Exponential improvement - Miguel O’Hara x reader
Warnings/tags: Tutor!Miguel, college AU. Reader is bad at math. Reader and Miguel aren’t actually together, it’s more of a first meeting type thing.
In which, Miguel finds a hill to die on.
Unfortunately for you, that hill is teaching you how to graph Logarithmic equations.
You had made it through highschool math, but just barely- and at the cost of more than a few all-nighters and tear filled study sessions. Math was never your best subject, to say the least. But to be fair, was it anyone’s?
You told yourself this class would be different, that you wouldn’t let yourself get behind, that you’d study, that you’d buckle down and do what you needed to do to get a good grade in the class. But none of that mattered, because despite your best efforts, you were failing.
And god, it felt horrible. You were too embarrassed to ask for help- it was the easiest math class there was- the one considered so basic and fundamental that it was required for every degree track. You knew others were failing, you even knew some had dropped the class in the first week. But that didn’t stop the steady build of shame and self hate that slowly but surely wore you down and left you hanging by a thread.
Then, that thread snapped. You had put blood, sweat, and tears into studying for this test. You stayed up nearly all night going over your notes and the test review. You practiced graphing and crammed every available scrap of information on quadratics, polynomials, and rationals into your head. You even spent the morning of the test watching YouTube videos over your weakest subjects- endlessly reviewing in the hope it would make some sort of difference.
But it didn’t matter. You failed the second test. Barely, yes- you got a 68, but that was still a failing grade, and now you’re halfway through the semester with a 64 and feeling completely helpless about your situation.
You tried, you had studied so hard- and yes, the 68 brought your grade up, but you couldn’t help but feel defeated. Was it so bad that you had expected a little more pay off than a 68? You had ran yourself ragged for that grade, how in the world were you going to get anything higher?
So, you gave in and admitted you needed help.
The campus had a tutoring program that you had known about for a while. Maybe it was embarrassment over needing help, maybe it was your own pride, or maybe it was just plain stubbornness, but you had held out in the hope you could raise your grades without help. But after the latest test, you gave in and signed up for the program.
So here you were, sitting in the tutoring room, waiting for your assigned tutor to show up.
The room was about half full- with each student-tutor pair spread out across the room. The company of others helped calm your nerves, but you couldn’t stop your leg’s anxious jittering. You hardly knew anything about the guy, just that he was in the process of obtaining a masters degree in genetics- and good enough at math to tutor it.
You’re scrolling through your phone- only half paying attention to TikTok as you watch the doorway out of your peripherals, waiting for your tutor to arrive.
5 minutes to 6:00, a man walks into the classroom and sits down at your desk, holding out his hand and introducing himself as Miguel O’Hara. You take his hand, making your best attempt at a strong, confident handshake as you introduce yourself in turn.
You didn’t know who you were expecting, but it definitely wasn’t this. The man, Miguel, is massive: built like a quarterback and taller than everyone else in the room by a long shot. He’s wearing jeans and a simple sweatshirt with the college’s logo. His face is set in a blank, slightly judging look, and his presence just feels straight up intimidating.
You already had your notes and worksheets out and waiting on the table, and Miguel takes notice. He sits down next to you, tugging the top paper in front of him and clicking his mechanical pencil as he scans over the homework.
Before you have a chance to say anything else, Miguel starts, speaking quickly and in a level tone. “Logs? That’s understandable. It’s really quite simple once you get it.”
You open your mouth to respond, but before you can, Miguel scoots closer to you and slides the paper in front of you, tapping the eraser of his pencil on the first problem.
“Go ahead and do this one for me so I know where you’re at.”
He’s pressed close to you, close enough that you can hear his breathing and feel the heat radiating off his body. Miguel seems completely unbothered, his eyes focused on the problem as he waits for you to start.
You pick up your pencil, hovering over the paper as you stare at the problem and urge yourself to think in the hopes you’ll not make yourself out to be a complete idiot immediately.
Graph the following functions. Find the x-intercept, the vertical asymptote, domain, range, and end behavior of each.
1) f(x) = log3(x + 3) + 1
You struggle to work out the problem, and you try your best. But, Miguel hovering over your shoulder and watching you like a hawk as you work out the problem is really not helpful. If anything, it’s stressing you out. Especially with how close the two of you are- with his thigh pressing against yours under the table. You know he doesn’t mean it like that- that he’s not trying to do anything. But if anything, that just makes it worse.
In the end, you give up, setting your pencil down and letting your eyes fall to the floor. “I don’t know where to start…” you say, sitting back in your chair, trying to ignore the creeping build of defeat and embarrassment from the depths of your mind.
Miguel nods, clicking his pencil again and getting the lead to the length he wants it. He leans forward, taking the pencil to the paper and scribbling numbers in barely legible chicken-scratch as he talks you through how to solve the problem.
“Well, looking at this, we know the asymptote is at -3 and we know b is 3…”
Miguel trails off as he draws a dotted line to the left of the y axis. You’re sure there’s a stupid look on your face right now, because Miguel has barely said anything and you’re already lost. You lean foreward, sitting up straighter in your chair in order to look over his shoulder and see what he’s writing. But all that dose is confuse you more, because Miguel’s handwriting
“Then, we can just graph the 1 0, b 1, and 1/b -1 points and move them around…” Miguel pauses again, this time to draw 6 points on the graph, then connect 3 of them with one line and the other 3 with a second line.
“And once you have it graphed, the rest is easy. We already found the asymptote, you can plug numbers in to find your x-intercept, the range is all real numbers, the domain is the asymptote to infinity, and your end behavior is just the same as the parent function.” Miguel finishes speaking and filling in the blanks on the worksheet, looking towards you and nudging the paper in your direction so you can see it easier. “Ready to try the next one?” He asks.
You stare blankly at the worksheet in front of you, still trying to catch up with Miguel and figure out what the fuck he had just done, but the mess of poorly written numbers and lines did nothing but confuse you further.
Miguel watched you for a second before sighing and nodding. “… you don’t get it, do you?”
And that’s how you found yourself still sitting in the now empty tutoring room with Miguel over 2 hours after you were supposed to have finished.
Not that it was your fault. You tried to give up after the 6th time one of Miguel’s explanations left you more confused than you had been before, but the man wouldn’t let you leave. When you tried to gather your stuff to call it a night, Miguel grabbed your wrist, pulling you back down to your seat and stating that “he was going to teach you how to graph logarithms if it was the last thing he’d do.”
And by god, it might be the last thing he ever does, because Miguel was looking worse for wear at this point.
Dark circles underlined his eyes and dark wayward strands of hair framed his face. About an hour ago, he’d pulled out his glasses- stating that the eye strain was bringing on a headache. He was hunched over the mess of worksheets and scratch paper between you- his phone propped up against his water bottle and playing a YouTube video that tried to explain logarithmic transformations to you for the nth time of the night.
You were trying your best to pay attention- you really were- and Miguel was doing everything he could to help. He’d pause the video often to ask whether the way the person explained it made sense or to peek over at the problem you were attempting to solve and make sure you were on the right track.
You’ve made progress- you actually knew what a logarithm was now, so that was good. And Miguel had related logarithmic functions to exponential functions in a way that just barely made sense- the only hurdle left to clear was being able to graph them.
And god- it was a big one. At this point, you were ready to give up- and were just waiting for Miguel to let you.
Your eyes drift back down to the YouTube video playing on Miguel’s phone. The words playing from the phone’s speakers go in one ear and out the other. You can hear them, but they sound more like a foreign language to you than a subject that you’ve spent the past two hours trying to grasp.
You narrow your eyes- trying to focus on the words of the man in the video- willing to do just about anything just be done and be allowed to go home- you’re considering faking a family emergency when all of a sudden, it clicks.
Maybe it’s the caffeine from the soda you got from the vending machine, maybe it’s the way the YouTube video explained it, or maybe it was your dead-tired brain being so desperate to be done with math today, that it simply manifested an understanding of logarithms into itself.
Regardless, you got it.
The secrets of the universe had been revealed to you. The power of the mathematical cosmos was at your fingertips. You felt on top of the world, and you couldn’t help the giddy smile that spread across your face as you ducked down, working out one of the problems on your worksheet in an effort to test your theory.
Miguel hardly noticed as you started working through the problem. The poor guy looked half asleep as he blankly stared ahead at the video playing on his phone.
You finish the problem, grinning wide as you hold the paper up and tug on the shoulder of Miguel’s sweater. “Miguel! I did it!”
When Miguel turns to you, his face lights up. “You did it?” He asks excitedly- his normally stern, or at the very least calm, expression is split by a massive smile as
“Yeah! I understand it now!!” You reply proudly- beaming as you stand up and hold your hand up for a high five.
Miguel stands- nearly sending his chair toppling backwards as does- and you quickly realize your mistake as his open hand hits yours with a loud smack that sends a stinging pain across your palm. Miguel doesn’t seem to notice how you wince. “See! I told you it wasn’t hard!” He says, still grinning wildly as he pulls his glasses off and folds them, hanging them from the collar of his sweater.
“Oh shush.” You scoff- the tension from the rest of the evening no more than a distant memory now.
Miguel laughs- the kind of deep, light hearted laugh that makes everyone else nearby smile- and he runs his hand through his hair, getting the wayward strands out of his face as he picks up the worksheet you’d solved the problem on, looking over it. “Yeah- you got it right.” He confirms.
“I still need some more practice with it I think…” you add, trailing off.
“Well, not tonight.” Miguel says, nodding. Starting to pack up his stuff as he clicks the power button on his phone and checks the time, cringing at how late it’s gotten. “I kept you pretty late… sorry about that.”
You laugh, nodding. “Yeah. Definitely not tonight…” you pause, trying to keep your voice level as you speak your next words. “But, I’m free Tuesday?” You say, more as a question than a statement.
Miguel looks down at you- the remnants of his earlier excitement settling as a soft smile as he speaks. “How about the coffee shop by the residence halls? Around 4?”
You nod, a giddy feeling bubbling in your chest at the thought of seeing Miguel again- outside of the tutoring room too.
“I really am sorry I kept you so late. I didn’t realize how long we’d been at it.” Miguel says, his eyes flickering to the side for a minute- but the split second of nervousness is practically over before it even begins. “We’re probably heading the same way so… I’ll walk you to your car or the residence halls- or wherever you’re headed.”
You grin, packing up your own things before slinging your backpack over your shoulder.
“I’d like that.”
201 notes
·
View notes
"devotion"
andreil, rated t, <500 words / series: flashes of intimacy
Neil sees Andrew across the dining hall first, but it doesn’t take long for Andrew’s eyes to meet his as he scans the room. Andrew swipes his card, then takes a circuitous route to the buffet to pass by the table Neil shares with Nicky and his vice captain, Vanessa. Knuckles brush across the line of Neil’s shoulders, and he tips his head back to watch as Andrew passes by. He only has fifteen minutes between classes on Tuesdays, so he’s just here to grab food and go.
Vanessa pretends to gag, and Neil throws a french fry at her. Vanessa catches it in her mouth, because she is a freak.
“Let them be cute,” Nicky admonishes. “You don’t know what they used to be like. I was convinced it was a hate-fucking thing for months.”
“Okay, but Aaron says you were the most oblivious about them,” Vanessa says to Nicky, stealing another of Neil’s fries. (Neil doesn’t complain — his plate is full of them.) “He says you were so focused on Neil’s sexuality that your gaydar broke.”
“Please tell me Aaron actually used the word ‘gaydar,’” Nicky says.
“Indeed,” Vanessa says through her chewing. “He said it in a mocking way, if that makes more sense. Full of negative connotation.”
“You know, I’ll take it,” Nicky says. “The point is: I was wrong. Neil and my dear cousin fell in love at first sight.”
Neil snorts, remembering how he used to fantasize about punching Andrew in the face. “Hardly.”
“They can be in love away from me,” Vanessa decides. “I’m too lonely to witness the cuteness.”
“We aren’t cute,” Neil says, wrinkling his nose.
Vanessa shakes her head. “You’re right — you guys are on a different level of sickening. It’s the devotion of it all. You’d, like, die for each other.”
Neil is saved from responding when a plate of baby carrots and hummus drops down onto the table in front of him. Andrew’s hand falls to Neil’s shoulder as he leans in from behind Neil to whisper in his ear: “French fries are not a meal, rabbit.”
Andrew brushes his mouth against Neil’s cheek, and then his warmth is gone. He’s already walking away, face forward, by the time Neil can turn his head to look.
“Devotion!” Vanessa repeats, flinging her hand at the plate.
Neil raises an eyebrow at her. “Carrots are a sign of devotion?”
“They symbolize the long, healthy life he wants to live with you,” Vanessa says. She drops her face down onto the table. “Meanwhile, I will die alone.”
Nicky pats her shoulder. Neil’s eyes are drawn across the dining hall again. Andrew glances over his shoulder just before he gets to the doors, throwing up a middle finger when he sees Neil already looking.
Neil smiles. Devotion. Sure. They can call it what they want.
this series is on ao3
444 notes
·
View notes
death, rebirth, new life
summary: uh zhongli gets nerfed, you get some new friends, xiao has a crisis of morality(?)
word count: ~3.2k
-> warnings: major spoilers for xiao lore, like very major. spoilers for liyue archon quest. not much else
-> lowercase intended!
taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @thehoneymushroomhealer || @imyme20 || @bittersweetorpheus || @vampirecatsw || @willburzone || @some-mildly-happy-human|| @yourlocaldrugdealerbutfancy || @inmyprinceerafr || @depressed-bitchy-demon || @kithewanderingme
<< first part || < masterlist > || next part >>
zhongli allows his weapon to fade back into golden dust, his mind involuntarily comparing it to the way you dissolved before him.
they were quite similar. after he’d pulled away his polearm, you had sent him a final smile as your body disintegrated into white flakes, much like his spear had, the water rushing back to fill the space you’d left. it had surprised him, because he’d expected you to fall into the black smoke that hilichurls did. unless he had made some sort of…
no, he tells himself, shaking his head. you deserved it. to wear a face that wasn’t yours, to defy his god so, his actions were entirely jus-
a spike of pain drives into his lower back and zhongli reaches behind him with a hiss, feeling for whatever’s hurt him only to land on the glass of his fake vision. it stings through his gloves, and he’s quick to yank it off, uncaring as the string it’s hung on snaps. the small gems on it scatter, but he’s focused on the glass in his hand.
or, rather, the floor. his hand still hurts from the pricks of invisible needles it stabbed into his skin, and he wasn’t keen on holding it any longer.
“what’s wrong?” hu tao comes up to his side, hand landing on his shoulder. “are you okay? is your vision?”
“it’s nothing.”
discretely, he tries to turn a pebble on the floor in front of him. he tells himself it’s nothing, he knows it’ll work, he just needs the confirmation for himself, since if a fake vision could react like that..
“hey, don’t worry about it. the dead need to stay that way. whoever that was, i trust your judgement. i’m certain you did the-“
she cuts herself off with a pained cry, her shoulders jerk back as her hands reach for her back, her face twisting in pain. zhongli takes a step over his ‘vision’, turning her by the shoulder to see what he knows but doesn’t want to believe.
her vision is glowing brightly, the diamond-shaped gem heating up the metal around it. he wastes no time in removing it from the clip holding it in place, though he has to drop it as well from the heat. it burned her jacket, and she’ll certainly need a new one, but that’s not what he’s worried for.
after all, the stone hadn’t moved.
the sun stung your eyes through your lids, forcing you awake if only to move to a more shaded area. the ground beneath you was hard but not harsh, warmer than wuwang hill by a long shot. you were tempted to stay, to allow yourself to slip back into sleep…
something squishy bumped into your right arm.
you pushed your eyes open, pulling at the numb strings of muscles in your arms to help yourself up. you were sitting in a stone… building would be too generous. there were four pillars and a roof, with a ramp to your left and a staircase in front of you.
and immediately to your right, the object that bumped you earlier, is a small dendro slime.
wide orange eyes peer up at you, the sight cute enough for you to forget your aches.
“hey,” you mumble, reaching a wobbly hand to nudge against its side. the slime chitters, hopping into your lap, and you notice something shining in the leaves atop its head. it doesn’t seem bothered, only pressing itself further into your hand with a chirp that nearly sounds apologetic.
“don’t be sorry.” you move your hand to pet over the stems on top of it, the slime’s eyes slowly beginning to close. you feel something hard beneath your palm, and move to see what it is. in the center of the slime’s head is a small tangle of grass, something golden shimmering in the center. you’ve never looked really hard at the models in-game, mostly because they’re always attacking you, so you’re not sure if this is meant to be there or not. maybe they’re like crystalflies, with a core in the middle? but why be exposed…
the slime chirps in your lap and you move your hand away, a ‘sorry’ on the edge of your lips when it stretches to move the tangle between your fingers. did it want you to fix it?
you tilt the slime towards you, but you don’t have a chance to try. as you watch, the tangle undoes itself, cradling a golden ring between the stalks. it looks about your size, with a small blue gem embedded on one side. the slime makes a soft noise, the ring sliding forward as it tilts.
“for me?”
you picked up the ring at its affirmative trill, sliding it onto your finger. it fit as good as it looked, surprisingly. where had the slime gotten a ring your size, let alone know it would fit you?
the slime looked up, seeking a response, and you smiled.
“thank you, little guy. it’s beautiful.” the slime visibly grew happy, hopping lightly in your lap, and you couldn’t help but laugh. it looked so excited, orange eyes beaming as it twirled itself into a little circle. how could they be enemies?
“where’d you get this?”
your question didn’t dampen its excitement—a surprise, since you expected it to have stolen the ring—and it only hopped off your lap, moving halfway down the staircase before looking back at you.
using the pillars to support yourself, you stood, wincing at the combined pain of old wounds and sleeping on rock. as you carefully move down the steps, you hope that the slime wont lead you to some poor merchant’s cart.
the small slime hopped along a dirt path, and you took the time to look around. behind you to the left was a large pit, for lack of a better word, a tree growing in the center on a platform surrounded by water. if you had to guess, you were probably still in liyue, just more south. the horizon was dotted with spires, and you think you see something like the jade chamber off to the left of your current path. it’s hard to tell, given the distance, but…
the sounds of humanoid chanting reaches your ears, and you startle for a moment before hearing the trademark woo! of an abyss mage. the slime stops, checking on you, but you just give it another smile as you continue to walk. so it got it from hilichurls, then? odd, but better than stealing it from somebody. it was in remarkable condition for being from hilichurls, though…
the slime leads you onto some rocks, and you can see the camp just below you. an abyss mage turns as you approach, the red film of a shield beginning to appear around it before it recognizes you. it was a small camp, only a handful of hilichurls around, and they all crowd you as you climb down the rocks.
the abyss mage chitters in a language you don’t understand, its red ears flopping as it gestures. it finishes with a deep bow, looking up at you, and your face twists in apology. luckily, it seems to get it, pointing to you before waving you into the camp. you take its hand and let it lead you to a crate to sit on, watching as it turns to the rest of the group and says… something. nonetheless, the hilichurls seem to get it, all nodding. the abyss mage puts its hands on its hips, satisfied.
the dendro samachurl says something to the large mitachurl, who nods, hefting its rock shield and standing near the entrance of the camp. the samachurl then pulls over another hilichurl as it walks to you. its staff is more at eye level with you than it is.
the samachurl chitters beneath the mask, and the hilichurl besides it—you assume, based on prior experiences—translates.
“unu boya ika zido mosi aba nunu,” it says, pointing further down the path, where you can barely see a wooden structure.
now, your hilichurl isn’t the best. in the beginning, you learned somewhat, but definitely not enough to know the entirety of what it just said. you catch the word for enemy and some sort of time word you think means later in the day, so that together with the gesture.. you’re hopefully assuming that it means later in the day there will be enemies, likely the millelith, over that direction.
you nod. the hilichurl seems proud of itself.
the samachurl continues, much shorter this time, and the hilichurl holds out a hand.
“muhu mita?”
ah. those ones you know just fine.
you accept the offer of a meal and let it walk you to a rock near a campfire, listening as they talk to each other. they bring you food and share more amongst themselves, the electro shooter waving its bandaged hands in a story you didn’t try to decipher. the heat of noon begins to fade after an hour or two, and though the campfire is now embers and your wooden plate is empty, you’re content.
the dendro slime from earlier sticks close to you, shifting as close to the dying fire as it dared whilst being out of range of the jumping sparks. it wasn’t particularly cold, only around 3ish by your best judgement. the sun still shone in the sky, washing over sand and stone and the things that sparkled under it. there was nothing to worry over, nobody near, and the mitachurl and pyro grenadier were still guarding the entrance. it was a welcome respite.
you hope it’ll last.
xiao pulled his polearm from the body of a hilichurl, picking a tuft of matted red hair from the jade edge. the shattered remains of its mask fell to the floor as its body dissolved, but he just stepped over it, dismissing his weapon. the boy from qingce was uninjured, the hilichurl grenadier had fallen, and his work here was done.
“-jianguo, what are you doing out here? you should know better than to wander near wuwang hill!”
xiao rolled his eyes, hoping the fading debt of the hilichurls would dissipate faster. he couldn’t leave without endangering the child or his mother, but he wanted to leave earlier sometimes, if only so people would learn not to wander into areas they didn’t belong.
“but mama, all the hilichurls fled to wuwang hill! our charms worked!” the small boy triumphantly held up a small piece of paper, sloppily colored gold with some sort of crayon. shaky black penmanship made a crude imitation of a sigil of permission, a hilichurl’s mask in the center. or, at least, he assumed that’s what it was. children…
“no, jianguo, hilichurls don’t listen to your sigils! just… just stay away from wuwang hill, okay? say your thanks to the nice man who saved you and let’s go home.”
the boy turned, wide eyes fixed on him, and xiao checked that he had absorbed enough of the karma for it to be safe before teleporting away.
he landed on unfamiliar dirt, haunting trees surrounding him. judging by the blue wisps floating around, he could guess he was in the forests atop wuwang hill.
his question was why.
normally, he teleports away to the next source of concentrated karma to ensure it doesn’t end up infecting the people of liyue. but this… he knew wuwang hill had hilichurls and cicin mages, but certainly not a high enough concentration, right?
‘…all the hilichurls fled to wuwang hill!’
unless something called them here.
with one hand on his mask, xiao drew his spear and started to walk.
the forest was oddly quiet. the leaves themselves seemed to stay still, the only noise being made by his shoes upon the path. there were no cicins, nor their mages, nor hilichurls of any kind. yet what was left of his tattered soul was called up the path, some remnant of an instinct telling him to let go of his polearm.
he gripped it tighter in response.
the stone steps ahead seemed to taunt him, seeming to stretch further and further away as he walked. whatever intuition tugged at him felt like it was tied around his soul, tying up the scattered pieces to drag around. it.. was less irritating than it should be, something that frightened him more.
every step he took highlighted the rips across his heart, the scars of karma accentuated. but it wasn’t the surveying gaze of a predator looking for weak points, the invisible eyes prying into his soul neither threatening or aggressive. it felt like he was being assessed by a doctor, like he was young and still being fostered by morax, like he’d gotten into a scuffle with bosacious and he was being scolded even as his arm was being bandaged, the warm mug of tea in his hand soothing the ache in his knuckles-
water on his cheek drew his attention, and he was quick to wipe it off his face, glancing at the sky. he didn’t remember any stormclouds coming in, and the skies seemed..
clear…
…
xiao set his jaw and kept walking, determined to keep his mind on his task.
the stone was cold beneath his feet, the seelie court glowing as the seelie inside buzzed. xiao turned the corner, ignoring the weird feeling in his chest. it had to be nothing. it had to be just some random memory that he was reminded of because of the trees, or the air, or… anything.
xiao walked up the second set of stairs, stopping at the top in shock. the pathway across the pool in front of the domain was covered in wildlife, everything that was missing from the forest condensed into one space on the path. birds, butterflies, even a crane and an electro cicin, all gathered around a small space.
he slowly took a step forward, confused by the display. to see so many animals getting along, crowding such an area as wuwang hill..
xiao continued to walk, his foot splashing into the water above the path harsher than he intended. he froze, making sure he didn’t disturb anything, but the gathering remained. he quickly made his way over the tree in the middle of the path, ensuring he landed quieter this time. as he closer, the details of what he was looking at slowly filled in. between the legs of cranes and over the heads of crows, he could see that a portion of the stone was a different color than the rest. the water above it also refused to move, the ripples from the various animals not moving it an inch.
the birds finally moved when he got close enough, flapping over to the opposite side of the discolored stone. xiao crouched at the edge of the still water, mindful not to get himself wet.
the stone, and water to some extent, thin as it was, was stained a yellowish color. the path looked newer, less worn, the water above it clearer.
his frown deepened the longer he looked at it. he’d never seen anything like this, any substance that froze water while it was still liquid and cleaned it of any dirt whilst never dispersing. he never saw so much wildlife, for lack of better words, getting along like this. the cicin confused him further- it also linked back to what he’d heard, that hilichurls had been called back to wuwang, but he’d yet to see one.
the slashes across his heart pulsed as it beat, reminding him of their presence as he tried to focus. the string tied in his chest pulled him forward, to reach and sink into the shallow pool of gold. he shouldn’t, it was dangerous, he didn’t know what it was or what effect it had on him—he should leave now, in rationality, because he was already being affected. if whatever this was was strong enough to affect him, a yaksha, then surely it was a danger to the villagers nearby..
then why didn’t he feel like it was a danger? why, though his heart burned with the remains of his karmic debt, eternities of slaughter, did he feel lighter?
questions remained unanswered as the pull strengthened, the animals around him growing bold, risking being near him for the chance to crowd the shimmering water. he checked that there wasn’t anything or anybody lying in wait—the chance of this being a trap was too high to ignore—before hesitantly dismissing his polearm, making way for a large raven to land beside him.
xiao stared at the bird, watching as it kept its body entirely out of the odd zone while still sticking close. did it not feel the same pull as he did? was this water meant for creatures such as him, with lifetimes worth of sin on their shoulders? was this where the hilichurls vanished into?
his heart beat against his ribs, the cuts of karma pulsing with it. this water, this stone, he had to be affecting it somehow. though he made sure that his shoes were outside the boundary and that his hands didn’t touch inside it, it was hard to deny the way whatever was dissolved in the water was attracted to his end. it had formed a gradient, the sheen across it darker on his end. he felt a need to reach out, to hold his dirtied past to this cleansing water and be clean of it. no matter how impossible. no matter how irrational. no matter how hard he tried to tell himself it was outlandish and would only get him into trouble, no matter how strong his will or how many rips crossed his heart.
…when xiao gave in and touched the golden stain, one of the tears healed.
the water’s shine faded in an instant, quickly turning back to clear as the stone beneath it aged before his eyes; animals around him rustled and cried, feathers ruffling as they came to their senses and took flight, leaving him with his hands over his sternum and a bright light beneath his skin.
feeling like one of the birds himself, xiao sat in a daze, his mind racing as he tried to rationalize what just occurred.
what was that? what had happened? why did he feel so light? why was his mind covered in warmth and memories of his time with the yakshas, with morax, with the traveller, why was he so- so free? what happened to the chains of karma crossing his limbs, binding him to his nightmares? what happened to the voices repeating his sins as the worst song ever played, where did the pain and the aches and his debt go? how could this water heal what the adepti could not? what morax could not?
clutching the healed seam of his soul, alatus fled.
1K notes
·
View notes