Do you are have the gay? -Recurser

Yes, we all do. It's terminal and contagious.

We have had a few deaths already.

Deimos has died a few times, Mike died yesterday, ILU has died quite a few times, and of course there's the regular deaths of Adam and Cesar every so often.

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

Okay smartass how would you fix Bingqiu if you had your way?

If you actually want to know you could do to be less of a rude little shit about it, anon, but all right.

This is not about 'fixing' anything. Bingqiu is a wildly popular ship and a lot of people enjoy the exact kind of delusional insanity these two have about each other and that's honestly great. Love it for them. Not my cup of tea though.

I think the easiest and fastest way to make them sort their shit out and maybe put them in a position where I might actually be interested in what's going on with them is to take the protagonist halo away. Maybe the System short circuits, maybe it just gets automatically turned off after the extras, don't know don't care.

A lot of Shen Qingqiu's self delusions are fueled by his unshakeable belief that Luo Binghe, being The Protagonist, is Perfectly Fine the way he is. Binghe is the Protagonist, so when there are no character development or obligatory angst events going on he is happy and healthy and a slightly charred good boy and Shen Qingqiu is The Happy Wife who dotes on his hubby and Everything Is Right In The World. Endless honeymoon with their responsibilities only coming to bother them every once in a while. And it makes it way too easy for Binghe to cover up that he's still hurt, still unstable and still insecure by what went down because Shen Qingqiu is willing to take him at face value when he presents his insecurities as just being shameless neediness for his husband. Of course he happily indulges Binghe! But that isn't really helping with the core of the problem now, does it?

Like, Binghe takes steps towards ensuring Shen Qingqiu's mental wellbeing even at the cost of his own as soon as Maigu Ridge is over when he takes him back to the sect. Shen Qingqiu tries too, in his own way (the entire segment in the tombs is all about him putting himself in very real danger for Binghe's sake) but at the same time, this is a guy who completely missed the writing on the wall that Bingge was deeply unhappy in PIDW. As long as he can hold onto his internal picture that The Protagonist Suffered A Lot But He Is Fine Now I don't think he can really offer the right kind of emotional support for Binghe to actually heal from what happened to him and move on to a healthier frame of mind.

If you take the protagonist halo away, then first of all Binghe can, you know, suck a little. Or a lot, actually. The world not making excuses for him and him being a little defanged would be good for him. He gets really nothing he actually wants from being the protagonist - Shen Qingqiu will love him anyway. Mobei-jun will still stick around to back him up and help him out, because he's still Shang Qinghua's favorite fictional son and Qinghua is happy to see Binghe happy, just, you know, somewhere way over there where he can't get jealous tsundere over Cucumber bro and maybe murder him about it. Sha Hualing is still going to be his buddy because he's her best source of human trivia and the writing inspiration for her girlfriend. Not having to be demon emperor and getting more time to spend with his husband would be a relief.

But he would have to be more aware of other people because he's not above them anymore. Maybe even forced to make a few new friends to get by. And his mask will fail and Shen Qingqiu will have to see him for what he is: just Luo Binghe, still hurt and still confused half demon, who loves him very much, but can't make sense of him and is afraid that he will be left behind or pushed away without explanation again and that's kinda Shen Qingqiu's own damn fault.

And Shen Qingqiu can't hold onto his delusions about The Protagonist. He can't willfully ignore that things are not fine with Binghe because he's not the Protagonist anymore and the world only allows that special privilege for the Protagonist. Binghe is just a guy now and he has so many heart demons he needs help with. His trauma from the abyss or Xin Mo can't be brushed off with 'oh that's just part of his blackening he's fine now' anymore. And it might need a little bit of adjusting to internalize that these problems have always been here just below the surface, but Shen Qingqiu genuinely loves Binghe and would want to help him become happier and more stable in any way he can.

Binghe becoming part of the world in a way that's one person among many - building a support network! maybe befriending new demons or actually getting to know and making up with the QJ disciples or finding common ground with LQG and becoming sparring buddies - rather than a protagonist in a sea of NPCs is a lot more interesting to me than whatever he has going on at the end of canon. And Shen Qingqiu can be there with him on that journey, because he already started unlearning the sense of unreality the System conditioned into him, but he still has a long way to go.

It started with a whisper ♥ (Patreon)

there comes a beautiful time in life where i have to ask myselg th question, "did i accidentally project too hard onto the character that i only relate to a little bit and in doing so hugely missed this one entire aspect/interpretation of the characters . am i stupid"

just speed watched the entirety of alien stage!!! some notes on my experience

what the fuck

So, @silv-paru sent Sherlock Holmes for the character opinion bingo. thanks a bunch for this (and for your patience. my god, i’m answering this a week late. typical me behaviour). you’re a darling :D

Did you know, i used to tell these stories to my friends? they delighted in them AND i got a chance to sort of ramble on and on abt him and watson. it was a win-win, really. ah, those were the days! now i haven’t reblogged much of him this month at all. i miss him. I MISS HIM.

Onto the bingo: well. he’s The quintessence of gender™ to me. and i relate to him so so much. fav character of all time fr. i want to carry him in my pocket at all times & study him. like. do i want to BE him OR am i IN LOVE with him, ykwim? pssh who knows? certainly not me. uh-huh ‘a beast unleashed’ -does this refer to me or him? you choose. oh re: canon, i’m ignoring the part where holmes dies (or y’know, is dead for 3 years). that’s too angsty.

Hello!! I saw your post about the game you're making - it sounded fascinating, and out of curiousity about a genre I don't know much about I got into a visual novel/dating sim related rabbit hole.

If you don't mind my asking, do you have any recommendations? VN or datesims or both! or any adjacents too.

(thank you, and good luck with the game!!)

YIPPEE!!!

i'm a huge fan of it gets so lonely here because it does a lot of cool things with the narration and multiple playthroughs. her tears were my light does similar things with the multiple playthrough thing and it was the first visual novel to really open my eyes to what the genre could be like! and because apparently today is horror yuri day i will add liar liar and liar liar 2. the artstyle is very cute! and there's blood!

for less horror yuri and more dating sim, i am currently completely obsessed with tokimeki memorial girls side 1-3, the dating sim/visual novel/stat-raising hybrid that inspired a lot of otome games—— and for good reason, too, because it's JUST THAT GOOD. i almost exploded something trying to play the fourth game but i will not let that stop me

in pure visual novel, i have to recommend heartbaked, it was one of those games i played in my free visual novel frenzy when i was younger and it really stuck with me! i still think about the radley ending.

i adore adore adore pacthesis games and i would love to direct you to my number one favourite and inspiration, number days sim date, because the intertwining of plot and romance and friendship was wonderful. xolga and mr toko is more point and click but check those out too

i love you was REALLY GOOD and i adored it. if you want proactive women and blushing boys this is the game for you! kill them with blushing right now

senpai please look at me was good!!! i love it! absolutely worth sticking around for all the bonuses! very short and sweet and you will love it

sweetest valentine is a game. in a genre called :). if you don't know what :) means don't worry about it!

play yuki 4p for lesbians and its sequel, scheme, for even more dumb lesbians. i am absolutely begging you to click those links because the names are too long for me to type out and i don't know if googling lesbians scheme will bring you to the masterpiece properly

hermes and gry is REALLY FUNNY but also one of those games that opened my mind to how complex the ren'py system could be. you made a map, a constantly-updated journal, an inventory, and the best damn ending ever? i was screaming when all my evil schemes came together. absolutely 10/10 worth it if the creator wants my liver i'd hand it over

hot coffee is SO SO SO good that i ended up reaching out to the creator just to praise it so much please play it please i'm on my knees please

speaking of games i am begging you to play

absolutely play i want to pursue the mean side character and my sweet zombie!!!! tsun is a great artist and the stories are good and you have to have to have to have to play okay!!! tsun is also making i just want to be single which is so so so cool the game of the year every year and it hasn't been released yet and you need to become. a fan okay because aro pride is right now

I hate going to Christian-based hospitals. There's a bible verse slide show on the screens that other places usually have medical information graphics and resources on and I just got asked "Do you have a source of peace in your life?" like babygirl I'm here for neurological pain my source of peace is Lidocaine 4% and a heating pad

Straight woman coded

say that to my bifag face or kill yourself trying

Antagonist IS a queercoded villain but it’s not to make him more evil it’s the opposite. Being unabashedly strange is so strictly not allowed within the industry and he’s a peek at what people can do and be happy in when they’re not trapped in it for the proagonists

hey i know it's been a while since you started posting these guys but what fandom is all over your blog? i can't tell if its a show or a comic or a novel or what. i'm curious bc the content looks intriguing but i haven't a single solitary clue what it is.

MXTX books! They've been adapted a lot of times in different formats, so I understand the confusion

wip tag game

tagged by the incredibly kind @fidelias <3

RULES: Post the last sentence you wrote (fanfic / original / anything) and tag as many people as there are words in the sentence.

this was ridiculously confusing to figure out because i was like wait. the last sentence i WROTE or the last sentence that i put into the wretched computer. in the end i went with Wrote, so have something for the Untitled Mota Fic ;)

“You feel, sweetheart. There’s nothing wrong with that. You’ll always just be the person who loves more.” John feels the corners of his mouth hook down, like he’s a marionette, controlled by a puppeteer, like he’ll start to cry. He doesn’t. He won’t. “I don’t want to be.” He whispers to his skinned knees. “That doesn’t matter.” His mother soothes, and it’s not comforting in the slightest. “God chose for you.”

not tagging anyone because i think y'all've been tagged already, so the floor's open to anyone <3

the struggle of wanting to plop young dean down in new jersey like literally where i live for a fic but not wanting to say where i live sjkdfjsf 

do you think beatrice would be into the height difference between her and lilith? like probably not much and not often, after all there’s just two or three inches between them, but then sometimes beatrice will be abruptly reminded of it in a vv in your face way and it’ll fluster her more than it should or something maybe?

what are things about lilith and/or things she does do you think would fluster beatrice? and if you’re willing, please do spare a few general/misc & random bealil hcs that you may have 🤲

me looking at every scene between them i've ever written where bea's internal monologue is pretty much

TALL TALL i should tell her a fun fact TALL TALL

oh i want to hug the starwake system so much i adore them all

Waaahhhhh I feel this sentiment so so so much in my whole starry heart and soul...