I can think of, beauty in particular. What a way to scream “HEY THEY’RE BETTER THAN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, again, especially in beauty pageants. That fucks people up. What a way to start things like self-loathing, eating disorders, body dysphoria, etc. Do you have piano fingers? Mom has always told me that, “like Grammy.” Have you ever slept on a beach? YIKES, no. I ain’t fuckin’ with the tides going in and out or just a massive wave. I’d also feel WAY too vulnerable. Would you like to be taller? I’m cool with my current height. Are you a fan of piercings on the opposite sex? I just like piercings in general. Have you ever been attacked by an animal? No, besides play getting too rough. Is there a movie that makes you cry every single time you watch it? It’s easy to do that lol. The Notebook in particular will 100% make me tear up. What's your opinion on Johnny Depp? He’s an incredibly talented actor that I find very attractive, but I don’t know him as a person. Can you speak in different accents? Just British and southern. Who was the last person you mocked/mimicked? My nephew, playfully of course. If you write, isn't writer's block the most horrible thing? THE ABSOLUTE WORST. What size shirt do you normally wear? Ugggghhh generally 2XL, I think. It can be one size smaller or one size larger depending on the shirt. Has anyone ever aimed a gun at you? Yikes, no. Have you ever written a song? Just poems. Do you believe there is life on other planets? It’s possible, but I don’t particularly lean a certain way, I think. The universe is just… infinite, you know? But also the circumstances that life rose within Earth were so remarkably perfect to support it that I don’t entirely know if it’s been duplicated elsewhere. When was the last time you fell? Around two weeks ago? I have extremely low blood pressure naturally but also amplified by medications’ side effects, and I got out of bed too fast when I woke up. Hurt my knees pretty bad and barely missed my head hitting the couch. Do you have any sort of debt? I do NOT want to think about this. Is there a specific time period that interests you? The era of dinosaurs of course, as well as the Renaissance, just to name a couple. Do any of your friends own an expensive car? *shrugs* Have you ever been on a train? No. Have you ever been in a parade? No. Are you, or anyone you know, an atheist? I know plenty. Have you ever sent a celebrity fan mail? No. Have you ever been in a musical? No. Is there a friend's family that makes you feel like you're family too? Yeah, Sara’s. Even though I’ve only been with them not that long of a time, they’re wonderful and made me feel so welcome. Do you ever have a fear of getting close to new people? Boy, do I!!!!! It’s funny though, because at the same time, I want to be close with people; I want to rush to the point I have a close friend. It’s weird. What is the worst things about work? N/A And the best? N/A Do you like to sleep in? Not really, honestly. I feel groggy and lazier than I naturally am lmao. Do you like to be an early bird? Well I’m in my best mood in the morning, but I don’t like waking up early. However, I’ve been planning a morning routine to adopt once we move that involves waking up at like 7 or so, so we’ll see how much I enjoy mornings then. But oh boy do I have a habit of saying I’ll do something and then not doing it, so… What is something you notice you just don't watch? History stuff and usually action. Last thing that bothered you even if just a little bit? Something Miss Tobey said to me a few days ago. Last thing that seemed a blessing from above? I don’t believe in supernatural “blessings,” but I’ll bite. The thing that made me happiest recently was uhhhh… I actually don’t know. Nothing that REALLY felt “blessing-ish.” Do you usually drink diet or regular soda? Regular; I can’t do diet. It tends to taste horrible but more importantly the artificial sweetener gives me a wicked headache. Are you on a diet? Not a diet, no. I’m more so just trying to make it a habit to simply eat better and not snack. Someone you highly respect who is not in your family? Sara’s dad. Did you say 'goodnight' to anyone last night? I don’t think I did. Does anyone ever comment on the appearance of your handwriting? People tend to point out it’s really nice. Have you looked at anyone's Facebook profile lately? Whose? Nah. Did you have a cake for your last birthday? What kind? Yeah, red velvet. Can you recall the first horror film you ever watched? How old were you? I actually don’t think I can. Maybe Paranormal Activity? Or The Blair Witch Project? When’s the last time that you mailed a letter or a package to someone, and who was it to? Sara’s bday gift I think. The last book that you checked out from the library? I haven’t done that in years. What was your pet’s last vet visit concerning? Roman got neutered, and the only time I took Venus to the vet was when I first got her and she refused food for almost a year. Changed the tactic of warming the mouse up and she was more than happy to snag it. Which animals do you tend to go check out first at the pet store? The reptiles, because they’re closest and also my favorite section. Last medication or item that you picked out from the drugstore? Nicole picked up a bunch of my prescriptions that needed refilling. Do you usually have a big list or a small list when you go to the grocery store? I don’t do the shopping here, so it’s not my choice. How much was the last check you deposited? How about the last amount that you took out? I have no clue. Have you ever been admitted into the emergency room? For what? Being suicidal and then a suicide attempt. Have you ever been arrested before? Ridden in the back of a police car? No to the first, but yes to the second because that’s just how you’re transported from the ER to the psych hospital here. Have you ever been a victim of a house fire? Thank God no. When did you graduate high school? 2014. How much gas can fit in your gas tank? N/A Does your vehicle break down a lot? N/A What’s the longest you’ve ever had to wait before being seated at a sit-down restaurant? I want to say at LEAST 45 minutes once. Can’t remember why it was so busy, though. Have you ever had a cavity before? How about a root canal? A tooth pulled? Braces? I’ve had cavities and braces, but thank Christ no root canals, and I’ve never had to have a tooth pulled by the dentist, either. Which art forms do you appreciate the most? Man, you can’t ask this to someone who enjoys art so deeply. Like I really don’t know what I enjoy *most*. Music can give me chills, poetry can be so rich and, well, poetic, and traditional artwork strikes awe and makes you wonder how they do it. I just adore art. What is your favorite zoo animal that you would like to set free? To start, I have very mixed feelings about zoos, but I guess I am *mostly* in favor of humane, adequately providing captivity to a certain degree as this allows for conservation of especially endangered species, and zoos also make it easier to study and understand the silent voices of those we share the earth with. As well, they offer a safe environment to expose the fearful to all sorts of animals, and I feel it is very, very important for humans as the alpha species to care for and understand (as best our language barriers allow) our wonderful neighbors. That being said, I definitely believe that a lot of zoos under-provide for their animals, and this is horribly heartbreaking so that I absolutely disagree with their “right” to own and display animals, but for this specific question, I am going to use my state’s zoo as the standard here. Ashboro, imo is pretty damn great and generous to their animals (you should see the miles of land the elephants, bison, antelope, and rhinos have!), but the exhibit that comes to mind first when mentioning animals I’d like to set free iiiis… you know, I don’t know. I was going to say the polar bears since it can get STUPID hot here in the summer and their abode doesn’t have a great amount of ice that survives the sun, but at the same time I’d be very wary about returning a polar bear home for… obvious reasons. I say “I don’t know” because I’m not gonna pretend to know what ample space is for so many different kinds of animals. Damn, now I really wanna go there. Wow this was a long answer to a p simple question lmao. Favorite kind of fish? I don’t have a distinctly “favorite” fish, really. I don’t know enough of ‘em, but I can say I really like clownfish and angelfish. What kinds of museum artifacts fascinate you? Whew, as someone who took Art History just last year in school, ancient art pieces of all sorts! It is so, so fascinating, watching the evolution of art and to see how the urge to just create extends so, so far back into history. Have you ever gone to court before? For a disability case, yes. Also to convince a judge that I didn’t need to stay in a mental hospital for I think the original plan was around six months. What is the last song that you danced to? Ha ha I watching Hotel Transylvania with my niece and nephew and did the macarena with ‘em. What’s your favorite alcoholic drink? Margaritas or sangrias. Is there anyone that you’ve visited in jail? No. Are you more likely to fly in an airplane, or pick people up/drop them off at the airport? Historically, pick people up. Which sporting event would you be most likely to sit through? Dance competitions. Favorite flavor of ice cream? Cone or dish? Any sprinkles? My favorite Basic Bitch flavor is vanilla, just with chocolate syrup. Cone or dish just depends on what I’m feelin’, really. I hate sprinkles on anything; the texture throws me off. Have you ever cut your own hair? No. What do you eat most frequently? Uggghhhh some form of bread, probably. Are you a fan of video games? Yeah, but not as much as I used to be. What's your favorite color combination? Idk really, I like a lot. I will say though that orange and black excites me bc Halloween Vibes. Did you share a locker at school? No. What's one sport you could never play? Wrestling, ew. Have you ever sung karaoke? Oh god no. What is the oldest age you think should wear makeup? lmao BRO tell me this a joke How old were you when you went on your first date? Idr, sometime in the 7th grade, if group dates in middle school even count? lol Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? Yeah. If so, who? An ex and probably doctors at some point? Did your parents sign you up for anything you hated as a child? Sunday school, really. Have you purchased any cool objects from a foreign country? Considering I’ve never left the country, no. Are you on a laptop or a desktop computer right now? I only have a laptop. Do you remember anyone's number by heart? No, but I seriously need to memorize my mom’s. Do you live above, below, or on the Equator? Above. Do you know how to use Photoshop? I know how to do a decent number of things, but I’m definitely no expert. Where was your first job? I was a sales associate at GameStop. What's the best place you have ever eaten? Olive Garden is fucking fantastic, fite me about it. Do you own a hair straightener? No, I don’t need one. Are you barefoot right now? I always am at home unless it’s cold enough to need slippers. Are you subscribed to any magazine? Nah. Do you need AC right now? No; it’s actually pretty cold inside rn. Do more people call you by a nickname or your first name? It’s just a derivative of my first name; “Britt.” But I guess that classifies as a nickname. Name something you're proud of. Deciding to actually *try* to move on and making massive progress through it with That Person. Lately I’ve wondered if I truly have, though. My PTSD has been really bad of the late. Does any accent annoy you? I can’t say it “annoys” me, given you can’t really control your accent, but I do find it difficult to understand extremely southern accents, even as a local. Do you take vitamins? This just reminded me I’ve been out of my Vitamin D prescription for a while… oops. I’m supposed to take it for my legs. When was the last time you took aspirin or some other pain reliever? Yesterday, actually. I had a pretty bad headache. When was the last time you deeply regretted something? God, last night, I was remembering and accepting some things. Lemme just say I regret the everloving fuck out of the subject. What is something that you regularly wear that makes you stand out? Besides my lip ring, nothing in particular. Do you prefer small birthday parties or big ones? Small. I just don’t like big gatherings in general. What song are you listening to now? “Creatures X: To The Grave” by Motionless In White. What was the most traumatic experience of your life? The breakup w/ Jason. I’ve told the story enough in surveys and I don’t wanna recite it again. Who was your childhood best friend? Brianna. Are you still friends now? On Facebook, anyway, but we don’t talk. If not, why? We just drifted apart. What is one career you don't think you could do no matter how much it paid? Butcher. No fucking way. Have you ever edited Wikipedia? No. Have you ever edited any other wiki? Oh yeah; I’m an admin at the Silent Hill wiki and have invested hours upon hours upon hours helping out there for years. I’m also a content moderator at the Team Ico wiki, and I’ve also assisted a lot at the meerkats wiki because it is a fucking grammatical and formatting catastrophe. I think that’s it? Wait no, I did a few fixes on the Dragons of Atlantis wiki when it was still at the Kabam website, too. Is there a website [besides social networking] that you check almost daily? Yeah, a few. Do you get scared when you know some virus or sickness is being passed? I wouldn’t say I get scared, no. Just more aware and cautious. What’s the worst illness you’ve had? I’ve had a fucking wicked stomach virus before. (TMI alert?) I would not stop puking to the point it was agonizing to the point of tears because my muscles were so exhausted. Which do you prefer: M&M's, Skittles, or Reese's Pieces? BITCH can I choose all???? But in almost any chocolate-related case, I will choose a Reese’s product. Where on your body would you never get a tattoo? I don’t plan on getting a face tattoo, or at least a big one. Maybe something small and cute. OH YEAH EW absolutely never getting my sclera tattooed. That looks painful as a motherfucker. Honestly, have you ever stuck gum under a table or desk? No, that shit is disgusting. If your parents could read your thoughts, would you be in trouble? Not usually. Mom might be mad sometimes when I’m angry at her. Have you ever egged somebody's house or car? No, that’s childish as shit. My childhood house was egged once, so it pisses me off especially. Do you like licorice? UGH no, that shit is disgusting. Did anybody ever read bedtime stories to you when you were younger? My mom did. Which natural disaster do you find the most terrifying? Tornadoes or earthquakes. Do you have a favorite Johnny Depp movie? What is it? Alice in Wonderland. If I gave you a Yo-Yo right now, could you do any tricks? Nope.

The Thoughts I Cannot Say - A series of fictional adult NSFW stories.

Chapter 1 - That Girl

I expected every head to turn when I walked by. Not because I was that gorgeous, although I was, but because I was charming. I fuckin knew it. I don’t sound modest, but truly I’m kind. I enjoy people. All people. I think there’s something interesting and wonderful about us all and that’s what makes me so charming. It’s one of my best qualities. I’m also a celebrity photographer, celebrity personal massager, and I tend to be unlicensed therapist for a few of them too in my spare time. I guess you could say, I know the right things to say to people. It gets me what I want.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I sat, swinging my legs in the barstool I was at. I was throwing a “movie” party for lack of a better term. One of those parties where people are doing drugs, dancing, the music is blaring, there’s tons of people inside and outside, and cars line the street for blocks, and anything that wants to happen -does. As I mentioned earlier, I enjoy the company of people, and especially party people. I consider myself socially conservative, but I’m able to get out of my comfort zone with people who know how to party.

One of my favorite parts about parties was dancing, for two reasons. One, I loved dancing with men. I dressed sexier when I planned to party with a man. It worked every time. I dressed sexier, because when I begin twerking or grinding my body against theirs, I can feel their chest widen and breath slow down. They stand closer and begin rubbing you slowly. The second reason was dancing with women. I dressed & moved more androgynously or masculine when I planned to dance with a woman. I wanted it to be very clear my sexual orientation, just to keep things as clear as possible. Now, I loved dancing with women because everything about the process was an aphrodisiac. It starts with a flirty stare and subtle grin from a reasonable distance. If she wants to dance, she’ll begin walking toward me, to which I then begin to walk to her. She thens sees me about to speak and cuts me off by dancing. She pulls me closer to her and rubs her body against mine. She smiles occasionally then goes back to a doe-eyed, pursed lip smirk. It gets me every fuckin time.

At tonight’s party though, I hadn’t danced with anyone. For the first time actually, I’d been a bit tipsier than usual. I was just sort of smiling and yes, dangling my legs at the barstool. I grinned at my friend Olly, who was the bartender, he handed me another drink. I winked and proceeded to drink it. I then flashed my phone light twice towards the DJ, and signed to him “Start up the R&B”. And I do mean signed, we have found it easier to use sign language than screaming over the music. That’s another story though.

“Freak me” by Silk began to play and the crowd harmoniously said “Ahhhh shit” and began two-stepping with their drinks to the dance floor. I turned back to the bar and kept drinking. As I’m sipping this drink, I can feel myself getting more and more relaxed. The music started sound better and better, and I began to get that feeling; the one that makes me go dance. I sat there though, smiling while I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. The room felt perfect. Just as I began to sway, I felt lips against my ear and teeth on my earlobe. About to melt into the chair, I opened one eye and look up to see a gorgeous, caramel skin girl with curly hair. At the sight of her, I got butterflies, and she fuckin knew it. She blinked slowly and sensually as she lifted a blunt. She knew me too fuckin well. I patted my thigh and she stood in between my legs. I moved her hair around from around her neck and kissed it while she lit the blunt. I sat back and could see her breathing slowly, it turned me on. I kept watching her as she raised the blunt to her lips and began inhaling. She liked doing this to me, because she knew I was reserved. By reserved, I mean I had rules.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

When flirting or pursuing a love interest, I do not smile wide, show teeth unless biting a lip, raise both eyebrows - only one can emote at a time. I don’t speak much unless I have to, I prefer silence. I also, do not make any official first moves. If someone does not pursue me, then the situation stays as is. Permanently.

When I met her, however, she made me break a few of my rules. The one about using both eyebrows, smiling wide, and pursuing others. I first saw her at another one of my parties. This was probably 6 months ago. It was probably around 10:30 to 11p.m, so upbeat music was still playing. She was dancing pretty hard with her friends and laughing. Her laugh was the first thing that caught my eye. Second, she danced well. I liked that, made me want to dance with her specifically that night. Third, I had never seen her at any of my parties before. I could only she her face and upper body and glimpses of her legs, because she was covered by the people around her. I was sipping a drink and smoking with my own friend, Wes. He pointed towards some folks he knew, we nodded and he walked away. I stayed in place, casually smoking, and watching this mystery fuckin beauty dance in my house. I turned to a couple girls who walked past me and smiled, I tipped my blunt. In that moment, she must’ve walked walked away because I didn’t see her or 2 of her friends. Just as I began walking toward the bar to give Olly the rest of the blunt, she tapped my shoulder and gestured for me to follow her. Raising both of my eyebrows I pointed towards my chest and she sauntered away playfully. I followed her down the hall.

My basement, where my parties were, was large and long. There was 17 ft bar on one side and a large open floor area with mirror walls everywhere else. There were couches and colorful lights. It sort of looked like an upscale strip club now that I think about it. Either way, there was a glass door that led to outside on the opposite wall; a hallway specifically with bathrooms and lounge rooms, and then the part where we were at- the other hallway. My other hallway had all locked doors. They consisted of my different studios and then my art room. As I got closer to her she grabbed my hand and put it on the keypad. She covered her eyes and smiled. I typed it in and we went in. I had my art room specially made. The ceiling is made to always look like a galaxy, and the walls are all screens too. There are paintings, magazines, glass cases with stuff in them. The room was also sound proof, so Olly or I could escape during the party or any of my closest homies for that matter. It’s like being in a dream world, and that’s why I have it.

When I looked at her, she was grinning and looking in every direction. I couldn’t help but smile too. She made me feel like it was my first time being in the room. She pointed towards the speaker and I nodded. She grabbed the aux and began playing “Can U Handle It” by Usher. Then sat on the carpet by the coffee table and began rolling a blunt.

“Holy fuck, am I tripping right now?” I thought to myself, keeping my composure. I intimidated most people. Most people can’t take the ominous silence I put them through, but she was doing it to me. I rolled my shoulders back and went to sit behind her. She smelled heavenly. A mixture of complimenting perfume and good weed. She sat back a little and brushed her side against my leg. I just watched. I didn’t even know what to do, because this night was going amazingly. I wasn’t even in charge and everything was fuckin going perfectly.

After she was done rolling up, I leaned forward and grabbed the ash tray from out of the table’s drawer. She stood up, turned around, and straddled my lap. I leaned back and put one arm over the back of the couch, and caressed her thigh with the other hand. We then began smoking. She would look at me then chuckle and look down followed by a hair rustle. I did my best to only smirk and not smile, but she was getting to me. We ended up smoking a few blunts to only the sound of music, while she sat on my lap. Occasionally we’d laugh, but no words were spoken.

At the end of the night, she gathered her things and walked towards the door. She called her friends who said they were just outside chatting & smoking with others and said she was coming to join them. When she hung up I stood up and smoothed my clothing. Before walking out she tilted her head at me, and slowly wrapped her fingers around my throat. She learned forward and bit my bottom lip then turned to walk out. All I could fuckin do is place my hand calmly on my forehead and stand there. This has never happened before. Not only do most men or women throw theirselves at me sexually, they throw theirselves at me. They’ll talk about theirselves, ask me questions, ask to bring their friends, ask to see my things, and more. It lessens the chase for me. I said earlier I do not pursue, and I meant that. This girl though, she was a fuckin dream. She was what I didn’t even know I wanted. I was so stuck on her that I waited for her every party. She didn’t come back for a while though. I saw her friends occasionally but never her. I thought I must’ve dreamt the whole thing, because of how fuckin perfect and sexually tense it was. Well, I felt sexually tense and when I met her the second time, I knew she did that to me on purpose.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Coming back to the present now, she was still standing in between my legs. I massaged her lower back and brought her closer to me when she drifted. When we were done smoking her blunt, I had Olly make us a drink with two straws. I got up, holding her hand, and walked with her to my VIP corner couch. It consists of a couch on a platform, surrounded by a double sided mirror. I sat down and started to roll a blunt myself, while she began to dance slowly. The first few beats of “Would U Mind” by Janet came on and I was flushed with butterflies. The idea of this gorgeous fuckin girl dancing for me while we smoke & relax was too much. I kept my cool though. She rolled her body until she went into a squat in front of me. Taking the hint, I leaned forward and grabbed her chin. She got dropped from her feet to her knees slowly in front me. I couldn’t help but whisper, “Good girl” as she stared me in the eyes. She bit her lip and I kissed her. I proceeded to choke her while she kneeled in front of me. I was sitting on the edge of the couch positioned over her. Dominance & submission. I knew she fuckin knew what she was doing. When I let go of my grip, she took my hand and pressed in between her legs. I leaned back continuing to roll and mouthed, “Good.” She took a deep, slow breath while arching her back. We sat in the V.I.P until the party was over, occasionally sipping and smoking. I kept thinking to myself, “I hope she doesn’t leave me high & dry again, not again, please not again.” I got my wish. We fucked that evening after the party. She was the one.

big five personality test (wc: 797)

openness/experience

straight off the bat, i think this is a little too low for jaein but with the way that the test questions were given, i think her getting a low score on the test itself makes sense

see, when it comes to sticking with experience and being practical, jaein should have a much higher openness level than suji. yet, suji got the higher score because she has a great appreciation for the arts and a lot of the questions on this test itself had questions referring to arts and stuff like that

jaein could care less about the arts, but it’s not like she enjoys the sciences either. they’re both subjects that she doesn’t think too much about while living her life on earth

so in that case, i guess the lower score also makes sense? abstract art and complex ideas give her a headache. jaein does enjoy the simple things in life, but she’s not a i always have to stick by the rules kind of person either. she wouldn’t be dating someone so early on in her career if that’s the way she thought

i think the score for this should be a little higher aka closer to a more neutral score but again, i blame the arts questions. it’s simple a discipline she doesn’t care about

conscientiousness 

this is her more higher leaning scores and that makes sense. jaein’s conscientiousness comes mostly out of habit though. being born the eldest of four in a conservative family means that she was always expected to have fun later and keep up with her goals right now 

i actually think this score would have been a lot higher back when she was living in daegu, but she got out of her family’s reigns once she started attending college in seoul so she’s loosened up a little

however, old habits are hard to break so jaein’s quite goal oriented and likes to look at the long term effects of her actions. it’s engraved into her no matter how much she tries to live a #yolo life

extraversion 

again, this score definitely makes sense. jaein’s like 48/52 when it comes to e and i

she enjoys spending time with the people she loves and feels a little safer in the company of other people, but she would not last long in an overhyped crowd at like a rock concert or whatever. it would simply be too energy consuming for her

just like anybody else, she needs that time alone in order to recharge herself, but she can also recharge herself in the company of someone else as long as the atmosphere is a little more quiet

she’s also not afraid to start up a conversation or anything so that explains her middle score in this category 

agreeableness 

along with conscientiousness, this is another category that i think scores high only because it’s been engraved into her from a young age

she has a habit of putting other people before her because that’s what she was forced to do since she was young, and she’s never gotten the chance to escape it by being named ultraviolet’s leader as well

she’s constantly having to be the person that levels out possible arguments among the people around her, she has to be middle man a lot which has made her pretty much trained to choose harmony over pursuing what’s right

in that aspect alone, she probably could have scored higher in this category, but she’s not super sympathetic to other people’s problems. not that she doesn’t care but she also... doesn’t care enough? like she’s the type of person who will see some sad documentary and feel bad perhaps during the time she’s watching it but then the feeling quickly disappears

neuroticism 

a rather neutral score only because jaein doesn’t feel a lot of emotions. let me explain that 

as written above, i think a lot of her emotions are kind of short-lived. she feels things in the moment but then kind of forget about it when something else is being shoved into her head

but she’s also really good at avoiding her negative emotions. she complains quite a bit (especially when it comes to her career) because that’s something that she feels she can speak up about. however, you won’t see her mentioning all the negative thoughts her parents have engraved into her from a young age because she tries to push those thoughts out

so the middle score made a lot of sense to me as jaein’s mun because while she seems really calm and collected and in control of her own emotions on the outside (and she is for most of the part), there are specific subjects or emotions that she’ll pretty much pretend don’t exist until the day she dies or something